How to Stop Food Cravings Without Restrictive Dieting

Abbey: I was really obsessed with sugary cereal. And when you get in your head that you can't have, for me, sugary cereal, I just want to eat it all. It's all I can think about. It's such a mind suck. It's food noise. As soon as I started to find ways to add that sugary cereal to my diet, it just was knocked off its pedestal. It lost its allure. It was just another food.

Nikkiey: What's going on, everybody? Hey, you guys. Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. Today I've got an incredible guest joining us. This is Abbey Sharp. She is a registered dietitian. She's a content creator. She's the host of her own podcast called Bite Back with Abbey Sharp. And she's co-founder of Neue Theory. Am I saying that right?

Abbey: Yes, you are.

Nikkiey: All right. And that is a gut-friendly supplement brand for women. Guys, Abbey is known for keeping it real when it comes to food, nutrition and body image. And I love the way that she brings science, honesty and a fresh perspective to the wellness space. It's something that very much aligns with WarriorBabe and the brand that you guys listen to. So, Abbey, I'm excited that you're here. Let's dive into it. Welcome to the show.

Abbey: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to chat.

Nikkiey: All right. So, you've built a powerful voice in the nutrition space and the wellness space. Before we dive in, can you share what initially drew you into this field? What made you so passionate about helping others navigate topics like food, body image and health with the compassion that you have? What led you into this space?

Abbey: Totally. So, not that different from a lot of my colleagues. I suffered from an eating disorder in my late teens. And there are surprisingly very high rates of eating disorders or recovered eating disorders in nutrition students and nutrition professionals. And I think that comes from our own experience. I started studying nutrition probably because I was in this eating disorder. I was obsessed with eating clean and healthy eating. And through my education, I was able to start to unpack that and unlearn some of these unhealthy, obsessive behaviors, and really realize the moral weight I was putting onto food and how unhealthy that actually was.

Once I dug deeper into the science, I was able to get better in tune with my own body's needs and uncouple the foods I was choosing from my own worth. Once I became a registered dietitian, I knew I wanted to speak out against the dangers of diet culture, because they burned me bad. And this was before social media. I was struggling when I was 18, 19. There was no TikTok at this time. There was no body checking nonstop online. I can only imagine how much harder it would have been for me to go through that when I was constantly bombarded by the nonstop restrictive messaging and the body checks.

So watching this all unfold now, as a person on the other side of recovery, I knew I had to speak out. I knew I had to help people understand the dangers of a lot of this content, not just for physical health, but also for emotional health. These are things that women, young and old, are struggling with. They struggle with them their whole lives. That was really the inspiration for going into the field.

Where I really got my name known: there was a very popular frugivore, basically a raw fruitarian vegan YouTuber at the time, who was making videos recommending just eating fruit. And there were countless young girls messaging me saying, I'm just eating fruit and I'm gaining so much weight, or my blood sugars are out of control, or blah, blah, blah. And I was like, we've got to unpack this as a team here, folks. So that's really where my brand took off. And I've been essentially dismantling diet culture, debunking myths and trying to demystify a lot of the pseudoscience and fear mongering that we see really take hold on social media today.

Nikkiey: That's so powerful. I want to navigate a few things with you on this episode, the first being the rise of SkinnyTok. You've spoken out about the dangers of SkinnyTok. Can you explain what it is for those that maybe have not heard of it? And then also, why is it so pervasive?

Abbey: Yeah, those are great questions. So if you are lucky enough to not have been on SkinnyTok or gone down that rabbit hole, it's essentially a subculture on TikTok that's glorifying extreme fitness, often promoting disordered behaviors under the guise of wellness or health or discipline or even femininity. And it's really this algorithm-driven rabbit hole where users see video after video after video of unrealistic body ideals, very restrictive, low-calorie what-I-eat-in-a-days, inspo images repackaged with pastel fonts and wellness hashtags. And all of this is bound up in messaging suggesting that discipline is a moral virtue, and it weaponizes a lot of the language around self-care to actually be about suffering.

