How to Date Without Losing Yourself (Or Your Macros)

00:00You are not dating to be liked. You're dating to be seen. You're dating to be respected. You're dating to be met where you're at. Your goals are a reflection of the love and the discipline that you cultivated for yourself. That right person is going to get it. Hey, everyone. What's going on? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe.

00:32And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkie Stott, and welcome to episode number 298. Holy moly. And today, my friends, we're going to dive into something that is very real, very relevant. And honestly, I feel like this one's going to be very, very, very relatable.

01:04It's going to be like a little side subject, but I'm going to bring it home to fitness. So I was asked personally by the coaching team of WarriorBabe to bring this topic to the podcast because many of the WarriorBabes, the Warriors are asking this. Maybe you guys are asking this too as well for me to talk about this on the episode. We're going to talk about dating. Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me because it's going to get so juicy and so good.

01:36But because I'm going to tie it into like how to do that while you're living either of your WarriorBabe, the WarriorBabe lifestyle, or just in general, like a fitness lifestyle. Because, dude, I mean, I think you all know. Personally, like I know because this is me last year. Like dating right now, dating in 2025 is hard. It's hard enough. And then trying to track your macros, trying to train consistently, trying to sleep like a queen, do all your routines before you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning.

02:11And then most importantly, to protect your peace. Yeah, that's hard, right? And it can feel like it's a full-time like mental game. Something that is just so, again, relevant. And I hope this becomes very relatable for you guys, especially those of you who are like newly single or you're in your 20s or in your 30s or in your 40s or in your 50s. Like, right? If you guys are asking, like, how do I stay on track while going on back-to-back dates? Should I say I'm tracking my macros on the first date?

02:43What if I'm just like too intense? What if they don't get it? Like, I'm sure all of those questions, like, how am I going to, you know, spend a devout time to working out but also devout time to dating and finding people that I'm interested in and whatever. Like, if you're in that boat, like, I hear you. I understand you. And I want you to know this. You're not alone. And this is exactly why I am doing this episode, okay? Because it is possible to date while honoring your goals, while honoring your health, you're honoring your fitness goals without turning daily into, like, like a checklist or, like, most importantly, without compromising your own personal values, okay?

03:29So I'm going to dive into, like, the first of this episode talking about really more, like, mindset shifts slightly and then, like, practical strategies you guys can do for, like, dining out and alcohol and, like, social settings. But then the back half of this, like, I want you to be able to remind yourself how to stay true to yourself. Like, emotional reminders that stay rooted in your identity and don't get swept away by, like, people-pleasing. And, like, you know, how to use dating as a mirror, not a measure of your worth. I want to dive into, like, speaking about those and speaking life into you guys.

04:01And then for some of you guys, I may touch a little bit on, like, spiritual truths, but I know, like, not everybody is in their walk, so I'm going to just honor that too as well. But you're going to walk away from this episode, I hope, feeling grounded, feeling empowered, and ready to show up as, like, your full self. Like, no shrinking, no hiding, like, your full self, okay? That's what I hope that you get by the end of this. And know that you're not alone if you're feeling all these feelings, you have these questions or these doubts or whatever.

04:32We're going to get you on track today, okay? So let's get into the mindset aspect of it because before you even swipe right or say yes to going out to dinner or saying yes to a date, you've got to ground yourself in this. And, like, turn this into, like, an affirmation, turn it into, like, something that you repeat nonstop. Or, like, if my words just permeate your soul right now, that should be good enough. But just say these things on repeat. Your standards are not a burden.

05:04Your discipline is not too much. Slight comment to that. You are never too much or too intense for someone. And I'll get to that in a second. Your goals are not inconvenient, okay? And I'm going to say that a little bit louder. Again, you are not too much. This is the thing. We live in a culture that still makes women feel like we should be easygoing. We should be chill.

05:35We should be low maintenance. We should be, like, effortlessly fun. But what happens when you've committed to something bigger? When you said, no, I want to feel amazing in my body. I want to eat foods that energize me. I want to lift heavy weight. And I want to sleep like a baby and show up with confidence. Like, I want to exude confidence. I want to be a light for people, right? And it's not to say, like, you can't intertwine.

