The Fear That’s Holding You Back From Everything

00:00I've talked to so many women who know like that lifting heavier would change their body composition. They've heard it, they believe it, but they don't do it. And when you dig into why, it almost always comes back to the version of I don't want to look stupid or I don't want people to stare at me. I don't want to be in the way. I don't want to just like sometimes people are afraid to just walk up in front of somebody that's sitting on a bench doing their workout, looking in the mirror to put dumbbells back. Guys, don't be afraid to take up space. This is what I want to say about that. Nobody is watching as much as you think they are.

00:30What's going on, my friends? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkie Stott. And on these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I'm your host, Nikkie Stott. And welcome, guys, to what I think is going to be such a good episode today.

01:02This one is on my heart right now for y'all. And I just hope that I'm able to breathe some life into you guys that made me feeling this way. So that you can kind of get out of your own way with it and go and pursue the goals that you want to accomplish. All right. So today in today's episode, episode number 348, we're going to talk about the fear of judgment. And not like I don't want to it's not going to be therapy session, guys. It's not going to be like, let's process our feelings kind of like talk here. I just want to be like real, direct, like call it what it is kind of, you know, conversation with you guys.

01:37Because fear of what other people think is one of – I feel like it's one of the single biggest reasons why a lot of women stay stuck. Outset, it's more like the biggest reason mindset-wise that women stay stuck. You know, in the gym, in their health journey. And most of the time, they don't even realize that it is a fear. It's just – it can look like hesitation or it can look like waiting until they're ready or just not quite being able to go all in on something. So today, we're just going to, you know, pull it out of the shadows and look at it directly.

02:11Just like head on. Like this is what it is kind of situation. All right. So I want to start with what I feel like most of you guys need to hear. Because when you guys hear the fear of judgment, a lot of people can sometimes picture somebody who may be like visibly insecure or, you know, someone that is just constantly seeking approval from people. And you could think when I say fear of judgment, like you could think, oh, like you may think that way and then you're probably like, oh, well, that's not me.

02:44But fear of judgment is very sneaky. It doesn't always show up as like obvious insecurity or, you know, looking for that constant approval. It shows up as some like – it's some really reasonably sounding excuses that you may be saying on a daily basis. It could look like – like you don't go to the gym because you want to lose weight first. Like you'll start when you look more like somebody who actually belongs in the gym. You'll go when you know what you're doing so nobody watches you fumble through a new exercise.

03:19You'll maybe try that class when you're a little bit more fitter, a little bit more, you know, further along in your journey or a little more confident with the way that your form is or, you know, a little more ready. Right? Or for me at the beginning of my journey, it looked like me staying in the cardio section. Not because cardio is what I wanted to do. Trust. It is not what I wanted to do. But it was because the weight room felt like – it was like a men's territory. Like it was somebody else's territory and I didn't want to be seen not knowing what I was doing in it.

03:52Right? Or it could look like maybe not posting your progress, not sharing your journey, not telling people why you're working on yourself. Because then what if you fail? What if you post about your goals and then you fall off and then everybody sees it? This is the kind of stuff that it looks like. It maybe looks like playing small when you're in conversations about fitness and nutrition. Like nodding along even though you know something different.

04:24Right? Like maybe you're on this journey but you're too afraid to speak up and you're too afraid to talk about your progress. You're too afraid to talk about what you're learning because you don't want to cause conflict or maybe go against what somebody's saying. Because having an opinion means someone might push back on you. It looks like maybe quitting before you've actually really even started. Because if you never really fully commit, then you never really fully lose. Right? Does any of this sound familiar? Because this is what the fear of judgment actually looks like on your fitness journey.

04:59Not some type of insecurity and not some type of like I'm looking for constant approval from people. No, no, no, no. This is the deeper stuff. It is so much more common with these underlying things. And we need to be able to talk about these things. Right? I don't want to make it into a therapy session. But I do think it's worth understanding why this fear is so strong. Especially when it comes to women. So if you think about it and how we're wired. We're wired for belonging.

