Why Motivation Keeps Failing You After 40 (5 Fixes)

00:00It's one of the truest tests of discipline that exists, in my opinion, because it requires you to override the impulse to truly self-discipline. Like, I mean that, like literally. It's amazing. You think that you're like, I got this. Like, I've been doing this for years. And then you still hear something like that. And you're like, no, I needed to hear that. You're going to have doubt. You're going to have those feelings of, I am not where I should be. We got Jana over here. She's lost 20 pounds in the last three months. We start comparing ourselves. We go to pretty dark places. And none of those feelings, none of them are going to give you the results you're looking for.

00:34And I am here to say this with my full heart. Gratitude is the antidote for that. What's going on, Warrior Babes? Hey, everybody. For those of you guys that are here tonight, which is 400, almost 500 of you, thank you guys for showing up in August, in the depths of summer, when I'm sure that you guys have tons of stuff going on right now, right? So I just want to applaud you guys for being here, because being here and showing up live

01:06just makes the things that we talk about, the energy can be conveyed stronger. The things that we talk about just land harder. So it just brings you into this moment here right now, rather than like, you know, I've been notorious for watching recordings of something. And, you know, I'm watching it while I'm driving. And like, I have to pause it and like go back 10 seconds and then go back 20 seconds. And then like, I find myself, you know, out in space and I have to rewind it a whole two minutes. So like being here in the moment is extremely valuable to you guys and to your journey.

01:40I know some of you guys catch the recordings, but it's just something different about showing up. And I think tonight it's going to be short and quick, but it's going to be extremely effective on what me and Maggie want to talk to you guys tonight. You guys know that we like to lean in a little bit more to the mental side of things, to the mindset side of things, to something that we honestly believe matters. You guys know I say nutrition is king, exercise is queen. But like, what would make, like mindset has to be like above those two things.

02:14Because if mindset ain't right, then the nutrition isn't going to be nutritioning and the exercising isn't going to be exercising, if that makes sense. Like your mindset's got to be right on point in order for those two things to work. And that's why I think tonight we're going to lean into talking to you guys about self-discipline. And before like you guys think that you may already know this, just stay with me because I'll take this, you know, a lot of social media has been going off saying you don't need more

02:46discipline. You don't need to lean into this category. I would, I thought for a second that I leaned too hard in the discipline thing with you guys years ago. And I need to be a little bit softer. But I've been like checked on that myself because I firmly believe in this skill that if you don't develop this skill, things will be a lot harder for you and for your journey moving forward when it comes to nutrition and when it comes to exercising. And it is, I believe, like it's, it is genuinely a skill.

03:17So I don't want you to get off this call tonight and be like, I hope that I wake up with more self-discipline because of the call that Nikki and Maggie had. That's not going to happen. But what I can promise you is that if you lean into the things that we're going to talk about tonight, over time, it will be developed. And for some of you guys being to year two or year three inside this journey, you've built self-discipline. So some of this will probably be a little bit of a reminder, like, you know, maybe a wake up call if you find yourself backing off a little bit in this realm. And for some of you guys that are newer, I hope, we hope that this lands for you because

03:49this can be genuinely something that is a game changer for you long term. So I say this to, for you to get out a pen and paper, write things down. I want you to take notes on everything Maggie and I are going to talk about and cover tonight because we want you to implement it. We want you to implement it starting tomorrow because the more that you guys do that, the more you're going to develop this kind of mindset over time. Um, and I want you, and this is like, if you're a VIP, like I can say to you guys winners, like you guys have that like winners mindset.

04:19Um, so this is going to help you just feed more of that winners mindset. Like, cause a lot of you guys are already winners. I just, I think that this will help you give more credit to yourself, um, with developing this type of skillset over time. All right. And I want to, I want you to hear this personally from me because like, as I just said, like for me, discipline in my journey at the beginning of it was everything that I had to lean on. And when I got a little soft in like the last like couple of years about, oh, maybe it's not discipline. You know, maybe some people need to be a little bit more empathetic with it.

04:50Maggie does a really good job being more empathetic. I do a really good job of just like giving you guys like the straightforward, no BS direct type of like love. Right. You guys can agree with me on that. Right. Maggie. I think we can both agree on that. Like you are very like, let me hug and like be your best friend. I'm like, I'm going to be the tough sister. That's going to lean into you guys. Um, and, and, and we, we, we, that's why me and Maggie work so well together. Uh, but I'll say this when I, when it was the start of my, like 99% of the reason why I

05:22am successful in, in the journey. And I'm sure Maggie can also agree with this and why have, why like in what I've experienced my life is directly correlated to my ability to be able to act despite how I feel. Like I am not always motivated. You guys, I am not always fired up. I am not somebody that's like, well, I can't wait to get to the gym and I can't wait to get my workout in. Like I am not, I'll be the first one to tell you that is not me.