And it's hugely dangerous because it's essentially glamorizing and normalizing disordered eating and body dysmorphia. And it doesn't just influence how people are eating. It's really about how people are thinking about their bodies and other people's bodies and their worth and their health. It perpetuates fatphobia and weight stigma. So it really is an unhealthy echo chamber for a lot of people to find themselves in. Because once you watch one or two of these videos, it seems like everyone around you is participating in this way of thinking about food, with these insanely restrictive mantras. Like, if your stomach is grumbling, if you're hungry, think of it as applause. And if you are too tired to go for your walk today, call yourself a fat pig and oink at yourself.

It was mind-boggling for me at first to see this start, especially when I felt like we had made such progress with the body positivity movement and body neutrality. But I think there are two reasons why this has really taken off.

One is that we spent so long in this wellness culture interpretation of diet culture, where we were talking about clean eating and people going on detoxes or cleanses. No one was talking about their weight, because it wasn't cool to talk about weight or weight loss or getting skinny. We were talking about cleansing or detoxing or doing things to make us feel good. But the subtext was always still trying to get thin. It was always the sneaky subtext. And people are waking up to the fact that this girl who is fit and beautiful on Instagram or TikTok is saying she's eating an 800-calorie smoothie bowl, but she's still a size 00. And that doesn't check out in my mind, because I'm barely eating anything and I can't lose weight. So I think people were waking up to the reality that what they see online might not actually be reality. And SkinnyTok comes in and says, I'm going to tell you what you need to know, not what you want to know. I'm going to be totally honest about what it takes to look like this. And people wanted that.

The other piece here is the Ozempic era that we're in. Thinness has always been this moral value and status symbol. But with widespread access to weight loss injections like Ozempic and Mounjaro, thinness becomes explicitly transactional. If you can afford it and you can find a doctor to prescribe it, you can buy thinness. You can bypass maintaining thinness the quote-unquote hard way. And so there's this moral counter-movement with this no pain, no gain mantra, because this is threatening those who have built identity capital around being thin and doing so the quote-unquote hard way.

Nikkiey: Yeah, it's scary, right? It feels like the language has been that we have to punish our bodies in order to get the result. And anybody watching these videos who wants to really pursue being healthy for themselves is so impressionable when they're listening to people online who claim to be experts, yet they're saying these narratives, which is crazy.

And I'm glad you brought up Ozempic. I was going to make a podcast episode out of this, but it's good that we're talking about it right now. I was sitting in the sauna yesterday and there was this woman, and you could hear the struggle in her voice. She looked at me and said, wow, you have really nice arms. I said, thank you so much, I appreciate that. She said, yeah, I just lost like 43 pounds within the last year. I said, wow, that's awesome. How did you do it? She said, I've been taking Mounjaro. And then you could just hear the decline in her voice. She said it made her lose all of her muscle and it made her hormones flip upside down. And she said, yeah, I went that route. And I said, it's okay that you did. I don't want you to feel like you're broken or like something's wrong with you. But there's another way out of it. There's a positive way that you can lean off of it.

And just like your message too, I don't want women to think it's the end-all be-all because social media is saying you should do this and it's a quick way to get results. I love that you brought that up and that this is your message and what you speak on.

You mentioned body positivity. Just a few years ago, we saw that huge body positivity wave online. How did we shift so quickly back into this thin-obsessed content? Is it because of the algorithm, or is it deeper than what we're consuming? Is it more our perspectives and mentalities? Why do we dive back into it so quickly?

Abbey: There are probably a lot of reasons, social reasons. There's no question that weight loss injections have probably played a role, because thinness is just more accessible to people in some ways. And it really started with celebrities, because they are the first to have access to a lot of these opportunities. All of our plus-size or larger-bodied celebrities, role models and influencers started to shrink. And so the representation shrinks. What we see over and over again just becomes normalized, until it's like, of course you go on Ozempic. It started out as this fringe thing, like, oh my God, you're going to take a weight loss injection? And now you can speak to anybody who lives in L.A. or California and it's like, yeah, everybody I know is on Ozempic.

