Why Losing More Weight Won't Make You Toned After 40

00:00If you are in the goal of wanting to be toned, that number on the scale may possibly go up. If you want to build shoulders, if you want to build your glutes, if you want to have defined legs, if you want to have and create definition in your back, fat loss is what's going to reveal that muscle, but fat loss cannot create muscle. Building significant muscle is really freaking hard to do. I wish it happened as easily as women think it does, but you don't accidentally wake up one morning insanely jacked because you started using heavier dumbbells.

00:41What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkie Stott. And on these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. My friends, I think I got a good episode for you guys today because what I'm seeing on social media and all of these trends that are making their way back, I just need to squash it and I need to squash it fast. Like, skinny is still trending out there and then this word toned is like resurfacing back.

01:19And a lot of women are like, I want to be toned and I want to look toned, but they're doing these strategies that aren't going to get them to that type of physique. Like, I'm hearing I want to tone up, but I don't want to get too bulky. I want my arms to look more toned. I want my legs to look more toned. I want my abs to be more toned. I want to lose weight and I want to tone up and listen, like, I know exactly what you mean when you say that. I get that you want shape. You want definition. You want to be leaner.

01:49You want to look more athletic. You want your shoulders to pop a little bit more. You want to see like the definitions and like the lines. You want your legs to have shape. You want your glutes to feel like they look like they're lifted. Like, I get it. But what I need you guys to understand when you are saying that or if you're seeing this like on social media with a lot of women claiming that this is the look that they want. You cannot tone a muscle that you haven't built because what quote unquote toning isn't actually something that you're like.

02:23You can't tone a muscle if a muscle isn't there. That's what I mean. Like muscles can grow. Muscles can shrink. You can gain body fat. You can lose body fat. And the combination of how much muscle that you have underneath of your body fat and how much body fat that you're carrying is largely what creates the look that women describe as toned. And so if you've spent 10, 15, 20, 25, multiple decades of years trying to get to this more like smaller, skinnier, toned look and you're still like chasing that toned body, we need to start having a completely different conversation here.

03:05And that's what I hope to have with you guys here today. Because as I've said it in previous podcasts, you may not have a fat loss problem. So like you could be somebody that doesn't really need like this is specifically specifically talking to the women that have 10 or 5 pounds that they need to lose. Maybe even 15. And they're chasing that. Like they're like I need to lose fat. But I want to look more toned. Right. Like that's the woman I'm kind of speaking to here. You may not have that fat loss problem. Right. At this point. Like maybe you've lost the weight.

03:37Or even those of you that have 50 pounds, 60 pounds, 70 pounds to lose. You have to lose that weight. But at the same time, there's going to be a part in your journey where you can no longer afford to lose more weight. You have to start building muscle. So you may be at that like crossroad where, okay, I have 5, 10 more pounds to lose. But do you really have that problem? Or do you have that muscle building problem is what I want to try and get at. Like I want you to think about the body that you're trying to create.

04:07Because this is where I feel like a lot of women get stuck. Like when a lot of women say, I want more defined arms. Okay. I hear you. What's think about this? Like what is creating that definition? Muscle. Or I want to have capped shoulders like you. Or I want rounded shoulders. I want to create that definition. What is creating that? Muscle. I want my legs to look more aesthetic or athletic. Or my arms to look more athletic.

04:37Or my arms, my biceps to be more toned. What's creating that? Muscle. Almost every single physical characteristic that women rattle off and describe when they tell me that they want to look more toned requires one thing. It requires you having enough muscle underneath of that body fat to actually create that shape. Does that make sense? Like you can't, like I said, you can't tone a muscle that you don't have.

05:09So if you are somebody that is chasing skinny or chasing to be smaller, there will be a point in your journey where you just become a smaller, skinnier, fatter version of yourself. I've been there. Done that. That was my challenge 12 years ago. And my cause of a lot of frustration and a lot of confusion and a lot of overwhelm. Because I'm sure I was in the position where a lot of you women are right now where you're seeing all these trends and all these things over social media.

05:39And it can be so overwhelming on what to actually do. Because they all tell you to do something different in hopes that you're going to get to the type of goal that you want to get to. And the two different strategies are like a lot of people I've talked about before. Either there's a weight loss that you need to go and focus on losing the weight, right? But then there's the fat loss strategy, which is more of the making sure that you're eating enough to build or preserve lean muscle, which is going to decrease the body fat. Around the muscle, it's going to reveal more of the muscle that you either need to build or that you have underneath of the body fat.

