How to Build Self-Discipline for Fitness Goals

Nikkiey: I'm getting peanut butter out of the jar and I'm putting it on whatever I'm putting it on. Dude, immediately just put that shit underneath the water. Seriously, do what you need to do: weigh your peanut butter out, see what macros you're hitting with it, and then shove that spoon right underneath the water.

What's going on, you guys? Welcome to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder and brand personality of WarriorBabe, where we talk about mindset, methodologies and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to episode number 20, all about deep diving into five specific strategies to help you develop your self-discipline muscle.

Guys, this is near and dear to my heart. I feel like it is so important for you to develop self-discipline over relying on motivation. So we're going to deep dive into it today. I'm going to share with you the five top strategies that I specifically incorporated into my discipline routine.

This is really what it takes to hit your fitness goals: developing self-discipline. So many people focus 95% on the diet and the exercise tactics. I've always used this analogy, and you've probably heard it in previous podcasts: that's just the tip of the iceberg. Today I want to talk to you about the strategies that winners focus on and that no one else sees, and that's the mindset tactics. Mindset is one of the pillars of this podcast, and it's the bottom of the iceberg.

It's the grit. It's the determination. It's the persistence. It's showing up for yourself when you don't want to. It's eliminating your excuses. It's the discipline. It's the willpower. It's all of those things that nobody sees. People only see the wins, the success stories, the transformations and the results. That's what everybody sees. Nobody sees the hard work. And this is a part of the hard work that you have to develop, and it's mainly discipline in all of those categories.

So get out a pen and paper. This is going to be a great podcast. If you're driving, take mental notes, then come back, listen to this podcast again and write everything down. Because if you start implementing this today, tonight, tomorrow, the next day, and the more you implement these things, I guarantee you're going to develop the winner's mindset, or even more of a winner's mindset if you already consider yourself a winner.

And listen, 99% of the success that I've experienced has been directly correlated with my ability to act despite how I feel. I'm not always motivated to do shit, you guys. I would say that 80% of the time I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm serious. But I have built the discipline needed to get things done no matter what emotion I'm feeling. You can't rely on motivation to work out or to hit your daily macros. Motivation ebbs and flows. Motivation is solely just an emotion.

And your motivation tank runs out all of the time, right? When it does run out, you just give up and wait for motivation to come again. Sound familiar? I'm sure you've been there, done that. So here's a way to get around that: develop your self-discipline muscle. Seriously, flex that muscle every single day. Rely on discipline, not on motivation. You're not going to be motivated all the time, but the discipline you develop for yourself is what will keep you going.

It's the ability to control your feelings. It's the ability to control your emotions and overcome your weaknesses. It's the ability to pursue what you think is right despite the temptations to abandon it. As simple as this: you feel like you want to have a snack, and you're really excited to have that snack, but you know that snack isn't going to help you or serve you. Discipline is the ability to pursue what you think is right despite the temptations and emotions you have around wanting that snack, and the ability to abandon it and say no.

Another example is motivation to go to the gym. That motivation ebbs and flows. You think I'm motivated every single day to go to the gym? No. I just have the discipline, because I know it's in alignment with my goals and with what I need to do to get to my goals or maintain them. So I show up and I get it done. That's discipline. So I'm excited to share this with you guys. I feel like this will super benefit all of you.

But you've got to take it and you've got to put it to work. And before the five, I have a bonus one for you, and I'm going to kick it off right now. So write down, or take a mental note of, the bonus discipline strategy, and that's consistency. Consistent effort will get you consistent results. Inconsistent effort will get you inconsistent results, my friends. So if you're wondering why you're not getting the results that you want to see, ask yourself: are you being consistent?

And please be honest with yourself, because your goal is to self-check and do what's necessary to gain consistency. I'm serious. I've seen this time and time and time again, coaching clients, in our WarriorBabe community, listening to coaching calls of our coaches, talking to clients in our communities. The coach will ask, are you consistent? Or even for me, when I coached clients, I'd ask, are you consistent? And some of them would say yes, consistent seven days of the week.

