How to Build a Fit Identity - The Psychology Behind Becoming “That Girl”

00:00We always act in alignment with the type of person that we believe we are. If you're trying to build new habits, if you're trying to get into better behaviors with lifting, with attracting macros, with drinking more water, getting your sleep, but your identity is still tied to that old version of you, guess what? You're going to self-sabotage every single time. What's going on, you guys? Hey, everyone. Welcome to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe.

00:35And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkie Stott, and welcome to today's episode, episode number 246. And today, you guys, I want to dig into something that is way deeper than macros, workouts, or even motivation with you guys. And I really enjoy talking about this topic. I've talked about it a couple of times here and there throughout episodes of the podcast.

01:12But today, I want to talk about your identity. And before you guys shift to the next episode or find another podcast to listen to, hear me out. I think this is really important to dive into and to talk about and to bring some awareness to because if you can get this down, if you know, if you can specifically learn how to build like a fit identity, like a healthy identity, it's truly the mindset shift that separates the women who try to get in shape from those who actually become strong and become confident, become consistent and become unstoppable.

01:54If you can really bring the awareness to this topic here with me today in this episode, I promise, if you hear me, and you follow through on some of the things I'm going to share with you, you should have some light bulbs going off and some different like a powerful perspective that's going to leave you with this podcast and be able to go look at things a little bit differently as you go into your next workout, or you go into eating a next healthier meal or the choices that you even make in the next couple of days, weeks, months, etc.

02:27This is really you like here to help you step into the person that you want to become. And that's how I've talked about it in previous episodes. But what is truly beneath that is being able to shift your identity, right? There's something that I really need you guys to hear and understand. You don't need more motivation. You don't need like to be waiting for the motivation to kick in so that you can feel motivated to wake up in the morning or motivated to eat a healthier meal or feel motivated to get your next workout in.

02:59Like you don't need more of that. It's not what the internet perceives it to be is like you just need more motivation or you need X, Y, and Z. Like what you need is a new identity. And I know that that can be hard to hear or to even grasp. But once you build that, fat loss becomes so much easier. Showing up to your workouts becomes so much more natural. Hitting your nutrition goals or your macros becomes second nature.

03:31Literally, like I can say this is 100% true and honest of shifting your identity because that's who I am today after 10 years of being in the space and being on a fitness journey. I started in 2015. It's 2025 now. It wasn't until I accepted that this is just who I'm going to become and actually stepped into that becoming that all of it became so much easier. It's just who I am. It's just like people know that I'm going to go to the gym today because it's just part of my natural day-to-day routine.

04:04People know that I choose healthy meals over the not going and getting pizza or burgers. It's like, what do you want to eat, Nikki? It's like, oh, let's just opt for something healthy right now. It's just a part of who I am. It just is natural. It's just easy. It's second nature. And I want more than anything because I see this with our Warrior Babes. And if you guys want to go check out some of their success stories on our website, I've been doing like 25 or 30 now over the last couple of months. And I've been interviewing just Warrior Babes on a weekly basis.

04:35And hearing that it's so much more than just macros and workouts. It's truly like it's what's beneath the iceberg. It's who they are now. And they can accept that this is like what they're just going to be used to doing month in and month out and year over year. And now it's bleeding into other people. Once you can really, you know, grasp that it is a part of you becoming and shifting the identity from where you are right now, like something has to change right now. And it's not necessarily it is your behaviors and your habits. It's not just those things.

05:06Like it's to become that woman, you need to embody the habits and the behaviors that are that are of the person that you are working to become of the identity that you are looking to shift. OK, and that's what I want to talk about today. This is going to be a really powerful episode, you guys. So please, like, stay with me. Don't don't skip out. Don't go to the next one. Don't find another episode to listen to. Because if you can really, truly grasp this, it could be game changing. All right. So let's start here. Your identity.

