From Burnout to Breakthrough with Caleb Campbell

00:00There was something outside of my ability to hold my life together that was actually holding my life together. And that experience has really become the foundation of how I live my life now. It's the reminder that when I feel life is inviting me to walk away from what once was and step into what will be, but I'm in that in-between space, that liminal space where it's really scary and unfamiliar and uncertain, there's this reminder, oh, wait, no, there is something outside of my ability holding my life together if I'm just willing to let go.

00:30What's going on, everybody? Hey, so today I have a pretty cool guest here with us. His name is Caleb, and he is a former West Point graduate, a former NFL athlete, and now is an inspirational speaker helping people navigate life's pressures and transform them into opportunities for growth. And what's really cool is like, we'll dive into his story and his journey from what I know, though.

01:02He was, you know, in the military and professional sports to now personal development and mental resilience, which is incredibly, incredibly powerful. And he's passionate about helping others to redefine success. But like all of that is, it's just interesting to note, hear your story and it's totally not normal. So we're going to dive into that. But Caleb, I'm so excited you're here on the show. Welcome. Thank you for inviting me. I had a chance to go through some of your conversations and I love the space that you have curated here and the conversations that you're engaging in. So I am excited to be here. Oh, thank you so much.

01:32I appreciate that. Of course. So as I was saying, like your journey is not, it's anything but like normal. So you work from West Point to the NFL to, you know, the work that you do now in the personal development space. So can you take us back to like the beginning of your journey and share what led you down this path? Well, it all started one evening. No, not really. No, it actually did. I always, I tell the story from stage. Actually, I tell a story.

02:04I don't know if I've told it in too many podcasts, but I was seven years old when I scored a game winning touchdown in the community wide all star championship football game. Now it's important to know that I'm from Texas. So, you know, this was a big deal. Wait, are you a Dallas fan? I am not actually. Surprisingly, though, that was podcast. Yeah, the first NFL game I ever played in was at the Cowboys stadium. And so a lot of family and friends were able to show up, which was a cool experience. But I scored that touchdown. And I remember I was scanning the sideline.

02:36I was looking for my biggest fan at the time. And you can probably guess who that was. It was my mom. And when my eyes caught my mom's eyes, I remember running as fast as my tired legs could run. And I reached my mother. I had this big smile on my face. And she was looking down at me. And she had this really big smile on her face. And my mom, in this moment, she said something to me that would go on and heavily influence the next two and a half decades of my life. And she said, son, I love you so much. I am so proud of you. You scored the game winning touchdown. And the reason why I say that is because in this innocent moment between an excited son and a very proud mother, there was something in me that was taught to believe that my performance in life determines my measure of acceptance in this world.

03:16And that experience, performance determines acceptance. It was reinforced time and time again throughout my young adult life. Suddenly, my stats were no longer just numbers on a piece of paper. You know, my stats, they were a definition of my worth. And at about the same time, there was this deep fear that began to surface in my life. And it's a fear that probably all of us have been familiar with at some point in time. And that's simply the fear of not being enough. But even at a young age, I had this, it's called like uncanny ability to compartmentalize the fear, perfect this facade so that on the outside looking in, I had it all under control.

03:50But more than that, I was able to source this fear and use it as motivation. And this fear, it fueled this new performance driven mindset that took me from scoring touchdowns in the community all-star championship football game to eventually, you know, being inducted into the Texas High School Football Hall of Fame. I got a Division I college football scholarship to play at West Point. My freshman year as all conference, sophomore year, I had a breakout season, was one of the top collegiate football players in my position across all of college football. My junior year, I had the honor of putting a C on my uniform, which didn't stand for Caleb, which would have been cool.

04:22But it stood for captain of the team. And then my senior year, I found myself arguably where every football player at some point in time in their career dreams about being. And that's in the iconic Radio City Music Hall in New York City, where I was surrounded by 10,000 screaming fans chanting my name. As the commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell, he was walking to a podium to announce to me the screaming fans. And I think it was the 36 million people tuning in from their homes that the Detroit Lions had just selected me in the NFL draft, making me the second player out of the history of West Point to ever be selected.

04:53And the first player that was given the permission to play and serve simultaneously. And I will always remember that moment. But shortly after getting drafted, I was on national television doing an interview with, at the time, ESPN host Trey Wingo. And Trey, he looks at me and he says, Caleb, how does it feel? He goes, you are America's athlete. You're a West Point graduate. You're an Army officer. And now you're an NFL athlete. And I know Trey meant well when he said that, but full transparency, like I heard nothing good in that statement.