And then I'd go back in and look at their MyFitnessPal, and shit's whack. One day is negative 50 grams. One day is over by 50 grams of carbs. Calories are fluctuating by 500, give or take. So, inconsistency. And then I'm going back to the drawing board. They're wondering why they're not seeing results, and I'm like, this is why you're not seeing results. So, are you being consistent?

Ask yourself that question and be honest with yourself. If you're not, self-check and get on the road to consistency. If you are, pat yourself on the back and freaking continue to keep going at it. So that's the bonus one. Consistency is a self-discipline muscle that you need to flex every single day. Consistent effort will get you consistent results. Inconsistent effort will get you inconsistent results. It's not because you're not working out hard enough.

It's not because you're not getting enough sleep. It's not because you're stressed or you don't have enough time that you're not getting the results. You're just not being consistent enough. That may be a hard thing to swallow for some women, but it's the truth, and the truth will set you free, my friends.

Now let's dive into the five top strategies around self-discipline. The first one is resisting impulses. I challenge you to resist all of your urges that are connected to impulses, especially if they don't support you, your goals or your well-being.

And we have a ton of impulses every single day. Like, oh, I just want a snack. Or, I feel like I just want a drink. Or, I feel like I want chocolate, when all your macros are already accounted for for the day. You're at the end of the day and you're like, man, I just want some sweets. Here's another one: I feel like checking my social media, or checking my phone, or checking my post, or checking comments, or checking my emails.

What you need to learn to do is resist those impulses. Examples: I feel like seeing how many people liked my post today. Resist. I feel like checking social media because I'm bored waiting in the elevator or in a meeting. How many times have you been in meetings at work and checked your phone because you're bored and you want to check social media or check this and that? Resist. That is a form of resisting an impulse.

This is a great example: I want to have the extra food left on my kids' plates. How many times have you experienced that? That's an impulse to resist. I want to lick the spoon with all of the extra peanut butter on it. Resist the impulse to do that. Just keep practicing the resistance. Keep practicing resisting that impulse. You feel like you want to take all of the extra bites that are left on the kids' plates because you don't want to waste food.

It's not that you don't want to waste food. It's that you just want to fulfill eating that food. So resist it. Resist that impulse. Those little bites, licks and tastes, guys, add up over time. If you're thinking that you're not seeing results, think back to how many times you do that in a week. That right there is why you could be throwing yourself over by 300 calories, 400 calories, and that's throwing you out of your deficit. Seriously. Resist those impulses.

What will happen is you'll have that impulse, but instead of immediately reacting to it, you'll actually catch yourself. And you'll be like, nope, not today. I don't want these extra bites. Guys, I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to lick the spoon after scooping out the peanut butter. We all probably do this in the kitchen. I know I do. I'm getting peanut butter out of the jar and I'm putting it on whatever I'm putting it on. Dude, immediately just put that shit underneath the water. Seriously, do what you need to do.

Weigh your peanut butter out. See what macros you're hitting with it. And then shove that spoon right underneath the water. It's so insane, because people have trained these loops in their minds so freaking well. For example, going back to the phones and the meetings and checking social media or your emails: when you unlock your phone, and we all have this, I do it too, you simply go straight to a specific app routine.

You open up Instagram, then you open up email, then you open up Facebook, and you do that same order every single time. You may not even notice it. It's straight automatic. And then you become aware that you've been in the vortex for 10 minutes to an hour, just scrolling or consuming that shit. So what's happening here is that your body is moving automatically without it even passing consciously through the mind.

That's how strong those impulses can be. You pick up your phone, you unlock it, you do the certain pattern, and all of a sudden you're on Instagram for an hour. And you're like, holy shit, I just wasted so much time consuming absolutely nothing. That is a specific automatic thing your body is doing without it even passing consciously through your mind.

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That's how strong impulses can be. So when you practice resisting your impulses more and more and more, you'll pick up your phone and consciously catch yourself about to go through this loop.

And it's going to get so easy. Since we've used the peanut butter example so many times: you pull the peanut butter out and you're like, oh, I just want to eat the rest of it off the spoon. No, you're going to catch yourself. You're going to be consciously aware of the situation, and you're going to be like, nope, that's not what I'm doing. That's not what I'm here to do. That's not fulfilling. This isn't supporting me. That's usually what comes to my mind right away when I'm about to do one of these patterns, about to give in rather than resisting the impulse.

