Why Can't I Stay Consistent With Fitness After 40?

Nikkiey: You have had access to information your entire life. You've had access to information around nutrition. You have access to training information. You have access to things that you need to know about how to eat and how to move and how to work out that is freely available. That is not what has been missing. What has been missing is the moment that you just decide. You really decide. Not like you hope or you wish or you want or you intend or you try. It's that you are someone who does this.

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkiey Stott. In today's episode, I'm going to lean in with everything that I have, most importantly because I love you guys. But as I'm working out, when I'm in the gym and I'm pushing myself to the max, these thoughts come over me that I feel like I need to share with you.

The reason why I'm there is because nobody is coming to save me. And nobody is coming to save you either. Not you following a new program, not you waiting for January 1st, not the version of yourself that finally feels ready to dive into working out, like "my schedule is set and I can make this happen." Not motivation, not a season of life where everything is going to line up perfectly. Nobody is coming to save you. I know that may sound harsh, but stay with me here, because I genuinely believe that this is the most freeing thing that I can say to you.

And I hope by the end of this episode you're going to feel that way too, okay? If you've been following me for a really long time, I am direct, no BS, I will lean in. Because ultimately I've got to rock you and shake you, and I've got to challenge the stories that you've been driving yourself with for so long along your journey. In order for me to do that, I've got to bulldoze through, right? To have you think differently, show up differently, be differently. And I do this when I'm direct like this. I do this because I love you guys. I want you guys to win. I want you to succeed.

In my years of coaching hundreds, thousands of women, the way I've been able to get through really well is just by being direct. Maybe it's not received entirely by you, and that's okay. But there's somebody listening to this episode that's like, yes, lay it on me, okay?

Okay, so I want to start by naming something that I think most women know is happening, but maybe you just haven't said out loud. You consciously know this is going on, but maybe you just haven't acted on it.

What I mean by that is you have been waiting. You've been genuinely working, you've been genuinely trying, you've been genuinely wanting this thing. But underneath all of that effort, there has been this quiet background belief running that at some point something external is going to arrive and make this easier, make it click, and make it finally work in a way that hasn't worked before. It might look like you waiting for motivation to show up before you start, or waiting until the kids are older, or waiting until school starts back up, or waiting until that stressful job starts being less stressful. That's what I mean by having something external arrive that's going to help make it easier. Like the calendar is going to clear up. You're going to wait for the holidays to pass and the new year to begin, or wait for a program that finally feels right, or wait to understand enough before you act on things, right? Waiting to feel ready.

And here's the thing about waiting. It always has a reason. There always is a legitimate reason to wait. The timing is genuinely imperfect. Life is genuinely hard. The circumstances are genuinely not ideal. None of that is made up. But here's what I've learned from coaching so many women: the circumstances never become ideal. The timing never becomes perfect for you to start something. The motivation doesn't just arrive. And most importantly, it doesn't just stay. The readiness never precedes the action.

What I've seen in the women who are transforming is that they're not the ones who waited until the conditions were absolutely right. They're the ones who acted while the conditions were busy and weird and wrong and messy, and trusted that the conditions would improve once they were already in motion. So those of you who are waiting or wishing or hoping, maybe you are working, but you're more so leaning in like, "Oh, but I want this," while you're waiting for time to happen and things to fall into line. Waiting is not you. It's not preparation. Waiting is a trap. And the exit from it is not a better circumstance. It is you making a decision. So it's like, regardless of this busy season, I'm still going to make a decision to show up three times a week this week and work out. You get what I'm saying?

Here's what I mean when I say nobody's coming to save you, and what that actually is. For most of the women listening to this episode, the search for the right answer has been going on for years. Maybe even decades. I've coached women who have been stuck for 20, 30 years. You're doing program after program after program, coach after coach, diet after diet. And every time something new comes along that feels different, that seems like it might finally be the thing, there is this brief window of hope, followed by the familiar pattern of it not quite working out the way that you imagined it would.

And the quiet conclusion that forms over years of that cycle is: maybe I'm just the problem. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's the execution. I just can't follow through. Maybe I'm the one who just cannot do this. Maybe other women can, but I can't. I need you to hear this clearly. That conclusion is wrong. But it is also not entirely your fault that you reached that point, because you've been looking for the answer in the right places. You're looking for the right nutrition. You're looking for the training. You're looking for the accountability. But you have been waiting for those things to do something to you rather than deciding to do something with them. That is a massive difference.

The woman waiting to be saved is looking for something external to produce an internal result. The right program to make her disciplined: "Oh, this just feels right. This is going to make me more disciplined." Or the right motivation: "This is going to make me consistent." Or the right circumstances: "This is going to make it easier." But look, the one who shows up, the one who saves herself, understands that the internal result has to come first. Again, the decision to be someone who does this thing, who sets the standard for themselves, who makes the commitment, who makes a decision that I'm going to do X, Y and Z this week, because taking the action is ultimately going to keep me in line with the goal, whether it's this program or this busy season that I'm saying I can do this through, right? It comes before the external things can work, not after. The internal result has to come first. You have to be the one to work the thing, right?

You have had access to information your entire life. You've had access to information around nutrition. You have access to training information. You have access to things that you need to know about how to eat and how to move and how to work out that is freely available. That is not what has been missing. What has been missing is the moment that you just decide. You really decide. Not like you hope or you wish or you want or you intend or you try. It's that you are someone who does this.

