Transform Your Thinking w/ Melissa Ambrosini

00:00So back in 2010, I hit rock bottom and I ended up in hospital. You know, I was dealing with anxiety and depression and eating disorder and all sorts of things. So up until then, I was a professional dancer. I danced at the Moulin Rouge in Paris and I absolutely loved it. And then I hit rock bottom in 2010, burnt myself out, completely burnt myself out. And it was there in the hospital bed. And I realized something quite powerful and that was that I got myself in that position

00:30and I was the only person that could get myself out. All right, you guys, what's up, everybody? So this episode is going to be a little different and so very necessary because today we're talking about inner work and that's the stuff that doesn't really show up in progress photos, but it changes everything. And I've got the one and only Melissa Ambrosini.

01:04Ambrosini, that's it. There we go. Ambrosini with me. She's the bestselling author. She's a top rated podcast host, speaker. And honestly, what I've seen with her work is one of the most heart centered, fierce woman that I've had the honor of like being able to go and deep dive in your social media and learn from. And she's all about helping women go from like burnout and self-doubt to deep inner peace, self-love and full body alignment. Her work has helped many people slow down, including myself.

01:37I've dove into so much of your Instagram reels and so much of the content that you're putting out there and learn how to create like more inner freedom. And I know that this is going to hit home for so many of you guys listening to this episode. So Melissa, welcome to The WarriorBabe Show. I'm beyond excited to have this conversation with you. Thank you so much, beautiful. I'm so excited to be here as well. Awesome. And she's all the way over in Australia, you guys. So cool. You can hear her accent all throughout this episode. But Melissa, so the women in our War Babe community, they are badass.

02:12They're like high achievers. They're moms. They're business owners. They're leaders. They have their own responsibilities on a day-to-day basis. And they're finally putting themselves first through fitness. But what's like rising to the surface for many of them isn't just like their macros or their workouts. It's their mindset. Like a lot of them have these negative self-narratives going on, self-talk. They're all about perfectionism. They have guilt for taking up space. They even fear like becoming their most powerful self.

02:46And they're craving more emotional freedom. They're craving clarity. They're craving that self-confidence. And I'd love for you to help guide us there. And that's what I hope to do with many of the questions I have. I have buckets for you. So like I want to dive into like the inner voice. I want to dive into the hustle culture and like the emotional well-being in the go-go world. And then I want to dive into like personal power and then like how to integrate it all together. Yeah. So everybody has that voice inside their head that I call your inner mean girl.

03:17Yeah. People call it the ego or whatever you want to call it. Everybody has that voice. And that's that voice of doubt. That is that voice of fear. That is that egoic voice. You're not good enough. You're not smart enough. Who do you think you are? You'll never lose the weight. You'll never meet the guy, et cetera. So we all have that voice. And the thing is, is like why we are here on earth is to remember the truth of who we are, which is unconditional love.

03:48And all of these stories, all of these negative narratives, everything else is just layers that have been piled on from experiences, from past lives, from our childhood, that we need to peel back to bring to the surface the light of who we are, the truth of who we are. So that is the journey that we're all on, is to evolve and to grow and to remember the truth of who we are.

04:20Is it always rainbows and butterflies? No, it's not always rainbows and butterflies. Some of us have come here to learn stronger lessons than others. But the reason we are here is to evolve our consciousness, to evolve our soul. And if we don't, we will, I believe we will come back in another lifetime and we'll have to learn all the same lessons again. So we may as well learn them in this lifetime. Yes, I resonate with that so much. I love that you call it the mean girl, the inner mean girl and mastering that, which is so relatable.

04:55What would you say would be like the first step for women who constantly feel like their own worst critic? Yeah, so I have got a four-step process. It's called the cast process. And this is to cast aside your inner critic so your true light can shine out. So the first step is you need to create a little character for that inner voice. So if you close your eyes and you think about that negative voice inside your head that says all of those things to you, what does she look like?

