Why Comparison Is Killing Your Progress

00:00Like we're constantly seeing the after photos. We're constantly seeing like the aesthetic pictures, the aesthetics of the meals. We're seeing the scale drops. We're seeing the strength PRs. But what we're not seeing and what I wish social media did better with this, we're not seeing the years and years of hard work. The discipline that that person had to go through to get there. Like not many people wake up in the morning and they're like, first thing in the morning, let me open up Instagram.

00:30Be like, yo, bro, I do not feel like doing this today, but I'm going to go do it. Yo, yo, yo. What is going on, my friends? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkie Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. And on this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident.

01:04I am your host, Nikkie Stott, and welcome to episode number 249. Guys, I'm just really excited to be here with you all. It has been maybe like a week and a half, almost two weeks now that I've recorded a solo episode. I know that I said this in the last solo episode. The month of March is kind of a blur. It was a really fun March, a really fun month, really fun birthday month. But I was on a trip every weekend and I'm just, and it ended with a bang. Y'all, if you follow me on Instagram, know that I was in the darkness, literally a pitch black darkness.

01:38I just can't see hand in front of face with myself and my thoughts and alone in the middle of freaking Oregon for three days and four nights. So it was a fun month. But I'm really, and I'm going to record a podcast on that because a lot of you guys have been, you know, asking me. We did a whole Q&A. You guys are very interested and I love that you guys are so curious about that journey. And you guys were leading in with me when I came out. I did a Q&A on my Instagram story. But anyway, I'm going to do a whole podcast on an episode for sure. But we got some really cool solo episodes and guest episodes.

02:12I just recorded an epic guest episode last night with a pretty big force within the fitness space right now. She is making waves and me and I am on her, I'm on her boat. And I'm just really excited for that podcast. It's going to come out next week. I don't know if it's going to be Monday or Friday. But you guys will definitely want to tune in for that one. Today though, guys, again, I'm just really excited to be here with you all. It's one of my favorite things is recording these episodes and I'm just, you know, praying that we get back on pace here. Thank you for listening to the interviews that we've been throwing out.

02:45It's really inspiring and really empowering to hear those worried babes journeys. But I'm trying to get these solo episodes back on course. Anyway, with all that being said, today, guys, I want to dive into a topic that it sneaks in quietly, but it hits hard. And, man, I remember doing this on the beginning of my journey. I constantly hear a lot of women doing this along their journey, coached women through this type of topic along their own personal journeys.

03:15And we do it not even just in fitness. We do it in a lot of areas of our life. And that's comparison because let's be honest, you guys, like, you know, we've all experienced it. You're scrolling on IG and boom, like there's someone's transformation photo or someone looks really pretty or their abs are popping or they're showing their macros or they're showing their whole weight loss story. And suddenly, you know, you're not feeling so great about your own progress. Does that sound familiar? Right? Like, we've all been there and we're going to go there today.

03:46I want to just hold space with this topic for you guys because here's the truth. The comparison is literally the thief of all joy. It is the thief of all of your own personal progress. And if it makes you feel like you're not doing enough, like your pace is too slow or like maybe you're not even cut out for going on your own fitness journey or you're not cut out for losing weight or you're not cut out for looking a certain way. That you imagine that you think you could look like. I want this episode to help you guys know that how to just like basically not don't let comparison rob you of your own personal journey.

04:23So in this episode, I want to talk about like why comparison is so common, especially for women. Like, man, like we deserve a trophy for this because we do it so freaking well. How it's like quietly sabotaging your own motivation. Maybe, you know, maybe you're not feeling motivated, but maybe it's because the night before you were scrolling and seeing all of these like, you know, transformation posts or you're listening to people's stories. And like you just feel like there's a little subtle voices going on inside of your own brain. You may not even recognize or telling you like you're not cut out for this. I want to talk about like the mindset shift that's going to hopefully help free you from it and how to use like your own inspiration or inspiration in general without turning it into like insecurity.

05:05All right. So let's get into it. I hope you guys enjoy this episode today. Basically, how I want to start this off is like call for what it is. Like we live in a highlight real culture. Like let's just sink in like that's literally what we live in. Like we're constantly seeing the after photos. We're constantly seeing like the aesthetic pictures, the aesthetics of the meals. We're seeing the scale drops. We're seeing the strength PR is like. But what we're not seeing and what I wish social media did better with this.

05:40We're not seeing the years and years of hard work, the struggles, the plateaus, the like I'm going to give up, the doubt, the discipline that that person had to go through to get there. Like not many people wake up in the morning and they're like first thing in the morning, let me open up Instagram and be like, yo, bro, I do not feel like doing this today, but I'm going to go do it. You know, like you see the after of it all. You see the winds. You see the transformations. And I feel like this is like a trap because when you compare your current reality to someone else's like curated moment, you end up feeling like you're not enough or you're not doing enough or you are so behind and you have so much work to do or you're failing.

