Self-Care for Women Over 40: Why Slowing Down Matters

Alexandrea: More people are realizing that we can't outsource our health to anybody. We really have to take it on as our own responsibility, along with the care and help of professionals that are really there to support your day-to-day life, so that you can feel good now and then feel good later in life. And you don't end up, hopefully, in the hospital like I did.

Nikkiey: What's going on, everybody? Hey, welcome back to The WarriorBabe Show. Today I am really excited because I am joined by a powerhouse entrepreneur, a certified health coach and a wellness advocate with over two decades of experience in building and scaling successful businesses. She is the founder of Alex... and I'm going to say it, it's Alexandrea, right? That's how you pronounce it. The most beautiful name that I've ever heard, by the way, the two combinations. She is the founder of Alexandrea's Pursuit, a wellness brand that focuses on simplifying holistic health.

She's also the creator of the Pursuit of Health documentary series, where she explores the intersection of nutrition, movement, mindfulness and overall well-being. As we were just chatting beforehand, she noted that we have a lot of similarities when it comes to the fitness space and a lot of viewpoints that align. So I'm really excited for her to be here, to share her story and just to be on the show. Alexandrea, welcome.

Alexandrea: Thank you so much for having me, Nikkiey. It's a pleasure to be here.

Nikkiey: I'm excited to dive in with you and hear everything about the career that you've built and your viewpoints on health and wellness. So let's dive into it. You've built your career around holistic health and self-care. What inspired you to take this path?

Alexandrea: Well, it's a little longer of an answer than...

Nikkiey: Go for it. That's why I love podcasting.

Alexandrea: Sure. I've always been curious about health since I was a child. Back before I decided to become a business major, I was a bio major because I thought I wanted to be a doctor. My father was a doctor, and he actually urged me not to go into medicine, because he knew that my goal with it was to help people stay healthy. And he said, well, don't be a doctor. It has nothing to do with health.

Nikkiey: Wow.

Alexandrea: Yeah. So I had a different perspective of the health care world from a really young age. Instead of following that path, I ended up being a business major and going the route of business. That ranges from commercial real estate out of college, then I worked for two high-powered CEOs in New York for a long time that taught me quite a bit. Then I opened my own hospitality company and scaled that. At one point we had six locations of hospitality concepts between two different states and over 50 employees.

During that time, I was trying to take care of myself, but I was also raising two young girls, who are now seven and 11.

Nikkiey: Hustling.

Alexandrea: You know, I got married. So a lot of the things I even knew about health, I just couldn't focus on as much as I wanted to. Then fast forward to a couple of years ago, when my body just... I couldn't ignore it anymore. Some of the issues I'd had with my gut that I really couldn't figure out for so long finally came to a head. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I knew something was wrong; we could never figure it out. At that point I decided it was really time to focus a hundred percent on this lifelong dream, which was to be more in the health and wellness space and to heal myself, and through that process, hopefully help others. So that's kind of a long answer.

Nikkiey: No, that was great. That was beautiful. I think it's so cool that our stories resonate, in terms of I was in nursing before I started WarriorBabe. And I agree with your dad's viewpoint. I wrote it down, that it has nothing to do with health. That blew my mind. Can you unpack that a little bit? You carried that from a very young age, but now that you've gone through your own health complications and you're working through it, how has your perspective on wellness evolved over time?

Alexandrea: Here's the thing. Most doctors get into it because they really do want to help people with whatever their specialty is. Unfortunately, the system that we're in makes it really hard for them to do that job. So thank God for incredible surgeons and for emergency rooms and the things that we really need that are acute and need attention immediately.

But for chronic illnesses, the system isn't set up to really help people thrive and to take care of themselves day to day. I ended up having such bad inflammation throughout my entire gut, not just my colon but my small intestines, that I had intussusception, which is really, really rare for somebody my age. I was 41 or 42 at the time. Thank God for the surgeon that quickly got in there. He had to remove 13 inches of my small intestine.

So my view is, thank God for modern medicine, but modern medicine isn't there to help us feel good every day. It's usually there to fix a problem when it's gotten to that point. And we all kind of know this now. More people are realizing that we can't outsource our health to anybody. We really have to take it on as our own responsibility, along with the care and help of professionals that are really there to support your day-to-day life, so that you can feel good now and then feel good later in life. And you don't end up, hopefully, in the hospital like I did.