05:52There are some days where I don't want to do the thing. I do think that, first of all, I'm having a really hard time. Some of you guys know that I was on vacation last week. I was in PST time. I'm having a really hard time coming back to EST time. I don't know if y'all have experienced that, but it is a real thing that I'm struggling with. I'm waking up at like eight o'clock and I'm like, where is my day? Because when I was PST, I was waking up easily at 5am and I was 11. I was having no problem. So to do what I had to do yesterday, which was go to the gym, meal prep, uh, you know,

06:27get my life back on check. I did not want to do any of that, but I knew, and I didn't have disoriented because I just, the time is just, it's wild. The difference that I, that I, that I'm, that I, that like, you know, the disoriented feeling that I have from that. Um, but I didn't, despite how I, I knew that if I went to the gym, what I would feel better. And surely enough, I did after I got done the gym. And then I knew getting my meal prep done would set me up for the, for the, for the rest of

06:59the week. And once I was done, I was like, I feel so much better knowing that my whole week is now set up with the food that I, that I get to eat. It just, it just makes me feel like locked in. Right. But I don't, I'm not motivated to do those things, but I built the discipline to get the things done no matter what emotion I'm feeling in the moment. Like, it's like now, now being over a decade into it, I have the feeling, but I'm like, okay, let me act despite what I feel. And I want you guys to develop that type of motto. I'm going to act despite what I feel.

07:31I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid. Trust that I like, I don't, I did not, I know what that feels like to not want to do the thing. But the way I also, you know, think about it is like, if I don't do what I need to do I'm not going to get to where my goal is. Like if I did meal prep yesterday, today would have been a wash with my nutrition. So I want you guys to think of that act despite how you feel, because your feelings are always going to want to hold you back. And we're kind of going to get in this tonight, but they're always going to hold you back into

08:02like the old self or the old patterns of the old you. And that urge to want to go act anyway is like you developing that new emotion that's soon like an outride those old emotions. And we're going to dive into that tonight. Because you guys can't rely on you. I mean, some of you guys probably already know this, but you can't have you can't rely on your own motivation to go work out to hit your macros like it's going to ebb and flow. You guys have heard me say that before your motivation people always like I can't I just got to start when I'm motivated or like, when Monday comes around, I'll start again, because

08:32I'll be motivated the start of the week, your motivation is going to ebb and flow, your motivation is going that tank is going to run dry. And it will at the most inopportune worst times. Like you guys are fired out fired up at the start of a journey. You're fired up joining warrior, babe. But I'll tell you that motivation is going to wash out quick three months in. It's going to wash out quick six months in. And then this is why a lot of people this on the emotional side of why people quit. And then they wait for it to come back.

09:03I'll just wait till I'm motivated again. And so I want you guys to stop relying on that motivation feeling or stop relying on the feelings and just really start developing your self discipline muscle. Because discipline is like, think about this way, it's the ability to control your feelings and overcome your weaknesses. It's the ability to pursue what you know is right, despite the temptation to abandon it is the way that I could best put it, if I like being able to articulate it to you guys.

09:35Does that make sense? Like, it's you guys, it's the ability to pursue knowing what you have to do in order to get to your goal, which is workout, track your macros, get enough sleep, drink your water, those basic things, get your steps in, despite the temptation to abandon doing those things, which is typically your feelings of not being motivated. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I have long a day at work, feeling incompetent, feeling like I'm imposter syndrome, feeling like I'm scared to get into the weight room, right? Those are feelings that you're but it's like, okay, well, okay, I have this feeling of being

10:08nervous or scared to go into the weight room, but cool, can acknowledge it. But I'm going to still go act anyways. Does that make sense? Cool. So for today, we're going to talk about five specific strategies that I want you guys to write down. And the first one, I'm going to give you the bonus one out of the gate. It's consistency. So you guys can write that down like bonus one right at the top, right at the top of your page, consistency. And then we'll talk about the five. You guys know consistency is like it's what produces consistent results.