05:29We're wired for like deeply belonging with people and individuals and seeking that type of connection. And being rejected from a group. It's not just uncomfortable. It's also dangerous for us at a deeper level. So our brains are developed. They developed a very sophisticated alarm system for anything that might make us look bad. Or might make us stand out in a negative way. Or risk social rejection from a peer group that you're in.

06:00And that alarm system, it's still running. It's always running. Even when the stakes are that someone might just judge my squat form. Just by somebody walking in and you're in the weight room and you're picking up dumbbells and there's somebody else watching me. Guys, this used to be me. And that's why I'm so deeply like... You can probably feel I'm so passionate about this by the way. Calm down, Nikki. Because when I started my journey, I would wear a hat. Like for some of you guys that have been around since day one, day one. Love you guys.

06:31But you guys know the story of where I put on my Nike. I don't even... I don't think I have it anymore. I mean, I had it for years though. My Nike hat with the wish symbol. And man, I think I'll wear and tear. I wore it for years. But I acted as if it was like blinders. So that I couldn't see other people because I had this constant alarm system running like, Oh, there's probably people judging me for my form. Or people are looking at me, you know, while I'm lifting this weight.

07:01And guys, especially for us, for women specifically, like we are socialized from a very young age to manage other people's perceptions of us. To be likable. To not take up too much space. To not be too much. To shrink ourselves into something more palpable and comfortable for everybody around us. So when you walk into a gym and you feel that prickle of like self-consciousness, when you hesitate before, you know, sharing your progress with somebody, when you downplay your goals and nobody thinks that you're too ambitious,

07:33that is not weakness. That is just years and years and years and years and years of conditioning doing exactly what it's designed to do. But what was designed to protect you is also now limiting you. And that at some point you have to decide that what you want for your life is more important than managing everyone else's opinion of you, around you, and what you're doing. That decision is where everything starts to change. When I first started my journey, there were so many people in my ear. Friends, family.

08:04Be like, you can't do that. Everybody had an opinion about what I wanted to do. Because there was one thing that I didn't downplay when I started my journey. I may have other areas of what I said and gave examples of, yes, that was me. But one thing I didn't downplay was what I was wanting to do and the goals that I wanted to go after. And typically, you know, maybe this will help some of you guys, but sometimes people say you shouldn't share your goals with everybody because of that. Like if you know that you're not strong enough to not let the weight of other people's opinions in that specific bucket get to you,

08:41then don't share your goals with people. Kind of do it silently first and then be able to speak up. So like when all of the buckets that are named, it's like, which one resonated with you the most and which one can you work on a little bit more? To step in boldly. Not out of fear, but to step in boldly for what you're doing. And, you know, be able to just show up and I'm going to get to this too in a little bit, but just be able to just knowing just don't let these things limit you anymore. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode,

09:11take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. I do want to like comb back in on the gym for a minute because I think it's one of the most concentrated spaces where fear of judgment plays out. And it's one of the places where it costs women the most. The weight women in particular, like what I kind of just share with you guys a little bit about when I first started my journey,

09:44it's still there in 2026. It's still like a version of the gym that feels like it belongs to men. It's the heavy section. It's squat racks. It's the platforms. I am seeing more younger women like go in there and go in and take, you know, up space in there. But so many women orbit around the edges of the space, like doing what feels safe and doing what's approved. And, you know, rather than just what would actually move the needle for their own specific goals. And I've talked to so many women who know like they know that lifting heavier would change their body composition.

10:18They've heard it. They believe it. But they don't do it. And when you dig into why, it almost always comes back to the version of I don't want to look stupid or I don't want people to stare at me or I don't want to be in the way. I don't want to just like sometimes people are afraid to just walk up in front of somebody that's sitting on a bench doing their workout looking in the mirror to put dumbbells back. Like, guys, don't be afraid to take up space. All right. This is what I want to say about that. Nobody is watching you as much as you think they are.