05:25What's her name? What is she wearing? Create a character for her. That helps you disassociate it from the truth of who you are, which, like I said before, is love. So that's the first step in the cast process. Create a character. The next one is awareness. The A stands for awareness. You have to become aware of when she is talking and when it's your intuition, when it's your truth. Yeah? They feel very different. And people will say, well, Melissa, how do I know when it's my inner mingle? And how do I know when it's my truth?

05:58One will make you feel expansive and one will make you contract. So you can get into the senses in your body. One feels good and one doesn't necessarily feel good. And so you have to become aware of what your inner mean girl says to you or your inner bad boy, whatever you want to call it. And write it down. Write all the things down that she or he says to you.

06:28So that's the second step. Then the third one, S, stands for shut. You have to shut the door on those thoughts. So instead of opening the door to them and allowing them to come in, you know, infiltrate every area of your life, you shut the door and you say, no, thank you. I'm not interested in that story or that narrative anymore. And then the T in the cast process stands for truth. You have to come back to the truth of who you are, which is love and light. You are a magical, incredible being here on this earth.

07:02At this time, you have wisdom to share. You have gold within you to share. And you have to remember that. And remember that our role here on earth is to evolve and grow. So you come back to your truth. So that's the cast process. And you literally take yourself through that any times you're out the day when your inner mean girl is telling you that, you know, you're not good enough or whatever it is that she says to you. So would that be the same way that you would like recommend someone to start building a relationship with their true voice?

07:35Like not one that's rooted in fear, but one that's rooted in one that empowers us? Yes, definitely. So knowing that you have two separate voices is really powerful because then the more you can kind of like determine which is which, the stronger that intuition and that truth will become. And you'll be able to hear it so much more clearly because it kind of whispers to you where your inner mean girl screams at you, where the intuition and your truth, it was like it's really soft and like it whispers.

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09:18I haven't heard the way that you've broken it down to the two voices, the one that yells and the one that whispers and the way that you're explaining it. So I think that's really powerful and really helpful. What would you recommend for women who, you know, our community is women like that are 45 through 65 years old and they're having a hard, they're being hard on themselves about food. They're being hard on themselves about their body. They're being hard on themselves about their progress and not happening enough. They're defining themselves to the number on the scale. What would you say to someone to help them like shift that narrative?

09:51I've been in that place and it's not fun. It's not fun. And I think the first thing we need to do is remember that this beautiful temple that we have been gifted for this lifetime is something that we truly need to be grateful for. And berating it and berating it and comparing it and saying it's not good enough is quite an insult to God, the creator, whatever you believe in.

10:25Like we are here for a reason and we've been gifted this earth suit. So we need to start to shift our mindset around that and be grateful for this earth suit we've been given. Does that mean you stop working out? No, but it's the place that you work out from. Are you working out from love or fear? Are you working out because you love your body so much and it's so good for your mental health and you love the feeling and it's fun and you put on good music and you're doing it.

11:01Do you do your squats and you feel the burn and you're like, yes. Or are you working out because you hate something about yourself? So you have two choices. Are you eating and working out from a place of fear or are you eating and working out from a place of love? I love that. That's so powerful. I would just rewind that, you guys, because if you are using the narrative of, oh, I'm hating something about myself. And as Melissa's sharing, rewrite that narrative.

11:33Bring awareness to it and show up from the space of, I get to work out. I don't have to work out. I get to work out for my body to make it healthier and stronger and better. Before I go into this next bucket with you, Melissa, I want to dive into first sharing with the listeners. Your career spans from books. It spans to top rated podcasts, to coaching, to entrepreneurship, like all of the things. We want to know a little bit about you. How did this journey begin for you? What led you to doing this work that you're doing today?

12:05Mm-hmm. So back in 2010, I hit rock bottom and I ended up in hospital with a whole host of health issues. So physical health issues, but also, you know, I was dealing with anxiety and depression and eating disorder and all sorts of things. So physical health issues and also mental health issues. And up until then, I was a professional dancer. I danced at the Moulin Rouge in Paris. I lived in London for two years and worked there. So I did dancing and acting and TV presenting and I absolutely loved it.

