Why Can't I Stick to My Workout Plan After 40?

Nikkiey: But you can't prioritize a workout or a meal prep. That's not laziness. That's just a misalignment. What I'm saying is you can show up for all of those things, but you can't prioritize your meal prep and a workout, and it's just because it's not in alignment yet.

What's going on, you guys? Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to episode number 273.

Y'all, before we even dive in, if you're watching this on video, my eyes probably look so glassy right now. I just need to call that out because I'm seeing myself in the video. For anybody that's on the East Coast, you guys know I'm from Philly, Pennsylvania. We got rocked with some electrifying thunderstorms last night. Insane. The lightning was acting as if the lights were on in the house, and nonstop. And within three seconds of the lightning came massive thunder. I felt like it went on all night long.

I can handle thunderstorms. Love them. The second thing, if y'all know, is that I have a Doberman, Maverick. If you've been following me for a while, y'all know that he does not like thunderstorms. Well, last night was the worst that I've ever encountered in his four years of existence. His whining and his shaking and his panting and his pacing. Guys, I think I got maybe an hour of sleep. This is welcoming me into childhood, right? I don't let him sleep in the bed. But last night, the only way he felt comfortable was allowing him to sleep in the bed. But he sleeps on top of me. His neck is on my neck. His body is on my body. I finally fell asleep in the most awkward position at four o'clock in the morning, where I'm in the top right corner of the bed, and he's on top of me, and I'm barely hanging on the bed. I'm about to fall off.

All in all to say, I am tired. So if anybody is on the East Coast and y'all have been getting rocked with thunderstorms, and maybe your dogs have been doing the same thing, I feel you. I'm in the same boat as you. This is being recorded on Tuesday, July 1st, and we're about to go on to another round tonight. So just Godspeed. Say a prayer. Anyway, this is being released on Friday, so y'all will know the week that y'all had, and I'm there with you.

Anyway, today's episode, my friends. Let's get to it. Bear with me. First, I want to ask you guys a question. Have you ever said to yourself, "I'm so lazy," because you couldn't stick to a workout plan or you couldn't stick to your macro plan? I've been there. I get that. But the truth is, it's not that you're lazy, and it's not that laziness is holding you back. It's more that you're in a misalignment. You're not in alignment with this vision that you have, or this identity that you want to become, or this strategy that you are now a part of, a workout plan or macro program. When those things don't line up, your motivation is going to take a massive hit.

So today I want to dive into aligning those pieces for you guys so that action becomes automatic. It becomes so easy to do. It becomes second nature for you. You've probably heard me talk about this in one way or another in previous episodes, but it's really latching on to the identity of who you want to become in that vision.

But before we even dive into that, let's be real. That term laziness is doing you guys such a major disservice. You are not lazy. You've been trying to force change into a system that wasn't built to support it yet. Think about it like this. You show up for work. You show up for your family. You show up for any other obligation that you are responsible for. You take your kids to practice. You cook around the house. You have responsibilities. You have work obligations. You have meetings and you have events. Whatever it is you have to show up for, you show up for those things. But you can't prioritize a workout or a meal prep. That's not laziness. That's just a misalignment. What I'm saying is you can show up for all of those things, but you can't prioritize your meal prep and a workout, and it's just because it's not in alignment yet.

Without a crystal clear vision of what you want, it's so easy to drift. It's so easy to sway away from the meal prep or the workout plan. Without a strong identity, your mind doesn't support the action yet. And without a smart strategy, even those of you who are so motivated and have a motivated mind will still find it hard to sustain any type of change. That gap creates resistance. The gap of: you have this vision, but your mind doesn't support it yet, and without strategy, even the motivated mind will have a hard time creating any type of change. That's basically what I'm trying to say.

I'm going to have to repeat a lot in this episode, because I'm trying to make it make sense in my brain so that it makes sense in your brain as well. My brain is probably like pudding right now because of my tiredness and my sleep. But I was like, I need to show up for you guys and bring this episode for y'all today.

If that gap is creating resistance, that's what feels like laziness. If your mind isn't yet latched on to that clear vision, or latched on to that strong identity, and your mind doesn't support it yet, that's where it feels like laziness, because you're not motivated. It's hard to create that type of change.

