How to Take Control of Your Fitness Results After 40

Nikkiey: Real quick, the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals, and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate, review, and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask you to do is leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone else. I share so many tactics with you. I share so much for free in this podcast, so much insight, so many coachable, actionable things that you can go and do yourself.

And I'm like, just go and do the things, right? That's personally my love language. Just go and do the things. Don't listen to me until you're blue in the ear, just waiting, wishing, hoping that this thing's going to happen to you, that you're going to get results. That's not how it works. You have to actually put in the work and take action on the things that I'm saying to you in the podcast or on social media or wherever you're seeing anything of me. You have to do the work.

Hey, everybody. What is going on? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show with Nikkiey Stott, co-founder of WarriorBabe. On this podcast, we talk about mindset, methodologies, and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong, and feel insanely confident. I am your host, Nikkiey Stott, and welcome to today's episode, episode 163. There's been a lot going on in my environment, in my space, and it all pertained to one particular concept, actually a very crucial concept, that I wanted to bring here and speak to in a full-blown episode with you guys.

There are going to be tons of stories throughout this episode today. Some of them are going to get pretty vulnerable. And I'm only sharing this concept with you guys because I've seen it firsthand for the last eight years, being in the fitness space and coaching women, but more so in the last week, really, through the stories that I've been surrounded with.

So this concept, guys, is super crucial. It can be a huge component of you being very successful in your fitness journey. And that is that you are the one who is in control of your results. Especially when you're inside of a program, like when you sign up for WarriorBabe, if you are a WarriorBabe, or you've done programs in the past, or when you do sign up for things, you're the one that's in control of your results. But you also need to understand that you have the guidance of incredible coaches, especially here inside of WarriorBabe, who are there to guide you along the way. And with you being in control, with the guidance of the coaches that you have by your side, and with your dedication, amazing things can happen. But you have to be the one that takes control. And that's what I want to talk about today.

So first, let's talk about control. Each one of you holds the power to shape your entire fitness journey. Coaches, or people that you work with, are the ones that provide you the best tools, the best plans, the best guidance. But ultimately, it is you who has to put in the work. You have to apply the nutrition strategies you're told to follow. You have to do the workout protocols that your coach is telling you that you need to be doing on a weekly basis to achieve your goals. And then you have to apply those strategies and those protocols consistently. It's not that you apply it for one week, or three weeks, or four weeks. You have to apply it consistently over weeks and months and even years, depending on how fast you want to get to your results.

Understand this, though. If you're working with a coach or you're working in a program, those things, those people, can guide you, but they cannot do the actual physical work for you. It doesn't matter if you're working with an in-person personal trainer, you're working with a coach online, you're following a program online, or you're following your friend's program that your friend got from a personal trainer in person or online. It doesn't matter. Those things are just tools. Those people are giving you the best tools, the best plans, the best guidance. They're there to guide you. But they cannot physically do the work for you. They cannot be in your kitchen meal prepping your meals or planning your meals for the next day. They cannot be the ones physically doing the workout. Even if you're working with an in-person personal trainer, they're the ones guiding you through the workout. The responsibility completely lies on you.

And this is all coming from a story that I want to share with you about a woman that I met on Monday. For some context, if you guys don't follow me on Instagram, I had this all over my story, and I appreciate every single one of you guys that reached out.

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I had to take Maverick in. I was so concerned about my dog, Maverick. He is my world. He was consistently having diarrhea for like 48 to 72 hours throughout the weekend. I wasn't too concerned about that, because he's had spells of diarrhea throughout the three years that I've had him. But what was most concerning was Monday morning. He drank some water, we went out for a walk, and he projectile vomited water. Then we came back in from the walk, he drank some water, and he projectile vomited water again. He was like, Mom, I've got to go outside, and he just projectile vomited water outside. And I started getting in my head. I was like, if the water has nowhere to go, that means it's blocked, and that means it could be an obstruction. I've never seen him projectile vomit water. I've seen him vomit bile before, but I've never seen him go that much, literally puddles of water.

