How to Stop Obsessing Over the Scale and Measure Progress

Nikkiey: You need to be focusing on how consistently you are showing up on a daily basis. If you are consistently showing up, you are driving momentum for yourself. If you are driving momentum for yourself, you are consistently showing evidence to yourself that you can follow through on building strength, on progressing forward, on following through with the promises that you've kept to yourself.

What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong and feel insanely confident. I'm your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome, my friends, to episode number 287. Today's episode is probably going to be a little bit more of a reminder for you guys, or it'll be exactly what you all need to hear.

Either way, I hope that this episode lands for you in a way that will help you navigate the season that you're in. I know so many of you have kids going back to school, whether this is the first week or next week is the first week, or maybe they go back after Labor Day, and you're just trying to survive right now with this transition. And maybe you're putting yourself on the back burner. Maybe you're not getting your workouts done as often as you hoped you would, or your nutrition isn't as nailed in as you'd hope it would be.

What I want to make today's episode about is the scale. Maybe you are stepping on that scale. It's the first thing that you do when you wake up. And you are letting that scale dictate your mood. You are letting it dictate your confidence. You are letting it dictate whether or not you're allowed to feel good in your skin that day, amidst all of the chaotic things that you have going on right now. So I started this episode knowing that I feel what you're going through with navigating this season of back to school and figuring out your new routines. And I just want to remind you to give yourself a little bit of grace. If your workouts aren't 100%, if your nutrition isn't 100% right now, when you step on the scale, it's going to look different. But I want to remind you that obsessing over that number doesn't tell you the whole story. Because I've been there too. I've obsessed over that number.

I've gone through chaotic seasons of my life too and stepped on the scale and been like, why is it up? And I let it dictate my mood, my confidence, whether I'm allowed to feel good in my body that day or not. What I've seen, and what our coaches have seen coaching thousands of women, is that freedom doesn't come from hitting a certain number, hitting a certain weight. It comes from shifting your entire mindset about what real progress looks like, and also from honoring and giving yourself grace for the season you are in.

And let me remind you, my friends, two weeks, three weeks is not going to derail the progress that you've been making for the last six months, eight months, two months, even one month. You've got to stop looking at it in terms of timelines like that, and remember that you are on a journey that is the long game. If you can honor the fact that your journey is going to take you a year or a year plus, then in these little seasons in between, these chaotic weeks, you're going to give yourself a lot of grace, understanding the bigger picture of the journey that you are on.

So one, I just want you all to give yourself grace in the season that you're in right now. Two, I want to dive into why obsessing over the scale is keeping you stuck regardless of what season you're in, remind you what you're actually craving underneath that number, and bring you back to how to build a strength-focused mindset, mentally and physically, and how to measure progress in a way that makes you feel so powerful and so unstoppable. So for any of you that are hung up, maybe in the season that I just mentioned, or hung up on the number you see on the scale, or if you're new to the journey and scale focused, or even if you're six months to a year in and you hear what I'm saying but it hasn't fully landed for you yet, I hope these are reminders for you, no matter where you're at in your journey, that the scale doesn't give you the whole picture.

Okay, so I want to start with what I know to be true for most women. The scale isn't just a tool. It is literally an emotional roller coaster. You wake up, you weigh yourself, and depending on what it says, you either feel proud or you feel ashamed. You feel motivated or you feel defeated. You are on track for the rest of the day, or you start spiraling mentally.

And living in those spaces is not just annoying, it's dangerous. Because when your entire identity is wrapped up in a number, you stop seeing the bigger picture. And tying it back to what I said a couple of minutes ago, the bigger picture is the long-term game that you are signing up to play when you say, hey, I want to lose weight, or I want to build more muscle. It is not just a one-year thing that you sign up for. It is a long-term lifestyle approach that you are signing up for when you say you want that type of result. You want to lose weight, but are you willing to put in that type of commitment? That could be a whole other podcast.

We've had women come into WarriorBabe looking stronger, looking leaner, looking happier, but they're crying on a check-in call because the scale went up a pound and a half. Here's the truth, my friends, and I need this to land in your mind. The scale can't measure your strength. It can't measure your discipline. It can't measure your consistency. And it can't measure the internal commitment, the fire that you've built up until this season that you're in.

