The Real Reason You Keep Starting Over

00:00What are you actually willing to do? Not what you're capable of, not what you think you should be willing to do. What are you actually, genuinely, honestly willing to do? Consistently, four months, not just in a motivated week. Because capability and your willingness are not the same thing. And sustained results that are there for the long term require willingness, not just your capability. Are you willing to track your food every day, including the weekends, including social events, including the days when it's inconvenient?

00:38What's going on, everyone? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show. And in today's episode, I'm just going to bypass the intro. I'm sure some of you guys could recite that intro. Anyway, I'm going to bypass it because I kind of just want to get right into it. I'm not going to talk about another strategy here with you guys. I'm not going to talk about like a macro split or talking about GLP-1s or talking about an optimization to your training program or protein or any of those things.

01:09Because I want this conversation, this is a conversation that has to happen before any of that even matters. And I don't really think anybody has brought light to this type of conversation. And this is what I've noticed working with thousands of women and seeing thousands of women inside of our Warrior Babe programs is that the programs are not the problem. Most programs, if they are done consistently and correctly and with effort, they work.

01:39The thing that breaks is the person starting them without being honest about what they're actually walking in with. Like the unexamined expectations, the unaddressed patterns that keep happening from program to program to program. The things that stop them the last that they never really looked at directly. The real version of their life that that program has to actually fit into. So today I want to do this like internal audit with you.

02:12I want the conversation that you need to be having with yourself like an honest, probably uncomfortable, but a complete conversation that you need to have with yourself before you start anything new. Whether that is a coaching program, whether that is a nutrition plan, whether that's a new workout program, or it's just like a reset after a difficult season. It could not even be anything related to fitness. But I want this episode to really sink in with you guys. And I want this episode, I want you to understand that this is probably the step that most women skip.

02:48And it's a step that truly, truly determines whether this time that you're walking into a new program is actually going to be different. Okay? So we're going to talk about five specific questions I want you to ask yourself. And I think the fifth is one of the most important ones. I want to start first though, with a truth that I feel like the fitness industry doesn't really want to say out loud. Most programs that fail, don't fail because the program was wrong. They fail because the person starting the program was not honest with themselves about where they actually are, what they were actually signing up for.

03:24Like, what their life actually looks like and what has to stop them, what has to stop for them to start this new program and what has actually stopped them before. So they don't repeat these same things going into a new program. You get what I'm saying? They fail in the gap between these programs out there. They don't fail because it was wrong. They fail because in the gap between the version of you, you imagine when you're signing up, the motivated, consistent, like fully committed you.

03:55And then there's the gap between the version of you that shows up on a Tuesday night when you're exhausted, when you're stressed out. And the last thing that you want to do is open up an app and log your food or think about tomorrow's workout. Am I right? That gap is not a character flaw. That gap is not something wrong with you. That is just literally reality. And the programs that survive contact with reality are the ones that were built with reality in mind from the very beginning.

04:29So most women who start a new program, they start by asking, what do I need to do? What should I eat? How should I train? These are, in my opinion, those are the wrong first questions to be asking. The right first questions are, who am I actually walking into this as? What has stopped me before and why has that stopped me before? What does my real life, not my ideal life, what does my real life actually look like right now?

05:02And what can I actually take on right now? What needs to kind of, what needs to become a priority and what needs to stop becoming a priority? And what am I genuinely willing to do versus what sounds good right now in a motivated moment? Now those questions, those questions are harder, right? They require a level of honesty that can be uncomfortable. And they're entirely different, entirely different between a program that works and a program that becomes just another thing that you tried.

05:32Does that resonate with you guys? That's why most programs fail from the very start. Because there's this gap and they're really good at surviving. Programs are really good at just holding on to that gap. With the reality of what people are actually showing up in. The one that they're imagining in their future self. And they're not being honest with the reality of what they're actually in right now. So the very first question that I want you to sit with, like really sit with, and not just like skim past this.