06:28And that feeling, whether you recognize it or not, if you can see it for what it is, it kills your momentum because you either push yourself too hard trying to catch up or you just stop like all together because it feels it feels pointless. It feels like why am I even doing this? Here's what I want you guys to remember. You're not behind. You're just on a different timeline than the people that you're seeing on Instagram that are maybe showing all of these after photos.

07:04You are on your own journey. Okay. And let's talk about like what comparison actually does like beneath the surface, right? Like how I just said that you may not realize how it's killing your momentum, but that the feelings that you feel when you see these curated moments and your comparison, comparing your current reality to do it, the insecurities of I'm behind, I'm not enough, I'm failing, I can't do this or whatever it is that pops up. Like what actually is happening beneath the surface, it's so much deeper than just like a moment of insecurity.

07:39First and foremost, it 1000% steals your joy. Like let's say that you are looking at all these curated moments, but the day before, like you hit a personal win. Maybe you like nailed your macros. Maybe you crushed your workout. Or maybe you're just fine. You're finally feeling confident in your jeans and maybe you've gone down a pant size or someone commented to you the other day because they saw like back muscles. I don't know, whatever it is, but like you had a win.

08:11And suddenly it doesn't feel like enough when you see someone else doing better. That is literally robbing you of all of your joy on your own personal journey, on your own timeline. Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

08:42And then the second thing that they can do is that it can cloud your vision. You stop focusing on your goals and you start chasing someone else's version of success. And then you wonder why nothing's clicking. You see this person post this workout that she did and then you see the body that she has. You're like, oh, I should be doing this type of workout instead rather than doing whatever I have programmed for myself right now that are my goals. These are the things that are happening deeper that you may not even realize are happening because you just may not be attuned to that way.

09:15And that's okay. But I want to pull it out of that's what I want to do with this episode. Like pull it to the surface. Be like, damn, I actually was sitting on the couch last week and that's exactly what was happening. That's the exact feeling I was experiencing. And I want you to know that's okay. But also there's a way to shift that. That's what we're going to get in a second. But the last thing I can do is it creates self-doubt. Like you start questioning everything. You start questioning, am I doing should I be doing this workout? Am I doing this right? Am I eating enough? Should I be eating what she's eating?

09:46Should I be doing glutes and shoulders three times a week? Maybe I'm just not built for this. Like it creates this ripple effect of thoughts that then go into emotions, that then go into feelings, and then they go into actions, and then they keep you feeling stuck. Like that self-doubt, it's not coming from a lack of results. It's coming from measuring yourself against someone else's results. So how do you shift out of comparison? And how do you shift back into your own personal confidence?

10:17And here it is. Here's what you do. You stay in your own damn lane, my friend. You stay in your own damn lane. You have to stop measuring your success with someone else's ruler. That's not fair to you. You are on your own timeline. You are on your own journey. You are where you are supposed to be right now in this moment, in this current reality. Everything that you are working towards, hitting your macros, eating the food that you should be eating based off of the plan that you are following for you is exactly where you should be right now in this moment on your own journey.

11:00Not, and I'm saying this not in comparison to somebody else. So here's a mindset shift. Their progress doesn't take away from yours. Their timeline is not your timeline. Their journey has nothing to do with your own personal worth. You don't need to catch up. You don't need to commit differently. You need to commit to showing up for you, for your goals, for your health, for your energy, for your strength, for the vision that you are going towards for you.

11:31Not them. You. Because your results will only come when you stop looking sideways and start looking directly at you. Start locking in on yourself. Looking directly at yourself. That is all you need. The plans that you are following, if you're working with a coach, are made specifically for you. The things that you see on Instagram, they're made specifically for them. And let me, like, remind you of the things that you maybe see on Instagram. That person may not be hitting their macros 100%.

12:02But do they share that? Probably not. I don't think there's one fitness influencer that literally, like, updates on a daily basis. And if I'm wrong, DM me, please. I would totally love to follow this person. Because that person should be following more. Because they're real raw and they're showing it all. Oh, that was a good line. But, like, if there is somebody out there that's, like, popping up every single day. Being like, I hit my macros 100%. And I did my workout today. And I am flying on rainbows.

12:34Like, let me meet that person. Because that's literally what social media is. Everybody's flying on rainbows. Nobody's showing the struggle. Nobody's showing the grit. No one's showing the plateaus or the times where they wanted to give up. Or the times where they didn't even want to go to the gym. But they ended up at the gym anyway. Like, there's, well, there's probably people showing that. But you get my point right there. The whole overall conversation of this entire podcast is just don't compare yourself to somebody else. Because don't get me wrong. Like, inspiration is extremely powerful.

13:05Like, seeing what's possible is motivating as hell. But when inspiration turns into insecurity, that's when we have a problem. Like, if everything I was saying earlier about how it steals joy and you're comparing yourself to someone else's own timeline. And it's clouding your own vision. And it's creating these insecurities. If that was, like, triggering you in your mind, then you need to understand that. Then that's a problem. And that's okay. It's different when you look at a photo and be like, damn, she put a lot of work in and I can do the same thing.