Let me tie it back to the season you're in with the kids going back to school. That scale can't measure the internal fire you've had for the last couple of months. When you step on the scale this weekend or next weekend, it can't measure all of the work that you've put in. With the stress that you may be under with the kids going back to school right now, that scale might be going up a little bit, but that's not the whole picture. And that is also not you gaining fat. That's probably just stress, and stress correlates to water weight, and water weight is going to show up on the scale. It's just gravity. It's just you versus gravity. That number on the scale doesn't know your muscle mass. It doesn't know how much water you drank that day, how much stress you're under. It doesn't know how much sodium you had the night before.

It doesn't know if you're on your period. It doesn't know these things. It's literally just you versus gravity. That's it. And yet most women give it so much more power than it deserves.

So I want to get real with you. When you say you want to weigh 135 pounds or 140 pounds or 145 pounds, what you really mean is, I want to feel confident. I want to feel in control. I want to feel proud of what I see in the mirror.

The number is symbolic. It represents a version of yourself you believe will finally feel, quote unquote, enough. But I've seen women hit their goal weight and still feel insecure, still feel unhappy, still pick themselves apart and still feel like it's not enough. Why? Because they are chasing a number instead of chasing a feeling, a state, an identity.

You know the main pillars that I talk about: mindset, nutrition, strength training, then hormones and all the other things. Mindset comes first because of this identity, this state. I've talked about it in so many episodes before. So many of you chase a number until you have the confidence, or the wake-up call, or the light bulb goes off, that the scale literally means nothing. Let me just burn it, or let me slide it in the closet, because I know it doesn't serve a purpose and I'm aware enough to know how much it triggers me. So I'm not going to let it run the show. I'm going to learn how to be in control and I'm going to start chasing a feeling.

And I'll tell you this right now: you don't need a certain number to feel proud. If you can get your mindset right, as I've talked about in so many episodes before, if you can learn identity-based actions along your fitness journey, if you can really let these concepts I share with you sink in, then these words will permeate through you when I say you don't need a certain number to feel proud. You need progress, you need strength, you need momentum, you need evidence that you're showing up for yourself consistently. That's what builds confidence. Not the scale, not the weight, but the work that you do.

So you focus on progressing forward every single day. You go do your workout, and you're consistent with that. You focus on the non-scale victories. You focus on adding five or 10 pounds to an exercise on a weekly or biweekly basis. You have the momentum of waking up, logging your food and eating the meals that you prepped for yourself. That compiles into evidence that gives you way more belief in yourself, so you can trust yourself to continue taking these actions. By doing that every single day, you create momentum. The second you stop doing it, you dip in momentum and you dip in evidence. These are the things you should be focusing on rather than a number on a scale.

You need to be focusing on how consistently you are showing up on a daily basis. If you are consistently showing up, you are driving momentum for yourself. If you are driving momentum for yourself, you are consistently showing evidence to yourself that you can follow through on building strength, on progressing forward, on following through with the promises that you've kept to yourself, on tracking your macros, on going to the gym, on figuring out what works for you and what doesn't work for you. And if you do that consistently, that's what's going to build your confidence in this arena. Not a number. Not the scale. Not you chasing, I want to be 135 pounds, I want to be 130 pounds, I want to be 140 pounds because that's what my body feels good at. Not chasing that, but chasing the work.

Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, WarriorBabe is here for you. At WarriorBabe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results, and results that last. Don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com/apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com/apply. All right, let's get back to the show.

When you stop obsessing over the weight and you start focusing on strength, everything changes. You go from the mentality of, how small can I get? That's the narrative so many of you grew up following and chasing after. How small can I get? How skinny can I look? How small can I look, like that person in the magazine? Can I look like these people in the marketing? How small can I get? Instead, when you stop obsessing over your weight and you start focusing on strength, you go from that to, how powerful can I feel?

Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, WarriorBabe is here for you. At WarriorBabe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results, and results that last. Don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com/apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com/apply. All right, let's get back to the show.

You go from, I need to burn calories, I need to watch my Apple Watch at the end of the workout and make sure that I burned this many calories, and then I need to go do cardio because I need to close all of my rings, to, I want to build muscle. Is this landing for you? When you stop obsessing over weight, you're no longer saying, I need to burn calories, I need to close my rings, I need to go for a run, I need to do X, Y and Z. Instead you go, oh, I want to build muscle. I want to feel strong. And you go from, am I skinny yet? Do I look skinny? To, did I crush that lift today?