10:49And if you need to do something like I did early in my journey where I put a hat on so I couldn't see people around me, then do it. Do something that's going to support you and what you want to get after. But also know nobody's really watching you as much. Like I promise you that everyone in the gym is there is far more focused on their own workout, their own body, their own insecurities than they are on you. The judgment that you're so afraid of, most of it is not happening outside of your own head. It's all happening in your own mind. And the small amount that is happening, like the occasional person who like might clock what you're doing.

11:25I remember my, I remember there was, it was probably like two months into my journey. And this man came up to me in the gym was like, oh, you could do this exercise better. It's also about the way that you respond. Because that in an insecure person could totally shut somebody down. But also you could just be like, thank you. I appreciate that. And then just go about your own business. Because there are people that are probably in there clocking you on form and have their own opinion. But it's also, it could be irrelevant to your goals, what their opinion is.

11:58Their opinion has zero bearing on what your body is capable of. Like zero bearing on what you could build and can do. Zero bearing on your life. So like if people want to come up to you and clock you for weird form or like say something about what you're doing. If it's, especially if it's negative. Like people are in the gym or will come up and be like, oh, you look great. Or your form looks spot on. Looks like you've been doing it for years. Like I've heard that. There's positive light in the compliments in the gym. But there's also those people that can just be like, why did you even speak up right now?

12:31Right? But remember that their opinion has zero bearing on you and your goals. But I also get, you know, your fear of their opinion. That because it's not the thing standing between you and the version of yourself that you're working toward. Remember that. I get it has some type of a big bearing on you or it could feel enormous. And because it could be the thing. Like if you allow to absorb their own opinion of what they're saying to you, you could allow that to get in the way of what you're working towards.

13:10Like I've seen it before. Like in conversations with women. As someone said like something very deflating in the gym to a woman. And then if that's deflating, that woman could stop going to the gym. Because she doesn't want to have that emotional encounter again. I don't blame her. But remember, these opinions aren't based on you. These opinions are based on what this individual is going on in their own life. So don't allow it to stand between you and the version of yourself that you're working towards.

13:41There's a concept that I love. And it's simple, but it hits every single time. What other people think of you is none of your business. Period. What other people think of you is none of your business. Not because their feelings don't matter. But because their opinion of your journey is not information you need to operate from. It doesn't help you. It only holds you back. The only type of opinion I'm ever going to take an opinion from, from a person,

14:12is if they are far more successful than me in the area that I am trying to get to. So if somebody is coming up to me like a woman that is jacked, she's ripped, she's toned, she's been doing this for years, she can maintain it for years. I'm going to listen to what she has to say. But if somebody is coming up to me and you're lack of better judgment, you know, you don't, you don't look like you go to the gym consistently and you have a hard time with your nutrition, I'm not going to take advice from you.

14:44I'm not going to take an opinion from you. Okay? So this is like, that's a general rule of thumb. Whether, and as an opinion, it's not, opinion and advice are different. If people are just dishing out their opinions to you, again, what do people think of you as none of your, none of their business? Okay? Especially if they're throwing opinions at you. If it's advice, that's a different, like, the advice would probably go to what I just said. In terms of I'm only going to take advice to people that are far more successful than I am in that one area that I'm looking for advice in.

15:14Opinions, like, okay, cool. Give me your opinions. That's great. But it doesn't, you need to have a filter of what you will agree upon to and what you won't agree upon to. Information that you don't need to operate from or will operate from. But majority of the time, don't take opinions on the people. Unless, like, you know, you can dive a little bit deeper in it with them. If it's just somebody, a Joe Smo passing by in the gym. Anyway, I'm going on a rant now. You guys get what I'm talking about that. All right? Now, I want to zoom out of this for a second because

15:44it also doesn't just stay in the gym. It never does. The fear that keeps you out of the weight room is the same exact fear that keeps you from fully committing to your nutrition. Because if you tell people that you're tracking your macros, they're going to have, not they might, they will have opinions. They might call you obsessed. They might make comments at dinner. Y'all, I used to bring my meals to Easter, to Thanksgiving, to holidays, packed up in Tupperwares.

