How to Eat Healthy When Your Family Eats Differently

Nikkiey: Taking care of your health is not selfish. It is not a burden on your family. It is, quite frankly, one of the most important things that you can model for the people that you love. You are not required to eat the same thing as everybody else at every meal. You are not obligated to put your health goals on hold because someone else's preferences are different. When dinner is not going your way, you can always add protein from what you already have. So I would always recommend: always have a prepped protein ready to go.

What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkiey Stott. On these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident.

So today, with summer coming up and a lot of women staying focused on their goals, I think this is a very practical, frustrating challenge that a lot of women face. And I want to bring this to the episode today because I don't feel like a lot of women get a real answer. You are tracking your macros, you're prioritizing your protein, you're trying to eat well, especially going into summer. You're building the habits and they're working. But at home, maybe your partner wants something different than what you're eating, or your kids want something different than what you're eating. Everybody sitting at the table is counting on something different.

And then staying on track feels like it requires either cooking two completely separate meals every single night, or having a family argument over dinner and not everybody being happy about what they're eating. I hear this constantly. And I feel like the advice given back to women is very vague. It's like, oh, just meal prep on Sundays for everybody, or just create these healthy swaps. And while that's helpful advice, it doesn't give enough depth on what to actually do, tactically or practically, in an everyday situation.

So I want to talk about actual strategies. I want to talk about meal planning, cooking logistics, social dynamics, the mindset piece of it. And hopefully you can take this into your household and everybody can be happy, and you can be happy with the goals that you're going after.

Before I get into the tactical things, I just want to address something that I think is underneath a lot of this struggle, for women in particular. There's a lot of guilt that comes with eating differently than your family. Like you're being too high maintenance, or you're being too difficult, or you're making things harder for everybody else. Like your needs are an inconvenience. And that guilt, more than the logistics, is often what makes women abandon their nutritional goals the moment that they get home.

Right. It's not the logistics. With the logistics, if you just think about it strategically, you can make it happen. It's more so the guilt and what you're feeling. That is often why you go, whatever, I'm just going to cook dinner for everybody and I'm going to appease everybody.

So I just want to say this directly to you. Maybe you're like, that is me. You're raising your hand right now, or in your mind you're like, yeah, Nikkiey, you're speaking right to me, and you're experiencing that type of guilt. Taking care of your health is not selfish. It is not a burden on your family. And it is, quite frankly, one of the most important things that you can model for the people that you love. So I just want to rewrite that narrative in your mind. You are not required to eat the same thing as everybody else at every meal. You are not obligated to put your health goals on hold because someone else's preferences are different. OK.

And you're not made to make four different dinners to accommodate everybody. We all have responsibilities as women on a day-to-day basis. You take care of your kids. You go to work, if you work. You're taking care of the household. You're taking care of your husband. You have all these responsibilities. You don't need to be making four different meals to make everybody happy. What you are is a person with a goal that matters. Your health matters. And most importantly, it's going to be a model when you put yourself first in this situation.

It is not selfish, because everybody else is going to see what you are doing, and it's going to inspire. I've heard so many husbands, along women's journeys, be inspired by the actions that the woman is taking in the household to better herself when it comes to eating right and working out. OK. You are a person with a goal that matters, and you need to protect that.

Now, with me saying that, that's the strong foundation that I want you to build for yourself, especially as we move through the rest of this episode and through the rest of your days. You are a model. It is not a burden to your family. And taking care of your health is not selfish. OK. Having those goals should not be a burden.

Now, what to actually do practically with that? I have seen women in WarriorBabe over the years take this specific tactic, and I've seen it work for women cooking for a family with different eating needs. I want to share that with you guys because it's a lot simpler than it sounds.

So the concept itself: instead of cooking one complete meal that either fits your nutrition or your macros or doesn't, you cook components separately and let everyone build their own plate. Here is what that looks like in practice. You make a protein. You make grilled chicken, ground beef, shrimp, whatever. You make the protein. You make a starch. You can make rice, pasta, potatoes, bread. You make the starch, the carb. And you make a vegetable. And everybody builds from there.

Granted, this is more so speaking to the early phases of your journey, because hopefully along the way, this is almost like the stepping stone you have to get to the next level, and the next level after that. Hopefully in the long term, everybody will want to eat the protein, the starch, and the vegetable that you made. But maybe your husband or your partner wants tons of pasta on his plate, and he loads up on the starch, and he skips the vegetable, he skips the protein. You can allow your partner to do that, because you made the protein, you made the starch, and you made the vegetable. Now they get to choose.