05:26What I heard is, Caleb, failure is not an option. Caleb, you've got to have it together all the time. Caleb, don't you dare be weak, right? Because you are now America's athlete. And 36 million people just watched my story unfold on national television. So in this moment, that should have meant everything to me. There is this heaviness of expectations and pressures that suffocated the joy right out of this experience. And there was a part of me that was so already afraid that if you did see, you know, how scared I was, you'd quickly see that I am not who you think that I am.

06:00But I did what I've been doing since I was just a young boy, compartmentalizing the fear, perfecting the facade, putting a big smile on my face and looking at Trey and looking into the camera and saying, I have never been more excited about what's to come, even though that was the furthest thing from my truth. But I really did it because I thought that's what a man is supposed to do. That's what I thought a leader is supposed to do. And as you can imagine, all of this pressure and all of this fear, it began to compound, right? The more that I suppressed it and repressed it, it began to intensify and it began to compound. And that led me down some really deep mental health challenges where I was, you know, behind closed doors, having panic attacks and anxiety attacks on a daily basis.

06:40But as soon as I'd opened up that door, I put that big smile on my face. And from the outside looking in, you saw America's athlete. But behind that polished exterior and the bright smile, again, I was barely holding on. So here I am at the height of my NFL, you know, childhood dream, the height of my success. And I honestly, I can't even enjoy it because I just simply feel like I'm too busy trying to survive it. And that was essentially my experience through the NFL where I wasn't using all of my energy necessarily to get better as much as I was using all of my energy just trying to hold it all together.

07:17And eventually I found myself waking up, not just with tired eyes, but a tired soul. And I realized that the game that I was playing, it was a losing game. Using all of my energy just to perfect the facade, compartmentalizing the fear, like eventually it would catch up with me. And at this time in my life, I didn't have the tools or the awareness to manage that pain healthy in a healthy way. And so I started to cope in really unhealthy ways.

07:49And I remember waking up one night, one morning and looking at my bedside table and just seeing the mixtures of uppers and downers. And knowing that if something doesn't change and change soon, it was only a matter of time before I would be all over the news for the wrong reasons. And that's when I decided to hang up my cleats and to go on this journey. You know, little did I know what I was saying yes to at the time. But to go on this journey to really discover and to figure out who Caleb Campbell is apart from the game.

08:24How can I show up in life with no more pretenses, no more facades, but lean into vulnerability, embody greater authenticity and just show up as my whole, you know, expressed self? Wow. Well, first off, thank you so much for that vulnerability, opening it right out of the gate and telling your story a little bit more. I think that's going to resonate with a lot of people on levels that maybe they didn't even recognize that they were in that same position that you were once in. So thank you. Of course. And that is an incredible journey.

08:54So looking back at what you just shared and packing a little bit more in terms of certain situations, like where do you think that some of the biggest were the biggest defining moments has shaped you to who you are today? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a big question and a good question. I think, well, the early on childhood experience, it played a big role. Ambition is so much a part of who I am today still. It just comes from a different motive. It comes from a different place. You know, I just turned 40 this year and I was telling my wife that I've never felt, you know, more excited about my future.

09:29I've never felt more connected to my life and more hungry for greater success. But the difference is, is I don't need it to be okay. Right. It's like it's coming from a place of wholeness rather than coming from a place of deficit. And so I think that early on childhood experience was definitely a pivotal and profound moment. But then I would say the decision that really was the catalyst to changing all of this was walking away from the NFL. I think there is a measure of growth that we are all invited to experience by pushing through the pain, by holding on a little bit tighter, by enduring and, you know, continuing to move forward at all costs.

10:11There is definitely a invitation to a type of growth that we are invited into through that experience. And then there's a type of growth that we're invited into that is the byproduct of not trying harder, but actually resisting less and learning how to walk away. And, you know, so to paraphrase that, there's always a season of life where growth looks like pushing through. Then there's a season of life where growth looks like walking away. And it wasn't just walking away from a game for me. Right. I was walking away from the way that I found acceptance and belonging in this world since I was just a young boy.

10:45And so this wasn't just a game. This was the the oxygen in my lungs, the blood in my veins. And so this was very much a death, a metaphorical death that I was being invited into. And I would say that that was probably the most profound, impactful, you know, moment that catalyzed a transformation that would go on eventually to renew every facet of my life. And the truth is, like a lot of us, every one of us, we want to experience new life at some point in time.

11:16We're always being invited. Soul, spirit, whatever you want to call, is always inviting us into this next level of expansion, this greater, more fulfilled, more aligned life experience. But the prerequisite of that is first a death of some sort. First, a letting go, a surrendering of some sort. And so this was the first time that I had this head on collision with this metaphorical death that would be the catalyst that would allow me to step into a new life that I'd always dreamed about just in a way I never imagined.