10:42You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be consistent. You guys know from Atomic Habits, if you've read that book, every single time that you've taken action towards your future self is a vote towards the future self that you are becoming. And if you are consistent majority of the time, you are going to win. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss,

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11:48That's WarriorBabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. If you are inconsistent, that inconsistent effort is going to produce inconsistent results. So if you're wondering why you're not seeing results, then I would ask yourself, honestly, am I being consistent? And I would just beg you to be really honest with that. Am I consistently, like, am I six, seven days of the week at least logging and paying attention to my food? And not only logging my pen, paying attention to my food, but I'm actually eating what I put

12:21into my logs. Like, I would be, am I, am I going and getting my workouts done? Am I, am I getting, am I being honest with the check marks inside of the app, right? Like being honest with yourself, um, because that's your gold, right? That's your self check. That's what's going to create that momentum that you're looking for to be consistent. Okay. So the first one that I, so consistency is the bonus one. The first one I want to talk about this first strategy is you guys resisting impulses. So what I mean by that, it's like this is specifically the urge to that this specifically urges that

12:59are not connected to the goals that you are going for. So like, let me explain it like this. We all have urges throughout the day and they are typically tiny and consistent ones or constant ones. Typically ones like, okay, uh, I just feel like a snack, even though like at the end of the day, even though your macros are done for the day, I just feel like a snack. Or outside of, of nutrition, this one may land hard for you guys. It's like, I just want to check social media. I want to look at my email for no reason, just because you like unlocked your phone.

13:34Or I have, uh, the kids have leftovers on their plate and I don't want to waste any food. It's just sitting there. So I'm going to eat my kids leftovers on their plate. Or like the impulse of like, uh, this is, I'm so notorious for this. When you go in and you have a peanut butter jar and you're weighing out your peanut butter and you're got it, you got the grams, right? 16 or 32 grams. And you're like, but I could just lick the rest of the speed of the spoon with the peanut butter. Like you've resisting that urge. Like you just go straight to the sink and run it underneath of the water and wash that

14:06spoon off. Right. Those are impulses I'm talking about now that, that, that what I'm saying, they feel small and individually they might be, but the habit of immediately reacting to every single one of them without a pause, without a choice is that what keeps you stuck, right? Like some of you guys would just go lick the spoon. Some of you guys, you, you do this whole thing on your phone. Some of you guys are like, oh man, I'm just a snack. And immediately you're already eating. So what I mean by that is like, you need to run the impulses, not let the impulses run

14:36you. So understanding what impulses are a little bit deeper is they're loops. They're trained loops too. Like your brain, your brain is wired. It's wired, it's wired certain cues to certain behaviors, right? I can go into the whole like, um, behave the cue trigger reward behavior, the whole loop that he talks about too in atomic habits. Uh, but your brain is wired this way. And, and typically that behavior happens automatically before your conscious mind can even wait in to

15:10help you decipher between the impulse. For example, I'm notorious for this as well. We all are. You look, you unlock your phone and you have this whole map is what I mean by you, you, you open it and you immediately do this whole course of action without deciding to like, you already have this whole, you open it, you open, unlock your phone, you open Instagram. And once you're done in Instagram, you open your email. Once you're done in your email, you open Facebook. It's this loop, the same order every single time.

15:40Have you guys done that? Yeah. You guys know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I'm guilty too. Yeah. I, and I'm speaking too far. Like I literally will do this probably on the couch after the today. It isn't a long day. Yeah. Playing games, right? Yeah. Chocolate after dinner. I mean, I can't wait to have my four pieces of Dove chocolate, but yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about. And it's a loop. And then 10 minutes later, you look up from your phone.

16:11You're like, holy cow. How did I get here? I just start scrolling in social media. And I had to remember that I had an email that I had to check. So what I'm saying here is resisting these impulses is a practice of resisting them. It's a practice of like inserting a pause between the cue and the behavior. Because that pause is where your choice lives. Like that next choice lives. So I hope that by the end of the week, you guys are going to catch this with your phone because that was pretty much the hard example that I gave you.

16:42And maybe you guys, your screen time will go down. The same thing happens when like, you know, you want a snack or you want to skip a set at the gym because of time and you're, you're short on time or something like that. Like, so when you feel the impulse, catch it, pay attention to it. And then decide, not react, decide. It's like, okay, I feel like checking social media. Pause. Not right now. Close the phone.

17:12Put the phone down. You're all rewarding. It is when it happens. It almost feels like I just gamified me, right? Where I feel like eating what's left on the plate. Nope. It's going to the trash. I'm not hungry. I'm not doing it, right? It's like, think about it as a game to yourself. And the more you practice this, the more the automatic the pauses become. And eventually, like you're going to, it, it's hard to completely wipe it out. And I wouldn't expect anybody to, because like I said, I'm so guilty of it, but you'll notice

17:46it get lesser and lesser and lesser over time. That is discipline. Eventually, when you catch the impulse before it can fully form, that is discipline. That is control. The ability to just catch yourself by saying, I don't feel like going to the gym right now, yet you still do it anyway, is, is the ability to react and decide rather than, uh, allowing the, this emotion to fully form and you don't end up going. That's discipline. Right? And it applies to like every area of your life.