So I think there's that. And I think something also has to be said for the general state of the world right now. There's a lot of uncertainty in basically every single aspect of life, whether it's political, AI, financial, economic, all of those things. And so we feel that our bodies are one of the only things we can actually control. I think that may have played a bit of a role too. It's almost like a project. And again, once we see it a couple of times, the algorithm blows it up and it seems like everybody's thin now, and the expectation is that you shall be too.

Nikkiey: Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, WarriorBabe is here for you. At WarriorBabe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results, and results that last. Don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit WarriorBabe.com/apply today to start your transformation. That's WarriorBabe.com/apply. All right, let's get back to the show.

Crazy, crazy, crazy. So you have such a large platform. How do you navigate speaking up while staying so grounded in your message and not getting sucked into the trends? The way I look at it, they're just repackaging all of the old quick fixes in a different way. So how do you stay so grounded and not get sucked into these trends?

Abbey: Yeah, I think for me it really comes down to remembering my why. I didn't build this platform to be trendy. I built it to empower people to feel safe in their body and confident in their choices. Obviously, you've got to engage with trending topics to start conversations. But I never want to perpetuate shame. I always want to take that trending topic and spin it into evidence and truth.

For me, it's really all about balancing meeting people where they are and connecting with them on the topics and questions they are actually grappling with. Even if in my mind as an expert I'm like, oh my gosh, are we still hung up on that? Are we still not understanding that's a myth? You have to try to see it from their perspective, based on the kind of content they are being fed constantly, without feeding into the BS machine. So I always ask, okay, where could they have gotten that outlandish idea? I try to zone in on that, acknowledge it and then really break it down for people in bite-sized pieces.

Nikkiey: Heck yeah. I love that so much. I think it's about bringing awareness to where they're at. Meet them where they're at is something I say too. It's understanding what stories, what narratives, what limiting beliefs, what perspective they're coming from, and how you can change the narrative for them and help them see a different, empowered view of the situation.

Okay, cool. I want to dive into the next bucket I have for you. You coined the term Hunger Crushing Combo. I love that. Can you explain what that means and why it's such a game changer?

Abbey: Absolutely. This has been my signature framework for building satisfying, satiating meals. Most quote-unquote diets out there are constantly telling you to cut this out, cut calories or remove these foods from your diet. This is an additive approach to eating well. It encourages you to add protein, fiber and healthy fats to your meals. We do that because we know these hunger crushing combo compounds help to stabilize blood sugar, curb emotional and physical cravings and help you stay fuller longer. And they get you the best nutrient bang for your caloric buck. And they do that without denial or deprivation.

So basically, when we think about what we're adding, not what we're taking away, we're shifting the mindset from scarcity to a world of abundance. And that is really important for the sustainability of any way of eating. Because as soon as we start constantly thinking, oh, I can't have carbs or I can't have sugar because this is what my diet says, you're going to want those carbs so damn bad that you will binge. And then the diet starts again tomorrow. It's this whole binge, restrict, repent, repeat cycle. And people get stuck in that for their entire lives.

I actually have a book coming out. It's on presale right now: The Hunger Crushing Combo Method. It dives into the versatility of this method, because it supports basically any goal. It really doesn't matter if you are trying to lose weight, gain weight, gain muscle, go through perimenopause or menopause, manage diabetes, PCOS, insulin resistance, things like that, or raise healthy kids. This is a framework that can be easily adapted throughout the life cycle depending on your goals. In each chapter of the book, I go into how you can gently tweak the framework to zone in on those goals.

The way I started this idea was when I was struggling with my relationship with food. I was really obsessed with sugary cereal. That's what we call in my book the naked carbs. Naked carbs are all those carbohydrate-based foods that don't have fiber, protein or healthy fats to keep you full. And when you get in your head that you can't have, for me, sugary cereal, I just want to eat it all. It's all I can think about. It's such a mind suck. It's food noise. As soon as I started to find ways to add that sugary cereal to my diet, it was just knocked off its pedestal. It lost its allure. It was just another food.

