How to Handle Unsupportive Family on Your Fitness Journey

Nikkiey: You create the entire picture of the body, the goal, in your own mind, and in that picture, you are the main character.

What's going on, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder and brand personality of WarriorBabe, where we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to episode number 17, all about not letting the opinions of others drown you.

I feel like this, especially with the new year and everybody wanting to go do their thing and accomplish the goal and strive for this and do this differently, you probably got the flock of opinions from your loved ones, your friends, your distant cousins, coming into play right now that may be drowning you, and may honestly be the reason why you aren't progressing forward. One of the reasons, right? So what I want to talk about today is not letting those opinions drown you, you staying in your own thought process, your own lane, and making sure you're doing all of the things that are in alignment with the goals that you want to accomplish.

So to kick it off, please don't take anything personally. That's the podcast, guys. Done. Don't take anything personally. And this is going to come from this awesome book called The Four Agreements, and this is the second of The Four Agreements. That book is by Don Miguel Ruiz. Don't take anything personally, okay? And I highly recommend that book, that read. It's super quick, and it will put you in a growth mentality real quick if you struggle with standing your own ground and feeling confident within yourself and the goals that you want to achieve. So definitely check it out.

But don't take anything personally. Seriously, whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. Some of you guys may experience somebody, like a friend, a family member, a husband, a partner, say, hey, you won't or you can't accomplish that goal. Guys, it has nothing to do with you when they're saying that, but everything to do with them. And if you take it personally, then it's safe to say you believe that you can't accomplish the goal. And if that's the case, then you're super easily influenced by somebody else's opinion. If somebody says, hey, you won't or you can't accomplish that, and you believe that, then you're easily influenced by that person's opinion. Yet that person's opinion has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with the thought processes that are going on inside of their head. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with themselves.

All people live in their own mind. They are in a completely different world from the one that you live in. And when you guys do take something personally and let other people's opinions influence you, you make the assumption that they know what is going on in your own mind, right? We make the assumption that they know what our goals are. They know what it feels like. They know X, Y, and Z. But they have no idea. There's no way they possibly can know that. They don't see what you see. They're not in your head. They don't feel what you want to accomplish. They don't know what this means to you. They don't see the vision that you're holding of the body that you want and the feeling of confidence and all this jazz. They have no idea.

What they say, what they do, and the opinions that they give are 100% according to the beliefs that they have in their own mind. So when someone says, hey, you won't or you can't accomplish that goal, what they're really saying is, hey, I won't or I can't accomplish the type of goal she is going for. But the thing is, they don't say it that way. They just project that onto you. Their point of view comes from all of the programming, all of the beliefs, all the things that they've received throughout their entire lifetime.

So if someone gives you the opinion and says you aren't going to succeed at yet another fitness program, guys, don't take it personally. When that happens, just stand there. Allow them to say that. But you have to have, and I've talked about this in previous podcasts, a force field around you where that opinion cannot cross that force field. It gets electrocuted and it goes the opposite direction, back onto that person.

Don't take it personally, because the truth is, if they're projecting it onto you, they're dealing with their own feelings, their own beliefs, their own opinions of failure at previous attempts of following a fitness program. Is that making sense? So when somebody is projecting this viewpoint onto you, it's coming from all of their programming, all of the beliefs that they received throughout their lifetime. So if they're saying you're not going to succeed in another fitness program, it's because they in the past have not succeeded at a fitness program. And so they're projecting onto you their feeling about how they didn't succeed, their belief of why they couldn't do it, and the opinions of all the failure that they've had in their previous attempts of trying to follow a fitness program.

Guys, I've heard it so many times from WarriorBabes in our community: my family or my friends don't really support me on what I want to accomplish or do. Don't take it personally. Whatever they think and feel is their own problem. It has nothing personal to do with you, because they're dealing with themselves, not you. I don't know how many different ways I could say it. I just want to say it in all different lights here. It's personal to them. It has nothing to do with you. It's their own thought process. It has nothing to do with you. It's all of their programming, the beliefs of what they experienced in the past. It has nothing to do with you, but only those experiences in the past that they're projecting onto you.

