Why Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back w/ Amber Brueseke

00:00When I have a specific goal, I track, but 90% of my life I don't track. But what has helped me is I understand portion sizes. I understand the composition of my food. That information does not leave you when you stop opening up your app every single time. And so I now understand so much more about food that I didn't understand before. And so, yeah, tracking macros for a period of time, learning about nutrition, learning about food, learning about your body, serves you even after you're done tracking.

00:30What's up, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. And today is another awesome day here on the podcast. We have another inspiring guest here with us. And you may already know her through her own podcast hosting of her incredible podcast with over 3.7 million downloads called Biceps After Babies. She's a former registered nurse, personal trainer, wife, and mom of four babies from ages 8 to 15, which is so bomb.

01:02And she's doing amazing things within the fitness industry. And helping women know fitness is so much more than just pounds lost and PRs, but also about having women feel and helping them feel more confident in their skin and empowered throughout their entire life, which I just love so much and align so much with. And apparently, we've been told that we're doppelgangers with our voice. So I'm excited to hear how that goes down the podcast today. But anyways, with all that being said, excited to have you on the show. Amber, welcome. Thank you so much. And yeah, maybe you can't tell our voices apart, but I'm so glad to be here.

01:34Right? Who's talking? Who's talking at this point? That's right. So, Amber, to kick it off, girl, why don't you share a little bit about you and who you are and what you do with the listeners here? Yeah. Awesome. So, as Nikki said, I'm the owner and founder of Biceps After Babies. And I started that in 2016, not really intentionally. I started as just an Instagram account, kind of sharing my own fitness journey and some of the things that were working with me. I had stumbled upon macro counting in 2016.

02:05And Nikki and I both share a background of being a registered nurse. And when I found macro counting, I was like, why do not more people know this? Like, why is this not taught in school? Like, this is all based in science, in nutrition. Like, why do not more people know about this? And so, I started just telling the world about macros and how amazing it was and how it really shaped and transformed my body. And people started asking me to coach them. And I was like, oh, sure. That sounds fun. Let's do it.

02:35And from that, that really organically developed into Biceps After Babies, where I really help a lot of moms, but women in general, be able to become their best versions of themselves and be able to up-level in their fitness life. But then that also translates, as you know, Nikki, into so many other areas of life. And so, that's what I do now is I help women in my signature program, Macros 101, be able to use macros to help them shape and hit the body goals that they want. And then I also help coaches.

03:06So, I've now transitioned into helping certified coaches to be able to use some of the techniques and tools that I use in my coaching to be able to apply that to their own coaching business. So, that's been really fun as well. I love that. Empowering women all around. So, bringing it back. Science-based. Love that you use that term. And know that you and I both resonate with macros. So, can you share a little bit about what macros means to you and why this approach to your client results is how you go about using that strategy?

03:45Yeah, absolutely. So, again, Nikki and I are both BSNs. We've both gone through nursing school. And I remember in nursing school, one of the classes that we had to take was all about research. Because in medicine, everything that you do needs to be evidence-based, right? That's the terminology. It's evidence-based medicine. And so, when we're going in and turning patients or suctioning them, there's evidence to support why we're doing it the way that we're doing. Because research has been done to show this way works better than this way. So, we always are following the evidence to be able to make those decisions in medicine.

04:18And so, I learned that in nursing school and understood how to read research, how to understand and interpret research, and be able to look for quality research that actually is structured well to be able to show you how to do things. And so, I got out of nursing school and I worked as a nurse for a while. And I was having my own fitness journey, as so many of us have had that experience, especially coaches, as I feel like we all have some sort of fitness journey ourselves before we start helping other people.

04:49And I was teaching group fitness classes at the time. And I felt like I was doing so much work in the gym, teaching six, seven group fitness classes a week. And nothing was really changing in my body. And I felt like I was putting so much effort in for very, very little results in terms of my physique. And I knew enough that I realized that I was paying a lot of attention to my workouts and not any real attention to being very specific with my nutrition.

05:20And having my nutrition also support the goals that I set. So, I remember very clearly, it was in 2015, I was scrolling through Pinterest and I stumbled upon a pin. And it took me to this blog and there was this woman talking about macro counting. And I had never heard this term. This was like brand new to me, but I'm reading through all the things that she's talking about. And she's talking about carbs, fat, and protein. She's talking about how our body uses each of them differently and how we need to make sure that we have the right amount of nutrients for our body while also being in a caloric deficit if you're wanting to be able to have fat loss.

05:52And as I'm reading this, I'm like, freak, this makes so much sense. This is the fundamentals of nutrition. This is how our bodies work. This is all science-based. This is things that I learned in my nutrition class. I learned about carbs, fat, and protein. But it's like taking that to the next level and realizing that when you can manipulate those variables, of course, you're going to create different outcomes based on that manipulation. And so, I read this and I was like, dang, this makes so much sense. I read lots of diets in the past and they never made sense to me.