06:05And this may get onto the, like, masculine and feminine side of things. And people may die down that rabbit hole. And people, like, you know, will feel like that's a little bit too masculine. The first one's a little bit too easy or too feminine. You can merge the two, guys. I think that I – and I'm going to just give myself a little bit of credit here. And I just say this to empower you not to, like, brag. But I feel like I'm finally finding that balance of how to merge the two of being confident, of being – having that, you know, grit, determination, like, go-getter. I have big dreams and big goals.

06:37And I want to feel good in my body when I feel amazing in my body for myself. But also, I can be chill. And I can be, like, easygoing. And I can be fun, right? You can blend the two things. It doesn't mean that you're difficult. Especially if you are someone that leans on the other side of you are committed to something bigger and better for yourself. That you want to have an amazing body. That you want to fuel your body. And you really pay attention to food. That doesn't mean you're difficult. What it means is that you've done the inner work to know what you need to feel your absolute

07:13best. And that's not a red flag, okay? That is a built-in filter for you. If someone doesn't respect that, good. Now you know. If someone pressures you to change that, mm, ladies, even better. Now you can walk away before you get too attached. Let me remind you that you are not dating to be liked. You're dating to be seen. You're dating to be respected. You're dating to be met where you're at.

07:44Your goals are a reflection of the love and the discipline that you cultivated for yourself. And the right person, that right person is going to get it. They might not track macros. They might not work out. They may not, like, live the fit lifestyle. But they will support you. If they are the right person, they will support you.

08:14Because they respect that you respect yourself. And that you've cultivated this environment for yourself. This discipline for yourself. This love for yourself. It is, like, taking care of yourself is the ultimate highest form of respect. Of love. Of light. Of strength. Right? And if somebody is ever going to, like, demean that, let me remind you, it's not you. It's them. Okay? So, girl, show up with confidence.

08:47Don't show up to perform. You don't need to convince someone to like your lifestyle. You need to live in it. And you need to live in it boldly and unapologetically. Let's dive in a little bit deeper. Let's get, let's talk about the deeper side of this. Because, like, food choices are one thing. Right? But staying you while dating, ladies, that is a whole nother layer. Okay? So, here's what I know to be true. When you're healing, growing, when you're leveling up, dating can feel like a threat to your identity.

09:22You're not who you were. You're not operating from the same old patterns. Right? And yet, when you're nervous, when you want someone to like you, it's easy to fall back into old ways. It's easy to laugh off your boundaries. It's easy to, like, skip meals and start overthinking your body. It's easy to start drinking when you don't want to. Or staying out too late and skipping your morning routine.

09:55It's easy to do those things. Like I said, it's like, you've worked so hard to cultivate this type of love and discipline and environment for yourself. Of respect for yourself. But when you start dating, it's literally like a mirror. And it can be so easy to, like I said, go back into old ways. It's subtle, but it matters. It will play out in the long run if you don't get a grip on it early enough. Okay? Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause?

10:29It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore.

11:00Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit WarriorBabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's WarriorBabe.com forward slash apply. All right. Let's get back to the show. The journey you're on, let me remind you that it's sacred. You worked hard to build the type of discipline that you have. To say no when you need to. To show up for yourself day after day after day.

11:30Don't let like one cute face or one sly like, you know, love bomber, you know, or a few flirty texts like undo that. And here's what I want to speak gently but boldly to you guys. To those of you that are walking in your faith, when you start looking outward for validation, for approval, or for love, you take your eyes off of the one relationship that truly anchors you. The one that anchored you into you showing up for yourself and respecting yourself and taking care of yourself.

12:05That's your relationship with God. Now, this isn't about like being perfect. It's not about like being so adamant about things. But it is about being in alignment. And when you're aligned with God, when you remember that you are already chosen, you are already loved, you are already worthy. You stop chasing crumbs. You stop contorting yourself to being accepted and to looking outwardly for the validation that you already have inside of you.