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12:28Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right. Let's get back to the show. Wow. So I can resonate with you a lot on that because it's a bit of your identity that was tied up in the NFL, right? And metaphorically, like had a depth to that identity.

12:59But it allowed you to let go and let, I like to say, like God or a higher power or whatever anybody believes in and let him, you know, exceed your expectations and give you more than what you ever expected. Yeah. The hard part about this, too, is we can't like, you know, take a course on letting go. We can't read a book on letting go. I remember when I was with the Kansas City Chiefs and this was my last and final team. I hope you're okay if I tell this story real quick. Yeah, it just came to my mind. And this was at kind of the height of the tension, like where it was all coming undone.

13:32Like it was just a matter of time before it, I was about to be just, my life was a pressure cooker and I was about to spew out in every wrong way possible. And a few of the guys after a practice invited me to go to a theme park. And I hate theme parks. I did at the time. But I was also really hungry for community. I was really, you know, hungry for friendship. And so I reluctantly said yes. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that I got out of every single ride that scared me.

14:03It was just, what a coincidence. My mom is calling. Now my grandma is calling. You know, I'll go buy the beers. Like every ride that scared me, I got out of it. And I thought I was home free when we were walking out of the back of that theme park. And I swear to you, we were probably 100 feet from the exit getting ready to go dinner. And I hear one of my teammates say like, no, stop. Like we're going to do this. Last one. Let's do this together. And I look to my left and it's the freaking like, you know, they're hoisting you up hundreds of feet in the air. And it's just a free fall.

14:33You're in this bungee jump. You're in this bungee like, you know, harness. And they just drop you. And you got to go with somebody else. And there was six of us. And so we, everybody immediately started like, I'm going to go with Zeke. I'm going to go with Shane. And they're like, okay, Caleb, you're going to go with me. And I'm like, no, I can't do this. And I didn't want to say no, because then my buddy would not be able to go or they would have to go with somebody else. And you ran out of all your outs as well. Ran out of all my outs, right? Like there's no, there's no backing down from this one.

15:03And I kid you not, long story short, I'm now in this harness. My friend Zeke is in this harness and we're hoisted up to the very top. You can see all of Kansas City and it's beautiful up there, but I am paralyzed by fear. And the way this thing worked is there, there was like this contraption up there that was like a stoplight, red, yellow, green. And when it went from red, yellow to green, the person on the inside pulls the cord and you drop. And I was the person on the inside. Well, that thing went red, yellow, green, and I didn't move. I didn't pull the cord. I didn't do any of this.

15:33And I was paralyzed. And my friend Zeke is yelling and he's laughing. And he can't see that I'm actually got tears in my eyes and I'm, I'm legitimately scared. Like I'm, I'm having a full on shutdown mode at the top of this ride. And I'll never forget, you know, Zeke, he looks at me and he sees just like, oh, this is serious. You're not okay. And he grabs me by the arm and he says, Caleb, let's just do this together. Let's take a deep breath. Pull the cord. Let's go home. And it was just this moment of compassion where I was like, okay, I took a breath. I shut my eyes. I pulled the cord and for the first fractions of that second, right?

16:07It was pure fear like that. You know, I felt the fear. And then there was something as we were in that free fall where I never felt more free and I never felt more alive in my life. And I started to hysterically laugh. And from the laughter came this, just a happy cry. I was just like, just releasing all of this built up pressure and all of this built up tension. And I never knew what it was about that moment, but it was single-handedly one of the most life-giving experiences that I had ever had to that date.

16:44And it would take me some time to unpack it years later when I realized that that was my first experience of having what it would feel like if I could just let go in life and allow something outside of my willpower, something outside of my ability to hold my life together. And that was kind of a metaphor for this prophecy that I was being invited to live into. It was an active illustration of pulling the cord, letting go.

17:14And only in the fall did I begin to discover that there was something outside of my ability to hold my life together that was actually holding my life together. And that experience has really become the foundation of how I live my life now. It's the reminder that when I feel life is inviting me to walk away from what once was and step into what will be, but I'm in that in-between space, that liminal space where it's really scary and unfamiliar and uncertain. There's this reminder, oh, wait, no, there is something outside of my ability holding my life together if I'm just willing to let go.

17:49Amen to that. Yeah. Amen to that. That is, again, like I said, I can resonate with you. I'm in the middle of that, of the story that you just said right now. But it's like instead of being overwhelmed and having all the worries and the concerns and thinking what if or what that are trying to control the whole narrative and the outcome. It's like, hey, just let go. And it's already the plans already written for you. Yeah, man. Just follow the steps. What a journey. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing that. That's a cool story. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend.

