How To Navigate Fitness Goals with an Unsupportive Partner

00:00Real quick, the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals, and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate, review, and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask for you to do is if you could leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone else. All your partners want or friends or family members, they want to support you. Deep down in them, that is the love of them, the connection of them.

00:33People want to support people. So when you say it like that, the outcome is going to be different for you. The key here is to keep it light and to keep it optional. Hey, you guys. What's going on? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show, or if this is one of your first episodes, welcome to the show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat,

01:05build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkie Stott. And welcome to today's episode, episode number 208. And today, I want to tackle a topic with you guys that can be tough to navigate, but it is also so important for anyone serious about their health and fitness goals. And that is what to do when your partner isn't fully supportive of your journey,

01:37and like how to navigate that conversation with them. Because first off, making lifestyle changes is hard enough, right? But it can feel even harder if the person closest to you doesn't understand or support the changes that you're making. So today, I'm going to talk about why a partner might not feel supportive, how to approach that type of conversation with empathy instead of defense, and understanding like where they're coming from and what they may be experiencing,

02:12and ultimately how, and most importantly, you can stay true to yourself and to your goals. So let's first by just chatting about seeing things from your partner's perspective. So when we start making changes, whether it's like the New Year's resolution that's coming around the corner, or where you're committing to your workouts, you're dialing into your nutrition, or you're just setting bigger health goals, it's not just a shift in your own life,

02:45but it can also feel like a shift in the relationship dynamic. And that's where things can get really tricky. So why might a partner struggle with this change? It's because it often comes down to a fear of change. And maybe even that person is projecting some insecurities onto you. And that's what I want to kind of like break down for you, because I think it's important like for you to understand, like remove yourself from it for a second if you can.

03:17Like first internally check in with yourself when this conversation is going on, and make sure that like you recognize maybe some of the emotions that may be surfacing, which could be you're getting defensive, or you might get angry, or you might withdraw. So check in with yourself first, but then try to also breathe, and then try and take on what your partner may be experiencing, and try to understand it from their perspective. Because number one, think about it this way, like for fear of change, when you start focusing on your own health,

03:48your partner might worry that your priorities are shifting. They may feel like they're losing the old version of you, or they might worry that these changes mean a change in a relationship dynamic. Maybe they're used to eating certain foods with you. Maybe they're used to spending evenings relaxing instead of working out with you. Or maybe they're used to bonding over specific routines that may be up for change, and that will be changing.

04:19As you start to focus on these types of goals that you have for yourself, and that can bring up fears, even if they're not fully aware of them. Like your partner could be in their own defense. Like they could be in their own defensive mechanism. They could be in their own withdrawal energy. But what's really beyond that and deeper than that is that they have this fear. But they, I mean, sometimes men don't have, they have a hard time communicating their feelings. So if you can maybe understand that this is what they're feeling,

04:51you can help to question the type of energy that you are experiencing from them. First and foremost, I'm actually going to get into that, like how to approach that conversation with them. But I think the most important thing is just understanding this could be going on. They have this fear that some things are going to be changing. The priorities are not going to be the same. And so it's bringing these emotions up. Another common reason for resistance is insecurity. When someone close to us, when you start to improve yourself,

05:25it will bring up their own insecurity. It will bring up your partner's own insecurities. So if your partner has her own struggles with health or with self-image, your commitment to change might make them feel pressured. Even if you've said nothing to that effect. Even if you are just totally in your own bubble, in your own space, and you're so excited about the things for yourself, it doesn't matter. Even if you're not pressuring them, you're not saying anything about that they need to be doing it,

05:55they're taking on that emotion regardless. And sometimes these insecurities can show up as a criticism towards you or a lack of support or they may not understand what you're doing, but deep down it's often more about them than it is about you. So to put in like for some context, I saw this dynamic happen between my stepmom and my dad before I know when I saw a shift,

06:26I knew that they were communicating with each other and that they both got on board with it. But when I first started out on my journey, my friends had everything under the sun to say about what I was doing. And then when I later understood these concepts of them sharing with you, I understood that they were just projecting outwardly some emotions or fears or insecurities from their own perspective and they were putting it on to me. And so if you can understand this, and you gain the concept of like understanding these possible reasons,

07:02it will help you see that their lack of support isn't necessarily a reflection of you or your goals. It's often just that their own fears or own insecurities are talking. And when you can recognize that you can approach this conversation with empathy rather than being defensive and getting in argument and fighting and getting loud and putting them down and being frustrated and withdrawing and going to bed angry at each other.

