Why Women Quit Fitness Right Before Results Show

Nikkiey: Confidence comes from staying when it's boring. I've heard so many times over the years of being in the industry that women get their program for four weeks and by the fourth week they're bored. So what? If you stay through that and you don't go into the gym and say, "I'm going to do a different workout program this week"... it's boring for a reason. When things are unclear, when progress isn't happening and you still stay and follow through, that's confidence being built. You stay when it's unclear.

Hey you guys, what's going on? Welcome back to another episode of The WarriorBabe Show with your host, Nikkiey Stott. On these episodes, we talk about mindset, methodologies and tactics that will help you lose body fat, build muscle, be strong and feel insanely confident.

So with today's episode, my friends, we are diving into number 327. Maybe you're listening to this in January when the new episodes are being released, or maybe you're listening to it later on, maybe even later in the year. But honestly, maybe it's at a point where you've reconnected or recommitted with yourself in the new year, whatever. I just want you to lean into this episode today with me, okay?

Because this episode is for the woman who's starting super strong. You know, the New Year's resolutions. You've got momentum, you've got motivation, you're excited to get some habits set in place, and you're following through with all of the things. But you're already starting to wonder if this is working, right? You're showing up, like I said, you're following through, you've cleaned things up, you're doing things differently. You said, "This is my year." But now maybe we're into the second week of the new year, whenever you're listening to this, and maybe you're starting to lose that excitement, or you're tired, and you're sore.

And maybe you're still working on that relationship with the scale. You've got emotional ties with it, you're trying to break those emotional ties, but you know it doesn't happen overnight. And maybe the scale hasn't moved the way you expected. And maybe there are other things going on. Maybe your body feels heavier, maybe you're puffier, maybe you're uncomfortable. Whatever you may be experiencing that isn't what you thought it would be is allowing these thoughts to creep in, like: maybe this isn't for me. Maybe I need to do something different. Maybe I need to eat less. Maybe I need to get into the gym more and spend more time in there. Maybe I should just stop.

Because realistically, I know I shared with you guys in an episode a couple of episodes ago that the gym was packed. I'm already seeing the gym start to trickle out. I'm surprised, because it's so early in the new year to see that already happening. But maybe you're just like, "I should stop." And I'm sure somebody at some point is going to have these thoughts. Okay? And that's why I want to grab hold of you guys sooner rather than later. So if that is you, if that's how you're feeling...

Or even if it's not yet, I bet it's going to happen at some point. So just stick with me in this episode. Because this episode will probably be one of the most important ones that you listen to all year, because it's going to help you guys to stay on track. I hope this episode comes back into your ear. You're listening to it now, and maybe in two months something just clicks and you're like, "I listened to that episode two months ago." I just hope and pray.

But anyway, this is the thing that I've seen over years and years of being in the industry. Most women don't quit because nothing is happening. They quit because progress doesn't look the way that they expected it to look, because we've been conditioned to believe that results should happen super fast, that they should be visible, and that they're linear. People think a fat loss scale goes a certain way, because you've probably seen it. Let me just remind you guys too: social media is a highlight reel. There are coaches out there posting the testimonials of the people they're working with and showing these insane results. They're doing it because they want to get you guys on board and show you that's possible for you. But I just wish some coaches out there would be a little bit more realistic, in terms of someone whose progress took a full year. That's why, if you guys go to WarriorBabe, we have success stories, client interviews that we do on our website, and you'll hear the truth behind these women's stories. It didn't happen fast. It wasn't visible immediately. And it wasn't linear.

To my point, a fat loss graph like the ones you see a lot on social media goes down in a nice, beautiful fashion. It's not like that in a realistic way. For some people it is, but more often than not, for the majority of people, the graph looks like down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up. When we change this, it's going to feel slow, or it's going to feel messy, or it's going to feel uncomfortable. That's far more important to accept, because it's actually what's happening. It is meant to be slow. It is meant to be messy. It's meant to be uncomfortable. It's meant to take time.

