Transformation Starts With Healing w/ Britley Williams

00:00If I hadn't been so chronically disconnected in an eating disorder at the depths of a low, I would never be able to experience the high that I'm on right now. What's up, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. Or if you are a new listener, welcome to the show. You guys are all in for a special treat today. We have another inspiring guest here with us, Brittley Williams. She is a breathwork facilitator and also a lifestyle coach.

00:36She helps her clients embark on a profound journey of self-discovery, transformation, embracing their inner strength, and stepping into a life of joy, purpose, and fulfillment through the therapy that she's going to talk about today. She is also the host of the Divine Your Life podcast. And overall, I'm just very, very, very excited to have her on the show to share her story, her insights, her teachings that can also relate to you guys on your fitness journey and just so many other amazing things.

01:12Like I watch you, Brittley, on social media, and you are just living what you are preaching. And I respect that so much. So welcome to the show, Brittley. Oh, thank you, babe. I feel like you just fanned my flame. I'm ready to go now. Like you speak better than I speak on me. I'm just going to have you do that for me. That's so good. I'm so happy to be here. So honored and excited for this conversation. Amazing. Yes, me too. Because like I said, man, you just live what you preach.

01:43And I respect that so much. So to help the listeners understand a little bit more about what you do, because, you know, no joke, just being vulnerable and honest, I had to Google what somatic therapy was just to be real raw and honest. I did at one point too. So let listeners know what this type of therapy is. Absolutely. I'll give a little bit of context if that's okay. I'm sure we'll dive more into my story. But somatic therapy, someone means of the body, right?

02:14So it goes beyond cognitive behavioral therapy, which is that traditional therapy, kind of cognitive ping pong back and forth, where we create this beautiful awareness of our past and our trauma and things that we've experienced and how they are tied to our reality today. And it takes it a step further into like this integration piece where we're actually connecting and creating head heart coherence, or that beautiful mind body connection. You work out junkies, you can make a mind muscle connection, right? How you've had to learn that behavior and that communication.

02:45We're doing that, but with the somatic body, right? The intuition, we're creating a bridge, we're creating a connection. So it does take it a step further. And the reason I wanted to get some context is because when I was in cognitive behavioral therapy, I had done so much work on reading, podcasts, research, that I kind of showed up to these sessions with a lot of awareness, which can turn to white noise, and we don't know what to do with it. And the somatic piece is turning down the white noise, dialing into the body, dialing into our unique frequency, regulating the nervous system.

03:19So we're operating and integrating from there so we can actually feel better rather than just think different. Does that make sense in a really? Oh my God, totally, 100%. Thank you for like breaking it down in that way. That's totally understandable. And I love that you said to the fitness junkies, the mind to muscle connection. I'm going to put a pin on that because I want to circle back to that, you know, analogy and have you elaborate on it a little bit more. But to speaking to your story, so what initially drew you to this type of therapy and self-discovery?

03:54And like, was there a specific pivotal moment in your life or experience that ignited this passion to go after learning more about this? Yeah, absolutely. So it was, I was 23. And who I was up until 23 was a really high achiever. I had a really high expectation for myself. And I wouldn't even say that my parents necessarily had high expectations of me or there was a condition in my household. It was more self-driven, self-put upon myself to really be the achiever.

04:27I made straight A's. I started real estate at 17 and did that for seven years alongside pharmaceutical for three years. So two full-time jobs. I was making six figures at 25. I had a house, a dog, a boyfriend, and everything that appeared to really be the American dream, right? Like if you look from the outside in, I was living it. I was getting accolades. I had definitely reached America's definition of success. I was also at the height of an eating disorder at that time.

04:57So I was chronically disconnected and stressed, as you can imagine, right? Two full-time careers and come to find out living in a life that was really inauthentic to me, but what I perceived to be good and successful and all of the things. In that, I remember the moment, actually, and I hope it's okay to just be vulnerable here, and I don't want to trigger anybody on here. This is my human experience. But it was in the bathroom of my parents' childhood home. We were going to my sister's high school graduation, and grandma had made cookies,

05:31and I had binged a little too much because grandma's cookies, you can't stop. And I had gone into the bathroom to purge, which was my eating disorder. And I remember one inch away on the other side of the bathroom door was my brother and sister laughing and giggling and having this fun time. Meanwhile, I'm one inch away of a wood doorframe, making myself throw up and just enveloped in shame and guilt and frustration and oddiness, morphia. And I stopped in that moment. I was like, oh my gosh, I've gotten so comfortable with this.

06:01That one inch away, my family doesn't even know. The internal toxicity and tension and pain and suffering going on in my body. Every time I speak on it, I can feel it. And it was in that moment when I looked at myself in the mirror like, we need help. This is not okay, right? We're dwindling. We're dwindling away, and it's not healthy anymore. And so it was in that moment I came out, and I knew if I didn't take action on it right there, I wouldn't. So I kind of disrupted the fun, and I gathered my family, and I said, we can come back to this,

06:32but I have to admit something to you. And I did. And that was really my big catalyst wake-up moment, you could say, is in that moment. I went on to do a lot of research on my end, a lot of podcasting, a lot of trying to figure out how to heal my own eating disorder. I finally took the steps to get that cognitive therapist. And when I showed up to the appointment, I said, hi, my name's Brittley. I have an avoidant attachment. I have an eating disorder, likely because I'm chronically disconnected, and my dad's an agape. I just had all this awareness, right? And she kind of stopped in her tracks and was like, whoa.

07:05I was like, so now what? And she's like, well, I'll see you next week because I don't know. It was just a lot. And I remember getting off that call thinking, what happened, right? She's supposed to fix me. What happened? And I think in that moment, I was like, there's got to be something more because I have the awareness. I have the mapping from the eating disorder to the need for validation outside of myself, but I just can't seem to get the body on board. That's when I started to do further research. I found somatic therapy. Breathwork specifically was the first modality that I used in my healing.

07:37And it was like, everything happened at quantum speed. All of a sudden, this body that I was so disconnected from and didn't really love to sit with, right? It's really hard to sit with the body when you're really uncomfortable in the body. I just moved through it so quickly and I really found that connection in breathwork. And so that was what brought me to the recovery that I am in today and to want to just like spread this word like as much as possible and step into the passion of leading women home to their body, to their power source, to that inner connection with it.