06:10And I wouldn't skim past any one of these questions. I'm going to lean in here and I'm going to challenge you guys a little bit. Is what has stopped you before? And not like, not the surface level answer, my friends. I'm leaning into because I love you. And I've heard and had many of these conversations before. So I can only anticipate what I know you're probably going to say. Which is not the, I got busy, or life got in the way. Like, yes, those are real. That is, that is, that is a part of your reality that is real.

06:43But they're not the whole story. Like, I want to get underneath that answer. Because here's what I do now. The thing that stopped you last time is almost certainly still present in your life right now. It did not disappear between then and now. And if you start something new without acknowledging it directly, it's going to stop you again. It will stop you again. And it will do that every single time until it's addressed head on. So, what I've seen throughout the years, I want to name some of the real ones.

07:19The beneath the surface answers. And I want you to notice which of one of these, or maybe two of these, or maybe all of them. Which one of these hits for you? The first thing that I see is perfectionism. You start strong. And then you have one bad day. And instead of course correcting, you decide the whole thing is ruined. It's that all or nothing mindset. That all or nothing pattern. And then Monday resets. And then the inability to accept a 70% week as a win.

07:52Like, it looks at it, you look at it as like, oh, well, I didn't, it didn't, that's not enough. And it's not perfect. And you can't accept that as you were prior to the week before where you may have only been 30%. 70% is actually a big win. But it's hard for you to accept that. If perfectionism has stopped you before, it will stop you again. Unless you build a deliberate plan for imperfection before you need it.

08:22So you can't walk into another program having this all or nothing mindset because it's just going to eat you up again. But if you walk into a new program being like, I'm good with a 70% week. And I'm good with understanding not every single week is going to be perfect. But if I allow compounding over time and consistency majority of the time, then that's a W. That's a different mindset. Or what I've seen before is an unsustainable starting pace.

08:55So you come in just, people come in way too hard. Seven days a week, completely overhauled your diet overnight. I think about the New Year's resolutioners in this one. They change a hundred things at once. You try to do everything at once. It worked for two weeks, three weeks. And then bam, life happened. And then there was no middle gear in between. Again, all kind of all or nothing. And if that's your pattern, you come in hot. You change up a hundred things at once. Your next program needs to start slower.

09:26Not because you can't handle the intensity, but because sustainability long term beats being impressive every single time. So that is you. You come in hot. You change a hundred things at once and you burn out. Then you need to start with just focusing on one thing going into your next plan. Another one that I see is external validation and having a dependency on it. You were doing great until nobody noticed. Until the compliments stopped or they never even came.

09:58Until the scale didn't move the way that you expected to. Nobody could see what you were doing. And without that external feedback, the internal motivation then stopped. It kind of just like withered up. If this is you, and it is for majority of women that will actually honestly admit it, you need to build internal metrics before you start. Meaning you are giving yourself self-validation. Internal validation. That you see the hard work that you are putting in on a daily basis and that is enough.

10:33And that doesn't depend on what anybody else is seeing or saying. Another one that I would say is life genuinely got in the way and overwhelmed the plan. Like work blew up. A relationship got hard. Someone got sick in your family and they needed you. And the program was the last, was the thing that had like the least immediate consequence if you just gave it up. So you dropped it. If that is your pattern, and again this is, you know, this is most if it's, if you're being honest.

11:03Then your program needs a minimum viable version built in from day one of you. Because life will always get hard. But the program needs to be able to still survive. That, regardless of work getting in the way or relationship getting hard, like, kind of goes back into the all or nothing. If you have work blow up one week, it doesn't mean the next week that you don't try to do anything. You, you still are able to get back to it.

11:34So that is you, you go into it knowing like, okay, life is overwhelming already to begin with. It's, I'm in a constant season of busy. So I'm just going to give it what I can give it as a minimum viable version that is my best self right now. And that may just look like getting 10k steps in and not even working out yet. That may just be focusing on nutrition. It's kind of a mix of the first two. It may just looking at one thing and changing that one thing and that one thing only. That's a minimal viable version. And look, that could be the entire podcast right there, you guys.

12:06Some of you guys are like, dang, I'm one, two, or all of those. And you can walk away knowing how you need to go into a new thing or restart something that you may have just kind of pushed aside because of one of those things. So I hope that that helped you. That was only question number one. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone who could benefit from it.

