What to Do When People Don't Support Your Fitness Goals

Nikkiey: But here's what you have to realize. Some people will never support you. Even the closest people in your circle, they could be friends for 15, 20, 30 years. Some people will just never support you, and that's okay. Your growth reminds them that they're staying the same.

Alright guys, so today I'm really excited to be here with you all. Oh, 40, the big 4-0, let's go. Oh, happy birthday, girl, that's today, yeah.

You guys know that this is one of my favorite things to be able to do with you guys, right? I love coming here, being able to connect with you all, being able to pour into you guys, have these conversations. Y'all know that I like to go beyond fitness because this journey is so much bigger than just the reps you guys do inside the gym, the macros that you count on a daily basis, the workouts that you do on a weekly and daily basis. So what's on my heart tonight is, if tonight's message just hits one person, I just want one of y'all to have a mindset shift.

And I want you guys to be able to step into your power and I want y'all to let go of what may be holding you back. Okay? So tonight, if you guys are ready... oh, thank you. Thank you guys for trusting in WarriorBabe and being here. Y'all don't know how much that means to me. I love you guys. If you guys are ready for tonight's message, do me a favor and type... oh, let's go. Shout out to the new WarriorBabes. All right. I promise I'm not going to get sidetracked by the chat box.

Maybe I should shut it down. I should just close it down because the comments are making me hype. If you guys are ready, type ready, or type let's go. Tonight's going to be really interactive, so we're going to get to use the chat box a lot. I want to feel like I'm connected to you guys even more. Let's go.

All right. I need y'all to really hear me when I say this. Okay? The hardest part of any fitness journey, it's not in the workouts. It's not in your meal prep. It's not even, from what I've learned and continue to learn as I evolve on my own personal journey, in the discipline. I know y'all have heard me say you've got to work on the discipline muscle. You've got to work on meal prep. But who am I as a coach if I don't come back to you guys and try to challenge you a little bit more? Right? So we're going to get a little bit deeper tonight. The hardest part is making the decision to finally put yourself first.

And actually sticking to it. Yeah. I saw some of y'all's faces. Y'all are like, yeah. Ann, I see you. I see you. I've been doing some of these WarriorBabe success interviews. Some of you guys have been in the program for just shy of three months, to six months, to years. And the continual thing that I've been hearing is putting yourself first. I'm like, oh, I've got to bring this to the whole community. Because the moment that you guys do, the world around you shifts, right?

Your friends start to notice. Your coworkers start to notice. Your partner starts to notice. And not all of them are going to like it. Right? They're going to question you. They're going to make comments. They're going to make you feel like an outsider for choosing to be and do better. And this right here is where a lot of women crumble.

Not because they're not capable. Not because they don't want it bad enough. Because they let the weight of other opinions pull them back down. You know what I mean by that? If you feel like that's you, type me in the chat. If you feel like you've had someone question, doubt or criticize your own fitness journey. And yo, I've been there. You guys are not alone. At the beginning of my own fitness journey, my stepmom, my own parental figure since I was seven years old, questioned me.

And she was like, you can't do that. See, we're not alone. We're all together on this. Because I know we've all experienced this. We've all felt this. We've all had this happen in our own space. And here's what I need you guys to understand. This is your journey. This journey is yours. It's not theirs. You're not here to convince them. You're not here to explain yourself. You're not here to beg for someone's approval.

You're not here to make people happy. You're here to become the woman that you're meant to become. You're here stepping in and choosing an act of fitness, an act of eating better, an act of working out, an act of putting yourself first, to walk in the path of who you are becoming. You guys have heard me talk about this all the time. It's not about who you are right now. It's, okay, who is the person I'm stepping into?

I've talked about this in many other community calls and in years prior, even on the podcast. Because this message, the shift in mindset I want you all to have tonight, is going to be the thing that helps you break free from the weight of other people's opinions and fully step into your power in your fitness journey. I want to bring this home: it's not in the workouts. It's not in the reps. It's not in the macros being counted. It's how are you showing up for yourself on a daily basis?

And you're going to have to be able to block out the opinions of people that aren't in alignment with yours. And we're going to talk about that tonight. How many of you guys have ever felt judged for making a healthy choice? I remember this was me when I worked in the emergency room and I had all of my prepackaged meals. My coworkers just joked about my meal prep while they grabbed... there was tons of fast food. There was pizza and donuts. There was a local fair that went on every year. And there were always donuts in our emergency room break room.