12:40And then I hit rock bottom in 2010, burnt myself out, completely burnt myself out, was not looking after myself nutritionally, like was just eating junk food, was partying, was not sleeping, all the things and completely just burnt myself out. And it was there in the hospital bed. I was in hospital for a week on morphine, on all sorts of drugs. And I realized something quite powerful.

13:10And that was that I got myself in that position and I was the only person that could get myself out. Wow. And I had this voice that was my intuition say to me, if you get happy and healthy again, you'll live an amazing life. And I thought, surely I was in such a dark place. Like, surely God didn't put us here to suffer. Like, surely that's not the reason for human evolution, like humans being here. And it was like, no, that is not the reason we're here to grow and evolve.

13:42And I just went on this complete health, spirituality, internal journey from there. I went and studied holistic nutrition and health coaching and life coaching and energy healing. And I did my yoga teacher training and I did meditation teacher training. I just became obsessed with personal development. I did not grow up in a home where we were listening to Tony Robbins. Like, that wasn't my journey. Um, I found it here and, and became obsessed with it and entrepreneurship at the same time.

14:21And so I started a blog and I started health coaching people, um, once I got my qualification. And then that kind of turned into life coaching. Um, after I did that certification, um, wrote, you know, I've written four bestselling books and I started my podcast, the Melissa Ambrosini show. Um, and then naturally it turned into a business and mindset coaching because people were like, how have you been able to build this business that you've created for yourself? Um, so it's kind of just snowballed over there. It's been 15 years, um, since I hit rock bottom and, uh, 14 years since I started my business.

15:00And I've just kept on putting one foot in front of the other. And the, what I know for sure is the more internal work I do on myself, the better every area of my life becomes. My business, my relationships, my, my parenting, everything. So I am a student for life. I am deeply committed to my own internal work. And whenever I have stopped working on myself, that's when I struggle.

15:32That's when the inner mean girl gets really loud. Um, so I know the importance of this inner healing, this, this continuous inward journey that never ends. Um, and that's not something to kind of go, Oh, pull me at never ends. It's like, that's why we're here. Evolution. That's why we're here. You turn pain into purpose is what I'm hearing from that story, which is so beautiful.

16:03And now you get to share it with so many people, which is even more incredible. It's God's work right there. So I want to dive into the next bucket with you, which is like hustle culture. It is like the thing nowadays. It's like, get up, grind, do the work. Some of those attributes are attributes are good. Characteristics are good that people develop from that. But so many people are just in go mode. Like our community, a lot of women are in go mode. I just spent, uh, three days and four nights in total darkness on a retreat.

16:33Yeah. It was really epic on the point of just wanting to evolve and getting to hear that voice a little bit better and truer and just stillness like nothing. Like I can't, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. How many days did you do this? Three days and four nights. I've, I've heard of these darkness retreats and you get to eat. Yeah. Yeah. They give you food at the end of the night for the next day through like a double sided door. And they just like hand it to you. It's pretty cool. It was pretty epic.

17:04Tell me about that. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to turn the podcast on me, but it was to the, to the points and the things that you are sharing and your message getting out there, it is getting to be with yourself and getting to hear like everything is quiet. The, so the silence is so deafening. Like it's, it's just you, your thoughts and whatever comes up. And if you're willing and honest, being able to meet where you're at and to, and taking it, taking it, uh, as it comes and being able to shift it with love and not judgment.

17:38Um, so there was a lot that happened in the three days and four nights, but it was pretty epic. But for me, it's like, like, go, go, go mode. Like that was, I just wanted to slow down. Like I wanted to slow down. I wanted to be able to do something that I've never done before and be able to evolve. Just like what you're saying, we're here to get to know ourselves way more, do the inner work and all the things. And I think that that's totally relatable to, um, a lot of people as I want to bring this back to the question that I have for you. Like people are always doing people, always achieving people are always hustling and they're

18:11always trying to check off the box, but slowing down. Like for me in that moment, like there were a lot of emotions that came up that I was unsafe in trying to slow down. And I'm curious, like from your perspective, why is that? Like, why do people have a hard time? When I was in there, I was telling them I was bored. I felt, I was like, I felt like I had to do something. And they were like, well, what about if boredom had a voice? And I was like, well, it would just tell me that it's okay to be bored.