And the thing is, I believe every transformation has an uncomfortable aspect to it. There is. And not just that I believe it: there actually is. And again, this is what doesn't get highlighted or talked about as often. In the middle of every single transformation, there's this meaningful phase that happens. It's not the exciting beginning. It's not always the satisfying result that you get at the end. Right? Because a lot of people, like I'm talking about, are excited at the beginning. You have momentum, you have motivation. And then once you finally do get to the end of it, you're like, "Yes, I've accomplished this goal. It's satisfying. The result I have is amazing."

Nobody talks about the middle. And this is what you may be experiencing, even if it's early on. This may be what you experience in two months. This may be what you experience come mid-March or April or whatever. And then you're back in the gym in May because you're trying to get that summer body together. I hope and pray that you can keep this consistency. And it doesn't have to be perfect.

Let me just add a little story here for you guys. I shared on social media that I sit behind a computer the majority of the time because of my work, so I've been trying to get better at intentionally getting my steps in this year. On Tuesday of last week, I had 3,000 steps, maybe 4,000, right at the end of the day. I was like, "Dang, that sucks." I could have given up on my step count then. I could have said, "This is not going to happen. I'm not being realistic." That's just an excuse. That's just a story or a narrative that's coming back into play, because that's how I ended my year. That's how the majority of my year looked last year. My step count was terrible. I'm not perfect. I'm consistent, though. I got right back to it the next day. I didn't allow one day to trip me up. And that's what it means when it comes to working out, and when it comes to your nutrition and everything like that.

What I'm talking about here is that there's this middle phase where you're not going to have that momentum, you're not going to have that motivation, you're not going to feel those things. And that result is still so far away. So you have to get used to this middle area where the way you're showing up may not look perfect, but at least you're showing up consistently. And in this phase, your habits are starting to change.

You're drinking more water, you're dialing in on what you're eating on a daily basis, you're consistently showing up to your workouts. It may not be perfect every time you get there, but you're still showing up. Your habits are changing. But I need you to understand that the identity you're working towards creating and becoming hasn't caught up yet. This is a phase where your body is adapting, right? It hasn't yet revealed the outcome, the satisfying result you're going for, but your body's adapting here. You can't see these things, but they're happening.

Another thing is that your nervous system is adjusting to you being more consistent, instead of you being in a chaotic state where you have to get this done. I put on my Instagram story the other day: if you are losing momentum or motivation, remind yourself that you don't have to work out. You get to work out, because moving your body is a blessing. So your nervous system is adapting to: I don't need to be perfect. I don't need to be all or nothing. I just need to be consistent.

Some of you guys aren't used to that, and that's what this middle phase is building within you. This phase is also where fat loss is happening internally before it shows externally. I always say you can't see or feel the things that are happening inside because they're non-tangible, but you're realigning your metabolism, the systems and processes in your body, to make fat loss happen externally. So it's going to happen internally before you ever see it externally.

Hormones are recalibrating, inflammation is shifting, your metabolism is learning to trust food again. And because this phase doesn't look like progress, because sometimes you can't physically see those things happening, it feels like you're not making progress. It feels like you're failing. And that is where and why most women quit. Not because they're weak, and not because they lack discipline, but because they never thought about what this phase would feel like, what it's supposed to feel like, and what is actually happening. Some people want those things to happen so fast. Like I said, they want these quick, instant results. They start making this work, but they give up too soon, before their body is even able to show them the result that they want and are actually working towards. They stop too soon to get it.

Quick break. If you're finding this episode helpful so far, it would mean a lot if you could hit pause for just a second, leave a quick rating or review, or share it with someone who's going to get it, who could benefit from it. Your support helps more women discover these tools to build muscle, lose fat and feel confident. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me.

Am I able to gently but clearly challenge something here with you guys? I'm hoping you guys are saying yes, because I know I'm talking to you through a microphone and you're listening to me through your speakers or your headphones. I'm hoping you're saying yes. But anyway, when women say, "This isn't working," what you usually mean is, "This doesn't feel good yet," because you want that instant feel-good, that instant result. Or, "This isn't giving me instant reassurance." And what it usually means, and what people need to develop more of, is that this is requiring patience. And guess what? Patience is uncomfortable, especially if you've spent years starting and stopping over and over and over again. But your body doesn't change on your emotional timeline, my friends.

