How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others in Fitness

Nikkiey: We're constantly seeing the after photos. We're constantly seeing the aesthetic pictures, the aesthetics of the meals. We're seeing the scale drops. We're seeing the strength PRs. But what we're not seeing, and what I wish social media did better with this, we're not seeing the years and years of hard work, the discipline that that person had to go through to get there. Not many people wake up in the morning and they're like, first thing in the morning, let me open up Instagram and be like, yo, bro, I do not feel like doing this today, but I'm going to go do it.

Yo, yo, yo. What is going on, my friends? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident.

I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to episode number 249. Guys, I'm just really excited to be here with you all. It has been maybe a week and a half, almost two weeks now since I've recorded a solo episode. I know that I said this in the last solo episode: the month of March is kind of a blur. It was a really fun March, a really fun birthday month. But I was on a trip every weekend, and it ended with a bang. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I was in the darkness, literally pitch black darkness. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, just myself and my thoughts, alone in the middle of freaking Oregon for three days and four nights. So it was a fun month.

I'm going to record a podcast on that, because a lot of you guys have been asking me. You guys are very interested, and I love that you're so curious about that journey. You were leaning in with me when I came out, and I did a Q&A on my Instagram story. Anyway, I'm going to do a whole episode on it for sure. But we've got some really cool solo episodes and guest episodes coming.

I just recorded an epic guest episode last night with a pretty big force within the fitness space right now. She is making waves, and I am on her boat. I'm just really excited for that podcast. It's going to come out next week. I don't know if it's going to be Monday or Friday, but you'll definitely want to tune in for that one.

Today, though, guys, again, I'm just really excited to be here with you all. It's one of my favorite things, recording these episodes, and I'm praying that we get back on pace here. Thank you for listening to the interviews that we've been putting out. It's really inspiring and really empowering to hear those WarriorBabes' journeys. But I'm trying to get these solo episodes back on course.

With all that being said, today I want to dive into a topic that sneaks in quietly, but it hits hard. Man, I remember doing this at the beginning of my journey. I constantly hear a lot of women doing this along their journey, and I've coached women through this topic along their own personal journeys. And we do it not just in fitness. We do it in a lot of areas of our life. That's comparison.

Let's be honest, you guys, we've all experienced it. You're scrolling on IG and boom, there's someone's transformation photo, or someone looks really pretty, or their abs are popping, or they're showing their macros, or they're showing their whole weight loss story. And suddenly you're not feeling so great about your own progress. Does that sound familiar? We've all been there, and we're going to go there today.

I want to hold space with this topic for you guys, because here's the truth: comparison is literally the thief of all joy. It is the thief of all of your own personal progress. It makes you feel like you're not doing enough, like your pace is too slow, or like maybe you're not even cut out for going on your own fitness journey, or for losing weight, or for looking the way you imagine you could look. I want this episode to help you know how to not let comparison rob you of your own personal journey.

In this episode, I want to talk about why comparison is so common, especially for women. Man, we deserve a trophy for this, because we do it so freaking well. I want to talk about how it's quietly sabotaging your motivation. Maybe you're not feeling motivated, but maybe it's because the night before you were scrolling and seeing all of these transformation posts, or you were listening to people's stories, and you feel like there are little subtle voices inside your own brain, ones you may not even recognize, telling you you're not cut out for this. I want to talk about the mindset shift that will hopefully help free you from it, and how to use inspiration without turning it into insecurity.

All right, let's get into it. I hope you guys enjoy this episode today. How I want to start this off is to call it what it is. We live in a highlight reel culture. Let that sink in. That's literally what we live in. We're constantly seeing the after photos. We're constantly seeing the aesthetic pictures, the aesthetics of the meals. We're seeing the scale drops. We're seeing the strength PRs. But what we're not seeing, and what I wish social media did better with this, is the years and years of hard work, the struggles, the plateaus, the "I'm going to give up," the doubt, the discipline that that person had to go through to get there.

Not many people wake up and, first thing in the morning, open up Instagram and say, yo, bro, I do not feel like doing this today, but I'm going to go do it. You see the after of it all. You see the wins. You see the transformations. And I feel like this is a trap, because when you compare your current reality to someone else's curated moment, you end up feeling like you're not enough, or you're not doing enough, or you're so behind and have so much work to do, or you're failing.

