Life Update: I’ve Been Off Lately… Here’s Why

00:00This is all what I'm experiencing in the last like nine months. One of the biggest things was I shared with you guys was my hair. Dude, my hair dramatically thinning. I'm waking up exhausted, even though I'm sleeping eight hours a night. Emotionally, dude. I mean, I feel like a very emotional person, actually. It's just lately I've been on edge. Like I'm like I'm stuck. Tight in my chest, heart palpitations, like just stuck. This is when I was like, dude, something is off. Like, it's not that I'm lazy. It's not that I'm not that I'm not.

00:30X, Y, and Z. It's like, dude, this is like physically, psychologically, physiologically, like my health, something is up. What's up, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show. And on today's episode, this one's going to be a little bit different. It's going to feel a little bit different. I'm not going to go into like the how-to strategies or the mindset or the macro breakdowns or all of those things. This one, I just want to, you know, I've been on Instagram lately sharing with you guys some updates that I'm going through with my health. And I just want to pull back the curtain on like that and like on what this past year of my life has really looked like. And honestly, like the last eight years have led me up to the point that I'm at right now. And I'm going to talk emotionally. I'm going to talk physically. I'm going to talk spiritually.

01:25All the things. Because I want you guys to know, one, I'm a human on the other end of this microphone. And on the other side of the phone that you guys all watched me through or the devices you watched me through. And, you know, as a coach and as a leader and as a motivator, like, yeah, man, I felt completely off. I've, if anything, in the last eight to nine months, I felt completely off. I've not felt like myself. And I know when I say that in my heart that I'm not the only one that feels that way. And so I hope that with this episode today, me being a little bit more vulnerable with you guys, knowing that I'm a human to knowing that I go through the same struggles that you guys go through on a daily basis, regardless of what you see on social media.

02:15I'm here to resonate with you all know that you guys aren't alone if you feel like you're going through this too, as well. So I just kind of want to get into it, right? Over, let's just say like, for the past like eight plus years, like, man, I have just been on, on, on a daily basis, building Warrior Babe, showing up on camera, coaching, leading, guiding, inspiring, holding space, creating impact, building an incredible team, building an incredible product, helping thousands of women.

02:52And I have absolutely loved every single aspect of it, every single ounce. And I'm not here to say that I regret one thing, I do it all over again. But here's the thing, and where I see it's caught up to me finally, is I never stopped. I never paused to breathe. Maybe a little bit dramatic there. But in all seriousness, you guys get the notion of what I mean when I say those words, like, I never stopped like pushing.

03:26And somewhere in that, I lost track of me, there felt like there was an empty, like, and you guys maybe even have seen it a little bit more on social media, and all the real, real and honest reasons why, like, I haven't been showing up on social media as much as I have been lately, like on stories, like I used to be on there all the time, man, you used to see like 10 stories of me just going on rants. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same.

03:56I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. I don't know if you guys are the same. While you're also dealing with being a human and dealing with your own life struggles and having to feel like you have to show up a certain way, like I felt like there was a disconnect. More so lately, I couldn't keep showing up until I fixed that disconnect of finding me again, because I feel like I lost track of me. And like a year ago, I've shared with you guys in previous in an episode a while back that a relationship ended.

04:29You guys knew that I was in a relationship for a really long time. That relationship ended and it triggered something deep. It happened for all of the right reasons why it ended. And now I see the bigger picture a year later of why I went through that test. God put me through that test. He put me through that life experience. But on the other side, he also showed mercy. And I'm being honest. The exhaustion didn't start a year ago. That breakup just like exposed what I've been pushing through for years in all fronts of my personal life.

05:05I was functioning in pure masculine energy for most of my life. I think you guys remember an episode that I did with Caleb. And I was like just sitting there listening. Like if you guys didn't listen to the episode, I highly recommend that you do because I felt like I was listening to me through him. Like I just couldn't articulate or put it into words what I was feeling yet just at the moment enough to open up and do a whole episode and podcast on it. But in that episode, so good. He really talks about how he's been he was driving in his masculine energy for a really long time.