Or maybe friends have rolled their eyes at you when you ordered chicken or veggies instead of ordering the fries. Or maybe your partner has even questioned you, like, why are you spending so much time in the gym instead of watching TV with me? Right. Who knows? It could be any different type of scenario. We each have our own, and it happens all the time. And that pressure, the need to explain yourself, to get people to understand, to not feel like the weird one. I always felt like I was the weird one.

I felt like I was the weird one with my family. I felt like I was the weird one in nursing school. I felt like I was the weird one with my friends. I've shared with you guys too that at the beginning of my journey, my friends wanted to go out every weekend. And so the first night that I decided to make a change and embark on my journey, I was the DD. And people were like, why are you not drinking? And I'm like, I'm the weird one. You know? I was prioritizing myself. Nobody else around me got it. And that can be this thing, feeling like you need to explain yourself or feeling like you want to get people to understand.

Or not wanting to be the weird one. That very thing can keep you stuck, and you may not even realize it. And that's why I want to go a little bit deeper tonight. Have you guys started reading or heard of Mel Robbins' new book, Let Them? Have you guys heard about that? Say yes if you have or no if you haven't in the chat box. Reading it now. Yes. No. Yes. Okay. No, no, no. Okay. A mixture. Okay.

Sweet. Yeah. Let Them. It's one of her new books. I'm reading it right now. And whenever something is in my ecosystem, from the success stories of hearing people say they want to put themselves first, to reading this book right now, I'm about halfway through it, I was like, this has to come to you guys. She says when people don't understand you, when they doubt you, when they resist your growth, in those instances you need to pause and be able to say, let them.

But when it comes to your goals, your health, your body, your happiness, you say, let me. What I love about that is, the second that you decide to put yourself first, the opinions of others won't just disappear. Okay. But what I love about it is someone could say something, your coworkers could joke around about your meal prep and say all these things, and you could be like, cool.

I'm going to let you do you, boo. And I'm going to do me, and I'm going to sit here and enjoy this meal. And I didn't even realize I was doing this, but how I used to think about it was, this healthy meal is going to let me show up for my patients better. This healthy meal is going to let me stick a needle in someone on the first shot instead of fishing around the fifth time. I'm going to be focused, because I didn't just eat pizza, which can make me feel all bogged down. I had a healthy meal and now I'm focused.

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Where I feel like most people get stuck is when we spend so much energy trying to get other people to understand our choices.

Good. You guys just ordered it. Yes. The title is Let Them, by Mel Robbins. But what we do is we try to make people understand why we're doing things. We want our friends to get it. We want our family to be supportive. We want our partner to jump on board and do this fitness journey with us and eat better. But let me tell you guys something. What I've learned, and what I'm hearing in this book, is that is not your job.

That is not your job. I was saying this to one of my girlfriends, because she's going through something, and I didn't even realize I was saying it. She was like, have you read the book Let Them? And I'm like, no. This was prior to me reading it. I was telling her, you can't be responsible for people's reactions. And that just hit her. Y'all can't be responsible for your friends' reactions. You can't be responsible for your coworkers' reactions. You can't be responsible for your partner's reactions.

You cannot control how people react to your growth. Let them misunderstand you. Let them judge you. Let them doubt you. Let them criticize you. Let them say these things. Because their reactions say more about them than they do about you. Mic drop. Right? If your coworker wants to mock your meal prep, let them. If your partner doesn't understand why you want to improve your body,

let them. If your best friend gets uncomfortable because you're evolving and she's not, let her. Right, Terry? Yeah. And listen, when I'm hearing this in the book, and then when I actually try to see where I've applied it in my life, this is hard. It is hard. I get it. If you guys are like, man, how can I do this better, the book is definitely going to help you. But I want to acknowledge that I understand that it's hard.

Because you want the people in your life to celebrate you. You want your friends to support you. You want your coworkers to look at you in admiration. You want your husband to be like, honey, you're doing such a great freaking job. But here's what you have to realize. Some people will never support you. And I'm saying this because I love you guys. Even the closest people in your circle, they could be friends for 15, 20, 30 years. Some people will just never support you. And that's okay. You ever have friends that you've been friends with for 20 years?

Y'all have been through different seasons and different paths. And maybe you don't agree on things, but you're still friends. Some people just won't support you, right? Because your growth reminds them that they're staying the same. Yeah. You've got to find your tribe. The tribe right here, though. The WarriorBabe tribe. Y'all have your small groups. You've got the small huddles with your team, with your coaches. That's your tribe. Those people are going to support you. But some people along the way, they won't support you.