18:19It applies to the phone. It applies to food. It applies to your time. It applies to literally every area. So I, what I would say too, to that is you're going to feel a lot of resistance when you want, when you go and make this change, embrace that resistance, recognize that reacting to every impulse, uh, you know, that you are creating and deciding to choose a better behavior from it. All right. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot. If you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone

18:54who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. The second one that I would lean into is loving the pain, learn to love the pain. And like this one, I'm deeply person, person. I feel deeply personal about, and I want it to, I don't want to be transparent with you guys because I think that it truly, truly matters.

19:24And I'm not talking about like loving the pain of an injury or loving the pain of like breaking a bone or like, I'm not talking about any of that. I mean like the physical exertion of pain, like the heart racing, the muscles burning, the sweat dripping, the moment that a set where like in a set where everything, you feel like you just want to stop and drop the weight. Like most people avoid that.

19:55I'll never forget this. When I started my fitness journey, I got my mom on board with everything that I was doing and she said, I don't like sweating. Just like, what? Like you, you got to like, it's not an indicator of your progress. Don't get me wrong. But in some cases, if you're just starting out on a fitness journey until your body, like, like I don't really stress. I don't really sweat nowadays. Because of my body's adapted to this type of training and unless I'm doing like conditioning

20:27work, but strength training, I really don't, don't. But like at the beginning of your journey, you will. And like that, when people avoid it, when they avoid, oh, the muscles burning too much, I got to stop. Or like, oh, my heart is racing too fast. Like I got to stop. People avoid that. They find the comfort. And they stay there. So they find like a place where it's comfortable or a pace where it's comfortable or like they're just on the brink of sweating. And so they're going to slow down their intensity.

20:59I've seen it exactly all the time. When I did used to do in-person training before warrior babe, people were like, they would just stop. I mean, I would catch it and I wouldn't let them. But they do enough, you know, they would do enough to say that they worked out without ever actually pushing past their edge. And then they wonder why they're not feeling challenged. This is why I would say I would lean into you guys. If you feel like you're going through the motions in your workout, you know, I would challenge you to be like, why are we just, why are we stopping here?

21:33Why, you know, and that could also be why you feel like you're not seeing the results that you expected because growth doesn't happen in comfort. Growth literally happens on the edge. It happens when you push into the discomfort. It happens when you create that metabolic stress on your muscles. When you create that cardiovascular challenge. When you, when it's like the moment that feels like it's too much and you go through it anyway. Have you guys been on the other side of that? It is such, I don't know if it's, it's literally, well, first of all, your, your nervous system

22:05is, is your central nervous system is completely taxed, but it feels so good. Yeah. If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. Like when you go through it anyway, that moment that you push and you feel like it's too much, it is, it's accelerating. It's amazing. You get on the other side and you're like, holy cow. Not only does that also build your confidence too, as well. But that is so, that is where strength is built physically, mentally. And like, as I said, I was going to be transparent with you guys, why this hits on such a personal

22:39level. Not many of you guys know this. I really haven't shared that story. Personally, when I grew up, I grew up in a very difficult environment. And when I'm in my, when I was in my sets like a decade ago, I would channel that. And I would push myself through the hardest sets by channeling something that was real. I would, I would, my sets would get hard. I would take my mind to the darkest alleys of my life growing up. And I would challenge those experiences into fuel.

23:11I will push through the pain in the gym because I pushed through harder things outside of it. And I would let that be my fire. Now, I know that's not everybody's method. Some of you guys like use your kids as fuel, or you channel the stress at the end of a hard work week or at work, or you channel what your boss said to you and you let that out inside of the gym. Or, you know, you, for me, I put on Linkin Park and I just get into it. I don't know about you guys, Linkin Park or Papa Roach, you know, one of those like heavy metal bands from growing up. Um, you know, you, you think about what, who you're doing this for.

23:43I think about like, I'm doing this for my future self. What are things I get to experience or like, you know, a strong body and mind. And then when you put that song on, it just like hits different. It hits so good. And it carries you through. I'm curious. I want you guys, I guess some of you guys popping in, um, some mindset fuel, but what songs do you guys listen to? Like, do you guys listen to any like heavy metal bangers like that? Or like punk rock, whatever your method is, like the principle is the same. You, you have, you have to find a way to walk through or walk toward a part, a hard part

24:17instead of away from it. And that's what I mean by, and I used to, when I was doing, when I was working out, um, Nickelback is good. Yeah. Last resort, Papa Roach. There you go. Uh, when I was training for bodybuilding back in the day and I was training with my coach, we call his, we call his workout, his gym in his, in his house, the pain cave. I kid you not. It was called the pain cave. And I'll never forget what he told me when I was working out and pushing through some of the hardest sets. He would always say this pain is just temporary.