Nikkiey: That's a great perspective. I appreciate that so much. What some of the doctors that we have do is so important, for immediate reactions. But I always viewed it in terms of, it's addressing a problem, but it's not fixing it. It's not getting to the root cause of the situation. It's almost masking the symptoms until you can get a little further with certain things.

I want to pivot to self-care. A lot of people think about it in terms of taking days off or booking spa treatments, but your social media, the things you talk about and what you stand behind take it way deeper than that. How do you define self-care in a way that supports long-term health?

Alexandrea: Like most things, for whatever reason, my personality likes to learn the hard way. My body had been telling me to slow down for a really long time, and I didn't listen because of my determination. You use this word discipline. I am a very disciplined person, type A, very goal oriented. So I didn't want to slow down, because to me that meant I was not achieving as much as I could.

But it turns out that, first of all, when I came out of the hospital, I didn't have a choice. I had to slow down, and I had to completely shift a lot of the habits that I had every day. So what does that look like for me? I used to think workouts had to be five days a week, super hard in the gym, all of that. Well, I couldn't even do that.

All I could do was walk. I think you talk about walking in one of your quick episodes. Walking is super powerful, and walking in and of itself is self-care. It's a habit that you can have now and for the rest of your life. It's good for your brain, it's good for your metabolic rate, everything. So part of what I do every day is, I've had to learn to slow down, literally slow down the pace of my life, and grow patience around that.

And then also being mindful of everything that I'm thinking and doing. Am I shoving food down my throat quickly, or am I eating slowly and mindfully? Am I paying attention to how my body responds after I eat certain things? It really is a mindfulness practice every single day. I find myself slipping sometimes, just like any human, and I have to bring it back to that. Every time I do, I find myself growing the foundation that I need to feel good every day.

People like to throw out blanket terms like mindfulness and mindful eating, and really all that means at the end of the day is paying attention. Paying attention to what you're eating, how you're moving, how you feel. That's all it means. A lot of us, myself included for 42 years of my life, think, oh, I'll deal with that later. I'm just going to go, go, go, and push, push, push. That was always what I did before.

Nikkiey: Sure.

Alexandrea: I physically can't do that now. But what I will say is that I have never felt stronger. I've never felt more healthy overall, in terms of my physical body and my mental stability. All of these things have shifted because I had to slow down. And to me, slowing down is self-care, in and of itself.

It doesn't mean rushing to a spa appointment so you can get there, relax for an hour and then rush home. People ask me a lot, what's your practice? Do you meditate 10 minutes a day? And I'm like, meditation is great, and all that's great. But honestly, if you just take the viewpoint of slowing down for your whole day, taking one thing at a time and paying more attention to your body, it becomes a layer and a habit, so you don't have to stop one thing to do another. Everything can be a form of self-care in a way.

Nikkiey: That's so powerful, that whole statement, because it's the flip of how people think they need to operate in society, where they need to go, go, go. The minute they wake up, they're stressed out because they have to get to work or they're late, and it trickles into the rest of their day. The way I'm hearing it from you is, be more in flow, move with more ease throughout your day. That's a pillar of self-care, and then walking and food and all these other aspects can layer into how you show up with a little more flow instead of rushing around.

Alexandrea: Yeah. It's a hard thing to do in this society, because we often rate ourselves on our productivity. But what's happening is autoimmune diseases are going up. Cancer rates are going up. Metabolic disorders are rising. Stress levels are through the roof. People are inflamed. Inflammation goes up with the stress that we have, in addition to all the other things that we're exposed to, the toxic foods and all of it. I could go down a rabbit hole. But we are inflamed all the time, and then we keep adding fuel to that with our lifestyle every day.

I see a lot of people, myself included, going through the world in a very inflamed state. When you're doing that, you're hyper reactionary. You are not operating in a place where you can allow your body to heal either. So if we're all just a little more in tune and take it down a notch... There are no solutions, there are only trade-offs, right? If you're pushing and pushing and your body is inflamed and you're not feeling well, eventually something's going to break. The check engine light's been on and you've ignored it. So you might borrow over here, but you're going to pay over here. That's another thing we have to remember when we're trying to get so much done.

Nikkiey: That brings me back to your point about your body telling you to slow down, and then your check engine light came on and you were diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I want to bring up something you mentioned on your Instagram, which I loved. It was a graphic about what you were talking about earlier, how to pay attention, be more mindful and be more in tune. You mentioned in the graphic that food is information. Can you unpack that? What does that mean to you, and how does it correlate to your journey, where you were listening and becoming more attuned to what you were eating on a daily basis?

