How to Stop Feeling Stuck and Start Showing Up for Yourself

Nikkiey: "I'll never be consistent, so why even try?" "I have tried programs before and I couldn't follow through." "I don't have the time. My life is just way too busy." If you're still holding on to these stories, it's no wonder you feel like you're stuck in this same exact pattern. But here's what I personally learned, and here's what I've seen our babes be coached through: you can rewrite this narrative.

What's going on, everybody? Hey, my friends. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong and feel insanely confident. I'm your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to today's episode, episode number 264.

Actually, before I dive into what the topic is going to be about: thank you, my friends. Thank you for answering my little question box on my Instagram story the other day, where I put out a request for ideas, topics, things you wanted to learn and things you wanted to have answered. I asked you guys to give me topics, and you gave me a ton. I appreciate you, because I felt like I was in a dry spell of topics to bring to this podcast. You reignited my creative mind to come to these episodes with new, fresh ideas, or ideas I didn't even think about that y'all want to hear about. So thank you.

Today's episode is inspired by one of the requests you put in. I have so many, so gear up for the next couple of weeks. I'm going to be diving into the majority of the topics you mentioned. But today's episode is one that's going to land pretty deep, I'll be honest. You know I love the mindset aspect of things, because I think it's so important. Most of the time, it's not the workouts and the macros that hold you back. It's the mind. So today we're going to talk about something I don't feel a lot of people talk about enough.

We're going to talk about the mental barriers that keep you from even wanting to show up for your higher self. I've recorded a couple of episodes where I've talked about becoming your higher self, and how you need to start showing up like her right now, because then you're going to close the gap to getting to her quicker. But there's usually resistance to even trying to start that process. That resistance comes from these invisible stories, these patterns that keep you stuck where you are. It's the quiet voice of, "Why even bother? I'm too far gone."

That's what I want to talk about today, because if we're being really honest, some of you are probably listening right now thinking, "I don't even know if I want to do this anymore. I signed up for X, Y and Z, but I'm feeling stuck. Why even bother?" Before we dive into this, I want you to know that you are seen, heard and understood. You are not broken. What you are feeling is valid. You're not lazy. You're not unmotivated. You are just stuck in old stories.

Today I'm going to show you how to start breaking through them, so you can step into the other side of those walls: "I'm going to show up for my highest self today. I'm going to show up acting like her today." Once we break down those walls, on the other side you are the most confident, the most vibrant, the strongest self. That person is waiting for you, but we've got to break through these old stories and patterns that make you feel unmotivated, that make you feel lazy.

So let's start by naming some of these barriers. I'm taking into account what I've heard women say when I've coached them at the beginning stages of their journey. I want to name these barriers because maybe they resonate with you. Maybe they don't, maybe I'm missing a few, but maybe a few will. Bringing awareness to them is everything. If we can name these barriers and you can have awareness of them, that's half the battle. And when you have awareness of them, you can bring honesty to the situation.

For most of us, the mental blocks might sound like: "I'll never be consistent, so why even try?" "I have tried programs before and I couldn't follow through." "I don't have the time. My life is just way too busy." See how those are old stories? "I don't have the time. My life is too busy." Your life is too busy? Put yourself first, right? "I'm too old to change." "It's easier to just keep doing what I've always done."

Do any of those sound familiar? They're quiet whispers that keep you in your comfort zone on a daily basis. And the crazy thing is that they're powerful because they feel so freaking real and so true. But here's the thing: they're not facts. They're just stories. Over however many years you've been alive on this planet, whether you're 35, 45, 55 or 65, you've experienced so many things that these stories have gotten wired into your mind. Stories of trying, or failing, or being told that you just weren't enough, or that you couldn't be or do what you set your mind to.

And you know what's even more powerful than these stories? Your ability to see them, and then your ability to start choosing something different. If you can see these stories for what they are, they're not facts. They're just stories that got wired along the way. Maybe you gave up on a program because you were too busy and you didn't have the time. But that's just a story from that time of your life, one you wired into your mind, and now you feel that same way about every single program you try. If you give yourself the ability to see them, you can start to choose something different.

So first: let me bring awareness to these stories. Let me name these barriers. Then let me see them for what they actually are. They're stories, not facts. And now I want to choose something different.

But before we start choosing something different, I want to share where these stories come from, because I think it's something so many women need to hear. Most of these mental barriers, these stories or patterns, didn't come from you. That's probably going to be a light bulb moment, or a mind-blowing emoji or something like that. I feel like one just needs to go there.

