Why New Year Resolutions Fail — And How to Finally Follow Through

00:00How many times have you guys set a goal like, I want to lose 10 pounds or I want to get toned? And how many times have those goals left you feeling unmotivated or even discouraged when progress felt slow? The reason is that those types of goals are focused on outcomes and outcomes alone won't keep you going. Every day, every second, every minute is a new chance to move closer to your goals. So it's not about being perfect, it's about progress. I want to talk about aligning your goals with that like future self that you are stepping into.

00:37And whether you know it or not, where you are right now is different than the person that you want to become. What that looks like right now is different than where it could be in April, in July, in October. So what, and this is something that I'm extremely passionate about. I talked about this in an earlier episode where we're talking about reprogramming subconscious beliefs and, you know, upgrading the system of our paradigm, right? Think about it like an app, you think, or a phone. The operating system gets upgraded all of the time.

01:09Like that's essentially what you should be doing for yourself day in and day out, week after week, month after month. Because, you know, every human wants to grow. So this is just a part of the growth process. The apps need to be updated in the operating system with better habits so that you can fulfill on supporting the system upgrade, right? With new updated apps or following through with all of the new softwares that are happening. You know what I mean? So it's the same thing that comes into play when you're talking about you transforming your entire journey and aligning yourself with aligning the goals with your higher self.

01:47Like the goals that you strive for, results you want to have or see or, you know, those will require you to be different and do different things, different behaviors, different habits, different thoughts, different actions and what you're doing right now. And so I want to help you guys align those goals with the person that you need to become in order to fully achieve those goals. And just for context of why I'm so passionate about this, you guys, is I was unconsciously competent 10 years ago and was doing this without knowing that I was fulfilling on these types of strategies or concepts I'm talking about.

02:25What I mean by that is I was your 2015 New Year's resolution baby. I went into the new year coming off of a breakup. I was engaged at that time and I wanted to be more confident. I wanted to step into my personal power. I wanted to create a different, like have different results within my body. I wanted it to be strong. I wanted to have muscle. I wanted to, you know, achieve all of these things for myself. But clearly I wasn't in that state of body then or mind.

02:56And so I started, you know, pinch, like I had these concepts. I had this idea of a higher self or the vision of who I wanted to be in my mind when I was laying in my bed sobbing after the breakup and just was thinking like I can't be like this forever, you know, but it feels like you're going to be like that forever. And I was playing in my head about the things I want to do or how I want it to be. And I want it to be different than I am now. And I deserve so much more. Like all of those things, right, that I'm sure we think about on a day that you guys think on a daily basis.

03:29And so I started to create action. And I didn't realize I was consciously, unconsciously, competently doing that. And I was Pinterest-ing and I was looking at, you know, workouts and saving pins of a back workout or an arm workout. And I would go into the gym yet scared to walk into the weight room but knew that my higher self was calling me that I had to go into the weight room because cardio equipment, which is what I did the first couple of times when I walked into the gym, I walked right up to the cardio equipment because that felt safe and that felt comfortable.

04:03And I knew how to operate those machines. And that happened a couple of times. But then recognizing that, well, I need to lift weights in order to achieve this vision that I have for myself. So I had to get uncomfortable and walk into the weight room. And so I was driving myself with these actions of how my future self was showing up and bringing that future self closer and closer on a daily basis. And then I started, you know, seeing things on Instagram of the bodies that I wanted to have and not necessarily comparing myself at this time.

04:33Or maybe I was, but I recognized that like, hey, if they can do it, I can do it too. And that's the same notion for you guys. If you're seeing this on social media or you see somebody that has the results that you want, it's not necessarily don't compare yourself to them, but recognize that you can accomplish those same things. So then I started dreaming about these bodies. No joke. Like it went down to that level. Like I was immersing it into my subconscious mind without knowing all of these concepts of what I've been sharing with you guys recently. And then physical, like you start seeing this, your brain doesn't know the difference between time.

05:09So when you see this in your reality and you, or you see this in your mind, you see this in your vision, and then you create an emotion to it where that's what I was doing. I was getting excited. I was feeling proud. I was feeling appreciative. I was grateful. I was excited. I started creating these emotions attached to this vision, but like I'm still with myself in human form that I didn't have the body or confidence, but was still trying to show up for that person. And so I was started to feel these things.

05:41And then when those things happen and you attach the vision and an emotion together, then watch how things start showing up in your reality. Because what happened to me is when I was dreaming this and I talked to my family about it and I was speaking out loud and then I was attaching emotion to it. And I was like, I want this. I want this. I want this. God, higher power, whatever you believe in, put it into somebody else to be like, hey, when I walked into the gym, the general manager was like, are you working to compete or be a bodybuilder or whatever?

06:17And I shared this in episode one of the podcast of my entire story, but I wanted to tie this in really quickly with you guys because it all comes together. But essentially, like he said that and I was like, no, funny that you say that, though, because like that's kind of what I'm going for. Like all of this dreams talking about sharing it with friends and family, like starting to show up and go to the gym and start strength training. Like one thing was leading to another. And voila, I started I got he hooked me up with a bodybuilding coach.