And that's what I really encourage people to do. In the case of the sugary cereal, I would have a bowl of Greek yogurt for my protein, throw on some berries for my fiber, add maybe some hemp hearts for healthy fats, and a good handful of Lucky Charms. And damn, I'm satisfied. You've got the physical satiety, but you also get the emotional satisfaction. And that is so important to keeping a sustainable way of eating.

Nikkiey: I love the way you're saying and articulating that. I think that lands really well. It's like me telling you not to think about a pink elephant right now. What are you going to think about? A pink elephant. When things are restricted from your diet, you're going to go consume the things you think you can't have. So have a better way of working them in so that you aren't restricting them, and you learn how to eat them in balance. I love the way you explained that. And then in two or three years, you'll realize you don't have the same cravings you had when you were starting your journey, because you've allowed yourself to have these things.

Abbey: Exactly. It's not so special anymore. It's not this forbidden fruit where the moment you get your hands on it, you've got to binge on it. And the really cool thing about this framework, especially for folks looking to find their healthiest, happiest weight, is that when you start to add in these hunger crushing compounds, because they are so satiating, you naturally edge out some of the less satiating, higher-calorie naked carbs. So it's this really amazing mindset shift that encourages you to actually stick to it, because it feels good to your body.

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My next question was going to be about women who constantly jump from diet to diet. Would you say this is an example of a mental reframe that could help them shift to a more sustainable approach, adding in the food?

Abbey: Adding. You've got to come to the realization that you've got to think about what you're adding rather than what you're taking away. It's so helpful for chronic dieters. Because like you said, you can't have sugar, you're going to binge, and then you're doing that cycle over and over again. You're saying, okay, that diet doesn't work, let me try the keto diet. Now let me try the low-fat diet. It's all the same. You're still putting your body and your mind in a scarcity mentality. And it is just biology: when we are restricted from something, physically or emotionally, it is going to be all we can think about. It is all-consuming. That's where we hear about things like food noise, which is something that Ozempic actually can help quiet. But for a lot of people struggling with food noise, it's because they're restricting these things first, and they're not allowing themselves any wiggle room to enjoy the foods they actually love. And that's really why the Hunger Crushing Combo Method is so successful.

Nikkiey: Oh, I love that so much. Okay, I'm sure you've heard this so many times: women saying they eat healthy, or the term you come to understand once you're in the fitness space a little more, intuitive eating. What does eating intuitively actually mean, especially when you're still learning to trust your body? There are so many women who say, I eat healthy, and I ask, well, what do you eat in a day? And they're not eating enough, but they think they're eating healthy. Or there are the women trying to lean off of tracking macros so they don't have to do it for the rest of their lives, and they want to eat intuitively. What does that mean to you, especially as you're trying to learn and trust your body?

Abbey: Totally. I think the term intuitive eating has been hugely misunderstood. Largely, people believe it means just eat whatever you want, whenever you want. And obviously, if you've been dieting your whole life and someone says, just eat intuitively, that's going to freak you out. After years of dieting, how could you possibly throw caution to the wind and hand the reins back to your body, when every single diet you've ever been on has told you that your body cannot be trusted?

But intuitive eating actually isn't chaotic. It's really about connection. It's about rebuilding a relationship with food that is based on respect, not restriction. It's like treating your body as a friend you actually want to listen to. That is really the heart of intuitive eating. When you're first starting out, it's completely normal to feel very, very lost, because people have spent decades ignoring hunger, micromanaging portions or labeling foods as quote-unquote good or bad. So those internal cues are probably going to be very unreliable.

If you've been dieting and you don't have really strong hunger and fullness cues, you can't just jump into intuitive eating, because you might actually end up under-eating. You're going to say, well, I'm not hungry, so I'm just not going to eat. So you have to think of it as self-care. In those early stages, self-care is going to mean having some structure, like eating balanced meals and snacks every few hours, just to teach your body that nourishment is safe and predictable again. It's going to come. You're not doing the diet thing anymore. You're going to actually fuel your body with the food it needs. And that will help to reawaken some of those hunger and fullness cues over time.