And that feeling, whether you recognize it or not, kills your momentum, because you either push yourself too hard trying to catch up, or you just stop altogether because it feels pointless. It feels like, why am I even doing this? Here's what I want you guys to remember: you're not behind. You're just on a different timeline than the people you're seeing on Instagram who are showing all of these after photos. You are on your own journey. Okay?

Let's talk about what comparison actually does beneath the surface. I just said you may not realize how it's killing your momentum. When you see these curated moments and compare your current reality to them, the insecurities pop up: I'm behind, I'm not enough, I'm failing, I can't do this, or whatever it is. What's actually happening beneath the surface is so much deeper than just a moment of insecurity.

First and foremost, it 1000% steals your joy. Let's say you're looking at all these curated moments, but the day before, you hit a personal win. Maybe you nailed your macros. Maybe you crushed your workout. Maybe you're finally feeling confident in your jeans, maybe you've gone down a pant size, or someone commented the other day because they saw your back muscles. Whatever it is, you had a win. And suddenly it doesn't feel like enough when you see someone else doing better. That is literally robbing you of all of your joy on your own personal journey, on your own timeline.

Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

The second thing it can do is cloud your vision. You stop focusing on your goals and start chasing someone else's version of success, and then you wonder why nothing's clicking. You see a woman post a workout she did, and you see the body she has, and you're like, oh, I should be doing this type of workout instead of whatever I have programmed for myself right now for my goals. These things are happening deeper, and you may not even realize it, because you may not be attuned to it that way.

And that's okay. That's what I want to do with this episode: pull it to the surface, so you can say, damn, I was sitting on the couch last week and that's exactly what was happening. That's the exact feeling I was experiencing. I want you to know that's okay. But there's also a way to shift it, and we're going to get to that in a second.

The last thing it does is create self-doubt. You start questioning everything. Should I be doing this workout? Am I doing this right? Am I eating enough? Should I be eating what she's eating? Should I be doing glutes and shoulders three times a week? Maybe I'm just not built for this. It creates a ripple effect of thoughts that go into emotions, then into feelings, then into actions, and they keep you feeling stuck. That self-doubt isn't coming from a lack of results. It's coming from measuring yourself against someone else's results.

So how do you shift out of comparison and back into your own personal confidence? Here it is. Here's what you do. You stay in your own damn lane, my friend. You stay in your own damn lane. You have to stop measuring your success with someone else's ruler. That's not fair to you. You are on your own timeline. You are on your own journey. You are where you are supposed to be right now, in this moment, in this current reality. Everything you are working towards, hitting your macros, eating the food you should be eating based on the plan you are following for you, is exactly where you should be right now on your own journey. And I'm saying this not in comparison to somebody else.

So here's a mindset shift. Their progress doesn't take away from yours. Their timeline is not your timeline. Their journey has nothing to do with your own personal worth. You don't need to catch up. You don't need to commit differently. You need to commit to showing up for you, for your goals, for your health, for your energy, for your strength, for the vision you are going towards. Not them. You.

Because your results will only come when you stop looking sideways and start looking directly at you. Start locking in on yourself. That is all you need. The plans you are following, if you're working with a coach, are made specifically for you. The things you see on Instagram are made specifically for them.

And let me remind you of the things you see on Instagram. That person may not be hitting their macros 100%. But do they share that? Probably not. I don't think there's one fitness influencer who literally updates on a daily basis. And if I'm wrong, DM me, please. I would totally love to follow this person, and more people should be following them, because they're real, raw, and showing it all. Oh, that was a good line. But if there's somebody out there popping up every single day saying, I hit my macros 100%, and I did my workout today, and I am flying on rainbows, let me meet that person.

Because that's literally what social media is. Everybody's flying on rainbows. Nobody's showing the struggle. Nobody's showing the grit. No one's showing the plateaus, or the times they wanted to give up, or the times they didn't even want to go to the gym but ended up at the gym anyway. Well, there are probably people showing that, but you get my point.

The whole overall conversation of this podcast is: don't compare yourself to somebody else. Because don't get me wrong, inspiration is extremely powerful. Seeing what's possible is motivating as hell. But when inspiration turns into insecurity, that's when we have a problem. If everything I was saying earlier, about how it steals joy, how you're comparing yourself to someone else's timeline, how it's clouding your vision and creating these insecurities, was triggering for you, then you need to understand that that's a problem. And that's okay. It's different when you look at a photo and say, damn, she put a lot of work in, and I can do the same thing. That's inspiration. Somebody else has done it, so I can do it too.

