Why Women Over 40 Keep Restarting Their Fat Loss Every January (And How To Stop It)

00:00Most women have standards that are too low. A high standard does not mean that you never have a bad day. A high standard for myself does not mean that I don't take a week off of working out. What it means that when those things that happen and they will is that your standards is what you return to. Women with high standards have bad weeks. Your standards can only go as high as your environment supports. If the people around you do not share your standards, if your environment is constantly pulling against the floor that you're trying to set, maintaining that floor costs enormous energy. Energy that you should be spending elsewhere.

00:37This is why community matters so much because being around people who hold a high standard for themselves makes your standard feel normal. It makes it feel natural. People that are working out and moving, oh my gosh, this is normal. This is just expected. And when high standards are the norm around you, holding them stops being this daily fight and starts being just who you are. What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. I'm just gonna just kick off this episode right now because I'm in a mood where I just want to, like, I know I said this on a lot of episodes lately, actually, as I say this now, but like,

01:18I just want to lean in here and I'm already in that energy. I just got done my workout and I pushed myself to the absolute extreme to where my central nervous system was just like humming afterwards. You know, you ever been in one of those positions before after a workout? That's me right now. So I'm already in that energy of like, we're just, I just lean into myself. So I want to be able to lean in, lean into you guys. And so with this episode today, I want to talk about your standards. I don't want to talk about your goals. I don't want to talk about your motivation. I want to talk about your standards.

01:54Like, the baseline of what you expect from yourself, what you will accept to just be the norm for you, and what you consider good enough. Those are like the single most powerful determinant of where you end up in the long term, where you end up in the program that you're on, where you end up like in many areas of your life. And the hard truth that I want you to sit with today is that most women have standards that are too low.

02:24It's not because you're lazy. It's not because you don't care. But I think it's because the standards that get set, they're relative to where you're currently at right now. Does that make sense? They're not relative to like where you are actually capable of going, which is really hard for a lot of women to put their mindsets in that type of category of like, I'm actually capable of doing this, right? Unless you have somebody breathing life into you or somebody believing in you, which is so important, I think to why people get coaches and have somebody in their corner along the way on their journey, because you left to you doing it on your own, you're going to get in your own way.

03:02At certain points, you're going to talk yourself out of certain things. And you're gonna you're just going to live to the standards of where you're currently at right now. And so today I want to talk about, like, I even just said this to our team on the backside of warrior babe, the people behind the scenes, man, there's a there's over 170 people behind the scenes of warrior babe, I just want to like, praise them for the work that they do every single day for those that you guys don't know that that's happening behind the scenes, like, they are a part of the mission, they show up every single day breathing life into the babes that are coming in, the women that are coming into the program.

03:39But all that to say that I just said to the team, I was like, our standards as a company are here. Right? A lot of people's standards are here relative to where they are. The company isn't going and like, think about it, like a friend or a co worker or someone that you see crushing it at life. And holding standards. And holding standards high, like me is holding standards hard for myself, I'm not going to lower my standards to meet you where you're at. I'm going to be a good friend and a good co worker and a good partner and a good boss and I'm going to call you to raise your standards to come up here. Because you are so capable of what is up here. Right? So that's what I want to lean in to and talk with you guys today in this episode about.

04:28But I think first, I want to make sure we're talking about the same thing. Because standards get confused with like, I've got goals. And I've got these like things I'm aiming for, but they're the standards and goals are not the same. Okay? A goal is something that you're working towards. A standard is like, a standard is like, a standard is like, a standard is like, a standard is like, the baseline that you hold of yourself, regardless of whether you are working towards anything specific. Like, it is the floor below which you refuse to fall. Right? Like, how I just, if you guys could see me, I just also realized that I'm on video and some of you guys listen to audio. I have two, my hand, one, my left hand is higher than my right hand right now.

05:11And I'm kind of like in a horizontal position with them. And that was just a depiction. And what I was trying to relay verbally to you guys is the like, my right hand was, I'm not going to lower my left hand, I'm not going to lower it to my right hand, right? I'm going to call my right hand to come on up to my left hand is what I was just explaining. And that's the same, like the standards that you have or the baselines that you hold of yourself, regardless of what you're working towards the like with the goals you have in life, right? Like, it, it, they are the floor.

05:41Below which you refuse to fall. So this is my floor, right? My left hand being higher than my right hand is my floor. And I refuse to fall below that. Does that make sense? A goal might be like, I lose, I want to lose 20 pounds. The standard, like, that's your goal that you're striving for. A standard is like, I'm not going to skip more than one workout per week. Or I make sure that I hit like that, like, these are standards that I live by for myself. Consistently, I'm not perfect. But majority of the time, this is where I'm at. This is where I live. And I want to call every other woman that is listening to this episode to get there with me. It's possible.