12:39And you stop settling for situations that just drain you. Instead, you start showing up from like a place of like overflow. A place of like just overly exuberant energy and love and all of these things and not from lack. And that love becomes something that you give, not something that you beg for. You give that to somebody because you have so much in it of you already. I mean, if you are somebody that truly shows up for yourself, that gets the job done, that is consistent, that keeps the promises to yourself,

13:12there's so much love inside of you to do that, to care for yourself, that when you're in a relationship, you will pour that into somebody else, but you're not going to beg it for it. And the second that any of these things start to feel off as I'm saying and as I'm talking to, as I'm preaching on, then it's not the right person. And it's not you. It's them. It's just like that Mel Robbins book. Okay? Let them feel a type of way about how you work out. If they don't get inspired by you, then again, that's not your person.

13:44Okay? If they pressure you to change, that's not your person. If they don't respect what you're doing for yourself, that's not your person. This could be like wives could be listening to this. And maybe there's some people, women of you that are in a complicated relationship and you're married. This is where I would just encourage you. And I'm not a freaking relationship counselor. I'm just hoping that maybe the support helps you. Is sit down and have a conversation with your partner about this is how you're feeling. And if it's not received, just continue to show up for yourself and maybe create like a little bubble and like guard your heart over the things that you want to be doing for yourself to make you feel like your best self.

14:24And just guard that part of your life. And like if they ask about it, share, of course. But only if you feel like it's being well received. Okay? And if you're not like deep in your faith, this truth still applies. Because when you know who you are and you truly honor and you stay true to yourself and like you want to be healthy and you want to work out and like that's just a part of who you're becoming, the game changes. And whose you are. Okay? And some of you will understand what I mean by that.

14:55But you walk into every date knowing like I'm good. I'm good either way. I don't need this validation from someone. I don't need this love from someone. I don't like of course, like if it continues to build and you guys do build on and get into deep, a deeper relationship. That's amazing. That's incredible. That's a, that's something that was sent for you to be a part of. But if it's draining you at the beginning, it's, it's not for you. Just know. So in every date when you're dating and you're, I'm going to keep it to the dating realm.

15:29Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more.

16:03Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. When you are dating, just walk into those conversations, those environments.

16:36Like, I'm going to keep my boundaries. I'm going to say no to drinking alcohol. I'm going to say no to like overindulging in food. And I'm going to say true to myself. They don't respect that. Hey, I'm good either way. Right? Let me reframe the outcome. Not every date will be a fit. Not every conversation will lead somewhere. Not every quote unquote maybe will turn into something real. And hear me when I say that that is okay.

17:07Dating is feedback. I kind of look at dating as like it's an interview style. If you really want to go that route. Some of you will agree with me on that one. Some of you feel like that's a little too intense, masculine. But think about it like that. It's feedback. It's not failure. Every experience, like it gives you more insight. What qualities you value? How grounded you felt? What made you feel seen? What made you feel dismissed? Missed whether you stayed true to your plan or you lost yourself in their energy.

17:39So instead of asking like, did they like me? Ask, did I like how I showed up? That question changes everything, ladies. Because the win isn't about like, it's not always a second date. Like that's not always like, like I know a lot of us get done the dates and we're like, our girlfriends are like, so is there going to be a second date? Like sure, that's something to be excited about. But that's, the win isn't always that. Sometimes the win is like, it's coming home. It's logging your macros.

18:10It's making your tea. And it's saying like, yo, I held the line. Yo, I stayed in integrity with myself. And if you guys are a warrior babe, that's warrior babe energy. It's really both. It can go, it's, it's warrior babe. And it's also the babes that are not babes. That's the type of energy. Like I held the line. I kept my boundaries. I held my standards for myself. And I stayed in integrity with myself. And yo, you can lay your head down at night and you can rest assured that, yo, I'm good.

18:40I'm good either way. And then over time, you're doing the dating scene. You realize like the right person isn't someone you need to perform for. There is someone who walks beside you as you become more of yourself. As you become the best version of yourself. That person should encourage you to be the best form of yourself, which one of the best things you can do for yourself is take care of your health. We don't have our health. What do we have? We have nothing, right? So if that person's not respecting you in this or, or pressuring you to change, uh-uh.

19:16No, my friends, you are good to walk away from that. This is something that I also had to rewire in my mind. Don't take rejection personally. I look at rejection as redirection. Don't let like one flaky person make you doubt your value or doubt you or make you start questioning you. This is all refining you for the person who won't require you to dim your light, okay?