For me, intuitive eating isn't just about the hunger piece. It's really about getting curious rather than controlling. That means collecting data, without any judgment, on how food makes you feel. For example, you might run out the door in the morning with a piece of toast, and you might notice, completely without judgment, that you're hungry again in an hour. And you think, okay, a piece of toast with butter doesn't really hold me that long. Next time, I'll maybe add some avocado and grab a little yogurt cup to go with it. Let's try that on and see how that feels. It's all about collecting data.

And that's really where the Hunger Crushing Combo comes in. Once you feel the satisfaction and the satiety factor, you realize it's not just about eating less. It's about what I'm adding to my meals to feel my best, so that I'm not constantly thinking about food, my digestion is actually working properly and my energy levels are even-keeled. So I really encourage people to get curious about their own body and notice the cues and messages it's sending them, without judgment.

Nikkiey: Would that also be what you'd say to someone who's been disconnected from their hunger cues for so long? Let's take some time to get curious about what that actually feels like for you?

Abbey: Absolutely. And especially if you have been disconnected from your hunger cues, whether that's from chronic dieting, disordered eating, eating disorders or things like that, that will likely require what we call mechanical feeding. You're not necessarily going to be hungry first thing in the morning, but you're going to have a meal. That's going to feel weird at first, because you'll think, why am I eating when I'm not hungry? But very soon your body's going to say, oh, food is coming. I don't need to hold on to this and conserve, and not give you any actual data on what I need and feel because you've been ignoring me for so long.

Nikkiey: Yes. I need you to say that louder for the woman in the back. I've heard it so many times over the last eight years: I don't want to eat breakfast because I'm not hungry. And I say, well, yeah, because that's what your body has known for so long. So let's just eat that food and see what your body is telling you in two to three weeks, once it's adapted to you eating in the morning. And two or three weeks later, you're like, how have I gone this long without eating breakfast?

Abbey: And typically, when you're skipping breakfast and waiting until you're ravenous enough to have a bite to eat, you usually end up playing catch-up at 9 p.m. The world is quiet. You don't have all these distractions like work or kids vying for your attention. And then you're just like, chips. Had you had a mindful meal earlier on and actually spaced out your meals so you had better energy, fullness and appetite control later on, you'd be in a much better place.

Nikkiey: Yeah, I joke about this, but I don't know if it's funny to joke about anymore. I call it food hoarding. It's going to be the next Netflix documentary or something like that. I joke about it innocently, but it's so true. If people just ate balanced meals throughout the day, their satiety would be way more controlled. They wouldn't feel like they have cravings all throughout the day, and everything else we're talking about. So I'm really excited that you're on this podcast sharing these words, because sometimes I say something, and then somebody else comes on and says the same thing, and it just clicks differently for listeners.

Okay, on that note, the question that popped into my head: why is understanding satiety so important for long-term health? And then, how can someone start to learn to tune into it more effectively?

Abbey: Yeah, I talk about this a lot more in the book, The Hunger Crushing Combo Method. First of all, I think it's really important that we don't pathologize or celebrate hunger, because that's what diet culture always does. It's either telling you that hunger or a growling stomach is your body giving you applause, like the SkinnyTok mantras, or it's telling you that if you ever feel hungry during the day on your diet, you're suddenly doing something wrong.

Nikkiey: Wait, not to interrupt you, but I'm also guilty of this. I used to say back in the day that if you're hungry, it's your fat crying or something like that.

Abbey: Right. I mean, we all did. We were all wrapped up in that diet culture crap. These were the mantras of the 2000s, literally just making a resurgence. But hunger is very distracting. Whether you're physically undernourished and hungry, or emotionally undernourished, basically what I would describe as unsatisfied. Maybe you're eating bowls and bowls of lettuce all day, but it's just not hitting. You're going to be using that precious brain space to think about food. And that doesn't seem like a good use of anybody's time, energy or brain space. I'm a busy woman. I've got a lot going on. I don't have time to constantly be thinking about food, or even just be distracted by hunger.

