Finding Balance w/ the 'All or Nothing' Mindset In Fitness

00:00Real quick, the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals, and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate, review, and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask for you to do is if you could leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone else. I was doing a cardio every single day. I was weightlifting every single day. And I was like, if I didn't complete every single exercise in the set and rep scheme as prescribed, I was a complete failure.

00:39What is going on, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkie Stott. And welcome to today's episode, episode 103, where we're going to talk about the all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to fitness, which thank you to one of my IG people.

01:10I posted on my story the other day to give me some topics that I can elaborate on this podcast, because hearing what you guys want to hear is really helpful so that I can present it here. And I always ask for those topics to be worthy of long conversations, and I think this is definitely worthy of a long conversation. And when I first saw this pop up in the little Q&A or whatever box on my IG story, I was like, damn. I can really elaborate on this topic, because I feel like I lived that all-or-nothing mindset when I was bodybuilding.

01:48So if you guys have listened to the first episode of this whole podcast, I would highly recommend it, because I share my entire journey in that episode. And a little bit of my journey, you know, I've been doing this for eight years now, and my journey consisted of starting out in the bodybuilding world. Back in 2015, I committed to doing my first bodybuilding competition later on in the year, in November. Holy cow, I think it's been almost like eight years to this day. But I committed to doing that.

02:20And down that road of the next three years, I truly did live this all-or-nothing mindset. So I want to just, I want to share that story a little bit more and kind of connect the dots as I talk about this mentality throughout this podcast today. There's some good aspects to it. There's pros to it. There's cons to it. I'm going to talk about how it manifests in the fitness arena. You know, how it shows up. And maybe it's showing up for you. And I want to provide some solutions, of course, from what I've learned through my own journey,

02:54but also just solutions in general, so that you can maybe see where this is happening for you and try and fix it so that you're not in this all-or-nothing mentality. Because it can be a very challenging mentality to be stuck in and also feel like, you know, you have to be this one way. When I felt the same way for three years. But, you know, there is the other side of that mentality where you can live in balance.

03:25You can have a sustainable approach. You can really incorporate the lifestyle that you want and still be healthy and still get the results that you want not having that mentality. So with all that being said, let's dive into today's podcast. First, I want to just talk about, like, the definition of an all-or-nothing mindset. It's, like, known as that, like, black or white thinking. And it's this distortion in individuals that makes those individuals perceive situations

03:56in extremes, right? Something is either, like, entirely perfect or it's a complete failure. And there's, like, no middle ground. There's no, like, shades of gray. And how this could manifest here in just in the definition terms, there's, like, key characteristics that would define this a little bit deeper. Into this mindset. A few of them are binary thinking. So situations that are viewed either as either-or scenarios without recognizing, like, a spectrum of possibilities, right?

04:27For instance, you either follow your diet extremely, like, strict. Or you slip and you see yourself as having completely fallen off the wagon, right? Or then there's a perfectionism. There's often, like, a drive for being perfect, which can lead to setting unattainably high standards for yourself. And if those standards aren't met, then it can lead to feelings of that you're a failure or just leading to feelings of self-doubt or leading to feelings of, like, oh, well, I'm never going to be able to stick to this diet because, or this plan because I messed up, you

05:02know, this one day out of, like, the whole year. Like, that's an extreme, right? Or feeling like there's inflexibility, right? There's little to no room for flexibility or adjusting expectations based on, like, a circumstance, right? You have an injury. Well, how am I supposed to work through this injury rather than just accepting that you have an injury? Or my husband ended up in the hospital, but I need to go work out, right? Like, that's an extreme thinking. Like, you feel like there's no flexibility or, like, to adjusting your expectations that

05:36you have for yourself and following this thing, plan, based off of a circumstance or life that happens, right? You feel like you have to, like, you have to be, you have to be 100% perfect in the plan that you're following if life happens. And that can result in, like, the inability to adapt to change or unexpected situations that are going to happen in your life. And so having this, like, all or nothing mentality, like, if you fall into those three buckets, right, binary thinking, there's either or situations, right?

06:09You either follow this diet or you're a complete failure or you have a perfectionist, perfectionism mindset where you have entirely high standards for yourself. And if they're not met, then you have feelings of failure or self-doubt or, like, inflexibility. If life happens, which it does, you get injured, you get sick, your husband ends up or a family member ends up getting sick or having to have surgery or something, or life happens, right? Then, like, you can't adapt to that change or those unexpected situations. So that's, like, an all or nothing mindset, right?