05:42And that's how I felt like I've been living most of my life. I've been in like the force pushing with force, controlling everything, trying to control everything. If I didn't feel like I had control of it, I felt like I was off course. Achievement after achievement after achievement. You guys know that I'm a three time pro in the bodybuilding industry. I left undefeated. Like even growing up sports like achievement. Like I just I chased achievement. Production, right?

06:12Building the business, building a team, building a product, production, showing up, holding it all, making it happen. Grit, grind, determination, like built the business with that energy. And while that energy has served a purpose for a really long time, it did its job. But at some point, that structure, it really started to cage me in. Like now trying to be different in these last few months and how I've, you know, I've wanted to come here.

06:47And you guys know that I've always been open on, I'm like an open book. But there's definitely a period in time where I had to take some time to go inward and focus on me and be able to then come forth and be able to share this type of story with you. Because during that time, like even still, like I'm still not perfect. And I'm still trying to, to learn the balance of the masculine and the energy and knowing like the years I've been pushing and grinding and control and achievement and production and all the things.

07:19I didn't know how to soften. I didn't know how to rest without guilt. You guys know that I went on that, that darkness retreat. I have a whole episode on that too as well. If you guys maybe are just new to tuning into these episodes. And if this is your first episode, love it guys. You're here for a ride. You're here for a vulnerable, vulnerable one. But there's tons of other episodes obviously around fitness and everything. But this one's going to tie into talking about like, you know, hormones and, and, and where I'm at right now with, with trying to get some answers. But like I didn't, like when I was on that darkness retreat, like I had a really hard time allowing myself to rest because I had so much guilt while I was there.

07:59My nervous system was shot. Like I share with you guys that the second I closed the door and shut the lights off, I, my lights were exposed to darkness and I just started bawling and my nervous system went crazy and I wanted to leave and I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up. Right? Like I didn't, this was all the masculine. Like I just, like I didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't know how to let someone else hold me to support me, how to stop solving and just be like, I didn't know how to just go in like a soft surrendering way. Like this is where too as well over the last couple, really, actually I started going to a Christian church in, in January of this year.

08:37I really started leaning deeper into my relationship with God and with Jesus in this past year because I was tired of carrying this weight alone. Like tired of trying to hold it all. Like I've been sharing with you guys here, like tired of, like there was points where I was defensive. There's points that I like, I'm tired of being angry. I was angry here and there, tired of trying to just like control everything in my life and everyone around me. And I just got to the point where I was like, okay, God, I just like, I can't do this without you anymore.

09:07And like, I need, I want to learn scripture. I want to learn how to move. I want to learn your words, your wisdom, your knowledge, your education. And I really am starting to see like, I've, as I shared with you guys in previous episodes, like I have always been in faith. Like I grew up in a Catholic church, but I've never like outwardly had the obedience of saying, hey, this is what I believe in. And it's getting stronger and stronger on a daily basis, which is really cool. I have something to share with you guys. Actually, I've already shared it with you.

09:39This is going live on Monday. Yesterday, I got baptized or I'm getting baptized on Sunday. But, you know, speaking in future tense here with you guys, I got baptized yesterday. And I shared with that most likely with you guys on social media. That's just an outward like obedience of like, hey, I'm here. And you know what? It's weird, you guys. And you guys can resonate with this too. And I'm probably going off on a little rant here. When I start talking about God and these things, like it's sometimes weird.

10:11The reactions are weird around me. So just, you know, trying to stay obedient in that. But anyway, not to get off topic, but I know that these things like I'm being tested, I'm being, growing my endurance. And like, I'm recognizing that I'm starting to see like the breakdowns that I've experienced is actually setting me up for big, big breakthroughs. And it takes, it doesn't feel that way when you're in the mess of it. Trust me, like it being in the mess of it in the last year. And it all kind of, you know, over the years of me living in this type of energy, it all comes to a head at some point.