And the best part is, when you start shifting to being strength focused, your body starts changing. Isn't that crazy? Think about the type of mentality someone has when they're focused on a certain number and chasing how many calories they burn. It's almost a lack mentality. It's like they just aren't enough yet. Sure, their body changes, but think about the state of mind that person is in. Then think about when you start shifting to strength. And by the way, your body starts changing too. But think about how much more empowering it is when you're focusing on, man, did I crush that lift today? I feel so good. I want to build muscle because I want to feel strong. How powerful can I really feel after I go lift this weight? How powerful can I feel when I say no to the things that don't serve the goals that I'm after right now? How powerful can I feel when I say no to going out and having multiple drinks with friends? Maybe we'll go out and have one. But how good does it feel when I set boundaries for myself?

That right there should paint the different perspectives of two people who could be walking side by side along their journey. One person is focusing on that number, focusing on calories, focusing on, am I skinny yet, letting the scale define her. That is a very troubled, lack mindset. And the other one is walking along the same journey, focusing on building muscle, strength, longevity, being healthy, learning tools and strategies that have her eat more and focus on being strong rather than skinny, and focusing on the feeling of being powerful with strength training.

It's two different people walking the same path, but with two totally different mentalities. When you focus on the strength mindset, you look tighter, you look leaner, you look more athletic, you move better, and you hold yourself totally differently than the scale-oriented person. And the scale-oriented person, because I've been in this position before, and I'm sure many of you have until you had a wake-up call, will most likely look like a skinny-fat version of herself. You'll just look kind of soft, flat. You'll look like the majority of people trying to get on their fitness journey. You don't really stand out. Standing out is looking tighter, leaner, more athletic, strong, healthy and toned, where people look at you in the gym and they're like, man, what are you doing?

So many of you have gotten that. I know because I get DMs from you all the time. You're like, Nikkiey, thank you so much for this podcast and this episode. I'm going to the gym and I'm doing the strength training and really lifting. I'm six months into it and I look different. I feel different. People are recognizing it. You just look different, and you move better, because you move with confidence rather than with this doomsday effect of having the scale looming over your mind. You know what I mean? Your wins aren't scale based anymore. They're self based. You start saying things like, man, I just feel so strong. I just hit a new PR. I'm lifting heavier than last week. I'm not bloated anymore. I feel alive again. That's real progress.

And now maybe some of you listening are like, yeah, I'm still in that doomsday scale mindset. I feel you, Nikkiey. Every word you're saying is really resonating with me. I get it. And I understand that for those of you who want to shift over to the other type of mindset, that isn't easy. So let me call it out. Why do so many women stay stuck in this scale obsession? It's because it's what they've known for decades. We've been trained to believe that thin equals successful, that fat equals lazy, and that weight equals your worth. And let's be honest, the scale is easy to track. It's instant feedback. It's black and white. But lifting heavier, taking progress photos weekly, paying attention to your biofeedback, that takes intention and patience.

So I can understand why people stay in the scale obsession, because we live in a society where we want instant feedback. We want to be connected to Wi-Fi all of the time. If the thing doesn't load in five seconds, you're closing all your apps, disconnecting Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and turning them back on in hopes that it connects faster. I'm sorry, but lifting heavier, putting on muscle, building strength and the work that it takes, that takes intention and patience when you're trying to live that type of lifestyle. So I get it.

It's not instant feedback. But here's what I need you to hear. Simple doesn't mean better. Relying on the scale alone is like judging your entire financial health based on your bank balance. You could be broke but have $5,000 in your account. You could be wealthy and reinvesting every single penny. The number doesn't tell you the full story. And it's the same with your body.

So what I want to help you with, leaving this episode today, is to redefine what success actually looks like. Think about it like this. These are 10 different ways I want you to measure your progress rather than the scale. One, how consistent are you with hitting your macros? Two, are you getting stronger week after week? If you're able to write these down, write them down. If you're driving, take mental note. If you're sitting in the passenger seat, open up your notes app and take these notes. Then, instead of jumping on the scale every morning, read two of these to yourself and let your answer dictate where you need to show up better, not the scale.

So I'll repeat. Number one, how consistent are you with hitting your macros? Number two, are you getting stronger week after week? Number three, do your clothes fit better? Four, are you sleeping better? Are you sleeping deeper? Five, are your cravings less intense? Six, are your energy levels more stable throughout the day?

Seven, are you less bloated? Eight, is your cycle more regular, if you still get your cycle on a monthly basis? Nine, are you less reactive to stress? And 10, do you like the woman that you're becoming? Because that's the real glow-up, when your focus shifts from shrinking to becoming. That goes back to shifting your focus from lack to strength.