16:19I had this. And again, like, I, this is where I was a little bit stronger. And like, I didn't allow, I had like a protective bubble around me is what I used to say. And I wouldn't allow these opinions to penetrate my bubble. Okay? So that's where you struggle with. If this is what you struggle with, don't be afraid to speak about your goals because you are the only person in your mind that knows what those goals look and feel like. They only make sense to you. And only you. Sometimes your husband, your partner, people in your circle aren't going to get them.

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18:00How do I handle those people? But anyway, I'm not because that's probably another topic for another day. But again, they're going to have things to say. And it's easier to just like quietly at that point, like if you allow the penetration through the bubble, it allows it will quietly make you have do what you're doing. So you don't have to have those types of conversations with people. It will make you have to tracking macros and make you be half committed. Because you don't want to be called obsessed. You don't want to be like, why are you tracking your food? Why are you bringing your meals to dinner?

18:33It's the same fear that keeps you from, you know, showing up and talking about your journey, even though you know that, you know, your story could help somebody else. But what if you gain all the weight back? What about if you fail? What if your progress is slower than what other people's are? What if, you know, someone in your life sees it and has something to say about it? Your journey is your journey. It's allowed to take however long it's meant to take for you for it to click for you. So if you want to share your journey and encourage other people, I highly encourage you to do that.

19:03Because there's people around you at work that are struggling and they don't even say it out loud. But by you sharing your journey may give somebody else the ability, the vulnerability to speak up. And then it's also the same fear that we're talking about is also something that's letting yourself want what you want. From saying that out, like out loud, like I want to be strong. I want to feel confident in my body. I want to build something that I'm proud of. Like being able to say that. Because wanting that means, that means being seen wanting the things.

19:36And being seen wanting them means someone might watch you not get there. And that is an exhausting way to live, my friends. But so many people are living it every single day without even realizing what's happening. This is what's happening. Let me be real about this. Because I think sometimes we minimize, we minimize this. Like we treat it like it's just a personality quirk. Or like, you know, a little shyness. Or not a big deal. But it is a big deal. Fear of judgment costs you time. Every month you wait to start because you're not ready enough.

20:08Or you feel, or you're small. Or you're not confident enough. That's time you won't get back. Your body is changing whether you're working with it or not. Time is not neutral. It costs you results. Like the modifications you make to your training to stay comfortable and not seen in the weight room. Like lighter weights, easier exercises, skipping the things that feel vulnerable. Those modifications directly impact what your body is able to build and capable of.

20:40Playing it safe in the gym means you're just moving slower, you're smaller, and you're getting less satisfying results. And I'll tell you guys this because if I hadn't leaned into my own journey and like dealt with people's opinions and dealt with social media and opinions. Talk about you having people say something in your ear with your circle. Wait till you put yourself on social media guys. This episode of hope that you just develop thick skin for yourself.

21:11Because it can cost you sharing your story. Because like the women who share their journey, like the imperfection side of it, the vulnerability, like the ability to do it in real time. So many people now that are just getting to know who I am didn't see like the last 10 years or even when I was competing. Like the grueling pain and ups and downs I was going through in order to build the composition that I have now. And to be able to sustain it. Right? Like the one, the women who share their journey are the ones who build community, you find accountability.

21:44This is, this is all how warrior babe has come about. Because I was able to show that the vulnerable side of it. I was able to be real time with it. I was able to show that there is no perfect side of building a healthy body. You're going to mess up. I was vulnerable on social media of messing up and not being perfect. The women who hide their journey to avoid judgment have nothing to look back on and nobody walking alongside them. I'll tell you now having women in the community who believe that they can do it because of my journey.

22:16Or believe that they can do it because of somebody else's journey within the community. That's huge. Just by sharing your story. And it also costs you the version of yourself that you're already actually capable of. becoming. That, that one's the hardest to quantify. But it's the most real. Because you half-assing or half, half showing up or being half committed. And not fully diving in because of this fear of judgment.

