Body Image, Beauty & Self-Worth w/ Dr. Rady Rahban

00:00Social media was the greatest thing that ever happened to plastic surgery for plastic surgeons, the worst thing that ever happened to plastic surgery for patients. It is the best form of marketing and advertisement for doctors. It is horrific for patients because you are unable to discern, decipher what the hell you're looking at. Is it real? Is it not real? It's like me sending you postcards every day from this incredible island vacation spot. It literally looks like utopia, yet it doesn't exist. It's just a make-believe postcard I sent you.

00:31And all you do is look at your vacation and go, wow, my vacation is white blows. What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. And I am very excited for this podcast today. I genuinely just fired up to have this conversation. If you guys have been in this community for a decent amount of time and you've been a listener for a while, you know that we talk a lot about building your body through strength training, through macros, through consistency.

01:02But today we're going to go somewhere a little bit different that I haven't ever brought to the show before. And I'm excited because so many of you have done the work, but you've put in the reps. You've dialed in your nutrition. You've changed your body. But somewhere along the way, you still feel like, you know, you look in the mirror and you feel like it just isn't enough. This episode is just for that today. So today I have Dr. Karati with us. Welcome. A board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon.

01:38But what makes this conversation so different is that he goes way beyond the physical. He is, I believe, one of the very honest voice in this space when it comes to women, bodies and beauty and what confidence actually means. Today we're going to get into like the more mental side of things behind why so many women feel compelled to fix themselves. How social media has monetized our insecurities and completely, you know, distorted our sense of reality. So this one's going to go deep and I'm excited about it.

02:11And it's going to get real. Well, welcome, Dr. Raj. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here. I'm excited to be here. And I applaud you. I applaud you because so often individuals who are in your space, which is approaching one's happiness through mind, body and soul, exercising, eating right, meditating, you know, all the wonderful things we think of.

02:41Those individuals don't want to address, tackle, discuss plastic surgery. Because in their world, they've drawn a very distinct, very stark line in the sand that that concept, plastic surgery, is so polarly opposite to what they're trying to accomplish that they can't even have the conversation. So I applaud you because this is a responsible dialogue because I assure you that a high percentage of those individuals who are listening to you, following you, participating in what you preach have engaged or will engage in plastic surgery.

03:22And so to not talk about it because, oh, my God, that's the enemy is just foolish. That's just sticking your head in the sand. So bravo for talking about it. Of course, bravo for having me. I appreciate it. And yes, I have spent 20 plus years really dedicating myself to the art of plastic surgery, the execution of plastic surgery, the surgical aspect, but significantly on the mental side. And by mental, I don't mean, you know, I'm some guru or so, you know, some person who is Zen.

03:55I'm just saying there are we're humans and psychologically we have components in us, you know, and, you know, we're a very complex creature and a very complex being. And we have many sides to us and plastic surgery is indeed one of those sides. And I love the dialogue around it because I think it creates clarity. It releases us from our own internal restrictions of how we approach it. And then it allows us to use plastic surgery if we feel that it is indicated in a healthy and productive way.

04:29So, yeah, long winded. I'm happy to be here. Yeah, no, I'm excited to have this conversation with you. And I appreciate your words. I think it's cool what you are doing when it comes to this type of dialogue and conversation, because like you said, the plastic surgery space, you know, you really don't go into the, at least I haven't seen in the space, somebody going into the mental side of it and talking about it about from the approach of what the people may be going to and through. So, yeah, I'm excited to have this conversation with you.

05:00So, let's just dive right into it. The first question that I have for you is around, you know, when women sit across the table from you and they say they want like a procedure done, what are you actually, are there things you're actually listening to that's behind like the physical request of what they're asking for? Yeah, sure. Of course. You don't need a PhD in psychology to, as a clinician, ascertain or gather the mental state of the patient that's before you. First and foremost, you cannot have a worthwhile consultation in eight minutes.

05:36That's number one. That's number one. So, anytime you go and see a doctor, my wife's had six spine surgeries. I went and saw a doctor for a cardiologist yesterday. If that conversation is not more or less an hour, it was a waste of time. So, I believe that wholeheartedly. I've been doing medicine and practicing plastic surgery for 20 plus years. And every consult of mine is long, long-winded, time-consuming because we're tackling very large subjects. So, part of, as you said, reading the patient before me is to spend time with them, right?

06:11So, you know, you come in. Hey, how can I help you? Oh, you know, I've given birth and I've breastfed and my breasts are small and I don't like that and I wish they were bigger. Great. I can help you. We can make them bigger. Great. What size are you? Great. What size do you want to be? See? Great. I can do that for you. Go talk to my office manager. How long was that? That was 40 seconds. So, I don't even need to see you, to be honest with you. I mean, I'm at a point now in my career where if you send me your photos, I can tell you what you need. That was just atrocious. We didn't talk.

06:41I didn't ask you about your medical conditions. I didn't ask you what you do for a living, how old your kids are, what stage of life they're in, what do you eat? So, anyways. So, what I do is I don't have a very like, I don't have like a questionnaire. You know, there's this idea that, you know, everything we talk about is so black and white. Oh, they have body dysmorphic syndrome. No, they don't. Those people are so far and few between. They're so easy to identify. What you want to identify is will this patient be happy?