They come from messages you absorbed growing up about your body, about your worth, about your role as a woman. Or they came from diet culture that told you you'll never be enough unless you're smaller, or thinner, or X, Y and Z. Or, and this is probably where the majority come from for you, they come from past failures that made you think you're not capable of being successful in the next program you try.

I feel like that's one of the biggest things I've heard, and one of the hardest for people to break through, because they latch on to that wired story of something they've tried before. Whether it be keto, intermittent fasting, or program after program after program, they have all these past failures because they haven't had any success with them. It's been 10 years. It's been 15 years. And they found inadequacy in that. They decided they're not capable because they haven't been able to follow through for themselves.

Listen to me. If you're still holding on to these stories, it's no wonder you feel like you're stuck in the same exact pattern. But here's what I personally learned, and here's what I've seen our babes be coached through: you can rewrite this narrative. It's easier said than done, but you can totally do it.

You can choose to say: "I'm not defined by what happened to me. I can create a new story. I can make myself feel safe in a better dynamic with this program that I feel passionate about, that I know may be able to get me to where I want to be. I deserve to feel strong. I deserve to feel confident. I deserve to feel alive. I deserve to feel sexy. I deserve to feel wanted. I deserve to feel enough, no matter what's happened to me in the past." That's you rewriting those narratives. That's where the real change can begin.

Let me backtrack to remind you what needs to happen along the way. You need to start naming these barriers, like "I don't have enough time, I'm too busy," or "This is something I've failed at before, and I'm not capable of doing this program in the future." Bring awareness to this. When you bring awareness to it, you're going to be able to see it for what it is: a story, not a fact. Then you're going to be able to choose something different. And by choosing something different, you're rewriting this narrative. You can choose to say things that are more empowering and supportive of your higher self: "I'm not defined by what happened to me. I deserve to feel all of these things, regardless of what has happened to me in the past."

If you can start there, really, that's the start. I've talked about how you can get to your future self and how you can start showing up for her. But you've got to be able to meet this without judgment. I need to say that, because for so many of us, it's easier said than done. We can look at all the past things we've done, or felt, or gone through, or diet culture, and we can judge ourselves, or judge the exterior things that led us to create these stories for ourselves. Instead, I want you to approach it with a little more curiosity.

Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

Okay, I want to go even deeper here, because I hope some of you are feeling this hard right now. You're like, "Yep, Nikkiey, you're totally speaking to me. I feel this. What you're saying is really resonating with me. I've been creating these stories, holding on to these stories, and they've been morphed into my mind from all these things in the past. They're still here. They're still wired. They're still showing up in the experiences I have today."

There's a moment in every single journey where you just stop wanting it. How many times have you been in a journey, maybe even a relationship, where you just stopped wanting it? You're so tired of trying. You're so tired of failing. And you wonder, "What's the point?"

Trust that I'm in that sandbox with you too. I've been there, feeling like the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be was just way, way, way too big. How many of you maybe have 25 pounds to lose, and you feel like the gap to where you want to be is just so big? Like, "I'm never going to be her." Is that what's going on in your mind? "I'm never going to be her." Or you see all of these women on the WarriorBabe testimonial page achieving these things, but you're in the mindset of, "I'm 50 pounds overweight. I'm 10 pounds overweight. I feel like I'm a slob. I'm just never going to be her. The gap is so big. Maybe it's just easier to accept feeling stuck."

But you know what I realized for myself, in that "I'm never going to be her, maybe it's easier to just feel this way"? That part of me didn't want it. And it's so true. I've said in previous episodes that you really have to want the part of you that you're working to become. You have to really want that. That part of me that didn't want it was really the part of me that was truly afraid. Afraid of change. Afraid of failing. Afraid of seeing how much further I had to go.

I'm sure some of you are feeling the same exact way. If you're in that place right now, know that you are not alone. That version of you, the one who doesn't even want to try or doesn't want to put in the effort, is just trying to keep you safe. She doesn't want to feel like she failed again. She doesn't want to feel afraid that she went into something and it's the same pattern over and over and over again. She's just scared. But I say this with love, because it could be a painful moment realizing these things: that version of you is not in charge anymore.

