How to Stop Quitting Your Fitness Goals After 40

Nikkiey: Muscle is longevity. The more muscle that you guys build on your body, the more years that you are adding to your life.

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I'm your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to this special episode, bringing you guys live into one of our VIP coaching calls.

The 1,000-plus women inside of this call are all working towards becoming stronger, more confident versions of themselves through one-on-one coaching with WarriorBabe. WarriorBabe's mission, if you don't already know it, is to help 100,000-plus women, and go beyond that, achieve their desired body composition through sustainable, realistic fitness methodologies, no matter what their age is. Each day, we get closer and closer to hitting that 100,000 number. So I hope this live training helps you, and maybe if you aren't already a WarriorBabe, you will be one soon. Enjoy.

What we're going to talk about tonight is stop stopping. I've already kind of hinted that we were going to talk about it. And I say it all out of love. I want you guys to succeed. So this is just going to be another tactic, mentally, mindset-wise, to catch yourself on and know to just stop stopping. We're going to dive into it a little bit, all right?

So first, before I dive into it, let me just say that the wishing, the hoping, the desiring, the wanting, all of those things in that space are a waste of time and energy. Wishing that you were in a better place, hoping that you could understand macros, desiring a better body, wanting better health: they deepen the story. And I know I say focus on the things that you want to become. Sure, that's a different type of energy I'm talking about. But staying in that space of wanting, hoping, desiring, wishing, all these things, deepens that story that you don't have something yet, right? That you are unfulfilled. You feel incomplete. You don't have what you need to be happy. And wanting soon turns into more hoping. And now you're in no position to be effective. Does that make sense?

So here's an example. Ask someone, and maybe you've been in this position before, ask someone what she wants to do. She can talk, and will talk, forever, right? You will hear a lot come from her. Then ask her, when she's finished, what does she choose to do? Have you ever been in that position? And it's absolute silence, right? People can talk all day, all day, about what they want. But then ask what she's going to choose to do, and it's silence. How many of you have heard this from friends or family members, or even been that person? No judgment, again. No shame here, right?

Maybe you've had the conversation with your husband. Your husband's like, I want to lose weight too. Cool. What are you going to do about it? What do you choose to do? Maybe they'll say, I want to start meal prepping. I want, though. You see that? I want to start meal prepping. I want to start eating better. You know what I mean? We've all been there. I want to do this stuff.

And that's because there's a huge difference between those two activities. Nice, Jessica just had this conversation with her daughter today. There's a huge difference between those two things. One lives in this endless feedback loop of mental fantasy, right? Wanting, hoping, desiring, wishing, yada, yada, yada. The other one, you guys, and this is what I want you all to pay attention to, lives in the real world of action. Okay? Whether the action happens or doesn't happen always depends on what you choose to do. It will never depend on what you want to do. Does that make sense?

So many people are paralyzed by the option of choice. Tony Robbins says this: they should all over themselves. Have you heard that before? Should I do this? Should I track macros? Should I work out today? Should I read this new mindset book? Should I do this next challenge? Should I invest in this program? And the worries always win. They are given the power. They take control of the brain. They stop the action. At the end of the day, nothing is chosen.

I want you guys to know that choosing is powerful. Choosing is action taking. Action taking is what produces results. You guys know I've said this over and over and over again, in so many different ways. Action is what's necessary. So: choosing to track macros. Choosing to work out today. Choosing to read a book that's going to help you. Choosing to show up on these weekly meetings with the coaches or myself. Choosing to show up on your weekly huddles with your coach. Choosing to do your check-ins. Choosing to participate fully in the next challenge. When you define the necessary, required actions that you'll be taking, then you've got to do those necessary, required actions without stopping.

And this is where I'm going to talk about stop stopping. What I mean by this is, many people, and maybe you've found yourself in this position too, begin something new like, fuck yeah, I'm so stoked. I've got this inspired action. I'm signing up for the program. Here we are right now. Woo! You're running around your house, your apartment. You're like, I can go do a five-mile run, an hour. I feel so freaking good.