It changes on a biological one. And what that biological timeline needs and requires is for you to be consistent, for you to create that safe environment within your body and your mind, and time, which so many of you hate. Let's be real and honest with ourselves here. Patience is hard. Just accept it, call it for what it is, name it. Okay.

Now, I also want to dive into the scale with you guys for a second, because this is where a lot of women emotionally unravel. You start doing things right. You eat more consistently, you're eating enough to fuel your body and the processes internally to start shifting things.

You're lifting weights, you're drinking your water, you're resting when you're supposed to, you're getting enough sleep at night. And sometimes when you step on the scale, the scale stalls, doesn't do anything, or goes up, or it fluctuates up and down, and your brain, ladies, panics. And again, it emotionally unravels you. You step on the scale in the morning, and if it goes down, you're emotionally charged by that. You go on being like, "I'm going to get my workout in, I'm going to get my steps in today, I'm going to eat my macros, things are working." You step on the scale the next day, it goes up, and you're like, "Screw this, this isn't working." You just start to unravel, your brain panics, right?

But let me remind you guys: the scale doesn't measure the glycogen replenishment that you're giving your body with carbs. It doesn't measure muscle inflammation from hitting a hard, big muscle group in your workout the day before. It doesn't measure your hormonal shifts if you are still someone who gets your period on a monthly basis. It doesn't even measure the cortisol when you're stressed out. At that point, when you start panicking, you start questioning the entire process. You start switching gears to a new plan. You start switching gears to "I need to cut more." You start switching gears to following new rules: "I need to cut carbs, I need to fast, I need to..." Your mind is wired that way, and that's okay, that's just how we're wired.

But every time you do that, you're giving your brain more reason to believe that "I don't finish what I start." I mean, how many of you guys have started and stopped? And that's not a fitness issue. That's not a program issue. That's not a workout issue. That's an identity issue. That's a you issue. I'm just going to say that with love, because I want to call it for what it is. I want you guys to stop the start, stop, start, stop cycle. Say that ten times fast.

Because this part matters. Every time you quit, even quietly, you're reinforcing a belief that "I can't trust myself. I don't follow through on things." Sometimes, unconsciously, you may not even notice this is happening, but there's a conversation going on in your brain. When you're about to start a new program, you have to go tell your husband you're starting a new program, and you don't even want to bring up that conversation, because you know what your husband's going to say. He's going to call you out and hold you accountable. He's going to be like, "Another one?" And it's true, because you're reinforcing that every time you give up, because you're allowing the scale, or something else, to dictate whether you're making progress or not. And over time, that belief becomes heavier than the physical weight that you're trying to lose.

Because the thing is, and I've said this so many times, the confidence that you are trying to build for yourself doesn't come from being perfect. Like I said earlier, it doesn't come from showing up to a program and being perfect every single day. You're going to burn out.

What confidence does come from is following through, even if the follow-through looks like 30% on the day. That was me on Tuesday last week. I was at 30% on my day, maybe 40%, because 4,000 steps out of 10,000 is 40%. I still showed up, though. I still did something as best as I could that day. Confidence comes from staying when it's boring. I've heard so many times over the years of being in the industry that women get their program for four weeks, and by the fourth week they're bored. So what? If you stay through that, you don't go into the gym and say, "I'm going to do a different workout program this week." It's boring for a reason. When things are unclear, when progress isn't happening, and you still stay and follow through, that's confidence being built. You stay when it's unclear, when it doesn't make sense. You stay when you don't feel rewarded yet.

I think everyone would be accomplishing their goals if they received some type of reward at the end of every single day. Right? But with fitness, working out and changing your body composition, you don't get a reward every day, in terms of what a lot of people want to see. You get a reward from consistently following through. Yes, that's where confidence comes from. It comes from staying when you don't feel rewarded yet. You do get some type of reward from crushing your workouts, if you want to look at it that way. But a lot of people look at it like, "Am I making progress?" And this is also right before results start to show up, which is where a lot of people start to give up. You could be doing all these things, and like I said, the progress is not always showing up externally.

