How to Push Through Adversity: Lessons From Hannah Eden

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Hannah: And so I told her one day at the hospital as a joke, "Jess, I'm going to run around Iceland for you. I'm going to do something. I need you to just imagine what it would be like with you and your boys, both of your babies, at the end of the finish line, and I'm going to do this for you." And she's like, "You're fucking crazy." I was like, "No, but really, I'm going to do it." And it became kind of a joke. And then I went home and I was like, shit. Now I actually have to see if this is possible.

Nikkiey: What's up, you guys? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. Today we have another special guest virtually here with us: fitness entrepreneur, athlete and soon-to-be mom, Hannah Eden. In the brief moment that I met her at CoachingCon, I met you in the bathroom when you had to pee. I stopped you in the hallway. I was like, damn, she's a pretty dope human. I'm super excited to have her here today to share her story and so much more with us. So Hannah, welcome to the show. Excited that you're here.

Hannah: Oh, man. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for today.

Nikkiey: Yeah, cool. So tell us, even selfishly, I want to know more about you, even though I learned a lot at CoachingCon. Share with us a little bit about what you do with your tribe, with the HEF Tribe and all that stuff.

Hannah: Absolutely. So my first business venture was opening up a gym in 2015. And it was awesome. We built a really strong community in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We had the gym for five years. But two years into having the gym, I had started to build my online brand. When social media was just becoming something cool, I started to build my social media page. So I launched an online training platform and tried to create a virtual community, which is now the HEF Tribe globally, because so many people were accessing my programs through the content I was filming with other massive brands that I wanted to do it for myself as well. So since 2017, we've had many stages of evolution of the HEF training option, which is now the HEF training app.

And we have an incredible community all around the world. It started as kind of an experiment: okay, what we're doing in the gym is working. How can we get this kind of programming and protocol out there successfully for people to do at home or virtually all around the world? It started with daily sweat programming just typed up. Then we started to launch eBooks, when eBooks first started to become cool. It's just been so many different stages of evolution. And now we have a really dope app that thousands of people around the world are subscribed to.

We have daily sweat workouts that we post, and we also release in-app programs every so often. And the things we do now to complement that with the HEF Tribe are community workouts and retreats. I just got back from one, actually, in Bali, and we get to do the face-to-face human hugs and the real-life experience as well. The virtual world is obviously so powerful and effective and can reach so many people, but it's not quite the same as getting to squeeze someone and have eye contact with someone you've met who supports me from afar, and whose life I've been able to affect in some way as well.

Nikkiey: Yeah, that's awesome. And let the community know what's up with you right now. You're a soon-to-be mom.

Hannah: Yeah.

Nikkiey: How far along are you?

Hannah: So I just passed the six-month mark. I'm about 25 weeks now, which is crazy. It's like, whoa, we're really almost there. Shit, we better start on the things that matter.

Nikkiey: Like putting together the crib and all that stuff.

Hannah: Yeah, exactly. The last three months have been a whirlwind, which we kind of knew they would be. We had so much travel planned and so many events going on. We got home yesterday, actually, from our final trip. And we were like, okay, now we need to choose colors for the nursery. We've got all these swatches all over the wall, and we need to start to build the crib and do all the things. I have friends that have had their babies at 30 weeks, so that's right around the corner. And just in case, who knows what's going to happen, but it's time to nest and to settle down, which is kind of fun.

Nikkiey: I was going to use that word, nest and nesting.

Hannah: Yeah, I think that's what they call it. I have no idea, but yes.

Nikkiey: I've never been pregnant before, but that's so exciting for you. So we'll put a pin in that, because I definitely want to circle back to the pregnancy conversation. But first, I listened to you speak at CoachingCon, and this specific story was so freaking impactful that I'd love for the audience to learn more about you through the light of what you've accomplished. So can you share about that amazing feat of cycling and running 828.6 miles around Iceland? Basically, being so precise.

Hannah: You're welcome.

Nikkiey: Absolutely. Doing it in nine days. What motivated you to take that on? Share that journey with us.

Hannah: Yeah, totally. It was a really challenging time in my personal life. And while my personal life was being affected in this really negative and really life-changing way, my business and my brand were thriving. I had built a massive social media following, and there were a lot of eyes on me every day.

And I had a couple of choices on how I dealt with it. One of my best friends was diagnosed with stage four cancer while being six months pregnant. And I remember maybe three months prior, I had done my first charitable mission, using my body and my fitness for the greater good. It was to raise money for an orphanage in Haiti. And when that had happened, I was supporting someone else. It was their mission. And I remember thinking at the end of that, wow, we just attempted running 230 miles through Haiti and we raised a shit ton of money for these kids.

But I had never met these kids before. And three months later, my best friend gets diagnosed with cancer. She's pregnant. It's like, okay, shit. If I was willing to do that for these little kids that I'd never met before, I have to do something. And I said it on stage and I'll say it again: I thrive in control. And when this news was handed to me, I lost all control. I had absolutely no power to change the reality of what was happening. And I felt totally helpless.

And I remember how empowering it felt to do that charitable event. Even though we were making a small difference, we were still making a difference. We were able to do something that could impact people in a positive way. So as soon as I found out, obviously, I dealt with it on a personal level. I honestly kind of let go of everything, meaning my business and my life, to try and support and help and do what I could. And it became evident pretty quickly that there was nothing anyone could do.

And we just had to figure out the best way to keep Jessica's mind intact, because I had known the power of the mind. And I think everyone at that point knew she needed to keep her head in the game if we had any hope. And naively, I think we all thought that she was going to survive. She was a very goal-oriented person, always looking for the next thing to level up on. Her husband was really great friends with my husband, and they'd been together for, I think, 10 years at that point. Paolo and I had been together for so long.