So I called the vet. The vet wasn't able to bring him in. So I was like, all right, I'm just going to make a call and take him to the emergency room. So I did that. Turns out Maverick was totally fine. Vitals were good. Whatever he got into over the weekend, whether it was at the dog park or playing with my dad's dog, just got to him a little bit aggressively.

Anyway, we were about to head out, but I noticed they were using a different leash than Maverick's normal leash. So I was like, hey, you guys have Maverick's leash in the back, I'll just wait here while you grab it. So I'm waiting in the waiting room, and this woman comes out from behind the desk. She's in scrubs, right? She works there. She's like, hey, do you mind if I just take a seat right next to you here? I'm like, yeah, sure, go ahead. I'm thinking she's going to talk to me about Maverick. And she's just holding her phone with a picture on it of an overweight woman, holding it in front of me for me to look at.

And I'm like, what is going on here? I didn't put two and two together yet because I'm concerned about my dog, right? It took me a second. I'm looking at the picture, I'm looking at her, I'm looking at the picture, I'm looking at her. I'm like, oh my God, that's you. And we laughed, because my reaction in the waiting room was just like, dude, that's freaking awesome. That's so freaking cool. Tell me more. And she was like, thank you so much. I've been following you for the last three years. I've lost 80 pounds. I went from a size 28 to a size 8. And I can't thank you enough, because this has been absolutely life changing.

Guys, it was the most beautiful thing. I love when I meet you guys in person and you share that type of story with me, because that is such a rewarding experience for both of us, right? And what stood out to me the most about her was her unwavering commitment to the process. Get this: she's not a WarriorBabe. She's just been following me for years on Instagram, on social media, the podcast. I asked her, are you a WarriorBabe? And she's like, no, I've just been following you. I'm like, so you've just taken massive action over these last three years. And she was like, yeah, massive action. No freaking excuses. I was like, heck yeah.

Her name's Karen, by the way. At one point I was like, remind me of your name again? She was like, unfortunately, I'm a Karen. I was like, oh my God, that's hilarious. She said unfortunately because I've joked around on social media, on Instagram, sometimes even the podcast, like, don't be a Karen, don't be like the Karens out there, right? But I can't use it anymore, because Karen's absolutely crushing it.

But anyway, she's not a WarriorBabe. She's literally taken massive action herself on the things that she's learned, the things that I've said on the podcast. I've always said to you guys, I share so many tactics with you. I share so much for free in this podcast, so much insight, so many coachable, actionable things that you can go and do yourself. And I'm like, just go and do the things, right? That's personally my love language. Just go and do the things. Don't listen to me until you're blue in the ear, just waiting, wishing, hoping that this thing's going to happen to you, that you're going to get results. That's not how it works. You have to actually put in the work and take action on the things that I'm saying to you in the podcast or on social media or wherever you're seeing anything of me. You have to do the work. And that's what stood out to me the most about her. She was absolutely amazing.

And mind you, guys, she's 50 years young. She's 50 years young. So for all of you listening who are 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, or even younger than that, there's no excuse. It literally comes down to you taking absolute, 100% extreme ownership of your life. Taking responsibility for your fitness journey, for your health, completely lies on you. Karen took full responsibility.

One of our values at WarriorBabe is extreme ownership. Our lives are of our own making. There's no one else ever to blame. I said that totally wrong, but our lives are of our own making. There is no one else ever to blame. So the responsibility always lies on us. Responsibility lies on me. If I don't go work out, it's not because of the weather. It's not because I was too busy. It's not because my dog ended up in the ER. It's because of me not prioritizing or shifting around my schedule to make it happen.

So for me, I had my whole schedule set on Monday to work out, right? But because of everything that happened, I shifted. I only work out four to five days a week. Typically it's always four, but if I get an extra one in, I like to do that, so sometimes I'll do five. But it's always four, right? There are seven days in the week. So I just shift one day and make my Monday wide open. You guys can do the same thing. It's about prioritizing. It's about time management. It's about moving things around. It's about going with the flow and understanding life happens. But you set priorities for yourself. You set responsibilities that you want to accomplish for yourself. And anything outside of that is not going to do the work for you. You have to do the work.