06:23And it's capable, you're capable of doing it. And on the other side of it is something magnificent, not just you getting to the results that you want to get to, but like the confidence that you build in yourself, and the strength that you hold of who you are, the character, your self worth, all of these things come with that. I hit my protein every day, right? I show it for myself, even when even when it's hard to do it, like I keep the promises I make to myself, right? Your goals have these finish lines. I've met goals multiple times, I competed three times left undefeated, they had goals each show to get to, right? But now in the course of like somebody at church yesterday just asked me, they were like, do you compete? I was like, yeah, I did eight years ago. But my physique still looks like I do. I get asked all the time.

07:09I haven't lowered the standards of which I held to when I was in my competitive years. Like the standards, the goals have the finish lines, the standards do not. Standards are the operating system running everything else around it. Like it's that the constant expectation that you hold of yourself which determines if you are determines your average. And your average over time is your life. Does that make sense? Like the other way too, the standards are is they're not perfect. I don't want you to think about this as being perfect. I am not perfect. As I said, I want to be really clear about this, because I think that most of them confuse raising their standards with demanding flawlessness from themselves. And that confusion is what makes the idea of these standards feel impossible before you even try to set them for yourselves.

08:01A high standard does not mean that you never have a bad day. A high standard for myself does not mean that I don't take a week off of working out. It does not mean that you never miss a workout or you never go over your macros or you struggle. Me saying this, I just took a whole week off last week and I just focused on walking outside. But that was my standard, right? It doesn't mean that you never have a bad day. It doesn't mean that you never have these weeks or these bad days. But it's like what it means that when those things that happen and they will is that your standards is what you return to.

08:37The floor is what you bounce back from. Not the ceiling that you have to try and reach every single day. Women with high standards have bad weeks. High, I'm one of them. But they do not let those bad weeks become bad months and like allow three months to go by without having a protein hit for the day or missing all of the like they I don't I can't tell you the last time that ever missed more than at least like consistently across the board like a month of working out.

09:13I've never gone a whole month not working out. That's what I mean like you don't let a bad week or a bad day turn into multiple months and or a year. Because like this my standard my standard does not allow that. You got what I'm saying? The standard does not allow that. So here's what I want you to understand about where your current standards come from because I think this this could be the key to changing them for you guys. Your standards are not set by you not consciously at least like they were set by your environment.

09:45They're set by your history by the people around you the narrative that is in your mind and the experiences that you have with your own body and your own consistency over time. Meaning if you grew up in a household where movement was just not a priority, then your baseline for physical activity was set right there. Or if you spent years in dire culture cycling through restriction of failure, your standard for what you're capable of sustaining was is entirely shaped by that experience.

10:16Or if the people around you, the women around you, if your friends, if your family, if your if your community of people, if they have a certain relationship with their health and their bodies, their their ceiling becomes your reference point. Does that make sense? Like whether you realize it or not. You are the people you surround yourself with. And most of these standards were not set by what you are capable of, but by what was just normal around you every single day. That being the history of what you've been involved with.

10:49If you've been dieting for decades, that's just your standard of what you think that you're capable of. Your standard is literally shaped by those experiences, but by what is just like it's just expected. It's just what is acceptable, especially if the people around you aren't working out. Your good friends aren't working out. Again, you are the five people that you surround yourself with. Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second.

11:21Leave a quick rating or a review or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. The problem with setting your standards relative to your environment is that your environment may not be aiming very high. A standard collaborated to the average around you keeps you average.

11:53Does that make sense? Even if you know that you are capable of so much more, you will just be met. That's what I mean. Again, going back to my left hand being above my right hand. Once you become aware of this, once you see it and you allow it to accept the truth of what you're seeing, you're going to have to make yourself be called to rise your standard, which we're going to get to, obviously. But I want to ask you something and I want you to sit with it honestly. When you think about what a good week looks like for you, what does that actually mean?

12:26Are you hitting your workouts every time? Are you hitting them most of the time? Are you tracking your food accurately and honestly? Or are you tracking just most days and you're eyeballing the rest? Are you prioritizing your sleep? Are you just getting to bed early when things aren't busy? Like those are the things that I just want you to like, what does a good week actually look like for you? And then now the real question is, is that standard set by what you are capable of? Or by what you've accepted as just, this is the real, like realistic base, based off of the things of how things have gone before.

13:06Because what went before does not have to be your reference point anymore. Like the past you did not have, like you didn't have the right information. The past you of you following multiple diets or the past you, like of you being surrounded by, like what I'm saying here is bring that awareness, right? The right support. It's not accurate measurement of the current version of you and what that person can do. So what I'm basically saying here is your standards should be set by your capability.

