How to Stop Yo-Yo Dieting and Trust Your Body Again

Nikkiey: I knew something was wrong the day before I passed out in the gym and had to go to the emergency room, only to be told that I was backed up because I hadn't pooped in three days. But I knew something was off, and I ignored my own instincts. I ignored my own inner voice saying, hey, something's not right with your body. You've got to tune into it.

Yo, yo, yo, my friends. What's up? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to today's episode, episode number 253.

In today's episode, I want to talk about how to rebuild trust with your body after years and years and years of dieting, yo-yo dieting, going on restrictive quick fixes, losing 10 pounds, gaining 20 back. Because after years of that type of dieting, after years of restriction, after years of bouncing from one quick fix to another, after years of losing the weight and then gaining it back, what I've realized is a lot of women don't even notice how much trust they've lost with their own bodies.

So if you're feeling or have ever felt like you don't know when you're hungry or when you're full, or you don't trust yourself to eat without tracking, or you're afraid that if you rest you might slip up. If you're afraid that if you go out to eat, you're going to overeat. Or if you're somebody who, like I mentioned already, is yo-yo dieting, losing the same weight and gaining it back, this episode is for you. We're going to talk about how that disconnection happened and how it shows up in your day to day. And most importantly, I want to talk to you about how to start rebuilding that trust with your body again in a way that feels inspiring, feels empowering, feels safe, and feels sustainable for you to maintain.

So let's dive into it. But first and foremost, I have to be honest with you. Most of us didn't just wake up one day and feel disconnected from our bodies. I say that because I realized it along my own journey. I'll interweave my own story into this discussion. I'm sure you already know it, but it's good to bring back specific aspects of what it may have looked like for me in my own journey.

You didn't just wake up one day feeling disconnected from your body. It happened slowly, through years of being told you can't be trusted with food, or you have to do X, Y, and Z, or that hunger was the enemy, or that your body was the problem. If you're in your 50s or 60s, growing up in the 80s, and some of us may have experienced it in the 90s as well, there was the marketing and the stories and the narrative, and what you may have seen your mom do with dieting. It all happens slowly.

And all of a sudden, it feels like it happened overnight. You wake up one morning and you're like, damn, I feel so disconnected from myself, from my body. And it started with the magazines you grew up with that said cutting carbs was the important thing to do, or what Weight Watchers was telling you, or, like I said, what you were seeing your mom do, or ignoring hunger cues because it's not time to eat yet.

Dude, that's the one I noticed the most at the beginning of my journey. I thought I had to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, and if I was hungry mid-afternoon, I just had to ignore it because it wasn't dinner time yet. I had to wait until dinner time. How many of you can resonate with me on that one? Or doing fasted cardio, or doing a workout when maybe you felt dizzy, but you still did it anyway.

I'll never forget this story, and I've probably told it in one episode or another. When I lived in Bali for six or seven months, I had just finished a workout and we went to breakfast, and this girl in front of me was swaying. Then all of a sudden she passed out. I was right there, and God bless my nursing skills, because I kicked into gear right away and was there to help. One of the first things I asked when she came back to it was, have you eaten yet today? Tell me about your morning. She had just done a workout fasted, and she passed out because she wasn't giving her body enough fuel.

So this all adds up if you're someone who consistently does this. It compounds over time, from what I just said about the early years, to ignoring hunger, to doing anything fasted. If you feel off, you shouldn't do it. But you push through because discipline is the goal, right? It all starts with these things. That's what diet culture teaches: override your body, don't trust it, outsource your choices to someone else's rules.

And then over time, what happens? You lose touch with what hunger actually feels like. You stop knowing what being full feels like. You start to fear food. You start to be afraid of carbs. You start to be afraid of fats. Or even protein. Even though it's getting so much good rep now, I remember about five years ago it got a bad rep, because supposedly if you ate too much protein, it could damage your kidneys. Guys.

And you only trust plans. You don't trust your own instincts. That one hit for me. I trusted plans when I was in bodybuilding, and it led me to the hospital three times. The last time, I knew something was wrong the day before I passed out in the gym and had to go to the emergency room, only to be told that I was backed up because I hadn't pooped in three days. But I knew something was off, and I ignored my own instincts. I ignored my own inner voice saying, hey, something's not right with your body, you've got to tune into it. Because I was trying to just follow the plan and trust the plan, and I wasn't listening to me.

And the saddest part is that we start believing that type of control equals success. But control doesn't equal connection. It just builds walls between you and your body. And when those walls stay up for way too long, you stop hearing what your body is trying to tell you altogether. Let that one sink in.

Maybe this is resonating with you, because whenever I get on these podcasts and just speak from my heart and let you know what's on my mind, these are things I've lived. I felt so disconnected from my body for a long period of time. And this is going to come up when I share, and I swear I'm going to record that podcast about when I was in a darkness retreat. I know I've been trickling it into each of these episodes. But I became so much more connected to my body at that point, and I made some promises to myself, as I shared in the last episode, about doing yoga and getting more in tune with my body and hearing what it really needs.