But then something happens. Soon you get discouraged, and distracted, and life hits you in the face. And you finally become so sidetracked that what you began is never finished. And here we are at the end of the challenge, and some people stopped. Went, stopped. Went, stopped. Went. And so you've probably started a lot of things in life that you never accomplished. And maybe it's this challenge, or it's the program, or you may be in a rut with the program right now. I know I hopped on here on Tuesday and someone was like, I've needed this motivation for like six months now, or I've been stuck and I haven't been able to get out. So you tried it, and then it just dropped out of your focus, right? How many times has that happened to somebody? Maybe not even with the VIP, but other things, right? We've all been there. You started and then you stopped. Now it's time to stop stopping. Especially if you're in the VIP. It's time to stop stopping.

Think about it like this. If you had just stayed with things, you would have success now beyond imagining. But you stopped. So stop stopping.

And this is the thing. Most people confuse activity with productivity. They value busyness over results. So they jump into something that they are so excited about and start applying enormous energy to it, but soon shut down and quit. And the slightest setbacks, I mean, we've all had them, have them stop. Maybe they've had you stop. And then you're trying to find that same excitement that you had when you first joined the program, to give you that type of energy to be able to do it again, or to start back up and pick up where you left off. But that won't happen to you when you stop stopping, right? You've got to choose your path and you've got to stay on it.

So maybe we're coming to the end of this challenge and you may be thinking, but why do I do that? What's wrong with me? Why do I stop? Do I need to find that out? Why does that keep happening? And I need you to understand, you don't need to figure out any of that. It doesn't matter. It's only going to keep you from making progress. In that space, you're just going to keep going back to past theories or stories and beliefs as to why you do that. You want to replace all that mental spinning with just pure action, right?

This is another way to think about it too. A human being is built like any other human form, right? We're built to persist until a goal is achieved. Make sense? Those of you who have children, maybe grandkids, yeah, or if you don't, just think about a child. They get what they want, and you'll see natural, built-in persistence in those guys. Children don't stop, even when you tell them no. Right, moms? They will figure it out. They're natural sellers. They get what they want.

But somewhere along the way, as we've grown up, we've learned about stopping and how it's an option. And soon we start stopping everything that gets uncomfortable. First we do it after severe frustration. Then we dwindle it down to medium frustration, where we start stopping. And then as soon as we face any discomfort at all, we quit.

And what I mean by that is, macros are fucking hard. Let me just put it out there. It's not easy. It's a skill set, y'all. It's just like riding a bike. You've got to figure it out. Anything new requires something different. You've got to do something different than what you've been doing before, right? Macros is a skill. It's learning nutrition. It's learning how to feel your body. That can be uncomfortable, because you have to set time aside to figure it out.

Walking into the gym can be uncomfortable if you've never been in the weight room before. It's full of men, or people you think are looking at you while you're working out, because you lack the confidence to go in and walk through and just get it done. But you have to build that confidence, right? And so people quit at that. People quit at getting uncomfortable. People quit at lack of confidence. People quit when they don't make enough time in their schedule to go work out. People quit, and they think that that's uncomfortable. And at this point, from growing up, we just think stopping is an option.

When you stop stopping, you will achieve virtually any goal that you ever set for yourself. I'm being honest with you. Because you eliminate all that mental space of thinking that you can't, or thinking that it's too hard, or thinking, here we are, I'm set back and I'm stopping again. When you stop stopping, you're going to achieve virtually anything you want, any goal you want. You'll never give up. You'll finish everything that you're truly committed to.

You guys know I've talked about this in the Blueprint modules. You have to make a committed decision to yourself to follow through. You have to stop stopping. And when you do that, you're going to achieve your fitness goals. You're going to lose all the body fat that you want to lose. You're going to build the muscle that you want to build.

And off of that, when you follow through with the commitment to yourself, guys, confidence is only doing things that are hard or that you've never done before. That's how confidence gets built. People aren't born with confidence. I sure as fuck wasn't born with confidence. People on here weren't born with confidence. You've got to follow through and make the committed decision on the things that you said you're going to do for yourself, and you've got to take the action. That's where you're going to build the confidence. But think about it like this. Every time you stop, you are literally taking away a self-confidence motivator from yourself. You're literally taking it away.

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The habit of stopping too soon is misinterpreted, too. When you stopped on this challenge, or at any other point of the program, or on any part of your own personal journey, it's misinterpreted as a lack of willpower, or courage, or drive, or desire to do something. But that's nonsense. It's only a habit. You guys know we've talked about habits before. It's only a habit. And like any other habit, it can be replaced with another habit.