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You have to take extreme ownership, right? You have to be committed to the process. That's what Karen did. She was fed up, right? She told me she took control of her eating habits. She meticulously started following the things that she was learning, honed in on her nutrition, and got those types of results. That is what control looks like. And I thought that was a perfect story to bring to this podcast and share with you, because there's nothing more I can say about truly taking control of what you want to accomplish. She applied the nutrition. She applied the workout protocol. She kept consistent. She listened to me.

And this is the way I want you guys to think of it. You are the driver of your own fitness journey. Karen is the driver of her own fitness journey. If you are a WarriorBabe, you are the driver of your own fitness journey, even inside of a program, regardless of whatever program it is. If you are working with a coach, they are your navigators. For Karen, I was her navigator, right? I'm the one providing you guys with the best route, the best guidance to help you reach your destination. Think of it like Google Maps. You are the one, though, to start the car. You're the one to start the engine. You're the one to steer the wheel. You're the one to keep driving. Even if you don't have Google Maps and the road gets tough, you're the one who still has to keep driving, right?

So think of it like that. Really nail that into your head. Regardless of whatever you do moving forward, whether you are a WarriorBabe or not, whether you're following a program or not, or if you're deciding to get off your couch and go make some moves, you are the one in control. You're the driver. Your husband isn't going to make you do it. Your kid isn't going to make you do it. You are the one that has to do it. You are the one that has to want to do this. Change happens of one's own accord. If your husband wants it more than you want it, you're not going to take the action. If you want it, you're going to take the action. If your kids want it more than you want it, you're not going to take the action. If you want it, you're going to take the action.

And this is what I've said in earlier podcasts. Do not wait until something happens in your life where you need to be reactive rather than proactive, right? I'm going to share a story later, but just as an example: if you get a health scare from your doctor saying X, Y and Z is showing up on your test results or blood work, and your doctor suggests you eat better, start exercising, start moving your body, that is reactive. Right now, you can be in control of being proactive and doing the things that, if there are any underlying things happening internally, could start to reverse them. I've seen it thousands of times, whether it be blood glucose, A1C, or people coming off of thyroid medications and all that jazz. They start doing things that are better for their body. They're feeding their body the nutrition that's needed to address these deficiencies, or they're taking supplements to address these deficiencies, and things get reversed. That is being proactive. Reactive can be in that sense too, but proactive means it doesn't get so severe that now you're fighting an uphill battle. You get what I'm saying? You following?

So all that to say, when we talk about what control is, you are the one driving your fitness journey. Not your coach, not your husband, not your friends. The professionals who are there helping you, those people are the navigators. Those people are providing the best way to go, the best type of guidance, if you're hiring good coaches, WarriorBabe, or whoever if you're not inside of WarriorBabe yet. But you have to be the one that's like, hey, I'm driving the car and my coach is in the passenger seat. It's not reversed. I'm driving the car. I'm taking the guidance. I'm offering feedback. I'm being communicative with my coach. I'm sharing with her the things that I'm experiencing, the things that I feel, my two cents.

I've always said this in my coaching experience with my clients, and I say this to our coaches too: it's a two-way street. Coaches can't read your minds, and nor should they. You guys should be able to communicate. I've talked about this in one of the episodes. I think it was early on, and I think I even repurposed it, but it was the benefits of working with a coach and how communication is so freaking important, because we don't know what's going on with you unless you share it. We can't read minds and assume what's going on unless you share what's going on. And that's why it's so freaking important to communicate. But anyway, you're the one to do those things. You're the one to drive the car, steer the wheel, keep driving. When the road gets tough, you have the guidance of your coach to push you and support you, but you still have to drive forward.

Hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you're enjoying it, and there's so much more to come. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons, and it would help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too. Thanks so much, guys. Let's get back to the show.

