How to Stick to Your New Year's Resolutions After 40

Nikkiey: How many times have you guys set a goal like, I want to lose 10 pounds, or I want to get toned? And how many times have those goals left you feeling unmotivated or even discouraged when progress felt slow? The reason is that those types of goals are focused on outcomes, and outcomes alone won't keep you going. Every day, every second, every minute is a new chance to move closer to your goals. So it's not about being perfect, it's about progress.

I want to talk about aligning your goals with that future self that you are stepping into. Whether you know it or not, where you are right now is different than the person that you want to become. What that looks like right now is different than where it could be in April, in July, in October. This is something that I'm extremely passionate about. I talked about this in an earlier episode where we talked about reprogramming subconscious beliefs and upgrading the system of our paradigm. Think about it like an app or a phone. The operating system gets upgraded all of the time. That's essentially what you should be doing for yourself day in and day out, week after week, month after month, because every human wants to grow. So this is just a part of the growth process. The apps need to be updated in the operating system with better habits so that you can fulfill on supporting the system upgrade, with new updated apps, following through with all of the new software that's happening. You know what I mean?

So it's the same thing that comes into play when you're talking about transforming your entire journey and aligning your goals with your higher self. The goals that you strive for, the results you want to have or see, will require you to be different and do different things: different behaviors, different habits, different thoughts, different actions than what you're doing right now. And so I want to help you guys align those goals with the person that you need to become in order to fully achieve them.

Just for context of why I'm so passionate about this, you guys: I was unconsciously competent 10 years ago and was doing this without knowing that I was fulfilling on these types of strategies or concepts I'm talking about. What I mean by that is I was your 2015 New Year's resolution baby. I went into the new year coming off of a breakup. I was engaged at that time, and I wanted to be more confident. I wanted to step into my personal power. I wanted to have different results within my body. I wanted it to be strong. I wanted to have muscle. I wanted to achieve all of these things for myself. But clearly I wasn't in that state of body or mind then.

I had these concepts. I had this idea of a higher self, or the vision of who I wanted to be, in my mind when I was lying in my bed sobbing after the breakup, just thinking, I can't be like this forever. But it feels like you're going to be like that forever. And I was playing in my head the things I wanted to do, how I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be different than I was then. I deserve so much more. All of those things that I'm sure you guys think about on a daily basis.

And so I started to create action, and I didn't realize I was unconsciously, competently doing that. I was Pinterest-ing and looking at workouts and saving pins of a back workout or an arm workout. And I would go into the gym, scared to walk into the weight room, but knowing that my higher self was calling me, that I had to go into the weight room. The first couple of times I walked into the gym, I walked right up to the cardio equipment, because that felt safe and that felt comfortable, and I knew how to operate those machines. That happened a couple of times. But then I recognized that I needed to lift weights in order to achieve this vision that I had for myself. So I had to get uncomfortable and walk into the weight room. I was driving myself with these actions of how my future self was showing up, and bringing that future self closer and closer on a daily basis.

Then I started seeing things on Instagram of the bodies that I wanted to have, and I wasn't necessarily comparing myself at this time. Or maybe I was, but I recognized that if they can do it, I can do it too. And that's the same notion for you guys. If you're seeing this on social media, or you see somebody that has the results that you want, it's not necessarily "don't compare yourself to them," but recognize that you can accomplish those same things.

So then I started dreaming about these bodies. No joke, it went down to that level. I was immersing it into my subconscious mind without knowing all of these concepts I've been sharing with you guys recently. Your brain doesn't know the difference in time. So when you see this in your reality, or you see this in your mind, in your vision, and then you attach an emotion to it, that's what I was doing. I was getting excited. I was feeling proud. I was feeling appreciative. I was grateful. I started creating these emotions attached to this vision, while I was still myself in human form that didn't have the body or the confidence, but was still trying to show up for that person.

And when you attach the vision and an emotion together, watch how things start showing up in your reality. Because what happened to me is, when I was dreaming this, and I talked to my family about it, and I was speaking it out loud and attaching emotion to it, I was like, I want this, I want this, I want this. God, higher power, whatever you believe in, put it into somebody else. When I walked into the gym, the general manager asked, are you working to compete or be a bodybuilder or whatever? I shared my entire story in episode one of the podcast, but I wanted to tie this in really quickly with you guys because it all comes together. He said that, and I was like, no, but funny that you say that, because that's kind of what I'm going for. All of this dreaming, sharing it with friends and family, starting to show up and go to the gym and start strength training, one thing was leading to another. And voila, he hooked me up with a bodybuilding coach.