06:40And so let me pull back into my world of bodybuilding. For the first seven months of my journey, I literally lived this all or nothing mentality that I had to follow this X diet in order to get this X result when I stepped on stage. And I thought that I had to follow it exactly to a T, which I did throughout those seven months. I think I maybe messed up one or two times because I went to a wedding and I felt like a pure failure

07:11at that point because I was, like, three or four weeks out from this show, from this end point. And I was so entirely drained. I was exhausted. I was starving. And I was at this wedding and I said, fuck it, right? That was in that. This is like an all or nothing mentality. I had every sense of completely failing and falling off the wagon. I had a self-doubt of, like, well, great. Now this happened. So when I step on stage, I'm not going to win because this happened. And it was a wedding. Life happened, right?

07:41So I had this feeling of, like, I cannot adapt to this wedding or this, like, situation that I had never been in for the last six months. So I, you know, I fell off. I had, I wasn't able to adjust my expectations where I, like, that wedding, like, after winning the show and going to compete, that wedding did nothing. It was, like, a small bump in the road. So, like, for me, like, I followed that diet to the T, right?

08:12And I messed up maybe another time earlier on because I was measuring my rice wrong. And I was, like, goddamn, I'm a failure, right? I truly lived in this all or nothing. If I don't follow this plan to a T, if I don't work out, you know, the six days a week leading up to the show, I was doing seven days a week. I was doing a cardio every single day. I was weightlifting every single day. And I was, like, if I don't follow this down to you guys, this is how extreme my all or nothing mindset got. Down to the fact that if I didn't complete every single exercise in the set and rep scheme as prescribed, I was a complete failure.

08:51I wasn't being perfect. I couldn't adapt to, like, if there was a day that I wasn't able to do that because of time. I had no flexibility in just, like, adapting to that change and, like, letting myself know that that would be okay. That is how I lived for the first seven months. And then it continued on because after my first show, when I gained back all of this weight, 25 pounds in one month, I was entirely uncomfortable. And I was, like, the only way that I know how to get this body is by doing exactly what I just did previously for the last seven months.

09:24So then I dove into competing again. And then I competed in 2016. And that all or nothing mentality just continued and it continued and it continued. And so I want to dive into a few of the pros and cons, right? Because some of you guys can probably relate with me on that. Like, you have, you, and I'm going to dive into this, how this may manifest in a broad sense to you guys in fitness. So let me just dive into the pros and cons really quick. The pros, which I look back at my journey and I do love many aspects of the things that I held myself to,

10:01the standards I held myself to, the commitments I held myself to, the intense focus I held myself to, the discipline that I built for myself. I love those aspects because I built that going through that journey for myself, which I know that I probably wouldn't have built it elsewhere. Or maybe I could have, but this was just something that I was put to the test with and I challenged myself with. And so throughout my journey, I knew that I had a goal. So I kept that commitment to the goal, right? Like, it all, it surmounted in all or nothing mindset, but I still kept my commitment to that goal.

10:36I held myself to very high standards. I had intense focus throughout that entire journey where it was like tunnel vision to this one day that I had committed myself to. I can easily pull those things that I did there and apply it to my life now and how I do it in work and how I do it in some of my training, which is way more flexible to this day. But like, I still have these standards and expectations and commitments for myself. And, you know, when I, when I commit to something and I say, I'm going to do something, I do have this intense focus.

11:10However, there's so much more leeway for myself in the balanced approach that I have now. Nowadays, I'm going to share that when I get down to like the solution aspect of things. But I really am proud of myself for those goals, those pros of this all or nothing mindset that I did create for myself because they trickle effect into like every aspect of my life. The cons, which I kind of already touched on is the lack of flexibility. Like there's just an immense increased stress. There's the potential for burnout. Guys, I remember at one point in my journey, I was maybe like six weeks, eight weeks out of my show.

11:43And I remember I was on the laying hamstring curl doing my workout and my mom is upstairs running on the treadmill and I see her come down the stairs. I see her walking towards me and I just start freaking bawling my eyes out. I'm like, this is so freaking hard, mom. And like, it was like a comfortability of like seeing somebody that I knew and knowing that she's like my safe space and I could be vulnerable with her in the moment. And like, I just lost it. I just started bawling.

12:13I'm like, this is, this is, and I like, I was just so stuck in that. Like I wouldn't allow myself to have flexibility. I wouldn't allow myself when I need a rest to have rest, which I'm going to talk about in a second. I wouldn't allow myself to deviate from the plan. So much so, like I said, like every set, every rep, everything, everything to a T was completely done to the plan. And yeah, that happened. I had burnout. Like I looked at her and I just started bawling. And then there was, you know, there's just always with that, there's a high risk of quitting when you have those minor setbacks.