07:36Like if you can approach, like you can, if you can, you know, next time that maybe you talk about this, if this is you and you're struggling with this, or you have this in some type of dynamic, doesn't necessarily have to be your partner. It can be anybody. It can be your mom. It can be your dad. It can be your siblings. It could be your aunt. It could be anybody in your immediate circle. It could be your best friend. But if you can take a step back and you can like, when you're sharing some things about what you're doing, and then you can, you can stay in your own energy field. And then you can recognize the reactions or responses that the other person is having

08:12without diving in and being immersed in their own, in that person's energy and their responses. If you can kind of stay in your, stay grounded in your own self, you'll be able to recognize that this is what's happening, that their fears and their insecurities are talking. And so I need to then go into this next thing that I want to talk with you guys about is approach this conversation with empathy, rather than either agreeing with them, because if you're agreeing with them, you're, you're agreeing with their insecurities and with their fears. And you don't have them,

08:44but you will find yourself agreeing with them. And then later on, you will find yourself not doing the things that you know you need to do. So how do you actually talk to your partner about your health goals in a way, or anybody, again, it could be anybody in your circle that is projecting these things onto you. How can you talk about them in a way that's open and supportive rather than confrontational, or rather than shutting down, or rather than being defensive? So number one, the timing of this conversation matters more than anything.

09:15Avoid bringing this up in like the middle of like a busy or stressful moment. And definitely don't start this conversation after an argument or when emotions are already high. You have to be aware of the time and the place. You want to choose like a calm, relaxed moment, maybe on a walk or during a quiet evening, or when you're having date night. You want this conversation to feel like an open invitation, not an intervention with them.

09:46So making sure that you have the time and the place, choosing that right environment is going to make all of the difference. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe,

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10:48All right, let's get back to the show. Don't bring this up after an argument. Don't bring this up when emotions are already high because it's only going to feed fuel to the fire. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle,

11:18lose fat, and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. The second one is arguably too very important. You using I statements to focus on your own journey. So when you're sharing your goals, focus on how you feel rather than what you think they should be doing or how they should be supporting you. For example, you could say something like,

11:48I've been feeling really motivated to focus on my health goals because it makes me feel strong and energized. You can say something like that to them. And this keeps the focus on your personal journey and it reduces any sense of pressure that they may feel. You're saying, I've been feeling really motivated. Or if things are getting like uncomfortable for you,

12:18like where you don't feel you're being supportive, you could say like you put in an I statement. Hey, I just want to be really open with you right now and how I'm feeling. I don't feel, I feel like I'm, I'm being, uh, on, or, the right word to find it. I feel like I'm not being supported or I wouldn't say not or don't. Like those are some like hard words, but I would say, Hey, like, I just wanted to be open with you and how I'm feeling. There's some things recently that I feel just,

12:49I'm not being supported along my journey. And this is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why? Because if you put in an I statement, instead of being like, you're not supporting me on my journey, you're saying things that aren't helpful or your actions aren't making me feel good. Or, you know, you're, you're putting it on, you see how that's like different tonality. Like you're putting it on them rather than focusing on how you feel. And not on what you think they should be doing for you or how they should be supporting you.

13:22So it's really important because this keeps a focus on your journey and it reduces any sense of pressure that they might feel that they have to show up a certain way for you. Does that make sense? I think that's really important to understand because that's really in any, like outside of just not feeling supported in a fitness journey, that could be in any argument that you have. First approaching it from, hey, I feel this way and being vulnerable with how you're feeling and then trying to problem solve from there. The last one for how to like lead this conversation with empathy is share like your why behind your goals.