06:25I was like, that's the dumbest idea ever. Why would I cut out all carbohydrates out of my diet? That's dumb. It doesn't make any sense. Not science. From a scientific standpoint, it makes zero sense that my body runs on glucose and yet you want me to cut out all carbs. But when I read Macrokin and I was like, dang, this makes scientific sense. And first test subject is always yourself. And so, I set a goal in 2016. This is my New Year's resolution. So, people who say New Year's resolutions don't work. It's like all crap.

06:56Yo, wild, Amber. Whenever you hear, and I'm going to cut you for a second. But when people say we're doppelgangers, you know when you just hear a similar story and you get chills? Literally, we have a very similar story. From our nursing background to a Pinterest thing that caught your attention to being your own test subject and testing it on your own. All of this stuff, which is just crazy. And then, most importantly, what you just said, which I'm going to let you continue on, the New Year's resolution. That was me in 2015.

07:27Wow. Wild. Okay, keep going. So, 2016 comes and I set a New Year's resolution and I said, I want to see abs. I feel like I work out enough. I lift enough. I do enough work in the gym, but I've never been able to see abs. And mind you, by this time, I'd had four babies. So, I feel like it's a little bit higher of a hurdle for someone who's had children. But I'm like, I feel like if I can align my nutrition with this goal and use this new tool that I found of macro counting, that I can do it.

07:59And Nikki, I was freaking blown away. Like, I was not new to working out. Like, I was not even new to, like, the concept of healthy eating. Like, I had learned a lot about healthy eating through the years. But I was blown away when I went from just, quote, unquote, healthy eating to actually being very specific about how to feel my body in a way that drove the result that I wanted. How fast my body changed. And I think it was about 8 to 10 weeks later, I didn't have a ton of fat to lose, but I lost about 10 pounds and was able to see visible abs for the first time in my life.

08:31And I was shocked. Post four babies. Post four babies. And it wasn't hard. And I wasn't miserable. And I ate ice cream every single night of my cut. And I was, like, my jaw was just, like, dropped to the floor. And so, that's when I said, I have to start an Instagram account. Like, I'm just going to share what I'm learning because this is life changing. And so, I remember I was scrolling on Instagram. And I was, like, I need to start this Instagram account. And I was, like, what am I going to name this Instagram account?

09:02And, like, this is my most creative moment of my entire life. And it hit me. It is your signature brand, girl. Right. It is biceps after babies. And I really, what I wanted to convey with that was so many women feel like when they have a baby that their fittest days are behind them. And I wanted to convey and communicate to women that you can have biceps after babies. You can have abs after babies. You can have your fittest body after babies. And that doesn't have to be a death sentence to you being able to reach those physical goals.

09:37Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, Warrior Babe is here for you. At Warrior Babe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle, and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results and results that last.

10:12Look, don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right. Let's get back to the show. Ah, damn. I love that. That entire journey that you just took us on from. So first of all, because you had four kids and I'm sure the audience is like, oh, my God, like I'm struggling right now.

10:46I just had one or I had two or, you know, I feel like it's like you said, it's daunting to them. They had their postpartum. They gained this weight and all of a sudden they're like, how do I bounce back and get my body back? So in those stages of you learning about macros, all science based, totally makes sense. Love that you dove into that a little bit. But let's talk to a mom that just had a baby and is struggling with knowing where to start. Where do you even start after you? Because I mean, shit, 10 weeks since you've got those abs. It's fire.

11:17That's incredible. And to macros. I need to pinpoint that as well. But what would you say to a mom that's like, I'm postpartum, you know, this is what I'm dealing with. I want to I inspired to Amber's story. Where do I start? Yeah, it's so good. Well, the first point that I would make is don't compare yourself. So I think it's really easy to hear, especially as a mom. I'm sure there's moms that are listening to this are like, well, that has not been my experience. I, you know, I couldn't cut for 10 weeks and see abs. And so it's really easy to start that comparison game of, you know, why can't my body be like that?

11:50Why can't I have that experience? And I think one of the things that I teach women a lot in my program is that when we surround ourselves with a community of women, it can be really powerful and it can be really uplifting if you use it in the right way. And the way that is the right way to use it is by using someone's success as an opportunity to see what's possible for you, rather than a comparison of making yourself feel bad that you're not where that that person is at. So I think what you don't hear or that maybe you haven't considered is that that, you know, 10 week cut that I did in 2016.

12:21Yes, was a 10 week period of time. But I was not new to lifting. I was not new to working out. I had a physical fitness routine before that. So I had put a lot of time and effort in years prior to that so that when I found that piece of nutrition, it all just kind of clicked and everything came together. So I think knowing that full story is really important because for a mom who's just coming off having a baby, like starting slow and adding one thing at a time is going to be the best way for you to be successful. And what I don't want you to do is to run out and feel like I have to, you know, get a gym membership and I have to learn how to lift weights and I also have to add macro counting.

12:58And then, you know, I probably should do, you know, drink water and then I probably need to go on runs and add all of these things. And then take care of this little baby that like sucks the life out of you for the first year of their life. And so I think we do ourselves a disservice, especially as moms, of feeling like we have to do it all in order to be successful. And because most of us don't want to do it all or can't do it all, then we do nothing at all. And we sit in the cycle of not adding anything that's going to move us towards our goals.