12:45That didn't happen. But a lot of people may experience that with this type of mentality that if you have a setback, you quit. Right. And I'm going to talk about that with like the all in trend diets, the quick fixes. Like if you deviate from that plan, you end up quitting. And it's just like a day or two that you deviated from a plan. Right. So those are the pros and the cons of this all or nothing mentality. And I do, you know, appreciate the pros. But like there are the cons that come with it. There's so much increased stress to having to do this plan 110%.

13:21And then like throughout, you know, I'm going to talk about this with social life. But like my social life in that first seven months, like was trying to figure out like my friends are here, but they live this lifestyle. And like I want to live this lifestyle, but they don't align with that. And so like I need to like distance myself from that because if I do that, then I'm all out of my goals and I'm not staying true to myself. And, you know, then they're drinking and then I can't drink because I can't have alcohol in this time. You guys like reflecting upon this and like I really hope that this because I'm going to get down to like, you know, the solutions and how I experience just total sustainability in my in my just whole lifestyle now.

14:03But like, you know, I this resonates with you know that there's like the other side. There is the other side of this all or nothing mentality and you can truly like live a balanced approach and in like, you know, allow yourself to mess up, learn from the mess up and then like just continue on because it's like if you're consistent majority of the time, which allows for errors, then you will still get to the goals that you want. OK, you just need to be consistent majority of the time.

14:34You don't need to be perfect. OK, perfect and consistency are two different things. You just need to stay consistent. And then if you're doing that majority of the time and all of the actions that you take are the actions towards your future self, you will get the results that you want. OK, hey, hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you guys are enjoying it and there's so much more to come with it. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons. And also it would help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages, too.

15:07Now, that's a little bit of my story mixed in with like what I experienced. I want to talk a little bit about like how this may manifest for you inside of your fitness routine. So one being a fitness routine, following a rigid exercise plan. So if you if you feel compelled to follow a strict workout schedule without allowing yourself for rest of recovery days, this can deem you to if you miss that, if you miss a day, then you feel like the whole workout routine is ruined, which can lead you to giving up entirely.

15:44Right. So you probably maybe have experienced that. For my first seven months, I followed it to a T every single day and I didn't miss a day. And then coming out of that, the following weeks after my show where where I tried to play around with not doing it perfectly, I experienced like who like who am I? This is not who I am. Like I follow everything to a T. You know, I have to get into my workout seven days, six days a week, even following post show. I'm not even competing. And, you know, sometimes people may when they first sign up for something feeling like they have to go all or nothing, but like, hey, life's going to happen.

16:20And so I'm going to mix the solutions in with this. So the way you can do that is making sure like when I was on my journey and working out six to seven days a week, you better bet that there was so many days inside of that routine that I was so tired and I had no energy to work out. But because I had this all or nothing mentality at the beginning, I didn't highlight the importance of rest days or listening to my body and allowing myself to have a flexible routine, which is exactly what I do now. So knowing that like when you sign up for a new workout routine, right, you do not have to follow it strictly.

16:58Better yet, I would always highly recommend that you can't go from zero to 100. So like if you go from zero workouts in a week to six days a week working out, you are likely to fail at doing that. You're setting yourself up from failure at that point. You need to be honest with yourself at starting your fitness journey and going from zero to like two days a week. And then after two weeks of doing that, you'll realize, OK, I'm getting into a solid routine. I'm building new habits like I'm showing up for myself two out of the seven days of the week working out.

17:29Now I can add on a day. And so it's a gradual build up rather than like a zero to 100 moment. And then knowing when you get to like a four day workout routine, which is exactly what I do now, knowing that the three out of the, you know, seven days of the week that you're supposed to take rest days, you actually take the rest days. And, you know, not feeling like you have to show up every single day of the week, which a lot of people are like, how do I get, you know, rest days? How do I get OK with rest days? It's like you have to take them and you have to follow through on that action for yourself and like get your body used to you actually doing it.

18:06And it could be an active rest day can be that you're getting, you know, your steps in or you're going for a hike or you're going for a walk outside or you're doing like active recovery, like stretching. Those can be things that you incorporate. And if you're somebody that cannot totally adapt to a, you know, rest like a full on rest day. OK, but that is how you get more of a balanced approach for yourself and allow more flexibility into your routine rather than going from one zero to 100 and then feeling like you have to follow everything to a T every single week of the year.