And from there on is history: me transforming my body, me competing, me winning, me going pro, me going into my second show, winning, going pro in a different federation. Then me going into my third show and competing and winning, and that's where I beat the pros. So I left my bodybuilding career undefeated, and also with the confidence, the discipline, and the physical body results that I wanted. I'm not saying that you have to go be a bodybuilder to do this. This is just how God worked through me to give me this outcome and who I wanted to become.

So this is what I want to talk about in this episode today. It's not just about setting goals like I want to lose weight, or I want to fit into my favorite jeans, or I want to have more muscle and be toned. Those goals are fine on the surface, but they're not going to carry you through tough moments. They won't push you forward when your motivation fades, when your progress is slower, when life throws you off track. What will carry you forward is your connection to that higher self, to that vision, to that feeling, to the most empowered, most confident, most authentic version of you. That's what I want to talk about today: how to tap into that version of yourself and how to create goals that are aligned with the person that you are becoming, not just the results that you are chasing.

OK, let's get real for a second. How many times have you guys set a goal like, I want to lose 10 pounds, or I want to get toned? And how many times have those goals left you feeling unmotivated or even discouraged when progress felt slow? The reason is that those types of goals are focused on outcomes, and outcomes alone won't keep you going. Why? Because outcomes are external. They're tied to things outside of you. And when things outside of you get tough, like when you don't see progress as fast as you want, or right away, or in the first three months of the new year, because that's when everybody dips out, come April, that motivation fades. You start to doubt yourself, and you wonder, why am I even doing this?

But when you set goals that are tied to who you are becoming, when your goals are connected to your identity and your values, you stay committed even when it is hard. So here's an example. Instead of saying, I want to lose weight, ask yourself, why do I want to lose weight? Maybe it's so that you feel confident playing with your grandkids. Maybe it's so you can wake up feeling energized instead of exhausted. Maybe it's so you can walk into a room and feel powerful and confident, stand in your presence, be grounded, and know your self-worth and your self-value. That's your why. And that why is what is going to carry you through the tough moments. When your goals are rooted in your values, when your goals are rooted in your vision, they become magnetic. They pull you toward that future self. They pull you forward even when the motivation fades. That's what it means to set goals that are in alignment with your higher self.

So this is where the magic happens. Take a moment to imagine your ideal life. What does that look like? How does your body feel? How do you show up for yourself every day? How do you treat your body, your mind, your health? How are you talking to it? How are you talking in this ideal life? How are you carrying yourself? What does confidence look like? What does it look like when you walk into a room? How do you feel? You can't walk into a room and feel like I'm not enough, because your future self ain't like that. Your future self walks into a room like, here I am, people. This vision is your north star. It's the thing that will guide every decision that you make from this point moving forward. Every workout that you choose to do, every meal that you choose to eat, every time you show up for yourself, it's all a part of your bigger vision.

Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or review, or share it with someone who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me.

I want to help you guys take inventory of where you are in relation to the goals that you set for yourself, because this is where things start to get real. You've already had the initial excitement of setting resolutions or goals, and this is where it starts to wear off. Now it's about how you're showing up when that hype fades, when the first week of the new year is done and you recognize that life is happening. The time that I set aside for my goals in the first week is hard to keep up moving into the second week. And that's where you go into, I don't have enough time.

So the first question I want to ask you is: did I set clear, specific goals for the new year? Pause, reflect, be honest with yourself. The second question I would ask you is: have I been consistent in taking action towards those goals? Pause, ask yourself that question, be honest with yourself. And the last one I would ask you is: am I seeing progress? Are you seeing progress or non-scale victories?

If the answer is yes, I am giving you a huge virtual high five. Good job. Because seriously, staying consistent is one of the hardest things to do. It's no small feat, and you should be super proud of yourself for that. This is where progress happens, when you keep showing up even when it's hard. For some of you guys, like I said a couple of minutes ago, you crush it your first week, but then in your second week you recognize that the time you allotted for your goals in the first week isn't matching up. Well, you just have to get a little bit more strategic with your time. Really look at your calendar and ask, when can I commit to getting my workout in? Set that on your calendar, or however you take inventory of your days and plan them. If that is you, and you said yes to all of those, that you set specific goals, that you have been consistent, and that you are seeing progress, and it doesn't have to be physical, it can be mental or emotional, then virtual high five. I'm cheering you on. I'm super proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself.

