LET THEM. LET ME: Owning Your Fitness Journey Without Apology

00:00But here's what you have to realize. Some people will never support you. Even the closest people in your circle, they could be friends for 15, 20, 30 years. Some people will just never support you, and that's okay. Your growth reminds them that they're staying the same. Alright guys, so today I'm really excited to be here with you all. Oh, 40, the big 4-0, let's go. Oh, happy modern girl, that's today, yeah.

00:30You guys know that this is like one of my favorite things to be able to do with you guys, right? Like I love coming here, being able to connect with you all, being able to pour into you guys, have these conversations. Y'all know that I like to go beyond fitness because this journey is so much bigger than just the reps you guys do inside the gym, the macros that you count on a daily basis, the workouts that you do on a weekly basis and daily basis. So if what's on my heart tonight is if tonight's message just hits one person, I just want one person today, like one of y'all to have a mindset shift.

01:08And I want you guys to be able to step into your power and I want y'all to let go of what may be holding you back. Okay? So tonight, if you guys are ready, oh, thank you. Thank you guys for trusting in Warrior Babe and being here. Y'all don't know how much that means to me. I love you guys. If you guys are ready for tonight's message, do me a favor and type, oh, let's go. Shout out to the new Warrior Babes. All right. I promise I'm not going to get sidetracked from the chat box.

01:39Maybe I should shut it down. All right. I should just close it down because y'all are, the comments are making me hype. If you guys are ready, type ready. Oh, you're type your let's go or type let's go. Yeah. Tonight's going to be really interactive. So we're going to get to use the chat box a lot. So I want to feel like I'm connected to you guys even more. Let's go. All right. I need y'all to really hear me when I say this. Okay? The hardest part of any fitness journey, it's not in the workouts.

02:14It's not in your meal prep. It's not even like what I've learned and continue to be learning as like I continue to evolve on my own personal journey. It's not even in the discipline. I know y'all have heard me say you got to work on the discipline muscle. You got to work on meal prep. But who am I as a coach if I don't come back to you guys and just try to challenge you guys a little bit more? Right? So we're going to get a little bit deeper tonight. The hardest part is making the decision to finally put yourself first.

02:47And actually sticking to it. Yeah. I saw some of y'all faces. Y'all are like, yeah, Ann. I see you. I see you. Yeah. What I've been doing some of these worthy of success interviews. Some of you guys have been in the program for just shy of three months to six months to years. And a lot of the continual thing that I've been hearing is putting yourself first. I'm like, oh, I got to bring this to the whole community. Because the moment that you guys do, like the world around you shifts, right?

03:18Like your friends start to notice. Your coworkers start to notice. Your partner starts to notice. And not all of them are going to like it. Right? They're going to question you. They're going to make comments. They're going to make you feel like an outsider for choosing to be and do better. And this, this right here is where a lot of women crumble.

03:50Like not because they're not capable. Not because like they don't want it bad enough. Because they let the weight of other opinions pull them back down. You know what I mean by that? If you guys feel like that's me, that feel like it's you, like type me in the chat. Like if you feel like you've had someone like question, doubt, or like criticize your own fitness journey. And like, yo, I've been there. Like you guys are not alone. The beginning of my own fitness journey, my stepmom, my own parent, parental advisor since I was seven years old questioned me.

04:28And she was like, you can't do that. See, like we're not alone. We're all together on this. Because I know like we've all experienced this. We've all felt this. We've all had this happen in our own space. And here's what I need you guys to understand. This is your journey. This journey is yours. It's not theirs. You're not here to convince them. You're not here to explain yourself. You're not here to beg for someone's approval.

05:01You're not here to make people happy. You're here to become like the woman that you're meant to become. You're here stepping in and choosing an act of fitness, an act of eating better, an act of working out, an act of putting yourself first to walk in the path of who you are becoming. Like it's not about you guys heard me talk about this all of the time. It's not about who you are right now. It's like, okay, who is the person I'm stepping into?