24:51Like, let that say it. Like those workouts, you guys, that pain is just temporary. You're going to leave the gym. You're going to get in your car and you're going to drive off and you're not going to be in pain. So like when I say pain, like love the pain, like love the burn, love that sensation, love your heart racing, like love those things because you're doing something that, first of all, you're doing something a lot of people aren't able to do. I mean, one of my really good friends is in a wheelchair. She'll never experience this type of pain.

25:21A lot of you guys, like we get, we have, we get to do this. We don't have to do this. We get to do this. Yeah. Being able to move is a real blessing. You guys being able to go to that type of exertion and pain inside of the gym is a real blessing. So I say, learn to love that pain. Learn to love that burn. Learn to welcome that challenge. Learn to see the discomfort as the evidence of something that is actually happening in your body. Learn to love those types of things. That's where you grow. So that was the second one.

25:52Love, love, learn to love the pain. The first one was resisting your impulses. The second one is sleep. I know this one might surprise you. We just talked about some really in-depth stuff and I'm going to go to sleep. But sleep is truly self-discipline. Like, I mean that. Like, literally. Going to bed at the same time. I mean, geez. I just, I took it for granted in the last week. Waking up. You know, like dealing with, like, it has been a, it has been a process with me trying to get back to EST time. I'm not going to lie. But, like, challenging yourselves to go to bed at the same time and waking up at the

26:22same time every morning. I know Maggie wakes up and does her routines. She goes outside. She steps on the grass. She gets something. That stuff matters. As one of the truest tests of discipline that exists, in my opinion. Because it requires you to override the impulse to stay up. There's another impulse to resist. Or to not hit the snooze. Or to treat your sleep schedule like a non-negotiable commitment to yourself. These things are, these things make such a huge impact on your self-discipline. Like, at the end of the night when you're watching TV and it's nine o'clock at night and you know you need to be in bed at 9.30 but you're in the middle of the show.

26:55You stop it anyway. And you know that you have the ability to pick it up the next day. Right? Or, like, the one, the hitting the snooze button is really hard. I mean, geez. I did that the last two days just trying to get back into the rhythm. But, like, that is truly an act of self-discipline. You don't hit the snooze button. You get up and you start moving anyway. Because, like, when you go to bed and you wake up at the same time at consistent times, like, your body learns that rhythm. And then it starts producing the right chemicals at the right times.

27:27Like, it knows, okay, at 8.30, like, melatonin is going to start producing. It gets you sleepy. And then, you know, the cortisol is what wakes you up in the morning in, like, a healthier, appropriate way. Like, it fires you up. And then, you know, the dopamine at the right moments is what supports your mood and your motivation at the right times. Right? When you mess with that schedule, when you mess with, like, going to bed at midnight and that one night, like, especially on the weekends. Or, like, you know, you stay up until 10 p.m. or you hit the snooze or your alarm and you're sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Like, you throw all that off.

27:57And then, like, you know, melatonin shows up at the wrong time. You walk through your day like you're feeling like a zombie or, like, you crave these high calorie comfort foods because your body is trying to compensate for the dysregulation of you going to bed at all different times of the day. Your training suffers. Your recovery suffers. Your results suffer. Like, I genuinely believe this might be one of the most important strategies on this list is getting your sleep right. And I mean, like, really right. Like, consistently every night. And I, again, like, you know, weekends are weekends.

28:28But you don't have to be perfect. Consistently, it doesn't mean perfect. It just means consistent. Majority of the time you are going to bed at the same time, waking up at the same time. And I promise you that you will see, you will see faster results in every area of, in this program and every other area of your life. So I would say police yourself on this. Even if you're in, like, the middle of a good show, like I said, police yourself on it. Or even if you're not tired yet and your mind is racing, you're wired and tired. This would be even more of a reason why I would say to work on this strategy.

29:02All right. So we got sleep. We got resisting your impulses. And we got love your pain. Or resisting your impulse, love the pain, and sleep. Maggie's going to take it for the last two. And, like, the last two are arguably the best two, too, as well, on top of sleep. On top of all five of them, Maggie's going to take the show on the last two. You got it, Maggie. And with the bank. We'll end with a bank. And with a bank. Like, you always do. We'll end with a bank. That was fantastic, though. I love hearing all that. It's amazing. You think that you're like, I got this. Like, I've been doing this for years.

29:33And then you still hear something like that. And you're like, no, I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that. Well, it's easy, really, especially when you start feeling a little overconfident. You kind of start to let things slide. Because you're like, I got this. So it's nice to just kind of get, you know, you start dipping your pinky toe off the rails. Sometimes you got to get it back on. And you need a reminder. So thanks, Nikki. That was fabulous. I love, I love, love, love strategy number four.