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Alexandrea: I think we're all trained to look at food in a certain way. We look at it as fuel and calories, or fat, protein and carbohydrates. All of that is true, but there's more to it. When I'm eating something, I think about the texture of the food and the fiber in the food. What nourishing aspects does this food have for me? Is this a calming food? Is this an energetic food? I've actually had to really pay attention to that because of my digestive issues.

For instance, if I'm feeling sluggish and I'm also feeling like my digestive tract needs a break, what information do I need to give it? I need to give it something that's a little easier to digest, a little more gentle on the gut. So a lot of times I'll steam veggies and keep it really simple, literally steamed carrots with some olive oil on top, or soup. I know that the information I need to give my body isn't just about fats and carbohydrates. I need to give it something soothing.

It's the same if I feel like I could use a little more flushing in my body. I'll do more juices or things of that nature. Is it a cooling thing? Is it a warming thing? Do I want to be comforted? Do I want energy? If you really get curious about food, all of those things are really fun. I think we like to become too neurotic about it. Most anyone listening to this podcast knows that we have an issue with some of the pesticides and things that are in even whole foods.

We know that. But we can't hyper focus on all of those things either. You have to trust that you're giving your body enough of what it needs to be able to process those toxins, and that you're moving your body, you're sweating, you're doing other things. Then you can really find joy and a different way of looking at food, as a form of self-care and nourishment.

I think we get scared of food. Food is really interesting. It's what we need to survive and it's beautiful, but it can cause a lot of stress as well.

Nikkiey: Yeah. I'm sure you've heard this from the people you've worked with too, but some women don't eat enough. It's like the epidemic of the wellness space. They go throughout the day, and by the end of the day maybe they've had a thousand calories, but they don't know what they don't know. I always hear that from our babes: well, I grew up this way, I saw my mom eat this way, and I just thought I had to eat less in order to lose weight. Then when they get into our ecosystem, and I'm sure you also do this with your clients, we give them more food and they start getting the results they want. They feel more energized. And it's also teaching them the mindfulness you're talking about, which makes them more aware of how food positively impacts all these different pillars of their life.

Alexandrea: A hundred percent. I eat more than I used to, for sure. Here's how I used to live. I was going to get up super early, 5 or 5:30 in the morning. I've got to get to the gym by 5:30, I've got to do a really hard workout. Then I'm going to fast, or just drink broth until noon, and then I'm going to eat a salad with protein, and that's it. And I'd drink a lot of caffeine, which I don't do anymore. Then I would get to dinner completely exhausted.

A lot of times then you do want comfort, because you're beyond exhausted. I wouldn't say you're wrecking everything you've done, but your body's confused. It's like, what's going on? Food is beautiful and should be consumed, and it doesn't need to be the scary thing. This is coming from someone who does have a lot of digestive issues. But I feel like I'm now a lot more body positive and a lot more in tune with food and where it comes from, and I get excited to eat it.

And I'll be 45 on April 5th. I'm more fit than ever, and I probably weigh less than I did in college. And I do a lot more gentle workouts. Isn't that crazy?

Nikkiey: It's like less is more. And you're a fellow Aries sister. Let's go.

Alexandrea: Oh, gosh. That makes a lot of sense.

Nikkiey: I know it does. Aries. I'm March 22nd, so mine's coming up.

Alexandrea: Well, happy early birthday.

Nikkiey: Thank you, and to you as well. There are a lot of women probably listening to this who have gut issues and may not even be aware of it. You speak so much to the fact that you've learned so much on your journey and that you love food now. One of my girlfriends, who I just went away on vacation with this previous weekend, is afraid of things to eat because her gut is starting to act up, and she's on this journey to figure things out. What would you tell that person who's going through that right now?

Alexandrea: First of all, I don't wish that on anyone. It's really tough to not feel good after you eat food. There are a couple of things that I've shifted that have helped, but I want to be really cautious and say every body is different, and everyone is dealing with different things that they're sensitive to. Usually there's the normal stuff, like dairy and gluten and sugar and alcohol. But for whatever reason, I personally do fine on gluten if it's the right kind.