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09:15I didn't like selfishly, like I didn't know all of this about you. That's why I love podcasting and like bringing you on. And like we've talked numerous times. It's on your podcast. Like I didn't know this story of yours. And to hear that, I'm just like sitting like, whoa. Like, and it's so cool that you do have this experience. You have moments to talk to. You have all the pain, the things that you went through that will be able to resonate with the women that are in the same boat that you want to. You know how to. You know how to.

09:45You have the principles and the practice that you have done for yourself that have worked that you can share with other women. And that is so freaking powerful. So to those things that you just said, right, that was how you found this practice, your personal experience, your story. As you've personally evolved with this practice and with the principles you've put into your life. How have you done that? Like, how have you continued from that point on with what you've learned and the research you've done? Like, how have you evolved?

10:18Yeah. Ooh, how much time we got? Just kidding. I'm like, we'll be here for a while. So I went from cognitive behavioral therapy and I found a somatic container, right? And it was actually a group container. So talk about just throwing yourself into the fire. Not only do I not know what the heck somatic even means, am I not sure if I'm an advocate for breath work and tapping and booing and breath work and all these things. But now I'm in a group atmosphere where we're all showing up vulnerably sharing our story, right? So I was like, okay, here we go. And, you know, I really went in with the intention to find fulfillment.

10:50I felt really guilty for not feeling fulfilled with the relationship in the house and the dog. I was like, what's wrong with me? Am I always going to have expectations that supersede my reality? Am I ever going to be comfortable and complacent? So I really went in to heal the relationship. But about halfway through, I had done so much work, again, in such a short amount of time. Because when you start to go past the analytical mind, which is where the limitations and stories live, and into the body, the wisdom, the intelligence within you moves quick. So about three months into the six-month container, I'm like, oh, my gosh, it has nothing to do with me.

11:22And it has something to do with me. But my frustration and angst has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the fact that I have created and built a life around a reality that is not mine. I have been climbing a ladder up against the wrong wall, right? So I'm like, oh, my gosh. So what do I do, right? Like, I'm in this relationship. I have all these things. And I'm like, I never even stopped to ask if I wanted these things. I just took off in the direction that I thought I was supposed to run. I chased the money. I got the money. I wanted the relationship. Got the relationship. Dying for a golden retriever puppy.

11:54Got her. But why did I even? I never stopped to ask myself why or if it was true, if it was mine. I just checked the boxes as I went. And about three months in, I had this big awakening. I actually had a breathwork experience. And it doesn't all happen for this. I don't want to scare people, right? You don't always strip your life away. For me, I had to because I had built it on false narratives. But I came to this conclusion of like, this does not be a reality that I want for myself. And I don't know what is. But in order to find it, I know that I have to discern what's not. So I left the relationship, quit the six-figure job, bought a Subaru, packed it full, and headed

12:27to Denver, Colorado, of all places. I knew nobody. And everyone thought I was absolutely nuts. And my mom was waiting for the U-turn. And people were waiting for the shoe to drop. And in a way, I kind of was too. I was like, this could not go as good as I think it's going to go, right? Like, what's going to happen? Sure enough, went to Denver. It was completely liberated. I was like, if this is my new reality and I get to create it how I want to, how do I want to create it? And I became a student of this work. I joke that I retired because I really did. For two years, I just used savings to just dive deep into healing.

13:02And I learned so much. And the tools that you asked that I've used, there's a plethora, right? But just breathing, taking a moment to pause and reflection of like, what do I want and why? I started to get really curious about the narratives that I was telling myself. I was really curious about the money stories. It doesn't grow on trees. It's hard to get. You have to hustle. You have to work hard. You have to own a business that has to look like this. I just started to question and disrupt everything. I was like, everything's up for question right now.

13:32Nothing is true. And when you do this, you start to really discern like, oh my gosh, I think I operate this way because mom operated this way and grandma operated this way and great grandma operated this way. Is this even me? Right? Talk about overwhelm. And here we are, babe. And I think in the most humble way, it's so funny. I moved back to Austin, which is where I'm from, right? Went off to Denver for two years, came back. Every single person I interacted with, every single one of them, the second that I came into their energy said, you are different.

14:04On like a very, very different, like cellular level. I don't recognize you. How did you do this? Is this real? Like knock, knock. Who's in there? And it was like, yeah, this is so real. Holy cow. I know. It's crazy. And I can just attest just as much, like going from scattered, disconnected, over committing, stressed on my body, maybe a six pack, but super unhappy in how I got it. Not by any means healthy, right? So like this life in my eyes, this like sense of peace and presence and being able to like

14:35show up on this podcast with you, baby girl. I'll be nowhere else, but like here with you and your listeners, not even thinking about anything else is, is something that a muscle that I had to work over and over and over. And there's a lot of different modalities that came in, but really just giving myself the space to do so with the big star. That is so incredible, Brittany. And there's so much to unpack there too, as well, that I feel like the listener, I mean, like seriously though, like hats off to you with doing this work.

15:06Because from what you just shared and being able to recognize that you were living a life that you didn't really like attest to, like it, it, you, it wasn't in alignment with you entirely. And then to do the work to make a life that you're more aligned with, like a lot of people go throughout their whole lifespan, not even being able to do that or even become aware of that or recognize that they're doing that. So really commend you with that. That's huge.

15:36Thank you. And then, yeah. And then to unpack this a little bit more, you said like to move from the head to the body, right? You moved from the analytical mind more into the body and then you did the work from there. So like, because there's a lot of, to tie it to like the fitness world, there's a lot of people that we just had a conversation with our coaches today where there's now women taking action of leaving a relationship that they weren't happy with or leaving a job that they didn't feel validated with.

16:07They didn't feel that it was living in their true nature because they got in shape because they started showing up for themselves and eating right. So to marry those two together, moving from the head to the body and then doing the work for yourself in that respect with getting stuff in alignment, like what did you feel? Like, like what were like the feelings? Cause that's fucking hard to do. Like, first of all, all the things you did is also hard to do, but also you experienced the

16:37liberation of doing it once you moved to Colorado. What did you feel in that moment? And like, how did you work through those feelings? And then like, how did you feel comfortable and confident within yourself to know that you would experience, but not yet. You didn't experience it yet until you got to Colorado and then you experienced it. How did you trust yourself to take the action? I guess is what I'm really asking. Oh, babe. No, such a good question. And you said like confidence and comfort, right? But I think that we think that those things have to come before we can take a courageous act. It's backwards. So you have to be courageous and then you'll instill confidence and trust, right?