30:04And I didn't used to. I thought it was woo-woo. And, you know, like, yeah, whatever. And the more I've studied health and nutrition and lifestyle, this is really important. And I listen. I don't know. As some of you might know, when I first started my health journey, like six, seven years ago, I started listening to Ben Azadi. Do any of you follow him? He's just a sweet dude. He was, like, big into fasting and keto. And he's changed his way of looking at some things.

30:38That's why I like him, too. He admits when, man, I think I was wrong on that. One thing he's always stuck with, and he calls it vitamin G. And I love that. And it's gratitude. Gratitude changes your brain. It completely changes your brain. So I want to talk about that because you, your brain changes when you live this lifestyle. So it's important that we recognize that and we recognize what is changing and why it's changing and how we can target that change for even better results.

31:15So before you start rolling your eyes at me, like, yeah, yeah, you're where I was. Gratitude. Whatever. Hear me out. All right. Because we're not, I don't, I don't want to talk about toxic positivity. Like, that drives me nuts. This is completely different than that. It's, it's not about just pretending everything's hunky dory. This is being very specific, like practical, a mental skill. And if you look at the most successful women, they practice this.

31:48And they practice it with consistency. So it's kind of putting all these things together. So I just, let me ask you this. How many of you actually spend a significant portion of time in your day thinking about your future? Like, about what, what has not happened yet. Results maybe that you haven't seen yet. Progress that you haven't made yet. A body that you don't have yet.

32:20Okay. There's the thumbs. We all know how that feels. Okay. All of us have done that. And it's cost us something. When you constantly are just living in the future, like what it should be, what you want it to be, what it's not yet. Why is this taking so long? You're completely blind to what is actually happening right now. And what you're going through, like right now, right at this moment, these things are significant.

32:51You're making progress. You're building the habits. And gratitude, it changes you on a cellular level. You've got to read some of the studies. They're amazing. They've actually looked at people on the cellular level and what happens when they start practicing gratitude. It changes you. Actually brings down your cortisol. Helps you burn fat. This is scientifically proven. But you're not going to see any of this because you're too focused on, oh, that wedding, that

33:23reunion coming up. Why aren't I seeing these changes? I got to fit into those jeans. And it's, you have to, that's one of those impulses. You've got to recognize it and you've got to reel it in from there. Here's the thing about mental state. Okay. Anxiety is just going to live there. You're going to have doubt. You're going to have those feelings of, I am not where I should be. We got Jana over here. She's lost 20 pounds in the last three months. We start comparing ourselves. We go to pretty dark places.

33:54And none of those feelings, none of them are going to give you the results you're looking for. And I am here to say this with my full heart. Gratitude is the antidote for that. Gratitude is just a feeling that washes over you when something good happens. This is different. Gratitude as an actual discipline. Like something you practice daily. Something you do absolutely intentionally to actually change your brain.

34:28Those neural pathways. You have the power to do that. Right? And actually see what is happening instead of what's just missing in your life. Here's the exercise. And I want you to write this down because I really want you to try this and you will be amazed at what it does for you. Okay. So every morning before you look at your phone, before you check anything, just write five things you're grateful for.

34:58And I had, I had someone, what was I, the book I was reading. It'll come to me. They talked about writing. Think of yourself at the end of the day and writing what you know, you're going to be grateful for at the end of the day. I'm so grateful. I was able to call my mom and have that conversation. I'm so grateful. I was able to get in my protein and know I'm feeling my body. I'm so grateful. I was able to show up for my family because I had more energy.

35:31That's the way I like to do it, but do what works for you. Because what happens is you start looking for those things in your day, your reticular activating system. You know, the whole red car thing. You buy a red car and you see everyone and their dog has a red car. It changes your entire day. It changes it. It doesn't have to be big. It can be tiny, tiny little things. I'm so happy I woke up today. I'm so happy the sun is shining.

36:02I'm so grateful for that. I have food in my body. I have food in my refrigerator. It might even be, I have a coach. I have a coach in my corner. Or maybe I got stronger this week. I'm noticing changes. My kids, they made me laugh yesterday. Whatever feels real for you. Write it down. And I tell you, once you're doing this for a couple months and you go back and you look at what you wrote, it's beautiful.

36:33Like, it's beautiful. And you realize how your brain's changed. You realize how you've started noticing even more details that you are grateful for. Your life changes when you practice and you take vitamin G. So this starts your day in a state of abundance. You're like, I've got it made. You're not thinking about everything you're missing out on. Here's something that's really genuinely true.

37:04Lack attracts more lack. Lack attracts more lack. Gratitude, it attracts more things to be grateful for. That's how your brain works. It's genuinely how it works. It's not woo-woo. This is actually, this is scientific. That's how your brain filters your experiences. So when you start the day and you're looking at what's good, you are craving to find more of it.