07:11Let me rephrase that. I didn't say, will this patient have nice breasts? Will this patient have a cute nose? Will the abdomen be flat? That's not what we're trying to accomplish. Yes, that's how we get there. But we want to know is will this patient be happy with what it is that you do? And in order for them to be happy, part of it is you have to execute what you said you're going to execute. Part of it is they have to be a willing recipient and they need to be satiable. So, how do you distinguish that? So, first of all, you talk to them.

07:42You ask them questions. Number one, if a patient can't get eye contact with me while I'm talking to them, we have a problem. Number two, if they're in the room with another person, i.e. their life partner, and they are deferring, referring, you know, a lot of engaging with them during this consultation, it's a problem. Because this is a very independent decision. I cannot tell you the number of revisions I've done over the years where the patient starts when I was with my ex-husband, my ex-boyfriend, da-da-da-da-da, which is fine, but that's a shame.

08:15Like, this wasn't really what I actually wanted. But, you know, of course, we were a partner and you want to make that compromise. And I get that, but this is your body and you want to really make sure it's predominantly what you want. So, when I have a partner in the room, which I love, you should always try to bring your life partner. I think those people do better. But they're deferring to that partner and or that partner is interjecting too much. Very big problem. When the person doesn't describe their interaction with you is emotional.

08:46This is not emotional. The fact that you want to say you've worked out, you've gotten super lean, you're ripped, you're in your late 40s, and now your neck is sagging. It's not emotional. You shouldn't be teary-eyed. You shouldn't be labile, right? It's pensive. You should be thinking about it. It's a big decision. But there shouldn't be all these fluctuations in your emotion. And then when you attach way too much value to it, this is going to save my marriage.

09:16Why are you doing this? Because, you know, we're having some issues. This is not going to save anything. This is going to enhance the quality of your life because you are a stable person who's fulfilling all their other normal needs. All the other checkboxes are done. And no matter what you do, you won't overcome the saggy breasts. So, we have to be very clear in how we define this. Plastic surgery is an adjunct. It's a tool. It's not in lieu of.

09:47It's in addition to. So, if you come to me and you are totally normal, and by normal, I'm going to put it in quotes, a normal person. Well-adjusted. Well-adjusted doesn't mean you don't have anxiety or you don't have some insecurity. That's a well-adjusted person. You're just not out in the far norm, like three standard deviations apart. You're married or you're not married. You're stable. You have a job. You're happy. Overall, you're in joy. And you have a legit issue. You have no breast tissue. You have saggy breasts.

10:19You have a bunch of loose skin and stretch marks from babies or weight loss. You have diastasis. Your nose, relative to your facial features, is enlarged. You have loose neck skin. Your eyelids are touching your eyelashes. A legit anatomical issue that I can look at and you and I go, oh, there it is. And you are otherwise a relatively normal, stable person. It doesn't make you bad, insecure, horrible, nuts that you want to fix that issue. Diet's not going to fix it. Zen is not going to fix it.

10:49Kumbaya is not going to fix it. Going to Air One every day and having a smoothie is not going to fix it. It is a part of who you are. And I noticed that you are in incredible great shape. You, I assume, eat incredibly well. You have a holistic lifestyle. But you have mascara on. Why? Is that your normal natural hair color? Did you just wake up and your hair looks like that or did you fix it today? Well, oh, oh, that's okay. Why is that okay? Why is it okay that you do these things? You adorn yourself with these sort of enhancements.

11:21Yet I, whoever you are, said this is where I draw the line. That's nonsense. Do you have a tattoo? Why? So all we're doing is just arbitrarily deciding what is and isn't okay. It isn't about what it is that isn't okay. Are you a good candidate? And so mental preparedness is a part of it. And so if you have done everything that you preach on your show and you come up to my office and I have a dialogue with you and you have a real anatomical issue and you are totally normal asking me regular questions,

11:53you should, in the 99th percentile, assuming I execute what I said I'm going to do, be over the moon. Because it's added to your life. It's not replacing something that isn't there. So I know that's a long-winded. There is no special, it's spidey sense. I'm a clinician. I've spent years. I just can't do it in a minute. And I can feel it. I've had patients come to me. I had a gal I remember vividly. She was a young girl. She was in her early 30s. She was Indian descent.

12:24She came to me for a breast dog. I went in the room. I did a consult. I could tell she was very anxious. And she was not getting a lot of eye contact and a little emotional. And then I asked her some, once I see that you have that, then I probe more, right? So tell me what's going on. What's the situation? What drives you here? Why you're doing it? I don't necessarily need to ask psychiatric or psychological questions of everyone. But if I start to see things. And lo and behold, she was engaged. She broke it off. The guy was not so lovely, really made her feel insecure.

12:57She wanted to do this because she thinks it'll make her feel better because of whatever reasons. Very classic. Nothing unusual. And I said to her, I said, listen, while you are a good candidate, like physically you're a good candidate, you are in a horrible place. Like, there's no question about it. And chances are, when you're in a better place, you'll still need it or still want it. But you certainly are in an awful place now. Let's have a deal. Why don't you come back to me in one year? And I promise you, if it's something that you still want to do, we'll do. And sure enough, she came back to me in a year.