17:10Like you have to be courageous to sign up for warrior babe program and know that you have 30 pounds as your goal weight to lose. That's a courageous step. You don't have the confidence that you can do that yet. And you definitely don't have the comfort of the post 30 pound loss, right? So you have to take courage and then the confidence is built. The trust is instilled and all of a sudden you're in your best shape. And then what? You start to have this trust muscle with yourself. You start to show yourself what you're capable of. You see how badass you are. You see how good you can feel in your own skin.

17:41And then what? Everything looks a little bit different because what you settled for at one point now no longer fits and suits you because this higher version of you, you've proven to yourself, right? And the same goes for this work. Like if I asked you to meditate right now, you'd be like, oh, I can't do it, right? You don't know how many people are like, I can't meditate. No way. You don't know me. I have so much on my plate. I will make a grocery list. I will do everything but. And I'm like, of course you can't. You also can't run a mile if you've never ran a day in your life.

18:12There's a muscle. There's a process. There's a training. There's a time, energy. There's an energetic exchange that has to go into it. But when we do it and we start to build that muscle, just like anyone that we would take to the gym, you start to grow this conviction and confidence and clarity. You start to discern that you do have complete control over your reality. And that is the most powerful place that you could ever be in. And when we're operating from the neck up, a quick science lesson that's just fun. From the ages of zero to eight years old is where our subconscious is being built, right?

18:43If I tell you that this water bottle is a couch at six years old, you're like, a couch, but okay, okay, right? You're kind of like susceptible. You're vulnerable. You're open. You're malleable. But I tell you that that water bottle is a couch today or even at 10 years old, you're like, dude, come on. That's a water bottle. Get out of here, right? So just to give a silly example, we are building. We are sponges. We're taking in everyone's reality. And so our authority and our parents and the figures that brought us up, their beliefs are becoming instilled in us.

19:14And so if we're operating from our neck up in our day-to-day life, we're operating from the 95% subconscious that runs and rules it. And it becomes really automatic. And many of us have no idea what stories are being projected into our day-to-day reality. And until we make the unconscious conscious, it'll run our life and we'll call it fate. That's my favorite quote ever. And so when we're just moving from the head up, the neck up, we're in this analytical mind in the same space where our limiting beliefs occur. Our doubts occur. Our negative cyclical thoughts occur. So if we don't bring it into the body and create new vulnerability and new space to

19:47integrate and implement new narratives, new stories, new beliefs, then we're just fighting up against our brains all the time. Does that make sense? You know what's crazy, Britley? Is like, you know, I've read about this stuff. I think I understand this stuff. But then you just explain it and I understand it at a completely different level. Like you just say that. I'm like, oh, that totally makes like that's the most it's ever made sense to me in this light with what you're saying. So thank you. I have to say this for my dad because I said this once in a podcast.

20:18And now every time I walk into the kitchen, he goes, how's your horse going? So let me give some context. I said this in a random podcast. I don't know why this analogy came to me. But it's like a white stallion picture, like a white muscly stallion running the beach, like beautiful white horse, the mane flowing in the wind. That's your 5% conscious. And then it's changed to 95 donkeys going the other way. That's your subconscious. And he, seriously, that's his reaction. He like listened to the podcast and stopped it and called me. He's like, how's your horse? I'm like, I don't know.

20:48I thought it was good at the time. He's like, I'm curious to know what drugs you're on when you come up with these. I can see it. I can see the donkeys like inhibiting my stallion. You know, I don't want that for others. I'm dead. That's hilarious because it's so true. You have that operating brain and then you have the land a little goal, the limiting beliefs, the false gods and stories that are holding you back.

21:19Okay. So we got women there, right? We got women there that have a lot of shit that they're still stuck on. Yeah. How do you tell, how do you break somebody from that? Yeah. How do we break those chains? You got time. Yeah. Well, let's start on you. No, I'm just kidding. That's for another day. That's such a good question. So like I said, we have to make the unconscious conscious, right? And how do we do that? We have to create awareness. I like to think of our thoughts as like fish in a fishbowl, but our consciousness as the

21:51water between, the space that holds, the space between the thoughts, right? If you add more fish to the fishbowl, what happens? The water starts to spew over. More fish equals less water, less consciousness. So we do have to start becoming aware of these cyclical thoughts that are repeating themselves in our mind. 95% of our thoughts are transferred from day to day. So they're the same repeated thoughts as yesterday. Wow. That's wild. Just with a different tune. Isn't that insane? Like you're thinking the same freaking thing every day. So if we don't start to become aware of our thoughts and create the space to see what we're

22:23feeding our fishbowl, what we're feeding our mind, our thoughts, our body, which is directly creating our reality. And that's just truth, right? This isn't like I'm not spewing stuff. This is truth. Our thoughts create our perceived reality and everyone has their own. So if that's true, we've got to start to get clear about the thoughts, right? So we do start in the brain. We have to. We have to start with like, okay, let's debrief. Let's create a mind map of what's going on in this brain. What are the thoughts that I'm adopting as truth? And what am I telling myself? And you would be amazed at what people are telling themselves that they don't even know that they're telling themselves.

22:54For a long time, my story was, I don't know. I'm unclear. I don't know. I just don't know. What do you want to eat today? I don't know. I don't know. What do you do for work? I don't really know right now. I don't. It was like, hi, my name's Britley. And I don't know. It was like I was wearing it around, right? And what was happening, I was becoming more and more confused around everything. I didn't trust myself to make the simplest decisions. I would be like, what is the word? Paralyzed on a Sunday between the 9 a.m. or 11 a.m. church service because I just had told myself so many times that I was unclear. I was muddled.

23:25I was a mess. I was all these things. And I was creating this reality that reflected that. And I had one friend say, the next time you say, I don't know, you owe me like 20 bucks. I was like, oh, my God, I'd be broken a day. That's a great point. But I'm not signing that contract, right? And I had to start thinking of like, oh, my gosh, I say the words I don't know a lot. And the truth is, is that I do know. And you do know. In every decision, in every thought, there is a congruent yes or no. And if you took the time to get still and feel into it, you would also know.