Right before you're about to give up, right before those results are about to show... I've seen that Instagram picture of the guy chiseling away. It's like a meme. He's chiseling away at a mound of rocks. He keeps chiseling away and chiseling away and chiseling away. He's working at it. He doesn't see it yet, but there's a diamond right in the middle. You don't see it yet. That diamond is your body changing and creating a transformation.

It's starting to show progress, right? Starting to show the results. Most women keep chiseling, putting in the work. They're doing the work. It may not look perfect, right? And they're doing it and doing it and doing it. And by the time they get to the point where the next swing at the rock wall is going to break through to the diamond, most women stop right there. And what's happening right before that is your metabolism is starting to stabilize, your hunger cues are recalibrating, your strength is increasing, your stress response is lowering. But because these changes are internal first, like I said, your brain doesn't celebrate them. So what it does is try to pull you back into what's familiar. It pulls you back into restriction, pulls you back into control, pulls you back into chaos, pulls you back into starting over again.

That's not progress. That is you self-sabotaging. And for many women, it's disguised as strategy: "I need to cut, I need to work harder, I need to be all or nothing." I mean, has that ever worked? Let me just ask you that. Has that ever worked? Are you where you want to be? The majority of you are probably going to say no.

So if you are in that phase right now... and again, I'm hoping I'm capturing all of your souls before you hit it. You are going to hit it at some point, it's inevitable, but maybe this will be on replay in your mind. Maybe you come back to episode 327 and listen to this again. If you're in that phase right now, here's what I want you to focus on.

Number one: stop asking, "Is this working?" Stop asking, "Is this working?" Better yet, start asking yourself, "Am I being consistent?" Not, "Am I being perfect?" Not, "Am I all or nothing?" Am I being consistent? Do some days look like 30%? Cool. Do I show up the next day at 70%? Cool. That's consistent.

Number two: measure your wins differently. Don't focus on the number on the scale. Ladies, please focus on strength increases. Focus on how your energy is feeling. Focus on experiencing better recovery. Focus on having less obsession over food, over working out, over getting your steps in.

Number three: it's going to be uncomfortable, so expect the discomfort. Please allow yourself to be uncomfortable in this journey, but don't interpret it as danger. Growth is always going to be uncomfortable. Growth is always going to feel uncertain, unfamiliar and unclear before it feels empowering.

And then just remember and lean into the person that you're becoming. I always say this: who you are now looks different from who you're becoming at the end, once you've accomplished what you want. Women who get results aren't the ones who start the most. They're the ones who actually finish. So who is the person you're working to evolve into? What is she doing differently than what you're doing now? Because that person has already accomplished the goal. She's logging her meals in MyFitnessPal. She's waking up and making sure they're logged for the day. She's getting her workouts done consistently on a weekly basis. Right? Just think about that. Because this is much bigger than macros. It's much bigger than weight loss. This is bigger than January motivation and a New Year's goal.

It's about becoming who you say you're going to become and keeping the promises you're making to yourself. Being the one who doesn't run when the moment gets hard, feels uncomfortable or feels uncertain. The one who doesn't continue to seek reassurance every single day and then run away when the reassurance disappears. Right? Think about the middle phase of a journey, and just be the woman who stays through that phase as best as you can, 1% better every single day. Because she's going to get results. But more importantly, she's going to become someone who trusts herself again, believes in herself and has confidence, because she followed through this time.

All right? If you're listening to this and you're in that middle phase, or maybe the middle phase is going to happen in the weeks or months to come, because it will, just know you're not doing anything wrong. You're exactly where most women quit. And if you stay, you won't just see and experience the transformation you want to have. You are going to start embodying it because of the work that you just went through. So I don't know if you need to hear it, but I'm proud of you for being in the middle phase, because that's where you can learn a lot about yourself, your habits and all the things I talked about in this episode today.

All right, my friends. I love you guys, and I'll see you in the next episode.

Real quick: if this episode resonated with you or gave you the push you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review, share the podcast with someone who might need it, and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so, so much for your support.