How Fitness Supports Mental Health: Karena Dawn's Story

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Karena: Don't talk about mental health. That's a no-no. You work out and you eat right. But then it was boiling up inside of me, like there's something more to what true wellness is.

Nikkiey: What is going on, everybody? Welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. In today's episode, I am super, super excited. You probably know her as the powerhouse behind Tone It Up, where she's been changing the game of fitness and wellness and bringing women together like no one else. But that's not all. She's also diving deep into mental health on her podcast, The Big Silence, opening up very important conversations and bringing a whole lot of heart to topics that really freaking matter.

And today she's here to share her journey, drop some wisdom on staying fit and mentally strong, and chat about making a real impact. So I'm super excited. Thank you.

Karena: Thanks for having me.

Nikkiey: So can you share a bit about your personal story with mental health and how it influenced you to start the amazing podcast that you have, The Big Silence?

Karena: Yeah. How much time do we have for that? In short, I grew up in the 80s and 90s with a mother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

And back then, nobody was talking about mental health. And so I kind of became this lost person. My mom was in and out of the house, and multiple times a missing person. A lot of darkness was going on inside the house. The whole story is in my memoir, The Big Silence, too. But really, growing up with a parent who has a mental illness can be really, really stressful.

I think back to myself as a teenager feeling very lost and not understanding. When a doctor says your mom has schizophrenia, you're like, how do you spell that? What does that mean? So back then, I literally went to the library and rented a book to educate myself, because there was no education around mental health or mental illness at that time. And through all of this stuff that was going on in the shadows of our house, I went into my own teenage, I would say, situational depression.

I hid from friends. I then found a new group of friends. They were the party friends, and we were all escaping, which, thinking back now, I'm like, what was going on in their homes? Because we were all doing the same things, and we were escaping from something. And quite likely, with the statistics of mental illness, a lot of that could have been in their homes as well. And I am also a teenage suicide survivor, so I'm very happy to be here and have this platform to raise a voice, end the stigma around mental illness, and make the conversation around mental health absolutely normal.

Because I think with every conversation, one conversation can save a life.

Nikkiey: Wow. Thank you for sharing that and being that vulnerable here with us on this podcast. In that experience, what are some effective ways that you have combated that stigma you're talking about surrounding mental health, and encouraged more people to open up in conversations about it?

Karena: Well, I would say for a decade, I kept quiet and silent. I was afraid of letting my friends know what was going on in my home. And then when I was in my early 20s, I had this aha moment. I was not doing well physically. My body was in rashes from stress. At this point I had moved from Indiana to California. I was partying way too much, still escaping.

And then I had this moment of, Karena, this was not meant to be your life. You are not your mother. You will not become mentally ill. I knew that I had a good head on my shoulders, even though I was lost. And I said, we've got to make a change. So I thought back to when I was happiest, before the family fell apart. And I remembered running a half marathon when I was 12 years old.

And I was like, that was my happiest. I'm going to sign up for a race. So I actually ended up signing up for a triathlon. I traded Hollywood club nights for sunrise bike rides and runs and ocean swims. And that was my therapy. Along with actual therapy and reading every self-help book. But it was physical fitness that pulled me out of my darkness.

It's those long runs where the endorphins are going and you're moving your body, and I'm like, wow, this feels so good. It brought so much joy. So I always say fitness saved me. And when you sign up for a race like a triathlon and you train for it, it makes you do the things you don't want to do. I hated jumping in the cold water and swimming. Miserable, right?

Nikkiey: Yeah.

Karena: It's that when you sign up for something and you commit to it and then you cross that finish line. For myself, I never followed through because I never believed in myself. And when I finished that first race, I fell on my knees and I cried, because I was like, you can do anything.