I want to take this a little bit further. When it comes to nutrition, when your coach or a program is offering you a strategy, following that program is essential. I know that sounds like, well, duh, Nikkiey, I know that. But sure, you know it, but do you actually do it? I'm just going to throw this in there, because I say this to my team, I say this to my siblings, my parents: I hate the words I know. Especially if the person isn't doing what they know they should be doing. When I say that following your personalized nutrition plan is essential, and you say, I know, Nikkiey, well, then why the hell aren't you doing it? Right? If you knew, you'd be doing it. Those are my favorite things to tell people. I hate those words unless you're actually taking the action of following the nutrition protocol and following it consistently.

You deviating from it or thinking it's not going to work, that is a you problem. Myself, coaches, we are the professionals, right? We're the professionals in this space, and it's our job to get you absolutely amazing results, not make you fat. So if you're deviating from the plan, or you're not following it, or you think you know but you're not doing it, or you think it's not going to work, that's not an us problem. We know it's going to work. We have the skills. We have the education. We have the knowledge. We know it's going to work. We know it's going to help you. But the story that you're telling yourself, the limiting belief, these unrealistic narratives that you're telling yourself, are getting in the way of you listening to the expert, and that's a you problem. And I say that with so much love, because I just want to call it as it is.

You deviating from anything, or thinking it's not going to work when something has worked, especially inside of WarriorBabe, for thousands and thousands and thousands of women, is a you problem. It's because you have some story or belief, or you're afraid of something, or you grew up with your mom on this diet and you're overcoming an emotional eating pattern, or you think a certain food is bad because marketing says carbs are bad for you. That is a you problem, right?

And that's why I love that at WarriorBabe, we're so much more than just giving you a macro protocol or nutrition guidance or a workout program to follow. When we hear these types of stories, it's not like, go figure it out. It's not like you have a program to follow and you're telling yourself these stories and you have nobody to talk to. It's like, hey, why are we telling ourselves those stories? You think it's not going to work for you? Okay, tell me more. Let's unpack that. And we get a layer deeper, and then we find out that you've tried so many other programs before and they didn't work for you. Okay, why don't you think they worked for you, right? I always say there's the whys. Why, why, why? And that's what we do at WarriorBabe. That's what our coaches do. We help get to the root of where these stories are coming from, and then we address it. And I love when coaches get to the root and the light bulbs go off in your brains, like, wow, that story really is not supporting me or my journey. So let's rewrite the narrative. Cool, let's rewrite the narrative. Let's go. And we love getting clients to those solutions on their own.

Anyway, I got kind of sidetracked there, but think about it like this. Every single meal that you eat on a daily basis, every choice, particularly speaking to nutrition right now, contributes to your overall progress, right? I'm going to speak to WarriorBabe because that's what's easiest for me to speak to. WarriorBabe's programs are designed to fuel your body, to support your workouts, and to help you recover and grow stronger. Remember, skipping meals, eating unhealthy meals, deviating from your plan, or thinking mindset-wise that it's not going to work will set you back. So in the nutrition realm, remember that consistency is key. And if you have stories or limiting beliefs that are getting in your way, they need to be addressed. That's why it's so beneficial to work with a coach, where you can bounce these thoughts off somebody who's on the other side of it and helps you get to the other side too, and where you can be even more successful in your journey.

And the same goes for workouts. If you're sticking to the routines, even on the days when it feels tough, that's where the magic happens. You guys know I always say it's not about perfection, it's about progress. You're not always going to be motivated, so you need to start working on your self-discipline. Each workout, each rep, builds on the last, and that creates a stronger, fitter you, whatever results you're going for.

Think about this success story from inside of WarriorBabe. Her name is Megan G. Shout out, Megan G. Shout out to all the successful WarriorBabes who are absolutely crushing their journey. Every first Tuesday of the month, we have a company all-hands meeting at WarriorBabe where the coaches share testimonial results of the clients they're working with: where the client started and where they are now. We had so many incredible stories, and if I could sit here for an hour, I totally would share all the success stories, but this one stood out the most. Specifically, Megan G. Shout out. She is entirely committed to the process and is seeing absolutely incredible results. She's lost 27 pounds so far since September of 2023, and I'm recording this in June of 2024.