I can eat pasta from Italy and sourdough bread. In fact, it's really soothing for my gut. But in general, if someone's dealing with a lot of issues with their digestion, a lot of times they've been eating the same thing over and over and over, like a lot of salad. Raw vegetables, although they're wonderful, can be really tough on the gut to break down. So for a long time I eliminated anything raw.

I went to all cooked vegetables, soups, things that were a lot easier to digest. And if you don't have a celiac issue and you have a beautiful piece of sourdough with olive oil, most of the time that's actually going to be pretty soothing for most people, because you're getting that good fat from the olive oil. It's protective, and it's lining and soothing the stomach. I don't eat bread without some fat with it, because I also think about how it's flowing through my body and how it's going to spike my blood sugar. Perhaps the fat takes care of that.

So simplify. If you're scared about how your body is going to react to something, but you're eating 10 different things on a plate, you don't know what it is that you're not responding well to. The other thing, and this sounds really annoying because it's like, okay, how am I going to do that, is slow down before a meal.

Sit down, smell it, look at your food. Make sure you're not rushing from one meeting into lunch, or eating lunch over your computer, which I used to do all the time. When you do that, your nervous system is in fight or flight mode, and your blood is not back in your stomach. You want your nervous system to be calm so that your digestive tract can work properly when you're eating.

This is something that takes a while to train yourself to do. Women have it tough, because there are a lot of things around food that are triggering too. So learn how to slow down, enjoy your food, not be stressed about whatever it is you're eating, and then simplify it. And I would say back off anything raw and see how that does for you. Just try it, slowly but surely.

Nikkiey: That makes a lot of sense. I've heard other people say it may sound silly, but just slow down, sit down and chew your food slowly.

Alexandrea: Yeah, and put your fork down in between bites. The other thing I would say is, yes, you want to have a hydrated gut throughout the day. But a lot of us chug cold water while we're eating. That's not really recommended by most cultures; it's a very American thing to do. You're dumping all this cold water on your gut while it's trying to digest and get all those nice digestive enzymes going. So I would say back off the cold water while you're eating. Just have a little bit of water, but don't chug a big glass of cold water. Hot water before a meal tends to really help soothe my gut, so I do that a lot. And also, I hate it, but I had to get rid of coffee for the most part. I do very little coffee these days.

Nikkiey: And that has helped your gut? Was it the acidity of the coffee that was bothering you?

Alexandrea: Yeah. And it's dehydrating. Also, if you're taking your multivitamins and things in the morning, it's not a good idea to do that with coffee, because there are studies that show your body's not absorbing all those things you're paying good money for. And for someone who has Crohn's or ulcerative colitis or IBD, you might already be running to the bathroom frequently. Back off the coffee. That's another really good way to ease that, because it is a stimulant, a really powerful stimulant that we take for granted. I don't do it much anymore. I will have coffee here and there. I do matcha, green tea and a lot of herbal teas.

Nikkiey: Do you do decaf at all, or just completely...?

Alexandrea: I don't like decaf, for a lot of reasons, just because of the process of it.

Nikkiey: Makes sense.

Alexandrea: I used to own a coffee shop, so I know a lot about coffee. When I do coffee, it's a single origin, very high quality coffee, and I do about a half of a cup now. And I wait until I've got something in my stomach. I don't wake up and grab coffee. I never do that anymore, and I used to. That's another tip. If someone's talking to me about gut stuff, I say, tell me about your day. How do you wake up? What's the first thing you do? I want to understand the flow of the day, because your body is in that flow too.

If you reach for coffee immediately, you're not hydrating your gut. You're not allowing your body to wake up naturally. You're stopping that flow. There are plenty of Huberman podcasts on that, but without getting nerdy on it, my suggestion is to allow your body to fully wake up before putting any caffeine in it.

Nikkiey: I love those perspectives. It's super helpful. I remember hearing Huberman say that, and I gave up coffee last year, but it's hard for me to do on a regular basis. I love me my coffee. My gut is pretty solid, but I can understand that from the perspective of someone who has gut issues and is trying to eliminate things that make it reactive.

Alexandrea: Yeah.

Nikkiey: Hey, while you're listening, if you're getting value from this episode, take a moment to tap that review button or share this podcast with a friend. It's a small gesture that goes a long way in helping more women find their way to feeling stronger and more confident in their skin. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to support this show.

I want to pivot really quick, because you and I are very aligned on the concept that health is way more than just your diet and your exercise. It's also the pillars of sleep, stress management and your emotional well-being. Do you think there's one specific area, stress, sleep or emotional health, that people tend to overlook? And if so, which one is it and why?

