How To Deal With Unsupportive People

00:00Real quick, the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals, and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate, review, and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask for you to do is if you could leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone else. Your surroundings shape your energy, and your surroundings influence your performance dramatically, you guys.

00:31Everything outside you affects the way that you think, feel, and execute. Literally everything. So your personal surroundings include the people that you have conversations with. It includes the people that you follow on social media. It includes the news that you consume, the books that you read, the food that you eat, the place that you live, and so much more. It all works together to either move you forward or hold you back. Who's ready for this topic tonight? Me too. I'm stoked. Because I feel like, right, we all, this is a good part of the challenge tonight, or of the challenge in general.

01:07The ending is always a good part to reassess. Reassess how you showed up. Reassess what may have been external or internal triggers that maybe threw you off track or set you to make excuses to not show up for yourself. And I mean, I know the ones that showed up for themselves, they pushed the pedal on that gas, and they've seen it through the end. But I also want to help you guys who didn't show up and who maybe have fallen off track or maybe can't seem to pick it back up or, you know, maybe whatever it may be that threw you off track.

01:44This is a really good time, okay, to take inventory of what may have did that. And a calming thing, it happens across everything of what you're trying to do, whether it be that you're trying to change your body composition, you're trying to get a hold of your macros, you're trying to get more workouts in, you're trying to eat better. This happens across the board, and, you know, when you're trying to do bigger and better things for yourself, you got the haters around you, right?

02:17You got the people that just don't get what you're doing. And honestly, guys, I remember dealing with that when I first started off my journey. And like I told you guys before, if maybe you've heard me say this, those friends are no longer my friends. Or those people at the beginning of my journey are no longer in my life. And I found more, I found friends, I found more people in my life that support the habits that I want to have for myself and that understand the lifestyle that I lead.

02:50So what I want to talk about tonight is just don't take anything personally. Okay, so whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. And if this is maybe it was an external trigger, your friends, family, close loved ones, aunt, uncles, your neighbor, I don't know. Maybe there was somebody who said something along your journey, it was external trigger. And maybe it didn't throw you completely off track, but maybe it threw you off track one or two days. Or maybe it got under your skin and maybe you were like, well, you know, get out of my bubble.

03:23I'm going to show up still. And I commend you guys for those ones who did that. But it's really hard sometimes to be like, get out of my bubble, especially if they're living in the same household as you. Especially if it's the kiddos. Okay, especially if it's your best friend who you conversate with every single day. And sometimes you fall in the same trap of getting in the conversation with her and agreeing with her. Whoever it may be. Don't take anything personally. Okay. If someone says to you along your journey, I've heard this so many times.

03:54Hey, you won't or you can't accomplish that goal. I want you all to remember that it's not about you. It's about them. If you take it personally, then it's safe to say that you believe that you can't accomplish the goal. And if that's the case, then you're somebody who needs to check in with yourself and understand that you are easily influenced by someone else's opinion.

04:24Right? Because if you believe, if you take it personally and you believe what this person's saying that you can't or won't accomplish that goal. And you believe that you can't. If you're taking it personally and say it to say you believe that you can't accomplish it. And then you got to check in and be like, I know I can. Right? You got to. What matters the most is believing in yourself that you can accomplish it. But nothing other people do or say is because of you.

04:59It's because of themselves. So I want you guys to remember that. I personally either will never accept advice. Don't you love the personal trainers out there? You have some love to them. The personal trainers that try and tell you to eat this way and try and work out. But then they're like, they don't look the part at all. I find a hard time trusting or believing what that person is saying when they don't look it at all. And they're not living the lifestyle.

05:31So that's so true. Don't take advice from anyone who hasn't been on that journey. You want to take advice from the people that have the results that you want. Remember, all people live in their own head. They are completely different. They're in a completely different world from the one that you live in. So when we do take things personally or let other opinions influence us, we make the assumption that they know what is going on in our own minds.