13:29So my biggest recommendation for a woman who's listening to this, who's getting back in, you know, is postpartum is trying to make those healthy changes is to make healthy changes one at a time. And, you know, that can start very small as like going for a walk with your baby, putting him in the stroller and going for a daily walk. You know, if you're wanting to start to get into nutrition and pulling, I always talk about pulling levers in our journey because the thing is most women want to like walk up to this big board with like lots of buttons and lots of levers. And they want to push all the levers and pull all the levers and push all the buttons all at once.

14:03And when you do that, not only is it overwhelming, but you don't really get a sense of which lever creates what's change in your body. And so I love to have women pull levers one at a time because it's like, let's start with just the single lever of, you know, exercising and going for a walk every single day. And then let's layer on the next lever of if you want to get into nutrition, let's start with you just tracking what you're eating. Like, don't change it. Don't modify it. Like, let's just start getting you into the practice and the habit of tracking your food and being more aware of the food that you're eating.

14:33And so I know it feels everyone always wants like the fastest results and they just want the fastest transformation possible. But I love to help women shift from getting the fastest transformation possible to the longest transformation, like the longest lasting transformation. And that is done by having grace with yourself, starting slowly, adding things one at a time, pulling those levers one at a time and really making this a habit. I know it's like overstated all the time. We double tap that on Instagram, but we don't actually integrate it of making these things a habit for the long run.

15:05Yeah, I love all that you just said, habit stacking. And then like what James Clare says in Atomic Habits is taking a vote for your future self. So stacking all of these wins on a daily basis. You don't I love it because people do go in with that like New Year's resolution mentality at the beginning of having a baby that they try and do all of the things at once. Right. And then like they get they get caught up with all of the things they feel like they have to do. And then which then just sets them back a little bit more rather than just taking one action at a time, stacking the wins on top of each other and then realizing, hey, what you said, like instead of like I always joke about this, it's like people want to put their body in a microwave, hit 30 seconds and out pops a toned six pack ab body.

15:46And I'm like, you guys got to stop with this instant gratification crap and get obsessed with delayed gratification because that's what's going to create the habits. The habits are going to what's going to create the longevity of being a sustainable lifestyle for you moving forward. So everything you just said is fire. Now, one thing I can add to one thing about this, I hear a lot of women talking about wanting to get their pre baby body back. And I think it's really important to speak to that because I think it's a harmful I think it's a harmful narrative that we feel like we need to go back in time.

16:20Like it's the same problem with I want my 20 year old body back or I want like some past version of me back instead of looking forward and saying, how can I be the fittest version of myself today? And so I think this narrative that like women get in caught up of having to like look the same as they did pre baby post baby. It puts a lot of pressure on women. You just went through a miracle of giving birth to a child. Your body is never going to be the same. That doesn't mean you can't be fit. It doesn't mean you can't have abs.

16:51It doesn't mean you can't lift heavy crap. But it does mean that like vying for or pining after a previous version of yourself is never a healthy way to live life. And so looking forward and saying, okay, you know, I'm a different person. I'm a mom now. Like that is a different identity that you're holding. Your body is different. But that doesn't mean it's bad or that it's never going to be great or that it's never going to be what you want it to be. We can always be looking forward. But I think pining after something that we used to have in anything in our life is usually not very productive.

17:24Hey, hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you guys are enjoying it. And there's so much more to come with it. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons. And also, it would help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too. Thanks so much, guys. Let's get back to the show. Yeah, 100%. So I would love for you to dive a little bit deeper on that. Going deeper with the roots of why, what keeps women... Because a lot of this can sometimes be a self-sabotaging action.

17:55They think about these ways. They go down those narratives of, I wish I looked like that or a comparison that we talked about a little bit ago. Dive a little bit deeper into those roots. Like what keeps women self-sabotaging? Yeah, it's such a good question. And it's a question that I wish more people would recognize and ask. This became a question that I was obsessed with as I started coaching. So as I kind of said before, I started coaching on a whim. It was very organic. It was very much like, hey, will you coach me? Yeah, sure. That sounds fun, right?

18:25Like very much from the get-go. It was not a whole lot of... It was just like, I figured out what worked for my body. Of course, that's going to work for your body as well. That's very naive of me. But that's where I started as a coach. And so I started coaching women. And I understood the science. I understood macros. I understood how to manipulate them. Again, I had seen it work for my body. And I started working with clients. And I was getting vast... Clients were getting vastly different results. Some of my clients would have amazing results.

18:55Some of my clients wouldn't have any results. And some of my clients would get results and then lose them. And I was doing the same things with all of my clients. I was using the same tool of macro accounting with all of my clients. And I was just floored as to why people were getting such vastly different results. And the more I started working with clients and really getting curious about this, I started realizing that there was a handful of clients who, whatever I told them to do, they would go and execute. And those were usually the ones who got super fast results, got the abs, were like, thank you.