12:36Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. So question number two. And this one sounds simple, but almost nobody answers it honestly. What does your real life actually look like right now? Not like your ideal life. Not like what you're going to be looking like in a bikini, 10 pounds lighter, abs toned. Not the life you're like planning to have once things stop being busy and they settle down.

13:08Like the actual one. The actual one's happening right now, this week, this month, this day, this minute. How many hours realistically do you have for training? Not the hours that you wish you had. Not the hours that you're signing up for this next program and only has five days a week and you're like, dang, I'm going to have to figure something out to get five days a week. Dude, you don't need five days a week. Right? Like where are the hours that actually exist in your schedule without completely dismantling everything else? What does your weekday eating environment actually look like?

13:40Are you cooking at home every night? Are you eating on the go three days a week? What does that look like? Are you traveling for work? Are you feeding a family with different needs in yours? Like there's so many questions that, you know, this is what we do inside of VIP on your onboarding. The coach is going to get to know you and meet you where you're at and develop a plan for you. We get to know like what is your stress load right now? Like honestly, is this a season of high demand or are you just like relatively stable right now?

14:12Because those two seasons require completely different approaches to a nutrition training program. What's your sleep like? What's your recovery like? What's your energy baseline? I want you to be able to answer those questions about the life that you actually have right now. The life that you're going to have once you get organized or once the kids' schedules change or once life calms down right now. And this is why it matters so much. A program that is designed for someone with two hours a day, a fully stocked kitchen, low stress, eight hours of sleep will not work for someone with 45 minutes, a chaotic week, highly stressed out, and six hours of broken sleep.

14:50Even if both women want the same results, even if both women are equally committed, the program has got to fit your life. Not somebody else's, not the imaginary one you have, the real one. And the thing is, a well-designed approach can absolutely work with a real, messy, imperfect life. But only if it was built for that life from the beginning. So you got to be brutally honest with yourself from the start about your real life and then ask, is this program actually designed for the life I have?

15:27Majority, 95% of programs out there are made for the masses. Dive into an app. I could tell you 100 different people that are following that app probably not consistently doing it. Because it's unrealistic to their life. You need a program that is actually designed for you specifically. That's what we do at Warrior Babe VIP. So check it out. Warriorbabe.com. Click to apply. Chat with the team. So that's question number two.

15:58Question number three is, and this one I feel like maybe might be the most uncomfortable, but one that also matters pretty highly compared to the other two as well. What are you actually willing to do? Not what you're capable of. Not what you think you should be willing to do. Oh, if it's going to, I have to do that to get to my goal, then I should do that. What are you actually genuinely, honestly willing to do? Consistently. Four months. Not just in a motivated week.

16:28Because capability and your willingness are not the same thing. And sustained results that are there for the long term require willingness. Not just your capability. Are you willing to track your food every day? Including the weekends. Including social events. Including the days when it's inconvenient. Or are you willing to track most days and give yourself flexibility on the edges? Are you willing to hit your protein target? Even when it requires planning and preparation? Or are you willing to prioritize protein at meals but not stress over exact gram targets?

17:04What are you actually willing to do? And be honest. Are you willing to strength train three days a week regardless of motivation? Or are you willing to commit to two days as non-negotiable and let the third be flexible? Be honest. Don't just sign up for a program that says it's five days a week and try to jam it into your schedule. If it doesn't work for you, it's not going to be something you stick to.

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18:13Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. But the gap between what you say you're willing to do in a motivated moment and what you're actually willing to do consistently in a real reality life week,

18:47that gap is where the program goes to die. I want to think about it honestly. Because a program built around what you're actually willing to do, even if it's less than what you think you should do, will always outperform a program built around what sounds right, but you'll abandon it in week three. Done consistently beats perfect every single time. And the way you build consistency is by committing to something you can actually keep up with.

19:17Not something that just impresses you, that you see online, and then other people are doing. No. So just ask yourself honestly, what am I willing to do? And then build from that truth. Now, don't say I'm only willing to, I'm not willing to track my macros and I'm not willing. Then you don't have the willingness to change. Something has to change from where you are right now. And it has to be in alignment with what's going to get you to your goal.