And I want you guys to know that it's because your growth reminds them that they're staying the same. And instead of fixing their own things that they need to fix, it's easier for them to criticize your journey. I know that's going to be hard to hear, but you just have to let them. You have to let them stay small. You have to let them remain stuck. You have to let them keep making excuses. Because the thing here is, you can try to help them, but they may not even receive it.

And so you're giving away more of your energy. Change happens of one's own accord. If y'all want to write that down: change happens of one's own accord. And while you're letting them continue on their own walk, while you're walking a little bit faster, you continue to move. You continue to build. You continue to evolve. Right? So if this is making sense to you guys, can you drop let them in the chat? I want to make sure that y'all are listening, connected, tuned in, that this is hitting home.

Cool. Yeah. I love that. Okay. So I said at the beginning, there's the let them, right? There's let them do these things. But the most powerful thing she talks about in the book is the let me aspect. That's the powerful second half of the phrase. Let them bounce, Ann. That's hilarious. There's let them, and then there's let me, or let you.

But I'm going to say let me, because that's how she says it. And this is where you reclaim your control. Because at the end of the day, you have a choice. Let me be disciplined. Let me eat my high-protein meals without your opinion. Let me train my body and push my limits. Let me set my own goals and crush them. Isn't that so empowering, to be able to just stay in alignment with what you want and what you deserve?

Let me take up space. Let me be strong. Let me show up for myself without any type of apology. Let me be freaking great. I want to say that word, but I'm trying to get better at that, y'all. You guys know that I like to curse. If y'all have been here for a while, you know that. If you're just joining in, you're going to get a better version of Nikkiey moving forward. But seriously, be effing great. Be effing great.

Let me be effing great. Let me be freaking amazing. Saying this is like, I don't need you to approve. I don't need you to agree. I don't need you to validate me. You're already amazing, just as you are. You don't need external validation from anybody other than validating yourself on your own journey. Because you like it, because you want this, because you want to achieve something. Right? Yeah. Seek your own validation.

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Very, very liberating. And you know what's very funny about all of this? People have no problem when you're playing small. Think about the flip of this. When you skip the gym because you're too tired, people have no problem with that. Friends have no problem with that. When you eat whatever's easy instead of fueling your body appropriately, or when you settle for good enough instead of striving for more, people have no problem when you're playing small. They don't say a damn thing.

Because that version of you is easy for them to handle. Because it's in alignment with them. But the moment that you decide to level up, take the step forward and walk a little bit faster on your path, the moment that you start prioritizing yourself, the moment that you start making choices that challenge their comfort zones, that's when the opinions start rolling in, and the judgment and criticism and all of these things. But here's what they don't get.

And this is not up for debate, y'all. You will lift heavier. Let me. Right? You're going to fuel your body appropriately. Let me. These are just more examples of how you're going to do the let me version. I want to stay consistent even when motivation fails. Let me. Don't let anybody else tell you, oh, you can just skip the gym today. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to stay consistent even if I'm not feeling motivated. Let me. I'm going to take care of my health because I refuse to settle for less.

I signed up for this program. I'm going to follow through. Let me. I'm going to build the body that makes me feel powerful. Let me. I'm not here to explain myself. I'm not here to ask for permission. I'm not here to play small so others feel comfortable. I'm here to build the strongest version of myself, the most confident version of myself, the most unstoppable version of myself. Cue that song. Exactly. I see you dancing over there, Kelly. That's where that song comes into play.

It reminds you guys on a daily basis. The chorus plays three times. It's like positive affirmations in your brain while you're working out, or even if you have all this chatter going on in your space. I think the song is three minutes long. Taking three minutes out of your day to put that in there and just breathe and remind yourself, I am unstoppable. I'm on this journey for me. And if it makes anybody else uncomfortable, that's their problem, not yours. Because if I can get real for a second, y'all know I like to give some tough love, but

I'm trying to approach my tough love a little bit better. When you guys level up, you're going to outgrow people. Even if you're 45, even if you're 55, even if you're 65, that's okay. It doesn't mean that you have to distance yourself from them entirely. It just means that you recognize this, and you can give them empathy and compassion to understand that their journey is a little bit different than yours in this space of fitness and nutrition, but you're still going to show up and do you. And not everyone is meant to go where you're going, if we keep it in the

lane of fitness and nutrition. Not everyone's meant to be on this journey. Y'all had something in your life that made you feel uncomfortable, that made you not happy, that made you want to make a change. I've been hearing these stories and it's so cool. I've done 21 success stories from WarriorBabes in the last four weeks. And they each individually had their own story navigating different things, and so do you guys. I want to pinpoint that. You all have your own individual stories. There was something that made you want to change.