18:42Why in so many of those instances, like with women wanting to slow down, but feel unsafe, like why is that? Why do we experience those emotions or feelings? Well, firstly, we glorify busy. We glorify achievement. We glorify, you know, social media is the highlight reel where we're glory. We glorify how much money you're making and how successful you are. It's very unhealthy. It's really unhealthy.

19:12So we have to remember, and I talk about this in my next book, my third book, Comparisonitis. How to compare yourself to others and be genuinely happy. Because we compare ourselves on social media to the highlight reel. And it's not a fair comparison. And it's ridiculous, but we do it. And so we have to become aware that we are doing that and when we're doing that. Because it's not healthy to compare ourselves to other people and how much we're making and

19:46how successful we are. It's just incredibly unhealthy for us. So if you know what your triggers are, like if you know that social media is a trigger for you, then like you've got to limit your time on there. You've got to do whatever you can do to really help yourself. And then also look at the story that you're telling yourself. Because there's a story in there that says, I'm not successful if I don't hustle.

20:19I'm not successful if I don't earn X amount. So where is that story coming from? You go within. Okay, when I was six, I heard my mother say this to my father about money or about. So you go back and you can heal that within yourself. And maybe you need to do like a little bit of inner child healing work. Or reparenting and reprogramming. But you have to go back to where that story was first planted within you and heal it and

20:55transform it. Otherwise, it will just keep playing out in your life. Yes. I love that you just said that. I did a whole episode on the darkness retreat on the podcast. Oh, I'm going to listen to it. Please do. It's really, it's a 45 minute. Like I just let all out was really vulnerable in it. Um, but I love that you said that because in my experience, like I had to go back to, like, I kept being met by my little like seven year old in that experience. I had to keep going back and keep healing her in the moment while I was there. So that's so true because the stories that we carry through our lives start at a very young

21:29age and we have to be able to go back and like do the work, do the inner work to recognize where it's coming from and not meet it with like, I'm going to judge this right now, meet it with more curiosity and be able to listen to it. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

22:01I'm curious from your perspective, like when we're in seasons of growth, right? When we're growing, we're evolving. We're basically shedding these old layers of ourselves or these old narratives. And we're trying to create new ones that support like where we're going, like the expansiveness of ourselves. How do you teach or do this for yourself personally to create emotional space to protect your energy as you continue to grow? Does that make sense?

22:32Not a hundred percent clear, but I did want to just say we're always in seasons of growth. We're always growing, always growing. It's like a plant. If it's not growing, it's dying. So love that. But so maybe I can bring into an example, like when women want to say that they're in a friend group that is really used to them drinking alcohol and going out and then all of a sudden they join a program and you're like, well, I'm not going to drink here while we're at

23:06this girl's trip. And you're trying to protect your emotional space while you're on this new journey. And it could be different in each light of what we're talking about, fitness, inner work, all the things. How in that moment, like you're going to get like, you're going to get people being like, why are you doing this? Oh, that's, you know, how do you protect that energy? Okay, good question. I love, I love this scenario because so many people have been in this sort of situation and whether it's alcohol or gossip, you know, whatever it is.

23:37So this is what you do. Okay. So for example, if I was going to go on that trip and I knew they were all going to be drinking and I didn't want to do that, I would share that before I went. I would jump on the phone individually with every single one of those people and I would practice what I call CCC, crystal clear communication. That is communicating from your heart. I talk about this in Open Wide, which is my second book.