19:26This is amazing. And left. But then 95% of the people was like, I could give them macros. I could give them workouts. But they wouldn't do it. Or they'd do it for a while. And they wouldn't be very consistent with it. And then they would not go to the gym this week. And they would binge eat on the weekends. They wouldn't stick to any of the plans that I would give them. And then, of course, if you're not sticking to it, we can't expect it to work. And so as a coach, I got obsessed with figuring out how I could get more women to actually take

19:58the action that they knew was going to get them the results that they wanted. But for some reason, weren't. They weren't taking those actions. And I have to put a pause here because I think it's really important for women who are listening to this who have felt stuck in that cycle before. You tried macro counting and you couldn't stick to it. You had your macros, but for whatever reason, you couldn't stick to it. Or you've tried to go lift at the gym and you couldn't develop it as a habit. One of the issues that I have with the fitness industry and a lot of coaches is that a lot of

20:29times coaches will point the finger at you and say, well, you're not dedicated enough. I gave you fabulous macros. If you just freaking would follow the macros, then you get results. And it becomes like this guilt trip. And so a lot of women that I work with have in the past felt very guilty and very shameful that they haven't been able to stick to these perfectly good plans that other coaches had given them. And I think it's really damaging and harmful. And when you start to understand that there's a reason why you haven't stuck to them and if

21:01we can address that underlying root cause and that reason, then you're going to have a lot easier time of actually taking the action you need to take. And so for women who are stuck in that cycle, it can be a very self-defeating cycle of like, well, I didn't stick to my macros today. I'm a loser. Like the self-defeating cycle of like, I'm the problem, you know, like I can't solve it. My body's broken. Like all of these things that we get into self-defeating behavior. And when, so I got obsessed as a coach of trying to figure this out.

21:32Like how could I work with these women who were self-sabotaging, who were getting in their own darn way, who weren't being consistent. Instead of saying, you're the problem, you just need to figure it out. You need to be more motivated. I got obsessed as a coach of saying, what can I do as a coach to support these women in their transformation to really figure out what's going on? Like where is the self-sabotaging behavior coming from and addressing it? And that over the years, that's been my guiding question is like, how can I help women to identify

22:02what's really keeping you stuck? And then as a coach, help you to figure that out, identify it, fix it so that it becomes easy to start taking the actions that you need to, to get results. Yeah. So what were some of the things that you found? What were some of the things that you found? Yeah. So as I got dug into this question, I started to realize that again, well, understanding that where the behaviors are coming from was earth shattering for me. It's realizing that people take actions and it always makes sense in their brain.

22:34We always self-justify. We always self-rationalize of why we're taking said action. And so I realized when I was seeing these behaviors, I was seeing these self-sabotaging behaviors. A lot of times coaches focus on those self-sabotaging behavior. You're binging over the weekend. How can we stop the binging? How can we address the action you're taking? You aren't consistent when you go on vacation. How can we address the behavior? But the problem is, is behavior comes from somewhere. There's a reason for the behavior. And if we're only addressing the behavior, we're not going to create long-term permanent

23:04change. That behavior comes from somewhere. And the root of that behavior is always going to be your beliefs and your identity. What you believe about yourself, about the process, and the identity that you hold, right? You quoted James Clear earlier, and he talks about this, the vote for the person you want to become. So when I started to understand that link between, okay, so someone's beliefs and their identity that they hold drives their behaviors. If I'm seeing behaviors that are getting in the way of the results that they want, instead

23:34of addressing the behaviors, what would happen if I start to address the beliefs and the identity that they're holding? And that was when everything started to change, is when I got really good as a coach in eliciting from somebody what their beliefs and their identity was. Currently, I could start to see the holes that were preventing them from getting the results they want. And so I became really good at uncovering those mental blocks that were keeping them stuck, helping them to remove them. And then the behaviors and the actions became so much more natural for them.

24:06And that's really what I built my coaching practice on is I love working with the client who just does what I said, what they're going to do. But I find that that's a very small percentage of the population. And so I work with a much larger percentage of the population that maybe knows what to do, but doesn't do it and can't figure out why. Yeah. I love all of that in terms of the identity and getting to that root cause. Not the solution fix thing. You can easily say, do better.

24:36Go do the things I'm telling you to do. That's lazy coaching. Exactly. In my opinion. Right. No, I agree. But then you can peel back the onions and you can get really curious about the person you're working with and you could almost so much as like, make it, make it all about them. No, you not almost so much. Do make it all about them. Get curious about why are they acting this way? What is the, I saw on your Instagram and I love this. You were like, be careful about what you say after I am. And because after I am, it could be, I, I am not good at this.

25:09And so therefore that behavior is going to cause actions that make you not good at going to work out or learning how to eat better. And so I love that. And James clear talks about this is peeling back all of the onions to create an identity shift where, you know, if you're dealing with somebody that's never worked out a day in their life has never chosen to eat better or all of the things, of course, the behaviors are going to be in alignment with that identity. So how can you get curious about what they're dealing with to help them shift that identity

25:40to be more supportive of the things that they want to accomplish, which is getting a better body and eating, eating healthy and feeling, feeling good. Right. So you have to get really, I love that you have to get so curious. And I, because I was once that coach, let me just pull back for a second. I was once that coach. I was like, everybody starts there. Like I, no shame to any coaches that are listening. Like I feel like every coach starts at that level. That's just where you start. Like, why aren't you doing it? You work for me. Why can't you do it? And then, and then you learn better and then you do better.