22:50It's, you're only half getting to where you want to be. And not fully leaning in to be the 100% person that you want to become. The person that's different than who you are right now. Because a woman on the other side of this. Like, think about if you have a line in the sand. Okay? And we're on this side and we're talking about all the things we're talking about in this episode. The fear of judgment. The fear of not showing up. The fear of, you know, what it looks like. What I look like inside the gym.

23:21The fear of not committing. Draw a line. The woman on the other side of that fear. She works out. She trains. She trains differently. She trains with commitment and passion. She pushes herself inside of the gym. She doesn't care what people look like. She commits differently. She shows up for herself differently. Not because she became fearless. But because she decided her goals matter more than her fear did. And there's anything that I encourage you guys to, like, do is to believe in yourself.

23:51Even when it feels hard. Or get inside of Warrior Babe with other women and buy the belief from a coach. Buy the belief from our team. If you don't have the belief yet for yourself. All right? And, like, you guys know that I like to give you guys some practical stuff when you're on. We're on this podcast together. But let's just talk about some things that are easily able to be implemented. Whenever you feel, first of all, name the moment. So whenever you feel like you're hesitating, like, before you go to the gym.

24:21Before you post something on social media. Before you commit to something. Before you dive into nutrition and tracking. Get in the habit of asking, is this a fear of judgment? And just naming it will disrupt you being an autopilot of the next action. It puts you back in the driver's seat. So if you're hesitating going to the gym, name it. Is this because I'm a fear of being judged and I don't want to be seen? Name it. Call it out. And then next, do it afraid. This is one that this is. That's that's that's what actually works. You don't have to feel confident before you act.

24:53Confidence is only built through the action. Not the other way around. Every time you walk into the weight room. Walk in the weight room anyway. Post the update anyway. Commit out loud anyway. Say things about your goals out loud anyway. You're building evidence that you can actually handle it. And then the more that you do that. The more that you just do it afraid. The more you act. Even if you don't feel confident. That fear is going to get smaller and smaller and smaller every single time.

25:29And then I would say get around women that are doing it. Environment. Your environment is everything. When you're surrounded by women who are lifting heavy or sharing their journey, who are committing out loud. Who are not shrinking themselves. That becomes your new normal. What feels scary in isolation actually feels possible when you're part of a community. It's one of the I believe one of the most underrated tools for overcoming this kind of fear. And I will start by saying this. We're not start but say this.

25:59We have a free warrior babe community. So like it's free. You have nothing to lose. Get yourself inside of our free Facebook group to be around women like this. If you go to the links in the description, free Facebook group should be there. If you go to Facebook and you Google warrior babe community or you search in the search engine warrior babe community. Ask to join the warrior babe community. It's a black banner. Okay. So do it. And even if you're afraid of being in the community, you don't even have to post anything.

26:32You just see what the community is about. You can attend our free calls that we do on a weekly basis to help you be absorbed with this information and with this mindset. And with, you know, just having this type of support on your journey. So I'm going to leave you guys with this one. The version of you that you're working towards. The one who's strong. The one who's confident, consistent, proud of how she's showing up. She's not fearless. She's not someone who never worries about what people think. I still do that. But I will say she is someone who dedicated.

27:04She decided that her goals matter more than her fear do. And she acts like it even when it's uncomfortable. And then a decision, my friends, is available to you guys right now. Not when you've lost the weight. Not when you feel ready. Not when you're more confident, but right or confident, but right now. So what would you do today if you weren't afraid of being judged? Go do that. Go do that. And if you want to be in a community of women who are showing up exactly that and perfectly, consistently, without shrinking, Warrior Babe is it for you.

27:39And then Warrior Babe VIP if you want to coach. Real coaching, real accountability. All those links are below this podcast. And then share this episode with somebody who needs it. Who needs to hear this words of encouragement today. You probably already know who that person is, so go share it with them. All right? I love you guys. And I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it.

28:11And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.