That's what I mean. It's not worth your mental energy and space to think, oh my God, why do I do this? Cool, if you want to figure out what a trigger is for you, that's awesome, so that when you meet the trigger face to face, you know not to go down that trigger's path, because it's not going to lead you anywhere good. It's going to lead you to stopping. But you don't need to sit there and be like, why do I do this? Why am I beating myself up over this? Why do I stop? Because you're just going to go into past stories and past beliefs about everything. Instead, you can replace that habit you got yourself stuck on by taking action in supportive ways that build another habit. You know what I mean?

Action is your best friend. You don't want to go work out? Guess what? Go work out. Do the opposite of anything that doesn't support you. You don't want to track macros? Cool. Go track macros. Fucked up midday? Cool. It's time to get right back on track midday. You know what I mean? It's the inverse of the things that aren't supportive. It's like, okay, what's the supportive action? What do I need to do right now? And the more that you embed that habit within yourself, you're going to replace the old one. It's literally your body and your mind. It's crazy. Our mindsets are crazy.

You guys could just have the tactics of macros and workouts here at VIP. But adding in this mindset factor is so important because, like I've said before, the mindset is the bottom of the iceberg that nobody sees that gets people success. It's discipline. It's dedication. It's determination. It's willpower. It's saying no to things, right? So with the mindset piece of this, if you just keep working on that habit of yours on top of nutrition, on top of macros, it's really just taking the action. There's going to be no room for all of those non-supportive things. Soon they're going to hold no more space. But the second you give them space, they come back, and they're going to keep coming back, right? So remember the supportive actions that you need to take. Those are the things that are going to help build habits, build the habit of not stopping.

At any point in this, when you're replacing the habit, your inner stance is also going to change. For all of you here, you can either have the inner stance of a quitter, but I don't think any of you guys are quitters, or you can have the inner stance of a finisher, right? Which one are we going to be? Quitters or finishers? Finishers. I'm going to see all y'all's hands up. Who's going to be a quitter? Damn straight. Ain't nobody. So we've got to stop stopping.

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We're going to see it through, all the way to our goals. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're not going to have some off days, but the most important thing is that you're on the right path and you stay on the right path. Some days we're going to be on vacation, like Sheree at Lake Tahoe right now. Man, that sounds bomb. Or we're going on 4th of July vacations with our family. But the most important thing, you guys, is that it doesn't turn into a week. It doesn't turn into two weeks. You get right back on track the day the holiday is over. We go right back to what our lifestyles are, right?

The choice is always yours, and it's never too late to choose. You've got to remember that. All right? It's not what you want to do with your life and your fitness goals. It's what you choose to do. It's not what you want to do. It's what you choose to do. And then you've got to stop the stopping.

So one thing that I recently shared with the WarriorBabe team about this, and they brought it up too, and we went back and forth over a couple of meetings about it, is that I want you guys to pick your hard. Maybe you heard me talk about this on my Instagram story. I want you to pick your hard. It's essentially the same thing as want versus choose. I think we're all collectively here because we want to lose body fat. We want to build muscle. We want to feel more confident. We want longevity. We want added years to our life, right? Yeah.

So many people say that tracking is hard. For so many people that's a deterrent to joining WarriorBabe, because macros are hard, and they're not even willing to learn. They say tracking is hard. Macros are hard. It's too challenging to understand. Making time to fit a workout into my busy calendar is hard.

Okay. Let me ask you this. Would you rather have that hard, or would you rather have the hard of how hard it is to not feel confident in your own skin, or to wake up every single day and put on clothes? What hard are you going to choose? What hard are you going to choose? Right? What hard are you going to choose? Because macros is a skill set that's going to help you change your body composition. It's going to help you lose fat. It's going to help you build muscle. It's going to help you feel good. It's going to give you energy. It's going to make you feel confident. So what hard are you going to choose?

You can spend the mental energy saying that macros are too hard, or I don't want to work out, or hitting the snooze button in the morning and missing your AM workout, and you're like, oh God, I have to push it to the afternoon, when you know you're not an afternoon workouter, right? What hard are you going to choose? Are you going to choose not getting your nutrition dialed in and not getting your workouts done, or are you going to choose waking up every day and hating the way that you feel? Remember that you've got to pick your hard, right?