26:12But yeah, no shade to any coaches who feel like that's the level they're at. That's, that's just the beginning coaching mentality. Yeah. A hundred percent. So I love that. Identity is so important. When you shift the identity, you just become more of the things that you want to be and do. Like, I always like to say, think about the person that you want to become. Like, that's my favorite thing to say. It's not about who I am right now. It's who do I want to become? And what are the actions that are in alignment with that human being that is out there? And what do I have to do? How do I have to shift everything around? What identity do I have to be to be that person? But yeah, I love all that stuff.

26:43So, okay. Bringing it back. Macros. I want to ask this question because you said that there's those people at the beginning, they just go and do all the things, right? And then there's the ones that struggle with what we just talked about. But if you had to, outside of the mindset and identity things, what are some things that you would be able to tell somebody that's just starting with macros? Some tips and tricks to be able to take away with making macros somewhat successful for them at the beginning. Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

27:13Yeah. So some of my biggest recommendations for someone who's brand new to macro counting is to start learning how to track before you start learning how to hit any numbers. So a lot of times we'll try to do them both simultaneously. It's like you go to a coach, they give you macro numbers, and you go and now you're trying to learn how to track your mac. You're trying to learn how to use your tracking app. You're trying to learn how to weigh foods. And you're trying to learn how to hit all three of these numbers simultaneously. And it becomes really overwhelming for a lot of people. And so one of the things that I always have my clients do is starting to track just whatever

27:45they're eating normally without trying to change anything. Because tracking is a skill. Learning how to navigate your app, how to, like I said, create recipes in your app, like weigh things. Like that is a skill. And it takes a little bit of practice. And so I love to have clients start there. One, they're starting to learn what they've been doing in the past, which most people have zero idea how many carbs a banana has or how many grams of fat. But peanut butter is actually more fat than it is protein. Or the tablespoon of peanut butter.

28:16When you take a lofty hop one, it's like two or three or four. And it's like you measure and it's like, oh, snap. Yeah, that's not very much peanut butter. So I think that there's a lot of learning that can be done just tracking your normal intake and getting over the learning curve of learning to track. And then I love when clients come to me and they're starting with macro accounting. I love to start most women. Now, some women can like dive in and they are totally fine and they're not overwhelmed and they can make it work. That's fabulous for you. For a lot of women, it's very overwhelming at first. And so I love to have them baby step it.

28:48So we start with, let's first have this calorie goal and have you hit your calories. That's it. So that's the whole goal. And then we can layer on, let's have you hit calories and let's have you hit protein. Right. And now we're starting to get into what is for a lot of women challenging is to learn that, hey, I eat very little protein. Standard American diet is usually very low in protein. And learning how to eat more protein, that can be a real hurdle for a lot of women when they come into macro counting, as I'm sure you know. Um, and then once we get comfortable with that, then we can layer on, okay, now let's hit all three of the macros simultaneously.

29:19Let's hit carbs, fat and protein and your calories and, um, you know, go from there. But I, I, I see way too, this is, this is a, this is a big beef of mine with macro counting is that I feel like coaches have made it almost too complicated in order to justify you needing me to coach you. And so we make it so complicated that so many women are like, Ooh, this thing of macro counting, I can eat ice cream and lose weight. That sounds fabulous. And they, we throw them into the deep end and they like start drowning.

29:49And they're like, this macro thing is not for me. It's like, I, it didn't. And then they'd say things like, it didn't work for me. And you're like, it's a tool. Like it's science. Like it works. Like you just got thrown in the deep end and didn't know how to, how to manage it. And so I think, um, I hate it. I hate it when people are like macro counting didn't work for me. I'm like, it's like saying that like gravity didn't work for me. Like gravity works fine. Like it always works fine. Yeah. You got to work it for sure. You don't understand, like you don't understand gravity.

30:20You don't understand how it works. And so you make this offhand account that didn't work. But a lot of times I find when women say that it's because they got way too overwhelmed with like trying to do all of the things at once. And so I love having women baby step it. Yeah. Baby step it for sure. Track it, take it step by step. Like we said, little small wins. I'm sorry. It gets you to be a pro. And I like to say that macros is a skill set that will serve you for the rest of your life. Totally. Like it's like, and you don't have to track the rest of your life for it to serve you for the rest of your life. So I, I don't track macros most times anymore because I only, I use it as a tool when I have

30:55a very specific goal. I used it to be able to like to lose weight, to get the six pack. And then I, I did power lifting for a while. So I tracked macros then because I was really wanting to like improve my numbers. Um, and then I use it for, I did a, um, like a hypertrophy cycle, a bulking cycle where I was adding muscle. So you gotta eat a shit ton of food for that. So you gotta make sure you eat that amount. Right. In that case, it's like, if I don't track, I'm under eating. So I gotta track to like, make sure I have enough food. So when I have a specific goal, I track, but 90% of my life, I don't track. But, but what has helped me is I understand portion sizes.