18:27It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. I want to shift gears to like more of the military still along the professional sports aspect to side as well. But actually, one side note, you mentioned the Chiefs. You were on the Lions. How do you feel about the Eagles winning the Super Bowl? Oh, my God. I was so thrilled to see them win the Super Bowl. I'm a Phillies girl. I'm from Philly.

18:58Awesome. Yeah. I was elated and thrilled. Nobody wants to see the Chiefs win anymore. Go home. You can't be dating Taylor Swift and also winning Super Bowls. I was like, nobody likes the cocky. Yeah. I love that. There was like things on Instagram where it was like the whole country was rooting for the Eagles. Yeah. The Little Center was rooting for the Chiefs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, so you had experiences of both like military and obviously in the NFL, two worlds that really demand like resilience and discipline.

19:30How did those experiences shape your views on personal growth? Yeah. I think that's a great question. I think it actually greatly limited my understanding of growth. And what I mean by that is I think from a military standpoint and a professional athlete standpoint, the growth that is celebrated is the growth that constantly looks like pushing through. The growth that looks like trying harder, the growth that looks like, you know, staying in the game regardless of the cost.

20:03And at some point, I realized that my growth of pushing through was actually resulting in the abandonment of self. And that would go on to undermine my ability to truly flourish in my life. And so the way that I would like to describe this is when you think of the masculine and the feminine, right? This is what creates the whole. Not just the military and professional sports, but our culture at large celebrates the masculine.

20:34Do more. Be more. Achieve more. It looks good on an Instagram meme. It's important. It's really important. It's the way that the world operates. It's the way that our culture operates. Our economy operates. And so there's always this climb of this upper trajectory, right? Here I am. This is where I want to be. Let's, you know, you know, push through the pain. Hold on another day. You know, continue to grow at all costs. And that's the masculine. And it's important. It's necessary.

21:05But then there's the feminine, which is the growth that comes like we talked about. Not by doing more, but by resisting less. Not by striving, but by surrendering. Not by trying harder, but by trying softer. The growth that looks like not by ambition, but stillness. And allowing the stillness to surface the internal shifts, the fear and the grief and the anger and the shame that's hidden and buried behind your pursuit of success.

21:56And I think there's a reason why I would be experiencing the pain point that I know I'm not alone in this. But it felt like no matter how much I did, no matter how much I accomplished, it was never enough. The goalpost to success, the goalpost to happiness, the goalpost to life satisfaction, the sense that it's I can rest in life. It's finally good. Like, I'm good. It's good. Like, that was constantly eluding me.

22:27And it's really because I had only been playing one side of the game. And that's the masculine growth. So it wasn't until I walked away that I began to reacquaint myself and rediscover the other side of the story that would allow the whole picture to begin to emerge. Wow. That's such a great answer. I love that you dove into the masculine and feminine side of things because a lot of people will just live in the masculine and not balance it out with the feminine and then vice versa. So, and that's a very powerful perspective to look at it from that dynamic.

22:59Um, what would you like with speaking of like resilience and staying on that kind of topic, I want to transition a little bit to like burnout because it's something that can affect everyone, whether it's in sports or whether it's in the military or whether it's in everyday life or whether it's in fitness and working out and following the same routine and not seeing the results. So from your experience, what are some of the biggest misconceptions that people have about burnout? Yeah. Another great question. This is why your podcast does so well.

23:29Um, burnout, I want to say is the byproduct of doing too much in your life as much as it's the byproduct of not having the capacity to hold everything in your life. And so burnout is really from my experience, it's not an obstacle in the way. And I think this is the real big misconception. Burnout's not an obstacle to avoid. It's not an obstacle to overcome. It's an invitation to deepen. It's an invitation to expand.

24:00If burnout is knocking on your heart's door, congratulations, soul is inviting you to step into a new measure of growth. The reason why we resist it and fight against it is because again, the growth just looks different. Right. For me, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me is I burned out. I can look back at my life and be like, oh, wow. You were not the enemy. I thought you were like, you were not preventing me. I thought burnout was a thing that was going to prevent me from becoming the man I wanted to become and from creating the life that I wanted to create.

24:32And so I did everything that I could to beat burnout. You know, I would work a little bit harder. I'd hold on a little bit tighter. I'd do all of the mindset activities and all of the affirmation journals and do my best to breathe through the day. And I would try to just prepare this, you know, mental impenetrable mindset that could not be shook no matter what I was facing in life. And I realized I was I was fighting against my own expansion. I was resisting my own expansion. The burnout was here to teach me how to reconnect.

