The Truth About Goals No One Talks About

00:00Many women believe once I hit this goal, I'm going to be happy. And this is where goals can actually completely restrict your happiness. And this was me early on in my journey as well. I remember that I was like, okay, I'm going to do bodybuilding. And like once I get to this goal, I'm like, I'm going to feel comfortable and confident. I'm going to be on fire. My body happened for a day and I gained 25 pounds back in one month. What happens here is you live in a delay. I'll be proud later. I'll be confident later. I'll feel good later. What's going on, everyone?

00:35Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkie Stott. And on these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. Today's episode is episode number 343. And I want to take you guys down a thought track in terms of changing the narrative of focusing on an end goal.

01:05And more importantly, switching the gears and trying to focus on the systems that's going to get you to that end goal. So absolutely, this is like one of my favorite topics to talk about. I believe this is also one of the first like episodes released on this podcast platform. It's inspired by the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It's so good. And I hope by the end of this episode, you guys feel more empowered on the way that you're going to tackle your fitness journey and transformation.

01:38Because how you use this, how you approach this topic, it can not only change like how you look at your body and look at the results, but also your entire life. So he talks about in the book, he talks about how goals are about the results that you want. And the systems are about the processes that are going to get you there. And if you think about it, in the fitness industry, most women like we're so obsessed with getting to the end result.

02:09We want to lose the weight, we want to how we're always asked, how long is it going to take me to get me there? You know, I have a wedding or summer's coming up, will I be able to be 10 pounds lighter by then? Right? So we're all obsessed with that end result. But very few people sit down and actually like, build out what that process needs to look like in order to get to that end result. So let's start with something that might, you know, I'm going to lean in on this episode with you guys.

02:41And I lean in with giving you guys tough love. Think about it like this. He says this in the book, winners and losers have the same goals. The woman who gets in shape, and the woman who quits in four weeks, they wanted the same thing starting out. The woman who transforms her body, and then the woman who just restarts every single January, they have the same goal. They want to accomplish the same goal. They want to either lose weight, they want to build muscle, they want to feel confident, they want to improve their hormones, they want to fix their metabolism, they want to fit their clothes, they want to look good in a bikini, whatever.

03:16Everybody wants that, right? So if the goal is the same, why do some get there and others don't? It's not desire. It's not access to information. It's not motivation. It is the system. The women who win, they commit to the system, even when it's boring, even when the scale doesn't move, even when life is chaotic, even when they don't feel like it.

03:48The women who struggle, they only commit emotionally. They go all in when they feel inspired. They start this new program, and they're so motivated. They're like, I cannot wait. I'm going hard. I'm in my week two, and I'm still going. But they're, they out of the gate, commit emotionally. And when they don't feel inspired, when they don't feel motivated, when life gets hard at week five or week six, the system collapses. Okay, so let's make it a little bit more practical.

04:19I want you guys to think about it like this. The system looks like hitting your protein daily. That's the system. Getting your protein macro hit daily. The system is scheduling your lifts and getting them done. The system is grocery shopping intentionally. It's planning and packing your meals. It's drinking your water. It's setting an alarm at night at 830 to start getting ready for bed so you're in bed by nine, you're getting enough sleep. This is the system. It's getting enough steps. It's following through Monday through Sunday, not just Monday through Friday.

04:51That's a system. A goal is I want to lose 20 pounds. But a goal without the system is just wishful thinking, guys. Maybe think about it like this. Uncomfortable translation most people avoid is that when you say I don't have time, what you're often saying is I don't have a, I don't have the priority. I'm not making this a priority. And I've said this before because you, we all, the same A person that goes after and commits and same B person that goes after and commits emotionally.

05:24The ones that have the same goal, we all have the same 24 hours. The difference is the structure. Winners structure their life around what matters in alignment with the goal they're getting to. Others structure around what's convenient. Can I get my workout in? Am I able to get my workout in? Oh, like, it's only convenient on these days that I meal prep and like maybe I'll just meal prep for half of the week. You can even hear the difference in my tone when I say those things, right?

05:55So the goal isn't the separating factor here. It's the system. The wildest thing about this is we can't control the goal. But you can control the systems. The systems are controllable. The goal is very distant. The systems are something that you do on a daily basis. That are going to help you to get to that goal. Okay? So again, reminder. Like, this one thing that he starts mentioning. I think he breaks it down to four. That's probably what I'm going to end up doing in this episode. But the first one is winners and losers have the same goals.

06:28But the women who commit to the actual system of things, which is following the plan, doing the protein daily, focusing on their macros, assessing their nutrition, scheduling their lifts, grocery shopping, meal planning, drinking, water, the basics. Right? Right? The ones that commit to that, they're the ones that win. But the ones who commit emotionally, which is probably, if I had to guess, 80% of the population, 85% of the population. Maybe even if I want to, like, stress it a little bit too much and lean in harder and give you guys some tough love.