And it was rare to find another couple that had been through the ringer with each other and had grown together. So we became really, really good friends. They'd had their first son two years prior. And the thoughts going through everyone's minds were just chaotic, as you can imagine. We have to do something. This can't be real. We can't accept this truth. And so I decided with her and her husband, as I started to see her mind slip, we've got to give her something to look forward to. She needs hope.

All hope was falling through her fingers. Let's give her something to work towards or to visualize. And so I told her one day at the hospital as a joke, "Jess, I'm going to run around Iceland for you. I'm going to do something. I need you to just imagine what it would be like with you and your boys, both of your babies, at the end of the finish line. And I'm going to do this for you." And she's like, "You're fucking crazy." I was like, "No, but really, I'm going to do it." And it became kind of a joke. And then I went home and I was like, shit. Now I actually have to see if this is possible.

I'd put that out there. I had to be willing to try and do this. So I did. I went home and was Googling routes around Iceland, trying to figure out if there was some kind of existing route I could try to do, or some crazy distance. I wasn't thinking the whole country. And then I realized that Iceland isn't that big. And I had known that it was possible to attempt 200-plus miles on foot from Haiti. So I was like, if I bring in a bike and I'm running too, I could probably do this.

And there was this one big diagram, which I actually have tattooed on my forearm, of the country of Iceland. It had this red line, which is Route 1, and it's called the Ring Road. It's this circular route that goes around the entire edge of the country. And I was like, I think it's possible. So I gave myself 12 months. I went back to the hospital with all these printouts for Jess to say, I'm going to do it. And it became a thing. And I got myself a coach. I really thought, okay, if I'm going to do this and actually accomplish it, I need to give myself enough time.

Because in Haiti, I had just showed up to the event because it was someone else's mission. And it became very evident that my body broke down before my mind did, which was probably the most frustrating thing that's ever happened. I never got the opportunity to test my mental limits because I felt like my ankles were dislocated with every step. I wasn't really equipped or prepared to do that mission, and it was a lot of pain. So I took the time that I needed. I found my coach. I'd probably cycled maybe five miles before that, but I was an athlete and I was willing to go there.

I was willing to put my body through what it needed to go through to prepare for something as daunting as that. And I did, man. It was the craziest experience. I remember my first training session on a bike. I was struggling to get to 30 minutes. I was like, oh my God, this hurts. I don't know if I can do this. But slowly and surely, I just kept showing up and kept training.

Nikkiey: Quick, right there. How did you train and prepare yourself, both physically and mentally, for such a demanding endeavor? And then I'm going to ask how much you cycled and how much you ran. But how did you train and prepare yourself for that?

Hannah: I was so fortunate that I had a network of friends, and I was working with NordicTrack at the time. NordicTrack has some of the best trainers in the game. They had all these ultra athletes, these ultramarathoners, just insane athletes who were into endurance. A lot of them became my good friends, and I had a great network of coaching resources. I reached out to Amanda Basham, who's now two babies deep and still such a badass endurance athlete.

This is what they do. Maybe not 800 miles. And they kept saying, this is a really long way. Running 100 miles, running 200 miles, whatever that is, that's crazy stuff. There's a very certain mindset or willingness to go there, right? So I needed to be immersed in the knowledge of all of these people who do this all the time. So I got myself a really solid coach, and I said, let's start as if I've never done anything before. Although I was super fit in one modality.

Anyone in the fitness industry knows they're not transferable skills. Just because you're great at one thing doesn't mean you're going to be great at something else. You might be decent at it and be able to make your way, but you have to specialize if you want to do something as crazy as this. So I started to lessen my regular training and started with 30 minutes. Then it was 45, then 60, and then 90. And we would do different types of training. I wouldn't just show up and go for distance every day. I would do interval training. I would do tempo training to try to increase my lactate threshold.

And then I would do endurance runs and recovery runs. It was really important to maintain the state of my body at that time and to match my fuel intake. So whatever my output was, the food going in was the same. And I did this slowly over the course of, I want to say, 10 to 11 months, consistently, every single day. It became my life. I got a new office that had a treadmill in it so my team could be in the office, and I was training while I was working. I just did whatever I could. It was such a cool adventure to embark on.

But it was also my way of dealing with this shit storm that was happening in my life, where I didn't know how to deal with it. My way was pouring myself into training and feeling that pain and trying to deal with the mental suffering that was going on as well. I was a psycho. I would train in absolute silence, with just the thoughts going through my mind of what I was witnessing with my friend. I was at the hospital a lot, seeing very firsthand the most painful thing I've ever seen anyone go through.

It was like, what I'm feeling when I'm running, what I'm feeling when I'm cycling, this isn't pain. This is discomfort that I choose to do. And what's happening with Jess right now is not a choice, right? She's essentially dying. At that point, I didn't quite understand that. But I was watching someone die, which sounds so morbid, but it's a really hard thing to be part of. And so the training started to get higher and higher in volume. Then we started to do block training and brick training with biking and running. And right towards the end of my training, before I went off on the actual mission, it was five- and six-hour sessions a day and 5,000-plus calories of food.

And I just became this machine. I had this goal in my mind, and I had so much determination to get there. I left in July, and in March of the same year, Jess passed away, on March 27th.

Nikkiey: And this was during training, right?

Hannah: Yeah. And then it was like, oh, shit. Now everything has changed. I had this whole plan of bringing this massive media team. I was so naive.