25:04It was here to teach me how to no longer survive my life, but participate with my life. Right. Burnout was giving me an opportunity to, you know, I like to say that, you know, life is a river and the river is already flowing. The river is already moving. But we fail to recognize that. So I spent years of my life pushing the river of my life. I don't know if you know this, but pushing a river does not make the river go faster. And so what I've realized on the other side of burnout, and I've only experienced this because of my burnout, is that, oh, what life is asking of me is no longer to push the river, but to learn how to rest in the river and allow the natural current to flow and move my life forward with greater ease and greater effortlessness.

25:46And this mindset, these paradigm shifts have all happened, not in spite of burnout, but because of my burnout. Yeah. The thing that I took away from you right there was when you experience a burnout, it's a time to go deeper and ask yourselves, what are you experiencing? How are you feeling? And a lot of people's rooted insecurities come from not being enough. And if they're able to sit with the feelings that are arising, it can give them a lot of answers, but a lot of people are not willing to sit. Yes.

26:17That's what I had to ask myself. Is my pursuit of success really about the success or is it more about the avoidance of stillness? Oh, can you unpack that a little bit? Yeah. That's just, that's some juice right there. Yeah. Yeah. I realized, you know, when I walked away from the NFL and I moved to Canada, I had become a janitor of an organization. I slept on a basement floor of a boiler room for the next five years of my life. And every day I changed light bulbs. I cleaned bathrooms. I vacuumed floors and I did it in exchange for free therapy.

26:47And I remember walking into a therapy session one afternoon and I had had it. It was just like, you know, one of those moments I alluded to it earlier. It seemed like no matter what I did or where I went, how much I accomplished, you know, the life that I had was not the life that I wanted. And the distance between the two, it was mirroring back one of two things. Either I had not worked hard enough or had not yet accomplished enough, or there was worse off something intrinsically wrong with me. Either way, I was waking up the type of tired that more sleep doesn't solve.

27:20And I walked into this, uh, this session with my therapist and she asked me a question that would go on and change the trajectory of my life. And she said, Caleb, have you ever considered that you finding the life that you want has less to do with what you accomplished, less to do with like external success and more to do with just your internal wholeness. And this was mind blowing for me at the time. And I was just like, what are you talking about? And I laughed out loud because I thought she was joking. And I realized, wait, no, she's dead serious. I'm laughing alone.

27:51And then I got angry because what I heard is you're telling me all of the success doesn't matter. All of the, you know, the part of my story that I didn't tell is that on the day of my first NFL contract signing, like I'm talking two hours before signing my first NFL contract and starting my rookie season in the NFL. So the United States government flew in a, uh, a person from the department of defense to notify me and the Detroit lions that the conference or the, the, the contract that they implemented that was allowing me to play and serve simultaneously no longer existed.

28:23It had to, it had been rescinded two weeks prior, but nobody notified me or the team and until the day of my contract signing. And I was ordered to return back to active duty immediately. And after serving our country for two, my country for two years and a half years, if I could get a new NFL contract, I can make my way back to the NFL. I don't know if you know this, but getting an NFL contract kind of difficult, not, not to mention being out of the game for two years. However, you know, for the next two and a half years, you know, I had 5.00 AM PT sessions with my unit military training, classroom work in the morning, uh, filled exercises in the afternoon.

28:59And when everybody else went home, I went back to the gym for two and a half hours every night I put in the work so that if the opportunity did land on my lap, once again, I would be ready. And sure enough, two and a half years later, I was the biggest, the fastest, and the strongest I've ever been getting offered a new NFL contract and making my way back to the NFL. And so when my therapist is telling me this, I'm like, wait, you're telling me all of the grit, all of the perseverance, all of the resilience, all of the pushing through the self-doubt, the holding on and holding out. You're telling me none of that matter. All I had to do this entire time to find the life that I'm looking for is to be whole.

29:32Like, what? Like, are you kidding me? And she looked at me and I'll never forget. She had like this. You're very much in your masculine state. Oh, very much, right? Very much. And she says, you know, she has this face full of compassion and I will always remember her eyes looking into my eyes. And she said, Kayla, that's not what I'm saying. She says, success, it's important. Hard work, dedication, resilience, grit. It's all part of the process. But what I am saying is that you'll never be satisfied and proud of the life that you have until you're satisfied and proud of who you are.

30:08Your self-worth. Mind-blowing. Yeah. And I was just like, oh. Like it clicked. It clicked. It clicked. Right. Right. And I had to sit with it and I continued to, we continued to meet about this. And I realized that this next evolution of growth wasn't about a next win. Wasn't about, you know, bigger or better. Wasn't about changing my life externally. It was about going in internally and really sitting with why is this so important to begin with?

30:38Because in my pursuit of success, in my pursuit of personal development, I had lost myself. I had abandoned myself. It was all driven by this idea and this expectation of who I want to be and where I want to be with the refusal to accept who I am, where I am. And so I realized this next tier of growth, this next evolution of expansion that I was being invited to step into, you know, it wasn't about the external success as much as it was about the internal wholeness.