Nikkiey: Wow. There are probably so many women listening right now who can resonate with that. When they sign up for something or sign up for a program and they don't see it through, they probably have tons and tons of thoughts going through their head: I'm a failure, it's me, I can't follow through on the things I sign up for. However, then there are the ones where it finally clicks. The light bulb goes off in their head. They're like, okay, I signed up for this thing. I'm invested in it. I'm going to show up for myself. And they do. And then they start getting the results, and then they cross the finish line, and a total transformation has happened.

Karena: Yeah. And I don't want to put pressure on someone who says, okay, my body is telling me I can't finish that race. I actually just had a podcast with someone who was just at the Mount Everest climb. Do you know what I'm talking about? They go up and down and up and down for like 36 hours.

Nikkiey: Oh no, I've never heard of that before. I've heard of climbing Mount Everest, and I've heard there are bases that you can go to and try and conquer.

Karena: Jesse Itzler does it and hosts it or something.

Nikkiey: Oh, okay. Yeah, I know Jesse.

Karena: Yeah. There was someone in my studio the other day, and she's like, I signed up for it, I didn't finish it, but I listened to my body and I'm still proud of myself. But she's going again this year. She's like, this year I'm going to finish it. So that's another thing too, just not giving up.

Nikkiey: Yeah, a hundred percent. You mentioned reading some self-help books along your journey. What are some books that you love, the ones you couldn't stop reading, and when you put them down you were like, oh man?

Karena: Yeah. So this is so long ago, but sometimes I still read them over and over again. The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.

Nikkiey: Yeah.

Karena: And A New Earth. Clearly I love his work. Is it the seven... what is it? The seven something habits of highly successful people?

Nikkiey: Yeah, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Karena: Yeah. OG, old self-help books.

Nikkiey: OG. Oh, love it. And how about Norman Vincent Peale with The Power of Positive Thinking?

Karena: Yeah. Oh, so good. With Eckhart Tolle, you just put that on and you're immediately there. And then the dings that go off, it just brings you back.

Nikkiey: So, okay. Let's talk about your journey. Did you have support systems as you were going through this? In your perspective, how important is having a support system? And what advice would you give someone who's seeking support?

Karena: I did not have a support system as I was going through it. Again, because of the stigma around my mother being mentally ill, and I was afraid of what people would think of me.

And so I was on this journey alone. I used to be very shy. I was always shy as a kid, too. And growing up, I think because I was kind of hunched down and just hid because of the stigma around it, I didn't really talk much. And now I talk a lot. I did not have anyone. But I think it's so important now, and that's one of the reasons I started The Big Silence, because it's so important.

If I had a support system, if someone had talked to me about what this is, and said me too... And the women and men, but mostly women, that I've met through opening up my story have come and said, wow, I thought I was alone. And then they open up their stories, and it becomes this support group. And for anyone who feels alone, I just want to throw this out there: NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, has support groups for family members, or peer-to-peer for someone struggling with a mental health disorder themselves.

So I joined a support group, and that was one of the first times that I felt like I wasn't alone.

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So, like you were mentioning before, you kept the silence. At the beginning, before you sought out a support system, you were keeping it all in, which a lot of people do before they feel comfortable enough to share or speak up or be vulnerable. What advice would you give to someone who wants to open up about something they're struggling with but doesn't even know where to start?

Karena: Yeah. And when I say I kept silent about it, it was even beyond when I founded Tone It Up, in the beginning, because there was such shame around it.

But I would say the number one place to start, if you feel the stigma, is that there are text lines that are completely anonymous. You can text HELLO to 741741. It's a completely anonymous, 24/7 crisis text line, and you can get connected with a counselor. On our website, The Big Silence, we have a resources page. And we also have a program called Therapy for All, where we cover your fees for therapy through a therapy scholarship.

I wanted to start that because I've realized, in the conversations I've had with people, that therapy is a lot of times expensive, and it's so important and imperative. I think everyone...

Nikkiey: I go to therapy. I love it.

Karena: Right. Yeah. And health insurance often doesn't cover it. So we have a network of therapists. And how long have you been going to therapy?