I thought she was going to survive. I really did think she was going to be at the end of the finish road, and that would be the road to recovery. And when she passed away, it was like, all right, well, I have to do this for her now. But now I didn't want a production team there. We had someone document it, and we have a really brief documentary of the whole thing on YouTube, but we really didn't get into the nitty gritty. And at first I was like, I don't want my husband there. I don't want anyone I'm vulnerable around there. We just have to fucking go. I just need a mechanic and a doctor.

And after she passed away, it was like, no, no, no, all of us need to be there. And I need to eliminate anyone who isn't close to this situation and just give us all some time and space to go through this shit and to mourn.

Nikkiey: I'm going to cut you off right there, because something popped into my head. I remember you talking about it at CoachingCon. I seriously respect the way you explained it, and I respect everything you just shared there, the whole journey you went on, the discomfort and pain, and recognizing that this was your choice and Jess didn't get to choose.

But one thing you just said was that you didn't want anybody there, almost not even your husband. You didn't want the media team there. You didn't want all of your loved ones there. And at CoachingCon, you spoke about how you are around those people and how you needed to be to accomplish the mission and the goal. So can you talk about those two different states? There's the "head down, let's fucking go." And then there's you with your family, where there's an emotional connection.

Hannah: Yeah, I have this strange ability to turn on a switch. When I turn on this switch and go all in, I'm like this in business. I'm like this at a competition. I'm like this if I'm doing something as crazy as Iceland. It's not a nice version of myself. It's primal. I will do whatever the fuck it takes. It's aggressive. It has no patience.

It is here to do a mission, and no one will get in my fucking way. The soft side of me just disappears, and it's not that nice to be around. I totally go inside of who I am. I don't talk to anyone. I don't really want to converse. I don't want to share what my experience is like. I'm in go mode. And when I'm around my loved ones, just like any of us, we're the most vulnerable we can be. And there's no space for vulnerability when I'm in this other mindset. I'd been there before. I'd known that side of myself. I didn't want to argue with people who might have been offended by what I was doing.

I was there to do a job and a job only. And I couldn't let my soft, vulnerable side, which totally exists, and that's who I am wholeheartedly, show up when I had a job to do. So I told my husband, I love you, but you can't come. You can't be there. I think it's so important, the words that come out of our mouths and the thoughts that go through our minds when we're doing something like that. If we let the weak thoughts come in or the doubt start to slip in, then it consumes us. And I will never doubt myself if I'm surrounded by killers and in this space to go, because there's only one thing to do here.

But when I'm with the people I love, I might start to say, hey, I'm sore, or, do you think I can do this? I let the vulnerable fear or the doubt slip in. And I just didn't think that was possible. But I actually also learned on that trip that wasn't the truth. That was a story I told myself, because I was still able to do it with so much vulnerability and so much softness, just surrendered to the entire thing.

And it was very different. But prior to it, I thought there was only one option, and it was to go stuck in psycho mode and get this done.

Nikkiey: Even just hearing you share it here again, I remember feeling that so hard. I resonate with that so hard. Even sitting here hearing it again, I have chills listening to it. And I know a lot of people will resonate with that too. When people are going after their fitness goals, they have loved ones around them saying, oh, you don't need to do that. And then they're like, no, I want to do this for me.

There's a fine line between having to push forward in go mode, beast mode, head down, hat on, and not falling. It's that fine balance of, I need to push through to what I want to do, and I love you guys, but I'm here. But then there's the power of vulnerability, where you surrender to everything, which at that caliber is another world from what you did. But even that little glimpse of how people go after their fitness journeys is very relatable.

Hannah: Yeah, totally. It's an interesting space. And now I think age and experience have a lot to do with it as well. You can do both. There's this fine line of still harnessing that mindset and that "I'm going to fucking go get it" attitude, but not necessarily making that mindset everyone else's problem. Anything I've done since that's really hard, that's been the mission in my mind. The intention going in is, no matter how hard this gets, this is my choice. I chose to show up here, and it will not become anyone else's problem but my own.

And I don't want to make it a miserable experience for the people around me. I definitely used to be like that when I was in what I'd call a killer mindset. David Goggins talks about how there's David Goggins and then there's Goggins, right? They're two different people, like a split personality, and being able to turn it on or turn it off. I think it's now possible to harness both at the same time and have control over your emotions, to show people certain sides and then show yourself the other, the fucking aggressive monster.

Nikkiey: Yeah. I love it. It's like Hannah Eden and Hannah, the two.

Hannah: Totally.

Nikkiey: So you mentioned, when you were sharing the journey, that Jess did pass away. And wrapping back around to that, that had to be freaking devastating. Your whole plan was to have her at the end, to have her watch you cross the finish line with her boys. So that was a challenge. But what were some of the other biggest challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them while you were training? And then while you were actually doing it, the run and the cycle.

Hannah: Yeah. It was really complicated. Complicated might not be the right way to describe it, but at the time it was a very complicated and confusing journey to navigate. Jess passed away. Luckily, the baby she was pregnant with survived. He was 27 weeks, which is so crazy to me as a mom-to-be at 25 weeks now. It's insane to think that a child could survive at that age, but he did.

And he's thriving and living his best life. But there was a lot to try to navigate, because Jess's husband, Jeff, was obviously going through his own experience of whatever was going on in his mind. And now it was like, okay, we have to be sensitive towards everyone who's going through this. It was the "when it rains, it pours" analogy. That couldn't be more true than this chapter of my life. Jess passed away on the 27th of March, and we were at the hospital picking up her death certificate.

And I walked outside and my husband was in a pile of tears on the floor. His brother had just passed away, within two or three days. And I remember in that moment just being like, how are we here? And then battling with, should I be doing this? Should this mission be what I'm focusing on right now? Is this the right thing to be doing? And it was battling between that and the other side, which was, no, you said you were going to do this. This is not about you. This is so much bigger than you.