05:36What you believe to be true about yourself is literally the root of all of your habits. So to break that down, if deep down you identify as someone who struggles with consistency or who always falls off after a few weeks or who, you know, tracks their macros Monday through Friday or eats healthy Monday through Friday, but then falls off on the weekends. Or just has excuse after excuse.

06:08If you identify as someone who is those things, guess what your actions are going to reflect. The truth is, like, we always act in alignment with the type of person that we believe we are. So if you're trying to get into. Trying to get into better behaviors with lifting, attracting macros or drinking more water or getting your sleep. But your identity is still tied to that old version of you. Guess what? You're going to self-sabotage every single time.

06:44You'll go a few weeks. You'll go strong. You'll go, like, first week out of the gate. I'm so excited. I'm going to do this. I'm going to show up for my macros and for my workouts and show up for my coach. I'm going to check in. You're going to do it the following week. You're going to follow the week after that. Why do you think so many people have New Year's resolutions and then come April of the new year, the stats go back to normal. The people that show up to go to the gym. You go a few weeks, right? And then you fall off. It is because your identity is still tied to that old version of you, the one that is identifying as someone who struggles with consistency, who always falls off after a couple weeks, who tracks their macros Monday through Friday or tracks their nutrition or has every excuse under the book.

07:25The excuses will go away when you're trying to build something new for a few weeks until your old identity kicks back in. Just let that sink in. Not because you don't know what to do, but because your actions don't match your new identity that you're trying to build yet. Like even those of you that buy into a program, those of you that bought into Warrior Babe and you go ham and you go excited, you're motivated out of the gate and then you fall off. It's not because clearly you know what to do.

07:57You have the plan in front of you, but it's because the actions of which are still in a line to your old identity is what's going to be reflective in your day to day. It doesn't match the new identity that you're trying so hard to build and to become. And that's the work. That's the work, my friends, right there. You're not just here to change your body. You're here to evolve the way that you see yourself.

08:27So if I was to like break this down to practical like explanation, when I first started my journey, it was skinny fat and I was trying every diet under the sun. And I was frustrated and confused and was just going to the gym thinking that I knew what I was doing, but wasn't necessarily following through because I wasn't seeing the results that I wanted to see. And I wanted to see the results fast as many of you guys do too. But that is a part of a knowledge or understanding that I had lacked in and that my identity was just so like that's just what I was used to.

09:01I didn't know the things that I needed to put into my tool belt to be able to change. And so until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of not getting the results that I wanted, even though I was trying all the things that I thought that I was doing right, even though I wasn't doing it right, because I wasn't eating enough because I didn't have the knowledge of nutrition or the knowledge of working out. I needed to create an identity that knew those things, I had the knowledge of those things, I had the information of those things. In the moments of taking on bodybuilding and hiring a coach who had all the knowledge, I can just absorb all of that.

09:32That's where I started to feel like the keys are being like I was unlocking the doors to having the results that I wanted. And then as I was getting more of the results, I was being able to evolve the way that I was seeing myself. And I was being able more to step into the becoming of who I was wanting to become. So let's talk about how like you how to actually start building this like fit identity, right? Like I kind of painted that picture there for you guys. But like, how do you actually start building it? Because becoming like that girl, like the strong one or that woman, like the strong one, the consistent one, the confident one, it's not it's not a magic switch.

10:09It just like, as I was just saying, I wanted it fast. And I wanted it like yesterday is so many of you guys do. It's not a magic switch. It doesn't happen overnight. It is literally. And I feel like I'm reliving this in a new and different way in a along my journey that isn't a fitness and hearing these words is even helping me just in my own way right now and a different chapter, which is crazy. But I just had to share that with you guys. And if you guys this is dropping on Monday. So if you guys do go to my Instagram, actually embarking on a trip tomorrow side note, embarking on a trip tomorrow.

10:45And I haven't shared this and anywhere other than this episode podcast, where I am. This doesn't really have anything to relate with this. So just stay with me here for like a minute. I'm going into a darkness retreat where I literally go into the dark for three, three days, four nights or four nights, three days or whatever it is. And there's no cell phone, no nothing. I'm in a 300 square foot room. And I just get to be with myself.