31:08And that's when I realized that my entire pursuit of this idea of life that where I was so convinced that if I could just get there, right, I would find what I'm looking for. It wasn't about football. It wasn't about the goal. It wasn't about the success. It was more driven by the fear of not being enough, the fear of stillness, because in the stillness, I would have to face that I'm not enough as I am today, where I am today. But that was the greatest opportunity for growth. My fullest potential lived in that moment.

31:40And it wasn't until I got still enough to start leaning into the discomfort of that moment that my life began to expand in some of the most unimaginable ways. I love that you went that deep and shared that much right there on that specific topic of avoiding the stillness. I love with this podcast to give some takeaways to the listeners. Yeah. So any way that could be experiencing this type of insecurity and not even recognizing, maybe they're recognizing even more through your words right now. What can they do leaving this podcast to be able to feel more confident to sit in stillness?

32:14Like what were some of your tactics and your tools that you did? Hire a good therapist. Okay. No, no, no. I think this all hinges, you know, when I was in Canada, I started the work that I started was just, you know, your practical CBT cognitive behavior therapy. And then I got into more parts work, you know, like realizing that there are, you know, us as a whole person, there are multiple parts. I've got a performer part. I've got, you know, an addict part. I've got a perfectionist part.

32:45I've got a producer part. I've got all of these different parts. And then I got into a lot of healing around my nervous system and understanding the role of the nervous system and all of this. And I think honestly, while all of these different modalities are necessary and important in their own way, I think parts work is still a very instrumental modality that I engage in today. Understanding and befriending my nervous system has been really the holy grail for me and all of this.

33:16And what I mean by that is to be able to sit in the stillness and be present with what surfaces. What we have to do is we have to have a nervous system's capacity to handle that stillness. And so the question is, is how can I begin to take these tolerable, conscious steps, leaning into the discomfort of my life and recentering myself in the midst of that discomfort so that I can show my nervous system, hey, we're safe.

33:51We've got this. We've got this.

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34:53We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

35:23We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

35:53We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

36:23We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

36:53We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

37:23We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

37:53We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. We've got this. I'm going to be vulnerable. The parts of me that perfectionist and that performer will come online and operate on steroids. I will come online and I will do everything that I can to perfect my rhythms, to perfect my frameworks, to perfect everything apart about my business and double down.

38:23And my performer will come online and I will start hitting the sales meetings as hard as I can because I'm trying to protect that little boy who feels so fragile and it feels so vulnerable. But what that little boy doesn't need is he doesn't need somebody to come around and say, I'm going to take care of this and I'm going to make sure we're set up for life. No, that little boy needs to grow up. That little boy needs to mature. That little boy needs to learn how to feel safe in the midst of all of the tension and all of the uncertainty. And so I will have full conversations with this.

38:55I'll literally not exaggerating. You know, I will put a chair in front of me and I'll put one of my daughter's stuffed animals in that chair and that stuffed animal will be little boy Caleb. And I will have a very frank and vulnerable and, you know, heartfelt conversation. And then I will switch. And what does the little boy want to say to adult Caleb? And this is something that has taken a lot of practice in my life and it's still deeply uncomfortable, but it's been monumentally transformational. You know, and I want to like a lot of people listening to this could think like that.

39:27It sounds like it is hard to do and put yourself in those types of situations and to either sit in meditation and go back to your six year old or for me, it was my seven year old. But it's like I've shared this publicly on my podcast working with an energy healer. And in those situations, being able to go back to that seven year old or six year old is not it's only as hard as you make it right. Being able to like you're explaining and sharing is sitting in the moment and being able to envision that person and what that need what that child needs and the vice versa, how they would respond, which is so cool that you just shared that tactic, which I really appreciate that.

40:02Yeah. Yeah. Real quick. I do want to say that. I don't want to undermine anyone's, you know, trauma in their life. But for somebody out there listening to this that berates themselves and beats themselves up because sitting still and going back to those moments and being with that present with that little boy, little girl is seemingly impossible because of what you experience. Like your pain is valid. Mm hmm. And yes, of course, it's hard.

40:32Of course, going back would be terribly uncomfortable. And yeah, I don't blame you for not wanting to be there. Like, I don't blame you at all. Like I want I don't I couldn't imagine some of the experiences that people have had and to like go back like that just doesn't seem feasible. And so if that is somebody that's listening, like I see you, I honor that pain. And just like it's small, small, small, tolerable steps. And none of this works without self compassion.