37:34Your brain just starts searching for it. Your brain likes that win. Oh, there's another one. Oh, there's another one. Oh, I got a good parking spot. Oh, that package I was waiting for finally came. You start noticing these crazy things and feeling grateful and abundant more than you ever knew was possible. This is part of your fitness journey. Okay? So stop telling yourself that you're not where you should be. Because believe it or not, you are exactly where you should be. Where you are is exactly where you should be.

38:05There's something to know and to learn from exactly what's going on right now, today. That's not failure. This is a moment that you need to process and understand and look at. So if you were grateful for every single step of this process, the slow ones, the hard ones, you would be able to see this accumulating. See this process. Help you from feeling impatient. You wake up in the morning, you're like, what? What's today going to bring?

38:35Yesterday was pretty great. That is such a better way to wake up in the morning. Like, man, I have a feeling something great is going to happen today. I tell my husband that all the time. I said, something really cool is going to happen today. Watch. Without fail, it happens. Without fail. So be grateful for the month that you built the habit. Be grateful for that week where you stayed consistent. Even when it was really hard. Be grateful for this body. Like Nikki said, we are so lucky to have bodies that can move.

39:08That we can teach it and protect it and change it. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for the process that's happening. Even if you can't see it. Because it's happening. So gratitude is not just a mindset tool. This is a discipline. And it will completely change the way you experience this journey. You will see your success. You will feel your success. You will feel grateful for your success.

39:40So if I tell you to do anything, start. And I would just put it on my phone. I'd open up my notes. And I'd put five things that I know I'm going to be grateful for at the end of the day. And it's changed my life. Honestly. All right. I didn't cry. Are you guys proud of me? I felt it coming a few times. Yay, I did it. I did it. All right. Strategy number five is relentless persistence. Yeah. So, and this is a core value.

40:13Like, this isn't just a tactic. Like, you know we're going to talk about this. Relentless persistence. So, it's not about just being stubborn. It's about having a completely clear vision of what you're building. So, when you combine all these things together, everything Nikki talked about, your gratitude, all of this is building. It's contributing to your health, your fitness, your life. And you know, here at Warrior Babe, like, it's just not about what we look like.

40:44That's like this much of it. This is so much more than that. This is you as an overall beautiful woman who we want to have the best and happiest and healthy life. So, all of these things matter so much, but you have to practice persistence. And sometimes you have to say no to things that you know just don't align. And if you're a people pleaser like me, this is a hard one. This is really hard. This actually happened.

41:14I was at family reunion this weekend. And, of course, everyone wants to stay up and play cards. And I'm tired. Like, I'm dying. And I know I want to have a really good day. But in my head, too, I'm justifying. I'm like, these are people I love. Like, I can stay up and laugh and have fun. But you know what? I'm going to feel way better. It's not aligning. Like, I know I need to go to bed. So tomorrow, like, I'm going to have an even better day with them. I'm not going to have to leave to take a nap. I'm not going to feel ornery. And I'm going to feel better because I'll make better health choices.

41:47So, yeah, I said no to a couple things that in the past I wouldn't have. But it didn't align with the way I know I'm going to feel my very best. So now I do much better planning my days. Plan my weeks. I plan macros ahead of time. I know what workouts I'm going to do this week. I know what things are going to look like before life. Because I know life's going to throw me a curveball. You guys know, too. Every day there's going to be a curveball. And you've got to sit back and say, okay, what's it going to be?

42:19How am I going to deal with it? And just be ready because it's coming at you. It will. But if you have those things in place, you're not making decisions from ground zero. Like you've got a plan. And it probably includes a good backup plan. So you have that structure. You have the plan. You just have to execute it. You just have to do your thing. Okay. And that's the part most people kind of skip. Is they just don't say no. And you have to practice it. Because it's kind of hard. The first time you do it, you think, oh, no.

42:49And you want to apologize. And then you want to go back and send them a text. Hey, I'm so sorry. Is that going to be okay? Don't do it. Don't do it. People aren't taking it as hard as you think they are. Say no when it doesn't serve you. Say no to the invitation that pulls you off track. Say no to the social situations that don't bring you happiness. And they're going to totally derail you. People are going to make fun of the way you're eating. Say no. You get to. But if you want to say yes, also say yes, too. There's nothing wrong with that.

43:21I'm just giving you permission to say no when you want to. And it is totally fine. Okay. And I know it feels hard. And some of you, you're people pleasers just like me. Your armpits start sweating just thinking about this. Okay. Some of you have been taught that saying no is really selfish. Or you seem ungrateful. And it's not. Think about when someone you love and appreciate tells you no. Do you have bad thoughts about them? This is what changed it for me.