Your kids build their version, and then you build yours. You can build it heavy on the protein, heavy on the vegetables, and a little bit on the carbs, or whatever you need depending on where your macros are after the day. It's still one cooking session. It's one kitchen mess. But everyone eats something that they want. And you are not trapped eating something that doesn't serve your goals or cooking a completely separate meal.

This is one of the stressors that I've seen with women first starting their journey. They feel like they have to make this meal for their partner and their kids, and then they have to make another meal for themselves and their goals. It's like, no. Make one whole meal, one cooking session. The quantity of what people want is up to them to grab.

Now, the key to making this work is you have the protein and the vegetable at the center of every dinner. OK? It's not a one-dish meal where everything is mixed together, especially earlier in your journey. As you level up and level up, you can do the one-dish meal where you know there's a lot of protein in it. You can portion out the dish for yourself, and the rest of the family can have the portion that they want. But you're controlling the portions early on in the journey. OK? When the components are separate, you have that control.

This works beautifully for things like taco night, stir-fry nights, or bowl nights. Anything where people are assembling their own plates. This is what I would recommend early on in the journey. These are your best friend as a woman trying to eat for your goals in a household that isn't yet. And I say yet because, trust me, as you consistently keep doing this, the majority of the time your family is going to grab onto it. And they're going to be like, OK, Mom, just make whatever. Make the one-pan dishes. Make the casserole. Make X, Y, and Z. And then you're able to control the portions of it, like I said. OK?

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Like I said, the protein has to be the anchor at every single meal. You don't need to cook completely different food. You just need to anchor every family meal around a protein, and then you add around it for everybody else. OK? If your family wants spaghetti, like I used in that example, then you make the meat, which is your protein, and you cook the pasta for them. Then they combine the two if they want to. Or you have a smaller portion of pasta, or you skip it, depending on where your goals are at for the day. And whatever is left over can be taken for lunch the next day. But no matter what, the protein is always there.

If your family wants burgers, then you have the patties for everybody. That's the protein. Your husband gets all of the fancy things: the buns, the fries, all of the works. And maybe you don't have carbohydrates left for the evening. Or maybe you do, but you can't have a full bun. So it's like, OK, the protein is there. You have the patty. Now you can have a side salad, or you can have a small portion of sweet potato fries. Same protein is cooked. There are just differences in the carbs and the vegetables on the side.

So the most important thing is that you are having the protein as an anchor. It's probably one of the most important things. And it starts shifting your family's meals in a healthier direction without everyone feeling like they're being put on a diet. More protein at the center of the meal is a net positive for everybody sitting at the dinner table with you, even if the sides look different.

I grew up in a household that didn't prioritize protein, or it was a little portion of protein and the carbs were the center of the show, or fats, or the side salad. Now, flipping that is what you guys have control of. You already know protein is like an epidemic in the fitness space. We know women don't get enough protein. So if you make protein the center of your meals moving forward, it is just an overall positive addition to your family's dinners, even if the carbs, whether it's rice, pasta, or bread, look different and the vegetables look different. OK.

That's probably the most practical, efficient strategy that I can offer, and what I've seen women implement in their journeys with husbands or partners who aren't yet on board with eating the way you want to eat, or kids who aren't. You don't have to make a million different meals. OK. Make one, and they can choose the quantity that they want from the protein, carbs, and vegetables that you're making. OK.

Now, navigating social dynamics is another thing. And I think this is where a lot of women actually struggle the most, because food is not just fuel in a family context. It's love. It's a tradition. In some cultures, it is connection. And when you are eating differently, it can feel to the people around you like you are opting out of something, even when you're not. Maybe your mom is first-generation Greek or first-generation Arabic, or fresh off the boat, and they want to give this lavish meal. They love cooking because it's a form of love. It's a form of tradition. And you have a goal, so you want to eat differently. And that, to your mom or to a relative, can feel like, well, you don't love me. That's how they could be taking it.

That can be a struggle. That can be a guilt. So to help you with that, one thing that I would say is have a conversation, and have it clearly, without an apology. I used to have to do this when I was in bodybuilding. I had the goal in mind, but Easter came around, and I've told you guys that story before, or Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or the holidays, where eating was a form of connection. I had to tell my family, look, I'm working on my nutrition goals right now, and I'm going to be eating a little bit differently for a while. I'm not asking anybody else around me to change. I just want you to know that my plate is going to look a little bit different, or that I've brought my meals with me, because my goals require this of me.

It's one conversation, and you don't need to justify it at every single meal. You don't need to make a big deal of it at every single meal. You just need to have that one conversation. And you're not responsible for the responses that you get from the person you were telling. How they respond is their own acceptance or non-acceptance of it. They may feel some type of way, but you are not responsible for taking on the burden of how they're responding to you. It may hurt because it's a loved one, but you have to keep in mind the goals that you have.