18:39You don't need to do that. And when I say that, meaning you have to follow a plan you sign up for, but like life will happen. You will get sick. You will travel all of the things. And so maybe, you know, five, seven weeks out of the year, you don't follow the routine to a T, maybe even more than that. It's OK, because the other 47 days of the week, 40, 45 days of the week, you're still or 45 days of the year. You're still consistent. So you're consistent majority of the time. OK, and you're still winning at that point.

19:10Right. Do that math, whatever that is. Percentage wise, you're still winning at that point. You're still going to get to the goals that you want. So like accepting this for yourself is a big thing that you must do. Rather than going all or nothing, zero to 100 and killing yourself in the first four weeks of you starting a new workout routine, you're destined to give up at that point. Another one is extreme dieting. So a lot of people feel like, OK, they aren't happy with where they're at and what they're experiencing with their body. And their self-confidence and just feeling like blah and like they have no low energy and they're like, I must eat healthy.

19:46And so they go from zero to 100 to following strict diet, clean eating, no room from deviation. And if you indulge in a treat in your first two weeks, you may feel like you have failed. And this is going to lead to an unhealthy cycle of restricting foods and binging. So if that is you, all or nothing, you are here and you go zero to 100 in your first two weeks. Yes, you may feel like you because you're not going to be it's you're not going to be able to keep up with that.

20:17It's like, OK, same thing with the concept of working out. I am not eating healthy. So I'm going to focus on at least maybe three out of the seven days of the week. I start to eat better and I make better food choices. And you do that for two to three weeks. And it's like, OK, I add on another day and add on another day. That is you building habits. That is how you create. And then and then most importantly, while you're doing that, you still allow yourself to have the foods that you enjoy. This is why I love macronutrients, tracking macronutrients, understanding the macronutrient world.

20:52It is not another diet is a skill set that will serve you for the rest of your life. And because I track macronutrients, I am able to keep the foods I love into my routine, which allows me to have a more sustainable eating habit, sustainable eating routine. So from bodybuilding all or nothing, right? Mentality three years eating egg whites, chicken and broccoli, ground beef and rice, tilapia and cod, vegetables. OK, going from that to like the pain that I felt in that experience of like this sucks.

21:26I hate this food. It felt like chocolate points. I was eating it cold at points. Actually, majority of the time I was eating it cold. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle

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22:31Dude, like it just gives me chills thinking about that. But like also I'm grateful for the experience because I can speak to it now. But like at one point I was like, dude, this cannot be the way. And I need to figure out a way that is more sustainable and realistic to my lifestyle. Because I love food. I love treats. I love sweets. So like how I know that there's people that can do that and live sustainably and still get results they want. So how do they do that? And that is how I found macronutrients.

23:02Until this day, this is the scientifically most proven method to help you to live a balanced lifestyle and get the results that you want, eating the foods you enjoy, still getting the body composition, all of the things. Until you prove me wrong, until something comes out, macronutrients is the way. And that is how you can. And look, I hear all the time that that's macronutrients is so hard. It's so time consuming. Yo, it's better than what you're doing right now, right? Okay. Or like what's the worst case scenario to you tracking macros and learning macronutrients?

23:34What's the worst case scenario? Just think about that for a second. There's not many that come to mind other than like the time that it takes to learn this skill set, which is how anything that you learn that's new is going to go down. So that's about the diet extremes, right? And then like not to mention the all-in trends, right? Like jumping into something that's trendy, that's out there, that's like, you know, says you're going to get to X result, but you don't consider their sustainability or potential health impacts, right?

24:11And so once you experience that, and then you end up abandoning them abruptly because of this setback, right? And then you think that it's like, oh, I'm a failure. I have self-doubt. I'm never going to be able to keep that up to anything. So that's in the diet world. Now let's talk about social and self-isolation, because I think it's really important to like with my journey, I was talking about this friend group, right? Like, you know, this is how they live their lifestyle. Like some of them were in the fitness, some of them weren't,

24:41but it was very like low minimal fitness. We're like, I'm on this extreme of bodybuilding and I have to eat this way, I have to train this way and I can't have alcohol. And like, I need to go to bed because I need sleep for recovery. And like, these guys are over here. And then like, I have people worried about me because I'm eating this. I'm not showing up the way that I used to. And like all of these things, okay? Look, it is so if the value of you making gradual changes to your environment that is in support of the goals that you want is very important.