Alexandrea: Honestly, I think it's emotional health that gets overlooked, because all of those things are tied to stress and sleep. If you're not handling or facing or getting outside help, or whatever you're doing to process emotions that might be going on, they pop up right before bed when you're trying to sleep. You might wake up in the middle of the night in that fight or flight feeling. The stress creeps in, but you don't know what it is, because you haven't stopped to recognize your emotions around something.

It's really interesting. If I'm coaching someone and they're telling me they're having digestive issues, I definitely ask them about their work environment as well. They'll say, it's super stressful, and then they want to move on. I'm like, wait a second, we're going to talk about this. Tell me about your day. Do you have time to eat? A lot of times they say no, I'll grab a quick snack. And you can see their body tense up. So let's talk about this a little more. Then you dive deeper and find out they're absolutely miserable with their work, or they're in a really stressful relationship with their boss, or something's going on at home.

These things can't be overlooked. It's funny, because you go to see a doctor and they'll never ask you whether there's anything traumatic going on in your life right now. A lot of people have stuff going on, and they're putting it in a silo and not looking at it as a big part of what's going on in their body. My father passed away in my twenties, and I really hadn't dealt with a lot of that grief. I do think there is an aspect of that that, once again, sat in my stomach, because I just swallowed it and let it sit there.

I don't think you need to be unscientific to realize the correlation between emotional well-being, physical well-being and mental well-being. It's all pretty tied. And what's great about where we're at right now is that there's more and more awareness that these aren't separate silos. It's all really a holistic thing, and all those pieces need to be looked at.

There's financial stress that really comes into play as well, which is emotional too. So I'd say emotions are huge, because you don't talk to your doctor about emotions. You think that's a therapist's job. But your therapist also doesn't typically ask, are you walking, or what are you eating? If we could take those things and blend them, that's what I have always wanted.

Nikkiey: That's why I love your mission and what you're after and the work that you're pursuing for yourself. If we can get more people talking about the holistic aspect of wellness, rather than just the Ozempics or the fast-acting diet crashes, or do this diet, do that exercise... If we can address the whole pillar of holistic health, emotional health and stress and sleep, for a human being, that's going to be the ultimate transformation they can experience. So we need more people doing this work. Thank you for the work that you're doing.

Alexandrea: It's my pleasure. I'm lucky to be here, so I'm happy to do this. I want to be of service in this world.

Nikkiey: I love that. You emphasize the importance of listening to your body. Why do you think people struggle with this, and how can they start to tune into it more effectively?

Alexandrea: I'll answer the first question. I think it's hard to tune into our bodies not because we don't know things are going on. Often it's just really inconvenient. We've got kids or work, and we've got other things we want to handle first. And to be fair, the system we're in doesn't make it all that easy to address certain things. It took me 20 years to get a diagnosis. I started having symptoms when I was 17 and got a colonoscopy before.

So it's a couple of things. We all have a lot on our plate, especially in the Western world. We're trying to do a lot, so it can be inconvenient to pay attention to something that's bothering us until we don't have a choice. Or we might have brought things up to a doctor and had our labs done, and they're like, oh, everything looks normal, even though you know it's not. So then you're like, okay, fine, I don't have time to dig into this even more. I know something's off, but I'm just going to go about my day.

Then you asked how we can tune in. Really, again, that's slowing down and being mindful, because the body is so intelligent and it's telling you things all the time. You're getting feedback from it all the time, but usually it's just not convenient. We're like, oh, I'll deal with that, or, yeah, I know I'm tired.

But if you slow down and take the time to really focus on it, even for two days... Two days of, I'm going to clear my schedule of the things that I can and pay attention to how I feel. How am I feeling in the morning? How am I feeling in the evening? How do I feel after this workout? How do I feel after I eat a certain thing? You start to get that feedback loop pretty easily, without obsessing over it.

I think that's the key, because obsessing can also be a thing. It's paying attention to your body enough to give it what it needs, or to start down the path of, okay, maybe I need to get some stuff checked out. I totally believe in labs and all of that, to confirm things or to dive deeper. But you've got to take a step back and take it a little slower. And that's such an unpopular thing to say.