So here's how I would recommend staying inspired without spiraling. Staying inspired, spiraled. Oh my gosh. Say that 10 times fast. Stay inspired without spiraling.

One, like I just said, follow people who show the whole journey, not just the highlight reel. If someone actually does show up like that 100%, please send me their Instagram page. I would love to follow them, and I would love to get them on here to have this type of conversation.

Unfollow anyone who makes you feel small or like you're not doing enough, or who brings up these types of insecurities, like feeling anxious or defeated. That is only going to add to the insecurity along your fitness journey. Finding somebody who's being real, raw, and honest about their journey is the person you want to follow, because you're going to realize, hey, I'm not alone. You're going to feel like you have somebody in your corner, even if they're an Instagram person.

I do my best to show you guys the real, raw, and honest side of everything I do on social media. That lets you know, hey, Nikkiey didn't feel like going to the gym today, but she did. And I'm kind of feeling the same way, and if I go, I'm going to feel way better. We're a team, right? That's how it feels. So curate your environment. Follow people who show the whole journey, and unfollow people who don't and who make you feel like you're not enough. Unfollow those people quick. Spend the weekend doing that.

Another way to be inspired without spiraling is to use their success as evidence, not pressure. Like I just said, if she did it, it means you can do it too, but in your own way and at your own pace. I remember when I first started my journey over 10 years ago, this highlight reel culture was already going strong, and that's what I saw on Instagram. I was really inspired by women's physiques. I was like, dang. But I was inspired.

And don't get me wrong, I've experienced comparison, the thief of all joy, and X, Y, and Z, especially when I was in bodybuilding. Oh my gosh, really, really bad. When I was getting closer and closer to a show, I would go to the Instagram pages of the women I knew were going to be on stage with me. I know y'all have been in the same boat as me if you've competed. I'm just being honest with you guys. I would look at the women I was competing against and compare myself to them. But if you can look at it as inspiration instead, if she did it, it means you can too, knowing you can do it in your own way, on your own time, at your own pace. Because it is your own timeline. It is your own personal journey.

And most importantly, what I've found to be one of the biggest keys to being really grateful for my own personal journey is that you celebrate others while staying focused on you. When you see that person online who's winning, having the transformation, sharing the story, clap for her. And then keep working for you. Because someone else's win doesn't mean you're losing. It means you're doing it your own way and at your own pace, and you're going to get to where you want to be in time. Your timeline is just different from the other person's. Okay?

So let me say this as clearly as I possibly can. You are not behind. You're just in progress. And progress doesn't need to be flashy. It doesn't need to be look-at-me to be powerful. So if you've been caught in the scroll, the doom scrolling, downing yourself and feeling all the ways you're not enough, thinking you should be further along, this is your reminder to stay in your own lane.

You are enough. You are not broken. Whatever you're feeling isn't your fault, if you feel like there's guilt attached to it. You are on your own timeline. And comparison is a distraction from your own power. So drop it. Drop it. Refocus. Keep going.

That's all I've got for you in this episode, because I feel like it was short, sweet, and to the point. Run your own race. That's all I've got to say. Run your own race. There's nowhere you need to be tomorrow. Nowhere you need to be next week. Nowhere you need to be in three months. Even if summer is coming up, guys, it's your own journey. You don't need to crash diet. You don't need to do things quicker and faster. Just do it at your own pace. It's going to be way more sustainable and way more enjoyable.

More importantly, the takeaway from this episode is this: when you're scrolling, because we all do it, just watch how you feel while you're doing it. Be more attuned, softening into the emotions that may not feel empowering. If it doesn't feel empowering, stop scrolling and unfollow the person who made you feel that way. And start following people you feel you can celebrate, cheer on, and be inspired by. Okay?

So if this episode hit home for you guys, please send it to a friend. Screenshot it. Tag me on social media. Let me know what specifically resonated with you most in this episode. And if you're finally ready to build the kind of progress that really sticks, without trying to keep up with everyone else, come join us inside of WarriorBabe. Go check out warriorbabe.com or click the links in the description below this podcast episode.

All right, you guys. Until next time, stay in your own damn lane, my friend. And trust it. Trust that you're on the right path and your time is coming. All right? I love you all, and I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out.

Real quick: if this episode resonated with you or gave you the push you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it, and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.