Nikkiey: I just started this year.

Karena: Oh, congrats.

Nikkiey: Thanks. But as a kid, I had to go because my parents divorced and everything like that. So I went when I was younger, but I reinvested in it this year for myself.

Karena: Well, I always say it's like going to the gym. I'm a trainer, but I do have a personal trainer that I work out with a couple of times a month, just to mix it up. It's a gym for your brain. You've got to do it.

Nikkiey: It's just so nice. Sometimes I go and I'm like, oh, what am I going to talk about today? But then you just start talking. And it's so nice to talk out loud about things you didn't even know were there.

I love therapists and their questions. They're not giving you advice, they're guiding you to your own conclusion and solution. And I start pondering on that, and I'm like, I didn't even think about that. Just from me talking out loud, it's so helpful.

Karena: Yeah. It's nice, because there are only so many times my husband needs to hear about what I want to talk about.

Nikkiey: Right. Yeah, totally. It's nice to have an unbiased opinion, you know?

Karena: Yeah, exactly. Because sometimes when I talk to my husband, I'm like, I want to get this out, but I don't want you to give me your feedback.

Nikkiey: Yeah, exactly.

Karena: He's like, okay.

Nikkiey: Yes. I love that. Facts. You mentioned the shame. You've said that a couple of times, and I'm like, why is there so much shame around mental health?

Karena: It's intergenerational trauma. With each generation, we're finally getting there.

I think about kids and teenagers, and they're actually talking about mental health normally now. Whereas our parents just don't talk about it. My dad's a therapist, but he doesn't go to therapy. I'm like, Dad, you need to go to therapy. It's the same thing with trainers and therapists. All of my therapists go to therapists. But I think it's the generations of the past. It's how we were all trained, and we're finally getting to the point of opening up the conversation, and there's a lot of work to be done.

I can't say that it's getting better, but I hope so. Even in my work, if I can just save a few lives and open up conversations and make people feel good and not weird and just normalize everything, I think my job is done.

Nikkiey: Yeah. Having that safe space for them to share. What are some things that make it so hard to open up the conversation?

Karena: I mean, the thoughts about how you're going to be perceived. I'll use my mother as an example. She passed away in September 2021, and for the last five years of her life, my husband and I were her caretakers. She knew I was on the board of directors, now the board of advisors, for NAMI. I would go into high schools, junior highs and colleges and speak about mental health. And I told my mom that I was doing this work because I didn't want young kids to be in the same situation that I was in.

And she got upset at me. In some of these courses, there's an adult who has been diagnosed with a mental illness, and they speak and tell their stories. And I was like, Mom, what if you shared your story and you could really help someone? And she got upset at me. She said, I can't believe you're doing this work. If anybody knows, they're going to think that I'm a bad person. And I said, Mom, no, but that's the stigma.

My mom didn't want to take medication at that point in her life because of the stigma. Everything was the stigma, the stigma. And mental illness is a disease of the brain. So I was like, Mom, it's not your fault. It's just the fear of judgment, and that's what society is like: oh, that person has schizophrenia, so they're dangerous. My mom was not a dangerous person. We won't go into too much of that.

There are a lot of different types of mental illness, but I will say I just kept forging forward with my mission. And I was with her in hospice for the last three days she was here. On day two, she finally said to me, because I'd told her about The Big Silence and how I was starting this foundation in her honor, she said, it's not just my physical health, it's my mental health. And thank you.

Nikkiey: Oh my God. Full body chills. Wow. How did that make you feel?

Karena: Happy. Yeah. Peace.

Nikkiey: Oh my gosh. Wow. For her to come to that herself and share that with you before she passed.

Karena: Yeah. But what if she had done that years ago?

What if she had said, I want to figure out what medication I need, I want to figure out how I can truly live my life? But instead she held herself back because of the stigma. And it's not fair.