I'm going to repeat that, because I want you all to understand and accept it. There's a moment in your fitness journey when you just stop wanting it. Life gets too busy. These old patterns keep showing up. You're not consistent. You keep flopping on the weekends, because that's how you've always acted and how you've always been. So now you're carrying the old you into the present you, and you're like, "So what's the point? I'm never going to be her. Maybe it's just better to feel stuck. Maybe I'm just going to stay comfortable where I'm at."

That's just you being afraid. Afraid of what could happen if you actually succeed. Afraid of that change. Or afraid of repeating this cycle of failing over and over and over again. And when you have people supporting you, it's not just that you're failing yourself. You feel like you're failing them. So when you have another opportunity right in front of you to help you get where you want to be, you go backwards, because you're like, "I'm never going to be her. I'm not going to be able to get past these past failures."

Know that that part of you is just scared. You can honor her. You can see her. That's what this whole episode is about: seeing these things. I don't want you to just wash that old you away. When I say she's not in charge anymore, I say it with love. You can give her gentle compassion and love, because she's served you up until this point. But it's okay to start breaking down that wall.

Now, how do you start breaking down that wall? What can you actually do when you feel stuck behind these walls?

The first step is to acknowledge the story. Acknowledge the story that's been on repeat in your mind. Stop running from it. I want you to name it. I want you to say out loud, "I'm telling myself I can't do this because..." and fill in the story. Then here's the magic question. Ask yourself: is that true? Is that really true? Or is it just a story that's kept you playing small?

Once you do that, the second thing you can do is connect with your higher self. Start to visualize the version of you who's already living the life you want, who's showing up for herself even when it's hard. What does she believe about herself? And along with that, what does she no longer tolerate?

I'll use past failures as an example, because you're going to fail moving forward. But this future you, this higher you, and I'm speaking from personal experience, isn't going to accept failure and give up. She's going to rewrite the narrative by looking at it differently: "Okay, I may have quote-unquote failed at this, or I didn't do this the right way. What can I learn from this? How can I do it differently next time?" That's what keeps you climbing the ladder to your higher self, rather than completely shutting down.

So what are you no longer going to tolerate? What do you believe about yourself in that future state? Are you somebody who is busy all the time? Are you going to believe that about yourself? Are you going to believe you're too busy to make time to focus on your health and your well-being, to take action on a daily basis, to eat better, to work out and get your workouts done? Are you going to believe that about you?

The third thing is implementing this on a daily basis by taking one small action every day. Because here's the truth: taking action is what kills your self-doubt. The more action you take that's in alignment with what you believe about your future self, what she no longer tolerates and how she shows up for herself even when it's hard, the more you kill the self-doubt and the stories. You start to unwire the stories that don't serve you and rewire a new narrative. And you're going to notice that after two months, three months, four months of doing this, those old stories will still show up, but not as heavily or as weighed down as they can feel.

When you start implementing this, the real payoff is the woman you're becoming. When you start breaking through these mental barriers, when you stop letting these old stories run the show, you start to see the woman you're meant to be. The one who doesn't skip workouts because she's tired, who finds a way to move because she knows who she is, who fuels her body like she deserves it because she knows her worth. She feels her feelings but doesn't let them dictate her actions. That woman is already you. You just have to stop playing small and start showing up for her.

Your feelings along the way are just the old stories trying to trickle their way through. Feelings are valid. You can feel them. But you don't let them dictate your next action. You don't let them hold you small and keep you as the old you. You've got to act as your future self would act. That's where you take the action and start to show up like her. You just have to stop playing small and start showing up like her.

I feel like I just unleashed an episode on you guys. If this woke something up in you, please share it with a friend. I want to keep creating a ripple effect of women who are done living by old rules and are open to doing the work that allows them to go deeper within themselves.

This can be applied in all areas of life. But since this is a fitness and nutrition podcast, this is the one bucket of your life you can take a look at. There's relationships, marriage, friendships, work, wealth, all these areas. But in health and fitness, you can look at how you show up like this. And if you start to apply what we walked through in this episode, you can then ripple it into the other buckets of your life.

And trust me, I've seen women do this. They start in this bucket, and then everything else in their entire world changes. I want nothing more than that for you. I want you to break down these barriers for good. I want you to know you're not dictated by these past stories. They're not facts, and you can rewrite them.

So until next time, I love you guys. Stay strong. And most importantly, like I said earlier, stay curious. Keep reaching for that version of you. She's already there, just waiting for you to step into her. You've got to do the work to get there, and this is a crash course on the work you can do to get there. Love you guys. See you in the next episode. Peace out.

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