19:47The person that's meant to be with you who will walk alongside you is going to make that light shine so much brighter. I kind of went more into the topic of like what I said that I was going to get to at the end of the beginning because I just was, I felt like I was just on a tangent there and just wanted to continue to finish my thoughts. But what I did want to circle back around is like the strategies for dining out. It's the same warrior babes or babes if you're not babes. It's literally the same that I would approach when you're like going out for an extra meal,

20:19like a treat meal or whatever, whatever you want to call it, like an extra meal in the week. I think that's what we call it nowadays. It's not a cheat meal because I can have negative connotations. But it's like look at the menu ahead of time. Think about what will align, like right? I love getting salmon when I'm out because I know that's high protein, good fats, omega threes, rice, and then the veggies that come along with it. I know that's always a solid choice for me to go for. So look at the menu ahead of time and find that. Not like, because if you don't have a plan going into it, you're more than likely, because you're nervous and you have all these feelings, right?

20:50You're more than likely going to find comfort food. Don't do that. Stay true to yourself. And like I said, the alcoholic shirt, maybe you can have a mocktail, even though those are full of sugar. So let me actually refrain from saying that. Maybe you just say no, right? I had a lot of Diet Cokes at the beginning of my journey, but I also felt, I want you to know that you're not alone if you do fall into like having a couple more drinks than you normally would. That happened to me at the beginning of the relationship. And then I recognized what alcohol was like doing to me mentally and physically.

21:22It wasn't necessarily really, it's not, it wasn't an alignment with me. So I've backtracked a lot from, I went, I just, I was like, this is not, this is not a part of who I, who I am. I don't really drink a lot. Like I'll have a casual drink here and there, but it became like, like some of the things that I was saying, like it became something that was a part of the routine when we were out and I didn't want that. And then, so another thing is like going into the date too, as well, is just remember your

21:52boundaries, remember your standards and make sure that you're grounded in that before you go in to the date. And then remember again, like you're good either way. Like repeat that in your mind. You're good either way. And to never let your standards be a burden or your discipline feel like it's too much or your goals feel like they're just so inconvenient. Like if that's how you're feeling, that's not for you. Okay. So let's just land this with some more truth as we close it out.

22:25I want you to remember that you are not hard to love. Again, you should never feel like you're too much or not enough. You're not extra for tracking food or paying attention to your nutrition or training with intensity or choosing sleep over taking shots on the weekend or on a Thursday night. Like just remember that you are clear. And I'm going to bring this one in because we've been talking about it in every single episode up until this point. You are self-aware. And that is a really important quality to have.

22:57Don't ever lose your self-awareness. And you're intentional. You know who you are at your core. And if you struggle with that, I would love for you to just shoot me a DM on Instagram. I will try to be there and hold space for you because I know there's some of you guys that lean on seeking validation outwardly and not just knowing that you are already enough. You are already everything. And if you are struggling with that, you're not alone. That was me literally last year. Okay. So I understand how you're feeling with that.

23:31And it takes time to be able to truly honor and trust that you are enough as you are right now. And the flaws that we do have, if they aren't accepted by somebody, again, that person's not your person. Side tangent there. But you are allowed to be excited about going to the gym. You're allowed to be excited about eating healthy. You're allowed to feel those ways. But you're not allowed to abandon yourself in the process. So date with wisdom. Date with grace. Date with discipline.

24:01And with like the deep knowing that your worth is already established. You don't need a second date to feel good about yourself. You don't need their approval to feel secure in your goals. You don't need anything more than what you've already done and been given by the one who made you. So breathe, show up, and know that the right one won't be confused by your confidence.

24:33Okay. I hope this one helped you. I hope the request was delivered upon. It's definitely one that's different from coming into a fitness podcast, but definitely intertwined it with the fitness aspect. Okay. So I hope this resonates with you guys. If you're struggling at all, my DMs are open. Please shoot me a DM on Instagram. I love having conversations with you guys and building relationships with you guys. And just know I love you all. I love you guys so much. You've got this. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep the promises to yourself. Keep the standards where they are for yourself. Keep growing.

25:04Keep just continuing to be a light for yourself and for others. Okay. And remember, you're good either way. All right. Love you. Peace out. Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference. Helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey.

25:37Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.