Others are going to give their own opinion according to their own belief system. So nothing they think about in relation to you is really about you. It is entirely about them. You create the entire picture of the body, the goal, in your own mind. And in that picture, you are the main character. Everyone else is secondary. It is your own vision of what you want to accomplish. And the way you see that picture is according to the beliefs that you have made in your own life.

If you think you can, you will. If you don't think you can, you won't. And you will be easily influenced by the flock of opinions that come your way along your journey. So you need to make sure that you have strongly rooted beliefs in what you want to accomplish, regardless of anything you've experienced in the past. Right now, you firmly believe that you can accomplish this. And that is all that matters. Then you put this force field around you. And you go and do the things that are going to make you believe even more that you're going to accomplish the goal that you want.

But if you don't think you can, in this moment you are relying on all past feelings, on all past attempts. And then somebody comes up to you and says all of these things in a negative tone about what you want to accomplish. Guess what? You are so easily influenced by those opinions that are going to come your way along your journey. And that could be speed bump after speed bump after speed bump. And you may not even be noticing this. This could all be happening unconsciously, right? I want to break through that unconscious barrier right now and make you conscious about this. Don't let the speed bumps happen. Put the force field around you. And don't let anything come into it. Believe you can. Go do it. Believe you can. Start taking actions that are going to make you believe even more that you can. And accomplish what you want.

Your point of view is something personal to you, you guys. It is no one's truth but yours. And you have to trust yourself. And you have to choose to believe or to not believe what someone says to you. As you practice not taking anything personally, guys, you won't need to place your trust in what others say or do.

For example, you love your husband dearly, right? But he's seen all of the previous things that you failed at or tried to do. And so he's saying you probably won't accomplish this new one that you want to go and try. And you trust him. That's where you believe him. But you have to trust yourself. And you have to choose to believe that you can do this. Not choose to believe what somebody else says. And when you do that, you won't need to place your trust anymore in what he says. You'll only need to trust yourself to make the responsible choices that support what you want to accomplish with the vision that you hold for yourself. That's all that matters.

You have the vision that you want to accomplish. You believe that you can. You trust that you can. You have a force field around you. You start taking actions that make you believe more that you can. And then look at this: three months, six months, eight months later, holy cow, you're getting the results that you want. It's all about the vision that you hold for yourself. And that's it. Nobody else's vision.

You are never responsible for the actions of others, you guys. You are only responsible for you. So the actions that you take daily should always be in alignment with what you want to accomplish. When you truly accept this, you won't be hurt by the careless comments people say or do inside or outside of your fitness lifestyle. Remember that. When you truly accept that the actions you take daily should be in alignment with what you want to accomplish, that you're never responsible for the actions of others, you're only responsible for yours, and that you have this vision that you need to uphold and want to accomplish, then anybody can say anything to you and you will be unstoppable. You will be untouchable.

For example, this is one of the big reasons why I felt like I wanted to talk about this with you guys today. This is one of the big reasons why I have been so successful along my own journey, second to discipline, second to taking action and being a go-getter. I don't care what people say about what I am going and striving for, right? Cut back to the beginning of my journey: I had friends that didn't support me along my journey, that didn't get what I was doing, that had a comment about everything. But I held this vision so true in my mind, and I was so engulfed in the energy of that vision and what I wanted to accomplish, that those friends are no longer my friends anymore. And now, because I had that strong backbone at the beginning of my journey, today I get comments, and I mean, I put my face on social media, right? I get comments every single day, careless comments from people. But it doesn't bother me, because I am doing my own thing. I'm living my own truth. And that's what I want you guys to have the power to do as well.

Hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you guys are enjoying it, and there's so much more to come. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons. And it would also help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too. Thanks so much, guys. Let's get back to the show.

If you're ever in a situation going forward where you're part of an opinion being dropped that doesn't support you, or that's negative, or someone saying, hey, you won't or you can't accomplish this, dude, stand your freaking ground. Stand up for what you want. Can I get an amen to that? Amen. Guys, this is how you're going to build your own confidence within yourself. When you stand your ground, when you say no. Or when somebody says a comment to you, you just don't take it personally. Maybe there's a little witty remark you could say back, like, oh, why do you think that? And usually the explanation is probably tied to something that they've experienced or something they saw in you in the past. It has everything to do with the past and nothing to do with your future.