41:04None of this works. I don't turn your healing into another performance before you can finally be good enough. Facts. Right. Do not do that. It's this small moments of self compassion every time you show up and every time you just attempt to lean into that discomfort and that vulnerability like you are making progress and that should be celebrated. It's just like what you post on your Instagram, actually. I think it was in the beginning of January where you had a quote or a statement in terms of like whenever you're getting more curious and not and it would non judgmentalness.

41:38Yeah, I got to say that. Thanks for reminding me. I needed to hear that. It's like when those moments arise or if you're ever going to go on this journey of looking back and where you're figuring out where things need to be addressed to happen early on in your life. It's like approach it with curiosity and not. Always like, oh, that's that's interesting that I would respond in that way. Like what's there? What what can I unpack there? Oh, this is interesting that I'm feeling this way. Right. It's the judgment of good or bad that creates the tension.

42:09It really does when you think about it, like our emotional experiences when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I'm feeling afraid. Right. I naturally want to judge it. And then I see that as a reflection of my inadequacy. And what I tell myself is if I was further along in life, I want to be dealing with this. And that doesn't help anyone. It definitely doesn't help me. But when I can say, oh, wow, that's interesting that I'm experiencing this tension or I'm experiencing this fear or this insecurity or the self doubt. What do you have to say? What do you have to say? It's the guest house is Rumi's poem, the guest house.

42:39Right. Like when these very uncomfortable emotions are knocking on your heart's door, invite them in. Give them a seat at the table. Dialogue with them. Listen to them. Hear what they have to say. Right. They might be sharing some wisdom. I love that. This is so good. I appreciate your insight and your knowledge on these topics and more, more importantly, your experience. You know, you've been, you've been through it and sharing this on the other side is, is really cool. I want to talk about like the topic, continue to topic, talk about the topic of growth.

43:12Lasting change is something that, um, a lot of people struggle with. And in your experience, like, what would you say separates those from who sustained transformation? Like you're living through your experiences in a different mindset from those who like, I think about like commitment checks along the way. Like God will throw like a commitment check or higher power with or like a commitment check at you. Do you want this real transformation? Do you want this like higher self that you're working towards? And some people will revert back to like their old habits or like their old identity or their old self or their own, their, their securities will take on them more than them working through them.

43:51Yeah. In your experience, like what separates those who sustain the transformation from those who do revert back to their old habits? Yeah, I think I, I, I, I, I hear the heartbeat behind your question. And I think the answer is those who are willing just to keep an open heart through it all. Like, even if you're reverting back, I'm here to tell you it's okay. Maybe some people that are really, you know, David Goggins type, you know, growth, Jocko growth oriented folks.

44:21Jocko. Like, like, you know, that, that, that growth, it's like, you know, it's all about, you know, like measurable growth, but you know what? Reverting back to your old identity, reverting back to your old habits, and then recognizing that you reverted back. Congratulations. That's growth because at one point you revert back and you didn't really recognize it. That's so good. I love that. And so great. It doesn't look like the way you expected it to, but throw out that damn map and realize what is, and this is my motto. What is, is your greatest teacher.

44:53And so if you are reverting back, that is what it is. That's your teacher. So keep an open heart. If you are leaning into this next evolution of growth and you are very aware that you're not where you used to be and you're stepping over this threshold into something new and there's something new that's starting to mirror back to you. Great. That is your teacher. So wherever you are in life, life has a billion and one ways to get you to where you are going. Our job is to keep an open heart through it all. If you can keep an open heart, yeah, get frustrated, get angry, slam the door, give up on yourself.

45:26But tomorrow when the sun rises and you hear the birds chirping because spring is on the horizon, like no new life is here. Like just keep an open heart. And I think the real big, the thing I would say along with that is acceptance. There's this willingness to accept what is as your greatest teacher. Don't fight against it. Don't cling to the ideas of where you think you're supposed to be or what you think growth should look like for you. Accept what is.

45:57That is your greatest teacher. If you're willing to accept. And a lot of people are willing, afraid to accept because it looks like resignation. It looks like weakness. It looks like giving up. But acceptance is the greatest demonstration of faith. I'm accepting who I am, where I am. And I feel like this was probably the, you know, going back to your question early on about these profound moments of growth and what changed everything is when I was living in Los Angeles. I had a moment where on June 3rd, I actually have a tattoo in 2019.

46:27I'm, I'm, I'm sitting, you know, on the beach. And it was the first time in my life that I realized that the growth that I'm being invited into wasn't trying to build this big personal brand, which I was after the growth I was being invited into was learning how to accept where I am and who I am. And at first I thought that that was like me waving the white flag and I was giving up. But what I've realized is that it was through this experience of acceptance that I was able to befriend and face the fear of never seeing what I wanted to see in my life.