If your answer is no, or if you're thinking, I haven't been consistent, that's okay too. This is your opportunity. I want you guys to give yourself grace in that, because if you're anything like me, I'm learning that if I don't do something right, it's a part of my perfectionist mentality. It's funny, because I have dealt with not being consistent in my own ways with fitness and nutrition, and now I'm dealing with it in other areas of my life. It's funny how you recognize that how you do one thing is how you do everything. Even though I've worked through that with nutrition and working out, it's about giving yourself grace: okay, here it is popping up again, and this is a level and opportunity of growth that I can seize now.

So it's the same thing here. If you haven't been consistent, that's okay. Give yourself grace. Do not beat yourself up. Do not say that you are a failure. Do not reject yourself. Do not go into a spiral and a rabbit hole and find yourself all the way at the bottom where you can't see the top. I say that because I know, and I've been in your shoes. This is your opportunity to get back on track. The worst thing that you can do is what I just said: beat yourself up or throw in the towel. So I want you to reframe this as a chance to refocus and to recommit, because what's done is done. You can't do anything about yesterday. You can't do anything about two days ago. You can't do anything about five days ago. If you haven't been consistent, that's okay. You can't change any of that.

What you can do is reframe your mental state right now and focus on recommitting and moving forward. What you can do something about is today, right now. Don't wait until Monday. Don't wait until February 1st. Don't wait until March 1st. There's no perfect time. The time is right now. Maybe you woke up this morning, before listening to the podcast, and you didn't get your workout in. Do you have time later in the day? Can you move things around? It's literally a snap of a finger. You have the control to change how you navigate the rest of the day. It's up to you. It's your choice. You can continue to wallow in the mindset of beating yourself up and waiting until Monday. Or you can literally change that in the snap of a finger and say, okay, I'm just going to recommit and refocus. I have the rest of the day to make good nutritional choices. And maybe if I can't get my workout in, I can at least focus on getting 10K steps in.

It's that easy. It's literally that easy. You guys just complicate it, get in your head and go too far. I can say that because I've been there, and I'm saying it with love. I want you guys to recognize and bring self-awareness to this truth: you can change things in a matter of seconds. Here's the deal. Every day, every second, every minute is a new chance to move closer to your goals. So it's not about being perfect. It's about progress. Whether you've been crushing it so far or you're struggling to get started, this is the opportunity to refocus, reframe, recommit and move forward. Again, a matter of seconds. You have the choice to do that right now.

Thousands of women go through this feeling after a holiday. They step on the scale, freak out, only to get back on track and then see it go down by the end of the week. So I don't want you all to feel this type of way. I promise you, being more compassionate and more kind with yourself, you're going to be able to enjoy today rather than feeling like, ugh, I'm sluggish, my body feels so heavy, my body hurts. Your body is just trying to catch up. It's processing the feast. And that's not a flaw to beat yourself up over.

And if you didn't get enough sleep, that's only going to make the narrative in your head worse. You're going to have those loud thoughts like, why did you do that? You suck. All those thought processes are probably going on in your brain. I know what happens to me. If I don't get a good night's sleep consistently for a couple of days, my brain goes, why did you do that? Oh, you're disgusting. It's just because you didn't get a good night's sleep. You didn't feed your body. And the shame, dude, the shame spiral starts when we resist the natural bounce back. But if you acknowledge it with empathy, be kind to yourself and don't judge yourself, then you're already ahead. Because the shame spiral can lead you into the whole week. It can lead you into next week. It can lead you into the week after that.

Dude, you've marked the experience. You had a good time. You honored it. And now you're ready to choose to move forward. What is in the past doesn't need to come into today, and it doesn't need to go into the rest of the week. So that's literally the first step: normalizing the reset, not punishing yourself for living, for having a good time.

I hope that you all had a great holiday and a great weekend. If this resonates with you, or with somebody else, maybe an aunt or a friend or somebody you were with over the weekend who needs to hear this too, please go and share this with them. I don't want you all to feel like you need to beat yourself up, restrict yourself, eat less and move more, all that jazz. You don't need to be doing that today. Kindness. No judgment. Clarity. Move forward, with some action steps that are going to get you back on track.

So if somebody needs to listen to this as well, share it with them. Tag me on Instagram, tag @NikkieyStott or tag The WarriorBabe Show. I want to celebrate the comeback together with you guys. Love you guys, and I will see you in the next episode. Peace out.

Real quick: if this episode resonated with you or gave you the push that you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review, share the podcast with someone who might need it, and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so much for your support. Thank you.