You have to do this for Jess. And at that point, we had opened it up to the public: if anyone has ever been affected by cancer, please write us a letter, and I want to dedicate some of these miles to you and to your loved ones who are either still here or whom you've lost along the way. So then there was that responsibility of, okay, it isn't about me. I can't let these people down. We're doing so much greatness here. NordicTrack came in and really supported me on this mission. I went to Iceland about three months before I left to do the mission.

And we filmed a full running program there, which you can still find on the NordicTrack platform. They released the program while I was actually doing the mission, and for the first 24 or 48 hours, they said, for every mile run on the platform, where they have millions of subscribers, we will donate $1 per mile, and we will donate it to the Huntsman Cancer Institute. So there was so much happening. There was so much duality in it all. Oh my gosh, this is so personal, but now it's become so public.

Am I doing the right thing by showing up and actually going through with this mission? Or should I be staying home and supporting family through the shit that's also going on inside our personal family? There was so much happening that there were a lot of conflicted feelings, and it was really complicated, but also so simple at the same time. It was like, no, you've come this far in training. You told Jess that you would do this. The conversations I had with Jess before she passed away, those are things I hold so close to my heart. I'm not going to do the disservice of quitting. I'm not a fucking quitter.

I'm going to make this happen. And it was just a really weird place to be. I didn't want as much attention on it as I probably would have if she hadn't passed away or all this stuff wasn't happening in my life. Jeff also had to leave America to be there. He didn't come for the whole trip. It was so much all at once that it's almost like you black out in these stages of life, or your brain decides to suppress that memory. So there are some things I don't even remember, because it was such a challenging time.

I was just in this floating autopilot mode of, you have to get through this. And once this is done, then we can really recalibrate and figure out where to go from here. It was really hard, but so beautiful. Everything all at the same time.

Nikkiey: Yeah. That's incredible. You dedicated all of your training, then showed up and did it. So let's talk about the doing of it. How much of the 800-plus miles was cycling and how much was running?

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Hannah: So it's funny. Initially, it was supposed to be eight days. I had my crazy mind, like, I'm a goal-oriented, type A motherfucker.

So before I went, I downloaded Strava and set out the stretches I would do every day, so I had a goal to work towards every day, and it was over 100 miles every day. But I was naive, which I think I'm really grateful for, because if I hadn't been, fear and doubt and all these stories would have shown up in my mind beforehand. I did not look into the terrain. I did not look into whether there were hills or if it was flat, or what the incline or decline was. And I didn't know what the weather would be like.

And Iceland is notorious for having the craziest weather. The reason we chose that time was that it was supposed to be summer, when they have 24 hours of daylight, because during certain times of the year it's 24 hours of darkness. We showed up for day one, went to the weather station, and they said, this is the worst summer we've had in something like 40 years. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Of course it is. Oh my God. On day one, we set out on this mission, and I was hoping, with my training splits translating into reality, that for those 100-ish miles a day I could do a stretch of 50 on the bike, get off, run 10 and then finish up on the bike. I had this solid, rigid plan for myself. But right before I went to start, and it was definitely self-inflicted, I got a stress fracture in my foot. So I started the whole mission with a stress fracture, and I was like, shit. So then I had to check my ego, which ruined my plans.

And I wasn't great at dealing with change, especially at that time. This was six years ago now. I had a plan and I needed to stick to the plan. So that rocked me a little bit. And then on day one we set off, and there were 14-mile-per-hour headwinds pushing me backwards. I felt like I was cycling through mud. I could not get any speed. I was being pushed backwards. It was raining. The hills were fucking crazy. It would be a slight incline, but for 20 miles. It was an absolute nightmare. And you see that in the documentary.

My goal was, okay, if I stick to what's been happening in training. But I lived in fucking Florida, which is flat, right? I did not take that into account. I was comparing those speeds and that output to what I thought I could do in Iceland. I was like, it'll probably take me around 12 hours, I'll be done, I'll be able to get good rest every day, and we'll just repeat the cycle for eight days. That was the goal. On day one, we started at the crack of dawn and we didn't finish till almost two in the morning. And I had not finished what I wanted to do on day one.

And again, it's that choice of what do you do? Do you let panic set in? Do you let yourself feel like you failed on day one, with this massive mission in front of you, having not even put a dent in the distance you need to do? Or do you have a pep talk, get your shit together and re-navigate how you do this? And that's what I did. I went somewhere alone that first night and said, stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Okay, it's not working how you thought it was going to. Let's flip the script. Let's figure out some other way, because it just felt like so much pressure.

I failed, I'm behind, I lost this one. All these things kept coming in. How am I going to be able to finish this if I keep this up? The worst conversation inside my mind. So I switched it and said, you know what? You need to rest. You can't keep working until two or three in the morning, getting three hours of sleep and then trying to do it again. That's not going to work. I had organized campsites, because I was being followed in an RV. I was supposed to cycle, run, stop, sleep and then get up exactly where I'd left off and keep going throughout the whole thing.

So I said, okay, we're going to drop a pin where we finished today. We're going to drive ahead to where we were supposed to sleep. Tomorrow morning, we're going to drive back to the pin and start from where we left off, and you're just going to work for 12 hours. I had a really big cushion at the end of the eight days. I think it was maybe even nine days extra before I was leaving the country. So I said, we're going to work for 12 hours and rest for 12 hours. However long this takes me to finish, I'm going to do my best, and I'm going to be honest.

There are people watching who are tracking me on Strava. I'm not going to be dishonest with my miles. That's something I would never be able to live with. And I'm just going to do it. If I don't finish, I don't finish. And I'll know that I put my best foot forward.