Nikkiey: Yeah. It's not fair. And there are a lot of people struggling out there, which is why your work is so incredible, what you're doing with the podcast and all that you have done so far. Like you said, you can change one person's life, and you're changing many. You're changing tons. So keep at it.

It's amazing. You already kind of touched on this, but maybe you can shed a little more light if you missed any. What are some resources and tools that people can use to improve their mental health?

Hey, just want to drop a huge appreciation to you guys listening to the show. It means a lot. I hope you're enjoying it, and there's so much more to come. If you are enjoying it, hit the subscribe button. I'd appreciate that tons. And it would also help this podcast reach others who need to hear these messages too.

Karena: Well, there are the basic things that we all need in life. That's water.

Nikkiey: Yeah. And second, listen to your podcast, by the way.

Karena: No, but the main things: dehydration and how it affects your brain is so important. Your gut health is important, because those two systems work together. Moving your body, exercising. Oftentimes when someone is depressed, and I understand if you're clinically depressed it's hard to get out of bed, but if you've got a little oomph in you to do anything, just step outside and get some sunshine.

And if you're in Seattle and it's cloudy, just get outside and be in nature. Find something. Just being in nature. Meditation. It's crazy, meditation is so simple, and everyone thinks, I'm not doing it right. It's just breathing. It can be as simple as taking five deep breaths and sitting with your eyes closed, connecting with your body. And in the Tone It Up app, we have a ton of meditations that I wrote and did.

And then, yeah, listen to my podcast, The Big Silence.

Nikkiey: Totally.

Karena: There are great conversations there with doctors, psychologists, friends, well-known people who have a story or a journey and openly talk about all these different subjects that people are uncomfortable talking about. But we also try to have fun with it, too. And then at The Big Silence, there's a resource page.

Nikkiey: Yeah. You guys can listen to The Big Silence following this podcast.

So with your background in the fitness space as well, I feel like this is an added pillar that's popping up more in the wellness space. Like we were talking about before we hopped on the recording, it's not just workouts and nutrition. It's the deeper aspect of getting the mindset on board with someone's journey. So how do you see mental health fitting into the broader wellness and fitness industry?

And second to that, are there any misconceptions that you would like to address on the podcast?

Karena: Misconceptions as in the fitness industry?

Nikkiey: Yeah.

Karena: Yeah. So mental health and fitness is becoming a larger conversation, probably because a lot of us are talking about it more. And I'll go back to founding Tone It Up.

I was like, don't talk about mental health. That's a no-no. You just work out and you eat right. But then it was boiling up inside of me, like there's something more to what true wellness is. And that's your mental health, too. So that's when I started bringing in meditation, and we went from there. I don't know if it's because we're getting older and we're more aware of why we really work out, because it's not necessarily the aesthetic, at least for myself and a lot of people I talk to who are the same age as me.

But if I don't go to the gym or go outside for a hike or do something, give me one day, I'm fine. Two, yes. Three, decline.

Nikkiey: 100%. I hear you loud and clear on that. I resonate hard.

Karena: I'm not getting out of bed.

Nikkiey: Dude, mood. My mood drastically shifts if I'm not active.

Karena: Yeah. And again, I don't know if it's our generation, because I don't know if the younger generation is still very aesthetic-focused or if they're learning. I don't know. Or maybe wellness and fitness overall is changing in terms of why you work out.

Nikkiey: Yeah. So actually, forget the misconceptions question. I want to piggyback off of that and go deeper, because we both resonate with it. I resonate hard with this: if I don't move my body, if I'm not outside, if I'm not in nature, if I'm not working out for three or four days... When I was sick with the flu, I was out for two weeks, and I was like, oh my God. By the end, not only did I miss human interaction, but I missed moving my body. How does physical fitness maintain or improve mental health?

Karena: I mean, it's all the happy hormones you get from it. And if you're working out, you're less likely to have an illness or something. You're taking care of your body. Because I think as we get older, we're like, oh my gosh, something can go wrong.

