The Real Reason You Can’t Stay Consistent

00:00Motivation is a feeling that makes starting any journey feel so easy for anybody that's like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited to start out with this new workout program or I'm so excited to get into WarriorBabe. Like that's motivation, but it is a terrible foundation for staying consistent. The reframe that I want you guys to carry on and think about is motivation is the spark, but it is not the fuel. It will get you started, but it is not what keeps you going. What keeps you going is building what we're going to dive into, like the system, the structure that removes the need to feel motivated in order to act.

00:40What's going on, everyone? Hey, you guys, welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkie Stott. And on these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. Today is episode number 351. And today, we're going to talk about something that I talked about a really, really, really long time. And I probably talked about it a couple of times here and there throughout the all 350 episodes. But I want to bring it back today and just remind you guys that no matter how long you've been in your fitness journey,

01:18no matter how many times you started over, no matter how many times you know about nutrition and training and all of the things, even if you're learning or you're just starting out, no matter where you're at, motivation runs out. Every single time, motivation runs out. So what we're going to talk about today is getting into like the actual mechanics. What does like the system look like in real life? Why most people's systems like quietly break down without them realizing it?

01:49And what to do on the days that your system and your motivation feels like impossible? I've touched on like focusing on your systems and diving into the systems because that's what will help you stay the course, even when motivation isn't there, instead of focusing on the end goals. And I'm kind of taking that topic, but I'm like repurposing it in a different light. Like a new, something new is being born of that topic, if that makes sense, right? So I want to start here because I think there's a lot of confusion about what motivation actually is.

02:26And it's the role that it's supposed to play in your fitness journey. I remember having this conversation actually with Sal DiStefano. He was on, you know, the main guy from Mind Pump. He was on the episode, he was on The WarriorBabe Show way back in like, I think it was in the hundreds or maybe before that. And we, you know, I asked him out of the gate, I was like, what's one of the misconceptions in the fitness space that you see? And he talked about motivation. And it was a really cool concept that he dove into. So I kind of want to bring that back and just talk and remind you guys that motivation is an emotion.

03:00And like every single emotion, it is temporary. It is unpredictable. And it is completely outside of your control. Motivation shows that when it feels like it disappears, it when it feels like it disappears, it when a life gets hard, when you're tired, and it disappears when results aren't coming fast enough. And if something is stressful that happens at work, it disappears. Like, and if you have a bad day, if you have a bad week, and even maybe a worse weekend, the whole journey that you're on just feels like, just feels pointless.

03:33Fitness, nutrition, workouts, it feels pointless. Like, why even continue? And motivation is a feeling that like, makes starting any journey feel so easy for anybody that's like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited to start out in this new workout program. Or I'm so excited to get into Warrior Babe. Like, that's motivation. But it is a terrible foundation for staying consistent. So the reframe that I want you guys to carry on and think about is motivation is a is the spark, but it is not the fuel.

04:04It will get you started. But it is not what keeps you going. What keeps you going is building what we're going to dive into like the system, the structure that removes the need to feel motivated in order to act. So think about this thing about you brushing your teeth every morning and every night. I hope you brush them two times a day. You don't wake up every morning feeling motivated to brush your teeth, right? You just you don't like, oh, I'm, I'm so excited to brush my teeth. Like you don't like hype yourself up over it.

04:34You don't, you don't need to be in the right headspace. Like you just do it. Because it's a habit that's so deeply embedded in your routine, that the question of whether you'd rather to do it, it doesn't even come up like it's just automatic, right? That's what a great fitness system looks like. It's not rigid. It's not perfect. It's not military style schedule. It's a structure so ingrained in your life that showing up is the default and not showing up is the thing that feels like weird, feels awkward.

05:08That's the ideal part to get to. The goal is never to stay motivated. You guys, I, I will be the first one to tell you in the 10 years of being on my journey and even anyway that's been, you know, if you talk to any warrior babes or you talk to Maggie or you talk to Andrew or any one of us, we're never, we're not motivated every single day. The goal is to never stay motivated. The goal is to build something that works even when you're not working, even when you're not motivated. Okay. So if we use the term systems, if systems are the answer, why do so many people build them

05:44and then still fall off? And I watched this happen with thousands of women and it almost comes down to one of four reasons. The first reason is the system was built for their best self, not their real self. This one is the most common one. You sit down on a Sunday, you're feeling so inspired. You built out the perfect week. You meal propped on Sunday. You have your entire gym schedule. You're going to go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.