23:58And you would build that intuitive muscle. So just an example of we have to start to become aware of what we're telling ourselves, what we're feeding our minds, therefore our bodies, right? And then from there, we have to start to create the consciousness. So how do we create more water, more space between thoughts so that we're not reactive to all these thoughts, but we can start to observe them? Because do you want to react on the thought that your partner sucks the life out of you? And then you react, knee-jerk reaction, and you go and rip their head off, right? You want some space between the thoughts and your reaction to it.

24:29Because then you become the active operator of your system again. And these thoughts don't run and roll you, and you're just reacting all day. But now you're rolling and running your thoughts, which is a totally different life. Right. That's like Eckhart Tolle, who says, become an observer of your thoughts. Yes. Yes. It's so true. Because if you can observe what the thoughts are saying, everything that you're saying right now, you can choose how to respond to it. And it's in the response of how you're running your life, right? Like how you're making the decisions every single day.

25:02From what I've said, that's such a terrible way to explain it. But you can definitely explain it better. Oh, you nailed it. Okay. You nailed it. You're a professional in this space, not me. But trust me, I can't tell you how to get a six-pack. That's for you to tell me. So when we get off, we'll exchange services. Beautiful. Okay, done. But, you know, another tool that I love to give is like I separate, and this is practice, but I separate my human self. And people think this is funny, but this is probably the most amazing tool that I could

25:34give to you on this podcast today. I start to separate my human self, like my 3D flesh, right? Because I know that I am an extension of God and I'm one consciousness. I'm unconditional love. I'm infinite power. I'm abundance. I'm a daughter of a king. But my flesh forgets all the time. And she's this 3D, you know, anxious little spout running around from time to time. So when I actually start to create this space, I call her my person. And I'll say that and I feel sensations of anxiety or stress. It doesn't really happen too much anymore, but I do.

26:04I feel them come on. All of a sudden, I'm like, oh, my person's stressed. Okay. And I start to create space. And I witness her. And I'm like, what is she stressed about? Oh, she's worried about finances. Okay. Why is she worried about finances? Oh, because she feels safe and secure when she has. And that's okay. So she, like, you're actually starting to be like, like a little kid, like the younger version of you. Like, oh, she's worried. She's stressed. Okay. What does she need? How can I meet her? How can I remind her we're safe? Like, you're this higher authority because it's true. And you are coddling and loving and serving the need of the inner part of you that is just

26:37like living in the human experience. And I know that can sound kind of deep, but that creates that separation, right? That's that consciousness. Yeah. You just gave me chills. And it's almost like when you, when you're aware of that flesh, it's like speaking it, speaking to it and talking to it in like a comforting, like, I see you, I got you manner, right? Like, not trying to beat it up. Yeah. Yeah.

27:09Hey, shake it out. We're so good. We're so critical on ourselves, right? We're like, gosh, why did you have that thought? Gosh, I knew you couldn't do it. Gosh, da, da, da. I said, would you speak to the younger version of you that way? That baby version of you that doesn't know better. She's just moving about life. She's trying her best. She's trying to show up. We've got to start loving ourselves. And when we can create that separation, I think it changes the narrative and the dynamic and the dialogue just enough to be like, okay, what does she need? Like, how can I love on her? That's so powerful.

27:40And when it goes into like the relation of like when women are trying to get results, it's like, well, why didn't I lose pounds this week? And they're like connected to like such an, the number doesn't really mean anything, right? Like it doesn't, if you step back and look at it, it's like, there's so many other things that come into the weight, the scale weight. And like, where, where, why are we so concerned about that? And kind of becoming aware of those thoughts and those patterns. And it's because mom grew up on a diet that wasn't supportive. And she was always concerned about her weight and telling her husband that she would, and then like, like perfect example, right?

28:12Like, and then trying to unpack that and bringing it to consciousness. And then, so when you, when there's like creating more space, right? Creating more of the consciousness, the water with the fishies. I love the analogy, by the way, that's literally how my brain works. Anything in analogies got me. Um, so when it's, when it's more, how do you, with, with, with breath. So how do you create more consciousness? How do you create more water? How do you use breath in that respect with people?

28:43Oh, such a good question. It's, it's important to remember that when we go into meditation or when we go into breath work, the aim is not to become thoughtless, right? Like we can't just fight off the thoughts and we get so frustrated when we're thinking. Just as the heart inevitably pumps blood throughout the body, the brain inevitably thinks. So let's just free ourselves of that. Okay. Cause it's a muscle and it's not meant to be perfect. Right. And consciousness can't come until you create the space for it. So just create the space for it. I have a client that literally came to me today and she's like, really?

29:13I had the worst meditation ever. I just sat down and I couldn't stop thinking. I'm like, that sounds like a very productive meditation. That sounds amazing. So you just realize how noisy the brain is. That sounds like a big epiphany to me. That's badass girl. Let's go. And so, and it's like the tale of two cookies, right? Let's like use this metaphor since my girl likes analytical or analogies. The tale of two cookies. We have a chocolate chip cookie. Okay. And we eat the chocolate chip cookie, but we eat it and we have guilt about it. And we're like, oh, it's so good.

29:44But like, I'm shameful that I'm doing this. This isn't my macro plan. I know that I'm not supposed to be doing this. This is so frustrating. Your body releases cortisol. Your digestive system shuts off because it literally thinks that it's getting eaten by a saber tooth tiger. And you're like insulin rises and you can't digest anything. And it's like this whole experience. And then you go on an eight mile run the next day for a 200 calorie cookie. And there's this whole story, right? Versus the same cookie. You and I are having a girl's night. We eat the cookie. It's delicious. Serotonin releases in the body.

30:15The body digests it just as it should. It's a good experience. It's delicious. And it goes, right? And so when we're looking at this, what's the data? The data is we ate a cookie. The drama is, oh my God, now I got to work it off. I suck. I hate who I am. I knew I couldn't do this. This is going to add five pounds to my body. And all this story that we've created around it, right? And so the same is true when we're coming into this work. What is the data? The data is I skipped out on a meal and I went against what I had committed to.

30:48That's the data. All right, cool. The drama is that I am unworthy, that I need to drop out, that I couldn't do this. So we've got to start to clear the stories that we've created around the things. We've got to dissipate some of these charges that we've put on ourselves. And just like in this practice of breathwork and meditation, it is not supposed to be perfect. If you've never breathed a day in your life and I ask you to come in and do some breathwork and you're like, damn, didn't nail it. Not my calling. It's like, well, what is then? We can't have that pressure on ourselves.