13:27She was 10 pounds heavier, which is where she needed to be because she was so distraught. She was incredibly thin, right? A lot of people eat, but a lot of people don't eat when they're stressed. And she was just, she just was happier. She's a happier person. We did the breast dog. Everything went fine. She was wonderful. That is one of many, many stories. But, you know, to answer your question, how I discern that and how I know where their psychiatric condition is, is through engagement and dialogue. And it usually surfaces.

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15:05Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

15:35Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

16:05Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I go on my first date with you. I don't like you much easier to break up with you. We're tonight is our wedding. I don't feel right. I got to break up with you. So those are two different animals. So I have actually literally a month ago. I canceled the case in the morning of surgery. She was literally here IV in her arm. Everyone the whole team is here. So we'll get to that one because that's really unpleasant. But there are several reasons why I won't operate on you.

16:37Let me back up here for a second. If for no reason other than your own selfish reasons, as a doctor, you want to give a shit. You want to avoid headache. Say like, let's say I'm not an empathetic person. Let's say I'm not a kind physician. Let's say I don't give a shit about the patient. Let's say all I want is to make money and live a happy life. I don't want to operate on people who will then be a headache. Right? So if I operate on you or you're emotionally a disaster, I'm going to own you. Right?

17:07I don't sell you a purse and you just return it. Like you're my patient. You're online writing horrible things about me. You destroy my office morale by calling us all the time. Furthermore, any complication you have is amplified through lawsuits. So for no reason other than selfishness, you'd think physicians would care more, but it's, they just don't because it's time consuming to care. It's time consuming. So that answers your question. So the reasons why I don't operate on you are several or in your instance, turn them away.

17:41Number one, they legitimately don't have an issue. They come in. Hey, Dr. Urban. How you doing? Great. How's it going? Hair. I'm here for my nose. Wonderful. Let's take a look. Okay, great. What bothers you? This hump. It's crooked. It's not straight. It's not symmetrical. It's not whatever. I examined them. And for the life of me, I'm not really that sure. I see what they're talking about or what they're talking about is so minor that in no universe is it worth the slide, right? The run versus the slide.

18:11Like it's just not worth doing. Those patients require very gentle dialogue and a little bit of reassurance that what they're seeing is not accurate. Right? Oh, but you don't seem to understand, Dr. Urban. Let me show you this picture. Well, the hell with your picture. Look at you right here. Right, right in front of me. Yeah, yeah. But I, I know that. But when I angle, I go, that's a photograph. So issue number one is sometimes people identify concerns that are just not valid.

18:41They're not crazy. They're not crazy. They're not out of their minds. They're just not. They're just picky people. So I walked them off the ledge. Some of them. They're like, okay, fine. And they're all bummed out, right? Because anybody who comes is coming for a reason. They want to operate. So they're bummed out, but they agree with me. And some are like basic. I literally just got a DM from a lady. I wish I could show it to you because her name's on there. She blasted me because she came for her revision, revision, revision rhino.

19:12Apparently, I told her it was a bad idea to operate on it. And she wrote me an essay on how horrible human being I am because she found a doctor who operated on her and fixed her. And had she listened to me, she would have lived with this horrible nose her whole life. I got blasted for not operating on you. I mean, look at the universe we live in. I mean, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Yeah. Second reason we don't operate on you is because you have the issue. You're just not all there.

19:42Mm-hmm. All the reasons I mentioned. And that's harder, right? Harder because I have to, in a hour long consult, somehow tell you that you're not emotionally stable to have this. So I'll guide them, but often it's not my place and the right place to have that dialogue and it usually backfire. So I very easily and gently massage them out of doing it so I'm not responsible. But, you know, oh, shouldn't you send them to a therapist? Hi, nice to meet you.

20:12You came here for a breast. I think you need to see a psychologist. Like that's not going to go over well. That's not realistic. But I certainly don't need to operate on you. Have you had anybody ever say thank you for that? Oh, yeah. Listen, you can tell by this, whatever, our podcast has been 20 minutes. I'm very direct. Yeah, I love it. Right. And I'm always direct because that's, you can never go wrong for being honest. You can be uncomfortable. You're not going to be like, even if this lady wants to sue me for not operating on her, you can't sue me for not operating on you. You understand what I'm saying?

20:42So you're never going to get in trouble for telling the truth. I tell that to my four year old. And the third and the most uncomfortable is I've this I've you went through the first two hurdles. I met you. I had a pre-op with you. And then it's your day of your surgery. And you're behaving nuts. You're emotionally labile. Um, last month, it was a young lady. She lost a hundred some odd pounds. We were supposed to do phase one of multiple surgeries. She was going to have a circumferential body lift. She had loose skin everywhere. Very, very sort of hostile young lady.