Nikkiey: I know. Especially for a business person, and in what you do day to day, people in this space say you've got to hustle, you've got to grind, you've got to put the work in. Don't sleep, why do you sleep? Even Arnold Schwarzenegger says get less sleep, do more work. That's just the culture we're in. But I agree with your perspective. In the last couple of months, I've really slowed down to honor me and the flow and the ease of the day, because I used to be very much go, go, go. And I've seen such a drastic difference in the way that I show up. So what you're saying totally resonates, and I hope others can hear that. It doesn't need to be hustle and grind. It can be slow down, ease, and listen to your body. Especially if you have gut symptoms or anything you're dealing with, there are bigger things trying to call your attention so you can listen.

Which brings me to my next question. When our body is giving us signals, especially for you before you learned you had ulcerative colitis, what are those signs that it's out of balance? And what are some practices you do day to day? You mentioned meditation earlier, walking. What are some of the things we can do to respond to those signals?

Alexandrea: For me, as a go, go, go person who is still quite productive, because that's just who I am, something I started doing is really trying to start the first hour of my day a lot slower. If I do a workout, you will find me at a 5:30 a.m. class, but it's a yoga class, because I want to start that day with a slower, flow-type feeling. I usually wake up and try not to jump on my phone.

I'll do dry brushing of my body. I'll drink my warm water with lemon and some Celtic sea salt. I think the first hour of the day sets the tone for the rest of it. It's also signaling that I'm paying attention to myself and giving myself what I need. You're giving yourself some time. Someone listening might say, look, I'm exhausted. I can't get up a little earlier to take care of myself.

Well, that also raises the question: what's going on that you're so exhausted in the morning that you can't give yourself a little time? You can really look at everything you do throughout your day and your week, and it tells you a story. In terms of the signals your body's giving you, it's not normal to be exhausted all the time. It's not normal to be hyper reactive to things all the time. If you're always snapping, that's a sign that something is going on.

You've got inflammation somewhere in your body, or something else is going on, because that's not a normal state. I thought it was. If you've got things showing up in your skin, a lot of people have eczema or other things going on, your skin will show you. If not the skin, the stomach will tell you. You can also tell very viscerally from your bathroom habits.

Are you going to the bathroom every day? What does that look like? That's a really good way to tell what's going on. Are you digesting your food? Maybe something's going on there. There are so many things. I was losing patches of hair and I didn't even know. I was so busy. My dermatologist had to tell me, by the way, are you concerned about this patch of hair that's missing? And I said, what patch? I was so busy, I wasn't really taking the time.

And it's not a selfish thing to do this. If you don't do it now, the time comes off some other way.

Nikkiey: A hundred percent, fully agree with that. It's going to come on at some point.

Alexandrea: Yeah. There's no way around that that we know of yet. There's no hack for that yet. I totally believe in the right kind of stress for the body and the brain. It's really good for us. I purposely do a lot of really hot saunas because I want those heat shock proteins. I want to stress my body in that way, not go into a tailspin because someone cuts me off on the road. You want to fortify yourself for the right kind of stress that we have to deal with every day in this world, without living in that state all the time.

Nikkiey: Totally. You mentioned that a lot of people think it's hard to wake up extra early in the morning to take care of themselves, or they feel like self-care is this extra task they have to do. How do you help your people see how to shift their mindset, to see that self-care is so essential?

Alexandrea: First of all, I want to know what their morning looks like. I'm not going to tell somebody to completely change everything at once or to wake up an hour earlier if they're already exhausted. What I will say is, okay, if you're getting up and immediately drinking coffee, I'm going to suggest swapping that for hot water and lemon. I'm going to ask you to take one minute to just breathe. I'm going to ask you to take two minutes to stretch. Little things.

What happens is, if you get positive feedback from that, instead of it feeling like just another task, just another chore, it starts to become integrated. Like anything else you do, a habit is first discipline and then integration. Then it doesn't feel like anything other than your normal day, how you normally move through the day. I think integration is key.

That's why diets are really hard, or crazy cleanses. They're not lasting. They can't be integrated throughout your life. So all these habits have to start as micro habits that become second nature. You can't do it all at once. It's one step at a time. And I think our challenge here is that we're so programmed to think, now it's time to relax, now it's time to meditate, now it's time to write.

But in other cultures, it's very integrated. My brother lives in Spain. They walk a lot. The market's right there, so they get fresh food on their way home, and it's small amounts because they're walking. They take a long lunch. These things are integrated. The challenge for us is real. The challenge is to figure out how to take the world we live in, the days we have to face, and make them feel more integrated with these practices that may feel counterintuitive at first.