10:48But it's like, I kind of had a breaking point and like, I just needed to turn my focus somewhere else because I couldn't keep turning it on me because I wasn't doing a good job alone. So I'm seeing now, months after, year after, that this is all leading me to a bigger purpose and a bigger understanding that is far beyond even my own knowledge right now as I continue to learn. But in the midst of all of this, right, and in the midst like to get back on track, the forcing it, the controlling it, not having the ability to surrender is what I'm trying to learn how to do better.

11:27And man, it's a daily effort for sure. What I've noticed really helps me is reading, reading scripture in the morning and just learning it and knowing how to have discernment, how to move throughout the day and turning, you know, not necessarily focusing on me anymore, focusing on the bigger things like, like the Lord and focusing on other people and helping them, like taking it off of me and just trying to be more present in my day to day. But to the point, right, even though like, I didn't know how to do all those things to be more in my feminine, like I was scared of what would happen if I did let go.

12:08Like I was scared of what I might feel. I was scared of who I would be without like constant being the doer, the goer, the grind, the push, the do like, so I like my, I kept doing that. And then my body now has said enough. And that's what I've been sharing with you guys recently on social media. Like, even though I've been doing everything right, even though I've been eating clean, even though I've been working out, even though I've been staying consistent, even though I've been checking the boxes on what I preach on a daily basis to you guys, to social media, to warrior babe, to our coaches, to our team, even though I was doing quote unquote everything right.

12:50Like, my friends, and this is where I want you guys to know, like, if you are experiencing these two things, these things too, as well, you're not alone. Like, but also like, for the longest time, until I finally sought out answers, I thought that I was broken. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought that even I'm doing all the right things or can't there's possibly like, why am I feeling this way? Why am I having these? One of the biggest things was I shared with you guys was my hair. Oh my goodness. Like, I'm holding it up if you guys are watching this on video right now.

13:20But if not, like, I'm also sharing the hair journey on my highlights on Instagram on the real, on reels, or the highlight reels on my Instagram page. But like, dude, my hair, dramatically thinning. Like, I don't even know how to put it into words. Like, it's falling out in clumps. It's like, when I look back in years previous, like, the how thin it's gotten to this point to this day. Like, that, that was the really the breaking point of like, dude, something is wrong.

13:53Something is not right. I, you were meant to thrive. We're meant to feel like we're alive. We're meant to like, when these things start happening, there's internally something. And that's what's crazy is because it's not like we can just go inward and be like, oh, this hormone's off. We're like, oh, you know, my adrenals are feeling this way. That's why I'm stressed. Like, we can't turn inward. We start to have be symptomatic externally. But we have to really honor those symptoms and be like, this ain't right. Like, y'all, we're all meant to feel great.

14:23We're all meant to feel alive. Just because we're getting older doesn't mean that we have to accept these things that are happening to us. And that's what I hope that you guys like hear me in this because you could be doing everything right, too. But you could be feeling these ways. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more.

15:04Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. Another thing that I was experiencing, like I'm waking up exhausted, even though I'm sleeping eight hours a night. I'm waking up after eight hours, nine hours of sleep, and I'm like, dang, I'm exhausted.

15:37I could go back to sleep. I'm having really hard recoveries from my workouts. I can't recover from workouts like I used to. I'm crashing midday. Like I'm needing naps. Not that caffeine don't matter. I could have three cups of coffee. I could have an energy drink and two cups of coffee, and I'm still crashing midday. My brain is foggy. My focus is so scattered. Those two mainly, and this is all what I'm experiencing in the last like nine months. Emotionally, dude, I mean, I feel like I'm a very emotional person, actually.