43:52I don't. I'm like, oh, good for them. And I didn't know we could do that. We can say no. When I first started doing it, I'm like, oh. They say, oh, I still like them. I actually still, I actually have a little more respect for them. And that's what helped me decide it's okay. It's okay to do that. They might even like me more if I say no. I might even be a better example if I say no. Okay. So set those boundaries. The only one who can do it is you. You've got to set your own boundaries.

44:23And every time you say yes to something that doesn't serve you, you're saying no to something that actually does. You might be choosing to just be distracted and not keeping your goal in mind. And that is just going to be that little temporary comfort that's not going to give you lasting results. And you're probably going to feel a little disappointed in yourself. We don't want that. Okay. Here's the part of persistence that I want to stick with you. No one's going to do it perfect. You don't have to do it perfect.

44:54Not me. Not Nikki. She told us about all the mistakes she made. Girl still got a food prepping done. She did it. She might have hit snooze, but she still got it done. Okay. Not even the most disciplined people you know, they don't do it perfectly. No one's going to operate at 100% with this and with all of these strategies all the time. But the women who win are the women who do these things closest to most of the time. That's it. Most of the time. They get back up.

45:25They pull their pinky back on the rail. They recommit on Tuesday instead of waiting for Monday. They don't let the hard day get to them. It's okay. There's really kind of two types of women. And there's more than two types. But the two that come to mind are women. You know them. You talk to them. There's women who make excuses. I see them in the gym all the time. I don't know why people do this to me. They'll come up to me in the gym and they start telling me why they missed their workouts Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

45:58I'm like, it's okay. Like, you don't need to report to me. But I see it right away. Oh, my grandkids came over. I had a headache. The excuse makers. They have a really hard time looking at themselves, putting the finger at themselves. The excuse makers. And then there's the women who just, they just make stuff happen. They just do it. No matter what, they make it happen. So the women who are making the excuses, guess what?

46:29They get really, really good at making excuses. They get better and better at it. And the women who make it happen, they get better and better at just making it happen. And so who's going to get the results? Which one are you going to be today? Which one are you going to turn into? Ask yourself that in the morning. Who am I going to be today? Am I going to be that girl I'm going to be proud of when I go to bed tonight? Which one are you going to be today? Which one are you going to be this week? Which one? What do you want people to say about you when you walk out of a room? Or the thoughts they want? You want them to have about you?

46:59You're the girl who makes it happen. And you're powerful. You guys have so much power within you that you just need to let go. You are confident. You are here. You've been showing up. You've been doing this. You know what it takes. You know how good it feels when you hit it. You guys are persistent. You guys keep showing up here. You guys are amazing. Amazing. If you guys knew, we need to start recording how we talk about you guys when you are not in the room. Now I'm going to cry. Nikki and I had to do.

47:30We had to do some reaction videos that we had to film this week. And it was reacting to some of your success stories. And we couldn't make it through them. We're so proud of you. We're so amazed by you. We're grateful for you. I hope you're grateful for yourself and what you're doing. Maggie, you're pulling tears out of me. I know. That's a lot. Shouldn't have talked about it. Gosh dang it. You guys deserve to put your mask on first.

48:05Yeah, I remember the first time I was sitting in an airplane and I heard the steward, stewardess say, don't put it on your kid, put it on you. And I thought, oh, that's so rude. And my mom had to explain it to me. I'm like, oh, oh, yeah, that's really smart. Put your mask on first. Okay, do things that are in alignment for yourself, your goals. Your family need you to put your mask on first. And watch what happens. Just watch.

48:35All right. Gosh, we went way longer. Nikki, we thought this was going to be short. We thought we were going to go. I know. We said we were going to be short at the beginning. Too many good things to talk about. Okay, really quick. Just a quick recap. Write down. Write down the bonus. Write down your consistency. The top of your page. You're going to do it. Be honest with yourself. Where am I being consistent? Where am I not? But that's your starting point. Find a place you can start at where you can do a little better. Write it down. Okay, pick an impulse to resist.

49:05Pick one thing. We know, you know off the top of your head, the first thing that came to your mind, what it is. Pick it and do it. I already know what mine is tomorrow. I can't wait. Okay, set your bedtime. Set it tonight. Know that one tonight. Write down the five things you're grateful for. And if you want, you can do it my way. I like my way. It's pretty good. At the end of the day, what are you going to be grateful for? And then say no to one thing that does not align with you. Do not think about everyone else's needs. Think about what you need.

49:36All right. Did you write that stuff down? Because that's some good stuff. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you that you're here. So proud of everything you're doing. My heart's just full that I get to be in your presence. So thank you, everyone. I sure love and appreciate you. Love you guys. I hope you all have a great rest of your night. Bye, everyone. Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit

50:07that review button. Your rating and review make all of the difference, helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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