25:12However, like black or white, like, sorry, I can't hang out with you. You guys suck because you live this lifestyle is not recommended. That's all or nothing. These all approaches are very similar in a respect of how you would approach it to make it more sustainable for yourself. Right? So the same way with diet and working out is like, okay, guys, I have this goal. And just being like honest and upfront of like what you're working towards for yourself and how you need to want to shift things for yourself and how you want to like lead a different lifestyle.

25:43It's like, hey, guys, I'm doing this. I can't participate in this. You're going to have people chitter chatter, say all the things. Just keep in mind, most importantly with this bucket is like everybody has their own opinions. Everybody is living their own, you know, through their own limiting stories, their own beliefs. They're all these things like they see you doing things and they're like, but I'm not doing it. So I need to say these things to her. That's going to make her stop because it'll make me more comfortable.

26:13So, okay, so like know that that's all the things that they're saying that are in a negative, in a, you know, a non-supportive way is because they're not doing those things. So you need to like create a bubble around you and just be like, okay, like I recognize that she's saying that because I'm not, she's not doing those things, but it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with her. So I'm going to just kind of keep my distance from that person and still show it for myself in the way that I want to show myself and the goals that I'm going after.

26:46And then as time unfolds, you will recognize who supports you and who doesn't support you. And so, you know, that will take time to unfold first of all. And then sometimes those people just kind of fall away. And then the ones that do support you, you know who your real friends are. And then you know who to surround yourself with. So, you know, a supportive environment can either support your journey or derail your journey. It all comes down to like your perspective on the situation and how you handle the situation

27:17and your awareness of your surroundings, the people that you're surrounding yourself with. And then naturally, you guys, as you embark on your journey, your goals, what you're striving for, like this other side of things, you're going to attract more people that are in alignment with those goals that, you know, you can create new friendships with. It's pretty dope. All right. So that basically, I don't think I have any really much more of how to like feed into the all-nothing mindset. I think I talked on like, I did.

27:48I talked on the diet, I talked on the social situations, I talked on exercise. Like the way that you get to more of a balanced lifestyle, which I lead now and live now, is honestly like recognizing. Like it was only like a year, a year and a half ago that I recognized like, dude, I live this way, but I want this way. So like you just have to take the actionable habits, right? Embed new habits and support the new way of living that you want. So like I knew that this was an all-or-nothing after looking back,

28:21an all-or-nothing mindset. It served its purpose. It was great. I left undefeated in the world of bodybuilding. But like I wanted, I felt a lot of pain in that and I didn't like the cons of what that lifestyle gave me. And I knew that there was a better way because I see people living that way. So it's like then it's just like making these gradual shifts for yourself that are more in alignment with the lifestyle that you want to have. Being okay with rest days is extremely important. Being okay with allowing yourself to have occasional treats, ice cream, you know, donuts, candy.

28:59I have candy. I dug chocolate every single night at the end of my night. Allowing yourself to have those things. It's not going to derail your progress, okay? What's going to derail your progress is continuing into this all-or-nothing mindset. So and then habit forming. You have to form new habits. You have to form habits that are supporting you, right? So it's like you're in an all-or-nothing mindset. Well, take, if you're working backwards from that, it's like allow yourself the two rest days, right? If you're at seven days a week, allow yourself one rest day.

29:31And then reverse of what I said earlier. It's like, okay, so I'm working out seven days a week. I want to incorporate this, you know, the balance. So I'm going to allow myself one active rest day. Then you do that for two weeks. Then you add in another one. And then you add in another one. And you're at four days. And then you occasionally allow yourself, you're following something strictly. It's like, okay, I'm going to allow myself just one day of untracked. And see how that feels. And then recognize it like, oh, snap.

30:02It didn't derail my progress. I still am getting the results that I want. So like, then you're going to allow yourself to incorporate some treats here and there throughout the week. And you're like, oh, snap. And the most important thing, though, is control. You're in the control. So you have the ability to either lean one way or the other. So it's like, if you then, you know, allow yourself a couple of treats, well, don't go down the rabbit hole of like, the whole week is all treats. Because that's an all or nothing mindset. So it's like finding the balance.

30:34Finding the balance of this lifestyle and how it supports you the best, you guys. All right. Man, that was one of my favorite podcasts I recorded so far. I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you did, please, please, please screenshot this. Tag me. Upload it to Instagram. I love seeing the feedback that you guys have with this podcast. And I appreciate you all. I'll see you in the next one. Peace. Real quick. The only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals, and feel insanely confident.

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