I'll be like, no, man, this doesn't support me. Picking up this phone and scrolling right now doesn't support me. I'm just going to waste time. Licking the peanut butter off the spoon, man, that is just a boatload of extra calories. That doesn't support me, right? So embrace the resistance, you guys, and recognize how those actions aren't going to help you. From there, when you become aware that you're about to do it and you're resisting it, you are in control. So that's number one: resist your impulses.

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Number two: love pain. Love pain. Because guess what, guys? Most people avoid pain. And I don't mean the pain of breaking your leg. I mean the pain of physical freaking exertion. When your heart is racing so fast, your muscles are so tired, they're so sore, and you're dripping sweat. That pain. People avoid that. I can't tell you how many times I used to hear clients say they don't want to break a sweat. I'm like, why the fuck are you here? That's not going to happen on my watch. You're going to break a sweat. You're going to be sore. You're going to be tired. And you're going to be questioning your life decisions during this workout.

To this day, I still coach a very, very small group of women, and they still tell me, Nikkiey, I'm cursing your name every workout. And I'm like, great, beautiful, wonderful. We're accomplishing some pain here. Here's what bothers me the most: when people say they don't feel like they're being challenged enough, it's because they aren't pushing to their full potential in their workouts. I know this maybe isn't a problem for some of you. Maybe you're go-getters, pushing to the max, absolutely getting after it. I applaud you all.

But if you find yourself being this person who says, I don't feel challenged enough, or I don't want to break a sweat, or you're just going through the motions, I challenge you to freaking push harder. Push freaking harder. What I just mentioned, learning to love pain, is the only way you are going to build a strong body. Embrace being sore. Embrace the sweat. Embrace the physical exertion. Because you're actually creating a challenging environment that your body is not used to.

And right there, you're reaching metabolic stress in your muscles, which is where the growth happens. This is what I always mean. When I used to train with my coach when I was doing bodybuilding years ago, oh my God, we called the gym the pain cave. It was horrible in such a great way. What he always used to remind me is that the pain is only temporary, but the results are tremendous. So during a tough leg day, I'd be like, all right, dude, this pain is only temporary.

I've got maybe 30 more minutes of feeling like I'm absolutely dying, but after 30 minutes it's going to be beautiful. I'm going to walk outside, the birds are chirping, it's early morning, I absolutely crushed my workout. Gratitude. Done. Hardest part of my day is over. So the pain is only temporary, but the results are tremendous, you guys. Write that down. Stamp that in your brain. Tell yourself that every single time you're in a workout and embracing the physical exertion: this pain is only temporary.

But the results are going to be amazing. Here's some context for you, more of a storyline, on how I personally step it up in the gym in all of my workouts. The strategy I use to work hard is that sometimes I'll take my mind to the darkest alleys. I'll put on Eminem or Linkin Park and go to the darkest experiences in my life. To be completely vulnerable and transparent with you guys, my upbringing was not easy. So I channel those pain points to generate the warrior inside of me.

To just unleash an absolute beast mode, man. Beast mode. Or sometimes it's not dark. Sometimes I'll be reminded of my experience growing up and I'll just be in total gratitude that I did experience that and I'm here now. So I push myself in each of those sets. I push myself in every single rep. I channel that dark or gratitude energy to see the light of my pain, to see the love of my struggles, and to be like, I'm here now and I'm stronger than ever.

For some of you, you use the gym as a stress reliever from work or from your kiddos. You channel that stress to push yourself through the workouts, and after a good one you feel amazing. But if you're just going through the motions, you're not going to feel any different. I guarantee you that. You have to push yourself through physical exertion. You have to be comfortable getting uncomfortable. And from there, you're going to feel relief. You're going to feel insanely good. Even just putting on a badass song helps. If you follow me on social media or you're in my communities, you know I absolutely love the song Unstoppable by Sia.