05:32Talked about this in many other community calls and years prior to this, even on the podcast. Because this message, like the shift in mindset I want you all to have tonight, it's going to be the thing that helps you break free from the weight of other people's opinions and fully step into like your power in your fitness journey. Like I want to bring this home in terms of it's not just like it's not in the workouts. It's not in the reps. It's not in like the macros being counted. It's how are you showing up for yourself on a daily basis?

06:02And it's going to have to be able to block out these people's opinions that aren't in alignment with yours. And we're going to talk about that tonight. Like how many of you guys have ever felt judged for making a healthy choice? I remember this was me when I worked in the emergency room and I had all of my prepackaged meals. And everyone was like, like my coworkers just joked about my meal prep while they grabbed. There was tons of fast food. There was pizza and donuts. There was a local fair that went down every year. And there was always donuts in our emergency break room and emergency room break room.

06:37Or maybe friends have rolled eyes at you guys when you ordered like chicken or veggies instead of like ordering the fries. Or maybe your partner has even questioned you like, why are you spending so much time in the gym instead of watching TV with them? Right. Who knows? It could be any different type of scenario. We have each individually have our own and it happens all the time. And that pressure, like the need to like explain yourself to get people to understand, to not feel like the weird one. Like I always felt like I was the weird one.

07:09I felt like I was the weird one with my family. I felt like I was the weird one in a nursing home. I felt like I was a weird one with my friends. I remember I've shared with you guys too that at the beginning of my journey, like it was my friends were, they wanted to go out every weekend. And so the first night that I decided to make a change and decided to embark on my journey, I was the DD. And people were like, why are you not drinking? And I'm like, I'm the weird one. You know, like I was prioritizing myself. Nobody else around me got it. And that can be like this thing, like feeling like you need to explain yourself or feeling like you want to get people to understand.

07:46Or like feeling like you're like not wanting to be the weird one. Like that very thing can keep you stuck and you may not even realize it. And that's why I want to pull it back a little bit deeper tonight. Have you guys started reading or heard of Mel Robbins' new book? Let them. Have you guys heard about that? Say yes if you guys have or no if you guys haven't in the chat box. Reading it now. Yes. No. Yes. Okay. No, no, no. Okay. Tons of, okay. Mixture. Okay.

08:16Sweet. Yeah. Let them. So it's one of her new books. I'm reading it right now. And whenever something is like in my ecosystem, one from the success stories of hearing people say they want to put themselves first to reading this book right now about like halfway through it. I was like, I need to, this, this has to come to you guys. She says like when people don't understand you, when they doubt you, when they, when they resist your growth in those instances, you need to like pause and you need to be able to be like, let them.

08:49And when it comes, but there's like, let them, but when it comes to like your goals, your health, your body, your happiness, you say, let me. And when I'm seeing, like, what I love about that is like the second that you decide to put yourself first, like the opinions of others don't, they won't just disappear. Okay. But what I love about that is like someone could say this, like your coworkers could joke around about your meal prep and they could say all these things and you could be like, cool.

09:24I'm going to let you do you boo. And I'm going to do me and I'm going to sit here and I'm going to enjoy this meal. Cause I know that I'm going to be like how I used to think about it. And I didn't even realize it was doing this, but how I used to think about it. I was like, this healthy meal is going to go, let me show up for my patients better. This healthy meal is going to be able to stick a needle in someone on the first shot instead of rather fishing around the fifth time. You know, I'm going to be focused. Cause I didn't just eat pizza, which can make me feel like I'm all bogged down. I had healthy meal and now I'm focused.

09:55Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. What a lot of people, what I feel like people get stuck on when most people get stuck on is when we like spend so much. Energy trying to get other people to understand our choices.

10:29Good. You guys just ordered it. Yes. Title is let them let them by Mel Robbins. But what we do is we, so we're trying to just make people understand why we're doing things. Like we want our friends like to get it. We want our friends, we want our family to like, to be supportive. We want our partner to like jump on board and do this fitness journey with us and like eat better. But let me guys tell you something. What I've learned and what I'm hearing in this book is like, that is not your job.