24:07And I would say, I would get on the phone and I would say, hey, I want to share something really important to me with you. Do you have time? Yes, I have time. I've been dealing with X, Y, and Z. And something that I'd really like to work on is not drinking as much alcohol because it makes me feel X, Y, and Z. I'm doing this program to better myself and there's fitness and nutrition. And one of the things that we have to do for a certain amount of time is not drink alcohol

24:41because I know for me, it really makes me depressed. It makes me feel depressed. It makes me feel anxious. So I'm going to be doing this for three months. And that means that when we go on this trip, I'm not going to be drinking. And I would love so much your support. And that person will either say absolutely and cheer you on, or they will get triggered with their own stuff. And then you get to decide if you want to continue that relationship with that person.

25:15Do you want to continue the relationship with the person who is not supportive of you or your biggest cheerleader? And this isn't about dumping friends. This isn't about being rude. This is simply about redirecting your energy. So I would redirect my energy that I usually spend on that person to someone else. Someone else who is supportive of me, who is cheering me on. And that is how I would handle that situation.

25:47But it comes back to crystal clear communication. And I know that when you go to evolve yourself, relationships will fall away. That is life. And our humanness wants to hold on with white knuckle grip and try and control. Why isn't this working? Why don't you like me? Why don't you want to still be my friend? But remind yourself that people come and go.

26:18There's seasons. There's reasons. There's lifetimes. Lifetime friendships. And sometimes people are just, you know, one of the seasons or the reasons. But you bless them. You love them. You thank them. And you just go and redirect your energy somewhere else. Yeah. Somewhere that is supportive, that does feel aligned. And then if it comes to things like gossiping or judging or blaming, you know, those things, which are very toxic, highly toxic things to do that you do not want to engage in.

26:52There's two things you can do. You remove yourself from the situation. So if someone's gossiping, you're just like, I'm just going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute. And you just go to the bathroom. So you remove yourself or you say, hey, that person's not here. And this doesn't actually feel good. Do you mind if we stop talking about this? So you just do that really politely or you can change the subject. And I talk about this in the book. But, you know, one of the most powerful things to do is to say, hey, that this doesn't, this conversation doesn't feel good.

27:23That person's not here. Do you mind if we stop? You know, it's just, or I'm going to go and have a little walk or something like you can then remove yourself. Like that is the most courageous and brave thing to do. Heck yeah. Because, you know, those traits of gossiping and judging and blaming, they're highly toxic. And we do not want to engage in those. Yeah. It's almost like even just saying, hey, I feel uncomfortable talking about this right now.

27:54Like, can we change the subject? Yeah. So my husband and I, like, we'll say to each other, like, even if it's like a little backhand comment, like he'll say, that didn't add value to the world, darling. And I'm like, you're right. That negative comment that I just made did not add any value to the world. It actually took from the universe. It took light. It didn't add light. So that's how I like to think it is like, is every, is my, are my words and are my thoughts

28:27adding light to the world or are they taking? Yeah. We want to, we want to be adding light. We want to be adding, not taking. Yeah. I feel that. I feel that deep. I love that. That's a great perspective to look at. It's like, am I adding value in the situation that I'm in right now? Am I taking away from the value of the world? That's beautiful. So I want to talk about, like you mentioned, um, working on your inner work, right? Constant thing, always, always evolving. It's never ending and it won't stop till the day we die.

29:01So what are some like simple, but powerful daily practices that you do or that you teach, um, that can help like regulate. Cause you mentioned like the inner child, right? Like our nervous system. Sometimes you have to go back. Maybe you're in a situation that heightens an emotion, heightens anger, heightens, um, being uncomfortable, heighten sadness, heightens, uh, feeling rejected, heightens, um, abandonment. Like what are some simple, but daily practices that you can do on a regular basis that will

29:36help to regulate your nervous system? There's so many that you can do. I want everyone to write these down. Yeah. So one of the most powerful things you can do is use your breath, come back to your breath. So breathe in for five, hold for five and breathe out for five. So a simple box breath will bring you back into parasympathetic very quickly. You can do this anywhere, anytime.

30:06So that's one, um, meditation, super powerful. Again, can calm your nervous system, regulate your nervous system, bring you back into your body. Um, that's another one, having a conversation with your inner child. So when you open, before you even open your eyes in the morning, place your hands on your heart. What do you need, darling? Go and see your little girl or your little boy. What do you need today? What do you need?