47:04And as a result, I experienced unparalleled growth through acceptance. Through acceptance, that acceptance was the greatest demonstration of faith in my life, therefore the greatest opportunity for transformation. So what is, is your greatest teacher, accept who you are and where you are, and you'll be surprised on how life unfolds for you. I love that. I want to pull out what you said about, um, like, like you had all of these performances and like you were showing up and you had confidence and the skills and you were, you were self-confident, right?

47:37But the thing that wasn't getting the attention was the self-worth. Have you read that book by Jamie, uh, Kerma or Lima called Worthy? I have not. No. It's what you're explaining. It's so good. Highly recommend. She wrote it first. Okay. I'll check it out. Yeah. It's so good. She talks about the difference of self-confidence and self-worth. Like you, as a performer and like, that was your, that you saw out your worth through stats as you were explaining and right. You gained self-confidence. You knew you had skill sets. You knew you had specific characteristics and traits, but at the end of the day, stuff doesn't matter.

48:09Like your therapist was telling you what matters is the self-worth and who you are and your values. And this is why the healing journey is so necessary because I, the motto in our house, um, is we're held. We're held like something again, we're held. And the reason why I can say that is because the healing journey has been this downward descent. It's been the letting go. It's been the surrendering. It's been the accepting what is it's, it's giving up all of the ways that I think my life is going to change or where I want my life to be.

48:43And just being present with what is you start to go through life and you realize, again, I alluded to it earlier. Like there is something that is holding my life together and I can trust that. I can't read that. I can't learn that, but I can trust that because I lived into it. And there is a confidence that emerges from that felt experience. It's called the kinesthetic knowing. And what that is, is it's the first knowing that we are introduced into where it's happening in the womb.

49:15When we are in the womb, biologically, we are being reminded. We are being told, I should say, that there is something outside of us that is providing life, that is holding us. That is the source of our beingness, right? There is something outside of us that is holding it all together. When we're born into this world, we are separated from this kinesthetic knowing, but our body remembers it. And that's what we ache for. We long for this reintroduction to this knowing that is biologically embedded in us from the time we are in the womb.

49:49And that's why the deepening and the letting go and the feminine and the healing journey is so important because it's a reintroduction to what we once knew, but had been lost and buried under the weight of life. And I say that because think about this. What would you not try? What would you not do? What chances would you not take if you knew, if you truly knew that your life was being held by something greater than you? Just let that sit with everyone for a second.

50:21Wow. This has been a very, very powerful conversation, Caleb. And I just want to thank you for your time being here with us. Before we wrap up, I want to know if there's any specific one key lesson or piece of advice that you'd want the listeners to take away from your journey. And what would that be? Are you familiar with the poet David White? No. Actually, no. We're not going to quote David White. We'll quote Rilke.

50:52We'll quote Rilke. And Rilke says, if you could just trust the heaviness of your life, then you too could rise up rooted like trees. Oh. And I think what I would love for people to walk away with is to trust the heaviness. The heaviness is not something that needs to be escaped, transcended, you know, grown out of. The heaviness is the gift. The heaviness, if you're willing to be friended and to trust it, it is deepening you. It is rooting you and you too will rise up rooted like a tree.

51:24I love that so much. Thank you so much for being here and joining us today. Thank you. And sharing your wisdom, sharing your perspective, sharing your journey and your stories. I think it's so profound when someone's walked the walk already. It gives and somebody else may be back at like page three to your page like 100. They are they can feel inspired that, hey, if Caleb did it, then I can do it, too. And I feel like a lot of your words, even though this is a very like feminine, heavy listening group.

51:56Ladies, like if you're listening to this, like it's awesome. I'm taking it in as like I can. A lot of your words and perspectives can totally be flipped to the female perspective. Absolutely. I love that. So, yeah, guys, thank you and thank you listeners for being here. Appreciate you guys tuning in. But Caleb, thank you for being here and sharing your story. Appreciate your time. Thank you for having me. Hey, you guys, really quick as we wrap up this episode. First of all, I hope that you guys gained so much value from listening to Caleb's story and his perspectives.

52:28So many of his insights were so powerful, so much so that I personally forgot to ask him at the end of the episode where we could follow him on social media and absorb more of his content. And also if you guys were interested in the programs that he has to offer. So if you all want to go follow him and look at his programs, the links are in the description. But I'll also say here for you guys right now on Instagram, you guys can find him at Caleb underscore Campbell and his website that has the programs that he offers, which includes one-on-one or even a day of coaching or even group work.

53:07If you guys go to www.calebcampbell.me forward slash deepening. This is where you guys can find him and follow him and just be immersed in even more of his content. I hope you guys enjoyed that episode and I'll see you guys in the next one.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.