06:52And from there on is history of me transforming my body, me going and competing, me winning, me going pro, me going into my second show, winning, going pro in a different federation. Then me going into my third show and competing and winning. And then this is my I beat the pros. So I left my bodybuilding career undefeated and also with a confidence, with the discipline, with the physical body results that I wanted.

07:22Not saying that you have to go be a bodybuilder to do this. This is just how God worked through me to give me this outcome that I wanted to become. So I want you guys this is what I want to talk about in this episode today is it's not just about setting the goals like I want to lose weight or I want to fit into my favorite jeans or I want to have more muscle and I want to be toned. Those goals are fine on the surface, but they're not going to carry you through tough moments. They won't push you forward when your motivation fades, when your progress is slower, when life throws you off track.

07:54What will carry you forward is your connection to that higher self, to that vision, to that feeling, to the most empowered, to the most confident, the most authentic version of you. And that's what I want to talk about today is how to tap into that version of yourself and how to create goals that are aligned with the person that you are becoming, not just the results that you are chasing. OK, let's get real for a second. And how many times have you guys set a goal like I want to lose 10 pounds or I want to get toned? And how many times have those goals left you feeling unmotivated or even discouraged when progress felt slow?

08:28The reason is that those types of goals are focused on outcomes and outcomes alone won't keep you going. Why? Because outcomes are external. They're tied to things outside of you. And when things outside of you get tough, like when you don't see progress as fast as you want to or right away or in the first three months of the new year, because that's when everybody dips out come April, that motivation fades. You start to doubt yourself and you wonder, like, why am I even doing this?

09:00But when you set goals that are tied to who you are becoming, when your goals are connected to your identity and to your values, you stay committed even when it is hard. So here's an example. Instead of saying, like, I want to lose weight, ask yourself, why do I want to lose weight? Maybe it's so that you feel confident playing with your grandkids. Maybe it's so you can wake up feeling energized instead of exhausted. Maybe it's so you can walk into a room and feel powerful and feel confident and stand in your presence and be grounded and know your self-worth and your self-value.

09:38That's your why. And that why is what is going to carry you through the tough moments. When your goals are rooted in your values, when your goals are rooted in your vision, they become magnetic. They pull you toward that future self. They pull you forward even when the motivation is going to fade. That's what it means to set goals that are in alignment with your higher self. So this is where the magic happens. Take a moment to imagine your ideal life.

10:12What does that look like? How does your body feel? How do you show up for yourself every day? How do you treat your body, your mind, your health? How are you talking to it? How are you talking in this ideal life? How are you carrying yourself? What does confidence look like? What does it look like when you walk into a room? How do you feel? You can't walk into a room and feel like I'm not enough because your future self ain't like that. Your future self, I'm walking into a room and here I am, people. This vision is your north star. It's the thing that will guide you with every decision that you make from this point moving forward.

10:45Every workout that you choose to do, every meal that you choose to eat, every time you show up for yourself, it's all a part of your bigger vision. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me.

11:18I want to help you guys take inventory of where you are in relation to the goals that you set for yourself because this is where things start to get real. This is the initial excitement of setting resolutions or goals and you've already done that, but this is where it starts to wear off. Now it's about how you're showing up when that hype fades, when the first week of the new year is done and out and you realize and recognize that life is happening. And the time that I set for my goals in the first week, it's hard to keep that up moving into the second week.

11:53And that's where you then go into, I don't have enough time. So first question I want to ask you is, did I set clear, specific goals for the new year? Pause, reflect, be honest with yourself. The second question I would ask you is, have I been consistent and taking action towards those goals? Pause, pause, ask yourself that question, be honest with yourself. And then the last one I would ask you is, am I seeing progress?

12:24Are you seeing progress or non-scale victories? If the answer is yes, I am giving you a huge high five virtually. Like, good job. Because seriously, like staying consistent is one of the hardest things to do. It's no small feat and you should be super proud of yourself for that. This is where progress happens when you keep showing up even when it's hard. Because for some of you guys, like I said a couple of minutes ago, if you crush it your first week, but then your second week, you recognize that the time that you allotted for your goals in the first week,

13:00the time isn't matching up for the second week, well, you just got to get a little bit more strategic with your time and really look at your calendar and be like, hey, when can I commit to getting my workout in and set that on your calendar or however you, you know, take inventory of your days and plan your days. First off, like if that is you and you said yes to all of those that you did set specific goals that you have been consistent and that you are seeing progress and doesn't have to be physical, give me mental, emotional, then virtual high five, cheering you on. Super proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

13:31If your answer is no or if you're thinking I haven't been consistent, that's okay too. This is your opportunity. I want you guys to give yourself grace in that because if you're anything like me, I'm learning that if I don't do something right, it is a part of my perfectionist mentality. And I'm going to talk to you guys about that. If I haven't been consistent, it's funny because like I have dealt with that in my own ways with fitness and nutrition. And now I'm kind of dealing that in other ways with my life.