14:00Because sometimes your partners, your people in your circle don't understand your goals. They simply because they haven't heard like the full story. Like you just say like, oh, I'm going to start working out. I'm going to start eating better, but they don't know why. So explain why this journey is so important to you. Maybe it's about feeling more confident. Maybe it's about setting an example for your family or simply feeling better in your own skin. Or if it's your partner,

14:31like feeling better in your own skin and like, you know, wanting to have sex more comfortably with them or with them. When they understand like the real reason behind your goal, it might resonate with them a little bit more and help them see that this is something that you're doing for you. And it's not a, not as a judgment on their own lifestyle because you got to understand like everyone's always like, what's in it for me? Or how does this, how does this relate to me? So you got to like put yourself into that shoe and recognize that that's how that person's energy is sometimes going to come up initially before you can break down some walls and have a really empathetic conversation with them.

15:11And just making sure that you're putting it in how you're feeling and that it's, more so that this is how you want your journey to be perceived from the way that you're going to explain it. And let them understand why it's important to you and saying it from an I statement. And choosing the right place and time, I think is really important. Now, when you're having this conversation, it's really important to acknowledge any fears that they may have.

15:43So let them know that just because you're focusing on your health, it doesn't mean that you're judging them or that you're going to stop spending time together or enjoying, enjoying shared activities. For example, you could say something like, I understand that this is something new for me and I don't expect you to change anything. I just want to make these changes for myself. And I'd love to know you support me in that. Let them know that, like your love and your connection with them is still important and that this journey doesn't have to change that.

16:18When you say it from that frame, like you, you're, you're basically being like, I understand your perspective. I hear your fears and your insecurities, but I also want you to know that I love you. And I love these aspects about you. And I don't expect you to change anything. I just want you to know that I'm changing these things for myself. And when you let them know that like connection and your love with them is still so important.

16:48And this journey doesn't have to change that. That's huge. That's so important. And if they feel more secure in the relationship, they may be more open to supporting you without feeling threatened by your goals. Okay. And sometimes a partner can feel left out if you're making changes. So invite them. Like it's completely, it depends on the situation of how your dynamic is. But, but sometimes people are like, oh, you're doing this.

17:18Your partner probably always wants to do things with you. Right? So invite them to join you without any pressure. You might say like, okay, if you're interested, I'd love for you to come join me in some sort of workout, but there's no pressure at all. Just knowing that like you're there to support me means a lot. And like, you see, you're talking from you. You're not like, hey, you should come work out with me tomorrow. I think it would be really good for the both of us. No, it's like, hey, I'd love for you to join me in like a workout sometime.

17:50No pressure at all. Just knowing that you're there will help support me even more. All your partners want or friends or family members, they want to support you. Deep down in them, that is the love of them, the connection of them. People want to support people. So when you say it like that, it's going to, the outcome is going to be different for you. The key here is to keep it light and to keep it optional. It's not about trying to make them follow the same plan as you, but it's simply showing that you would love to have them be a part of your journey if they want to.

18:23Sometimes like, just like a gentle invitation is all it takes for them to start becoming curious or like, even interested in joining you or doing what you are doing or understanding like, the protocols or things that you're doing, the workouts that you're doing, the nutrition that you're eating. Like, I think that's really important. Okay. But now too, like, let's be real. Sometimes, even after all of this, your partner may still not fully get it. And that is okay.

18:55Support is amazing. But remember your journey, your, what you want is ultimately your commitment to yourself. So if you feel like you're not getting the support that you need at home, I would highly recommend. And this is why Warrior Babe is one of the leading fitness companies in the industry is because we have a community of like-minded women that are inside on the back end, that support each other, that rally each other, that inspire each other, that motivate each other. Everybody in that community. I mean, if you know that your Warrior Babe friend, there's been so many Warrior Babes that have met each other in person,

19:27have worked out together. If you know your Warrior Babe friend is going to the gym at 7 a.m., guess what you're going to do? You're going to show up and get your workout done that day too as well, because you know that person got it done. Or look for, if you're not going to be in a community, look for friends, look for family or online, you know, people that may be on similar paths. Like you can follow people on Instagram that are on similar paths and be inspired by them. You'll find people who are going through the same up and downs if you put yourself into a community. that like Warrior Babe or vice versa on the internet.