31:29I understand the, the composition of my food. That information does not leave you when you stop opening up your app every single time. And so I now understand so much more about food that I didn't understand before. And so, yeah, tracking macros for a period of time, learning about nutrition, learning about food, learning about your body serves you even after you're done tracking. A hundred and 10% love that. Yes. You can, and what I like, cause people feel like it is daunting and you spoke really well to that. You, instead of being dove into the deep end of dealing and learning macronutrients, it's

31:59like, even if you did dive into the deep, deep end, still take it step by step. But a lot of people get impatient with totally learning how to track macronutrients and they want to give up because it's, it requires time. It's like, you know, I joke, I'm like, get your, my fitness pal out, go run around your kitchen and barcode scan some stuff. Right. And like, you know, then you'll put it into your database and yada, yada, yada. But that takes time. But it's like, if you just took the year, right.

32:29To get really solid at learning the skillset, holy shit. Will it be able to serve you? Like I said, for the rest of your life, you know, like I've what, uh, eight years in it's like my scale actually, cause I wanted to cut a little bit before I go on a trip. It's broken. The batteries are freaking dead. I'm like, God damn it. So, but I'm able to look at the food and I'm able to be like, okay, this is three ounces of beef. This is, you know, a tortilla. I got the carbs on the back. Right. So like, I am so thankful to macros because I can look at any type of food item and be like,

33:04that's a carb. That's a fat. That's a protein. That's right. I feel like so many women just need to, I feel like they need to learn that. Right. Cause it can serve them in so many, I think going out, let's talk about going out to, uh, dinners. Right. You know, like how would you tell your ladies to approach going on vacation or going out to dinner? Like with feeling like they have to track all the time. Yeah. Well, so we talked earlier about like root causes of self-sabotage and one of those root causes tends to be the all or nothing thinking that women, many women exhibit when it comes

33:36to macro counting. And I feel like that they come by that rightly because a lot of, um, coaches are very dogmatic about like you either hit your macros or you don't hit your macros. And if you don't hit your macros, well then you suck and you probably need to hit your macros. And that's like all the coaching that they give that person. And so, um, a lot of women come into, uh, into my program with that history of feeling very much like if I don't hit my macros every single day, then I'm not going to get results. And so they become very dogmatic about it. And then we go out to a restaurant and they freak the heck out because they're like, I

34:09don't know how much this, this rice is or how much oil this was cooked in or, and they go on vacation and they're like, I don't know how to track all of these things. And so what do they do? All or nothing mentality kicks in and they throw it all out and they eat. Like an asshole on vacation. Um, you know, they eat whatever they want. We're just, we're so similar. I say, please don't need like an asshole while you're away. Enjoy your time, but just don't be an asshole. Right. And so, and so we can start to acknowledge and recognize that all or nothing thinking that most women tend to like fall haphazardly into.

34:43And we can start to say, okay, how can we get out of that all or nothing thinking? And I always like to prompt my clients. It's all or something. So what is the something, right? So you go out to your, your, you go out to eat and you don't know how to track it. Okay. Awesome. So nothing would be not tracking it at all. All would be, I don't know, going to the waiter or going to the cook and like bring the scale to the kitchen and like asking the cook to like, wait, I don't know, like waiter thing. Like that's, that's the all we have the all or nothing. So then what's the something, what's the in-between of something that you can do that will move

35:14you forward, that will have you be accountable, that have you make a vote for the type of person you want to become and get you as much information and data as possible without holding you to having to be perfect. Same philosophy when you go on a vacation, same philosophy when your friend brings you dinner. I mean, it's all the same philosophy of recognizing instead of it being all or nothing, how can it be all or something? And then using that momentum to continue to drive you forward. So in that case, would you be like ballpark it? Like try and like go in a database. My fitness pal has a shit ton of all the things.

35:46Ballpark it. You know, maybe it was a cup of rice. Okay. Put that in. You can at least see at the end of the day where your numbers are. Is that, is that what you mean by like something? Exactly. And, and you made such a good point before is like people who are brand new to tracking that can feel very hard because they're like, I don't even know what a cup of rice looks like. I have zero idea what a cup of rice looks like. So this is where, again, the longer that you track and the more information you're able to gather, you can start to do that eyeballing. So yeah, your eyeballing is not going to be very good at first. That's okay. Still eyeball it.

36:16Still give it your good old best go at like, that was a cup and a half of rice question mark. I'm just going to go with it as a cup of half and rice, you know? And then as you learn more, you'll be able to eyeball that a little bit better. But yeah, you go into your database, you estimate the amounts, you find something similar, you log it and you say, peace out. I did my, you know, I did my very best. I'm not going to let perfection be the enemy or what is it? Good be the enemy or perfection be the enemy of good. And I'm going to keep moving forward. And that, that moment right there, that identity that you just stepped into is what's going

36:51to drive you forward. Because the opposite effect is what so many women fall into. I don't know what I ate. I can't track it. I'm not going to do it at all. They fall off the wagon. Tracker zones doesn't work for me. And then they like, they quit. So which is better? Like something or quitting because you can't be perfect. Yes. I love that you said the imperfection is the enemy of good because that's so a lot of people come in. I think they're very, a lot of people, especially that I've seen the analytic minds with numbers and being very logical. It's like, I remember speaking to one client who has just broken through so many barriers

37:25of that type of mindset that came in competition mode, how to track everything. And now it's like finally stepping into like a somewhat intuitive lifestyle, which is so dope to see. And you can get there if you do all of these, you know, things that we're sharing here. But she was like, had to be perfect. Zeros, Amber, zeros across the board. And I'm like, holy moly. Okay. We got some work to do here. But yeah, I love that you said that because you don't have to be perfect, especially with macros. It's all or something. I love that.