31:18The data is X. And then we add the drama. So we can start to differentiate between the two. Like what's the fact and what is the story that I've created around the fact? We can kind of see the thoughts versus the stream of consciousness, right? Holy moly. I love it. Yes. That is so freaking good. I remember when I did a, I'm going to definitely, you're coming into the community in what, like two weeks to do breathwork? Yes. I'm so excited.

31:50I remember my first, I had, I'd done breathwork before and my, is this normal? Like my lower legs went numb and I was obviously woke up bawling my eyes out. So like, why does that happen? What's on there? This is my favorite question. So let's go back to this analytical brain that we all live in, right? And if you could literally think of like an alpha wave is like a, like a really high intensity frequency wave that's going on.

32:21That's the state that we're living in when we're in that analytical brain. And don't get me wrong. This space is great for conversation, for work, for having connection with people. Like we need to be in this, in this analytical brain from time to time. One step down is the beta brain. And this is like when you come out of yoga and you're really zen or out of a massage and you have that sexy donut on your face. I don't know who I am. I don't even care. Like life is delicious and sexy and I'm zen, right? Like can't mess with me, peace, signs all around. And then a step further is theta.

32:53And that is like a really beautiful, subtle wave. It's almost a hypnotic state. And in that state, we become slightly suggestible, right? To the subconscious. So we were suggestible at zero to eight years old, but we can actually take ourselves to be there suggestible again. And this is why it's very important to have a really amazing and trained breathwork facilitator. Because if we're open and suggestible, we need to be really careful about the information that we are unloading and bringing up in that space, right? But when we take ourselves there to this beautiful theta state where we've turned off the analytical

33:24mind, we've turned off the emotional body, and we're completely open to the divinity and the intelligence and the power within. Well, what happens? The body's like, finally, you've given me some space to process the emotions I've been trying to have you process, right? Every time I've wanted to cry, but you shut me off because you said big girls don't cry or this isn't the time or space or pull it together. And I actually just wanted to process an emotion. Now it's my time, right? So it can be an emotional experience.

33:55And we can bring emotions to the surface. Because think about it. A toddler in Target wants the toy, doesn't get the toy. What does he do? He throws a little bit of a tantrum. Mom's like, no, stop. You're embarrassing me. So then he shoves it all down and he pulls it together. And he's like, well, I don't want to embarrass mom because I don't want a lapse connection. And I just wanted this toy. And all I know what to do is express an emotion that came in my body and process it. And had he just had the little tantrum, processed it, got it all out, he would have been good to go. But because mom came in and disrupted the process, added shame and guilt, now this little boy is

34:29like, I can't cry, right? Like, I don't want to embarrass mom. I don't want to be an embarrassment, right? Holy shit. And so it's like, oh. So as an adult, I go to cry. And I'm like, no, that's embarrassing. People don't like that. That makes others uncomfortable. That's like, right? So we have this narrative. Well, we put the narrative down for five seconds and we tune back into the innate human desire to process an emotion. It could come up, right? Wow. And that's beautiful because then you process the emotion. It doesn't live in the body.

34:59It liberates. And I have people say, really, I don't want to do breath break because I'm scared of what will come up. I'm like, baby girl, you're already holding it every single day. You're already the container for it. You might as well just experience it in 30 seconds. Let it liberate rather than carry it for the next 30 years, right? Like you are so much more powerful than you think and you're already holding it in the body. Wow. That's huge. So that means I had a lot of emotions to process. My body went numb and I was falling my eyes out when I woke up. And with the body part, so the emotions will first leave through the head or the limbs,

35:33right? The hands or the feet. So in their science to this too, I won't get too far into it. But on a spiritual level, when these emotions are leaving the body, because they are built up energies in the body, they do leave out the limbs. So your legs went numb to protect you so that that could leave and move and liberate itself. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. I mean, I'm getting chills. I cannot wait for you to come into the community and do breath work. I'm so excited. If you are listening to this, because it will go out before this VIPs. If you are listening, you have to be on the call on September 12th, because Britley is

36:06leading an entire breath work session. And that's going to be amazing. I cannot wait for that call. I'm so excited. I want to come in person too. I'm going to come fly to you one day. We'll do a whole in-person session. Oh, baby girl. We might need a couple hours. Don't tempt me with a good time. Oh, shit. Okay. So switching gears a little bit and pulling that pin that I put at the beginning of the podcast to the mind and body connection that you had subtly touched on in the opening.

36:37Many people, obviously, in the fitness space emphasize the importance of mind to body, you know, making sure your mind is connected to the muscle that you're working, if you want to build it, all these things. Can you explain how somatic therapy reinforces this relationship and how it can enhance? Like if somebody doesn't have the mind to body connection, how does that this therapy reinforce that connection, that relationship to where it can enhance somebody's journey?

37:08A hundred percent. And you know, it's so interesting. I just had this epiphany right now because I was going to say, well, it took me like three years to really develop the mind muscle connection, right? You can think you're doing kickbacks and kick your butt back and think you're working the booty. But then when you can get so isolate on which part of the glute muscle you're working. And I thought, you know, it's like everything else. It takes training. But I also have to look at the reflection of where I was in my life. Right. To be chronically disconnected from my body and now to be so in tune down to the cellular experience I'm having.

37:39Don't you think that that amplifies the experience that I'm having to my workouts, my mind muscle connection? So you kind of just put that together for me. But what I would say is I overrode my intuition for what? The first 25 years of my entire life. Like I had an intuitive pull not to do something and I shut her down and did it anyway. So I built a lapse of trust between me and myself and my ability to make decisions and know. When we're doing that with our bodies, when we are like, I'm going to go to the gym because it's on the schedule, even though I'm exhausted. I got zero sleep.

38:09I haven't nourished my body. But I'm going to override that in the name of working out or consistency or whatever I want to justify it as. What do you think is happening? We're losing a trust for ourselves, right? So as important as it is to have discipline, resiliency, consistency, it is equally important to know and to understand our bodies and their needs because we will just counteract them for the rest of our lives. And so when I came into this space, which now, Nikki, I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, the only decisions that I make are intuitive ones.