06:15It just isn't showing yet. And so every characteristic that I just rattled off, you need, if you want to be toned, you have to have, just what I said, you have to have enough muscle underneath of that body fat to actually create the shape that you are seeking. But yet, what have women been taught to do, which has caused a lot of confusion and overwhelm because the industry points women to do when they like to lose weight or to lose, to eat less or to do more cardio or to get that number on the scale down.

06:52I'll be the first one to tell you, if you are in the business of wanting to be, if you are in the goal of wanting to be toned, that number on the scale may possibly go up. I started my journey at 140 pounds. I now am at my journey. I'm 155 pounds. I've gained 15 pounds in my journey over the decade. A lot of women would derail themselves if they even went up two or three pounds. So I hope, I'm just painting a picture here that if you do go up two or three pounds along your journey, please don't let that get in the way of you being successful and the outcome that you want to get to, which is being more toned, because it's going to happen.

07:33And then if you're on the journey of trying to get that scale down, and then when you finally reach the number that you thought that would give you, like, that dream body, and it doesn't, you're disappointed. But you're smaller, but you're disappointed. You're more of that, like, skinny fat version that you, that you, right? And, like, it's not, it's not your fault. It's what this industry is telling you to do, because I remember I felt the same confusion. I've been like, wait, I'm doing these things. I'm going in and I'm doing more cardio. I signed up for three half marathons that first year of me and my journey, and I was eating less.

08:06And I still wasn't where I wanted to be with what I thought of where I would be. Right? These things don't give you the shape that you wanted. And then you think, well, okay, well, I guess that I just, if you get to that skinny fat, you're like, oh, well, maybe I just need to lose another three pounds. But maybe not. Maybe losing another five pounds is taking you further away from what you actually want. Like I just said, like, because that scale may go up. And because if there isn't enough muscle underneath of it, then there's nothing there to reveal.

08:38And that's why I think that, like, this is something in which more women understood. To put it into context for you, right? If I, there's images on my social media of me at the starting of my weight being 140 pounds and then where I am now. And this is where two women can have the same weight, right? If I was to put 140 pounds now next to me being 140 pounds, if I was to lose the 15 pounds, I would be on the stage ready lean. Right? But let's say that you put me next to somebody else that is 155 pounds.

09:12We could be the same weight yet look completely different. And that's what I wish a lot of women understood more. You can take that same height and same body weight and we both could literally step on the scale. We'd be the exact same number, but our bodies would look dramatically different. Why? Because of our body composition. I would have way more significantly more lean mass, developed shoulders, lean abs, definition through my back, muscle in my legs.

09:42Because my body is shape, right? Where the other woman might have less muscle but a higher percentage of body fat. But we're the same exact weight. Completely different physique. This is why I keep telling women that the scale does not tell you what your body is made up of. And that matters. Because that number on the scale is not telling you how much weight the contribution to your muscle actually is. It's not telling you how much water weight you have in your body that day. It's not depicting what time of your cycle it is in the month. And all of that matters.

10:14Because if your entire strategy is based around making yourself be smaller and be a smaller number on the scale, then you might actually be sacrificing the very muscle tissue that is going to give you the exact look that you want. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat, and feel confident.

10:46Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. This is where I see people on this hamster wheel. Like this pattern I see all the time. A woman decides that she wants to tone up. Usually this is typically right around like March or April because we've got summer around the corner. And so she starts dieting. She brings her calories down. She starts getting outside because it's warmer and doing more cardio. Maybe, you know, doing a 5K every morning when she wakes up. Maybe she's doing some type of strength training, but she's still thinking about like her workouts primarily the way that she can burn calories.

11:19And so she loses maybe 10 pounds, but she looks smaller. And she's not seeing the definition that she expected by doing as much as she's doing. And so when this happens, typically then she cuts more. She cuts more calories and then she adds in more cardio. And then she maybe loses another 5 pounds, but she still doesn't have that shape that she wants. Now she's very frustrated. I'm like literally speaking from existence here right now.