11:15And I get to learn how to make the daily decisions to shift the identity of the person I'm becoming. That's my next chapter. And I get to hang out with that person and envision these things and be alone with myself and learn about myself. And it's going to be a pretty cool experience. I'm hella nervous, but I'm also very excited. I have to travel all the way to Oregon to do this. It's I'm going to be gone for the whole week because you have to go into an integration period and you go into the darkness for that X amount of time that I said.

11:47And then you have an integration day coming out of it and then you fly home the next day. So anyway, it's you guys can look it up. It's called Sky Cave Retreats. It's pretty cool. But anyway, back to this discussion. I just had to have a moment there. Thanks for sticking with me there. But it's essentially like I'm seeing this in for my next chapter. But for those of you guys are in this just trying to be healthy and trying to be fit. It's like this doesn't happen overnight. It's you making a decision that you're going to step into that strong woman, that consistent woman, that confident woman.

12:18And there's actually three steps that I've learned of how you can like through my own fitness journey of how you can do this in the fitness and the health field for yourself. Number one, you need to start acting as if. Like ask yourself, and I've said this before in the podcast about act as if who you're becoming already. Like what would that strongest, most confident version of me do today, of you do today? Like think about her six months from now or a year from now and she's following the plan consistently.

12:51She's showing up for herself consistently. Like what today right now? Because your old identity is trying to tell you any type of excuses or limiting beliefs or narratives that you have in your brain. That are going to hold you back from making that type of decision that she would make today. So ask yourself, start acting as if, what would the strongest, most confident version of me do today? Would she skip her workout because she's tired? Would she mindlessly snack throughout the day or snack after dinner? Would she let the scale decide her mood?

13:22Speaking of that topic from the last podcast that I just recorded, I hope you all listened to it if you didn't go back to it after this one. Or would she show up? Would she get her workout in? Would she eat with intention? Would she track her macros? Would she learn how to track her macros? Because some of you guys have no idea what those are or even how to track them. Would you seek the understanding of them, the knowledge of them? Would she move her body? Would she trust the process? Start making choices in alignment with the woman that you're becoming.

13:53Think about what she's, think about her already accomplishing some things and what she's done to make those accomplishments happen. That's who you need to start acting as. And you need to make choices in alignment with her, not the one that you're trying to outgrow. Let that one sink in here for a second. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause?

14:23It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore.

14:54Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. Start making choices. I'm going to say to you. Start making choices that are in alignment with the woman that you're becoming, not the one that you're trying to outgrow. Because the one that you're trying to outgrow is going to continue to try and hold you back because she's operating from an old identity.

15:30So you need to think from the new identity and how that woman is showing up. So start acting as if her. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. The next thing is, this one's a big one, and I feel this to my core right now, is you need to start talking to yourself differently.

16:06Like your language matters more than you know. And that is easier said than done. Some of you guys are saying like, I'm trying to eat better. Instead, say, I'm someone who prioritizes nutrition. Or, I need to go to the gym today. Say, I don't skit workouts. That's just who I am. You see how much differently that hits? Like your language matters. I'm trying to eat better. No, no, no, no, no. I'm someone that is prioritizing eating better.

16:38Because it matters to me. It matters to me because it helps me sleep better. It gives me more energy. It stabilizes my mood. Not, I'm trying to eat better. No, that's like a lack. There's a lack there behind those words. You know, the one, I need to go to the gym. I need to go to the gym. It's like a lack. It's like, no, I get to go to the gym. I don't skip workouts. It's just a part of my identity. It's part of who I am. Or, I hope to stay on track this time. You see where there's lack behind those words.