Because I'll tell you who you can become when you stop obsessing over the number on the scale. I've seen it happen to so many women inside of WarriorBabe, and I've seen it happen personally in myself. You become a woman who trains to get stronger, not just to get smaller. You focus on strength. You focus not on looking skinnier, but on looking sexier with muscle. Whenever I see a woman who has muscle, I'm like, damn, she put in the work. She's dedicated, she's disciplined, she's determined. It gives you a different stature. You look at someone differently when they look fit. You know they're healthy. You know they care about their health. It's so much more than words when you look at someone's body that's strong. And that's the type of woman you can become. You train to get stronger, not smaller.

The woman you're becoming when you stop obsessing over the number on the scale fuels her body instead of punishing it. That goes back to the lack mindset of burning calories, where you're punishing yourself for not being enough. Instead, the person you're becoming is fueling her body. You know that nutrition is so important for the type of results you're looking to gain. You want more calories because you know that fuels your muscle growth. You're also tracking your progress like a pro. You're tracking your progress through photos, through your PRs, through your biofeedback. And when you stop obsessing over the scale, you feel confident in your clothes.

You feel confident that you're on your own timeline. You feel confident in your skin. You're not obsessing over, I need to accomplish X, Y and Z goal in X amount of time. You're confident with how you're presenting yourself and who you are. And literally, you can walk into a room and not care what the scale says. It's that type of energy. You walk into a room and you're somebody who's like, I don't care what the scale says. I'm just showing up, because my energy speaks louder than a number ever could.

It's like you walk into the weight room and someone walks up to you and asks, how much do you weigh? If someone did that to me right now, I'd say, I have no idea. Around 145, give or take. I can't remember the last time I weighed myself, because I'm literally everything that I'm saying in this episode. I was that, but I am this now. And I know a lot of you can resonate with that, or you're inspired to get to that point. My energy speaks louder than 145 pounds ever could. Like I said a couple minutes ago, the way my body looks speaks louder for me right now, because I focus on this, not that.

That's the version of you that lasts. The one you're becoming is the version of you that doesn't fall off every time the scale moves. Think about that. How many times have you allowed the scale to dictate how you feel? If you're happy with what the scale tells you, you're on track that day. If you're not happy, you spiral and fall off track. The version of you that you're becoming, the one that's not obsessed with the scale, doesn't fall off every time the scale moves. Because I've seen my own number fluctuate back up to 150, even sometimes 153. And I'm like, damn, I gained seven pounds. I know it's not fat, but I gained it somewhere. I know it's not all muscle, because that would be a lot of muscle in a short period of time.

But I'm like, all right, I just have to get back to the consistent habits I have with eating. I need to eat better. That's the self-awareness you've got to get to. Truly, if you can have self-awareness along your journey, it is an absolute game changer, because you'll be able to say, ah, I understand why this is going on. I've been having a couple more drinks than I should lately, or I'm not really tracking my macros consistently. That's why those questions I gave you are measuring real progress.

And going into those 10 questions, you have to have self-awareness to answer them honestly. You've got to be objective with yourself. Take out the feelings and show up objectively when you answer those questions. Because if you can do that, you'll get back on the right track if things are off. And then the person you're becoming is rooted in truth. You're rooted in strength. And you know that with all the work you're doing, it's all earned. You're not guessing, if you can do all the things I just said: self-awareness, answering those questions honestly, not being obsessed with the scale. This is the person you are becoming.

Okay? So for anyone who needed to hear that, if you're still obsessing over the scale, I hope that landed. If you're a couple months into your journey and you know what I'm saying and just need to get back to it again, I hope this landed for you. Or if you're five years in and you're like, the scale ain't nothing to me, I am where you are, Nikkiey, I'm feeling everything you're saying about who you want to become, then good. I'm glad. I'm glad that you can at least understand where many people have been.

And if that is you, and this episode was a reminder, a pep talk, but you don't obsess over the scale, I ask that you help somebody else you know who is still obsessing over the scale, or who comes into your space in the next weeks or months obsessing over the scale. Help them not be obsessed with the scale. Send them this episode. Okay? That's all I ask. I'll make one more ask. If this resonated with you, please screenshot the episode, share it to Instagram, tag me at Nikkiey Stott, tag The WarriorBabe Show, and let me know if it resonated with you.

All right. More importantly, I appreciate you getting this podcast out to people, spreading the word and sharing it with women who need to hear it. I'm only one person, but the more you can share it and spread it, the more it gets to more and more women. And that's how we, collectively as a team, can impact so many people. All right. Love you guys. I'll see you in the next episode.

Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all the difference in helping more women discover the tools they need to transform their fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.