How To Break Up with the 'Dieter' Version of You

00:00What I've heard so many times, like one of the biggest fears that comes up when women stop dieting is if I'm not actively trying to lose weight, won't I just gain a bunch of weight and lose all control? That fear is so real, but it's also rooted in the belief that restriction equals control. But restriction isn't control. Restriction is you being in survival mode. Restriction is fear-based.

00:30Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I'm your host, Nikkie Stott. And welcome to today's episode, my friends, episode number 283. And today's episode, this one's going to hit deep because we're not just going to talk about macros.

01:06We're not going to talk about workouts. We're not going to talk about hormones. We're not going to talk about what's the split you should be doing with your macros or your training or how much rest should you be taking or, you know, the things that sometimes these episodes can dive into, right? I love talking about all that kind of stuff. But you guys know that I also love talking about the mindset. And I love sharing with you guys insights that will hopefully light off light bulbs in your mind as we go through the episode

01:36that will make you guys focus in on the identity of becoming who you want to become through fitness and through health. So today I want to talk about identity. And specifically what I want to talk about is what happens when you stop dieting, like, like really stop dieting, like not just like take a break. We're like, you know, maybe you were a New Year's resolution or you had this these goals, you started this new diet and then summer hit and you're taking a break for a couple of months

02:13and then you're going to get right back to jumping onto another diet. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like really stop dieting. And like you truly shift away from constantly chasing weight loss, from obsessing over the scale or like tying your self-worth to your body size. Like you truly shift away from that because that's because what I've seen after working with thousands of women, when you stop dieting, you don't just change how you eat.

02:49You change literally who you are down to your core. And I'll be the first one to tell you because I've seen it in so many women that that shift can feel scary as hell. It can feel like you're losing a part of yourself and it can feel like, like you're like you can leave you wondering, like, if I'm not trying to lose weight, then who am I? If I'm constantly not waking up every day thinking about how I need to lose weight or trying to lose weight this week or this month or this hour, then who am I?

03:26So I want to unpack that with you guys in today's episode. I want to talk about like why the identity of the woman who's always trying to lose weight is so hard to let go of. What like emotional and psychological shifts happen when you do just stop dieting, like specifically like stopping the dieting. And then I want to dive into and unpack like why it's normal to feel lost, why it's normal to feel disconnected or even like afraid when you are going through this phase of truly stepping away from the person that's constantly chasing these things.

04:05And then how to rebuild a new identity that's rooted in freedom, that's rooted in strength, that's rooted in self-trust, not just in this constant living of restriction. And this one's like this one's about going from always chasing fat loss to becoming the woman who's who knows that she's in control no matter what season she's in. So that's what I'm hoping that you guys gain from this episode today because I want to just like let's start off by just being honest.

04:40For a lot of women, dieting isn't just something that you do. It literally becomes who you are. Like I said, it's like you think about waking up today and how you're going to focus on eating less or I need to get to the gym because I need to train more. Or you're the one who's always like you're trying to be always good, right? You skip dessert. You eat the salad with dressing on the side. Maybe you say like, I can't I'm on a plan when someone offers you like a drink or an appetizer or like you bond with other women by by talking about how bloated you feel or how bad you feel when you're on when you're out like maybe at lunch or you're conversating with coworkers or when you're on vacation.

05:26With friends like you're maybe you're known as like the one constantly trying to be healthy. You're known as constantly the one trying to be the disciplined one, the one who's always trying to lose 10 pounds or trying to lose weight. And you've probably been this woman for years. Years. It's not just something that you do dieting. It's literally who you are. Maybe even decades. That you've been this type of woman.

05:57Now think about that, because if you spent 10, 20, maybe even 30 years of your life playing the role of the woman who's always constantly trying to lose weight, then suddenly you decide not to diet. Dude, that's not just like a lifestyle change. And I want to know that I see you guys in this moment, the ones that do want to stop this constant yo-yoing, this constant hamster wheel of being on the next diet, diet after diet, constantly trying to lose weight.

06:27And I know you want to stop. And I see you in the fact that this isn't just a lifestyle change. This is literally some type of identity crisis beneath it all. And it's truly one like, like who talks about this in the industry? Who prepares you for this? Who lets you know that like, yeah, I see you in all the years that you've been this constant dieter. And I hear you when you say that you want to stop dieting.