And shout out to Coach Nora, who's on our team. Coach Nora has only kept Megan in maintenance, meaning she's not in a deficit and she's not in a surplus. She's just eating at maintenance. She's eating enough to fuel her body. And because she's working out and doing strength training, she's building more muscle, which helps to burn more calories, and feeding the muscles and all of that jazz. So she's eating more food and has lost 27 pounds since last September: October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, right? Nine months. Nine months.

And then, like I said, Karen lost 80 pounds in three years. Everybody's journey is completely different. When I was talking about this same topic with our VIP community last night, there was a woman who shared in the comments that she's lost 80 pounds in 11 years, right? Everyone's journey is completely different. So I don't want you to hone in on, I should be losing 27 pounds or 80 pounds. It's completely different. My point is that Megan G was committed to the process, took massive action, and took control of her journey and of getting the results she wanted.

And what made these two stand out to me the most, what made Karen stand out, what made Megan G stand out, what made the other amazing testimonials we heard yesterday and always hear at the beginning of the month from the WarriorBabes stand out, and also the next story I want to share with you, is that these people had a why. Karen had a why. Megan G had a why. WarriorBabes have a why. On that call last night, I made everybody write in the chat box what their why was. And they were all able to identify their why: why they're starting, why they're on a fitness journey.

And when I ask, why do you want to do this, and I've said this before and I'll keep repeating it: yes, you want to lose weight. Yes, you want to lose fat. Yes, you want to tone up. Cool. I absolutely freaking love that type of goal. I'm so here for guiding women toward that goal. But that is very surface level, right? Let's get deeper. Why do you want to do that? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to lose fat? Why do you want to be more toned? Why do you want to have more muscle? What does health mean to you? What does toned mean to you? Right? Why, why, why? It's the power of the whys, like I said earlier.

And typically, I'm able to get a lot deeper. Coaches are able to get a lot deeper. It's, well, I want to be a role model for my kids. I want to have sex with my husband with the lights on. I want my husband to grab my ass and be like, damn, babe, you're working hard. Recognition. Women want to feel loved, right? Or, I grew up with my mom, who was in the diet world and on every new diet, and I don't want to lead my life that way. Or whatever you have, right? We can get a lot deeper when we ask why, why, why, why, why. And your why will keep you motivated and push you through all of the obstacles once you understand what it is.

So while I share this next story, I want you to think about what your why is. This story is about my parents, and it may get a little vulnerable. I'm not going to go as deep as I did with my WarriorBabe community, because honestly, I trust my WarriorBabe community a little bit more than I trust the general public, and family is family. They're blood, so I can't go as deep as I would want to, because if anyone fucks with my family, I'm going to fuck with you. I just have to say that because this is public, and it takes a lot to share stories like this with people I've never met in my life. But when you're inside of my community and you are a WarriorBabe through and through, it's a lot easier for me to speak to these things.

Anyway, vulnerable moment here. My parents went down a dark avenue about five, six, seven years ago. It actually all started in my early 20s. I know I told the WarriorBabes last night that it was five years, but it started in my early 20s, when my parents' marriage, and they've been married for 24 years now, was a bit rocky for certain reasons. But in the last five years, my parents really leaned on drinking and were heavily involved with alcohol, where it would be a party for one. On weekdays, bottles of wine would be opened and people would be drinking by themselves. And on weekends, they would drink until they were obliterated.

I know I can share this story now, and I can't wait to share it even more in the future, because they're working so hard to fix that. But it was getting pretty bad. It was getting pretty rocky in the house. I have a younger brother and sister, who are 18 and 20 years old, and the family unit was kind of being broken because of these antics, these weekend indulgences and weekdays. It was getting rough. There were some conversations I knew needed to be had with my family, sitting them down and saying, this is ridiculous, this is getting over the top. And the two of them, energetically, were distancing and falling apart, and you could feel the tension in the house, right?

It really started around summer or fall of last year, when I started to see my dad take a turn for the better. He started to lose weight. He started to work out. The drinking was still there, but he was starting to make some moves. He was starting to take control. And once my dad started doing these things, my stepmom started to do the same and follow suit. And I will say the last two, three months have been the most positive progress I have ever seen. Mind you, this started in the fall of last year. So they've been putting in the work. They've been taking control. They've been failing. They've hit some speed bumps. And they took control.