30:37I need a little bit of time for me. I want to, I want to journal. I want to do a workout. I'd love a dive in the ocean. I'd love five minutes of just breathing in the sun, you know, ask your inner child what she needs. It might be random. It might be like, I need to dance. It might be, I need to write a letter to so-and-so and not send it, but I need to do that. So ask that.

31:08They're like my favorite things. Gratitude. Again, what are you grateful for? What are you grateful for? Make a list of what you're grateful for. That's another thing that you can do, but they're probably my favorite and none of them take long. All of them are free anytime, anywhere, one minute, one hour. It's up to you. So again, it's finding your breath, meditation, and then the morning, just asking what your

31:38little girl or little boy needs that day. And then gratitude. So like writing down what you're grateful for. That will instantly shift your mood, the biochemistry in your body. Yeah. So you have so many books. You have Mastering Your Mean Girl. You have Open Wide. You have Purposeful. You have, and then you're working on comparisonitis. This is how you've got it. So yeah, my first book was Mastering Your Mean Girl, how to be wildly wealthy, fabulously

32:13healthy, and bursting with love. Then the second was Open Wide, a radically real guide to deep love, rocking relationships, and soulful sex. So Mastering Your Mean Girl is all about yourself. Mastering Your Inner Voice. Open Wide is all about your relationships, how to have beautiful relationships. Then there's Purposeful, which is an audible book. It's an audible original. That's all about how to find your purpose. And then we've got comparisonitis, how to stop comparing yourself to others and be genuinely happy. And then I co-wrote my latest book with my husband, Time Magic, Reclaim Your Time, Reclaim

32:48Your Life. I'm just looking over here because I've got all of my books there. So that book is about reclaiming your time, reclaiming your life. It's about doing work that you love and living a purposeful and beautiful life. Powerhouse with all those books. Love that. I'm definitely going to have the links. Are there specific ways people can find all of your books? Anywhere online or any bookshop you can get them from, but we can pop the links in the show notes. Yeah, for sure. So I want to talk about your personal power and your self-worth.

33:22You're such a huge advocate for women standing in their power. What does that actually look like on like a day-to-day basis? And like a real life. That's a really good question. So for me, it's putting myself first. It's very easy as a mother to not put yourself first. It's very easy to put your business first. It's very easy to put your children first. It's very easy to put your partner first. But being a self-led woman means putting yourself at the top of your to-do list, knowing that when

33:58you do, everything else is better. Your relationships with everyone in your life are better. And so this is where you do that check-in in the morning and you say, what do I need today? What do I need today to feel full so that I can put myself first, so that I can show up to my children and my work as the best version of myself? So you've got to ask that question and then take action and reorganize your priority list of like,

34:30yeah, for a lot of working mothers that I see, it's their children are the top of their priority list, which is beautiful. But you need to put yourself there. Yeah, there are definitely a lot of women are going to resonate with that. A lot of people coming into our community are saying like, this is a time that I need to put myself first. For so long, I've been putting my kids and my husband and my family first, and they're finally like stepping into reclaiming their power. But then like the mindset gets in the way, like they feel like, actually, this is a good next question I have for you. Like they feel like they're, they fear being like too much or like too loud.

35:04Like I'm too much if I do go take my workout or if I meal prep or just maybe like, you know, those, those words too much, too loud, not enough, all that. How do we, how do we unlearn that, that narrative in our brain? Well, I would go back to like, where did that story of like too muchness come from? Like where in, where, where, where, when you were six, did your, you know, someone tell you you were too loud or you were too much? Like I would go back there and do some healing work around that because that's really important

35:37that you do that inner work, but we are here to take up space. We are here to be the best, brightest, shiniest versions of ourselves and to do what feels true for us. So remember that and go back to when that story of you're too much came in and, and do some healing around that. Yeah. Love that. Um, there's, have you ever read the book worthy by Jamie Kern Lima?