06:58But I'm also going to walk hand in hand with you as we change this identity to be more supportive for you. What I've heard so many times, like one of the biggest fears that comes up when women stop dieting is if I'm not actively trying to lose weight, won't I just gain a bunch of weight and lose all control? And that fear, you guys, like think about it. Like if you're somebody that's like, if I'm not actively dieting, then first of all, who am I? And then if I'm not actively focusing on trying to eat less, won't I'm going to just spiral and I'm going to eat whatever and I'm going to gain a bunch of weight back and I'm going to lose all control.

07:37And it's going to go on for week after week after week after week. That fear is so real. But it's also rooted in the belief that restriction equals control. But restriction isn't control. Restriction is you being in survival mode. Restriction is fear based. It's rooted. Restriction is rooted in punishment and shame.

08:10And the belief that your worth depends on what that scale tells you or your body size or what who you look like in the mirror. What you actually want from this, like the opposite of restriction. Is self-trust. It's the ability to listen to your body, to feel it properly, to take care of it and to know that your habits will support the outcome that you want without micromanaging every single bite that you put into your mouth. Or thinking about every single day.

08:42What how am I going to lose weight by what I choose to eat today? But when you spent years, years tying your success to how little you eat, how hard you work out and and how small the number on the scale needs to get. It makes sense that like letting go of that structure feels absolutely freaking terrifying. Because to you. Living in that for years, that felt safe to you.

09:15It felt productive. It gave you this sense of identity, even if it was rooted in lack. Even though it was rooted in restriction. Even though it was rooted in punishment and shame and this belief that this number equals my worth. It gave you some type of protection. And I get that. So when you walk away from it, you don't just lose like this, this focus on a calorie target or you don't just lose like how many days you have to work out.

09:46You lose what felt like part of your identity. And that could feel like you are jumping off of the side of a cliff just free falling. So I want to like talk about that emotional side of the shift because it is so real. And like I said earlier, I see you. We see you. Like the coaches behind the scenes of Warrior Babe. Like these topics that I come up with on this on these podcasts is because of the conversations that I see behind the scenes happening.

10:17And how coaches have worked through with their babes on the inside to get to one, this realization. And letting women know that you're seen when you're trying to shift out of like we see like we know you spent years doing this. And we hear you want to change. And literally the coaches are walking hand in hand trying to find a solution together with you so that you can have this shift. So to dive into like the emotional side of the shift because it's so real.

10:47When you stop dieting, there is like this weird phase that happens. And I would almost call it like there's like what detox is out there, seven day detox, whatever, like a sugar detox, 21 day fix. This is almost like when you're shifting out of the stopping the dieting and into this weird phase of what is happening in the in between. It's an emotional detox. It's that space where you no longer micromanage your food. But you haven't quite built like this new habit yet.

11:18You feel like you're in this like limbo period. And this limbo period can bring up so many emotions and so many feelings. Like you having guilt after eating something that is off of your plan. Or the anxiety when like you're not in control of the food. Maybe when you go out to eat with your friends and you're not truly in control of the food, but you're trying to not be a dieter. And you're in this weird limbo like I haven't yet built this new habit where I can self-trust myself in this situation to make the right choices.

11:53You have the fear of gaining the weight because you're letting go of micromanaging all of the things that put you in control. And now you're in this limbo period of trying to trust yourself, but you have this fear of gaining weight. These feelings, these emotions are so freaking valid. There may be even a feeling of like you lose confidence because what you thought was like the healthy you, the disciplined you, the one that's always trying to be good.

12:25You're losing confidence because your old discipline was that identity. And you're now like in this like, like I said, limbo field of trying to figure out what this new confidence looks like by having self-trust. Or maybe a feeling comes up when you're out with friends or you're at some type of co-working event or you're with family and other women in your circle are talking about dieting and you're not anymore.

12:56And so there's this comparison of like, like this, like it's almost like a pool. Like you're, you're getting, you're pulled in to these emotions and feelings of an old you, but you're in this limbo period of like self-trust. And I want to, I want to get out of this world of dieting and I want to get into this world of freedom. And so it's really freaking weird. It can be an uncomfortable AF. And this, my friends, is where most people quit.

13:26They run back to the diet, not because it was working, but because it was familiar. But if you stay in it, if you feel the feelings and you validate them and you almost give like self-compassion to like this old you that lived for so long that had the self-protection over this way of living. If you like honor it, feel it, validate it, and then keep going. And keep leaning into this new you of who you're becoming of the self-trust that you have this freedom and you don't have to live in this restriction.