14:03But it's funny how you recognize you do one thing is how you do everything. And even though I've worked through that through nutrition and working out, it's like giving yourself grace that, okay, here is this popping up again. And this is a level and opportunity of growth that I can seize now, right? So it's the same thing for this. Like if you haven't been consistent, that's okay. Give yourself grace. Do not beat yourself up. Do not say that you are a failure. Do not reject yourself. Do not go on a spiral and a rabbit hole and find yourself all the way to bottom and you can't see the top.

14:38I say that because I know and I've been in your shoes. This is your opportunity to get back on track. The worst thing that you can do is what I just said. Beat yourself up or throw in the towel. So I want you to reframe this as a chance to refocus and to recommit. Okay, because what's done is done. You can't do anything about yesterday. You can't do anything about two days ago. You can't do anything about five days ago. And if you haven't been consistent, that's okay.

15:08You can't change any of that. What you can do is you can reframe how your mental, what your mental is right now and focus on recommitting and moving forward now. What you can do is do anything about today, right now. Because, like, there's no time. You don't wait until Monday. Don't wait until February 1st. Don't wait until March 1st. The time, there's no perfect time. The time is right now. Even if it's like, maybe you woke up this morning before listening to the podcast and you didn't get your workout in. Do you have time later in the day?

15:39Can you move things around? Can you, because it's like literally, it's a snap of a finger. You have the control to change how you navigate the rest of the day. Okay? It's up to you. It's your choice. You can continue to wallow. That's even the word. Wallow in the mindset of beating yourself up and waiting until Monday. Or you literally can change that in the snap of a finger and be like, okay, I'm just going to recommit, refocus. I have the rest of the day to make good nutritional choices. And maybe if I can't get my workout in, I can at least focus on getting 10K steps in.

16:14It's that easy. It's literally that easy. You guys just complicate it and get in your head and get too far. And I can say that because I've been there. And I'm saying that with love. Because I want you guys to recognize and bring self-awareness to this truth that you can change things in a matter of seconds. Okay? Here's the deal. Every day, every second, every minute. Is a new chance to move closer to your goals. So it's not about being perfect.

16:44It's about progress. So whether you've been crushing it so far or you're struggling to get started, this is the opportunity to refocus and reframe and recommit and move forward. Okay? Again, matter of seconds. You can do it like I just mentioned. You have the choice to be able to literally do that right now. Thousands of women go through this feeling after a holiday. Step on the scale. Freak out. Only to get back on track and then see it go down by the end of the week.

17:15So I don't want you all to feel this type of way. Because I promise you, like, being more compassionate, being more kind with yourself. Like, you're going to be able to enjoy today rather than feeling like, I'm just, ugh. I'm like sluggish. Like, my body feels so heavy. My body hurts. Your body is just trying to catch up. Like, it's processing the feast. And it's, and that's not, like, a flaw to beat yourself up over. Okay? And if you didn't get enough sleep, that's only going to create the narrative in your head to be, like, worse.

17:47Like, you're going to have those loud, like, why did you do that? Like, you suck. Like, all those thought processes are probably going on in your brain. I know what happens to me. If I don't get a good night's sleep consistently for a couple of days, it's like, my brain is just, why did you do that? Oh, you're disgusting. Okay? It's just because you didn't get a good night's sleep. You didn't feed your body. And the shame, dude, the shame spiral starts when we resist, like, the natural bounce back. But if you, like, acknowledge it with the empathy and you be kind to yourself, you don't judge yourself, then you're already ahead.

18:21Because the shame spiral can lead you into the whole week. It can lead you into next week. It can lead you into the week after that. Dude, but you've marked the experience. You had a good time. You honored it. And you're ready to now to choose move forward. Like, what is in the past doesn't need to come in today and doesn't need to go into the rest of the week. So that's literally the first step. It's just normalizing the reset, not punishing yourself for living, for having a good time. I hope that you all had a great holiday, great weekend.

18:52If this resonates with you guys or somebody else, like one of your, maybe an aunt or a friend or somebody you're with over the weekend needs to hear this too. Please go and share that with them. This with them. I don't want you all to feel like you need to just beat yourself up. You need to restrict yourself. You need to eat less and move more. Like, all that jam. You don't need to be doing that today. Kindness. No judgment. Clarity. Move forward. With some action steps that are going to get you back on track. All right. So if somebody needs to listen to this as well, share it with them. Tag me on Instagram. Tag at Nikki Stott or tag at The WarriorBabe Show.

19:24And I want to celebrate the comeback together with you guys. All right. So love you guys. And I will see you in the next episode. Peace out. Real quick. If this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review. Share the podcast with someone who might need it. And help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps to show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so, so much for your support.

19:55Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.