13:38That's inspiration. Somebody else has done it. Then I can do it too as well. So, here's how I would recommend staying inspired without spiraling. Staying inspired, spiraled. Oh, my gosh. Say that 10 times fast. Stay inspired without spiraling. One, I would say follow people that, again, like I just said, follow people that show the whole journey. Not just like the highlight reel. Like, if you guys know this and someone does actually show up like that 100%, please send me their Instagram page.

14:09I would love to follow them and I would love to get them on here to have this type of conversation. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel like you're small or you're not doing enough or makes you feel these types of insecurities. Like, you're anxious, you're defeated or whatever. Like, that is only going to add to more of the insecurity along your fitness journey. And finding somebody who's actually being real raw and honest with you on their journey is the person that you want to follow because you're going to realize, hey, I'm not alone. And you're going to feel like you have somebody, like, in your corner, even if they're an Instagram person.

14:42Like, I do my best to show you guys the real raw and honest of everything that I do on social media. And that lets you guys know that, hey, like, Nikki didn't feel like going to the gym today, but she did. And I'm kind of feeling the same way. And if I do, I'm going to feel way better. Like, we're a team, right? That's how it feels. So, like, curate your environment. Follow people that show the whole journey and unfollow people that don't and make you feel like you're not enough. Unfollow those people quick. Like, spend the weekend doing that. Another thing to do to be inspired without spiraling is to use their success as evidence, not pressure.

15:16So, like, what I just said, if she did it, it means you can do it too. But in your own way and at your own pace. Like, I remember when I first started my journey over 10 years ago, there were so many. It was still, like, this highlight real culture has been on for going for years now. And that's what I saw on Instagram. I was really inspired by women's physiques. And I was like, dang. But I was inspired. Like, I didn't. There was points. And don't get me wrong. Like, I've experienced the comparison thief of all joy and X, Y, and Z, especially when I was in bodybuilding.

15:49Oh, my gosh. Really, really bad. When I was getting closer and closer to show, I would go to all of their Instagram, knowing who was going to be on stage with me. And I know y'all have been there in the same boat as me if you competed. I'm just being honest with you guys. I would go to their Instagram pages and I would look at the women that I was competing against. I would compare myself to them. But if you can look at it in the way, like, instead of being, as I'm saying, being inspired, like, if she did it, it means that you can too. But know that, hey, you can do it in your own way, on your own time, at your own pace.

16:23Because it is your own timeline. It is your own personal journey. And then most importantly, what you guys can, what I find has been, like, one of the biggest successes with being just, like, really grateful for my own personal journey is that you celebrate others while staying focused on you. Like, when you see that person online that's winning and they're having the transformation, they're sharing the story, clap for her. And then keep working for you. Because someone else's win doesn't mean that you're losing. It means, again, that you're doing it your own way and you're on your own pace.

16:55And you're going to get to where you want to be in time. It's just your timeline is different than the other person. Okay? So let me say this, like, as clearly as I possibly can. You are not behind. You're just in progress. And progress doesn't need to be flashy. It doesn't need to be, like, look at me to be powerful. So if you're someone who's, like, been caught in the scroll and the dooms of scrolling and, like, downing yourself and feeling all the types of ways that you're not enough, thinking that you should be further along, this is your reminder to stay in your own lane.

17:36You are enough. You are not broken. Whatever you're feeling is your fault if you feel like there's, like, guilt attached to it. You are on your own timeline. And comparison is a distraction from your own power. So drop it. Drop it. Refocus. Keep going. That's all I got for you in this episode because I feel like it was short and sweet and to the point. Run your own race.

18:07That's all I got to say. Like, run your own race. Like, there's nowhere that you need to be tomorrow. Nowhere you need to be next week. Nowhere you need to be in three months. Even if summer is coming up, guys, like, it's your own. You don't need to crash diet. You don't need to, like, do things quickly and faster. Like, just do it at your own pace. It's going to be way more sustainable and way more enjoyable at that. More importantly, the takeaway from this episode is, like, when you are scrolling, because we all do it, just watch how you feel while you're doing it. Be more attuned to softening into the emotions that you may not feel as empowering.

18:42If it doesn't feel empowering, stop scrolling and unfollow the person that made you feel that way. And start following people that are, you know, that you feel like you can celebrate them. You can cheer them on. You can be inspired by them. Okay? So, if this episode hit home for you guys, please send it to a friend. Screenshot it. Tag me on social media. Let me know what, like, specifically resonated with you guys the most in this episode. And if you guys are finally ready to, like, build that kind of progress that actually really sticks without trying to keep up with everyone else, come join us inside of Warrior Babe.

19:17Go check out warriorbabe.com or click the links in my description below this podcast episode. All right, you guys. Until next time. Stay in your own damn lane, my friend. And trust it. Trust that you're on the right path and your time is coming. All right? I love you all. And I'll see you in the next episode. Peace out. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it. And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation.

19:54Thank you so, so, so much for your support.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.