37:55That's right. All or something. Yeah. And to be clear, I'm not, I don't coach competition prep, right? This, that's a very different beast than what I do, which is like working with a general population. Me neither. I just have to deal with that. But then that's, that is the leftover mindset that comes from that because you do have to be very exact. You do have to be very diligent. You do have to like push through a lot of physical and mental stuff to be able to do competition prep. All the, all the, you know, praises to them. Like, that's awesome.

38:26I'm speaking to someone who like just wants to feel a little bit better in their body, wants to lose a little bit of weight, wants to like fit back into their genes and wants to do it in a way that's going to be sustainable for their life. A hundred percent. So let's go into, because I saw this on your Instagram too, as well, which I loved that majority of women need to go through the cut, the, or the go to cut reverse maintenance, all of the jazz. And I know that you speak heavily to like, yo, let's live in maintenance majority of the years. And I align with that so much.

38:56Why? Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, most women, when they come into macro counting, and again, I think this is like marketing of macro counting. It's the way that coaches approach things that, you know, there is marketing behind this. People want to lose weight. So we give them this tool of macro counting to be able to do it. But macro counting gets branded as a weight loss thing, like a weight loss diet. And it's so important for people to realize that macro counting is a tool. And it is a tool that can be used in a lot of different instances and a lot of different situations.

39:27Just like a hammer can be used to build a house or tear down a house. Like that same hammer is used. It's just used differently in different ways. And so I really love women to kind of start to understand that macro counting is not just for weight loss. It's not just for cutting. It is to be able to fuel your body in a way that drives you towards whatever goals that you want to have. And our bodies do better when they are well fueled. Even in a cut, you know, that's why we work on macro ratios. That's why we focus on each of the macronutrients.

39:59It's like, yes, you're in a deficit. You're in a caloric deficit. But if we can at least fuel your body as well as possible by having good macro ratios, then you're going to be able to be so much more successful. So a lot of women come into the process thinking macro counting equals cutting. That equals what I'm going to do with macros is I'm just going to cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. The problem with that, as you know, Nikki, is that our metabolisms are adaptable. And so our bodies are really smart and they are made to keep us alive. And so if you are going into a deficit and you stay there for a very long time, your body

40:32gets real smart and it starts to slow everything down. Your metabolism slows down. You move less. You have less like just like everything slows down because your body says, oh, you're going to feed me only 1300 calories. Well, then I guess I'm only going to burn 1300 calories because that's just the way I have to adapt to what is being shown to me. And so then women get in these cycles where they're eating, you know, 1100, 1200, 1300 calories and they aren't seeing any results. They're like, I'm not eating hardly anything and nothing's happening.

41:02And they think that the solution is just eat less. Eat less, move more. Right. That's the solution. Just eat less, move more without understanding and realizing that this metabolic adaptation is what's keeping them stuck. And so moving through the different phases of macro counting, using macro counting in not only in a cut phase, but then, you know, the reverse diet phase where you are, our metabolism is our adaptable. They can adapt down. Guess what? They can adapt back up. And there's a process to do that. And that's called reverse dieting, right? So we have to, we can work with our metabolism, use macro counting to eat more food, which is

41:35like totally wild for so many women. And drop way at the same time by eating more food, which is just mind blowing. Yeah. It's like, thank you. You're giving me food about damn time. That's exactly right. Yeah. Fueling your body well, right? It comes back to that fueling your body well. Um, and then using macro counting as a tool during maintenance, which like you said, should be most of your life lived at maintenance. Most women that I work with have never in their entire 30, 40, 70 years of life intentionally maintain their weight. They've never said, you know what my goal is right now?

42:07My goal is to just maintain. Like most women have never, ever said that it's either they are, you know, trying to lose weight. Most of the time it's like trying to lose weight or they just don't care at all. And then they're doing whatever. And so learning to eat at a maintenance is a skill. Learning to maintain your weight is a skill and, you know, is a phase that needs to be accounted for. And then some women want to go into a bulk. You know, I dropped, uh, previously that I've, you know, been through a bulk. That's for someone who really wants to maximize your muscle gains. And you get into like intermediate advanced weightlifting.