06:05We make the assumption that they know what our goals are. But you've got to understand they have absolutely no idea what is going on in your mind around the goals that you have for yourself. It's sometimes really hard to articulate the way you want to look without showing somebody, obviously, like a Pinterest photo or something like that. Or the way you want to feel. Because that person may not accept it or may not understand it. So you've got to understand, when we do take things personally or let others' opinions influence us, we make the assumption that they know what's going on in our own mind.

06:42We make the assumption that they know what our goals are, but they don't. There's no way that they can possibly know what our goals are other than you explaining it and you trying to tell them what your goals are. But they don't see what you want. Like what you envision in your mind, they don't see that. They don't see the kind of body that you're working towards. Right? I mean, again, you can show them a picture, but like you're the one. A picture's not you. Like you're the one that's imagining and envisioning the goals that you want to accomplish.

07:13They don't feel what you want to accomplish. They don't see what you want. They don't feel what you want to accomplish. And what they say, what they do, and the opinions that they give are according to beliefs that they have in their own mind. Okay? So like if you show them a picture of a goal that you want to accomplish, what they say about that, what they do about that, and the opinions that they give are according to the way that they're thinking and their beliefs that they have around your goal.

07:43So when someone says, hey, you know, you won't or you can't accomplish that goal that you have, what they are really saying is, hey, I won't or I can't accept or accomplish that type of goal that she is going for. But they project it onto you. So by them saying, hey, you won't or hey, you can't, what they're really saying is, hey, I can't, I won't. They're really saying that in their own mind, but they're projecting it outward onto you.

08:15Their point of view comes from all of the programming, all of the beliefs they receive throughout their entire lifetime. Right? So from the beginning of my journey, kind of in relation to what Debbie has said, her mom is jealous of her. She's not supportive. My mom was the same way. When I said that I wanted to compete, my stepmom was like, ew, you want to look like that? I'm like, I think like at the beginning, it was a challenging, it was challenging to go through, you know, losing some friends and then not accepting my journey. One of my friends thought that she was worried about me because of the way that I was eating and the way that I was working out.

08:49And I was like, but now like I understand that like it was truly just coming from their own belief system. And I mean, my stepmom, like God love her. She has a lot of weight to lose. So she was only just projecting that she was like, like it was just too much. You know, what I'm stepping on stage is an extreme type of look. So like I can understand where she's coming from now. But at that point, like it did, like it got to like those, those opinions. Sometimes if you're not strong within yourself or believe that you can accomplish something, those opinions can really get to you and they can be the external trigger that holds you back from doing what you want to do.

09:31Right. So someone gives you the opinion, says like you aren't going to succeed at yet another fitness program. Don't take it personally. Heard that so many times. I've heard like husbands say, really think you can do this one? And like, I love my dad. So you guys know me, my dad, like, and I'll say this to his face too. But sometimes when my stepmom, she got the Peloton for Christmas and my dad friend some type of way about her getting on the bike and like doing the exercises like five days a week. He was like, she's not going to do it.

10:02I'm like, and I even said this. I'm like, you guys stop. I'm like, you got to support her. You got it. You got to show that like you believe that she can do it because she doesn't believe right now that she can't. She's 50 pounds overweight. Like she needs the support system of you. She needs the support system of my brother. She needs the support system of my sister. And like I said that exactly to her. Like granted, now she needs freaking surgery on her foot. But, you know, that's not going to stop her. But you know what I mean? Like you if someone's like says to you or gives you the opinion that you aren't going to succeed at another fitness program, don't take it personally.

10:36Because the truth is that this person or you are dealing with your own feelings, your own beliefs, your own opinions of failure or previous like attempts at following a fitness program. So like my dad's saying that my dad's overweight, too. So he's just saying that because he's projecting his own beliefs. Like he's like, oh, but secretly he wants to be fit. But she's going after it. She's making the change. She's doing what she needs to do. And we know that when my stepmom shows the results and does what she needs to do, my dad will then probably months later.