That is such a powerful song. The chorus repeats three times over the full length of the song, and it's just positive, strong affirmations over and over again. Use that song, or whatever song you love to work out to, to fuel a great workout. This is where you learn to love pain, and that is where you grow to become stronger mentally and physically. So please focus on loving pain. Focus on loving the physical exertion. Focus on sweating.

Focus on your heart racing. Focus on just being alive. That is what this will help you experience: your life. It's so powerful, y'all. So powerful. So that was number two.

Number three: sleep. Guys, sleep is self-discipline, and it is a huge form of self-discipline. Make sure you go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. I know that's easier said than done, but seriously, it's a true test of your self-discipline.

To go to bed and wake up at the same time every single day, you really have to police yourself. You have to wake up to your alarm and actually do it, and you cannot hit the snooze button. You have to stop everything you're doing at night. For me, at 9 o'clock, typically 9 or 9:15, I'm shutting down the TV show or putting down the book, and I'm like, okay, it's time to go to bed. It's time to put myself in bed and fall asleep. You really have to police yourself. How many of you are guilty of this? How many times have you hit the snooze button?

How many times have you been in the middle of watching a show and thought, oh, I'm just going to keep watching? You've got to stop. You've got to get yourself to bed, even if you're in the middle of a movie or a book or whatever. You just have to do it, the same thing every single night. And every single morning, you've got to stop hitting the snooze button and just get out of bed. I think it's Mel Robbins, the five-second rule, right? In the morning, you hear the alarm go off and you've got five seconds to get up.

Count backwards: five, four, three, two, and on one you spring the heck up and go splash your face with some water, or just go immediately. I put my phone nowhere near my bed. It's nowhere near me. It's in the other room. So when the alarm goes off, I have to go get it, and I have to get up. And the thought of lying back in bed is like, no, man, you're not going to do that. So what can you do that's going to keep you from hitting the snooze button?

What can you do at the end of the night so you're like, okay, I'm done watching this show, I'm done reading this book, I'm going to close it down and go right to bed? Because, guys, to get a little science here, this helps your body and your chemicals stay balanced. If you're going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, your body learns that. So it spikes dopamine, it spikes melatonin, it spikes cortisol, all these different chemicals at different times, so that you get sleepy at the right time.

So that you get fired up at the right time, and you're waking up feeling good. If you start screwing with this, or you don't have a solid sleep routine down, you start throwing all of these chemicals in your body off track. You're going to spike cortisol and not be able to fall asleep. You're going to spike melatonin in the morning and be a zombie walking into work. You will wreak havoc on your body if you don't start getting strict with your sleep schedule. I swear. Sleep is such an underrated thing. You probably hear it being talked about more in the industry.

But it is such a key thing for your results and for your self-discipline muscle. I can't stress this strategy enough. This might honestly be one of the most important ones. Just focus on bettering your sleep, and I promise you, you will get faster results. So that was number three.

Let's dive into number four: gratitude. Be grateful. How many of you feel anxious, worrying about what's going to happen in the next five minutes, five days or even the next week? You're always looking into the future, wondering how fast your results are going to come. Two weeks, five weeks, six months? When am I going to see the results the fastest? First off, how the hell do you even know that what you're worried about is going to happen? It's crazy the amount of stories we feed ourselves about situations that may never even freaking occur. But I'll tell you this: if you continue to live in the future and you connect feelings to the situations you think are going to happen,

like doomsday, or I'm never going to see results fast enough, well, that's a different topic for another day, but you will manifest that stuff. Or you'll find reasons to not get the results you want, and you'll take action on those things now. All in all, guys, be present now. The now is all that matters. Stop thinking about it. I know it's easier said than done, because a lot of people's brains are wired this way, but you have no idea what's going to happen in five minutes. You have no idea what's going to happen in five days, and you have no idea what's going to happen next week.

So stop telling yourself, what if this, what if that. You're basing your now on fear, saying, oh, I'm not where I should be, I'm not seeing results fast enough. Yet in reality, in this moment, you really are where you should be. You really are creating results, but you're too hooked on how things should be and not grateful for what you've accomplished so far. So you need to make sure you do gratitude well, that you practice this discipline daily.