36:12It's a great book. Not yet, but I definitely want to read it. It's so good. So I want to pick your brain on this one because in the book she shares like, um, the difference between self-confidence and self-worth that there's like two, there's a drastic difference. Self-confidence is like the characteristics that you build in life, the skills that you have, master entrepreneurship, leadership. Like those are skills that you acquire, um, that build your self-confidence working out, um, you know, leading with just like leading with, um, like even in your work, like you've

36:43acquired these skills, you've done this stuff, but self-worth goes more deeper into, um, like your value and being enough. And, um, like stepping into who you truly are. And I may be saying that or butchering it a little, a little, uh, a little different, but the book is so good. She explains it and breaks it down. How, how would you answer this? Like, how do you stay connected to your personal self-worth when you're going through like hard

37:15or messy seasons? Cause everyone experiences those things, right? Like someone could be changing a career. Someone could be changing their identity through fitness. Someone could be, um, learning their triggers about themselves and wanting to show up different. And it could be hard or messy for them to go about changing their identity that they once held behaviors and habits in to act differently. So how do you stay connected to yourself when you're going through messy? Maybe even if it's like with your, in a relationship or, you know, staying true to who you are, essentially.

37:51I think those practices that I said before, so the breath, the meditation, the checking in, um, and the gratitude, that is how we stay connected. We've, we've got to create silence and stillness for us to be able to hear the whispers of our truth. Yeah. So that is how we, we stay true is we've got to go within, we've got to get quiet and, and have a conversation.

38:24What do you need? What do you need right now? Just asking yourself that question each day before you get out of bed, what do I need today to make me feel full? Like, what do I need? I love that. That's everything. It's really important to check back in with yourself so that you can hear your voice and hear what's needed to help, help you to connect. Um, you mentioned like cast, you mentioned CCC, what are some other, uh, you know, those types of things that you have for yourself that maybe are in the books that you could share with the listeners here today?

39:00I think the very simple concept of, um, choosing love over fear. I talk about this in mastering your main girl in every moment. We have a choice of love or fear. So we can go to the fridge and we can choose something from a place of love. I love my body so much. I love nourishing my body. I'm going to make the most beautiful, healthy meal, or we go to the fridge from a place of fear. I, I want to eat this because of that reason, whatever it is.

39:30So how we eat the relationships we surround us with the conversations we have with ourself, the work that we do in the world, the way that we move our body, we're doing it from a place of love or place of fear. Yeah. So get honest with yourself. Like, am I doing work that I love or am I doing work just because, because I need the money? Am I moving my body from a place of love or am I moving it because I need to flog it?

40:01Cause I overate last night. Am I choosing this meal from a place of love and nourishment for my beautiful temple that I've been gifted? Or am I choosing this meal because I want to punish myself? You know, am I in this abusive relationship because I don't think I'm worthy? Or am I in this relationship because I love myself and this is what I deserve? You know, there's, we can literally apply the love or fear filter over everything.

40:39Yeah. Everything. Powerful. I love that. I'm going to take away that. That's, that was a, that was a powerful point there. Um, all right. Next, last, next and last bucket that I want to dive into is like integration. Like that was one of the hardest things that was for me coming out of three days and four nights of darkness and going back to society and trying to integrate everything that I had just experienced and then live in alignment. So how do you, how do we know if we're actually living like in alignment? Like what are signs that we're off course?

41:13Feeling. It's the feeling, you know, one. Like I said, the very start of this full circle, one makes you feel expansive and one makes you contract. So if you are living your life and you're like, this doesn't feel good. I feel contracted. I feel like I'm choking. I feel like I'm, I've got anxiety. I've got depression. Like that is the sign that we're not living in alignment. If you are living, if, if, if life is like, okay, this, this work feels really purposeful.

41:46This relationship feels really great. Then that is a sign that you're in alignment. So it comes back to the feeling. How does it feel in your body? Does it make you feel expansive or does it make you contract? I love that. Yeah. This next question might, might go back to the breath work into the meditation. I'm curious if there's a different alternative that you may have to share. What would you say to the woman that's like done the work physically, right? Like they've physically transformed their body.