Nikkiey: Hey, hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you're enjoying it, and there's so much more to come. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons, and it would also help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too. Thanks so much, guys. Let's get back to the show.

Hannah: And just switching that mentality, which is one of the biggest lessons I've taken away: I accomplished every single distance I said I was going to do. I had to add on one day. What do you do? It's not a big deal. And I was able to do it. It was just removing the pressure, being able to handle change and pivot on the spot, and just flow with it. Because if you keep working against it, the universe or whatever is going to work against you.

And I kept recognizing that. All these lessons were slapping me in the face. It was so hard, but I'm so glad it happened on day one. Because if it hadn't, and I didn't go through all of that, maybe I wouldn't have ever finished, or maybe I would have quit, because the pressure I put on myself was so immense. Just giving myself time, not distance. Twelve hours, do what you can. Remove the pressure, and I was able to perform.

Nikkiey: That's amazing. That's a huge testament to your facing adversity on day one, because so many people would freaking give up. Oh, I failed. I'm not going to be able to complete it. But you're like, nah, man. You're surrendering.

Hannah: Totally. And it's like, you haven't failed. You just have to change your approach. Come on, we've got this. At that point, I think I had 15 days or something to really do it. So do what you can. That's all you can do, right? There's no more to it. And it's wild how much I enjoyed it. Because I enjoyed it, I was in a better state of mind, and because I was in a better state of mind, I could go for longer.

It changed everything. It changed every decision and the way I operate through life. I took that with me from this crazy experience. It was wild. So many lessons.

Nikkiey: Yeah, that's awesome. That's so good to speak to. I know some of you will be able to resonate, because it's not failing. Like you said, it's just re-approaching your situation and looking at it from a different light, and not being obsessed with, I need to finish this on this day at this time. You can do the work in between. Like you said, six years ago, ego and change were not something that came easily, but you surrendered to it. And that's what let you have fun, enjoy it and accomplish it the way you did.

Hannah: Totally. It's crazy.

Nikkiey: And that's just wild. Mad respect for not looking at the terrain.

Hannah: That was dumb. That was honestly dumb, but probably one of the best dumb decisions I've ever made.

Nikkiey: Honestly. Because it's so true. You can be so optimistic going forward on your journey, and that keeps you in a positive state, rather than letting fear and doubt, like, oh, can I do this, weigh you down. Then you question all the things you're doing. It's honestly respectable.

Hannah: Totally. And that's a big lesson I've taken forward as well. Now, any time I do something that's hard, I don't research. I don't want to hear anyone else's experience. Even with this journey through motherhood right now, at first people were sharing their labor stories with me.

And I was like, you know what? Enough. I don't want to hear about anyone else's experience, because then my experience becomes part of their experience. I want to experience this on my own. I have to do it regardless. So I don't want to know about what happened to someone when that might not happen to me. I tune it all out. Same thing with the darkness retreat. I did not want to hear from friends who had done it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to watch any documentaries. I just wanted to show up, make it my own experience and deal with it however I knew best, rather than, oh, when this person was at this stage in their journey, they dealt with this or felt this. Then I'd be looking for that to happen, right? And it would take away from my own actual experience. So it's a lesson I've learned from a really dumb decision. It actually taught me so much good.

Nikkiey: Fucking love that. That's so good. Everybody has their own experience through everything they go through in life. Even if it's the same thing, like your motherhood situation, this person is going to have a different experience than you. So why take on anything that may have been scary or doubtful to them, or even the positive? Experience it the way you want to fucking experience it.

Hannah: Yeah. Otherwise, because we really don't know, it's unknown, all we're left with is the space to make up stories of what if, or this could happen. We don't know. So get to the situation and let it unfold before you decide what it's going to be. That's something we should all do. We want to be prepared, but being overly prepared can sometimes take away from what could happen for us.

Nikkiey: Yeah. I love that. That's so good. So looking back at that entire journey, cycling and running through Iceland in nine days, what were some of the most rewarding aspects, both physically and mentally?

Hannah: Physically, I'm just so absolutely in awe of the human body. I was putting my body to the test. If you focus on pain, the pain will get worse. If you give yourself reverse psychology, it will respond. It became a running joke. It was not funny at the time, but my husband, Jeff and Courtney, who was Jess's niece, all finished the last five miles with me.

And they hated me. They absolutely hated me, because I had been an absolute psycho for nine days, telling myself these stories and talking to myself out loud while I was doing it. So as we're going through it at the end, everyone's tired. Everyone is beat. Even though they hadn't been putting the miles in on the bike or on the road, they were all following me in an RV. Everyone was cramped up, uncomfortable and miserable. Driving at 12 miles an hour for fucking nine days would make anyone go insane.

And I kept saying, it's all in your mind. It's all in your mind. Over and over again, on repeat. And these guys were like, this isn't in my mind. This is my fucking body, and it hurts. And that was big for me. If we constantly feed the enemy, or constantly feed the pain or the fear or whatever, then that's what will unfold. It's not healthy, and it's not something we should do all the time. But when our back's up against the wall, try to switch the narrative in your mind and your body will respond.

If you're running a marathon, if you're finishing a workout, and you constantly repeat in your head, this sucks, I can't do this, then you won't. But if you're your own best cheerleader and you work on telling yourself what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, your body will respond. It's absolutely insane. I kept putting it to the test. And as a coach, I say that all the time: focus on the positive, get the negative out of your mind. Now I actually got to put that theory to the test on my own body and be the practitioner, and then come home and not take excuses from anyone, because I've done it. I know it's possible. So cut the shit. We can do it. You just have to believe in yourself and stay true to this different mentality. It's incredible how the body responds to your mind. That was the biggest thing physically.