38:42If something feels often weird and bad, I just say no. Feeling is the final answer. Done. Boom. I don't even need a justification. I don't need an explanation. I don't need to tell the other person why. I don't even need to tell myself why. I'm so congruent with how I feel about something, whether it's an expansive yes or a collapsing no, that I make that decision from there. So think about when you build this muscle, all of a sudden you have so much discernment into how to train and fuel your body. Because you're like, am I reaching for this snack because I have a need that's not met,

39:14an emotional trigger that I don't know how to handle? Or am I hungry? You know, like we start to get curious about our actions towards everything and think about how much stronger the vessel of your body becomes when you actually listen to it and connect to it and in tune to it and you're showing it that you love it and care and that you're not going to override it and lapse that trust over and over. Dude, that's so powerful. I'm so happy you touched on that analogy with the food because I've said in recent and I've coached this to our women too as well.

39:46And on recent podcasts, I'm like, if you get yourself in the kitchen at night, you know, when you're Netflix and chilling, because you think that you're hungry, but really you're just bored. Take a second. Ask yourself those questions. Take a second to become aware of the next action that you could take. And is it really in alignment with like, are you hungry or are you just bored? Yeah. 100%. 100%. And I want to say that I don't get this perfect still all the time because I don't ever want to seem like I'm the head of preaching. Right? Like it's tricky. It's tricky to be like, where is this coming from? And is this just a habitual reach that I'm just doing for the sake of doing?

40:19Or is this like an intuitive need? And what do I actually need? Right? Right. Like, do I need the chocolate peanut butter or do I just want to feel that pleasure and comfort at the end of the night that I think it will bring me? And could I find a way to give myself pleasure and comfort outside of that experience? I love that. I love that. That's so good. So you touched earlier a little bit on like how you were like running at full speed, like you were overachiever. You're doing all these things. You accomplished all of these things.

40:51And I would say that you have an amazing, like you've built the inner strength for yourself with the things that you've gone through, the practices you've used and what you've evolved to with this therapy. So how would you guide someone? Like I think about me, right? I think about my past. I think about not having an easy upbringing. I think about the things that I had to use, gain, like understand how I could beat authority at a young age, how to be an adult at a young age. And I've used that to channel energy.

41:24Like I've used that stress and that trauma, I guess I would say from earlier life to build inner strength. So with somatic therapy, I guess the question I'm asking, like how do you guide individuals to channel that energy, right? To channel from that energy, from that stress, from that trauma to build inner strength, which could then translate to physical resilience, right? Like that's why I look for that for me, for my story. It's like, well, I somewhere, somehow must have integrated this.

41:55So how do you use that? How do you, how does someone use, or how do you guide individuals to use that and not necessarily like put it down, recognize it, and then be able to translate it into like being, being strong, having resilience. Am I answering that question? No, that was so beautiful. I'm just like listening, like dang, I think you almost just answered your own question, cutie. You're like, how do I take trauma and transmute it, translate it into treasury, into testimony,

42:26into a story, into strength, right? And we all have that ability, right? If I hadn't been so chronically disconnected in an eating disorder at the depths of a low, I would never be able to experience the high that I'm on right now, right? And we, there's 3,600 different emotional like combinations of emotions that we can feel. And we all toggle between like 20% of them, right? Like I'm fine. It's okay. We're great. I'm a little sad. I'm frustrated. I'm mad. I'm happy at it.

42:57But like there's a whole spectrum and you cannot feel the depths or joy and bliss and serenity until you have allowed yourself to process the hurt, the pain, the sorrow. That's just how it works. So like you start to allow yourself to go into the trauma just enough to experience and see it and liberate it. Then you can come out with resiliency and strength and potency. And that's your story. That's your truth. Like to give perspective, you know, I found so much security and money. I didn't even know who I would be without it. And I sought validation in my external body. So I didn't know who I was without my body.

43:28Who would I be if I didn't have the body that I was getting the attention from, right? And now it's like everything. I think the biggest lesson that I've ever learned and my mission and my mantra and my statement is I want to empower people to such a degree that they realize that there is nothing outside of themselves that will bring fulfillment. And you could hear that and you could get really stressed out or you could hear that and feel like a weight's just been dropped from your chest. There's nothing outside of yourself that's going to bring fulfillment. There's just not.

43:59I work with CEOs that had brought in 7 million this year. And I work with women just like you and me who are in their own experience, all of them chasing something. The 7 million has a sports car in the house on San Juanica and all the things. And he's like, I'm unfulfilled. What's going on? I thought I would for sure be happy at this point, right? Down to the woman who's paycheck to paycheck. He was like, I just want to find my soulmate. Then I found him. And now we have. So it's like nothing's going to do it. Or can I add something really quick there? Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt you, but to add to that, because the one thing that's just

44:31yelling in my brain is the woman that will lose 30 pounds and think she's going to feel happy and more happy in her body at that point. Yep. And I can attest I've been there. I mean, I had the six pack, right? So it's all that is a belief that A, love is conditional. So we have to do something in order to earn it, which is not true. Love is unconditional. It says that in the Bible, it says that everywhere. It's just the truth. Love in its purest form is completely unconditional. There's actually nothing you need to do to earn and receive it other than to feel it from

45:03within. So that's our first thing that we have to come to understand. And that's a process. I don't expect that to land in your body as truth right away, but just plant the seed. And then from there, it's like, so what are we actually looking for? Is it connection? Is it confidence? Is it, is it, what is it? Because I'll tell you this too. When I was at an empty space and I thought that my body was my everything and it was what made me successful, which is what would bring connection. It looked great. And I was miserable. Now I'm in fulfillment.

45:34I am like feeling God and the Holy Spirit moves through me daily. I'm in purpose. I'm in alignment. I'm tapped in, turned on. And my body's never looked better because it's like, it's this vessel that I don't like, hate and scorn anymore. I don't eat out of emotional triggers. I don't, right. It's like, I'm just in tune. I'm in flow. And like the body is beautiful all of a sudden. It's great. And I want to serve it. And I want to show up for it. And I want to work it and strengthen it. It's like that inner masculine within me. That's like, Ooh, I want the muscle and the tone. And I will make the investment happily to, to store this vessel of the body.

46:07But that is from a fulfilled place. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, hold on to unpack that a little bit, because you're, you're saying this in a way of like, you're living on purpose for yourself. So how, how the principles you've learned, right? You're living on purpose. How can that be incorporated into a fitness routine for yourself? Like what you're explaining to make it more meaningful for women to want to work out. Ooh, this is a good question. Right. Let's see what you're doing here. I'm like, now I have to think.