21:16Remember, I don't need to love you as my patient. I need to tolerate you. Of course, I want everyone to be lovely, but that's not the case. We're not going to have dinner. As long as you're decent, I'm okay. So anyways, the day of her surgery, she was just crazy. She was acting mean to everybody, rude to the staff, reluctant to do things. I walked in and I canceled her. She looked at me like flabbergasted. What do you mean? What do you mean? I said, we're not operating on you today. Pack up your bags, call yourself an Uber, call my office in the afternoon, and we'll refund

21:48you the total amount of your surgery, even though we should charge you. Cause I have anesthesiologists here. I have my whole staff here. We lost money by having you here. You've got to go home. And then of course you got really angry and wouldn't leave and so on and so forth. So yes, I don't operate on people. Love that. Well, I love, again, that goes into the respect. Like you care for your people. And then you also, you know, have respect for the job that you do. So you're not going to operate on everybody.

22:18We'll turn people away if they're not physically or emotionally fit for the job that you want to do for them. Yeah. I want to talk about social media. What, uh, what are your viewpoints on social media? Um, nowadays and, and how people look at social media and see these fillers of people. And then they compare themselves of why they're not looking the way that they, why this personal social media looks like. Does that make sense? Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Social media was the greatest thing that ever happened to plastic surgery for plastic surgeons.

22:49The worst thing that ever happened to plastic surgery for patients can't get any better than that. It is the best form of marketing and advertisement for doctors. The best. It skyrocketed because it's like now every single human being is a walking billboard for a plastic surgery. It is horrific for patients because you are unable to discern decipher what the hell you're looking at. Is it real? Is it not real? So it's like me sending you postcards every day from this incredible island vacation spot.

23:23It literally looks like utopia yet. It doesn't exist. It's just a make believe postcard I sent you. And all you do is look at your vacation and go, wow, my vacation in Hawaii blows. God, I should wish I were on that island. Look at that weather. Look at that palm tree. So it's a catastrophe. I mean, it's just a catastrophe. It's great in that there are a few benefits, right? A few benefits are you get more information out there. People know things exist that they never did before. And, you know, the occasional patient who will tell their disaster story will kind of warn people.

23:54For that five things that I just mentioned, there's 150 wrong things with it. Number one, everybody is filtering their photos. I mean, Kris Jenner, for the love of God, broke the internet, broke, broke the internet because she posted a photo of her after surgery and she had 30 year old skin. That wasn't surgery. That wasn't surgery. That was the filter. So secondly, nobody has acne. Third, everyone's ribs are in. Everyone's ass is big. Everyone is fit and muscular.

24:24They show a couple of photos of, I don't know, some chia seeds that they eat. And everyone's a fitness instructor and everyone's a beauty and everyone's got long legs and everyone's hair is perfect. So when you are a regular person and you cannot help this, this is not something you will compare yourself to other people. That's how we gauge our, you're so honest. Honest is what? Relative to whom am I honest? You're so, it's all a relativeness. We don't exist in a bubble.

24:54You're tall relative to short people. You are, it's all relative. And so when you are constantly comparing yourself 497,000 images a second, even if you are the most stable, most secure, most, you are literally Gandhi. You are going to be affected. And it's just no way around it. And it sucks. You mentioned too, I think you could piggyback off of what you're saying here. I want you to dive in a little bit deeper on what you mean by monetized insecurity and how social media has done that to us.

25:29Yeah. I mean, listen, I make a living operating on you. That's how I make a living. I operate on you by you showing up. You show up because you want something fixed. You want something fixed because healthy. There's a real issue there that you can't fix on your own. Unhealthy. You see images and it makes you feel shitty about something that you would never have felt shitty about had someone else not pointed out to you. Totally different. Social media increases insecurity 8,000 fold and insecurity drives surgery.

26:02And I don't mind being insecure. It's a reality of humans. You cannot secure yourself into loving your panace from three kids. I don't care who tells you that. That's just bullshit. I have three kids. I do yoga. I eat macros. I'm clean. I do triathlons. What do I do with this loose skin hanging over my pubis? Well, just love yourself. Be Zen. What? What are you talking about? So I don't mind that there is an issue creating an insecurity that I can fix that you will love and then you will kill it.

26:39I just don't like when the insecurity is fabricated and amplified and doesn't really exist. So, yes, it's monetizable. But don't get me wrong. It's not our fault. It's not like, oh, greedy plastic surgeons. You guys are doing it to yourselves. You know, yes, of course, doctors are advertising. But this whole phenomenon was created out of the birth child of social media. We just happen to be benefiting from it. That's pretty spot on. It's pretty, pretty wild what social media can do and create it in our, in our minds.

27:11Listen, look, look at your, look at your own career. What has social media done for you? Would you even exist 10 years ago without social media? You wouldn't. You just wouldn't. You have no followers. You'd have no one know you exist. You're amazing and you're worthy of that following, but you wouldn't be because there's no eyeballs. So it is a double edged sword. It is a gun. It is a knife. It helps and hurts. It's just unfortunate that there are no guy guardrails for the hurt part.