Mentally, day four of the whole mission was life-changing. It was a really hard day, but it changed me for the good mentally. I think I said this on another stage once.

There's a quote by Kobe Bryant that says, "I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success." And from day one to day four, I was that person, because I was so tired. I was so vulnerable. I was so broken emotionally and so broken physically. Any time something went wrong, or even if it didn't go wrong and I could just see there was an opportunity for something to go wrong, the first thing I would do was look outside and say, whose fault is it?

It's someone's fault, right? The examples from this mission may or may not be relatable, but this is how I'll explain it. I had a bike pump, which was pretty important considering I needed to cycle the whole way. And we had an RV with doors on the outside, which is where all our gear was. Someone on the team forgot to lock the door. So as we were riding along, we got to one of my rest stops, and they didn't actually tell me, which is great, but I found out somehow way after the fact that the bike pump had fallen out. We didn't have a bike pump.

And although nothing had happened to my tire and there was nothing wrong yet, the possibility that something could go wrong and we were unprepared rocked me. And I was fucking livid. I was really rude. I said something out loud, and I think it was probably to my husband. The poor guy took the lash of everything. I'm like, you fucking lost my bike pump. What's wrong with you? Just trying to find someone outside of myself to blame. And then the same day, I had it set up.

I had multiple devices on my bike, including my phone, which had a map on it with the route I was following. My team was behind me in an RV. I was the leader. It's important to say that. I was at the front of the ship. People were following me. I had the fucking map on my phone, with a blue dot and a line I was following. I was out of it, and I'm going and going. And some of Iceland's roads are unpaved. The majority of the time I was on a road bike, and if I hit a part of the road that was unpaved, I would get off and get onto a mountain bike or a gravel bike.

And that bike was not great. You couldn't cover much ground. It was really hard to cycle on gravel and rubble and rocks. And it just so happened to be there that we went 12 miles in the wrong direction. I went off the map for 12 miles, and it took me hours to figure it out. I looked down and finally figured out that we'd gone 12 miles in the wrong direction. It was the lowest and most embarrassing part of the entire experience.

Thank God no cameras were around. Though I always wish they had been, so I could watch my own behavior and get an even harder lesson, like, you fucking idiot. I lost my shit. I lost my shit on the entire team. Up until that point, I was really only giving my husband shit when no one was around, or giving someone a side eye, or being sassy, because I was just so broken. And I blamed them. I was like, you had one fucking job. How could you let me do this? Do you understand what this just did to me? Twelve miles on gravel road, blah, blah, blah.

I absolutely lost it. And of course, once we fixed the route, I think we drove back 12 miles to where we should have been. Even though I could have continued, it would have cut off some distance, and I was so anal about staying true and honest to the route. So we went back the 12 miles and started again. Essentially, we added 12 miles to the journey. But I had a lot of time on my own that day after the mistake happened. And like I said, I was in a really different state of mind at that point.

A lot of the time I didn't listen to anything. It was pure silence, soaking in and processing what had happened with Jess and going through it. And I had so much time on my own to think about my actions. And I was so embarrassed. I remember having this moment of, how dare you blame them? You are the leader of the ship. You had the map on your phone. You organized these routes. These people are here for you. They took time out of their lives to support your mission.

And that's when everything started to switch. I realized we're always waiting for someone to come and save us. We're always waiting for someone to fix our problems. We are responsible for our own lives. We hear it all the time: no one's coming to save you. No one's coming to get you. So take ownership of your life. Take ownership of your mistakes. And don't make your shit other people's problem. It just changed everything. I remember recording myself as I was going crazy, which one day I'll find and put out on the internet.

It was this massive aha moment. Be your own coach. As much as we look for guidance and leadership, which is great, they're not going to fix your problems. They're not going to fix your state of mind. They're not going to fix your life or make magic things happen for you. We're all responsible for our own lives and for what happens. Take full ownership of that and embody the words: don't blame others for your lack of success. And when I heard that quote many years later, I thought, that's it. If I could sum up what happened on day four in one quote, it would be Kobe Bryant's quote.

I don't have anything in common with people who blame others for their lack of success. And that's the difference between a victim and a leader, right? It's easy to fall into that victim mindset. From day one through four, I was the victim. How dare I? This was my choice. So it was finding these really great lessons in this really hard experience, ones I've taken with me and that I think are really important to share, because there are a lot of lessons you learn when you put yourself through the ringer, and they're relatable.

It's not necessarily the same problem as anyone else's. We're all going through our own experience, but it's something we can relate to in some way, which is super powerful. I take it with me into mentorship. I take it into coaching now, into how I run my family, how I run my businesses, how I do everything. All these lessons were learned in these really hard tasks that I set for myself.

Nikkiey: Yeah. That's so powerful, especially the victim mentality. To make it relatable to people on their fitness journey, there's no possible way you can get to where you want to be, the person you want to become, with the body you want or even the confidence you want within yourself, if you're living in a victim mentality and searching and blaming externally for all of your problems. If you take an internal look, these are all things you have control over, right? The things you eat on a daily basis, the way you work out, the way you talk to yourself, the narrative and stories inside your head, the limiting beliefs you have.

You're the one with the ability to turn it around. And I respect that so much, that you just shared that, because it's going to resonate so hard.

Hannah: Yeah. And it's probably the scariest truth, but the most important one, that it's all up to us. That's a big responsibility, and sometimes not one people are willing to admit. But everything is ultimately up to us. It's all our choice: our perspective, our decisions. Everything is our choice.

Nikkiey: It's fire. That was amazing.