11:08This always happens. Then they start taking the action. They start eating better. They start. He's going to get his own pair of shoes for the Peloton and get on the bike. Right. So don't take it personally. It's coming from them. It's coming from their own failures or belief systems or previous attempts at following something. Like someone says you're not going to succeed at this because they didn't succeed at a fitness program. Is this making sense so far? Yeah. Oh, my God. That sounds like my mom and dad. Yeah. Seriously.

11:38God, man. The bickering that goes on in that house is sometimes ridiculous around like trying to get back in shape and like supporting one another. And I just want to like bump their two heads together. But, you know, that's what it is. Sarah, that's like sometimes it bothers me that my family says don't overdo it or just be careful. But when I was lazy and not taking care of myself and eating like crap, no one expressed concern. Exactly. It's not wild. I know they are coming from a good place.

12:09But, yeah, seriously. Like, yeah, yeah. When you're lazy and you're not taking care of yourself, you're not eating healthy. Yeah. Nobody expresses concern. Nobody is like, yo, get off your ass. Go work out. Go move your body. Stop eating like shit. That's what people really need to freaking hear. Right. Because that's going to make them change. But when you do make the change, like, just be careful. Don't overdo it. Make sure you're resting. Yada, yada, yada. It's like, yeah. Coming from their insecurities. Exactly. A hundred percent. That's all it is. It's coming from their own belief systems. It's coming from their own insecurities. It's coming from that they actually want to be doing that potentially, too.

12:43They just haven't found their own courage or their own drive to go and accomplish it or go and try it. Right. So, um, this is another thing I've heard. A lot of people say, you know, my family or my friends, like we're talking right now, like, don't really support me and what I want to accomplish or do. Again, like, don't take that person. Everything that is along those lines of, like, you're not going to succeed or you can't or you won't or, you know, my family or my friends don't really support me. Don't take it personally. Whatever they think and feel is their own problem.

13:14It's nothing personal to you because they're dealing with themselves and not you. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more.

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14:26I know because I've done the same thing to other people before. I'd say it's a lot of balls to be able to say that right now. So I appreciate that. And that the only friends who think I'm losing too much weight are the ones who are overweight and unhealthy. I love them, but I diss them. Yeah. So yeah, send love. Because this is a thing too. The friends, the one friend in particular at the beginning of my journey was the one that was like, I'm worried about you. I'm worried about what you're eating, whatever she said.

14:56She then came back six months later after I had achieved all the results. Like I stepped on stage. Like I did everything. I accomplished the goal. She came back and she asked me to write her a diet and workout program. So that's going to happen, right? That's why like if anything, if there's anything you can do, first of all, stand your ground in the moment if this is happening for yourself. Or if like you see, you know, your parents bickering, get in the middle and just call it for what it is. And, you know, bring the awkward elephant or whatever that saying is or aquaternal and just call it point blank and just be honest.

15:35But whatever it is, if there's any way that you can inspire that person, even though they're coming at you, you can't, you will. If there's any way to inspire them, first of all, it just breaks pattern. It breaks their mental pattern because they're saying, oh, you're not going to be able to do it. And you can just be like, first of all, watch me. Or, you know, I'm going to do this for me and then I hope maybe I inspire you to do the same for yourself or something along those lines. Because then they'll come back months later and be like, okay, I see what you did.

16:10How do you do it? What can I do? How can you help me? But understand, others are always going to have, hold my beer and watch. Yes. Yes. I love that, Jessica. That's hilarious. Hold my beer and watch. Take pictures, right? Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, you guys. So nothing they think about in relation to you is really about you. It's totally about them. You guys are cracking me up, Jessica. Or Jess, let me get the popcorn.