11:49And I'm sure there's so many people of you guys listening to this episode that are resonating with it or know somebody in your circle that is doing this. And you're frustrated. She's frustrated. I was frustrated back then. And now we're thinking, okay, how much smaller do I have to get? Which is a trend right now. Trend to get skinny. Can we stop this trend and try to get focused on being stronger? And because like my answer to that question would be like, if someone's like, well, how much more weight can I lose? You don't. You don't have to lose any more weight.

12:21You might need to stop trying to become that smaller version of you and start trying to become more muscular. And I know that that term scares so many women because the second that they say, I say or hear more muscular, there's this image that starts coming on people's brains that looks completely different than what I'm actually talking about. I'm not telling you that you need to be like a competitive bodybuilder. I'm not telling you that you need to step on stage. I'm not telling you to be like gain massive amounts of muscle.

12:53I'm telling you that if you want shoulders, if you want to build shoulders, if you want to build your glutes, if you want to have defined legs, if you want to have and create definition in your back, fat loss is what's going to reveal that muscle, like I said. But fat loss cannot create muscle. And that's the distinction that I need you to understand. Like, and that's why I'm saying like you probably don't have a fat, you don't have a fat loss problem anymore at this point. If you're at that crossroad, you have a muscle building problem.

13:24So think about it like this. Think about like, think about a sculpture. And imagine that you're sculpting something. And you're removing the material. Like you're constantly removing, removing, removing. But eventually there has to be something underneath worth revealing to you, right? That's what happens with your physique. Fat loss is revealing. I used to say all the time to our warrior babes that if you go through the muscle building process first, where you may gain some weight and you're obviously going to eat more food because fuel is the energy which provides you the ability to build the muscle.

14:00Then once we go into decreasing your calories and your macronutrients, it's like Christmas morning. You're starting to, you're in this appropriate fat loss to start revealing the muscle. But if there's event, if there's nothing underneath it worth revealing, what has to happen is the creation process and muscle building is the creating. Those are two completely different processes of which I just kind of explained. And like one is you have to eat the calories, you have to eat the food,

14:31you have to build the muscle. The other process is you are revealing it. Two different strategies. So there's a strategy. I talked about the difference between weight loss and fat loss. There's also a different strategy from fat loss to muscle building. And women have been spending decades obsessed with the revealing aspect of it, the fat loss aspect of it, without barely putting time and energy and investment and being intentional with the creating part.

15:02And that's why I want you to like, instead of like challenge yourself with the question, instead of like how much more weight do I need to lose? Okay, ask yourself, well, have I actually built enough muscle to create the body that I want, that I'm trying to like work so hard to like show off and to reveal? That if you like, if you just ask yourself that right now, if you are, if you know you are somebody that needs to build a little bit more muscle, I'm not asking you again to be competitive bodybuilder. I'm not asking you to put butt loads of muscle mass on.

15:33But if you could answer that honestly, then that question, that answer could completely change your strategy. Because then maybe the next six months shouldn't be about you chasing how many, how many calories you can burn and how much more you can cut from your day of eating and focusing on eating less. Maybe the next six months is about you building. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause?

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16:35don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. And for those of you guys that are like, well, okay, like maybe I didn't, if you're thinking about, I'm afraid I'm going to get bulky.

17:06Let me just have a conversation with you about that. Because whenever I start telling women that they need more muscle, I know some of you guys are thinking that and you're afraid of it. And I get it. That's fair. There's a lot of things online on social media that there's a lot of muscular women out there. And there's a lot of muscular women. I mean, the first thing that I looked at was my goal was based off bodybuilders. And that's how I got into the bodybuilding world, because I felt like that was the way that I was going to get my dream body. Is it a path to take?

17:38Yes. But somebody at the gym, even the other day was like, oh, do you compete? And I was like, yeah, I used to. And then they asked me, oh, when was your last show? And I go, 2018. And they look at me and they're like, oh, wow, you've really maintained your body. So that is the pathway that I know 95% of you guys want to take. Not everybody wants to be a competitive bodybuilder. So when I hear you say, I don't want to get too bulky. I understand that. But let me tell you something. Doing that and what you see online with the competitive bodybuilders and people in that space,