And really quick, you guys: your surroundings shape your energy, and your surroundings influence your performance dramatically. Everything outside you affects the way that you think, feel and execute. Literally everything. Your personal surroundings include the people that you have conversations with, the people that you follow on social media, the news that you consume, the books that you read, the food that you eat, the places you live and so much more. It all works together to either move you forward or hold you back. So you can't surround yourself with people who make you feel bad.

For me, at the beginning, these were friends that I just didn't have the bandwidth to hold a friendship with anymore, because they didn't support what I wanted to accomplish for myself. And so I didn't surround myself with those people. If this is something that you need to learn how to tackle, my personal recommendation is this: you don't have to cut ties if you don't want to, but you need to put those friends at a distance. You need to not have conversations with them every single day, because their conversations are probably in a negative light towards what you want to accomplish, or not supportive of what you want to accomplish, or they have a question for everything that you're doing. So you just need to create more of a distance in that friendship and maybe check in every other week, or have conversations with them then.

When you're getting the results, it's going to be a lot easier to have conversations with them. They'll be like, oh, wow, you're actually doing it. And they're going to start believing it. Now everything's forward-based and not past-based anymore. But for the time being, at the beginning, it may be hard, especially if you're just starting out and you haven't reaped any rewards yet. You haven't seen the payoff for yourself. You need to just put those people at a distance.

Or if it's your husband, or a partner that doesn't support you along your journey, that you're living with every single day and see all the time, the most important thing I can say you should do is to have a conversation with that individual. Sit them down. Get them to understand that whatever you did in the past, you understand that maybe you haven't succeeded at it. But right now you want to make a change for yourself, because you want to feel better. You want to be more confident. You want to see progress within yourself. You want to prove it to yourself, which will prove it to other people. Prove it to yourself first, and have an honest conversation with them. Be like, I need you to support me in this. You're my best friend. I love you to death. What you say, I trust. So sit down with them. Sit down with your husband. Stand your ground and be like, dude, I just need your support with this. Please just help me. Don't negatively comment on things. Just help me help myself move forward.

So make sure you guys stand your ground. Don't spend time in toxic environments. Don't spend time with toxic people. Don't surround yourself with people who make you feel bad. Don't surround yourself with people who comment on everything in a negative way, on what you're doing and why you're doing it. Make sure you stand your ground. Increase your inspiration by doing the things that increase your inspiration. It sounds easy, but it's harder said than done. And I get that.

But I gave you some takeaways there on what you can do right now. Put up your force field. Stand your ground. Have conversations. Put people at a distance. Stay true to you. Stay true to your vision of what you want. Know that when something negative is coming at you, it's probably all past-based and not future-based. So recognize that. Be more conscious of the conversations that you're having with close friends and family members. And whatever is negative that doesn't support you, make a conscious awareness of that conversation right now. Put a force field up. Just be like, oh, man, why do you think that? Or ask questions back to them. Is it something that you've experienced, that you don't think you can? It will eventually get to that in the conversation. But usually it's always about them. They're just reflecting it onto you.

Make sure you actively protect your aspirations, you guys. Your goals. Your positivity. So you can generate the results that you truly want for yourself. Remember, nobody sees the goal that you have in your own mind. Nobody feels what you want to accomplish. Only you do. So you have to stay true to yourself. Stay true to your vision. Stay true to what you want. And anything in your surroundings, in your environment, in your reality, that's negative, just put it at a distance. Put the force field around you. And go on your way and win. And win.

All right, you guys. I hope this podcast helped you. If it did, screenshot it. Share it to social media. Tag me. I would love to see that. I would love to see that you guys are gaining value from these podcasts. I absolutely love doing them for you. I love speaking this to you, because I know that of all of you guys listening to this right now, there's somebody who may be struggling with this the most, right? And they're going to take this. And all I ask is that you take this information. You take these tactics that I share with you. And you start to go apply them in your everyday. All right, you guys. Cool. I'll see you next time. Peace out.

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