That's the challenge, and I have to teach myself this over and over with certain things. Other things are now so ingrained that I feel weird not doing them.

Nikkiey: I love those points about habits. If you want to experience something different, you have to change what you're doing in order to get new results, and the way you do that is by integrating new habits into your day to day. And I know you align with starting small, even just the minute of breathing and two minutes of stretching. That gives you a good return in feedback on how you're feeling. From there, you want to do it more, and it just becomes part of your day to day. If you do that for four weeks, the next day you're like, oh, I need to do this. It just starts to click.

Alexandrea: Yeah. You want the positive feedback, you want the joy and you want to feel good. That's what we're all trying to do.

Nikkiey: That's where my brain goes next, with environments. Health isn't just about what we do individually, the diet, the exercise, the walking, the sleeping. It's also about the environment that we create, where these habits can survive. How do you see our surroundings and relationships impacting our well-being?

Alexandrea: It's a great question, and that's another thing I ask people. What does your closet look like? What does your home life look like? Do you have a dog that barks all the time? These are actually really important things to look at, because the environment affects us and we affect the environment. It's a two-way street. Oftentimes, if somebody feels super stressed out, I'll say, take a picture of your closet, and their closet's a complete disaster. And this is no judgment. I get it, I've been there. But everything spills over into our environment.

Then we see that stress all around us. It's a reflection of what's going on inside. So another nice practice is to go slowly, week over week. All right, this week let's clear some things out of the closet. Next week, let's clear some things out of the pantry. Less is more. It really does bring down the stress and make you feel a lot calmer day to day when things are a bit stripped back, when everything around you is a little simpler.

I swear, every time I do a cleanse and organization of my kitchen and I keep purging and organizing, I know what beautiful spices I have, I know what's in the fridge, and everything feels a lot easier. It brings the stress down. If your house is chaotic, you're living in that chaos mode inside too. It's almost impossible to avoid. So it's another thing that I like to talk about.

Nikkiey: I love that. That's really important to talk about as well. So if somebody is in that current state... well, you said it. You take the time to purge and throw things away, tackling things one day at a time.

Alexandrea: One day at a time, one week at a time. You can't force things on people. It has to be in flow with their schedule. So it's, what can we eliminate so that you can do this task? I look at a lot of things from a business perspective. As a coach, what I'm offering is, we're going to assess everything, because I look at it just like a business. What do you want to keep? What can we eliminate? Because you can't have it all.

We've got to move pieces around on the board. But it's amazing when you really look at those things: what can go, what can be added, what can be moved around. And then, over time, because you didn't get there overnight, big shifts happen.

Nikkiey: Totally. How about navigating relationships where people might not be outwardly supportive of the journey someone's on, or aren't aligned with a healthier lifestyle? How would you handle that?

Alexandrea: That's really tough, and that's an area where I'm not a therapist, and if it's a partner issue, I'm not a couples counselor. So I would recommend counseling around that, because that is huge.

It's one thing for a coach to say, well, get rid of that person. You can't. That's not life. There are a lot of complexities that go along with relationships and the interconnectedness they have. If there really is a situation that feels unsupportive, there should be a deeper dive into that, and that probably isn't for me.

I can help them identify it. It's pretty quick; you can see people's mannerisms change and how they talk about stuff. It's very obvious. And I'd say that probably needs to be looked at a little deeper. It's a tough one, because peers and good friends and partners can feel weird when somebody's focused on themselves and growing and shifting, because the mirror changes a little bit.

It's always a reflection. They're like, oh, do I need to do this? No, I don't like that you're doing this, because now I have to look at this. It's a funny dance.

Nikkiey: It is, totally. I always joke around that coaches aren't just, here's your workout plan, here's your macro plan or nutrition plan. We're also life coaches, addressing the underlying issues. Just like you ask your people, how do you start your day? How are you at work? How do you feel? All of these different things get intertwined to make it successful for them to have the transformation or outcome they're striving for, by bringing awareness to the situations they're experiencing.

Alexandrea: Yeah. It's just the awareness, having somebody on the outside who's not going to judge, just listening with compassion. Because most of the time we know, but we haven't been given the space to talk through stuff and have that aha moment we need, or we just don't feel comfortable talking about it with somebody. It's not your doctor, and sometimes it feels weird to think you need a therapist or whatever it is. With a coach, you're in a safe space with someone who is just there to help and listen.