18:13that is really hard. Building significant muscle is really freaking hard to do. I wish it happened as easily as women think it does. But you don't accidentally wake up one morning, insanely jacked because you started using heavier dumbbells. Building muscle requires you to do progressive overload training and to eat enough nutrition, which majority of women don't do to begin with. And then it requires you to have really good recovery,

18:43which again, a lot of women don't do. People are training six to seven days a week. So you get what I'm saying? And you have to have consistency and you have to have time. Like, like, I mean, like years. And so this is like, this is why I want women to stop being afraid of it. Because the amount of muscle that you're picturing when you say bulky, isn't something you're accidentally going to acquire from you going in and lifting weights three or four times a week. And then the ironic part is that the physique that you're showing me that you say you want,

19:17like I want to look like this, that woman probably has more muscle than you think she does. Like, the shape that you're admiring, that like the shoulders, the legs, all of that is requiring you to build muscle. Part of what makes someone's like waist look like it's smaller, which a lot of women want to have, is because she has muscle developed around it. Because the shoulder, the back, the glutes, like it's all working, it's creating these proportions. So you keep asking for the outcome while being afraid of the thing required to create it.

19:52And that's why I want you guys to stop being afraid. And this whole narrative, like, especially too, if you are absorbed in the social media space, and you're hearing, I don't want to get bulky, I don't want to go, and you're like, well, me too, I don't want to get bulky. But just, I challenge you to be like, well, what does that actually mean? Because when you understand what it actually means, like I'm explaining it to you, it's really freaking hard to do. But if you want the outcome, like you, you gotta let that fear go. Because it's not going to happen to you. And then,

20:23one other thing that drives me nuts, and I just want this one to like, be dead, is, for years, women were told that, lightweights are going to make you toned. So, people are picking up the five pound pink little dumbbells, and they're doing these like, arm lateral raises, you know, and they're hoping that that's going to create that tone physique that they want. There isn't a special like toning adaptation that your muscles make because you picked up those pink dumbbells, and they're five pounds.

20:54The thing is, and that you know that I've said over and over and over again, your muscles respond to tension, they adapt over time, they respond to being challenged. You can absolutely build muscle across a range of reps. But, what's actually going to be the challenging enough stimulus to create it, the meaningful stimulus, is the amount of sets that you are doing, with the amount of weight that is on the bar progressing over time.

21:25And that's where like, and also like, if you're doing 20 reps with a weight that you could have done for 45, then we're probably not accomplishing what you think we're accomplishing. Like, if you can pick up heavier weights, and that's like where a lot of women just kind of go in, they do the motions, and they're getting comfortable with the effort that they're putting out. Dude, your muscles need a reason to adapt, my friends. So, if your body has easily been able to handle what you're asking it to do, with those five pound pink dumbbells,

21:56or with the effort that you're putting out in the gym, why is it going to, it's not going to build more muscle for you. You have to invest in progressive overload. You need enough training volume. You need to push yourself to a really challenging rep range at the end of a set, where you're almost at the point of failure. Like, wow, you got done that. Like, the last three reps in a set are extremely challenging for you. And most importantly, you need that recovery, because you're not going to build muscle inside of the gym.

22:30You're going to build muscle in the 24 to 48 hours outside of the gym. You break down muscle in the gym, you build it outside of it. Okay? And you need, you need enough time, like consistency, enough, long enough for change to actually happen to your body. Not two weeks. Not until you have a wedding or vacation, like long enough for your body. And that's why I mean actually years. Not, not until the scale, like goes up two pounds and you panic and you turn around. That's, this is hamster wheel.

23:01You got to be, you got to let yourself lean into the uncomfortable aspects of building and changing your body composition. Because every single one of you wants that outcome. It's going to challenge you to think differently. And one of those is that scale. Like I said, it's, it may go up because some of you guys are conditioned to believe, and this is a big mindset shift, a big mindset shift. So I don't want to like discredit it or not discredit it, but like downplay it. Like I understand it because we've all been conditioned to believe the scale goes down.

23:33Good. The scale goes up bad. And if your goal isn't weight loss anymore, what if your goal is body composition? Okay. Then it requires you to, to look at progress differently. And so you could weigh more, but you could look leaner. And I know that that sounds so backwards. If you spent your entire life measuring success through the scale. But again, that's what I would ask yourself to be aware of. What is that weight made of? If over time you build more muscle and you improve your body composition, the number on the scale may not tell you the full story.