I guarantee you, when you spend the mental energy doing the actions you wish to be done in a supportive way, what's supportive of your goals, all of the hard things, all the excuse-making, the I don't have enough time, or it's too busy, yada, yada, yada, is going to go out the door. So I just want you to remember to pick your hard.

I'm going to read some of these comments before I continue on. Coach Jess says, you can either want what you want or work for what you want. Yeah, exactly. Work for what you want, y'all. Think about that. Like I just said, how many times have you been in a conversation where somebody can go on and on and on about what they want, and then you ask them what they're going to choose to do, and some of them just don't know? That's where they need the help of a coach, right? But it's like, oh, I want to meal prep, or I want to start eating better. How many times have we heard that one? I want to start eating better. You can't be in that space anymore. You've got to work for what you want. You've got to track those macros. You've got to learn the macros. You've got to work out. You've got to do the uncomfortable things.

Yeah, it's better to say, I get to. I get to work out. I get to track macros. I get to do all these things that are supportive of the results I want to accomplish, right?

Someone says: the words I am committed to changed me. It took away the words want and hope. Yeah, I love that, because that's an affirmation. I am committed to, and then you add in whatever you want to accomplish for yourself. That I am is like a bridge to your future self. And the more you repeat that affirmation over and over and over again, you're literally pulling your future self into the now. I've talked about that before: who you want to be, who you want to become. You have to start acting like that person, because that person isn't going to say, oh, well, I'm too busy to work out today. That person didn't achieve their goals by saying that, you know what I mean? So get uncomfortable. Be uncomfortable.

Laura says: I think there's something to be said about changing the mindset from, as soon as I get to a certain point, then I'll be happy, content and good enough, versus realizing that as soon as you take one step after the other, that is the beginning of being what you've been wanting and waiting for. That's how getting there happens. That's so true.

I remember back when I first competed, the only thing in my mind was, I'm going to be happy when I accomplish this goal. You're just putting your happiness on hold. Why not be happy now? Be happy where you are. And then when you achieve the things that you want, you're already happy. And someone's saying damn straight, and I was like, yeah, go mom. So true, you know? You've got to be happy and content with yourself now, because there ain't no space for destroying yourself and beating yourself up over things, right?

And Teresa says, the way I felt six months ago is what helps me stay on track each day. Yes. Change your mindset. Yes, guys. All great stuff. All truth.

So I challenge you guys with this new challenge that's coming up. See it through. This one's going to be fun. You're going to achieve your goals. You're going to find the mindset and confidence within yourself. What you guys are doing right now by working out and building muscle, especially my babes here who are 55, 65, 75 or older, and anybody even before that age, you guys are priming your body in so many amazing ways. Muscle is longevity. The more muscle that you build on your body, the more years that you're adding to your life.

I was reading this cool thing online: it's not that we're over-fat, we're under-muscled in this world, y'all. When I saw that, I was like, holy shit. I almost had a blast from the past from when I worked in the emergency room, and when I worked in long-term care before that. I remember questioning every time I was taking care of a patient. I'm like, why are they here? Why do these people keep showing up? I'm sure people in healthcare understand this. You see this every single day. You see sick people. You see people who fall and break their hips. And people over the age of 65 who break their hip often don't really ever walk again. And I always looked at them, and you know how Tony Robbins says you can tell how somebody lives their life just by looking at them, right? So we're under-muscled in this world.

And what you guys are doing now, by strength training and working out every single day and building muscle, making your bones stronger and your muscles stronger, you're adding years to your life. You're adding more time that you can spend with your grandchildren, or watching your kids grow up, and being in better health for yourself, being around for your family, right? So remember that. All right? Keep working out. Keep loving strength training. No more of this cardio shit. No more of this bootcamp. It's strength training, right? Yes, Sarah, I saw you. Yes. Keep lifting that heavy shit. Keep challenging yourself. All right, WarriorBabes.

Real quick: the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals and feel insanely confident. The only way we can do that is if you rate, review and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask you to do is leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, it will mean the absolute world to me, and it may change the world of someone else. I'll see you next time. Bye.