Nikkiey: We've talked about so many different things. Time has flown by.

Alexandrea: I know.

Nikkiey: Is there anything I didn't bring up today that you wanted to dive into a little more together? We have five or 10 more minutes.

Alexandrea: I would just say this. Because of my own experience trying to figure out what was going on in my body, and because we know there's a lot of autoimmune stuff coming up for various reasons right now, there are a lot of people who don't feel that great but have been told, you're fine. First of all, I feel for you, and I understand how frustrating that is, because you know somewhere in you that there's something going on.

Please don't give up. Keep advocating for yourself, and know that there is someone out there who will finally figure it out with you and give you the opportunity to make shifts. There are so many people who are exhausted. I was exhausted. I had tried a naturopathic doctor, a holistic doctor, an acupuncturist, cleanses, all these things to figure out what was going on.

I had multiple colonoscopies, and they said, well, we don't see anything. So if you really know something's going on, don't give up. Please keep advocating for yourself. You can push your doctor or find another doctor. I know it takes time. But if your doctor says, oh, I don't know, I guess we can run labs that your insurance will cover, you say, run every lab, because insurance will actually cover a lot.

If your doctor says they want to run labs, they're usually doing the baseline of things. Then you can take those, and at least you have that information and you're using your insurance. A lot of us are stressed about money and time, and I get all that. So start where you are. Push your doctor to run a ton of different labs if you feel you need them, get the information you need, and then don't give up. It can be so disheartening to not feel listened to.

So I just wanted to put that out there. If anyone listening feels like they haven't been taken seriously about their health, I feel you. I understand. Don't give up. Keep advocating for yourself. Unfortunately, that's just how we have to operate. If I hadn't advocated for myself, even when I ended up in the emergency room with intussusception, which can be fatal, I would have been sent home, because initially they said it sounds like it's just a stomach bug.

If I hadn't had a CT scan, where they saw the blockage and immediately said this is a serious situation... I was already very septic at that point.

Nikkiey: Wow.

Alexandrea: So it's a fine line. You don't want to be a hypochondriac, but you know your body. Please just listen to it. That's all I would say, because you have to.

Nikkiey: That's so spot on, and such a great message, and an amazing way to end this podcast: advocating for yourself, and taking everything you've already shared with us in this episode. Listen to your body, slow down, really tune into it and see what it needs. And don't give up. If you're experiencing these things, or there are symptoms showing and you just want to keep pushing, know that... I love the check engine light, I'm going to keep using that. Just know it's going to come on at some point. Get tested, get checked out, and don't give up if you're not getting the answers and you feel like you still need to keep figuring out what may be off. I love that. Thank you for adding that.

Alexandrea: For sure. My pleasure.

Nikkiey: Where can everyone find you on social media? And talk a little bit about your programs as well.

Alexandrea: Sure. You can find me at alexandreaspursuit.com, and on Instagram at @alexandreas_pursuit. Most anything you need to find is there. I post a lot about what I'm up to these days. I'm launching a YouTube channel to talk more about these things. I also offer coaching, and I have a new program coming out that really helps people quickly drill down into where they need to be next, because a lot of us don't have a lot of time and don't have a lot of money. So I'm trying to offer something that fills that space.

You can find all that information on my website, and the new coaching will be rolled out soon. But I'm here as a resource. You can find me pretty easily.

Nikkiey: I'll put your links in the description below too, so if you want to click into that and go follow her, please do. This has been such an awesome episode, with so many topics covered. Thank you for being here and sharing your message. It's important. It's about self-care and holistic health, and about navigating all these buckets as one so we can feel and be our best selves.

Your approach to wellness is very refreshing. It's a reminder that it's not just about how we eat or how we move. It's also about how we listen to our bodies, how we live on a daily basis and how we can create balance in our lives. And to anybody who's listened to this, just remember that small, consistent daily habits can make the biggest impact on your whole life. Even just the minute of breathing when you wake up and the two minutes of stretching, and then see all that positive feedback. Alex, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you and your time.

Alexandrea: Thank you so much for having me. This has been really fun.

Nikkiey: Real quick, if this episode resonated with you or gave you the push you needed, I'd love for you to pay it forward. Drop a quick rating and review, share the podcast with someone who might need it, and help me keep spreading the word. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but it might just be the nudge someone else needs to kickstart their transformation. Thank you so, so much for your support.