17:11Instead, say, I'm a disciplined individual. I show up no matter what. Like, do you see that your words aren't just descriptions. Like, they're instructions to your brain. Let that sink in. Because there's, the things I was saying, there's lack tied to it. The ones that, where I was rewriting the narrative of someone who prioritizes it. You don't skip workouts. Who I am. I'm disciplined. That's who I am. I show up no matter what. They're instructions to your brain to start rewiring neural pathways for you to think like

17:45the person you're becoming. That's huge. So, watch the way you talk to yourself. And then, the third one that I realized is, you need to stack small wins daily. Like, your identity is built through evidence. So, like, every time you track your food, every time you finish your workout, every time you hit your protein, every time you go to bed a little bit earlier, every time you finish X amount of water throughout the day, you're casting a vote for your new identity.

18:16It's in that book, Atomic Habits. Every vote, or every, like, thing that you do that's different from what you're doing right now is a vote for your future self. I'm totally butchering that. But you get, you get my point, right? Like, it's, you're casting a vote for your new identity every single time that you do something different from what you're doing right now. And that's going to help you build a new identity because you're proving that you can do those things. And that's evidence to trust yourself a little bit more.

18:47So, don't underestimate the power of you showing up for yourself in small ways every single day. Like, you're literally proving to yourself that, that this is who you are. And the more consistent you are, the stronger that belief comes. So, three, those three things. So, acting as if that person that you're trying to become, that you want to become, that you are already. Like, that person's already, she's already accomplished things, okay? So, how can you close the gap of where she is and where you are right now? And that's thinking about the choices that you make that are in alignment with her.

19:21And then speak to yourself in a way that is instructing your brain to operate as she's already operating. Like, give your brain instructions of like, this is who I am. I show up for myself. I don't skip my workouts. I prioritize nutrition. Alcohol is not really a thing anymore for me. I choose to go to bed earlier. Start thinking about that in a different way. Like, watch how you talk to yourself. Watch how you talk to yourself. And then stack these small wins.

19:51Because the power of you showing up every single day is you're showing yourself that you can. You're proving to yourself that you are, that you're becoming this person by doing it through evidence. And then the more that you do it and the more consistent you are, the stronger those beliefs get embedded into you. Because let's be real, like, many of you guys are stuck in a cycle of starting strong and then falling off. Let that sink in. Many of you guys are stuck in the cycle of starting strong, being all in, being super excited,

20:25super motivated. I can't wait to learn macros. I can't wait to get my workouts in. I'm going to go five days a week. I'm going to stay strong through the weekend, the first two weeks. And then you fall off. And here's why. You're trying to build new results while living from an old story. That story probably sounds like I always give up after a month. I'm just not the kind of person who can be fit. I have to be perfect or it's not worth it.

20:56I'm just not motivated to get to the gym. I don't think that I can. Maybe fit is in the cards for me. You're operating from an old identity, from an old story. The moment that you fall off, your old identity is literally engulfing you again. Those stories aren't facts. They are outdated identities. And as long as you keep holding on to them, you will stay stuck.

21:26So here's a shift that I want you guys to do today, leaving this episode and thinking about this from a different perspective. Start rewriting your story right now. What if you became the woman who finishes what she starts, trains like an athlete, like someone who respects herself. Doesn't need to be perfect to be a powerful, unstoppable woman. Because when you change your identity, your actions are going to follow. So tactical takeaways.

21:57As you guys know that I love to just help you guys, you know, be able to take something away from this episode and put it into practice. Some daily practices I would recommend for you guys to reinforce this fit and healthy identity is number one, maybe start waking up in the morning and having a morning identity statement. And I, and before y'all say this is woo-woo shit, look, I hear you. I thought the same thing until I applied this and got through my, because that's an old outdated identity or story or belief that doesn't serve the person that I want to become.

22:30Once I started doing this over and over and over and over and over again, I was actually seeing things through a different lens because my brain was being rewired and the neural pathways were being firing from different outlooks of life. So wake up in the morning and, and right, or just say out loud, like something along the lines of, I am like, I am something. I am a strong, disciplined woman. I honor and love my body. I feel it with intention, giving it the right macronutrients or the right nutrient that it needs.