I feel like I was there with you. I was replaying your journey in my brain. Obviously I wasn't there doing that experience with you, but it was so vivid the way you explained everything from day one to day four, and thinking about the terrain and imagining Iceland and what it looked like. So thank you for sharing that, and for expressing all the lessons you learned along the way, because it can resonate so much with overcoming adversity, and with not looking at failure as an end.

It's like, nah, let's surrender. Let's not be so attached to our end goals, but think about how we can make it enjoyable along the way. So thank you. I appreciate that. Now, the thing I put a pin in at the start, I want to spend some time on for the remainder of the pod, and that's your pregnancy. I know it's a switch from that to this, but I know it's going to resonate so hard with people listening, because there are a lot of similar situations to what you shared, what you experienced through training and actually doing that feat.

And now you're going to take the lessons learned and what you've accomplished into your family and your pregnancy and all of the things. You said you're six months pregnant now. I know the audience would love to know how you do it. First of all, you guys, I watch and follow Hannah on Instagram, and we'll put all your links below so they can follow you. But I'm like, damn, she has that belly and she's doing kettlebell swings. If she can do it, anybody can do it.

How do you manage to stay motivated while you're pregnant?

Hannah: That's such a good question. We had been trying to have a baby for a while. For a year or so, we didn't have any luck, and then it happened. Right before it happened, on the day we actually found out we were pregnant, we went on a walk and said, maybe we should go to the fertility doctor just to make sure everything's okay, but pick up and try again in a couple of years. Maybe it's just not our time right now.

So we had kind of checked out of the idea, the excitement and anticipation of getting pregnant. And then on that day it was like, oh fuck, we are pregnant. Here it is. This is everything we've been wanting, but my mind was in a different space. We had just bought a house. We had just had our house finished and renovated. We had just moved to this new place. We were like, let's enjoy our city for a couple more years, build a community and do all these things. So it was a hard thing to adapt to at first.

And I will say, at the beginning I felt guilty talking about how smooth my pregnancy has been so far, but now I don't. I feel like it's something I'm really proud of. I don't have the science to prove it, but I think living and embodying a truly healthy and fit lifestyle is the reason it has been so smooth. I haven't had one day of nausea since this all began, which is conflicting, because I also know solid professional athletes who were nauseous for six months of their pregnancy. So I don't know, but I've been blessed with no morning sickness.

I haven't had any ligament pain. I haven't had any mobility issues. My body feels normal. Up until about two weeks ago, I didn't even feel like I was pregnant. The way I felt pregnant wasn't necessarily on a physical level. It was more of a mental battle and, honestly, energy. My energy level was lower, but I feel like my typical or normal energy levels are far above average. I'm kind of ADD.

I'm just going all the time and channel it into the life we live. But I was affected by energy for, I would say, not the first trimester, which is interesting. In the first trimester, I was more fearful of doing too much, because I didn't know what I should be doing, and I didn't want to be responsible for anything that could go wrong. It's such new territory. So I immediately got myself into a prenatal certification with Girls Gone Strong, which was super important for me, to learn what the professionals are saying.

It's a certification developed by Molly Galbraith. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. She's fantastic. She teamed up with all these doctors, all these OB-GYNs and professionals in the field to create a modern-day certification for women who are athletes. So I was like, okay, I can be doing all these things, but I need to understand what my personal limits are. On a rate of perceived effort scale of one to 10, where should I be pushing to?

I'm super in tune with my body. I know what an RPE of one is versus a five versus an eight and a 10. So I stayed within my own personal boundaries, which I think is really important to share for everyone listening. I also figured out what my max heart rate is. As an elite athlete, I don't go beyond 90%, but 90% may not be right for everyone, because of my past experience. I've been doing this for 10 years, and I've been training as an elite athlete for all 10 years.

I haven't taken any time off. So my body and my output are used to something maybe a lot different from most people. So I've been able to continue what I'm doing. And the biggest lesson I've had is that you have to be in tune with your body and listen to it, because our bodies are insanely intelligent. We have these systems no one tells you about before motherhood, where your body will tell you if you should or should not be doing something. I remember at the beginning going to a CrossFit class, where you're surrounded by people, the energy's high and your ego just wants to fucking go.

I'm so competitive. I just want to win. One day we had three rounds or something. In the first round, I was like, I'm going to take it easy. I should probably not go so hard and slow down. You don't need to finish first, just do your best. Then round two came around, and I was like, that was way too easy. I have way more in the tank. And then I tried, and it was like slow motion, like running through molasses. My legs wouldn't move any faster. But again, that's a system happening naturally and automatically inside my body that's not letting me go to those places. It's stopping me.

And then about two weeks ago is when I started to feel, and had enough awareness to know, the coning of the core, when your abdominal muscles come to this point, that's not right. That's not normal. But that hadn't happened until two weeks ago. And then it's having the knowledge and know-how of what works and what doesn't. So push-ups are out of the game for me right now. Hanging from a rig is out of the game. Heavy lat pulldowns are out of the game. And being okay with that, and not saying, well, then I have to stop.

But instead, what can I do? What can I substitute for these things? What does that mean for me? I think it's super important that we're all moving our bodies throughout pregnancy, but relative to the pre-existing output we had before. So my motivation is never really gone. On days I'm tired, working out is just part of my day. Just like other people make their bed or brush their teeth or eat lunch, working out is part of my schedule every day. So some days it was really low intensity, and I'd be okay with that.

Some days I felt like I was on fire, and I fucking went there. I did what I could. Every day is a new day, and it's dropping the expectations for myself and just showing up, knowing that new expectations are created every single day. But the hardest thing for me has been the mentality of it. You're the leader of your ship. You've created an empire, all these businesses. I've taken so much pride in being this female CEO who has the ability to create anything, generate millions of dollars and affect millions of people's lives.