I think back to my disordered eating days. I'd say, okay, I'm just going to have this yogurt cup, and I'd space out all my meals to have the smallest amount of food possible, or the healthiest possible thing, which ended up being very low in calories. And then an hour later, I'm still thinking about food. Of course, because I haven't had a satiating hunger crushing combo.

So learning to respect and respond to your body's hunger and satiety cues is really turning down the volume on diet culture's noise and tuning back into your own body's frequency. And that is going to help you reach your healthiest, happiest weight, whether you've been under-eating and chronic dieting and that's not serving you well, from your hormone levels to your energy levels, or you've been stuck on the diet culture hamster wheel of trying a diet for a week and then binging out of control. Then you've never really been able to get to a place where you can trust your hunger and fullness cues and what your body actually needs. So it's all about learning how food and our hunger and fullness serve us, and working with those cues rather than fighting them.

Nikkiey: Love that. I love that answer. I'm also going to be linking your book in the description.

Abbey: Yes, thank you. Preorder now.

Nikkiey: Ladies, are you feeling frustrated with body changes you're experiencing during menopause? It's time to take control. If you're between 45 and 65 years old and tired of struggling with body fat and muscle loss, WarriorBabe is here for you. At WarriorBabe, we've helped over 18,000 women just like you lose body fat, build toned muscle and understand their bodies better with personalized plans based on hormone and thyroid testing and more. Imagine knowing exactly what your body needs to see real results, and results that last. Don't wait anymore. Take charge of your health and join our community of strong, empowered women. Visit WarriorBabe.com/apply today to start your transformation. That's WarriorBabe.com/apply. All right, let's get back to the show.

Okay, the next bucket I want to dive into with you is gut health without the hype, because gut health is getting a lot of hype nowadays. It's everywhere: supplements, drinks, even skincare. So why is gut health actually important, especially for women?

Abbey: Totally. I think wellness culture has reduced gut health to just digestion. And it's actually at the center of how your entire body functions. Your gut microbiome, which is this huge ecosystem of bacteria living in your digestive tract, influences so much more than your poop or bloating. It plays a role in your immune system, your hormone balance, your mood, your ability to maintain a healthy body weight, your brain health, everything.

For women especially, gut health really matters because of the constant hormonal changes we go through, whether menstrual cycles, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause or menopause. Estrogen and progesterone both interact with the gut microbiome. So when one is off, the other gets off too. And when your gut is struggling, you might not just notice that you're bloated or that your bowel movements are off. You might feel mood swings, fatigue, skin changes, irregular cycles, all the things.

There's this really powerful thing called the gut-brain connection, or gut-brain axis, which is hugely important. 90% of your serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter, is made in the gut. It's not even made in the brain. So if your gut is undernourished or stressed, it directly impacts your mental health. And for women going through the hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause, there are already a lot of mood swings happening and huge changes happening in the body. That's why so many women feel emotionally off when their digestion is out of whack too. It's a two-way street between the gut and the brain. It really is so important that we pay attention to the health of the gut.

Nikkiey: Love that you brought that up. I think that's really important, because it's not just the mental side of what we experience when our hormones are changing. It's where it's stemming from and why. So for women, what are some simple, doable ways to support their gut without falling into the gimmicks out there?

Abbey: It really comes down to the basics. Whether we're talking specifically about gut health or literally any other health goal, health condition or chronic illness, my recommendations would basically be the same. We want to focus on eating a variety of plants, because plants contain fiber, and fiber is the fuel for our gut bacteria. The same way we need a variety of foods to get amino acids for our muscles, carbohydrates for our brain, healthy fats and all those things, our gut bacteria like a variety of different plants. They like a smorgasbord. So we want to incorporate a wide variety of plant foods: fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds. We want to hydrate to support our regularity. We want to move our body, which is also very important for regular bowel movements.

Sleep and stress are so critical to the health of the gut. I have IBS, and IBS is literally a disconnect in the communication between the brain and the gut. So stress has a massive effect on our gut health and our digestion. Those are the basics.