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20:49And if you get a post-purchase survey, let them know that you heard about it here on The WarriorBabe Show. Go check out these products. I promise you. Game changer. All right, let's get back to the episode. And then this is the last one I feel like is arguably, all of them are very important to take a real honest look at. But this one might be the most overlooked one of them all. And I think it's because we assume that we already know the answer to it. What does success actually look like for you?

21:21When I ask that to women what success looks like, specifically, measurably, in their own words, the answer is almost never as clear as they thought it was. I get all the time and I've heard it all the time. I want to look toned. Okay, cool. But what does that actually specifically mean to you? What will be different about how you feel in your body when you are toned? How you move, how you dress, how you see yourself.

21:54Or another one that I get. I just want to lose weight. How much? What will be different about your life when you get there? Really different, not just like aesthetically different. What do you think will be different? Who do you think will be positive and impacted? Do you see your husband playing a role in this? Your partner playing a role? Your kids playing a role? Like what does success actually look like for you? Or I also get another one that I like. I want to feel better. That's the most common one that I get but is also the vaguest.

22:26Better how? What does that mean? Less pain, more energy, more confidence, less anxiety around food, less anxiety around your body image. What does that mean? Better how? Now, all of what I said. I want to look toned. I want to lose weight. I want to feel better. Valid goals. They're real valid goals, but they require different strategies and different measures of progress. Getting clear on this matters because if you don't know what success looks like,

22:59you will never feel successful. Even when you're making real progress, life-changing progress because your brain has no clear target to measure against and what will default to naturally. Oh, well, I'm just not there yet. And that will be indefinitely what your brain sees. I'm just not there yet. Okay. You look, you're 30 pounds different. Oh, but you didn't define clearly how much and by when or how much and what's your life,

23:29not by when, but how much and what's your life going to look like when you get to 30 pounds? Oh, I'm just, you just lose the 30 pounds, but you didn't get clear on what does your life look like? Like, what's really different about it? And then it just becomes, well, I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. I got more to do. That's what a lot of women say. And then there's, yeah, can I just go a little bit deeper with you guys? There's another piece that goes, you know, just a tad bit deeper. It's beyond the physical goal. Why do you want this?

24:00Every single warrior babe in our VIP gets asked, why do you want this? Not the surface answer either. I want the real one. What will be different about how you show up in your life when you feel strong and fueled and confident in your body? What doors does that open for you? What conversation becomes easier for you to have? Because now you're walking with a bit more confidence in yourself.

24:33Or you now know what it feels like to consistently show up to something. So what opportunities now are at hand? Well, fear starts to quiet down. No longer, you're eating 2,000 calories. You were only eating 1,200 calories before, but you didn't gain any weight. You actually lost weight. So do you have fear on food anymore? Getting to that answer, like the real why underneath the goal. Like I want to feel better. I want to get toned. I want to lose weight. Again, those are surface level goals. Great goals, valid goals.

25:04But what is beneath that? Why? Because that surface level motivation is always going to run out. The deeper why is what's going to keep you moving after that motivation dies. I think I jumped ahead of question. I only did four questions and I said the last one was five. So this one is actually question number five that I have for you. And this is one that ties everything together. And it's also one that I feel like nobody really asks themselves before they start.

25:37Not what do I need to do, but who do you need to become to get to that goal? Who do I need to become? Because the results that you're after belong to a version of you that lives and moves and makes decisions differently than the current version that you are living and existing in right now. That you, that future you, that version of you has different habits, has a different relationship with food, has a different default on a hard day.

26:08You're not just going to give up. You're going to maybe persevere or look at things a little bit differently. A different tolerance for discomfort. That you is completely different. Very different. And I'll remind you, I'm sitting on that side right now. I want every woman to be on that side. But I am drastically different than where I was 11 years ago when I first started my fitness journey. I eat twice as much. I have different habits. My body looks different. I have a different relationship with food. I don't look as food as scary anymore. Or I'm going to get fat from it if I eat it.