19:59But having the support system can be incredibly motivating and remind you that you're not alone on this journey. Okay? At the end of the day, regardless of if you have a supportive partner or not, you have to stay true to your own goals. And you have to stay grounded in yourself and what you want. And not to be affected by somebody else's energy or insecurities. Because if you are,

20:29you're going to take them on. And you're going to realize that a month later or two months later, you find yourself not being as motivated as you were before, because you're taking on the energies of the people around you that aren't motivated to make a change for themselves. And they're projecting it onto you. So you have to stay in your own energy along this journey. And just remember how important it is to stay true to you and to your goals. And sometimes the best way to inspire others around you is to just simply stay so consistent with what you're doing.

21:02Let your results, let your energy and your happiness speak for itself. Your partner might not fully understand right now, but as they see the positive impact on your life, they may start to come around on their own. And I have seen that time and time again. And let me tell you too, I have seen like in my own journey, I didn't have friends to support. I was that person that I just explained. Like I took on the energies of my friends at the beginning of my journey.

21:34And then I finally like removed myself from that bubble and that circle. And then I found other like-minded individuals that were on this similar journey as me. And I made new friends. So you have to know like maybe sometimes it's okay to like go with circles that don't support you anymore. Because there's a support group out there for you, waiting for you to be involved with them. Partners is a little bit different. You're married to them. So I think it's really important to understand having the conversation with them, leading with empathy rather than a destructive energy.

22:07And your journey is yours. So remember why you started and hold on to that. Like you're the one making those changes because you know that they're going to bring you closer to the healthiest, happiest version of yourself. And that is such a powerful thing to remember. You're the only one. So this time and time again, the warrior babe community, you are the only one that has this vision in their brain of what they want to accomplish and why they want to accomplish it. And sometimes like you articulating that doesn't make sense,

22:40but it makes sense in your brain. And you have to remember that because you're the only one that can see and understand that. And you can do your best like explaining it to other people, but sometimes because they are in their own space. And with everything I talked about insecurities and fear and doubt and self, you know, their self-worth and all that kind of stuff is, is kind of in the pooper. Uh, I lost my train of track and train of thought there. But you get what I'm saying, right? It's like you have that vision of yourself and it doesn't make sense to anybody else but you.

23:15So don't let anybody else's lack of understanding hold you back from the goals that you want to accomplish. So to sum it all up in this episode, which pretty short, but really to the point, you guys, is talking to your partner about your health and fitness goals. It can be challenging, especially if they're not quite on board. But with the tactics and strategies and some examples that I use, if you lead a little bit of empathy and a little bit of understanding and that open communication, you can often find a way to create mutual respect and mutual support.

23:47So it's all about just the way you navigate those things and also just understanding like, being at as much as you can in conscious reality and not stuck in your own mind about worrying about what they're going to think or say or how you're showing up. It's like you have to show up in your most authentic self when you're holding these conversations with them and recognize that their responses or the way they react isn't going to be top tier or 100% or the way that you would hope that it would be. But if you can recognize that this is what's going on behind it and understand where the perspective is coming from,

24:22it's going to make a world of a difference with the way that you navigate that conversation with empathy. And hopefully you can come to the mutual respect and understanding. All right? Just know that no matter what, you are not alone on this journey. There are thousands of women inside the Worried Beard community that would have your back if you're so interested in joining our community. And you have the power to reach your goals no matter what. All right? So until next time, you guys, I love you all. Give this a go if you're one of those that's struggling right now with how to communicate with your partner

24:53around this aspect of your life and you know you need to change it. Give these strategies a try. All right? Remember, we're doing this for you. Okay. Love you all. See you next time. Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference, helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence.

25:24It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

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