24:04You think it does. But what will tell you is that your clothes fit differently. Your measurements will change. Your shape is going to change. You're going to have more definition. You're going to have that tone look that you want. And so when someone tells me that I just want to lose 15 pounds, I'm like, well, why? Why do you want to lose 15 pounds? Like, what do you think that is waiting for you at the other side of that number? Because maybe you're actually describing as an weight. It's the body composition that you want. So sometimes when I ask people about their weight,

24:36I'm like, I asked that question and it's typically while we, we, we gravitate towards, well, I just want to be more lean and be more defined. Drastically different approach. They're not the same goal. So if there's anything that I can say with this podcast for you guys is maybe some of you guys need to build muscle first and reveal it second. And that's the easiest way that I can explain it. You don't have to constantly be in this. I need to lose fat phase or I need to be in a cup phase. In fact, probably like when people come into war,

25:07when women come into warrior, babe, majority of y'all don't need to be in a fat loss phase. You probably shouldn't be. There are seasons where the goal is building. There are seasons where the goal is maintaining. And there are seasons where the goal is to lose body fat. But if you're constantly trying to lose that body fat or that weight year round, you're never giving yourself a real opportunity to build that tissue, that muscle tissue that is going to change your overall body composition, which is what so many women want.

25:39And this is where it's funny. Like when, when I was on a warrior babe community call, I told them that I was going to pray over them for patients. And everyone's like, you should never pray for patients. But I'm like, that is a whole, because then you'll be really tested. But that is the whole reason why I want to pray over you guys for patients. Because this is where patients comes into play. And if you are being tested in it, that means you need to rely more on developing that type of patient's muscle. Because fat loss can happen relatively quickly, right?

26:10But, but muscle building, that, that, that aspect, it's much slower. And it makes it harder psychologically. Like you might train for weeks without seeing something dramatic happen, which a lot of people are used to seeing when it comes to weight loss. But the caveat and the payoff is, you are getting stronger. Your technique is improving. You're doing progressive overload. You're, you're, there's, there's things that, even though you may not be able to tangibly see the changes, there are changes happening. And then month after month,

26:42when you eventually look back and you, and you should be taking progress pictures along this time. Cause again, that scale is not going to tell you the full story. You're going to be like, holy crap. My shoulders look completely different. My shape has improved. My back is definition. You're got some majority of women will see from the top down. You ever notice how people are like, wow, you're, are you losing weight? Cause your face looks different. Yeah. You start literally losing weight from the top down. So then you're going to start seeing your shoulders get defined. Your biceps get defined. And that's why some people get impatient because the belly isn't happening.

27:13But I promise you over time, it will, you're building muscle. This isn't built in a, in a 30 day period. And it's not built in this 30 day, 60 day challenge. So the next time you catch yourself saying like, well, I just want to tone up. Can you please just translate it to saying like, I want more muscle development. And I want less body fat. So I can see the shape that I've built. Or if you need to build the shape again, remember that you have to go through the season of building.

27:44And once you understand that everything can change for you, the goal won't just be about weight loss. It won't be about fat loss. It won't be about how many, where how many calories is this workout building? Your goal is to make yourself be strong and to build muscle. It's not going to be, how can I be as small as possible? It's for you to reveal the muscle that you are building. So you have to create the muscle and the fat loss will reveal it. Or if you do have muscle underneath of the fat, then the fat loss will reveal it.

28:14And the muscle will, the muscles will create that look. And you cannot reveal something that you never took the time to build. So please make sure you're lifting the weights. Make sure you're challenging yourself. Make sure you're fueling yourself. Make sure you're eating enough protein. Make sure you're recovering properly. Make sure you're tracking your progress other than just the scale. And stop being afraid of building that muscle. Stop being afraid of, I'm going to be too bulky. If there are those things that you are following on social media that are saying those things,

28:45unfollow them. Because you're not supporting your, the narrative in your mind towards your goal. And if you see yourself following somebody and you're like, wow, that person's way too big and she's bulky, unfollow them. Because that person may be doing something in her life that you don't necessarily, you won't necessarily be doing in yours on your journey. Okay. The toned body you've been chasing, it is, it has been muscle this whole entire time. Period. All right, guys. Love y'all. And I'll see you in the next episode.

29:16Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference. Helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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