16:08Um, it's just lately I've been on edge. Like I'm like I'm stuck, like tight in my chest, heart palpitations, like just stuck. And, uh, this is when I was like, dude, something is off. Like, it's not that I'm lazy. It's not that I'm X, Y, and Z. It's like, dude, this is like busy psychologically, physiologically, like my health. Something is up. Um, so that's when I was like, I gotta take matters into my, like, I didn't want to go. I was like, I gotta get blood work done.

16:39Okay. Like that's the first and foremost, first type thing you guys should be doing on a routine basis on a yearly basis. Um, I recently, I had gotten it done like last year. Nothing was too alarming, but also there was a huge variable actually. Like I had gotten my, my done my egg freezing journey the second round, uh, at the end of last year. And I thought that the hair thinning was just like post-metapausal or post, uh, postpartum. Um, like basically like I'm not, I don't have a kid, but I went through the whole process

17:12of like overstimulating my ovaries dramatically so I could produce eggs so that I could take these eggs out and freeze them. It's like, I thought my hair was just like coming down from that and experiencing postpartum hair loss without the baby. So I was like, just like a very curious. Like that's just, again, like there's parts of a masculine energy that served me and I want to just make that known. Like those aspects are good, but like constantly being in that type of energy for a really, really, really, really long time is not good because it will start to break you down.

17:46Like it will start to be like, dude, that's not enough. Like this is enough. You got to have the good ebbs and flows of the masculine and the feminine energy. Um, so I knew that I, okay, blood work, right? Um, things looked off a little bit last year, but it was, I thought that it was just the variable of my, the, the process that I went through with the eggs and I never got rechecked until a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to take matters into my own hands here. I didn't want to go to a traditional, and this is for personal reasons, um, the traditional

18:20healthcare system way, uh, because there's things that those, like there's things in the healthcare system personally that I know that the comprehensive blood work and hormone testing way beyond what an average doctor's office would check. And that's what I sought after. I took it into my hands. I found a company online. And I will share that name when I'm ready, but just know, like I was done waiting to figure this out and I wanted to take these symptoms seriously. So that's where I started this company.

18:50And they did the whole comprehensive blood work and the hormone testing and the cortisol and the insulin and X, Y, and Z. Right. And I, uh, started working with them, uh, two months ago or maybe a month and a half ago now and got the blood work done. Dude, I had like 11 to 12 vials taken. It was crazy. And I had to do a fast same. So did that. Results came back. Bro, I cried because they validated everything that I've been feeling.

19:23I have low thyroid. I have low testosterone. I have low DHEA and I have a slightly elevated cortisol and I have other things going on too as well. So once I got the results back, also had the healthcare provider review the results with me. I sat down later that day and I just lost it because I was like, oh my gosh, I finally have answers. Oh my gosh, I'm not broken. Oh my gosh, this actually is so validating. It's reassuring that like, like, uh, now I, now I know what to do. Now I know how to, how to act. Now I know how to like the, the steps to, to fix these things.

19:57Like it wasn't in my head. Like it wasn't like, like I said earlier, it wasn't a discipline issue. It wasn't a motivation issue. It wasn't a laziness issue. It wasn't like my body was screaming, yo, I've been holding too much for too long. And what's crazy you guys. And if that's not enough confirmation, I also did neurofeedback. So this happened about like a couple of weeks ago. I was like, okay, like I know that there's this going on with me, but also I know how good neurofeedback could be. I've seen so many people talk about it in the online space. And so I signed up with a company and I've had, I had a full brain mapping session.

20:35And then I just got the results back, um, the other day and the results were, they were insane. They were intense. And I was just like, God, this all makes so much sense. Um, I have been, um, first of all, I can't wait to see the after of my brainwaves. Once I go through the six month protocol of doing the neurofeedback, because the before is, like I said, it's pretty, it was pretty crazy seeing these results. There's a lot of good, but there's also obviously like the green was the good, but there's also

21:08a lot of the red that needs to have the focus on. And when she was reading it and showing me my brain map review and like talking through the things I was like, she was like saying these things. I'm like, yeah, that's me. So I've been living in there's beta, there's, um, alpha, there's theta and there's Delta, right? With our brainwaves. I don't know a lot of all these things. This is not my wheelhouse. I just want to first, foremost say that I'm just speaking personally to my journey, my experiences. I'm definitely going to be sharing more, but it's all personal matter for me. And I would personally speaking from to my, to my experience.