46:39Okay. What a good question. And like, let's just walk through this together. Right. Cause this is kind of your area of expertise. And my coaching is called fan into flame, because I believe it's second Timothy one, six. It says fan into flame, the gift of God, right? Which we're all given this purpose. God instills in us this beautiful flame. And it's our job to tend to and fan it into flames. And so when we're thinking about this, when we're thinking about igniting our purpose, living on purpose, living in our truth and our, in our authenticity and life just becomes easy from there because we're in congruence and it actually feels good.

47:11Work doesn't feel so hard. The relationship doesn't feel so difficult. We're acting from overflow rather than overwhelm, right? When we're in that state, think about it. You are at an all time high. You're like energy, your hormones, you're just operating from this beautiful state in space. So how does that translate into your workout routine? Well, all you want to do is store and amplify and grow. Yeah. Right, like for right now, I'm technically homeless, which is so silly to say, but I don't have anywhere to go. And I'm going to Hawaii.

47:41I don't have anywhere to go. My plan was to go to Maui. Maui had fires. Yes, you had a whole plan. We were praying over them. And I'm going to Oahu. And for the first time in my life, I can confidently say I'm not chasing anything. I don't think Oahu is going to like, like make me rediscover myself. I'm not on this search for anything. I'm fulfilled and I'm going to go to places where it will be amplified. So if you're fulfilled, you're going to go to the gym to amplify that fulfillment. Yes. Right. You're going to treat your body like a vessel to amplify your fulfillment. All of a sudden, it becomes less about the chasing and trying to find rather than it's

48:13like walking around like bags of need looking for fulfillment versus walking around like fulfillment looking for where's the need. And how can I serve and show up? Oh, snap. Really? Holy moly. That was powerful as fuck. I gave myself chills. Can I say that? Yes. Let's go. That's so good. Because like I think about like, why do I work out? Oh, fuck, man. It just makes me feel incredible.

48:44It makes me feel great. And to your point where you just said what you articulated so well is that I'm just amplifying that feel goodness. I'm living on purpose. Like I don't think of working out as a chore. Or I get to go do that because of the one body I've been given. Like I get to keep it. Yeah. Get to. That's it, babe. Yeah. I get to. Of course I do. I'm abundant. I'm strong. I'm powerful. I'm a badass. I get to take my ass in that gym and kick it myself. Like I that's like the treasure.

49:14That's the health. That's the vitality. So then we go from scarcity into abundance, right? We're like, I'm abundant. I'm deserving of things. I'm deserving of good health. I'm deserving of vitality. Like, of course, of course, of course. And so that's the reality that we start to see. And the body starts to listen because the body leans in and hears every thought that we have because thoughts release chemicals. Chemicals release hormones. Hormones release, right? So we're all of a sudden training this different muscle. We're leaning into this abundance. And we go from this voice of fear and scarcity and resistance to receptivity, growth, abundance,

49:46and faith. And we're like, I get to have it all, including the sexy body, because that's an amazing desire to have is a healthy, beautiful body. There's nothing wrong with that. Let's be very crystal clear. It's just the space in which you're coming from to get it. Oh, my God. The way you're articulating all of this is just so profound. You just do this. Thank you, girl. I can feel how passionate you are about this practice and about what you're doing. Like, this is your purpose.

50:20Thank you. I love to hear it, though. Come on. I'm like, I'll stop. Keep going. Come on. I'm putting my headphones in further. Let's feel it, man. I know everybody can feel it, too, on the podcast. Let's listen. So, okay. So a couple of questions to wrap up this podcast, which just has been so freaking good. And I thank you so much for your time and coming on here and sharing this knowledge, this wisdom, this love, this passion. Like, everything you have for all. Like I said, you can just feel it. So can you walk us through, like, a day-to-day with your personal routines that you do for

50:54yourself that kind of make you grounded? Like, I selflessly just want to know this, too. Totally. And I also want people to just take it because, like, it's probably so good to just center you at the beginning of the day. And people talk about, like, morning routines and, like, all that stuff. So I would love to know, what are your practices? Oh, I love this question. So I have a slightly different approach. And on another podcast, we can talk about polarity, right? Because the yin and the yang, we all have a beautiful balance of masculine, feminine energy within us, regardless of our gender. That masculine is, like, that stronghold, that security, that safety, that commitment, that

51:26boundary, that ability to show up to the gym, show up to our commitments. And then the feminine is the one that, like, gets to flow and be in the receptivity of life and be honored and nurturing and sexy and sensual and all the things, right? We both have these parts of us. And they kind of have these charges. So I have, like, the masculine container for me is, like, in the morning from 7 to 9 is, like, the container. Now, the feminine gets to play and what she wants to do within that. Like, sometimes I wake up and I stretch first. First thing I do is hit my knees. I've been doing that probably for, like, 300 and almost a year in a row.

51:59300 days in a row. Like, and pray. Sorry. You're like, do you literally hit on your knees? You're like, this is something I can get down. And you're like, okay, so a little knee tap on each side. I get excited and I skip over words and then I just hope that everybody knows. That was hilarious. We hit the knees. No, but really and truly, my practice is to, like, roll out of bed to get on the knees.

52:30And I start speaking out loud to God. And I have a whole prayer, you know, rhythm that I get into. We can talk about that later or whenever. But then from there, it's like, I know what feels good for me, right? Usually it's morning pages. It's like streamlined consciousness, getting out the thoughts and allowing myself to be messy with it, not articulate well. Just, like, be with what is on the heart, on the chest, and the body. Because when we are journaling, our thoughts are moving through three channels, if you will. So they go from the unconscious to the conscious. And then from the conscious to the prefrontal cortex. And then out on paper.

53:00So that's, like, three filters to, like, get our thoughts out of the way so we're not sitting with them all day. That's a really beautiful hack. One of my favorite, most profound practices is just to get up in the morning and write, like, two quick pages. And let it be messy at first. Let it be like, I don't know. This girl on this podcast told me to do this. I'm freaking tired. I'm having coffee. This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen, right? Like, what? Like, that's all okay. Like, I'm a huge advocate. Let's just call it what it is. It's not convenient by any means, right? That's hilarious. But it's like the marathon runner that starts training.