Outside of that, we've got some evidence on specific probiotic strains for specific concerns. For example, with my supplement line, Neue Theory, which is all about gut health for women, we use two Bacillus strains that have been shown to support IBS and bloating. When you look at the data on specific probiotic strains, they may support more specific concerns. But I think focusing on those basics is going to get you the most bang for your buck, especially the plant foods. Got to feed those critters.

Nikkiey: Yeah. Got to get that fiber in there.

Abbey: Yes.

Nikkiey: All right, next bucket. We're moving along because I want to make sure we get all the buckets in before we close this episode.

Abbey: Of course.

Nikkiey: This is such great information so far. And for everybody listening, all of Abbey's information is going to be in the description below, and we'll close out by asking where you like to hang out the most and where people can find you.

This next one: I have a couple of questions around menopause, because a lot of the women listening to these episodes are either in perimenopause, in menopause or postmenopausal. You talk about the importance of fueling, which is what we've been talking about a lot here, and not restricting, especially as women age. What are some of the key shifts women need to make in their nutrition during midlife to support what their hormones are experiencing?

Abbey: A lot of people think, especially as they get into their 40s, that their metabolism has just shut down. And actually, when you look at the data, your metabolism stays relatively consistent until you're about 70, and then it starts to reduce after that. The problem is that as we get into perimenopause and menopause, women may start to see changes in the fat distribution in their body. That is just a result of estrogen shifts. And most women respond by eating a lot less, because they feel like, oh my God, my body's going to shit, my metabolism is slowing down. When what the body actually needs at this stage is more support, not necessarily less food, just a little more intention.

So I focus on fueling strategically, and that's again where the Hunger Crushing Combo comes in. I have a whole chapter on perimenopause and menopause for this reason. Eating enough calories is very important for hormone balance and for muscle repair, because we know this is when we potentially start to lose some bone mass, and muscle mass becomes harder to maintain. So prioritizing protein, ideally at every meal and most snacks, is very important to protect against age-related muscle loss. That is really key.

Complex carbohydrates with fiber are also important, because when we're going through perimenopause and menopause, we might be experiencing changes in our bowel habits, more bloating, more gas, all sorts of unpleasant symptoms, and fiber is going to be really important for that as well. And then, not fearing fat. Healthy fats like fish, olive oil, avocado, nuts and seeds are all important for brain function, skin health and hormone production. So for me, it's less about cutting back and more about shifting focus toward foods that keep you feeling strong, nourished and resilient through all the changes your body is navigating.

Nikkiey: I love that. And I want you to unpack something really quick for me. You touched on age-related muscle loss. Why is protein important, and why are protein timing and quality such a game changer for women before and after menopause?

Abbey: Ultimately, these are things we want to be focusing on all the time, especially since we can really build muscle in our younger years, when it's a little easier. But protein is absolutely king here. I call it the king of the satiety hierarchy. It's going to keep you full longer. For most women going through perimenopause and menopause, we should be aiming for about 1.2 to 1.6 or 1.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight, or a little higher if there are fat loss goals in place. It's really important that we're getting enough protein to prevent our body from cutting into our metabolic muscle mass.

We talked earlier about the importance of plants for the gut microbiome. There are also some specific foods, like soy-based foods, that are particularly powerful in perimenopause and menopause, because they contain compounds called isoflavones, a type of phytoestrogen that mimics estrogen in the body. As our natural estrogen declines, upping our soy intake may help to reduce the risk of bone and muscle loss. Plus, it's being shown to help support symptoms like hot flashes, anxiety and depression.

My recommendation is to spread out our protein as best we can throughout the day. We used to think the body was really hyper-specific about how much protein it could use at once. We don't need to stress too much about getting perfect 30-gram portions every three hours. But we know that having no protein all day and then a 16-ounce porterhouse steak is not going to optimize our muscle protein synthesis, and it's not going to optimize our energy levels either. So I do recommend getting protein in at every meal and most snacks.