21:39Um, the, so I've been living in the high beta, the fight or flight constantly, probably for majority of my life. And it makes sense when I went into the darkness retreat. Why? When I closed my eyes, my nervous system was so scared. Like my nervous system is stuck in survival mode and it just makes sense. So ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause?

22:14It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, warrior babe is here for you at warrior B. We've helped over 18,000 women, just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last. Look, don't wait anymore.

22:45Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warrior babe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warrior babe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. It showed, um, two as well. She was like, yeah, like on the emotional aspect, you probably ruminate on a lot of things. Like you replay things over and over and over and over and over in your mind.

23:18Like guys, like seriously, like I will ruminate on something. I will get stuck emotionally in something like, and like, it's really hard for me to let things go. So I can't just be like, all right, it's done. Like I have trouble recently starting tasks, finishing things, focusing, um, being more present, like living in this, like I live in like a loop, like a high functioning, high achieving, slightly anxious loop. And it all connects. What is, what's really crazy is that it all connects to hormonal balance.

23:52It's one thing she said when I was doing the brain mapping session review. So if I'm dealing with some hormones being out of kilter, then I'm going to be experiencing this in my brain. I'm going to be having this type of wave activity happening in my brain. My nervous system is on overload. I have mental fatigue. I'm emotionally rigid. Like it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. And I may be being a little bit dramatic, but if you guys know me, sometimes I tend to be that way.

24:23Uh, but it's, it's crazy, but it's also again, very validating because I have answers. And more importantly, the act, the answers that I have, I also have a course of action to be taking. So I'm here now, not fixed, but I'm doing the, I'm doing the real work and I'm just being vulnerable with you guys sharing this episode with y'all. Um, moving forward, doing six months of neurofeedback. So basically what that looks like is, and we'll be sharing this all on my Instagram story. So if you guys don't follow me, please go follow me at Nikki stop. Cause I want you guys to know, like, first of all, you're not alone in this journey.

24:56If you're experiencing all these things, if you guys have low thyroid and you're experiencing these things, or if you feel like something's off and you want to talk about it, like I'm here, you guys can DM me. I'm more than happy to have conversations with y'all. I'd love to do that. You talked to Nikki maybe like three years ago. I would barely be in my DMS and, uh, um, had a really hard time, you know, even texting people back. Like I lived so much in the masculinity. I'm crazy. I'm doing so much better trying to, uh, to get out of that. And this is just a real life, like, you know, real live episode of this is what's going on in my world. Like just like a life update.

25:28Um, so I hope that you guys have enjoyed this life update, but just also know, like you guys aren't alone in this. Um, and another thing is, oh, so I'm doing a six month of the neurofeedback. And I have a protocol to start now with the healing of the thyroid and the hormones. So I'm going to be taking, doing, oh, first of all, I'm also going to be incorporating a lot of things that I know will help nutritionally that I know will help on the workout side. Like my workout schedule looks completely different nowadays. You guys, like I'm only doing two, three days of strength training.

25:58I do yoga, uh, once a week and I do Pilates once a week. So total. And I'm doing like 10 K steps a day, eight to 10 K steps a day, dramatically different. And this is why I want to just let you guys know that you will go through seasons. I'm going through a season right now. Um, my journey with fitness three years ago looked different than now. And it also looked different to when I was competing. Like you got to accept, like I've said in and out of these episodes, like I've talked to the warrior babes.