I can't emphasize this enough, because I remember when I first started my journey, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. But you know what I did? I decided to get a coach, and I decided to listen to what he was saying immediately. What I've learned about myself, with anything that has come my way in terms of the empowering actions I have to take, is: okay, you need this? Here it is. This is what you're asking me to do? Okay, here it is. And obviously what's aligned with me, but you know what I mean? It's like, I'm making a decision to be someone who does this. Even if it may not be optimal, maybe it's a busy season, I'm still going to figure it out. That is not optional. That is a version of you on the other side of this. That is not a fantasy. It's a direction. You are going in that direction starting today, once you make a decision. Not because everything lined up, but because you decided. Does that make sense?

Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

So let me talk about what this actually feels like, because I think most women have made intentions and called them decisions, but they're not the same thing. An intention sounds like: I'm going to start eating better. I'm going to get back to the gym. I'm going to be more consistent this time. I'm going to make this a priority.

This is what a decision sounds like: This is happening. Not when I feel ready, not when it gets easier, not after the holidays or the birthday or the stressful month. Now. This is who I am. This is what I'm going to do. This is something I committed to. This is the check mark along the way to get to X goal. I'm making a decision to follow through on everything that is necessary to get me to that goal. The door is closed on the version of me that is going to negotiate with this every single Monday.

An intention leaves the door open. A decision closes that door. And here's why that matters practically. When the door is open, quitting is still on the table as an option. Your brain will find a way to walk through it every time the going gets hard, because your brain is wired to conserve energy. It will always find the most reasonable exit, and it will make that exit feel justifiable. If you had a bad week, a stressful month, the holiday season, an injury, a plateau, all of it becomes permission to walk through the door that should have been closed.

But the women who stop starting over are the ones who closed that door, who genuinely decided that this is not something they are trying anymore. They're not just dabbling, one foot in the door, one foot out the door. It is something that they are doing. And the bad weeks are a part of it. The hard months are a part of it. What I mean by that is in those seasons, maybe a four-day workout week looks like a two-day workout week, but you still made it happen. You guys can find two hours in a week to dedicate to yourself, even in the bad seasons, even in the hard months. None of it is permission to stop, because stopping is no longer an option on the table at this point.

That decision, you guys, is available to you right now. It's not only available to you in January, or when the season changes, or when the kids are back in school, or when work settles down, or when things get a little bit less stressful. If you guys can build this type of decision-making process in a busy season, you're going to be able to do an easier season easier.

An important thing that I can tell you guys here: you do not need to feel ready to make it happen. You don't need to feel confident. You don't need to believe fully. The decision comes first, and then you just say, yeah, sure, I got it, I'm going to do this. The belief is going to follow. I'm telling you. That's why, for me personally, I make decisions that are going to move me forward in life. I make decisions wisely, if that makes sense, because once I make a decision, I know that I commit to it and I'm going to figure out how to follow through on it. So the decision comes first, the belief is going to follow, and then the evidence is going to build. But the main thing here is that you have to decide first, and then everything else is going to catch up.

And just zoom out here for a second, because this episode is landing probably late September, early October. I think this timing is really important. Right now is the exact window. I said this in an episode before: most women are coasting right now. The holidays feel like they are right around the corner, and January feels like the natural reset point for people. And so these next couple of months become this holding pattern. It's like a waiting room. And I just want to challenge that directly, go right at it.

The women who walk into January already ahead have these months of momentum, these months of habits built, these months where the foundation is being laid and the consistency is dialed in. You don't need to start over in January. You already started, and you started in this quiet, intentional arena before the chaos is about to happen. You started when nobody was watching, when the external pressure was low, and the only reason to show up was a decision that you made.

So just go in with the motto: nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's coming to save you in January. It's just a date. It has no power other than the cultural norm and the cultural permission to start setting all these New Year's resolutions. You literally have your own. You don't need that. And the next version of you exists on the other side of consistency, showing up for these next couple of months, through October, through November, through December, through the holidays, through the hard weeks and the hard days. And even though you want to quit, you still keep going. You build this right now, in this season, by the decision that you make literally today. Not in January. Literally right now, not after the holidays. You get what I'm saying?

I know it may sound harsh, but nobody is coming to save you. Not a specific moment, not when you have more momentum, not a version of you that's like, "Oh, okay, I'm ready to do this." The decision is entirely yours, and that's power. I want you to think about that. Making decisions on a regular basis is a power that you choose for yourself, because it means that no one and nothing is standing between you and the life that you've been working toward. It's just a decision. "Hey, I want to commit to making my nutrition and my fitness better," which will transpire into so many other areas of your life.

So just close that door on waiting or hoping or wishing, or the intention of "well, I want to work on this." Just make the decision and show up imperfectly, messy, but do it through the hard weeks and the easy ones. Be consistent and also be messy, you know? But most importantly, you've decided. That woman is you. She's just waiting for you to stop waiting. Once you decide to do something, there's so much power on the other side of you following through.

So, ending my rant. I feel like that was an entire rant of an episode. But if you want to hear me talk about this when it comes to your macros and your muscles and your mindset, and putting this whole strategy into play, really that mindset pillar side of things, every week I go live and give you exactly what you need to help you put this into practice. And it's completely free. The link is in the description below for you guys to register. Come hang out. It's a 90-minute training, and you get so much value that maybe some light bulbs will go off, or maybe it will be the best advice that you've ever received in a 90-minute training.

All right, guys, I hope this episode helped you. If it did, just let that sit with you, right? Don't have any type of emotional reaction to it. Just hear the truth behind what I'm trying to portray to you guys, which is that you are the only one who can make the decision for you in the trajectory of how your health and your fitness go, and that whole journey. All right, guys, love y'all. I'll see you on the next one.

Hey, really quick before you go, I have one small favor to ask. If this episode brought you value or sparked something in you, take just a moment to hit that review button. Your rating and review make all the difference in helping more women discover the tools they need to transform their fitness and their confidence. It takes less than a minute, but it can change the path of someone else's journey. Thank you so much for leaving that review. I appreciate you so much.