When it comes to protein quality, a lot of the discussion has been animal versus plant proteins, because a lot of plant proteins aren't considered quote-unquote complete proteins, meaning they're missing one or more amino acids that support muscle protein synthesis. We now know the body is really smart and keeps a little reservoir of amino acids. So you don't need to combine specific plant-based proteins to get all your amino acids at the same time. As long as you're getting a variety of protein sources, you're generally good.

The one thing I will say about protein quality and amino acids is that when it comes to protein powder specifically, when you're using it for muscle protein synthesis, whey protein has enough of what we call leucine. Leucine is the trigger amino acid for muscle protein synthesis. Whey typically has a good amount of leucine, and most plant-based proteins do not. With our plant-based protein at Neue Theory, a two-in-one plant-based probiotic protein, we add extra leucine because it helps support muscle protein synthesis optimally. So those are just a few things to consider when you're planning out your meals.

Nikkiey: I love that. That's a great breakdown of the quality of protein, what women should look for, and why protein timing is so important, without getting stuck on it having to be 30 grams in your meal five times a day. It's the importance of just getting it in your meals throughout the day. I think a lot of people got hung up on needing to be perfect with their numbers. No.

Okay, the last bucket and the last couple of questions I want to dive into come back to what we opened this podcast with: how the industry can lean on shame and make people feel like we need to punish our bodies into diets. How do you encourage people to feel better about their bodies, not just follow the rules that are out there? We've talked about some tactics in this episode, but more in the mindset category, how can you encourage someone to feel better about food and their body?

Abbey: I think awareness is a really great place to start. Understanding where these messages come from. Start noticing the quote-unquote food police voices in your head and question them: where did I even hear that? Is that even a valid source? Should that be dictating what I choose to eat today? With a little bit of that awareness, almost like critical thinking about the sources of these narratives, it does put things into perspective. And remind yourself that you are the only expert on your body. Not even your doctor. You are the expert on your own body, and certainly not a pretty influencer on your Instagram feed. So I think that's really important as well: respecting your own body's true needs.

Nikkiey: Love that, especially that word awareness. The listeners will know this, but I want to share it with you: for at least the last 15 episodes of the podcast, I've literally said the word awareness. I joke in every episode that it's probably one of the most important words you guys could latch onto and start using when you're eating, bringing awareness to the stories and narratives in your mind that are making up these judgments about why you should or shouldn't do something, and starting to correct them and change them. So I love that you said that.

One last question. For the listeners today who feel overwhelmed or stuck in a toxic food mindset, what's one thing you want them to walk away with from this episode?

Abbey: I think what's really important is to remind yourself that your worth is absolutely not determined by your body or your plate. One of our mantras at Neue Theory is: your diet is the least interesting thing about you. This doesn't need to be your whole personality, as we've unfortunately seen people make it on social media. You do not need to earn food or shrink your body to deserve respect. And when you stop obsessing over food, what you're cutting out, your body and how it looks in the mirror at that angle, your world opens up, and you can finally make room for what actually nourishes you, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

Nikkiey: That's such a powerful reminder. Everything you shared today was such a powerful reminder, Abbey. Thank you for bringing your brilliance and your honesty to today's conversation, and for the many reminders you've given throughout this episode. Food isn't something we need to fear. It's something to enjoy, something to understand, something to bring awareness to, something to use to fuel your life and the way you want to live. I know so many women listening today are walking away with a new sense of clarity, confidence and compassion for themselves. So keep quieting that noise. I appreciate you and your work and everything you're doing. Where can people find you?

Abbey: I'm at Abbey's Kitchen basically everywhere: TikTok, Instagram. I'm on YouTube, where I've got a full-length YouTube channel. I've got my podcast, Bite Back with Abbey Sharp. You can preorder the brand-new Hunger Crushing Combo Method anywhere you get your books or audiobooks. And then Neue Theory as well, which you can find at Neue Theory.

Nikkiey: Cool beans. Awesome, Abbey. Thank you so much for being on.

Abbey: Thank you.

Nikkiey: Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all the difference, helping more women discover the tools they need to transform their fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much. Thank you.