23:01And I show up even when I don't feel like it. This is who I am. And the most important thing y'all can do is y'all got to say it with your chest every single morning until it just becomes, you'll wake up and you're going to start moving differently. You're going to start acting differently. You're going to start saying things differently. Okay. So start with that statement. And then something that I think is, and I've talked about this before, it's just an absolute game changer is you need to visualize her. You need to see her.

23:32You need to just spend like three to five minutes visualizing that future version of yourself. How does she move? How does she eat? How does she work out? How does she speak to herself? Feel what it's like to be here, right? Be her right now. And then take one action today that's going to align with her, whether that is getting your work out and completing it, whether that's, you know, it's those small wins. It's that evidence. And the more that you do it consistently, the more you're proving to yourself that you can become who you see her as.

24:05And then on a daily basis, man, even what I said a couple minutes ago is you have to celebrate the small wins. End your day writing down one thing that you did that reflected your new identity. I've been recently or was recently and I need to get back to it, but it was, I was meditating at the end of the day and I was in group and I'm not realizing that I need to get back to it. Is I was reflecting on how I showed up that day and how I was showing up in the way that of the person, the woman that I wanted to become.

24:37So I would say write down one or two things that you did that day that reflected this new identity. And this is how you build belief. One vote at a time. One vote at a time. And it could be just as simple as like I spoke to myself differently. I woke up saying my statement today or I spent five minutes visualizing the future self that I wanted to become. I saw how fit she was. I saw how she was speaking to herself. I saw how she gathered herself in the morning to set herself up for success. Right? All of these things. Write them down.

25:08One thing. Two things. Okay? Those three practices, trust me, now believe me later. They will reinforce your identity. 100%. I say that with the utmost confidence because I've done them and I've seen other women do them. And I've seen them come out on the other end six months, eight months to a year later. The more that you do these, the faster things will happen. And I told you guys you're getting somewhere deeper than outside of macros or nutrition or, you know, or workouts or whatever.

25:40This stuff matters. You can't ignore this stuff. And the faster you do this, the faster you're going to see results. Okay? Some things I want you to remember out of this episode. And if you need to go back and re-listen to it, I highly would recommend that you do so that some things maybe didn't resonate today. Maybe they're going to resonate next week or a month from now. But anyway, your identity is not fixed. It is a choice to change. And it's your choice. And you have the choice in your hands to change. It's built in the moments when no one is watching.

26:10It's literally built when no one's watching. It's built in the small wins. It's built in the tough decisions. It's built in the mindset shifts. And the more that you act in alignment with the woman that you want to become, the faster she becomes you. I say that with the utmost confidence. So stop trying. Stop waiting to, like, feel ready. Just start thinking about what the person that you want to become. Because it's, and it's better be different than, it is.

26:43It's different than where you are right now. But I think one of the most important things that even me just speaking this out loud and sharing this episode with you guys is recognizing that you're going to be really excited to make some change. But three weeks afterwards, if you feel like you're falling off, just know to have the self-awareness to remember this episode to be like, damn, Nikki said it's my old identity trying to engulf me again. And it will. And it will try and come back with vengeance because it wants you to stay the same.

27:14It wants you to stay small. It doesn't want you to evolve. Guys, if this episode hit home for you, as even me speaking my own words out to you all, it hit home for me. Please share it with a friend who needs to hear it. All right. And if you're ready to go all in, if you're ready, because this is what we do at Warrior Bay, we take things to the next level that are outside of just macros and workouts. Like the true value comes in the accountability. And when you break down accountability, it's, hey, where are you at in your journey?

27:45And what mindset shifts and narratives do we need to recreate and make new? So if you're ready to go all in on building that next level of yourself inside and out, check out Warrior Bay. Go to warriorbay.com. We're going to give you all the tools. We're going to give you all the support. We're going to give you the structure. But most importantly, we're going to help you embody the identity that creates real lasting change. All right, my friends. I love you all. And I will see you in the next episode. Peace out.

28:15Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it. And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.