06:59They say that there's 99% of the population. The one that can make it happen is 1%. So, you know, take it how you want to. But if you feel me leaning into this and it's like, yes, it's me. Then, hey, it's controllable. We can control these things. You can control the systems. Okay? So, systems are important. The second thing he talks about in the book, part two, is achieving a goal. Achieving a goal is like a moment.

07:30It's not a transformation. So, let me unpack that a little bit more. Achieving a goal is a moment. Changing your system is a lifestyle. So, what most women do is they're unhappy with their body. They find something online. There's this program. They get fired up. They jump into the program. It's probably, you know, a quick fix. I'm just going to use that because the majority of women, you know, dive into. Because they want to get 20 pounds less in three months. They want to get summer ready. Whatever.

08:00They get fired up. The plan tells them to restrict. The plan that you're pushing. It's all or nothing. They drop the weight. They hit the goal. And then what? What does... We've all been there. I know I'm talking to the woman that has gained loss, gained loss multiple times, right? When you dive into a program and you focus on just getting to the goal, the goal is just the moment. And then when this happens typically is when it's over and you hit the goal, a lot of women go back to normal.

08:31And normal recreates the old body. And that's because the system never changed. The in-between. You got to the goal, but you did it in a quick, fast... And some people aren't really even paying attention to like what they're doing and why they're doing it. Or sometimes it's not even sustainable because we're restricting so much. But what didn't change is the system is you go back to then doing what you're doing before, which is the old systems. So the system's never changed.

09:04If you still fear carbs, if you still under-eat protein, if you still skip workouts when you're stressed, if you still sleep, eat five hours, if you emotionally eat every weekend, then you didn't transform. You temporarily alter the outcome. And this is why yo-yo dieting is so common. It goes into six weeks of intensity, whatever program you're dumping into. Some results, you stop, you regain, and you repeat. You solve the outcome, but you never solve the behaviors and the patterns and the habits

09:34along the way. Your body isn't the problem here. I just want to like pinpoint that. Like a lot of people get frustrated as to why they can't lose the weight and keep it off. Or they think that they're stuck this way and it's them and it's their body. It is the behaviors that are built that are the problem. When you solve these problems at a results level, at an outcome level, at a goal level, you only are going to solve them temporarily.

10:06When you solve them at a systems level, at a behavior level, at a habit level, you solve them sustainably. And that's the difference between a before and after photo. That's an identity level change, which I've talked about many times in these episodes. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling

10:38stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show. For that second point is your goal, the achieving a goal and getting into a program and focusing on an outcome is only the moment. It's not what helps you to change the system, which is going to be sustainable for your lifestyle that they have that behavior, the habits, the system that gets you to that goal. Those things need to change. When you solve that at a systems level, you solve it sustainably.

11:12Okay, let's dive into a little bit deeper. He goes into a little bit deeper with this point three. Many women believe once I hit this goal, I'm going to be happy. And this is where goals can actually completely restrict your happiness. And this was me early on in my journey as well. I remember that I was like, okay, I'm going to do bodybuilding. And like once I get to this goal, I'm like, I'm going to feel comfortable and confident. I'm going to be on fire. My body happened for a day. And I gained 25 pounds back in one month, right? So once I hit this goal, I'll be happy type of mentality.

11:44We've all been there. Some of you are there right now. You're like, once I lose these 15 pounds, once I look good in these photos, once I fit my old jeans, once my stomach is flatter. And so what happens here is you live in a delay. I'll be proud later. I'll be confident later. I'll feel good later. But the trap is if your happiness depends on a future result, you are constantly behind because life isn't linear. There's going to be plateaus. There's going to be up and downs.

12:14There's going to be stress. There's going to be travel. There's going to be the times when life gets busy. There's going to be hormonal fluctuations. There's going to be weeks where progress feels like it's invisible. If your emotional stability depends on the scale, you will feel unstable throughout your entire journey. But when you fall in love with this system, when you get satisfaction from hitting your protein goal in a day or showing up to your workout or executing your plan or drinking your water or refining your habits or focusing on the narrative that you have in your mind

12:45around food or going to bed early or setting that alarm, right? But these systems, you fall in love with the journey. That's what it means. You fall in love with the journey. When you do that, you win daily. You don't need the finish line to feel proud. You just need to feel aligned today that you know that the actions that you're taking, the steps that you're taking are aligned with that future goal. They're aligned with it. You don't need to be obsessed with it. You don't need to be goal-oriented all the time.