13:42You guys are capable of so much more than what you are giving yourself or how you are showing up for yourself on a daily basis. That is where your standards should be set from. Not based off of your history and what you've done and the people around you and what you grew up in. Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause?

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14:47Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit warriorbabe.com forward slash apply today to start your transformation. That's warriorbabe.com forward slash apply. All right, let's get back to the show. Now, I want you to understand how this plays out. When you have a low standard, when your baseline is flexible, when the floor shifts depending on how you feel or what is going on,

15:20then your behavior will naturally gravitate towards the bottom of that range. Not because, again, not because you're lazy, but because your brain is wired for efficiency. It will always find the lowest energetic path to meeting the minimum expectation. Your comfort zone, what you're used to doing. If your standard is, well, I try to work out most days, guess what your brain is doing? Your brain is constantly going to interpret most as, however, many feels manageable given everything else that is going on.

15:57And in a busy, stressed, seasonful, like you have a full packed life going on, that number is going to tread down. And you never noticed it was happening because technically you were still meeting the standard. You were still trying. But again, like trying is not the standard. Doing is the standard. And here's the ceiling effect. The standard you hold is the highest that you will consistently perform. You might exceed it when you are motivated and extremely disciplined.

16:32You may exceed it some weeks, but you will always come back to it. The standard is then like, the gravity is pulling you back to the baseline. So this means that if your standard is low, if your baseline expectation of yourself is set as a level that does not challenge you, that is comfortable, that does not require your best consistently, that standard will keep you at that level indefinitely. And again, not because you can't do more,

17:02because it's because you decided, even without saying it out loud, like this is like you unconsciously at this level, this is your current level. This is what you're accepting of yourself. So what I believe deeply is that most women are not living at the level of their capability. They're living at the level of what their standard is right now. And those two things are not the same. The gap between what a woman is capable of and what she is currently producing is almost always a standards gap. It's not a genetics gap. It's not this person has more luck than this person does.

17:34It's not a talent gap. It's not an information gap. Like you are capable of more than you are currently holding yourself to. The question then becomes, are you willing to push the floor to be at a higher standard where it is right now? So getting practical, right? Because raising your standards is not just me having a motivational moment with you guys and pouring into you guys and telling you guys to raise your standards. What does that even mean? Okay, so step one would be like, where are you currently at right now?

18:05Identifying your current floor. And I need you all to get honest with yourself. This was in my sermon at church yesterday. Where he was like, people think about it's just luck. It's not luck, y'all. It's taking responsibility and ownership of where you are in your life right now. And then doing the work. Period. So step one is like, where are you at right now? Get honest. You don't got to beat yourself up. You don't got to like tear yourself apart. Just be honest.

18:35What is your actual current standard for your training? What is your current standard for your nutrition? What is your current standard for your recovery, your sleep, for the program that you're following? Not what you aim for in your best weeks. What actually happens on your average week? What do you consistently come back to when life gets hard? That number, that behavior, that is your current standard. And so I want you just to call for what it is. Name it. Write it down. Be honest. And then the next thing would be, okay, decide what the new floor is. Not what you want to achieve, like eventually.

19:08Again, not taking the goals into play. But what you're actually committing to as a new minimum. Like the new non-negotiable baseline. And the key is, the new standard needs to be specific. It's a non-negotiable. Not I will work out more. It's I will strength train three times per week. Regardless of what is going on in my life. Not that I will hit my pro team. What does that even mean? Like, I'm going to make sure that I hit my target of protein every single day. Again, like, you're not going for perfect.

19:40That's not going to happen. But sometimes you will exceed that. And when you fall back down, you're falling back now to this new baseline level. The specificity, specific, you being specific is what makes it a standard rather than an intention. You holding yourself to these standards is what is going to pull you and show you what you are fully capable of. Because nobody is operating, like I said, at their fullest capacity and capability. The third thing I would say is you hold, hold.

20:12You got to hold the line. That's what I would say internally to team. Hold the line even when it's hardest. Standards are not standards until they're tested. Like, the first hard week that you have, the family stress, the sick kid, the work crisis, the travel that happens, is when you find out whether the new floor is actually the floor or just, again, like a good intention that you had when life is easy. This is the moment that decides and defines the standard that you set.

20:43Not the easy week when it's convenient, but the hard week when it would be completely understandable to just let it slide. So here's what I want you to know about. Like, those moments, they are temporary. It passes. The circumstances change. The crisis resolves itself. The week will end. And when it does, if you held the standard, you have proof. You have proof that you can do this. Proof that it becomes the foundation. The next standard is that the next time this happens. This is you, again, like, you set the standard.