Okay. So when you have a vision, a vision is the most emotional fuel for your habits. Instead of saying, "I want to lose 10 pounds," which, I love that goal, but it's a number. You may not lose 10 pounds, but you may see drastic change within your body. It's very surface level. Instead, let's get deeper. Ask: who is the woman on the other end of this transformation that I want to meet? What does her morning routine look like? How does she nourish her body? What's her mindset when life gets tough? See that in vivid detail. Maybe she's strong. Maybe she's resilient. Maybe she's confident enough to choose what's best for herself. She's present with her family. She's full of energy. She's proud of her reflection. She's proud of her progress. She's proud of X, Y, and Z.

The clearer the image, the faster the alignment will take over, and your habits start landing without any type of struggle. This is where you start to close that gap. When you can see this vivid picture of the person that you want to become, and I've talked about this many times in previous episodes, when you can paint that picture and see it vividly, and see how she's showing up, how she's acting, what her habits look like, what she's doing first thing in the morning, she's drinking the water, and you're staying consistent with doing that in the reality of what you're in right now, you start to close that gap. You start to live in alignment now, in the present moment, on a daily basis. Then the habits just start to land. You start to see yourself doing these habits regularly, and when you've been doing it for three months and you look back, you can't imagine yourself not doing these habits tomorrow or the day after.

Really get into that vision of who you are becoming. I say that all the time. It's not who am I now. It's who am I becoming? Who am I working to be? What does she look like?

I always use the story of me having no idea what I was doing at the beginning of my journey. No idea how to work out. No idea how to eat right. I was very ignorant to nutrition. I didn't know it until I got obsessed with learning about it and then implementing it into my day to day. But I would always see this vision of myself being strong, being confident, feeling sexy in my body, winning all of those shows that I won in my bodybuilding era. I saw that vision so vividly, and I understood how that person was showing up. It was being disciplined. When the hard times come, it's being able to get through them with discipline, with grit, with determination, with persistence. And also being patient with myself, knowing that mistakes are going to happen. I'm going to have days where I'm tired and I'm not going to show up 110%, and that's okay. Some days look like 10% while the next day may look like 80%. That's okay. I knew that this was how my trajectory was unfolding, but I was living that on a regular daily basis.

The next step that I started to fall into was identity. You're not trying to be disciplined. In my day to day, I wasn't trying to be disciplined. I was disciplined. You are disciplined. Your brain has to believe that. It's the trap of "when I have time, I'll work out." That's what a lot of people say. But no, it's "I am a woman who works out." You have to say those declarative statements to yourself on a daily basis. You can't live as "oh, when I have time today, I'm going to work out." If you have this vision where you want to feel sexy in your bikini, or you want longevity and to add years to your life, or you want to feel a type of way when you step in the room with your partner, or how you feel naked, whatever it is, you can't live in "well, if I have time today, I'm going to get to the gym." No. I'm a woman who works out.

Your future self, the woman that you're future casting to be in that vision, already has the identity of someone who works out, because she has accomplished so much. She's accomplished all of these results. She's accomplished losing the inches, losing the pounds, and more importantly the mindset of "it's not just a number I'm chasing, it's a lifestyle I'm chasing." That's a part of the identity flip. This doesn't happen overnight. I've said that in so many episodes before. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of rewiring new habits and unwiring old habits that don't serve you.

But more importantly, you are showing up using these declarative statements. "I am someone who nourishes my body with intention. I am somebody who seeks out eating healthy on a daily basis because it makes me feel good. I am someone who seeks out fueling my body with the right hydration and the right nutrition."

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Let me be real transparent and real honest with you guys, because this is a part of the journey. I'm 10 years in. But those 10 years haven't been 100% every year. There have been years where I showed up maybe 70%. There have been years where I showed up 20%. This is a year right now, you guys, where maybe I've shown up about 30% for myself, until last week when I was like, this is a hard stop.

Some of you know that I'm in a new relationship, and there are some things that come along with a new relationship as you try to intertwine your two lives together. Alcohol on a weekly basis has become something that's just been, "Oh, we're going out and grabbing a drink. We're having tacos, let's have a margarita. We're going out with friends, let's have a drink." And last week I was like, this is not how I roll. I'm not really an alcohol person, even just a drink. Some of you listening to this episode have been out with me and had a drink, and I don't even finish it.