But if the walls are way up and you're thinking, I've got to push through, I've got to do this, I've got to endure it, I've got to muscle up, I've got to control, because this is what the plan says, and yada, yada, yada, you stop hearing what your body needs. You stop listening to the rest it needs, or the food it needs, or the water it needs, or whatever it's trying to tell you.

So maybe this is resonating with you right now. Maybe you're thinking, oh wow, I didn't even realize how disconnected I've been. If you're somebody who doesn't know what hunger cues feel like, you are disconnected. If you're any of the other things I talked about earlier, and maybe even some different things, you're disconnected.

So let me share some really common signs that maybe you've lost trust with your body, because awareness is one of the first steps in making any type of change. Maybe you only feel successful when you're being super strict with your diet, or super strict with your workouts, and you have to work out six days a week because a plan says so. Or you feel guilt after eating anything off plan, even if it was satisfying.

How many of you have had pizza when it wasn't on your plan? You're following a strict, restrictive diet, pizza's not allowed, and you're not allowed to eat ice cream. Then you do, and you feel guilt afterwards. You're allowed to have a satisfying food. You're allowed to fit that in. Those restrictive diets and diet culture have taught you not to, so you feel guilt if you go off plan.

Or, and I see this all the time and I'm guilty of it, you push through fatigue. You push through soreness. You push through low energy in the name of no excuses. No excuses, I've got to get to the gym today. But shit, my legs feel so freaking sore. I don't know if I can do another leg day. I should probably take a rest day. But no, no, no, no excuses, I'm going to go get it done. Or you obsessively weigh yourself, even though it wrecks your mood and makes you spiral.

Look, none of these make you bad or broken. I need to tell you that first and foremost. They just mean that you've been disconnected and you've been conditioned to distrust yourself. And if you're living in the fear of, oh, I'm doing it wrong, or I have to do it this way, then your body never gets a chance to communicate with you. And trust me, I've experienced this firsthand. Because the noise is always louder than the signal.

And that's the cost of chronic dieting. That's the cost to your health. You're physically underfed and you're mentally overloaded. That's what diet culture is doing to everyone.

And it just randomly made me think: diet culture drives me nuts. How are we still one of the most obese countries in the world? Maybe it's just the Western culture. It's like everyone's overweight. Why? Because they don't know how to eat right, and they just follow diet after diet after diet after diet. They're unaware, uneducated, or ignorant to how important nutrition is.

I've been telling people lately that it doesn't really matter how you work out. Yes, strength training is so important, don't get me wrong on that. But it matters so much more how you're fueling your body with the proper nutrition. It's not about eating less. It's about eating more, and eating more of the right types of foods. When I talk to people about that concept, I'm amazed at how such an important topic and knowledge base is so misunderstood. Anyway, that was a little side thought.

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Going back: what does rebuilding trust actually look like? How do you start rebuilding that trust? This is where I think most women think, if I stop being strict, I'll lose progress. If I stop going to the gym six days a week, I'm going to lose progress. I've heard that one so many times throughout the years. I missed X, Y, and Z workouts this week, am I going to lose my muscle? Or, I didn't go to the gym last week because of vacation, am I going to lose my progress? I'm going to gain all my weight back.

But let me be clear here. Rebuilding trust doesn't mean you stop caring about your health or your goals. It means you stop operating from fear and you start operating from connection. And okay, Nikkiey, what does that even look like?

In one aspect, maybe you slow down and listen. Maybe you start tuning in before and after you eat. You ask yourself, am I hungry? Then you can connect with your body and feel: is my stomach growling? Am I hungry? Yes? Okay, cool, I'm going to have a snack. Make it high protein. Afterwards: am I satisfied? I don't want to be too full, but am I satisfied? These are ways you can connect back to your body.

After you eat: how does this food make me feel? I just had oatmeal and egg whites. It's still a staple to this day after freaking 10 years of doing this. And I feel great. I feel energized. I don't feel bloated. These are things you can ask yourself. Do I feel bloated? Do I feel heavy? Do I feel light?

And you have to ask yourself these things with no shame and no judgment, just being aware and just being curious. Because what I noticed is that if I asked myself, am I hungry, I would have some type of judgment: oh, you can't eat now until later on. Or shame: you shouldn't be hungry, you just had food two hours ago. So instead of bringing that type of narrative, bring awareness and bring curiosity. That's one bucket of how you can get more connected and put it into practice.

Another one is to stop moralizing food. There is no such thing as good or bad food. There's just what fuels you well and what doesn't right now. Allow space for flexibility without spiraling. That is you putting trust into action. Do not label any food good or bad. What it truly comes down to is your habits around the food. So instead of labeling it, just understand that maybe this food isn't serving me right now, so I'm going to lean toward something that's going to give me fuel. But if you want to have a snack, don't spiral over it. Be flexible with yourself as you learn to trust yourself. That's another bucket.