So as long as you take the best care you can of your body, I think that also reduces stress. And I actually want to ask you, because you were sick for two weeks and you weren't working out or having human interaction. I think it's an important thing, especially now with the flu going around. How did you ease back into that, since I would imagine you were kind of in this...

Nikkiey: Yeah, not going to lie.

I did keep up with getting 10,000 steps a day, so that helped. It was by myself, but I was still getting outside. But I love working out. I love the weights. I love getting in the gym. So easing back into that was a bit of a struggle, because I got to the gym and I was like, I can't go how I normally would, because I'm going to tear apart my body and then be out for five days afterwards, sore and not healed enough to lift.

So I got in and did a barbell workout with no weight on the barbell, and I still screwed up my hamstrings. I was so sore. My hamstrings were sore for the next three to four days, so obviously I couldn't touch lower body. I had to keep it all upper body, and my upper body can only take so much. So I still had to ease into it, and it was still frustrating, because I still kind of put myself out doing a little light barbell workout.

Also, within the first three minutes of working out, my heart rate jumped to 160. I was like, man, this sucks. But the human interaction: when I started to get around people again, it almost was too much. It was sensory overload in conversations. It took me a second to recalibrate how to have a conversation. And I found that I was a little more mentally exhausted after being around people.

Because I hadn't been used to that for two weeks, other than Zoom conversations, and human interaction is different.

Karena: No, I get that. I can easily just stay at my house.

Nikkiey: You're more of an introvert.

Karena: But then it feels good, too, for me. I went to the gym today, and you see everyone, you're like, hey, what's up? And I actually had a workout session with somebody, a meeting while working out.

So that's what it is.

Nikkiey: Nice. Yeah. It definitely took a minute to get back, I'm not going to lie. That was only last week, so I'm only coming into week two of it. But yeah, it's a shift. But okay, another question for you.

Karena: But that's okay, though. Don't put the pressure on yourself.

Nikkiey: Yeah. I'm getting better at doing that. Even nine years into my journey of working out and fitness and being in this lifestyle, you're still learning.

You're still trying to implement things that you preach to your crew on a regular basis. But yeah, a hundred percent. Question: what developments do you hope to see in the mental health space in the coming years?

Karena: The goal is to have fewer people suffering, lower the suicide rates, and make people feel safe about having the conversation and going to someone when they don't feel well.

Making people more joyful in life, happier. That's really it. Because think about it: one person is happier and more joyful, and then they have that effect on another person and another person. So our mental health can literally spread across the world, because we are energy. And when there are people with energy you're not vibing with, that's negative, it spreads onto other people. So it's really the goal of, number one, saving lives, bringing more joy into the world, and making the world a happier, healthier place.

Nikkiey: I love that. I listened to Deepak Chopra, I think I'm saying that right...

Karena: That's right.

Nikkiey: I can't remember exactly what he said, but basically he said humanity is going in the wrong direction. I'm probably going to butcher how he explained it. Actually, I am butchering how he explained it. But to what you just said, we've got to get everybody on board together, more light on this situation, and more positivity all around.

Karena: Yeah. When he talks about that, it's that even though humanity is more educated and we have more tools and we know what the tools are, humanity is not really getting it. It's moving really freaking slow. His goal is to have 1 billion people meditating, because meditation really calms your heart and your systems, and you're just more at peace.

So that's kind of his goal. It's a hard job, but the more people we have on board, at least we're trying.

Nikkiey: Heck yeah. Heck yeah. Well, that's all you can do, is try, and watch the positive impact happen. What do you have for people who may be listening right now who are struggling with their mental health in silence? What message do you have for those listeners?

Karena: That you can get out on the other side. I know from personal experience that these hardships can turn around. It's a lot of work. I know that sometimes it's more work to get to the other side than to stay where you are, but it's worth it on the other side. I know that as little Karena, as a teenager and in my early twenties, I didn't see happiness, joy, a future, or whether I would survive. And now I'm here and I'm so happy.