13:16You need to focus on the systems the majority of the time. Goals, you know, goals to lay your happiness into the future. Systems allow you to be happy in the present. Okay, and the last thing I want to talk about is I see this constantly within our worry baby community, within the Facebooks. By the way, if you guys aren't yet a part of it, we have a free Facebook community. So you can just join our ecosystem. We're actually kicking off a challenge on March 9th.

13:47It's a consistency challenge. We're carrying it through the rest of March. And there's a really cool prize that you guys could win at the end if you stay consistent. And we have these trackers and these points you accrue. So yeah, check it out. It's if you go to warrior babe or you go to Facebook and type in warrior babe community. It's a black banner. Join. Come on in. We'll even link it in the description below. Okay, so this first point. So I see constantly when goals are handled incorrectly, they are going to create a yo-yo effect.

14:23What I mean by that is think about think about a race. You know, someone signs up for a marathon. They train for months. They wake up early. They follow a program. They push through discomfort. The race day comes and they cross the finish line. There's a medal. There's a picture. There's accomplishments. There's people screaming. So excited. You know, you won. You did the thing. And then your training stops because the goal is gone. And the urgency disappears. The structure dissolves. The accountability isn't there. And this is exactly what happens. I kind of talked on 1.2 in six-week programs, eight-week challenges, like summer shreds, like

14:58holiday slim downs, like there's hype, there's urgency, there's a finish line, there's pressure, there's accountability, there's a group of community showing up and doing the same thing. But when the finish line disappears and the goal is gone, so does your behavior. And when your identity is I'm trying to lose 15 pounds, what happens when you lose it? There's no longer a target. And a lot of people stall at this point. They're like, what do I do now? And then the behaviors that got you there are loose in. But if your identity becomes, I'm a woman who strength trains.

15:31I'm a woman who fuels intentionally. I eat. I focus on getting enough of my macros on a daily basis. I focus on getting enough protein. I'm a woman who focuses on progress and tracks and refines. There is no finish line. There's only refinement. It's part of the journey. It's long-term thinking. Like true long-term thinking is almost goalless thinking. Not because goals are bad. I'm not saying goals are bad. But I think we just need to stop attaching our minds on the goals and miss the opportunity

16:03of learning the systems in the middle. Right? The goal stops being the point. The systems become the point. The standards become the point. The identity becomes the point. It's not about like you taking one transformation photo or you finishing one marathon race. It's about becoming the woman who doesn't restart every January. Restart after every program. Like you, this is how you become, you build a sustainable lifestyle is these systems I'm talking about. So I want to leave you guys with like a thought-provoking question and just sit with it.

16:40Where are you still thinking like a sprinter in your fitness journey? Where are you chasing intensity instead of building structure? Or where are you chasing the goal instead of building the system? Because sprinters are going to burn bright. But builders build foundations. Right? Like sprinters constantly need something and motivation and emotional attachment and excitement.

17:13And they like, they need that, that emotional pull to do something. Builders, the ones that build the systems, rely on the systems. Please just take my life for an example. I don't, I don't jump into these quick fixes or fast track diets or like a day before. But I, but the last 10 to 11 years, I built systems that I just rely on on a daily basis. Because sprinters are going to crash and burn out.

17:45Builders, what I do, I, I am, what I put on my story last week, it was like the compound effect is undefeated with me. It was a selfie inside the gym. So if you zoom out like 12 months, like are you strength training consistently? And you say you do that. Say you strength training consistently. Say you hate your protein most days. Say you're adjusted. You know, you adjusted to the lifestyle instead of giving up. You didn't quit. You stayed instead of restarting. Dude, you won't even recognize yourself.

18:17And it's because you built consistency and not because like you had hype and you had so much excitement. It's like, you know, you were just consistent. You were consistent even on hard days. You still showed up. And maybe we didn't show up on a hard day and it's okay. You're not going to lose your progress. So if you take anything from today, stop chasing finish lines. Stop being so goal oriented and just trying to detach yourself away from it. Stop waiting for the motivation. Stop looking for the next reset. Stop trying, you know, tying so much weight to an outcome.

18:48The purpose of goal setting and setting a goal is to win the game. But I want you guys to think of it like building instead building and focusing on systems is keeping you playing the game. And the women who play the long term game, they're not sprinting towards a result. They're building the systems and the standards that they refuse to break. Or they're even if they fall off track, they are able to get right back on to the to the system.

19:19And that's where the real transformation happens. And that's how you become like the woman who's never going to have to start over and over and over again. All right. So I hope this episode encouraged you guys. I hope you guys found some motivation in this. I hope you feel empowered to look at your fitness journey just a little bit differently now by focusing on how can I be 1% better in the systems that I build daily instead of just being so tied to I need to lose 15 pounds. Just start challenging yourself to think about a little bit differently.

19:50All right, my friends. I love you all. And I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it. And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.