And some of you guys already said you've experienced this along the way. I just want you to know that not everyone is meant to go there. In your circle, in your space, even if it's a small town where you live and nobody else is taking nutrition seriously, which is one of the ones I heard in an interview, one, you have this community, but also know that you're still going to show up for yourself. Even in a small town, not everyone's meant to go where you're going.

Not everyone's going to understand your choices, and that is okay. But here's what you cannot do. You cannot shrink yourself. Promise me that you won't do these things as you continue forward on your journey. You can't shrink yourself to make other people comfortable. You can't dim your own light, because so many of you have such incredible lights in you, just because it shines too bright for someone else who's stuck in the dark. Promise me that. You can't slow down just because someone else refuses to speed up.

And when I say that, I'm talking about the walk. You're just taking a couple more steps ahead of your friends or your coworkers or your partner. And that's okay. You know what the coolest part is? She even said in one of the chapters of the book that people start to see this. You've got to put yourself first. And then once you do, when there are results showing, or your energy shifts, or you're feeling better, you're feeling more confident... I've heard in the success interviews too that husbands see that, partners

see that, friends see that. And they will eventually get past this discomfort and they'll ask you, what are you doing? So along the way, know that you just have to keep going. Don't ever dim your light if someone else is stuck in their own dark season. You have to keep going no matter what, even if it makes people uncomfortable, even if you potentially lose friendships along

the way, even if you have to walk the road alone for a little bit, even though you don't have to, because you have this entire community. Because your future self, think about that woman. Think about who you're becoming and the results that you're seeking and what you want and how you want to feel and what you want to wear and how that person communicates on a daily basis. Does she communicate with more confidence? Your future self is counting on you to push through any of this if you're experiencing it. So with all this, let them, let me: can you guys make a promise for the next

week with me, on top of the promises you've already said you're going to make? Will you guys not dim your light? Can you say that? Say, I'm not going to dim my light for somebody else. Every time someone questions your choices... Mo, does the chat box get you so excited? Every time I see it going off, I see you smile. Yo, shout out to Coach Mo. She is such an incredible human. And you guys have the pleasure of working with her. A couple of the success stories have had her as their coach, and they have nothing

but amazing things to say about Coach Mo. So anyway, for the next week, every time someone questions your choices, every time someone doubts your commitment... and trust me, with me bringing this to your space, I feel like whenever I bring something to your environment and you're listening and attentive, it's going to show up one way or another. So be ready, if you're willing to accept this promise, because you're going to be tested.

If you believe in a higher power or God, he's going to say, okay, you made Nikkiey a promise. How are you going to handle it if someone questions your choices, or someone doubts your commitment, or someone makes you feel weird for going after your goals? I want you guys to take a deep breath. Yeah, let them. Good. That's what I was just about to ask you guys to say. Take a deep breath and repeat to yourself, whisper to yourself, let me, or let them, let me.

Let them, let me. And then do as Mel Robbins says: do the damn thing anyway. That's what she says in the book. Let them, let me, and then do the damn thing anyway. So if you guys can drop a let's freaking go in the chat box, you're committing to this. Because if there's anything I've learned from reading this book and being on my own personal evolution journey, it's that your future self is watching you. And she's waiting for you to stop making decisions based on the opinions of

other people who don't even have the results that you want yet. This is your fitness. This is your body. This is your life. The more that you own it, the stronger you become. Okay, so let them talk. Let them doubt. Let them stay in their lane. And let me, let you, go all in on what you deserve. I want you guys to absolutely continue to crush it, no matter where you're at in your journey. A lot of you are walking different paths, but you're all here in the same community with the same goal in mind: wanting to better yourself, wanting to change your body composition,

wanting to learn how to eat right and to work out, and to learn how to put yourself first, because those things require that of you. Right? I need to make sure I get my workout in. I need to make sure that I have time to meal prep. I need to make sure that I'm sitting down and learning macros so that I can make it a sustainable practice for the long term, because y'all have been on the diet train for how long? Now you're here, where we teach sustainability, and it requires you to put you first. So with that, I love you guys. It's a little bit shorter of a call than I've done with you all, but I feel like the points

were driven home, and I appreciate you, and I want you guys to go win. So go win, go be unstoppable, go crush it. And I'll see you guys next time. Y'all are amazing. I thank you every single day for this, because if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't be able to do what I do, to pour into you, and same with the coaches. So thank you. Thank you for trusting in WarriorBabe, and just go crush it. That's all I ask. That's all the coaches ask. Love y'all.

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