So last week I was like, all right, six weeks, I'm dialing it back. No alcohol at all. Because the vision that I have for myself is someone who doesn't really drink. I'll have a drink here and there, but one every weekend and on all the vacations I was doing, my future self doesn't really indulge in that as frequently. So I had to have a real talk with myself, and with God as well, and say, all right, I want to get back to nourishing my body the right way, eating the right way, hydrating myself the right way. Because I know that alcohol gives you a lot of fog. It's poison to the body. You guys, one of the top episodes of this podcast is about alcohol. It provides a lot of fogginess and not good sleep, and all of that is in the opposite direction of recovery, and also the way that you feel in your workouts, and hormones start to go crazy, and all of these things. I'm like, all right, that thing needs to be cut out.

But what I'm saying is, I am someone who doesn't do that on a regular basis. I may do it once in a while, but that's part of my identity. So it's getting back to that and living as if you already are the person you are working towards, and how you show up as her on a daily basis.

When I was saying it's not easy over the years, I just put a post out on Instagram. Discipline looks like Monday 100%, Tuesday 5%, Wednesday 20%, Thursday 80%, Friday 90%, Saturday 10%. That's what it looks like. And now span it over the years. 2017, 100%. 2018, 100%, because those are the years I was competing. 2019, maybe 75%. 2020 was probably like 50%. So even over a yearly span, this is what it looks like in the creation of who you are, the vision that you want to have, and the identity that you're stepping into. You're not going to be 100% on a daily basis or a weekly basis or even a yearly basis.

But how are you showing up? "I'm someone who shows up even when it's hard." That's what consistency and discipline is. When you speak this way, your subconscious starts to rewire, and you start to act more in alignment. You start reinforcing your identity, even when you have, like what I'm sharing with you guys with this transparency, a hardcore check-in with yourself. I'm reinforcing the identity, and over time, who you are starts guiding what you do without relying on willpower or relying on motivation. You start acting more in alignment with the person that you are, the person that you want to become.

And the thing is, as I had to check back in with myself as well, identity without structure is just hope. So you have to support the identity. What are your non-negotiables? Right now mine is not having any alcohol for six weeks. Put in your workouts. Block those in your calendar. Block the meal prep. Reflect that time on a weekly basis on your calendar so you can see it every day. No excuses. So what are your non-negotiables for yourself? Because when you have this type of support and you're supporting your identity, you're going to have structure. And with this structure, you're going to be able to lean more into the identity that you're painting and building for yourself.

Track alignment versus results. Ask yourself: did you show up for her today? Did you show up for your future self today? Not "how much weight did I lose today? Did I step on a scale and were there pounds down?" No. How is the alignment getting more aligned on a daily basis, rather than the results that you're seeing on a daily basis?

Be ready for the dips. What's your response to a missed workout session or a trigger meal? Have an automatic reset ritual. For me, this year is just a dip, and that's okay. You're going to have those. It's more about getting curious and looking back at why this dip is happening, instead of being judgmental to yourself or breaking yourself down or talking yourself into a spiral: "You know better. Why are you doing this? Why are you showing up like this?" What is your response to those situations? You're going to miss a workout session. You're going to have an off meal. You're going to have an off week. You're going to have an off month. You're going to have an off year. But what is your response to that?

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All right, let's get back to the show. How do you get back after the weekend? The 4th of July is coming up. It's the 4th of July weekend as this episode comes out. How are you going to come out of this weekend? You're going to have time to be with friends and family. You're going to have time to maybe have a drink. You're going to have times where maybe you're not getting your workout in. You're going to have burgers, hot dogs, X, Y, and Z, and the ice cream. Okay. But what is the reset ritual? What does Monday look like for you? What is your response to that?

The reset ritual is: okay, the holiday is done. You get right back to it. You get your workout done. You have your plan mapped out for your macros and your nutrition for the day. You hydrate extra, because you probably didn't get that much hydration in over the weekend. It's not that you come into Monday and beat yourself up. It's what is your response to it?

And then, what is the accountability? You guys, what I'm rattling out right now are systems to support your future self, systems to support your identity and the identity you're working to be born into. Accountability is huge. It helps to reinforce that identity. Accountability is your identity GPS. For me, it's accountability for six weeks. It's all my people around me holding me accountable to that, and it's reinforcing me to get back into alignment with my identity.

So what does accountability look like for you? Some of you are part of WarriorBabe. That accountability is your coach. That accountability is on Monday, you're going to check in with her and say, "Okay, the July weekend's done. I'm getting back to it." The accountability is your check-in. If you're not a part of WarriorBabe, what can that accountability look like for you? Is it reaching out to your circle, your friends? Maybe you have a workout partner, and you need to be the one that says, "Guys, today we're getting back to it. I'm going to the gym. What about you? What time are you going?"