27:42So if you are a vulnerable person, sadly, we know half the population is, it will suck. And if you were a good person and healthy, you're like, oh my God, look at that girl. She's crushing it. I want to follow her. I'm going to get my shit together. Awesome benefit. We love it. Yeah. I think to piggyback off what you said about, cause there's a lot of women that come into the warrior bay program and they have already done liposuction. Um, but they then gained the weight back from the liposuction and they don't feel,

28:13uh, they went into a kind of what you were talking about earlier. They went into it with more of emotional response on the outside. They thought that they would be happier after their surgery happened. Uh, they weren't happier and they came out more frustrated than eating and, and, and obtaining the eating habits that they had beforehand. Um, can you dive in a little bit around that psychological process where like, and you kind of talked about it earlier, but a little bit deeper in terms of the people coming in, wanting to be happy, but they come out on the other end, not happy.

28:44Sure. So let's be specific about what it is that you do and which is being in shape. No cosmetic surgery, none, no tummy tuck, no breast lift, no, no body. Nothing ever takes the place of you being in shape. I am a fitness freak, not because I look it, but I love it. I love muscles. I love tone. I love the tightness. I like the physique. I like the torso. I like the posture. There's nothing more attractive in a man or a woman than being in shape. And you can not buy that.

29:15You can not operate on that. You can do shit to that. So if I have two candidates, mom, one, mom, two, both have had three kids. Both have undergone the same, you know, cycles. Mom, one comes in, been on doing yoga and Pilates is in shape, has the bulge associated with diastasis, means there's no amount of crunches that's going to fix that flattening, has some loose skin and flat breasts. And patient two is the same person, but is 25 pounds overweight because shit, threw in the towel.

29:50There's just no point. I can't get ahead of this ball. I'm so far behind. Patient one will crush it in my before and afters. And they will be the ones that I post because once I fix them, they're killing it. They're flat, they're ripped, they're toned. Patient two will do well. And relative to where they started, they'll be better. Patient three, the one I didn't operate on is overweight. And when patients come to my office and they are overweight, I send them out.

30:21Why? Because they will look shitty. They will still look frumpy. It will not work. So prior they'd have to go and work out and eat better. Well, we both know that that's just a huge obstacle for people. Well, now there's GLPs and all those things. And we'll address that at a later point. I almost never, and this is going to be really important to everyone listening. I almost never do liposuction. I hate liposuction. I loathe liposuction. I speak out against liposuction.

30:51So let me elaborate why that is. Please. 90% of our surgeries, rhinoplasty, upper eyelid, facelift, nose job, breast aug, breast lift, tummy tuck. I keep going on. Have great results when you're a great candidate. The candidacy for liposuction is so small that there's probably one out of a hundred that come to me. So let me tell you why that is.

31:22Let's talk about the procedure. I don't give a shit what the doctor tells you. I don't give a shit what type of lipo they advertise as world renowned. No one has ever seen. This is the newest technology. It came out last week. It's all a lie. Liposuction is a very basic procedure. We poke a hole somewhere. We then stick a long tube with an opening called a cannula.

31:54And then we pluck out and suck out fat. And it will be 100% of the times irregular because we're plucking out fat just blindly out of our ass. And when you're done, you will have fat in a canister. That's sweet. I love that. You will be smaller transiently, yet you will be looser. Why will I be looser?

32:24You think sucking out fat makes your skin tight? In what universe does taking a pillow out and putting a smaller pillow in make the pillowcase tighter? Oh, we know it doesn't work. So then we start doing extra things like J plasma and Renuvion. Those are all technologies where we go in after we lipoed you and we, excuse my French, your skin. We stick in another product that heats the skin from the inside, praying to God it makes it tight. Because we know we just loosened it.

32:54And 100% of patients will have irregularities. Some divot, some ripple, some dent, contour, something. Why? Because I removed your fat in little chunks. I didn't take it out with a wand or cut it out. I just plucked it out. So the reason I don't like liposuction is everyone looks good at the beginning. So all the photos you see on the table during social media is useless because they're literally swollen on the table.

33:26All photos within the first six months are useless. Are useless. And anyone who shows their photos is always overstretching. So if you look at someone who is showing their abdomen after lipo, they're arched because they're consuming the loose skin. Low skin, lower abdomen, abdomen, loose skin, inner thigh, loose skin. You know how many tummy tucks, tummy tucks I've done in 20 some odd year old girls who have never had a child because they had liposuction a couple of years earlier? Probably a hundred. Probably a hundred. Because liposuction is a shitty technology.

33:58Now, surgeons who make a living doing liposuction will tell you, oh, it's because they don't know what they're doing. They need the right technology. They haven't mastered it. I know what I'm doing. It has nothing to do with skill. It's a shitty technology. It just is. It's like shooting an arrow with a broom. It just doesn't work. So I only do liposuction selectively. Oh, look at you. You're so fit. I love it. But yeah, I know I have just this tiny amount of fat like stuck here. Great candidate. A little tiny amount of fat targeted in an area that is easy to remove.