You should want things in the future, guys. You should think out into the future. But you should also be grateful for what you've got right now. Be grateful that each day you're given the ability to work out, that you have the option of eating healthy food, grateful that in one month you accomplished what you did, even if it's small. It's still something you did to move yourself closer to your goals. So stop thinking, oh, I'm not where I should be, I'm not seeing results fast enough.

For example, you didn't know how to track macronutrients, and now a month in you're tracking macronutrients faster than you did in the first couple of days. That is freaking huge. That's moving you closer to your goals. So here's a little exercise you can do every day to work on your gratitude muscle. Write it down, guys. Start every morning by writing five things you're grateful for in your journal or on your iPhone notepad. That way you're not focusing on lack as soon as you wake up. A lot of people wake up like, oh, I've got to do this, I've got to get dressed, I'm running around, I'm chasing all the kids.

You're focusing on lack at the beginning of your day, as soon as you wake up. And what do you think? Lack attracts more lack. Start your day off in gratitude, and guess what? When you do this, you will attract more things to be grateful for. So that's number four: gratitude.

The last one, number five, is relentless persistence. Honestly, this is a core value of mine. If I'm not operating from it, I feel insanely off. This goes for planning your days, your weeks, your months, your life, basically.

Plan work, macros, workouts, everything ahead of time, and then stick the fuck to it. Then say no to everything else that is not in alignment with you, your goals and what your family needs. I'm serious. That is absolute persistence: planning everything, following through on it, and saying no to anything that doesn't support you, your family or your needs. Saying no is the most powerful boundary-setting exercise you can do for yourself. Say no to what does not serve you, and you welcome more opportunities into your world that do serve you.

So, despite emotion, despite drama, despite failure, despite uncertainty, if you can manage yourself and be in complete control of yourself, guess what? You can help manage other people. You can help manage your family. You can kick your kids into a good management groove. And even your husband, too. Even your partner. It all starts with you. You need to be the role model. So you need to be hella persistent with all of the things that are going to serve you in getting to your goals. And then when others see your success, your focus and your drive, they're going to ask for your help, or they're naturally going to start adopting your ways.

Your husband's going to see all the things you're doing and be like, oh my God, I want to do this too. Can you help me? So understand, you guys, no one in this world does these things perfectly all the time. But the people who do these things the majority of the time are the ones who win. There are two types of people in this world: people who make excuses and people who make it happen. People who make excuses get absolutely nothing, and people who make it happen get everything. So ask yourself, which one are you going to be today? And make sure you ask yourself that every single morning.

You are a powerful woman. You are a confident woman. You are a persistent woman. You know what you want and what is best for yourself. Serve what you need and let go of what you do not, and everything around you will fall into place. That is absolute relentless persistence: persistence to get what you want, to follow through on what you want, and to eliminate anything and everything around you that does not serve you. Then you're putting yourself on the right track. You're the role model for everybody around you, and people look at you as a superhuman.

I swear, I say that from absolute experience. My family is like, man, Nick, you're a superhuman, you inspired me. Friends are like that too. I lift the people around me up because I'm this driving force for myself. It's like that saying: put your own mask on first before you help others around you. Seriously, do the things that are in alignment with yourself, your goals and your family's needs, and watch how things 10x for you and those close to you. So that's the last one: relentless persistence.

So: relentless persistence, gratitude, sleep, loving pain and resisting impulses. These are the five top strategies, plus of course the bonus one, consistency. These are five strategies to develop self-discipline that you can take right now, today, and start putting into action. You don't have to put all five into action. Take the one that resonated with you the most and start working on it. Start flexing that muscle every single day. Screenshot this, you guys.

Tag me on social media, preferably Nikkiey Stott or WarriorBabe on Instagram, and let me know which one you're going to start working on. I would love to see that. I would love to cheer you on, celebrate you and let you know that you can do it, because guess what? You can. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. I'll see you in the next one.

Real quick: the only ask I could ever have of you is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals and feel insanely confident. The only way we can do that is if you rate, review and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask you to do is leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, it will mean the absolute world to me, and it may change the world of someone else.