11:06That is not your job. What I was saying to my girlfriends, because my girlfriend is kind of going through something. And I didn't even realize I was saying this. She was like, have you read the book Let Them? And I'm like, no. But what I was telling her was like, this is prior to me reading it. I was like, you can't be responsible for people's reactions. And dad just like hit her. Y'all can't be responsible for your friends' reactions. You can't be responsible for your coworkers' reactions. You can't be responsible for your partner's reactions.

11:39You cannot control how people react to your growth. Let them misunderstand you. Let them judge you. Let them doubt you. Let them criticize you. Let them say these things. Because their reactions say more about them than they do about you. Mic drop. Right? Like if your coworker wants to mock you guys. Mock your meal prep. Let them. Like if your partner doesn't understand why you want to improve your body.

12:11Let them. If your best friend gets uncomfortable. Because you're evolving and she's not. Let her. Right, Terry? Yeah. And listen, like, dude. When I'm hearing this, like in the book. And then when I actually try to like see where I've applied it in my life. This is hard. It is hard. Like I get it. If you guys are like, man, how can I do this better? How can I do it? Or the book is definitely going to help you. But I want to acknowledge the fact that I understand that it's hard.

12:44Because you want the people in your life to celebrate you. You want your friends to support you. You want your coworkers to look at you in admiration. You want your husband to be like, honey, you're doing such a great freaking job. But here's what you have to realize. Some people will never support you. And I'm saying this because I love you guys. And even the closest people in your circle. They could be friends for 15, 20, 30 years. Some people will just never support you. And that's okay. You ever have friends that y'all like have been friends for 20 years.

13:18Y'all have been through different seasons and different paths. And you guys, you know, maybe don't agree on things, but you still are friends. Like some people just won't support you, right? But because their growth reminds, like your growth reminds them that they're staying the same. Yeah. You got to find your tribe. The tribe right here though. The warrior babe tribe. I mean, y'all got your small groups. You got the small huddles with your team, with your coaches. That's your tribe. Those people are going to support you. But some people along the way, they won't support you.

13:48And I want you guys to know that it's because your growth reminds them that they're staying the same. And instead of just fixing like their own things that they need to fix, it's easier for them to criticize your journey. And I know that's going to be hard to hear, but you just have to let them. You have to like let them stay small. You have to let them remain stuck. You have to let them keep making excuses. Because the thing here is you can try and help them, but they may not even receive that.

14:20And so you're giving more away of your energy. Change happens on one's accord. If y'all want to write that down. Change happens on one's accord. And then while you're letting them do these things, while you're letting them, you know, continue on their own walk, while you're walking a little bit faster, you continue to move. Like you continue to build. You continue to evolve. Right? So if this is making sense to you guys, can you drop let them in the chat? I want to make sure that y'all are listening, connected, tuned in, that this is hitting home.

14:56Cool. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay. So we talked, I said at the beginning, there's like the let them, right? There's a let them do these things. But then like the most powerful thing that she talks about in the book is the let me aspect. Like that's a powerful second half of the phrase. It's like let them bounce hand. That's hilarious. There's let them and then there's let me or let you.

15:29But I'm going to say let me because that's how she says it. So that and this is where you reclaim your control. Because at the end of the day, like you have a choice. Like you, like let me be disciplined. Like you be disciplined. Like let me eat my high protein meals without your opinion. Let me train my body and push my limits. Let me set my own goals and crush them. Isn't that so empowering to like be able to just stay in alignment with what you want and what you deserve?

15:59Like let me take up space. Let me be strong. Let me show up for myself without any type of apology. Like let me be freaking great. I want to say that word, but I'm going to try to get better at that y'all. So you guys know that I like to curse. So I'm trying to get better at that. If y'all have been here for a while, you know that I like to do that. If you're just joining in, you're going to get a better version of Nikki moving forward. But y'all, but like seriously, like be effing great. Be effing great.

16:31Let me be effing great. Let me be freaking amazing. Like saying this, like, I don't need you to approve. I don't need you to agree. Like, I don't need you to validate me. You're already amazing. Just as you guys are, are, you don't need external validation from anybody else other than validating your own self on your own journey. And because you like it, because you want this, because you want to achieve something. Right? Yeah. Seek your own validation.