I'm so happy to experience life. And on top of that, if you're struggling, reach out to a friend. They're not going to judge you. Say, I need help, I'm really struggling. You should not suffer in silence. Don't be afraid. Go to the resources, call someone, just speak up. And by speaking up, you'll be a role model for someone else who needs to speak up.

Nikkiey: Yes. I love that. Again, full body chills. How about the reverse? If there's somebody listening who knows that someone is in silence right now, and they can feel it and want to help that person open up, how could they start supporting that conversation?

Karena: Right. So say you have a friend or a family member and you witness their habits changing. Maybe they're sleeping more, they're missing work, they're a little less social.

Not like us, where we're like, I want to stay home, I'm fine. But when you see habits change like that, just check in with no judgment, absolutely no judgment. Just, hey, how are you doing? And I always say, listen, because most of the time people want to be heard, and you don't have to give feedback. Just ask, how can I help? Okay, let's check out these resources.

You're not there to be a counselor to them. You're there to listen and make them feel safe. And with no stigma, because remember, we've got to get away from that stigma.

Nikkiey: 100%. I love what you said, how can I help. That's my motto. How can I help, or how can I support? Those are my two favorite things to ask. From your app and your podcast, I'm sure you've had tons and tons of conversations and guests, but what's one that sticks out the most? What was that conversation like, and did it change your perspective at all?

Karena: Oh, there are so many. Gosh. It's such an array of conversations. I've had friends on to share their stories. I've had friends on who lost a sibling to suicide and then thought about taking their own life, but they went through it.

There are doctors. There's one doctor I had on, I can't remember his name right this second, but he was talking about long COVID. And the statistic keeps sticking with me. He said that because of COVID, isolation became so big, and isolation is like smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It's worse for your health. And both of our jaws dropped.

If you're just listening on audio, our jaws just dropped. What? I was like, dang. But think about people who are just alone, and how your mental health affects your physical health. That stat really, really stuck out to me.

Nikkiey: Wow. So if you're listening and you know someone who really isolates themselves, reach out.

Karena: Yeah. How can I help? How can I support? No judgment. Hey, want to go for a walk? We are meant to be social creatures, to an extent.

Nikkiey: So am I missing anything that I didn't ask, that you want to share with the listeners about your work and what you do? Honestly, you're the first guest on The WarriorBabe Show that we've really dove into this with. So I appreciate everything you're sharing, but I don't want to miss anything.

Karena: No, I feel like in a short time we really talked about it. And again, the resources are out there. Listen to the pod, go to the site, take care of yourself, check in with a friend, check in with yourself, help us end the stigma, and join the mission of making the world a better place.

Nikkiey: Amazing, Karena. Thank you so much. As we wrap up today, you guys, what an insightful and amazing conversation. We dove in and got to it pretty quickly in just half an hour. I want to extend a huge thank you to you for joining us and sharing your journey, your wisdom, and the positive impact you're making with your work. For everyone listening, I'm going to put all your handles in the description below, but let them know: where can they find you and learn more about your work?

Karena: TheBigSilence.com. My Instagram handle is Karena Dawn, or the.big.silence.

Nikkiey: Amazing. Thank you, Karena, for being here. Thank you all for tuning in. And remember, you guys, it's okay to talk about your mental health. It's okay to talk about anything you're struggling with, seek support, and take the step towards a healthier, happier...

Karena: Healthier.

Nikkiey: Yes. Thank you for finishing my sentence. Thank you guys for listening, and thank you for being here. Appreciate you.

Real quick, the only ask I could ever have of you guys is to help spread the word so we can help more women lose body fat, build muscle, reach their goals and feel insanely confident. And the only way we can do that is if you rate, review and share this podcast. So the single thing I ask you to do is leave a review. It will take you 10 seconds, and it will mean the absolute world to me and may change the world of someone else. Thank you.