42:18Like they've got the results they want, but they know deep down that they're not at peace emotionally. Well, that's where the inner work begins. Yeah. That's what, what, what, where we've got to start the, you know, we, that, that inner work, you can't get away from it. We can't, we can't sidestep it. It just does not happen. We have to do the inner work and it's a lifelong thing.

42:48And so whatever that looks like for you. But one of the most powerful thing is like inner child healing work. Also, there's also internal family systems, which is parts work where they talk about the different little parts within yourself. You know, there's the controlling part. There's the needy part. There's all these different little parts. And certain situations activate those parts.

43:19And when you can have the awareness and you do that work, you go, oh, my controller is that, that little part of the controller is being activated right now. What can I do to support that little part within me? You know, what can I do? What can I say? Can I reassure that little part that it's okay? It's okay. I don't need to control this situation. It's okay. Yeah. I'm going to be okay. Have a little conversation.

43:51Yeah. But the inner work, you cannot escape it. You just can't. Yeah. Good stuff. One last question. How do you, how can someone start tuning into that intuition? Like hearing that little whisper, hearing that little voice, when the one is, can be so powerful sometimes, like, especially if they've been disconnected from it for, from so, for so long. Yeah. Yeah. And, and the ego, the inner mingle is so loud. She is really loud. She kind of like tries to drown out that inner voice, your intuition, your truth, right?

44:22She'll, she'll want to speak over the top of it. So the only way to allow that voice to get louder, the intuition is to quieten down all the noise. So that's where like sitting, stillness, meditation, closing your eyes, getting quiet, going within and hearing what comes up. That is the only way. Because if you just go about your day-to-day life, the inner mingle is so much louder.

44:52Like it's just so loud that you cannot even hear your intuition. So you need to stop. You need to take a breath. You need to go within. What are you trying to say? What do you want to say? Yeah. So that's what we have to do each and every day. I love that. This has been a great, um, a great episode sharing like all this goodness. Melissa, is there anything that like, I didn't touch on today that you would want the listeners to hear from you? Just remember that you are worthy of all the love in the world, all the health, all the

45:23abundance. You are worthy of living a beautiful life. It doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be dark. We can live in flow and light. Um, we just have to remind ourself of that and remember that we are worthy of that. That's beautiful. This has been so good. Um, thank you from the bottom of my heart for pouring so much wisdom and heart into this conversation. I know that the woman listening to this, like maybe just took like a deep breath for the

45:56first time in a very, very long time because of what you said or what had maybe resonated with them and they needed to hear it and they weren't sure what to do or how the next path to take. And, um, so thank you for your time being here. And, uh, where can the listeners connect with you? Where can they dive into your podcast following on social media? I'll link your books below too as well, but go ahead and plug yourself. Thank you. Thank you so much. So my website is Melissa Ambrosini.com and you can find all of my meditations, my books,

46:29everything there. My podcast is called the Melissa Ambrosini show, wherever you listen to your podcasts. My Instagram is at Melissa Ambrosini. Come and tell me what you've got from this conversation. I would love to meet you, to connect with you, to hear, um, my program. She Launch helps females build their dream business. Um, so it's the best business training, I think, um, and mindset training that there is. Um, so yeah, we do business and mindset training there. If you want to build your business, launch your business or take your business to the

47:01next level, come and check out she launch.com. Um, and yeah, just come and say hello on Instagram. I would love, I'm on all the other socials as well, but you can get that on my website. Love that. Thank you. And to everyone tuning in guys, I hope this reminded you guys that, you know, strength isn't just physical. What Melissa shared here is that emotional strength, like inner work, inner calm, trusting yourself. That's the foundation of literally everything. So if you, this resonated with you, like tag me, tag Melissa, tell us your biggest takeaway. We would love to see that on social media.

47:32And, uh, thank you, Melissa, for being here and sharing all of your wisdom. Appreciate you. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review, share the podcast with someone who might need it and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

48:02Thank you.

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