16:42All right. You create the entire picture of your body, like I said, in your own mind. And in that picture, you are the main character. Everyone else is secondary. I need you guys to know that. I need you guys to let that sink in. I need you guys to write it down. I need you to do whatever you need to do to remember that in your mind is your goal. You see it. And in that picture, you are the main character. Everybody else around you is secondary. Moms, I get what you're thinking.

17:13I put my kids first. Or, you know, yada, yada, yada. You're the role model for that. So when you're the main person in that picture, you got to show up for yourself because secondary, the people around you are watching everything that you're doing. And they're going to model everything that you're doing. And it even, I think, counts for sure for grown-ass adults as well. Okay? So remember, you are the main person in that picture. You're the main character. Everyone else is secondary. It is your own vision of what you want to accomplish.

17:44And the way you see that picture is according to the beliefs that you have made in your own life. If you think you can, you will. If you don't think you can, you won't. And if you're in that low vibration and low energy of you don't think you can and you don't think you and you won't, you will be easily influenced by the flock of opinions that come your way along your journey. So you have to stay in that I believe that I can.

18:14You see the picture according to your beliefs that you've made in your own life. You know that you can and you will. If you sunk down to low energy, you're going to accept any opinion that comes your way. But trust me, like I said, the beginning of my journey, maybe you guys have experienced it too. It is so easy to accept that kind of comment. So easy. And for, you know, I don't know. I don't remember it for beta because it was so long ago. But I'm sure it sent me to thinking about things for a couple of days. But thank God I was in my own energy after I left their house.

18:45And I still pursued the goals that I wanted to pursue for myself. So when there's that space, that's where you're reminded of what you want to accomplish. But if you're constantly around that person that's beating you down or doesn't support you and you're easily influenced, it's going to make you question things or it's going to be an external trigger. But once you create space and you can remember why you're doing this, you can remember what you want to do for yourself. That's where you're going to remember to take the right actions of believing in yourself and taking the right steps to do the things that you do need to do.

19:18Okay. Your point of view, you guys, is something personal to you. It's no one's truth but yours. So you have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you. Okay. You have to trust yourself and you have to believe or not or not to believe what someone says to you. As you practice not taking anything personally, you won't need to place your trust in what others say or do. You will only need to trust yourself to make the responsible choices, the right choices

19:53that support what you want to accomplish with the vision that you hold for yourself. So the actions you take daily should always be in alignment with what you want to accomplish. Hey, hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you guys are enjoying it and there's so much more to come with it. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons. And also it would help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too. Thanks so much, guys. Let's get back to the show.

20:24If someone slips in, gets in your ear, recognize that it's a non-supporting trigger and you still need to do the right trigger or take the right action that's going to be in alignment with what you want to accomplish. When you truly accept this whole thing, you won't be hurt by the comments that people are saying or do inside or outside of your fitness journey. Once you fully grasp this, you will be extremely unstoppable in anything that you want to do in

20:56life. Okay. You just got to believe in yourself and know that you can and know that you are the main character of the picture in your mind and everybody else around you is secondary. Or if people have already achieved these results, believe them, trust them. They're going to help you get the result for yourself. And really quick too, your surroundings shape your energy and your surroundings influence your performance dramatically, you guys. Everything outside you affects the way that you think, feel, and execute.

21:27Literally everything. So your personal surroundings include the people that you have conversations with. It includes the people that you follow on social media. It includes the news that you consume, the books that you read, the food that you eat, the place that you live, and so much more. It all works together to either move you forward or hold you back. You can't surround yourself with people who make you feel bad or spend your time in toxic environments. Make sure that you stand your ground. You increase your inspiration by doing the things that increase inspiration.