And to add to the beginning, they were both very, very overweight, because alcohol was getting to them and they were eating like crap. To this day, and I'm proud to say this, because my brother's graduation party was this past weekend, not one of them picked up a lick of alcohol. They have stopped drinking. Not completely; they've been able to limit themselves to maybe a drink here and there. Definitely not during the week or every single weekend anymore, for the past two, three months. But this weekend was the most rewarding, because they were hosting a party with about 70 people at their house and they didn't have a lick of alcohol.

Not just that, but combined they have lost 140 pounds. My dad has lost 80 pounds and my stepmom has lost 60. And on top of that, the family unit is getting so much stronger in that household. The energy is so much better. My parents are communicating so much better. I talked to my dad about this last week, and I was like, Dad, you guys are doing such a good job. I just want you to know that. I can feel it. I can see it. I can see that you guys are way better.

All that to say, they had a why. Either they were going to end up getting a divorce, breaking the family unit, and being that type of role model to my younger half sister and brother, or they were going to figure it the fuck out, because they truly do love each other. They just weren't the best communicators, and I feel like that is one of the most important things in anything. And they figured it out. They stumbled. They had their bumps over the almost-year they've been on this journey. But in the last three months, their hard work is really showing. And it's because they had a why.

Your why is your anchor. That was my parents' why for their journey. Your why is completely different. I had you think about it while I shared that story. Whatever it is, whether it's to feel healthier, to be an example for your family, to achieve a personal milestone, to have a better relationship with your partner, to have better health and longevity, whatever it may be, your why is your freaking anchor. And on days when you feel like giving up, remind yourself why you started. That's exactly what my parents did. That's exactly what Megan G did. That's exactly what Karen did. There were days when they wanted to give up. And it was either go back to their old ways and live the life they were living, or be reminded of why they started this journey and where they wanted to go, and just stay the course. Right?

So write down whatever your why is. Keep it visible. Let it be your guiding light in your journey. Your why is your commitment to yourself and to your journey. And when you have a why, it's much easier to take responsibility for your life, for the things you want to accomplish, because your why is rooted in what you want. It's not somebody else's why. It's your why. And when you're reminded of that, it's like, okay, this is easier for me to go work out today. This is easier for me to follow my nutrition guidance. Right? The commitment will follow. And when you combine your sense of responsibility with your why, you will create, not you can create, you will create unstoppable momentum in your journey.

Your why has to be at the forefront of your mind, though, especially on tough days. You've got to use it as fuel for your actions, for your decisions, and for whatever the next move is that you have to make in your journey. When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself of your why. When you're going to eat a meal, or work out, or you have a decision in front of you that may not be in line with your journey, think about how it lines up with your goals, and it will be an easy yes or no. Right?

When you embrace your why and you take responsibility, you set yourself up for the ultimate success in your journey. You set yourself up to operate from new standards, not the old standards you used to operate from. And it's not always going to be easy, but the rewards are totally worth it. The rewards are totally worth it for Karen, for losing 80 pounds and feeling so much better in her body. The rewards are totally worth it for Megan G, for losing 27 pounds and being a badass. I think she's in the army or a military unit or something like that. And the rewards are so worth it for my family. I can't explain it enough. Being on the sideline and seeing it from a 30,000-foot view, not being them in the day-to-day, is the most rewarding. They're rewarded, but this is the most rewarding thing I can say I've seen or experienced in my life, because now the family unit is restored and they're being better humans.

So all that to say, you need to take control. When you get off of this podcast today, think about where you're falling short for yourself. Where are you not taking the responsibility that you should be taking? Where are you not doing the work? And I challenge you to be honest with yourself, because that's the most important thing you can possibly do, not just for yourself, but for the results you want and for the people around you. I challenge you to be honest, and I challenge you to accept the honesty, to accept that you haven't been taking extreme ownership, that you've been dancing around it, and then do what is aligned with you to achieve your goals. All right, guys. So go do that. I love you all, and I'll see you in the next podcast.

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