34:32I'm not going to take you at 200 and make you 150. Second of all, your skin matters. Oh, I've had three children. Don't do lipo. Well, I've never had children. I'm 22 years old. Okay. Better. Better. Right. So it's a small amount in good skin people, as opposed to the overwhelming majority of lipo is large amounts in shitty skin. And the more you remove, the more issues you have. So I needed to give you that little bit of a synopsis on just liposuction because a lot

35:06of people who are working out get frustrated and then they're like, fuck this. I'm just going to go and do just this little area. And then that little area becomes a huge issue because then they get a dent and dividend, whatever. So every time I post anti liposuction, I get 20, 30% of the people going, you don't know what you're talking about. My liposuction was the best thing I ever did. You obviously don't know. And then they tag their surgeon and I get 70% of the comments going, Oh my God, this is exactly what happened to me. Holy shit.

35:36I wish I never did it. Yeah. To me, to me, if I came in to do a procedure, spine surgery, heart transplant. And I told you that there's a high probability to me, high probably is anything more than 5% that that surgery is going to have an issue. I wouldn't do it. Because this has a high issue. We don't have that issues with breast dogs and nose jobs and eyelids, just lipo. So that's really important because people look at lipos almost as a lunchtime thing. It's not even really surgery. You know what I mean? It's just, I just went in for a little suck.

36:07Yeah. So that is my philosophy. The reason people come out overall unhappy is they were the wrong person doing the wrong surgery. 99%, I swear to God, of my patients are elated over the moon cards and gifts and chocolate and Dr. Abban, we love you. You're so amazing. 16 year old nose jobs, 82 year old facelifts. It doesn't matter who they are. If they are a good candidate physically, emotionally, and you do what you said you were supposed to

36:39do, no complications, you execute the surgery that we talked about. 99% of people will be ecstatic. When they are unhappy after surgery, it's because they were a bad candidate physically or emotionally, or you did a shitty job. Well, of course you're not going to be unhappy. You're going to be devastated. You spent all this money. Yeah. I appreciate you elaborating on that. First, going back to the liposuction side of things, because there's definitely going to be a lot of women that are people listening to this that resonate with what you said and be like, yeah, dang, I should have never done it in the first place.

37:09So just elaborating on that is good. And I feel you on like the attacks to get on social media. Because there's, you know, once you're, once you bring your truth and directness to something that you firmly believe in, you have people chirping in about, because like, you know, me, me in the fitness space, I just talk about the basics. I talk about eating well, working out, getting movement in, drinking your water, prioritizing your sleep and X, Y, and Z. But as soon as like, I go against GLP ones, or I go against the new crazes that are coming out, it's like, I get cooked for it.

37:40So yeah, you get cooked for it because people feel guilty. Because we all know the basics. You did not invent exercise. You did not invent nutrients. You did not invent rest. You did not invent hydration. This has been known since, I don't know, shit. I probably, since the time of the Greeks. I mean, you have not invented any of that. But when you say, okay, these basic things, which everyone has access to, it's free.

38:10Like it's not even not, it's not even accessibility. And people are unable to because they're unwilling. These are unwillingness. This is not, I couldn't afford it. Unwilling to do it. And they find another route. They feel shame and anger because you're telling them basically, hey, you're turning the mirror on them. Yeah, we can totally continue down this, this conversation, but I do want to bring it back to, um, if a woman is considering a procedure, okay, what questions should she ask herself first before she goes forward with booking a consultation with you?

38:41Yeah, great. Number one, who am I doing this for? So you think to yourself, oh, I'm doing this. The first person that should pop in your mind is me. We don't live in isolation. We are not selfish creatures. If the second person says my husband, my boyfriend, I don't think that's terrible. I don't think it's terrible to say that I love myself and I want to enhance my relationship with my person. My person I love. Um, I'm traditional. I'm not of the new wave of, you know, it's me, me, me.

39:11Fuck everybody else. I'm of the tradition that me and my wife are partners and we do things for ourselves and we do things for each other. And so first thing they need to ask themselves is who am I doing this for? And if it needs to be front and center needs to be you. If the answer is, well, we're, my husband and I are starting to get, you know, we'll have conflict. Maybe if I fix the way I look, it'll re spark our marriage. I think that's a dangerous and slippery path. The second thing is where am I in my journey?

39:43Right? Um, when it's facial surgery, it doesn't apply, but when it's anything body raises, where am I in my weight? Am I, have I even bothered to even try to lose weight? As I told you the outcomes of a leaner person versus a heavier person in terms of the essential aesthetic outcome. Forget about everything else. Wow. Which one of these two people looks better? The thinner person does better from cosmetic surgery. The overweight person doesn't do as well from cosmetic surgery.

40:17So you don't have to be skinny, but you can't be overweight. At least in my office. Third, if you go somewhere and someone doesn't tell you you're overweight and you know you're overweight, walk out anyways. Run. Right? Um, and then you have to make sure that you are in a space where you can be selfish for a period of time. There is a massive concept of mommy guilt. Mommy. I have had women bawling. Bawling.

40:47And pre-op. Pre-op. That's we've met. You came in. You showed me your huge diastasis, your big old hernia, your skin touching your, like, you met your greed. You come, you come to pre-op and I can tell they're really sort of nervous and unhappy. You should be ecstatic at that point. This is, I always say it. The beauty of what I do and why I went to what I do and I didn't go into oncology is I want to be involved in fun, good, exciting things. I want a hug and a big old, you know, chocolate or something as a gift.