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18:09Like people have no problem when you're playing small. Think about the flip of this. What I mean by that is like when you think about when you skip a work, like skip a gym because you're too tired. People have no problem with that. Friends have no problem with that. When you eat something like whenever it's just easy instead of like feeling your body appropriately or when you like settle for like good enough instead of striving for more. Like people have no problem when you're playing small. They don't say a damn thing.

18:40Because that version of you, that version of you is easy for them to handle. Because it's in alignment with them. But the moment that you decide to like level up and take the step forward and walk a little bit faster on your path. The moment that you start prioritizing yourself. The moment that you start making choices that challenge their comfort zones. That's when these opinions start rolling in and then judgment and criticism and all of these things. But here's what they don't get.

19:13And this is not up for debate, y'all. Like you will lift heavier. Let me. Right? Like you're going to feel your body appropriately. Let me. So these are just more examples of how you're going to do let me version. Like I want to stay consistent even when even motivation fails. Let me. Don't let anybody else tell you that, oh, you can just skip the gym today. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to stay consistent even if I'm not feeling motivated. Let me. I'm going to take care of my health because I refuse for settling less.

19:46I signed up for this program. I'm going to follow through. Let me. I'm going to build the body that makes me feel powerful. Let me. Like I'm not here to explain myself. I'm not here to ask for permission. I'm not here to play small so others feel comfortable. I'm here to build the most strongest version of myself, the most confident version of myself, the most unstoppable version of myself. Cue that song. Exactly. I see you dancing over there, Kelly. That's where that song is great to come into play.

20:16Just to remind you guys on a daily basis, the chorus plays three times. It's like positive affirmations in your brain while you're working out or why or even if you just like if you have all this chatter going on in your space taking like I think the song is three minutes long taking three minutes out of your day to put that in there and just like breathe and remind yourself like I am unstoppable. I'm on this journey for me. And if it makes anybody else's world uncomfortable, if it makes them uncomfortable, that's their problem, not yours. Because if I can get real for a second, y'all know I like to like give some tough love, but

20:50I'm like trying to approach my tough love a little bit better. When you guys level up, you're going to outgrow people. Even if you're 45, even if you're 55, even if you're 65, that's okay. It just doesn't mean that you have to like distance them entirely. It just means that like you recognize this and you can give them empathy that understand and compassion to understand that their journey is a little bit different than yours in this space of fitness and nutrition, but you're still going to show up for doing you. And not everyone is meant to go where you're going in terms of like we can keep it in the

21:23line of fitness and nutrition. Not everyone's meant to be on this journey. Like y'all had something in your life that made you feel uncomfortable, that made you not happy, that made you want to make and make a change. Like I've been hearing these stories and it's so cool. I've done 21 success stories so far from warrior babes in the last four weeks. And they each individually had their own story navigating different things at the, and so do you guys. Like I want to pinpoint that. Like you guys all have your own individual different stories. So there was something that made you want to change.

21:55And you're going to, like if some of you guys already said, like you've experienced this along the way. Not everyone just wants you guys to know that not everyone is immense. Like in your circle, in your space, even if it's a small little town where you live and nobody else is like taking nutrition seriously, which is one of the ones that I heard on the interview. One, you have this community, but also know that like, okay, you're still going to show up for yourself. Even if nobody's meant in your, in your space or in that, like I can go to a small town. Like not everyone's meant to go where you're going.

22:26Not everyone's going to understand your choices and that is okay. But here's what you cannot do. You cannot shrink yourself. Well, you guys promised me that you don't do these things as you continue forward on your journey. You can't shrink yourself to make other people comfortable. You can't dim your own light because so many of you guys have such incredible lights in you just because it shines too bright for someone else who's stuck in the dark. Promise me that. You can't slow down just because someone else refuses to speed up.