Your identity and your systems, what I just talked about: your non-negotiables, blocking your non-negotiables on your calendar, tracking your alignment versus tracking your results, being prepared for how you respond to the dips, and having accountability. Your identity and your systems start to feed each other, and then the momentum from these things starts to build very, very fast.

Maybe this is new to you, and you are working on being born into the fit, healthy "this is who I am" identity. "I'm a woman who works out. I'm a woman who nourishes my body. I'm a woman who X, Y, and Z," whatever is more in alignment with the fit identity that you're working towards. If that is you, these things will help you get on that momentum train faster. Or maybe you're like me, and you've been at this for five, six, seven, 10 years, and you've been falling off the wagon. You haven't been as consistent with your workouts. You haven't been as consistent with your nutrition. Maybe you've been having an extra drink here and there. Now it's just the way you respond to it. With these systems, the accountability, the "Am I showing up for her today? Did I show up for her today?" You know what success feels like. You know what it feels like to be in alignment with the identity. Now, if you're a little bit off that, what do you need to get back on track? What does the accountability look like? Once you start implementing and reinforcing these systems for yourself, that momentum is going to build very fast as well.

Okay. So picture this. Your vision is so strong. You are a capable woman. Your identity is that you are her. Your strategy is a clear plan that folds into your real life. And then action follows each day. You prep your meals because that's what she does. You work out because you are the woman who cares for her body. You handle disruptions because you are that type of woman who shows up.

This isn't about being perfect, and I think I made that pretty clear a couple of minutes ago. It's about consistent progress. That is when the transformation becomes real and life changing. If you're in bucket A, working to build and be born into the identity, not being perfect but making consistent progress is where the transformation is going to happen. Your vision is strong, you're a capable person, your identity is that you are her, and you have your strategy.

You are already showing up at work, in life, for your family, for your kids, for your partner. You're not lazy in those aspects. I want to circle back to what I said at the beginning. It's not that you're lazy. Think about the way that you show up in those areas. Are you perfect every single day? Heck no. The same thing applies to working on your health and your fitness and working out. It's not about being perfect. It's about starting, and starting to fold these things into your day consistently. Think about how you got the identity of a mom, the identity of an employee, the identity of a business owner, the identity of X, Y, and Z. What did it look like to get there? That's the same thing that has to happen with your nutrition, meal prep, eating healthy, nourishing your body, hydrating, sleeping. That's all part of the identity of a fit, healthy individual.

Okay, that's transformation bucket one. Bucket two: you know that you already are fit and healthy. You have that identity, but it's about getting realigned and back to "this is who I am, and I'm going to do better at showing up as who I am and who I've been. I just fell off for a little bit, and that's okay." There's no judgment there, but there is realignment.

All right. If you're in bucket A, draft your vision. Who do you want to become? Describe her in absolute 100% detail. Declare your identity: "I am a woman who works out. I'm a woman who eats healthy," whatever aligns with your vision. Then pick something that you're going to implement before Monday: a scheduled workout, that accountability, you're going to meal prep, you're going to eat your protein, just protein prep, whatever it is. What is the strategic system?

If you're in bucket B, or bucket two, whatever I called it, which is my bucket, what is the one thing that's going to help you be more realigned with yourself? Is it cutting out the alcohol? Is it getting back on the meal prep? Is it tracking in MyFitnessPal for a week because you haven't really been tracking? Like I shared in the intuitive eating podcast, maybe you haven't really been tracking and you've been a little off the wire with intuitive eating, so you need to reel it back in, especially after a holiday weekend. Maybe it's that. Whatever it is, do what gets you more in alignment with the identity that you are or the identity that you are becoming.

All right, you guys. I hope this podcast helped you. I hope you're going to have an amazing holiday weekend. Enjoy it. Know that you don't need to be perfect, and you can get right back to it on Monday.

If this episode resonated with you, I ask that you screenshot it and post it to your stories. Let me know what popped out and what resonated with you the most. And remember, you're not lazy. You're just not aligned yet, or you need to get realigned. Alignment is everything. When all three of these things we talked about line up, discipline isn't a chore. It's just part of who you are at that point.

All right, guys. I love y'all, and I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out.

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