06:16Your macros are already tracked inside your app every single day. You're in bed by 10 p.m. You know, it looks incredible on paper. And then your real life shows up knocking. Knock, knock, knock. You get a last minute work deadline. Your kid gets sick. You're exhausted from a stressful week at work. And the idea of cooking four containers of food on one of your free afternoons sounds like it's absolute torture. And it's the last thing you want to do. All you want to do is lay horizontal on the couch.

06:48And because your system required your best case scenario. I mean, think about where you planned that from. Like you were so hype. It requires your best case to execute it. The whole thing collapses the moment the conditions aren't perfect for you. And a good system is not built for your best days. It is built to survive your worst ones. So just remember that. Like taking into consideration your real life situations and the things that might happen.

07:22And like for me, like I live and die by my calendar. So like I'm able to see if like, oh, that day is packed. I'm going to be realistic. Ain't nothing yet. I'm not cooking dinner. I'm not going to the gym. So it's like being honest and real yourself and taking into accountability your real self, not your best self. Another thing that I see is that the system had no flexibility built in it. It's an all or nothing thinking. And that all or nothing thinking kills more fitness journeys than anything else.

07:53When your system is I track every day perfectly or I failed and I sucked today. One bad day becomes permission to abandon the entire week. And when your system is I work out five days a week or I'm off track, missing one session becomes a reason to miss three more sessions in that week. A system needs room to bend and to mold and to rearrange things without feeling like you're breaking it.

08:28That flexibility that you are ingraining in it is not you being weak or you being lazy. It's what makes a system sustainable and realistic over months and years instead of just weeks. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss,

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09:35That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. Another one that I see is friction was way too high. Friction is anything that makes the desired behavior harder to do. So your gym bag isn't packed. So you have to find your shoes, you have to find your headphones, you have to find your water ball before you leave. That's friction. Or your food isn't prepped.

10:06So you have to make a decision about every single meal from scratch. Friction. Your workout isn't planned. So then you spend 10, 15 minutes in the gym trying to figure out what you're doing. Friction. All of that friction adds up. And on a low motivation day, any one of those things is enough to just tip the scale towards skipping and not doing it. So what a great system does is it reduces the friction to the absolute minimum.

10:40So that the path of least resistance leads towards a behavior that you want, not away from it. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. The last one that I see is the system relied on decisions.

11:13Every decision that you have to make takes and requires energy, mental bandwidth. A decision fatigue is real. Real, real. How many, I mean, ladies, when your husband or your partner ask you, what do you want for dinner? And you're like, I don't know. You don't want to have to make that decision. If it's a night that you're not cooking, right? That decision fatigue is real. You probably make all a tons of decisions in the day for your family, for your kids. The last thing you want to think about is eating. And by the end of a long, stressful day, your decision making capacity is completely,

11:47genuinely fatigued and depleted. If your decision, if your system requires you to decide what to eat, decide what to work, when to work out, decide how hard to push all in the moment, you're going to make the wrong call more often than not when you're tired and because you're tired and depleted. So what I've seen is that making decisions in advance, that's a great system. You decide once. You decide when you have the energy and the clarity. Like planning your weeks in advance, prepping your meals a day before.

12:19So you don't have to decide like, what am I going to eat for lunch today? And you don't have to decide again the moment when you don't want to decide. Right? So again, practical. Let's talk practical talk. And like how, what a real sustainable like fitness, a life-proof fitness system may actually look like in real time. When it comes to your workouts, anchor your workouts to an existing habit. The most, that's one of the most powerful things that you can do, especially starting out.

12:50If you're not motivated, let's say you've got joined into a program and you're so excited and you're so motivated and you're acting on that willpower and you're acting on that hype. The most powerful thing that you can do is make training automatic and to attach to something that you already do every day without thinking. Not I'll work out when I have the time because you're never going to have the time. You have to make that time. And it's one number one here thing I hear people say is I'm too busy to work out. No, yeah, I'm sure everybody is busy. People that are busy make the time to work out.