And all this narrative I was so proud of up until getting pregnant, I was like, oh shit, I don't want to be any of that for just a minute. I don't want to be a CEO when my baby is born. I don't want this responsibility on the days I feel like not showing up on social media and not showing up in certain parts of my business and my team. That's the part that's been really hard for me to adjust to, realizing that I have to accept the effects happening internally within my body, the same way I need to understand that it's likely going to affect my business too.

I'm trying my best to set up the systems ahead of time to give myself the space to be just a mom for a minute after this baby's born, and then of course adapt to trying to do both. But I don't want to look back at this stage in my journey and regret putting my business or my team before my child. That's something I've been really battling with: who am I if I'm not the CEO? This identity crisis has been happening.

My performance isn't where it used to be. My strength isn't where it used to be. My body certainly is not what it used to be. And it's letting go of all these things I've allowed my mind to tell me are who I am. Well, no, that's not who I am. That's just a part of me. Recalibrating my identity has been the hardest part of this experience.

Nikkiey: Sure. That's usually always the hardest thing to do, creating a new identity or evolving your identity. It's your next chapter. So cool.

Hannah: Yeah.

Nikkiey: And so cool because you've created all these cool things, but now you're creating life.

Hannah: I know. It's wild.

Nikkiey: It's badass. It's so cool that you've created all these things. And there's a lot to unpack there. I love that you said it's a true testament that moving your body and being so physically active has made pregnancy an easier journey for you.

I think that's so important to highlight, because everything with health and fitness, doing all the right things, creates a great environment internally for all the good things in life. Not just for creating life, but for your own life. And there was another thing you said too.

Hannah: Just to feed into that point you bring up, I think the reason I've been so successful on social media over the years is that I've shared the truth of my life and haven't tried to sugarcoat it.

So that means now I show up in this space doing what I'm doing, but it's been insane to me. I've lost so many followers, which is okay, because I think a lot of people who followed me didn't follow me for motherhood. A lot of people were following the Hannah Eden who showed up through Iceland and went fucking monster mode, and that's okay. Those aren't things we can relate to at this stage. But I caught myself questioning, should I post this? Is this what my audience wants to see? And then I had this rude wake-up call: that's not how you got here.

You never curated yourself to fit inside someone else's box. You just did what was true and aligned to your life. And right now I'm pregnant. I'm going through this. So this is something I need to stay true to. And if that means there's loss on some sides, that's great. But the engagement's gone up, because the people who do relate are far more interested in this truth and this reality and this experience. But I've had so much hate, dude. I've had so much mean stuff, and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't affect me. What are you doing to your child? Because I'm still doing box jumps or intense exercise. You're going to kill your baby. Some freaking brutal stuff.

And it's like, times have changed. I'm a fitness professional. I would never do anything to put my unborn child's life at risk. And I'm trying to navigate that whole world and grow that thick skin again, because I've never had that much hate on social media. It's wild to hear and see what some people will say. It's kind of crazy.

Nikkiey: Keyboard ninjas, man.

Hannah: It is. It sucks.

Nikkiey: But at the same time, you know yourself so well, and you're very grounded in understanding who you are. And I think what you just shared there is really inspiring. I've felt that way too. I have some freaking trolls saying I'm on steroids. I'm like, wow. Such hardcore shit comes down the pipeline, or that I look like a man. I'm like, okay, cool. What are you struggling with?

Hannah: Right, right, right. And honestly, I've done a lot of inner work on that whole concept. I think there's a lot of projection of fear about what someone is unable to do themselves, so they doubt that you'd ever be able to do it either. So there must be steroids involved. That's not possible. No, no, no. It is. It just takes a lot of really hard work and discipline that maybe you're not willing to put in to get your body or your results there.

So I'm trying to switch that and have empathy rather than anger. Because at first you're like, fuck you, how dare you come at me like that? But maybe, in my case, someone has lost a baby, and that's something I'll never understand, and that's why this anger is coming out. Or maybe they let themselves go during their pregnancy, gained 50 pounds, got gestational diabetes, regret that and resent anyone who didn't. Who knows? We don't know what that person's going through. So rather than shutting down or becoming hard towards it, I'm trying to soften and understand that everyone is going through their own experience.

Nikkiey: And man, that is a higher you. That's how everybody should be and operate from, but it's hard. I get that too.

Hannah: Yeah, it's so hard.

Nikkiey: But I love all the things you said about taking your pregnancy as it is, for your experience and your body. Even though you share all the things you're doing, you're an amazing person to go to the gym and move and work out every single day, and that may not be somebody else's experience. And I love that you've evolved from this hardcore person going through Iceland, and now you're attracting people who can meet you where you are in your life. Now you can empower them and share your journey with them, as authentically as you are.

It feels so good to be able to do that, and I love watching you as a mom. It's so cool to see all the things you're doing. But let the people listening right now know, because we just covered so much good stuff, so many insights, so many lessons, so much inspiration you shared today, Hannah. Where can they find you?

Hannah: Oh, thank you. My main social media platform is @hannaheden_fitness on Instagram, but everything I do is in one place on my website, which is hannahedenfitness.com.

Nikkiey: Cool. And I'll leave all that stuff below. This has been so amazing. Thank you so much for being here.

Hannah: Thank you so much for bringing me on and asking me these great questions. It's been awesome to talk to you.

Nikkiey: Yeah. I'm excited for the audience to know a little bit more about you. I'm sure you already have a big following, but you can always impact somebody who's going to listen to this, and maybe five or 10 minutes of whatever you shared makes them go, damn, and it just impacts their world. So it's been a pleasure. Thank you for being here, Hannah. I appreciate it.

Hannah: I appreciate you too.

Nikkiey: All right. See you, everybody.

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