26:40I persevere. I have resilience. I have discipline. I look, I'm drastically different. And getting from where you are to where you, to where what's required of you, it requires a genuine shift in like how you show up and a genuine shift in your identity. And how you see yourself and how you expect yourself to show up. So before you start something, ask yourself, what does the version of me who achieves this actually look like in her daily life? How does she handle a stressful week?

27:11What does she do when she doesn't feel like she wants to show up? How does she talk to herself about her body? What does she believe about what she's actually capable of? Because those are going to be drastically different answers coming from that you than where you are right now. But the most important thing is when you have those answers and you can see that vision of you and you're answering those questions, then you have to start acting like her. Not after you get the results. Now. Before the results even give you any type of permission.

27:42Because typically identity shifts, they don't follow results. It precedes them, right? You take the actions. You don't have an identity shift and then you take the action. Usually you have to take the actions and then you're on the other side of it and you're like, oh wow, I'm doing things differently than I used to. The women who get the results, they're after the ones who decided that they would become something different.

28:16They are after deciding that they would become something different first. And then they let the results show up as confirmation of who they already chose to be, right? Does that make sense? So like, you're not here saying today, on day two, I am making an identity shift. No, it's a byproduct of the choices that you make on an everyday basis. So that could have been a little bit confusing. I also can see that as like if you make the decision right now that you're going to show up as that individual,

28:50then you're also deciding to become her right now. And that could be challenging in a day-to-day basis because you're still fighting again. You're in this reality that you are right now. But if you can spend maybe like five to ten minutes in a day, usually what I've said is like visualization or just like sitting down like daydreaming while you're watching TV or something like that and just envisioning the person that you want to become, then start showing up as her today. And then as you continue to do that, the results are going to start to show.

29:23And then it's confirmation of you choosing to become that future you now. Hopefully I tied that back together for you. It's available to you right now at the end of the day. Before the first workout, before the first tracked meal, like before anything external change is happening, you can make the decision to be that person that you want to be. Okay? So with those five questions, I want you just to like answer them honestly before you're starting something new.

29:54What has actually stopped you before? Like not the surface level answer, like the real answer. What does your life actually look like right now? Not the one that's the ideal version, like the actual one that can sustain you right now that's going to just help you take the next action daily to get you to that ideal version. But you got to be realistic about it right now. And then what are you genuinely willing to do and do it consistently? Now it sounds good, but you're actually going to keep up with and show up to.

30:24And then the fourth one is where I got the two mixed up is what does success actually look like for you? Like specifically, measurably. And then why does that matter? Getting to your why. Understanding what your unique why is. And then the last one is who do you need to become in order to get there? And are you willing to start becoming her now? And I know these questions are not easy. And they're not designed to be easy. They're designed to give you something that most programs never do. An honest starting point.

30:56A clear-eyed, real version of yourself walking into something new rather than the motivated, aspirational version who disappears when real life shows up. That's probably been you and other programs. And it's not the program. It's taking a real look at you and your life right now. And if the program is actually feasible for you. You've started things before. You know what it feels like when it works. And you know what it feels like when it falls apart. The difference is almost never the program though. It's the foundation underneath of it.

31:27It's you. Build that foundation first. Have that conversation with yourself first. And then go find that program that fits that honest answer. And for some of you guys, I've heard this from thousands of warrior babes. It is warrior babe. So maybe if you haven't yet checked us out in full detail more or had a call with one of our team members and you're curious about it, then I would encourage you to just have that conversation. That could be the very first step to becoming the person that you need to become.

31:58And that could be the very first time you have these maybe honest answers developed within your conversation with a team member. And then you'll find out if this is the right fit for you. So I encourage you to go to warriorbeef.com, check out VIP, and apply for it. If this episode helped you, I just also ask that you share it with someone who may be looking to start something new, but you know that they've done something new over and over and over again. And so maybe she needs to hear this and it might be the most useful thing that she does before she even starts something new

32:29so she can actually sustain it. And I hope this episode served you guys and helped you guys. I love you guys and I'll see you in the next one. Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference, helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey.

33:00Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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