41:20Why? Because I made your life better. So if you come in and your anxiety is 10 and your excitement is two, we got a problem because this is elective. Right? If you come in and your anxiety is a two and your excitement is a 10, I love it because you're normal. You're having surgery. Sometimes I see women and they're really pensive and I poke and I poke and I start bawling. I have three kids. Is this irresponsible of me? What if something happens to me? I'll never forgive myself. What if I, something happens to me and then what are going to tell my kids that mommy didn't

41:53make it because she was vain and they start really beating themselves up. You think, you think your husband will have that dialogue in his head when he goes to fix his hair transplant? He doesn't give a shit. That's not the way men are wired. And then maybe this money may, you know, we're not that wealthy. I should have put this in their 529 account and maybe like so much weight is being carried on a woman who has children. And I love it.

42:23That's the definition of motherhood, but it's, it's, it's inappropriately placed women who love themselves because they feel empowered and beautiful and attractive and confident, crush it as husbands, as, as wives, crush it as moms and crush it at work. I can tell you no less than 1000 stories of women who've come back to me post surgery saying to me the following things. My relationship with my husband who loved me and adored me and who told me I don't need

42:57it is through the roof. Why? You think he's looking at you and going like, wow, my wife's a hot piece of ass now. No, you are so confident in intimacy, showering. Thousand women told me prior to my surgery, my husband was not allowed to see me naked. We've been married 25 years. Lights are off. He is not allowed to touch my abdomen during intimacy. What the, what, what? So the reason why it works is because you have a loving partner who loves you the way you are.

43:27You're the one that doesn't love yourself. You do the surgery. You're like, wow, I look good. You start wearing sexy underwear, turn on the lights and your intimacy increases. Second thing that happens is that you feel better as a mom because unconsciously you have guilt. You are angry at your children unconsciously. I know that sounds horrible, but they're the ones that made you this way. And so when you are beautiful to yourself and your kids are there, you got a win-win. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate.

43:57Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. Having a surrogate. I've noticed it. One million times. I've had women tell me. The most intimate secrets.

44:27Of their personal lives. And it's so touching. That I knew. That I could be a part of that. And they could have never. Accomplished it. Through diet and exercise. That's why I like what I do. I am necessary. So you clearly think. A lot. A very different about all of this. From a. On a much deeper level. Than most. When it comes to this. Your practice. And. How you go about it. With your clients. What do you want women. To walk away with. From this conversation today. I want them to. Be open.

44:57Not to create any. Line in the sand. It's a fluid dialogue. One is not in lieu of the other. What you do. And what I do. Synergistically. Makes the best version of you. It is not. Well. No. You just. You know. You shouldn't do plastic surgery. What's plastic surgery. That's so gross. It's vain. You know. That. The way. You are looking at it. Is so negative. Conversely. You can't be like. Why.

45:27You don't need to work out. Just take a GLP. And just do some surgery. It's not going to work. You're not going to look like. There's no way in hell. None of my patients look like you. They're not. Fit. And lean. And ripped. And. So. You. We're. We're tools. Right. Together. And synergistically. In the right person. In many instances. Patients. Take your path. Because it's usually the path. First path. Not always. But the first path. And they don't need me. Great.

45:57Awesome. High five. Wonderful. You love yourself. With all of your flaws. Which we all have. And I. I'm happy. I never met you. Right. And then there's some people. That take your path. They do everything they're supposed to do. And they hate their saggy breasts. And they hate their loose skin on their stomach. And their diastasis will never. And I'm going to say this right now. Anyone says anything otherwise. They're full of shit. No trainer. Not you. No one. Is fixing your diastasis.

46:27What you're doing. Is reinforcing your obliques and your core. I am a world renowned diastasis expert. I don't say that loosely. Because I never self promoting. But in the area of diastasis. I'm in. And the millions of women have come to me. Telling me I've spent 12 years. In so and so's fitness rehab program. It's foolish. You must work your core. You need the obliques. And the rectus muscles to be strong. But there is a gap. And that gap is not going to.

46:57Magically sew back together. So. After they've done your. Lifestyle program. If there are things that they're still unsatisfied with. And they have the means. Right. They're not selling their house. And they have a stable environment. I'm. And they find a reasonable surgeon. Wherever they are. And there. There are many. There aren't thousands. Most are not great. But there are certainly great surgeons throughout this country. Then I am a huge. Naturally.

47:27Advocate of. Plastic surgery. Because I am the lucky one. That has seen the inevitable. Benefits out of it. So I think that's the key. The message is don't be so dogmatic. It is not all or none. One or the other. It's all of it. And each person is very specific. And very unique. And we need to tailor our conversation. The plastic surgery is the variable. Your part is universal. There is not anyone on the planet.

47:57That doesn't need to exercise. There is not anyone on the planet. That shouldn't eat well. There's not anyone in the planet. That shouldn't remain hydrated and rest. So what you're preaching is organic in the baseline. The question then remains is once you've done that. Do you or don't you need additional assistance. And that is individual. And for each person to decide. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I definitely agree with you on that for sure. You know, that's the people can all go about taking a health and fitness journey. As everyone should. As health is very important.