26:29Like we talked to our team, dude, this is a lifestyle. And if you can accept the lifestyle and, and, and like, you know, know that you're going to go through these seasons, it's actually a little bit more easy to accept when things like this come your way. Um, but there's always a solution. There's always a way forward. And it's just about being one, your best advocate for yourself in these situations when you know something's wrong and going and seeking some answers and getting help and then being able to follow through on a protocol when you have it.

27:00And in a protocol that feels good and in alignment with yourself, that's the most important thing. I'm also taking DHEA to support testosterone, uh, pregnenolone, and then some other vitamins that will, um, help with this as well. And just starting there, like, you know, there's a lot of other things that I could have focused on, but I just wanted to focus. I know that the thyroid is literally the gatekeeper to everything internally. Literally, if your thyroid is off, that should be your number one main focus.

27:31Um, and then obviously hormones are hormones, so they need a little bit of support. So those are my two main focuses. And then with that, I'm hoping that the cortisol gets leveled out. And I'm hoping, um, that some of the other factors that are a little off get, get treated to as well. So that, uh, that's the protocol for that. The neurofeedback, right? I said six months, but I'm doing it five times a week, 20 minute sessions. And then I have a weekly meeting with a coach and all this, you guys, if you guys continue to follow me on social media, like I'll definitely share, um, the journey, as I said, and maybe even the companies I'm working with, if I feel called to, um, and I'm praying, praying every day.

28:10I'm slowing down, letting go of like the obsession to control. And I'm just trying to do my best to surrender. I'm trying to learn how to receive, how to be in my feminine, to be soft, be strong at the same time, because that is like the ideal duo. But it's knowing how to be in balance with the two. Um, and just, you know, being held by God and instead of trying to hold the world on my shoulders. So it's not easy though. Not easy. I'll be the first one to tell you that, but it is everything. And I will, I want you guys to know, like you guys may see me, you see me as a leader.

28:45You see me showing up on social media. You see me being the coach, the motivator, like the, the, the person that's going to encourage you and inspire you. But yeah, I mean, I am all of those things for sure, but I'm also human. And, uh, what I want this episode, I hope to do is that, you know, I want you to know if you've been feeling off, you've been feeling off physically, mentally, emotionally, you don't have to suffer in silence. Please, please. You do not have to suffer in silence. One, I'm here. I'm a DM away on social media. If I feel so compelled to, I will even share my phone number.

29:15We can continue to chat. Like I want to hear, be there to serve. I want to be able to help. Like it's all about the people that come into my circle moving forward. Um, but please guys, get your blood work done, you know, like turn to the things of which may feel in alignment for you. If you're in a season and you need just some help getting out of it, don't do it alone. Ask for help. Like over the weight that you're carrying, you don't need to, you don't need to break. Like I felt like I broke in order to finally deserve support.

29:45Okay. You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to earn being soft. You don't have to earn anything. You don't have to have it all together before you guys, like what I'm doing is focusing on the healing aspect. Even a year ago when I was sharing on social media that I was journaling all the time and I was focusing on my healing, dude. Healing isn't just like a three month process. It's literally been a year for me this month that that breakup happened and exposed a lot of things, but also exposed the things that I was just continuing to push through of the eight years of, of building company, which I will do all over again.

30:19Like I said, but I would probably, I would do it way different. Do it all again, but I would do it a little bit different. All right. Personally for me, like how I've shown up. Just know to like you're allowed to feel what you feel. And you're allowed to, I feel like I'm starting all over again, but in a really good way. All right. So if this spoke to your heart, you guys, please send me a DM, tag me, share it on your story. Like, let's not pretend we're okay when we're not. Let's not like fake being strong when what we really need to support.

30:54Like you guys, we're not alone. You're not alone. And we don't need to be the superwoman to feel insanely powerful and to be powerful. Okay. So shoot me a DM if you need to. I love you guys. And I'll see you in the next episode. Hey, really quick before you go, I've one small favorite ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference. Helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence.

31:25It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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