42:40It's really hard to build muscle at a deficit for sure. And even at maintenance, it starts to become really hard to build muscle and you actually have to give your body extra calories to be able to build that muscle. Yeah. Which, um, love that you spoke to all of that because that's so true. Living in maintenance is because think about it, like you want to build muscle. Well, you just spoke to it. You're not going to be able to build it in a cut because you're not eating enough that the muscle needs muscles, active tissue. It doesn't fucking stop. Just like your metabolism doesn't stop. So, um, giving it, giving the body what it needs in order to build the muscle that you

43:11want. And this is another thing. I think I saw this on your Instagram. I fucking hate the word toned, but toned has somehow made its, made its presence known. And like, I'm guilty. I've used it for marketing, but I fricking hate it. Because it's marketing. Yeah, exactly. Like it's what people say. And so of course you're going to use the word that they say. Yes. But let's just preface guys. And I've said this too, in podcasts as well as like, if you want to be toned, you have to build muscle because what tone is, is you just decreasing the body fat around your beautiful muscle that you've built. So if you want to do that, you have to eat.

43:41And if you want to eat, you can't stay in a deficit forever. So like, you got to think end goal. You want to build muscle. Okay, cool. Where's the best place to be at? Maintenance, man. You get to eat and build muscle at the same time, but you alluded to your bulk there, which I did see that. Was that the picture from 2016 where you were 126 pounds to 2003 where you were 142 pounds? Yeah. Yeah. So I, um, I went through some phases, but yeah, I, the 126 was when I was my leanest, when I had my six pack. And then I was like, I still like, I cut down to what you said.

44:12It was like, I actually didn't have a lot of muscle. I cut down and there wasn't a lot of muscle there. And I realized, yeah, I, that's right. So I needed to like add the muscle. And so then I did end up going into a bulk. I think that was in like, it's probably 2017, 2018 when I did like my powerlifting competition and like really added, I mean, I, I got up to like 140, I went from like 126 to like 147, 148, um, and like really did it. And, and, and then was able to cut back down so that I could get into my weight class for my powerlifting competition. But, um, yeah, bulks are, are hard mentally and physically.

44:46Um, but they're awesome. Yeah. So all of the things right there that I want to unpack, there's two things mainly one. I want to get to the scale in a second, because obviously a very similar story. I was 140 dropped down to 120 and now I weigh 155. So I want to talk about that number with you, but first let's talk about that mindset because I know a lot of women that are in the community that I have warrior babe, that we teach bulking, but we teach it in a sense of, it is a mental game that you're going to go through. But if you want to build muscle and you have a smaller frame, jumpstart, like accelerate

45:18results, right? Put yourself in that phase, uh, for a little bit. So you can build muscle at an optimal rate. Um, so talk to me about that mindset that you had to endure while you went through that. Yeah. It's, it's, it's super counterintuitive for most women to intentionally gain weight, right? Like that just blows their mind. Like why would you actually, your goal is to have the scale go up? Like that makes no sense. It goes against all the last 50 years of Jenny Craig Weight Watchers, all of the things. That's right.

45:49But I think the first thing to break down there, and this kind of gets into that scale mentality is the reason that that blows, like people just don't, cannot grasp that is because they have taken fat and weight and collapsed the things down together. And they said, if the scale goes up, that means I've gained fat. And if the scale goes down, that means I've lost fat, which is not actually the case. You can lose weight and gain weight without having any fat leave or enter your body. Um, and so when we can start to break that apart and help women to understand that the scale is a data point, it gives us some information, but not a clear picture of what's going on,

46:23which is why we include lots of data points. Um, then we can start to separate that idea of like, why would you ever want to add weight? Well, because when I'm adding weight, my goal is not to add fat. My goal is to add muscle. And yes, some fat's going to come along with it. That's, that's the expense of doing a bulk. You're going to hopefully maximize muscle gain and hopefully minimize fat gain, but there's going to be some fat along it. So when you start to understand, oh, you're wanting to add weight on the scale because your goal is to add more muscle. People can start to wrap their head around that process a little bit more of, okay, now

46:56I see why you actually wanted to see the scale going up because I wanted to add more muscle to my body. Yeah. And damn that picture guys definitely check out. Um, we'll have her Instagrams and all the things below the podcast, but, um, that picture was so cool to see. And that like, you still, you're still an athletic figure, right? Like you, so it's not like you gained fat, you gained muscle and boy, is that muscle present when you're given that flex. So, yeah, I love it. So all of the things, man, that was, that was fire.

47:26I enjoyed, you know, I was talking to you about the, all of mindset. We, I feel like we encompassed a lot of things here in one, which was awesome. Um, is there anything else that you want to say to the listeners that have been listening to the podcast today? Uh, I mean, you're right. We covered, we covered a lot of ground on the podcast today. Uh, it was really, really good. It was really fun. Um, so listeners guys, I hope you enjoyed this podcast today and you got to know Amber a little bit more again, go check her out on biceps after babies, um, on our podcast and all the other things are Instagram and Facebook groups will be below this podcast today, but Amber

48:00girl, appreciate you. Thank you so much for coming on today. Oh, it was super fun. It was my honor, Nikki. So fun to be here. Awesome. See you guys real quick. The only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate review and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask for you to do is if you could leave a review, it will take you 10 seconds and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone

48:33else.

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.