53:32And he's like, I hate these miles. This hurts. My joints hurt. But then all of a sudden, as he gets closer to the marathon, he's, like, gets agitated when he can't get his miles in. It's, like, the same for morning pages. It's a little resistant. But then you start to get agitated when you can't allow yourself the time and space to drop into the body. And to, like, move through what you need to move through. These things become imperative because you know how good they make you feel. And you're so much closer to the person you're becoming, right? So we have to meet this resistance and push past it. That's just where everyone drops out.

54:03You push past it and you'll start to see on a cellular level your body change. So I pray, journal, and then I do breath work every single morning. But whatever that looks like, right? It's, like, some mornings it's a grounding breath work. Sometimes it's energizing. So my routine is really to block out times that are intentional in my day but allow the feminine within me to kind of flow. So it doesn't feel like the thing that I have to wake up and do a 10-step process because that just doesn't feel sexy to my system in the morning. I'm, like, I might want tea. I might want coffee.

54:33I know I'm going to get all these things done in some order. But, like, who freaking cares? Who's watching anyway, right? Like, I get to just take this day and take this space for me. And then I'll give one last hack on my nighttime routine because I think that's something that goes really under the radar. Our nighttime routine is actually just as important and I would argue more important than our morning routine. And here's why. We're about to enter eight hours of subconscious programming. How many of us dream about the things we're worried about the most? Me, I do.

55:03I was, like, I just had to dream my house burnt down. What's that about? Subconscious mind. Yeah. Yeah. But it is. No, I'll have to pick your brain on the dreams. I've had one continue all throughout my life that, like, just picks up at times. So, yeah. We can go into that. Yeah. A hundred percent. Because it is. It's our subconscious. It's working, right? So every night I ask myself a question that I want the answer to in the morning. Like, if there's something that I want clarity on, I'll just say, hey, overnight God worked through me and allow me to have clarity on this thing in the morning. Because then we don't have to think about it, right?

55:35We don't have to spend all night trying to make it up ourselves. We just release it and surrender it. And the second thing I do is called the do-over. So every night I ask myself, is there anywhere in my day where I just didn't operate in acting my highest and best self? And to start out, there will be more than not, right? There will be, like, a couple times throughout your day. And the trick is not to only bring those to the conscious awareness and be kind of on them, and take that radical responsibility for them. But then I'll actually do them over as if I did respond from my highest and best self. Why do we do that? Because we're bringing it to our conscious and we're kind of admitting it to ourselves

56:07and we're holding ourselves in compassion, but we're showing ourselves where we could have acted and operated better. But now when I go into my day and that event occurs again, I've already rehearsed it. I know how I want to handle it and go about it and move about it differently. So that's, like, one of the biggest practices for me because it's, like, kind of closing out the day, forgiving and permissioning myself, and then showing myself what's possible next time. And we end on that high note and then our mind is just, like, working while we sleep to integrate that. That's incredible. That's – I love that.

56:38I'm going to have to steal that and put it into practice for sure. Give it to all your girls, too. That's a good one. Yeah, that's really good. Because also, too, you think about the last things you watched. Like, if you're watching something before you go to bed, you're probably dreaming about that or dreaming about seeing those faces in your dream. Yeah. So getting your head – getting your mind in the right area to enter your subconscious brain where you start thinking about things. Yeah, that's super powerful. Thank you for sharing that. Of course. So one more question, right?

57:08What would you tell yourself – what would be the little piece of advice that you would tell yourself when you were going through all of those challenges before you entered into this evolution for yourself? What would be the little piece of advice that you would tell that person? Two came up, so I'll just go with what my intuition says. The first one is get curious. Without a shadow of a doubt, get curious. Get curious about the things in your life that don't feel good, but you keep trying to force

57:41and push and create justification for and get curious about what does feel good. Get curious about where your energy goes and take inventory of what you're pouring into, what's pouring into you. Just start to get curious about your life, like this loving witness and this observer of your life and your tendencies and where they came from and if they're yours and if they're helpful, if they're harmful. Get curious. And the second thing is just let it be easy. We have this narrative that we have adopted that things are so hard and we have to work

58:12and hustle and force and move the needle and we have to make it stressful and we don't have time to drive the car from point A to point B with the windows down enjoying the music. Like we just – we feel like we don't deserve pleasure until we've reached something. We deserve pleasure in every moment all the time. Let it be a little bit easier. I told my – I started telling myself at 24 years old, I don't do stress. I don't do stress. And at first I didn't believe it because trust me, I was basically a walking ball of stress,

58:44but I started to tell myself that, right? Like I don't do that. I don't do stress. And now I still say it to this day. I'm like I can't honestly say like I don't do much stress. Like I don't know what it would take, but I don't get real wound up about things anymore. I just don't do it. This life's too short and it's too easy. Yes. To let it be easy and get curious. Wow. I love that. That was so good. Brittany, thank you so much for your time today, your energy, your passion, your love for this work. It's so apparent. And then like I said at the beginning, when you go follow her, you guys, on social,

59:16which I'll put all of her links below this in the description, you will see that she walks the talk. Like that's something I respect so much when I follow you. It's like you are sharing your experience. You're sharing the things that you have learned and gone through and you're taking it and then turning it into how you can help other people. So, so powerful. Thank you. And same for you. I said that on my podcast. Like that's why we're, we get along so well as I'm magnetized to people who are in their authentic expression and embody the work that they do more than anything else in the world.

59:48And thank you. That's a huge compliment. And I try to just be the same as in person and online and in friendships, wherever you find me, you'll, you'll pretty much get this version. I can see that. I've talked to you multiple times now and you're just incredible human. So thank you for being you and for coming on this podcast and everybody who wants to follow Britley, check out her work, check out her stuff in the description below. And I know we'll probably have you on another podcast too, especially that masculine and feminine. And I was like, there could be an entire.

1:00:20That's a whole thing. That's a whole thing. So good though. Yeah. But thank you for being here, babe. Appreciate you. Of course. Thanks everybody. Hey guys, real quick. If you're interested in taking your body to the next level, lose body fat, build more muscle, feel more confident. Do it alongside one of our 30 plus professional coaches. Work one-on-one with her to eliminate all of the guesswork that you may have. And all you need to do is just do the work that she tells you to do to get to those goals of yours.

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