14:02That is literally where the magic happens. Because on the other side of that discomfort is the freedom that you are seeking for. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review, or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat, and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me.

14:34If your goal isn't to lose weight anymore, because I don't think that's what a goal should be for women in this new era of trying to understand. It's more about building muscle and building composition to your body and being healthy and being strong for the longevity of your life. That should be your goal. But so many of you guys have had this goal of like, I want to lose weight. If that isn't your goal anymore, then what is? Because that's a big question, right? And this is where you truly get to like reclaim your power by asking yourself, okay, what kind of woman do I want to be?

15:14How do I want to feel my body? Do I want to be strong? Do I want to be energized? Do I want to be powerful? Do I want to have longevity? Do I want, you know, how do I want to feel? Do I want to be confident? And this is going to be a different level of confidence because this confidence that helped you survive for so long is going to be a different type of confidence that's going to help you thrive for a really long time. What do you want to do with your body? Do you want to be able to lift heavy? Do you want to be able to chase your grandkids?

15:45What do I want? What do you want your relationship with food to look like? Do you want to have food freedom? Do you want to have the foods that you enjoy and not feel guilt after eating them? Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you.

16:18At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation.

16:48That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. What do you want to pass down to the next generation of women in your family or even the men of your family? It all starts with you. You literally are the role model that can change the whole generational health of your family. Just let that sink in for a second. This is going from like body obsession to you having body ownership.

17:23It's about saying like, I'm not here to shrink. I'm here to expand. I'm here to take up big spaces. So like in this instance, like I really want you to imagine yourself like walking into the gym, not to like burn off what you ate. Not to like focus on how many calories you burned and then think about, okay, this got me through my breakfast or what I ate this morning for lunch or whatever. I want you to walk into the gym to focus on getting strong, to focus on challenging yourself, to build yourself.

17:55Like that's the shift. You're no longer the woman who punishes herself. You're no longer the woman who guilts herself or shames herself. You're the woman who shows up with purpose. Shows up that you trust yourself in this moment that you are, and it may not feel like it right now, creating new habits that are going to serve you in a way that you trust yourself in a different type of confidence. And you have body ownership where you take a different type of like control that is freedom, not restriction.

18:31So you guys know that I love to give like tactical takeaways in the episodes, right? How do you start building this new version of you? And this, I had probably like at least a handful of episodes about who the person you are becoming. And there's, I would say like whatever I've talked about in those episodes can totally like layer into any of the new episodes that come out in the future where I'm talking about this topic. Because I don't think this topic has a number of which I can talk to it on.

19:04You know what I mean? Like this conversation, this topic will come out in so many different ways. So like whatever I've talked about in the past, anchor in these two, these things I'm going to share with you here and like almost be able to build upon it as you continue to create this new identity for yourself. So a few things that I would want you to like anchor into here about how you can start becoming that new version of you is like, one is create a new label for yourself.

19:35Start by saying like, I'm a woman who, it's the affirmations, it's the things that you say over and over and over again. You're a woman who prioritizes strength. You're a woman who prioritizes nourishment. You prioritize longevity. The more you say that, the more that you believe it. You have to say that every single day, every time you wake up, every time you make your breakfast, every time you go to the gym and work out, before you go to bed at night. The more you say this new label is going to take up more space in your mind and not really allow any of the old labels to creep in.

20:14I want you to track different wins. It's not about a scale number anymore. How consistent were you this week with your workouts and with you tracking your food? How did you, did you hit your protein target? How many days did you hit your protein target? Did you sleep seven hours? Did you lift heavier than the last time you were in the gym or the last week that you were in the gym? Track different wins. Another thing I would say is you have to surround yourself with women who get it. Like if everyone around you is still chasing quick fixes, it's going to be so easy for you to get pulled back into that type of mindset and environment.

20:57So easy, especially when you're in that fragile limbo period of trying to navigate away from the diet culture that you were chasing. Like it can be so uncomfortable when you're in the limbo period, when you haven't quite built those new habits and in a space where you're no longer like thinking about every single food particle that you're putting into your mouth. And all of the feelings of which I said earlier, the guilt, the anxiety, the fear, the loss of confidence, the comparison, it's going to be, it can be so easy for you to run back into the familiar.

21:37Because that's what you're familiar with. And a lot of people are afraid to be uncomfortable. And most people, that's where you will quit. But if you surround yourself with a community like Warrior Babe, where women are strong, where women are empowered, where women still have these types of feelings, but they're able to open up to a small group that they're with on a biweekly basis. And lean on those women for the empowered reminder of why they joined Warrior Babe.