13:21But right after I drop off the kids at school, like this is you making the, anchoring your workouts. Right after I drop off the kids at school or before I open up my laptop in the morning or immediately after I work before I get home, then that's when you're going to work out. The existing habit becomes a trigger. The workout becomes the automatic thing next. So right after I drop off the kids at school, I'm going to work out. Or before I open my laptop in the morning, I'm going to work out. And you stop having to decide when to work out because it's already decided.

13:55And then it lives in this slot that's already in your day. For some of you, like putting it on, I have it on my calendar. I have this time block. You can see it. I have it 365 days out. Probably even it's an event that I add on my calendar that I will not remove. And I recommend that you guys do the same thing. Another thing that I would say is design your environment before you need like the willpower to act on something. So what that means is pack your bag the night before. Put it in front of your door.

14:26Lay out your gym clothes on your, like on the side of your bed on a chair if you have one. Or folded right in your closet the first thing that you see. Keep your food scale. I do this at home. Keep your food scale on the counter, not in the cabinet. Have your go-to high protein meals packed for the week so that you're not staring in the fridge at 6 p.m. thinking about what you're going to make on an empty stomach. Like you already have these things, which is, here's a genius thing that I did for myself this week.

14:59Asked AI to give me, because I cook three nights a week, give me three dinners that I can interchangeably use the ingredients that I make in one over the course of the three. So that I'm not wasting food. But the proteins change. It was the most genius thing. I made chicken thighs and vegetables with a carb on Monday. Made a ton of the vegetables.

15:29So saved the vegetables and then saved some of the chicken thighs that were left over. The next day, used the vegetables and made like a pasta with the shredded chicken from the chicken thighs. And then there wasn't enough protein. So I cooked up some ground turkey and added that into the pasta. So it was penne pasta with vegetables, chicken thigh, and the ground turkey. And then still have vegetables left over. So I'm going to use the vegetables and do like a stir fry.

16:01And do a sore loin steak with the vegetables and rice. And all of the meals get used. But see, I'm already deciding the environment beforehand. So all my meals are already decided well in advance. And then I make them throughout the week, right? Your environment should be set up to make the right decisions and the right choices and make it easy for you. Because when you're tired and you're not motivated, you're not, you're going to take the least paths of resistance.

16:33So make sure that even when you're not motivated and you're, you want to take it easy. Like I, like that thought was already done. All I had to do was just plug and play. So, and I'm, trust me, I was not motivated the one day I had. My Tuesday was packed. Last thing I wanted to do was make dinner. But it took me since it was already planned. And then I had the food left over from the night before. So I just had to mix it all together. It took me 20 minutes to make. So even when you were not motivated, just make sure that that path leads you still to where you want to go.

17:04And you're taking the path of least resistance. And then another one is like build a minimal viable version of every habit. So the minimal thing that you will still do. And this is the one that could change everything for you on the days when you're, when you, when it's life is genuinely hard. For every element of your system, have a minimal version that still counts as you showing up. So if you can't do your full hour workout, then what's your minimum? 30 minutes?

17:3430 minutes?

18:04Is a bonus at that point. That could be the absolute game changer. If there's anything that I would say to implement, that would be the one thing to implement. What is your minimum viable version of the habit that you are, that you are building into your system? And looking at every element of your system and just making sure each one has that minimum version and still show up. And then plan for expectations to happen. They are going to happen. The person who stays consistent long term, they are not the ones who never have hard days or

18:36hard weeks. They're the ones who already know that they're going, what they're going to do when a hard week or a hard day hits before it even hits. So what's your plan? For example, if you're traveling, when you have a family event, do you think ahead in these things? When I was coaching women, my women would always come because like at the first month, oh, I have X, Y, and Z plan this month with my family or for traveling for work. So let's get ahead of that now and make a plan and make expectations for things to happen before

19:08it even happens. If you don't have a plan for those scenarios in advance, then you are going to make an emotional decision in the moment. And emotional decisions under stress almost never align with your goals. So plan the expectations now ahead of time when you're able to think clearly so that the future you already has it on autopilot and a script to follow.