48:27Is very important. And eating well is very important. And working out. For the long term. Um. But there's a path which some people will do that work. Yet they still want to make you know themselves beautiful. And they want to feel a type of way about their body. Because they put in all the works. And they come to you. And they can make it. And it's really. It's. And it's really. Really enjoyable. Because you kind of feel like you made it to the vista. Yeah. Who the hell wants to climb Everest and just fall short of the peak. Yeah.

48:57For sure. Very, very disappointing experience. And so if you climbed up 85% of that goddamn mountain. And you can't make it up the last 15 and a helicopter comes and picks you up. Take the goddamn helicopter. Yeah. You know what I mean? A little too. And that's something that's going to make you happy at the end of the day. And if you're happy. Then I totally want. Yeah. 100%. Well, that's why I said bravo to you before I started this process. Right? Yeah. So many people are afraid of this dialogue. Because they feel that it would undermine what they're doing.

49:28Right. And the reality is that that's not the case at all. Right. And so good for you. Because you have a listenership. People follow you. They respect what you have to say. And for you to be able to have this dialogue openly. I say it's volumes about you. Because you are allowing them to think freely throughout this entire experience. Yeah. No, I appreciate that big time. And then like just to piggyback off of what you said with the Mount Everest. Because there are people that are going to be like okay where they are at 85%.

50:01But the main thing that you talked about throughout this entire topic conversation. The how you started it off with was like the patients I just want to work with at the end. I want them to be happy. That's the main thing. So it's like people can be happy 85% on like working up to Mount Everest. But also getting to that peak. If they have the means and the ability to do it. That's what they'll come to you as a tool to finish out the whole outcome. So yeah. We are not to judge what makes you happy. You can if listen. I don't agree with it. But if you're 350 pounds and you're happy. That's your life.

50:31That's your choosing. It also happens that most people aren't. So it's not rocket science that the people who take the healthier path tend to be more happy people. So whatever makes you work. Whatever works for you rather. Then you know we're here to facilitate it. That's just the bottom line. Where can people. I know you're on social media in every place. And I want people to be able to find you and follow you. And if they ever want to come get a procedure. Yeah. Of course. I appreciate that. First and foremost. I've spent since 2019.

51:02So that's seven years now. I can't believe how long it's been. I've had a podcast painfully once a week. 300 and some odd episodes of this exact same type of approach about every goddamn thing you can imagine. Patients complications going over this surgery centers board certification. Because plastic surgery is treacherous. It's confusing. It's misleading. It's not accidentally that way. It's by design. If we confuse you. You can't figure it out. You'll be more likely to make a choice of something you wouldn't have otherwise. So my podcast is called plastic surgery uncensored.

51:35You find it everywhere. Whatever. Spreaker, Spotify, everything. And then you can find me on social media. And that's easy way to just follow. And it's a DR as in for doctor. And then my name is very ethnically odd. So it's Roddy Rabban, but it's R-A-D-Y-R-A-H-B-A-N. So Ray D Ray-Ban. So DR Roddy Rabban. So Dr. Roddy Rabban is my handle. I hate that term.

52:05And yeah, those are the two easiest places to find me. And if you like this concept and you're like, God, I'm now I'm curious about whatever. Restless, face. There's 25 episodes about that particular thing with patients we've operated on. People have had complications. And I think much like you learn, you know, I'm assuming the people who follow you are learning about nutrition and health. They're not just following you. They're like, oh, and this is how you capture your food. And this is how you know this one has got a low glycemic index. And when you do this particular exercise, it needs a longer recovery than when you there's knowledge and you're providing it.

52:40But we do that on plastic surgery. Love that. Guys, go check out the podcast. And if you ever need you're in the Beverly Hills area. Yes. Yes. And that doesn't mean we're crazy expensive or only for celebrities. People like it backfires like I really have. Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. I'm like, I can't imagine the people that come into your office. We get a variety. We get what I love about the practice is your personality as a clinician draws the patients you see.

53:10Totally. Since I am kind of like everyone asks, I'm from New York. I'm not. I draw every walk of life. So we have from CFOs and CEOs and celebrities to nannies and, you know, housekeepers. We have everybody. We love it. Well, thank you so much, Dr. Rowdy, for being here and for just speaking your like honest, direct truth. I appreciate that big time. And for spreading, you know, the more of this, the mental side of the game when it comes to plastic surgery and making sure that you're going into it with the right type of mindset.

53:44And ultimately want to just leave everybody feeling happy and more confident at the end. Indeed. Indeed. And I appreciate you giving me the opportunity and the platform. And the more we get the message out, the more we can sway the pendulum toward the better half of plastic surgery. As I said, it's a knife. So it cuts both ways. And so we really want people to be happy when it's all said and done. It saddens me when people pursue plastic surgery and have a bad outcome. And it's really, it's really a shame. It does. It really, it tarnishes our, our, our profession.

54:15So bravo. Yeah. Well, thank you again for being here. And any way that enjoyed this episode and want to share it with somebody, go share it with one of your friends. And the show notes will be in the, the, the show notes below and all your links to will be there as well. If anyone wants to follow. Awesome. Bye bye. Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favorite ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference.

54:46Helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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