21:16And by you following through on these promises that you're keeping for yourself, by you following through on them, even when it gets hard, you're proving to yourself that you can do it. You're proving yourself that the confidence is there. And I'm not saying it's going to happen one week at a time. Give yourself time to implement these standards. If you have a bad week, it's okay. Get back on track the next week. But in the course of four to six weeks, the standards should be pretty set. And this is where I would say the last thing is raise your environment to match it.

21:48Your standards can only go as high as your environment supports. If the people around you do not share your standards, if your environment is constantly pulling against the floor that you're trying to set, maintaining that floor costs enormous energy. Energy that you should be spending elsewhere. This is why community matters so much. Not because you need the validation that you can do these things, but because being around people who hold a high standard for themselves makes your standard feel normal. It makes it feel natural.

22:19People that are working out and moving, oh my gosh, this is normal. This is just expected. And when high standards are the norm around you, holding them stops being this daily fight and starts being just who you are. That's why the environment matters so much. Okay. And to zoom out really quick for a second, because I know that this episode is landing in September. September is like, is like, is the new real new year,

22:51in my opinion. Like summer's over. This is where people are getting grounded. Routines are returning. Kids are back in school. The chaos of July and August are settled. And there's, there's this window right now, like clear, specific time limited window, where the habits and the standards that you set will carry you either into the holiday season with momentum or to January starting all over. And I'll be honest, I've seen it. I've been in the industry for over a decade now. Most women coast from September to January, to earth from September to December.

23:21They tell themselves, oh man, well, the holidays are just too hard to stay consistent. That January is when they'll get serious and I'll get back, back into it. That the next few months are a holding pattern. It's okay. It just January, January 1st comes around, I'll get back on it. And they spend those months like losing ground slowly, quietly in ways that they will not fully realize until they step on that, on the scale or they get back into the gym in January, January and wonder how they got back here again in the first place.

23:51How like, it feels like the years just keep spinning, in the same pattern over and over and over again. The women who walk into January already ahead of it, who have maintained or improved their results through the fall, are not the ones who had more luck or more discipline, or just more time on their hands. They're the ones who did not lower their standard when the season got harder. They decided right now, now with this routine and kids back in school and it being September and the holidays,

24:26the holidays are not a reason to let the floor drop, you guys. A Thanksgiving meal is one meal. It's one meal. It's not a month. Christmas, same thing. The week in between Christmas and New Year's is the time where I'd be like, if you're consistently following a plan all year round, you should be enjoying yourself for that week in between. They shouldn't feel like, I'm rushing to get back into it on January 1. That New Year is not when people start, when, if they've been doing what I've just said they've been doing.

24:58It's when they reflect on how far they've come. And that week in between Christmas and New Year's is like, ah, cool. I can like, I've been just crushing it. I can be a little lax because that's what consistency looks like. And that decision, guys, that decision I'm just talking about is available to you right now. Not January 1st, like literally right now. Like what standard are you setting for yourself in these next four months? Name it. Write it down. Hold yourself to it. The version of you standing come January 1st.

25:28Imagine that. You're on January 1st. You are consistent. You are proud of yourself for following through. You're further along than where you started because you started in a fall. You literally get that decision. You can make that right now. So it's just arguing. Will you? So to wrap up the whole episode today is your standards are not a reflection of who you are. They're a reflection of what you have decided to accept. And decisions can be changed. It's not about the past you.

26:00It's literally about now what you're capable of. The floor is yours to set. Coming out of this episode, thinking about it, whether it's being released on a Friday or Monday, thinking about it through the week, or thinking about it over the weekend, like the ceiling is yours to rise. And you can literally do that by making it a decision and an action plan. And the woman who set a high standard, who defines a real specific non-negotiable baseline for how she shows up for herself, and then holds it through hard weeks,

26:30through busy seasons, through the moments when everything is pulling against her. Oh my goodness, that woman will transform. That woman become more of what she ever thought she was even possible, what are capable. And it's just because she decided that that old floor, that old standard, that where she wasn't operating from, of her full capacity, or not capacity, why do you keep saying that? Capability. She decided that old floor was not good enough for who she is becoming, and what she is capable of.

27:02So my friends, rise the bar, hold it, hold the line, and then watch what these next four months can do for you. Okay? I love you guys. Thank you for letting me lean in, and push you all to be the best you possible. That's what this episode was all about. See you guys in the next one. Peace out. Hey, really quick, before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value, or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button.

27:33Your rating and review make all of the difference, helping more women discover the tools they need to transform the fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.

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