22:11The long-term focus, like focusing on that aspect of being the new norm. When you're surrounded by that type of women, it's going to be so much easier for you to feel those feelings, have them validated by other women. And then literally in the minute of a call with either your coach or check in with your coach or check in with the community, those feelings are gone. And you're left feeling empowered and reminded of the journey that you're on. It's so important to surround yourself with the right type of women. You're also along the journey when you're creating this new identity, you're going to find yourself celebrating the boring shit.

22:47Like long-term success is built in the mundane, doing things over, the same things over on a daily basis. It's tracking your food even when you don't feel like it. It's lifting when you're not motivated. It's doing the thing when no one's watching. And these things are boring. I remember like back in my day of coaching, and I still hear this with our coaches today. Women are like, I'm just bored with this workout plan. Yeah, celebrate that because that's normal. I'm just bored with like these meals.

23:18Yeah, celebrate that because that's normal. Long-term success is literally built in you doing the same thing over and over and over again. And then a huge part of you with this new identity is you're going to be letting go of the scale as your compass. Like that scale is not your identity. It's not your worth. It's not even like a great indicator of fat loss. You guys know that. You can use this data, but you can't use this direction in your journey moving forward. So those things, let me remind you, you're putting a new label on this new identity.

23:52You're going to be tracking these different wins. You're going to surround yourself with women who get it and who can lift you up and who can validate the feelings that you're feeling because they are totally valid. But also they're going to remind you of where you're going. You're going to celebrate the boring shit. Okay. And then you're going to let go of the scale as your compass. And I want to leave you with this. If you feel like you are lost right now, that is okay. It means that you are evolving. You're not meant to be the same woman forever.

24:25And I'll be the first one to tell you that. You're meant to grow. You're meant to change. You're meant to shift. And that woman that you are becoming, she doesn't obsess over her weight. She doesn't shrink to fit in. She doesn't punish herself with food or with workouts. She fuels herself. She moves with intention. She leads herself with love and with discipline. A different type of discipline of what you used to live in. She knows her worth goes far beyond what she sees as a number on the scale or even what

25:02she sees in the mirror. So if you're like literally like in that in between right now, like that limbo of like, I really want to stop these last, what I've been doing for the last 10, 20, 30 years of dieting and you're in the limbo of where you're stopping the micromanaging, you're allowing new habits to take root and you're no longer doing this dieting game, but you're not yet fully living in your power. Just keep going.

25:32What is happening right now is this new identity is being built. It's being rooted. You're laying these foundations for yourself, for the future you. And you're doing that one choice at a time. You're doing it one day at a time. So know that me cheering you on behind this podcast right now, I'm so damn proud of you for walking this path and that you have, if you're inside the worried baby community, you have thousands of women who are celebrating you behind the scenes. Some of you guys, some of them are praying for you behind the scenes.

26:04Know that you have tons of support. And if you feel like you're going out of the alone right now, you're not. Keep walking this path. Keep choosing you every single day, the future you and know that I'm just fucking proud of you. I'm so proud of you. So my friends, please, if this episode resonated with you guys, take a screenshot of this episode, share it on your story. Tag me at Nikki Stott. Tag at The WarriorBabe Show and tell me like something that really stood out to you in this episode.

26:38What's like one part of your old dieter identity that you're just so ready to leave behind? And then what's maybe something that is of this new identity that you're focused on building? Because I love hearing from you guys. I love hearing how these episodes resonated with you. And this episode, if it hit home, share it with a friend. And if you haven't yet, you've been listening to this, to these episodes for maybe, maybe this is your first one. This is your fifth one. This is your 10th one. You've been listening for a while and you haven't left a review yet.

27:09Please, please, please, please, please, please leave a review review. Because that literally helps this episode get to more and more women who need to hear these things. All right. And if you're fully ready to like step in, even if you're not fully ready, but you're like, I need an ecosystem of women that are going to help support me along the way of you becoming this next version of yourself. Do come join us inside of Warrior Babe. WarriorBabe.com. We've helped thousands of women make this shift. And we're here to just hold your hand and walk with you along the way as well.

27:40All right, you guys, I love you all so much. I'm cheering you on behind the scenes. I'm keeping so many of you guys in my prayers. And let's just keep being great. Keep just keep going. All right. I love you guys. And I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out. Hey, really quick before you go. I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference. Helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence.

28:13It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much. Thank you. Thank you.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.