And it's not forever. It's just for a season, maybe at the beginning of your journey, where your goals require you to show up differently in those situations, because these are habits you have to instill, so you can start to believe and trust yourself that you're able to do that in those types of situations. OK. It's just for a season, but it is required of you when you have this type of goal in mind.

Another one: I wouldn't moralize your food choices at the table. Meaning, if you're eating a salad, or you're eating a smaller quantity than your husband or your partner, and they have this massive mound of pasta, you need to resist the urge to comment on that difference. This is hard, but it is important. And in either direction: your husband needs to resist the urge too, and you need to resist the urge toward him. Not justifying it and not being apologetic. Not being like, sorry, I'm on this thing, or sorry, I'm just trying to focus on my habits and eat better. No, just eat your food. The less you make a thing about it, the less it becomes a thing. OK.

Another thing I would say is protect your goals without policing theirs. Your job is to manage your own plate, not to reform your entire household's eating habits, at least not just yet, especially if you're just starting your journey. Again, I'm going back to that because along the way, you will notice that the household eating habits are going to change. OK. So don't just start dumping vegetables into everything or making everyone feel judged for what they're choosing, or saying, we're all starting to eat this way. Not everybody may be on board with your goals. Nobody can really understand your goals, because you're the only one who can see them. So don't change everything all up at the beginning. You need to eat your way. They need to eat theirs. That's the most sustainable at the beginning, at least. And it also creates a respectful dynamic, and it keeps the dinner table a positive place, which matters for long-term consistency in your goals more than most people realize.

So those are just a few things I would recommend in the social and emotional dynamics that you take into context, and how that can help. Because the logistics, like I said earlier, are protein, carb, and vegetable, and people can make their own quantity of it. Social dynamics are a little bit different: having the conversation with your family, making sure that you're not moralizing your food choices at the table, so not judging or justifying or being apologetic, and protecting your goals without dumping your goals onto everybody else. In time, they will feel and notice and change their own ways around your goals. And that offers long-term consistency, like I said. OK.

So a practical thing that I would recommend, something you always have on hand in the fridge or in the pantry: one, you always have prepped protein ready. Whether it's a rotisserie chicken from the store, or batch-cooked ground turkey, or hard-boiled eggs in the fridge, which is something my dad loves to do, or grilled chicken from Sunday prep ready to go. You have a protein source that is already cooked and ready to go. And that changes everything. When dinner is not going your way, you can always add protein from what you already have. So I would always recommend: always have a prepped protein ready to go.

I would also recommend keeping frozen protein on deck. Keep frozen shrimp, frozen salmon fillets, or frozen chicken breasts, because these can cook in under 15 minutes and they require zero prep. So on nights when the family dinner is mac and cheese, or it's heavy on pasta, you can have shrimp on the stovetop in less than 10 minutes alongside it. You can have shrimp and mac and cheese. Trust me, macros get weird sometimes, but that's making it work for you, especially, and I keep going back to this, in the early stages. And then have vegetables ready to go alongside your anchor. Those are just some things I would always have ready to go on hand, especially the protein. OK.

So to wrap up this podcast today, I wanted to keep it short and simple, but I wanted to address this conversation with you guys, because I feel like it's something that comes up especially as we go into summer, and especially if you're starting your journey, when the family dynamics can be a little bit different as you focus on your goals. I don't want you guys to feel guilty about your goals or selfish about how you're showing up. There's a way that two worlds can exist: you and your goals, and still your family and how they want their food prepared for themselves. OK.

But to wrap it up: you are not responsible for changing your family's eating habits. You're responsible for managing your own plate. The build-your-own strategy gives you control without cooking separate meals. Make protein the anchor. That method is one of the absolute game changers that will help you in your journey. The social dynamics are manageable when you communicate them, and you communicate them once, without an apology, and you focus on your own choices without policing everyone else's. And keep the prepped food on hand: prepped protein, vegetables, or frozen options as an easy out. All of those are what make this sustainable in a real, busy household and make your goals sustainable. OK.

Now, if you guys aren't yet a part of our WarriorBabe community, I would highly recommend that you get inside our free Facebook community. It's full of women navigating exactly this, and they are sharing what works. They're supporting each other through the real-life logistics of trying to eat well in a world that is not always set up to help you do that. And it's completely free. So come inside; the link is in the show notes. And I just ask that you share this episode with a woman who has maybe been using her family as a reason why she can't stay consistent, because this episode will give her the tools to be able to do both. All right. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode, and I will see you in the next one.

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