22:59And when I say that, I'm talking in the walk. Like you're just taking a couple more steps ahead of your friends or your coworkers or your partner. And that's okay. You know what the coolest part is, is that she even said in the book, one of the chapters that like people start to see this. You got to put yourself first. And then once you do, when there's actually some type of results showing or your energy shifts or you're feeling better, you're feeling more confident. I've heard in the success interviews too as well, that like husbands see that or partners

23:31see that, friends see that. And they want to, they will eventually get past, you know, this uncomfortability and they'll ask you, what are you doing? So along the way, know that you can't, you can't, you just have to keep going. Don't ever dim your light. If someone else is stuck in their own dark season, I'll say that you have to keep going no matter what, even if it makes people uncomfortable, even if you potentially lose friendships along

24:02the way, even if you have to walk the road along for a little bit, even though you don't have to because you have this entire community. Because your future self, think about that woman. Think about who you're becoming and the results that you're seeking and what you want and how you want to feel and who you want to, like what you want to wear and how that person like communicates on a daily basis. Do they communicate through more confidence? Like your future self is counting on you to push through any of this if you're experiencing it. So with all this, let me let, or let them let me, can you guys make a promise for the next

24:32week with me on top of the promises that you guys have already said you're going to do? Even though I didn't get any, like the yeses that you're, will you guys not dim your light? Can you guys say that? Say, I'm not going to dim my light for somebody else. Every time someone questions your choices, Mo, does the chat box get you so excited? Every time I see it going off, I see you smile. Yo, shout out to Coach Mo. She is such an incredible human. And you guys have such the pleasure of working with her. And I've had a couple of the success stories be her, she's her, their coach and have nothing

25:05but amazing things to say about Coach Mo. So anyway, for the next week, every time someone questions like your choices or everyone's every, every time that someone doubts your commitment and trust now to you guys, like me bringing this to your space. I feel like whenever I bring something to your environment and you're listening and you're attentive, it's going to show up one way or another in your space. So be ready if you're willing to accept this promise because you're going to be tested.

25:38If you guys believe in a higher power or God, he's going to say, okay, you made Nikki a promise. How are you going to handle if someone questions your choices or someone doubts your commitments or someone makes you feel weird for going about your goals? Like I want you guys to like take a deep breath. Yeah, let them. Good. That's what I was just about to ask you guys to say. If you guys take a deep breath and just repeat to yourself, like whisper to yourself, let me or let them let me.

26:08Let them let me. And then do as Mel Robbins says, and then do the damn thing anyway. That's what she says in the book. Let them let me and then do the damn thing anyway. So if you guys can drop a let's let's freaking go in the chat box. You guys are committing to this because guys, if there's anything that I've learned from reading this book and being on my own like personal evolution journey to as well as like your future self is watching you. And she's waiting for you guys to step stop making decisions based on the opinions of

26:42other people who won't even have the who don't even have the results that you want yet. This is your fitness. This is your body. This is your life. The more that you own it, the more the stronger that you become. Okay, so let them talk. Let them doubt. Let them stay in their lane. Let them stay in. Let them stay in. And let me let you go all in on what you deserve. I want you guys to absolutely continue to crush no matter where you're at in your journey. A lot of you guys are walking different paths, but you're all here in the same community with the same goal in mind of wanting to better yourself, wanting to change your body composition,

27:16wanting to learn how to eat right and to work out and to learn how to put yourself first because those things require that of you. Right? I need to make sure I get my workout in. I need to make sure that I have time to meal prep. I need to make sure that I'm sitting down. I'm learning macro so that I can make it a sustainable practice for the long term because y'all have been on this diet train for how long? Now you're here where we teach sustainability and it requires you to put you first. So with that, I love you guys. It's a little bit short of a call that I've done with you all, but I feel like the points

27:47were driven home and I appreciate you and I want you guys to go win. So go win, go be unstoppable, go crush it. And I'll see you guys next time. Y'all are amazing. I thank you every single day for this because it wasn't for you guys, man. I want to be able to do what I do to pour into you guys and same with the coaches. So thank you. Thank you for trusting in warrior, babe, and just go crush it. That's all I ask. That's all the coaches ask. Love y'all. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for

28:19you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review, share the podcast with someone who might need it and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

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