21:59Okay. It sounds easy, but it's harder. It sounds easy, but it's harder, more. It's easier said than done. Right. With the environment, some of us find ourselves in or have found ourselves in before. Make sure that you actively protect your energy. You actively protect your goals. You actively protect the vision that you have for the goals that you want to accomplish. Or if they're troubled with visionary, which a lot of people are, they can't really vision. Just make sure you protect your positivity around what you want. Protect your positivity around what you want to accomplish and the results you want to generate

22:33for yourself. All right. We've all been. Have we all been in that situation before? Have we all experienced those naysayers? And yeah, we've all been there. Yeah. So remember too, that's how we have this group of women. Because we all get it. We all get the goals we want to accomplish. We all get the reason we eat the way we eat. We all get the reason why we work out the way we work out. We all get the reason why we meal prep. We all get the reason why we open up MyFitnessPal every single day.

23:04Okay. Okay. So we all get it. And if there's ever anybody that needs any type of support, come to this group. Come to the Facebook group. Express it. Because I guarantee you, you're going to have five or 10 or 15 of these women comment on that post supporting you, lifting you up, and remembering to help you stand into your own power. Annette, you got a statement, babe? Yeah. Yeah. I just want to say, you know, one of the things that I learned a long time ago, and this is, I think, what scares a lot of my friends when they see me get like passionate about something

23:38new like this, is they know that if I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. I'm going to take it to the max and I'm going to complete whatever I said I was going to do. And so a lot of the criticism I've gotten is, you know, believe it or not, I've heard this from a few people around me is, you know, you know, Annette, women your age, they lose weight like that. You look older, that, I mean, crazy stuff like that. And I'm like, you know, and again, this is coming from people who are unhealthy or overweight,

24:13not fit, not taking care of themselves. And the only reason they're saying it to me is because they know, they know I'm not going to stop until I get to where I want to go. And I think we need to become those types of women, women that, you know, it doesn't matter what anybody says. We're just going to get done what we said we were going to get done. And it gets to the point where people, the reason they make the comments is they're kind of scared. They're kind of intimidated by the actions that you're taking to get yourself to where you

24:45want to go. So that's why I said, I don't take advice from anyone about what I'm doing who hasn't gone to journey, who hasn't gone before me. I mean, because basically they're intimidated by what you're doing. And that's, I think that's, you know, I have a very strong mindset. I got a very thick skin, which a lot of people don't like. But that's what gets me through to doing what I need to do. I just, whatever, love them. It's like, I love my friends, but I'm not taking advice from people who aren't going

25:17the journey. I'm just not going to do it, you know, but that's it. I just, you know. Amen. Like, and look at your arms and that you're looking awesome. You put a flex up for him. There you go. Let's go. Yes. You look awesome, babe. Keep it up. But that's so true. You want to be a doer, not a sayer, right? You're going to do what you say you're going to do, okay? The most important, you can say, say, say, but you got to do. You got to follow through.

25:49So I love that. And I love that you got the thick skin. I love that you can push off. And I love that you're the one that it's like, you're like the pit bull. You're like intimidating to your friends because you're going to accomplish what you want. You're going to go after it, which is the way, you know, we all got to be. And it's hard because then we can dive into like talking about masculine and like feminine energy. But some of us got to get that masculine energy to show the F up for ourselves and stand our ground for what we want. No matter what. So I hope that this empowers you guys, right? In some way or another, if it may be, you know, you've locked and loaded.

26:22You've already been through the situation, but just a nicer reminder. Maybe you need to be that one that stands up or stands your ground and handles these external triggers. It makes sure that you are showing up for the way that you want to be showing up for yourself. Because again, you are the main character of the picture in your mind. Nobody is going to do the work for you. You have to do the work. So you need to make sure that you believe in yourself that you can and know that if you can, you will. You will accomplish it. Hey guys, real quick. If you're interested in taking your body to the next level, lose body fat, build more muscle, feel more confident.

26:57Do it alongside one of our 30 plus professional coaches. Work one-on-one with her to eliminate all of the guesswork that you may have. And all you need to do is just do the work that she tells you to do to get to those goals of yours. And to learn more, click the link below this podcast and apply to our VIP program right now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.