19:40So I'm going to say this with love because this whole talk that I'm having, you guys, systems are in like, you know, how we're implementing it into the day to day and where I've seen them people fall short. They're incredibly powerful. Systems are incredibly powerful. But systems without you, without the identity, without you working towards something and changing up who you are now to become somebody that's actually a fitness person or working out and

20:11it's just ingrained in the habits you have. Systems without that type of identity are just schedules and schedules will get abandoned. If you don't love and care about the outcome that you are working towards, then it's just going to get abandoned along the way. And just to break down even more, what I mean by that is that the reason the most consistent women inside the worry book community stay consistent isn't just because they have a good system. It's because they have made a fundamental shift in who they believe that they are becoming. They're not trying to become someone who works out.

20:45They are someone who works out. They're not trying to become someone who tracks their macros. They are someone who tracks their macros. That identity piece, this is just who I am now, is what makes the system feel natural instead of making it feel forced. And here's one thing about the identity. It's built through evidence. So every time that you show up and you don't feel like it, you cast a vote for who you are right now.

21:17Every time that you choose a minimal version over nothing, you cast a vote for the future you that you are working towards becoming. Every time you honor the plan that you made for yourself instead of the emotional decision in the moment, vote. You're voting towards a future person you are working towards becoming. And those votes, they add up. And at some point, you may not even notice exactly when they add up, but the identity becomes real. You stop having to motivate yourself to show up because showing up is just what you do now.

21:49It's who you are. That's the long game. And that game is so worth playing. I'm saying that because I'm on the other side of it. So a summary of everything that we just covered today. Because I want this to be something that you can actually use, actually put into place. Not just something that sounds good while you're listening to me right now speak to you through the episode. Motivation is the spark. It is what gets you started. It is not what keeps you going. Building a great system.

22:20One that is built for your real life, not for your best self. One that has flexibility. One that reduces friction. One that eliminates your decisions in advance. And it has a minimum version for every hard day. That is a great system. And then identity is what makes the system stick. Every time you show up anyway. Every time that if you don't have time for an hour workout, but you show up for a 30 minute workout.

22:50Every time that's you showing up. You are building the evidence that this is who you are and who you are becoming. The you right now is someone who is inconsistently tracking. Someone who is inconsistently working out. Maybe getting 2k steps a day. Then 5k. But like then goes periods in between of not doing any of that. Something needs to change. By you thinking about the person you're becoming who is consistent.

23:21Not perfect. Consistent in the way she shows up. Consistent in getting her workouts. And consistent in tracking her macros. Consistent in having a plan. Consistent in making decisions in advance. So that she can just be on autopilot during the week. In between that. Is you just taking different actions to make these systems work for you into your life. And then you showing up every day. In some capacity. That supports that future you. And on the hard days don't negotiate. Just start. Just do it. Just use the minimum. Just separate feelings from actions.

23:51And just take the action. Because regardless of how you're feeling. The action is going to feel great in the end. Because it's a minimal standard that you set for yourself. And when you don't feel ready. You don't need to feel motivated. You just need to start. And then the systems that you have in place will just take it from there. Alright? So before I end this episode today. If you want to be surrounded by women who are building exactly this kind of consistency. They're showing up imperfectly. They're doing the work. They're supporting each other. They're doing the work even on the hard days. Then come join us inside of the free Warrior Beave community.

24:24It's completely free. It's full of women in your exact area of life. Maybe even living in the exact town that you're in. And you can find an accountability partner in real time. Or just find an accountability partner. Or over the internet. So many women have done that in our community. That environment matters. Who you are around matters. So tap the link in the description to join. The show notes below. It's actually there. I feel like of the last couple. Maybe some episodes I've said that. And it's not there. It's there.

24:54And then share this episode with someone in your life who has been struggling to stay consistent and just needs this. Because I promise she will hear this. And maybe show up differently. And you could be the pillar. You could be the reason why she shows up differently. Alright? I'll see you guys in the next episode. I love you very much. And have a great rest of your day. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it.

25:25And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

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