Another bucket is letting your workouts be supportive, not punishing your body. Some days you'll lift hard. Some days you'll walk. Some days you'll rest. Trust that moving your body doesn't have to be all or nothing to be effective, or to count as a good workout. Not every day is going to be 100% sunshine and rainbows. Just the fact that you moved your body in some way, whether you did your 10K steps, did yoga, or did your strength training, that is you supporting your body. That's another bucket.

Another bucket, and this is probably one of the most important ways to connect to your body, is eating enough. So many women under-eat out of fear. But under-eating is the fastest way to lose trust, because your body thinks it's under attack. It doesn't trust you. It doesn't know when you're going to feed it again. You're doing it out of fear because you don't want to gain weight, or you think carbs are bad, or you have some other narrative around it. But not giving your body enough food only works against you. Nourishment is literally the most important foundation of giving trust back to your body.

And the last bucket I'd mention is being okay with structure and intuition. I think this one is right up there with eating enough. Tracking your food isn't bad. I'm all for that, you know that. Following a training plan isn't bad. But they're tools. It's not that you have to follow the plan at 110% because it's what your trainer gave you. You should be at least 85 to 90% consistent, don't get me wrong.

I don't want anyone going back to their coaches saying, this is just a tool, I'm going to use my intuition, and my intuition says I'm not going to eat that much today. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm saying the tools aren't bad. You should follow the plan about 90%, but use those tools to build awareness, not to control or punish yourself. This isn't about being perfect. It's about creating a relationship with your body, one that's built on respect, one that's built on consistency, and one that's built on you caring for and connecting to it.

All right. Next, let's talk about one of the biggest mental shifts that has to happen to make this all work. I can totally agree and resonate that it's one of the hardest things to do, if anybody's like me. You have to move away from control and you have to move toward being more connected.

Control says: if I'm not losing weight every week, I'm failing. If I take a rest day, I'm falling off. If I eat off my plan, I'm not going to make progress. If I don't work out for a week, I'm going to lose all my progress. I have to track to a T and be perfect or I'm going to spiral. That's control. And I feel you.

Connection, on the other hand, says: I know what works for my body and I'm going to listen to it. I can trust my hunger. I can trust my recovery. I can trust my energy. I know what it feels like to be hungry. I know what it feels like to be sore. I know what it feels like to have low energy or high energy. I'm in this for the long game, not just for what I can measure today.

That's one you should repeat over and over and over again. I'm in this for the long game, not just for what I can measure today. Matter of fact, if that resonates with you, can you do me a huge favor? Can you screenshot that line, I'm in this for the long game, not just for what I can measure today, put it on Instagram and tag me?

Because this doesn't mean you throw out discipline. It doesn't mean you give it all up. It doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel. Discipline is so powerful. It builds consistency and it builds growth. But when it's driven by fear, when it's driven by shame, when it's driven by anxiety, it turns so toxic.

Connection and discipline can coexist. You can be committed and you can be flexible. You can track your macros and you can also listen to your body. You can have goals and you can have grace. That is real power. That right there is what I've recently been stepping into. I haven't been tracking to a T for the last year. I'm flexible. I'm still committed, don't get me wrong. I'm flexible. I know what my body needs when it needs it, and I can listen to it.

I'm committed to going to the gym. But if I'm only getting four hours of sleep one night, I'm going to push that workout to the next day and just focus on getting 10K steps. I have goals and I'm maintaining my goals, but I can also have grace. That is power, you guys.

So here's what I want to leave you with. Rebuilding trust with your body is like any relationship. It takes time. It takes showing up. It takes forgiveness. It takes putting these concepts and narratives and understandings and this knowledge into practice. And along the way, if you realize you're controlling, forgive yourself and try to get back to connection.

But hear me out. This is not going to happen overnight. Every single small choice you make to listen, to nourish, to rest, to be kind is a brick in the foundation of that trust. You are laying the foundation. You're rebuilding the foundation of trust. Each time you make a small choice to tune in, to be kind, to take it easy, that is you building trust brick by brick.

And one day you'll look up and realize: wow, I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of food. I'm not afraid of rest. I'm not afraid of my own body. You'll realize you've built a partnership with your body, one that feels grounded, one that feels strong, one that feels sustainable for the long term. And from that place, guys, hear me out, because it's 1000% accurate: fat loss will get so much easier. Strength will get so much more natural. Consistency becomes your lifestyle. Because you're no longer working against yourself. You're working with yourself.

Okay? I want to leave you on that note. If this episode spoke to you, I encourage you to share it. Screenshot it and tag me with whatever line resonated with you, whether it was the one I said earlier or something else, or whatever concept or thought I talked about today. Share it with a friend and tag me on social media. I love seeing those tags, and I'll DM you back to say thank you so much.

All right, you guys. I love you all. Until next time, try to focus on these aspects and get more connected back to your body. Listen deeply. Trust that your body is on your side. Peace out, you guys. See you in the next one.

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